Many men are looking for love, many women are looking for a meal ticket. Learn to love yourself and become your very best friend, and the loneliness will depart.
true. traveld the world alone. back at home, my mind is very strong. i loved to communicate with people around the world. but germany is a depressing country. 5-8 years im moving away.
Yeah it took me approximately the same time but you’re absolutely right one day you wake up and that switch you described is just flipped without warning. And the difference is breathtaking. everything becomes better. The experience of total peace, and a level of control I hadn’t experienced in a long time. Sounds corny, but Sunrises and sunsets are better. The uninterrupted peace of watching a movie. The list is endless. Also the sense of control with regard to finances can’t be underestimated either. knowing what you’re worth, what you spend and what direction you’re going financially is literally priceless. But if I had to pick my current favourite. It’s coming home from work, which I enjoy, closing the door behind me and being enveloped in total and utter peace. Still have a girlfriend. But she lives on her own as well. Now that is just gold. The cherry on the cake and the cream in my coffee is to be able to drive home after a weekend with her and have a balance of both but with no obligation and risk. The most honest relationship I’ve ever been in. Each party knows if The other party becomes a pain you can just get in your car and go home. No more gun to your head no more forced obligation. Just perfect.
To you both, I'm sitting at just 2 1/2 years. Maybe my day will come soon. Did yall do anything particular to help get there? I'm getting back in shape, controlling my spending and focusing on my schooling for aviation maintenance. I still seem to be angry about what happened to me and can't seem to jump over that hurdle.
@@drumsnbass it was about 4 for me, I had a catastrophic back injury soon after my separation from my wife and glad I am back to walking and motorcycles, but I am finally at peace with living on my terms and having silence around me.
@@phantomform4171 you might always be angry or upset , but knowing your answers is better. You had a plan and you wife messed that up on you as you had long term plans. Had a vision. And all of the prep work, time, money and energy is gone with that dream. So it's normal to be angry. Your entire investment up till that moment .... got tossed away. Now it's time to start sketching out a new plan. I chose to not add another character into my future. I will work on it on my own with peace and willing to bend it on my own terms.
@@MrBBaron 11 years here, have more money saved then I ever had during my time with women. Had someone tell me once that men could live under bridges and be content, that it is women who need all the material goods. A lot of truth to that statement. Looking back at my life, all the problems I ever had to deal with there was a women involved.
As a woman, I tell everyone I am married. To my closest circle, they know he name is "my freedom". I go where I want, live abroad and my commitments are to new languages, cultures, food, and people. Never been in a LTR and I am not into anything casual. Just enjoying living my purpose.
Anytime I meet a woman, she notices right away my distrust and caution. The first thing they mention, “I am not your ex, I am different and I will never hurt you.” I get a flash back because it sounds so familiar from my previous marriage.
I feel for you. I would also say that you are not healed if that Vibe oozes out of you from the get-go I am with you though and that I would never put my life in jeopardy again from Marriage and I'm divorced and single for the past 26 years
John, thank you! I am a US soldier currently stationed in Germany with over 16 years of active service 37 years old. I retire in 4 years and I am going through the separation process of my second divorce. Your content is helping me evolve and grow tremendously in a short amount of time. You are a blessing, never stop doing what you’re doing. Blessings brother.
Been married almost 20 years with a 5 year old son. I had the divorce bomb dropped last Friday as I was getting ready for bed. Absolutely devastated… she’s got my departure all planned out.
This is a very deep message. And fortunately, I experienced it! Harmony 100%. I found myself after being lost for 10 years in marriage. I became a drone, a robot, slaving to her every need. oh man, she sucked the soul out me! I lost contact with 2 of my best friends… lost my identity. Do this do that? Always servicing her every need. But today, oh yes. I reconnected with my friends, watch football, shows, cook what I want to cook and think much more clearly about myself and doing the things I want to do! for all you married guys out there, trust me, there is an exit and it’s okay to fear it. Just know that freedom exists and you just have to grab it!
Turn off music, tv, and phone. Spend some time in absolute silence. That's when your inner voice will guide you. Well... at first, it will point out all your mistakes, then will guide you. You'll be fine.
It is true about the mistakes. Best to get that out of the way , identify what caused the mistakes; then don’t dwell on them for another second ( except as a cautionary tale) then move the heck on and live your life to the fullest. Time is ticking.
@Horatio1886build Agree. It's hard to forgive yourselves. It is easier to forgive someone else, though, but there is no other way to peace than letting it go... A lot of men struggle to forgive themselves.
Just me, myself and I...the addiction to being alone is real! In the end, all you have is yourself. As a single man for most of my life, I've been isolated and looked down upon by many family & friends. The married men are envious of my freedom and only admit it when they are drunk, while the women view me as some sort of threat. I feel better off without any of them, I've embraced it.
I’ve done both ( single in early years, LTR and married in my 40s with child) I’m 65 and widowed now. My Mirage was a live hate relationship and an ordeal as she deteriorated. I will take single hands down.
Truth...married men envy the free agent lifestyle of strong minded single men who refuse to kow tow to the system...80% of Only Fans subs are married men 😊
I spent most of my life alone until I married at 45. I thought I needed to get married to be complete, but turns out I was doing just fine on my own. I suppose I had to learn this the hard way to figure out that my best and most productive years were always spent alone. I look forward to returning to that life of peace and solitude once I am free of this prison called marriage.
Damn bro, I have a girlfriend who is constantly making me shit test and it really bothers me. I do test her, but not the way she does it. For example, if I don't response the way she saw on a tiktok or IG reel, she gets upset or kinda mad and it turns into a discussion where everytime I have to apologize to her and it happends almost every two weeks or once a month. So... kinda questioning myself if I want that almost everyday of my marriage (if I even get married).
I separated from my wife at the age of 56 and moved into a one-bedroom apartment. I didn’t know what to expect. I had never lived alone before. To my astonishment, I love it. I knew that I was an introvert, but I didn’t think that would make me immune to loneliness. It’s been almost nine years, and I’m still happier living alone than I ever was when I was married. The peace and quiet is priceless. I can live a simple, unassuming life without interference from anyone. My apartment is organized the way I want it. Things stay where I put them. My schedule is entirely up to me. I eat what I want, when I want. This life isn’t for everyone, but it’s perfect for me.
I can live with being lonely. Years of being constantly torn down by my wife from sun up to sun down. I had no idea it was as bad as it was until i walked away finally
You made the right choice. I stayed because of my kids. But I endured a lot of abuse over those years. Looking back I don’t believe it was worth it because she wound up turning those kids against me anyway. So I sit here alone today with just me and my dogs.
@Freedom-Fighter1 parental alienation is quite common, unfortunately. You are not alone mate. It happened to myself, however time passed and eventually my Daughter saw the truth, through the rubbish. All the best to you for the future
I've been living alone for 12 years, 67 years old and loving it !!! Hiking, kayaking, bike riding, strength training ,cooking good food and learning new language. I'm very happy !!!!
Once you find happiness ALONE .. you realize how draining other people/environments can be. Then if you choose to live a godly life.. you realize it even MORE.
I agree living alone isn’t being lonely I’m choosing peace, calm, and putting myself first after a 30 year marriage ended five years ago I’m not willing to give up freedom,peace and money for a woman
Female boomer here, I have never been married. My parents got divorced - that was the catalyst for me, the broken trust in marriage. Fortunately, I have not been lonely even when going for long periods without a companion 💞, because I have meaningful work - I work in the health field with people - always helping people, connected to people in an authentic way. That is what has kept me going and although I am at retirement age, I am still working because I love it. I was depressed when I was young until I found my vocation. And now, I do experience anxiety off and on, that is about finances and uncertainty of the future. I have lived a good life with good work and freedom, I love being free.
I've always told my male pals, it's 100% better to be single than in a toxic relationship. You will not believe the number of people I know are in poisonous relationships that just sit there and suffer it because they're too frightened to leave.
I realized a long time ago that the number one cause of problems in my life is other people. Not to say that I haven't created some problems for myself over the years or that everyone I've ever known creates problems, but I can trace the worst problems I've ever experienced to specific people and their actions. Now that I live alone I haven't had any serious problems for years. For once in my life I feel safe.
It was hard at first, especially the nights. It helps to have a friend who you can sit down and talk with, or do something fun, like going for a hike, a trip to the beach, etc. Eventually, the nights were no longer a time of feeling sad.
Ive been divorced exactly 1 week. Ex wife has already posted videos on Facebook about "eulogy of marriage," soliciting sympathy from others, very publicly. Thankfully, I only heard about it from friends, as I've blocked her account. Looking forward to having peace.
My profile deleted, I consider divorce as she filed her death certificate spiritually. My meta profile expired with her, I request my family to view the platform should anyone ask of me? I refuse to register any unsocial media, I consider those platforms All Phake, it's a waste of time. I only view XUMO PLAY and UA-cam. 🙏Furever and today's, Bella's Bebé's my🦮Service Dog, responds to my Medical Symptoms. God Bless You🕊
Please stay away from looking at her crap. It will Harpoon you and you don't need that I say this as a man who was married for 17 years wife asked for the divorce and I've been single in living alone for 26 years it will take a while to heal your heart but you don't need to dump all that other crap on top of it all
@@innergoof19 Good luck to you! I don’t see any reason to get married again. it only gives the govt the rt to tell u what to do w ur $. I won’t go into anything that profits if it ends and i’m the 1 that has to pay. no more !!
I’m 26 - already married and divorced. Used to think it was a stain on me. Now I believe having this happen to me young as I’m starting to find my stride was the best lesson I could learn. Confirmed bachelor and I’m loving it. I have all the leverage with the opposite sex now and oddly I think that’s what women truly find attractive in a man anyways.
Thank you John ! You’ve giving me clarity! My wife left me after 24 yrs of marriage.. all because she needed to find herself sadly, she’ll be broke in a couple years, but that’s no longer my problem. It’s time for me to travel and enjoy my life and this information that you shared with us is so valuable again thank you Dave.
Freedom and peace are the two most valuable things in your life. Especially as you get older. Once you have them taken away you are minutely aware of what you have lost, and that is a terrible place to be. I will never take them for granted, or ever let them go again for anything or anyone. Thank you for the video. These are helping people.
I noticed when no one is in the house for those few hours it really feels good. It takes intelligent people to truly appreciate such solitude. Peace of mind is what we need more and more in a world of chaos and uncertainty. Many Thanks Sir John keep up the good work
I was single for about two years after being married for 17 years. I didn’t realize how good I had it until. I got married again. Ugh!! I missed that freedom of going out or going anywhere without explaining myself where I was going and why. And not have to tell anyone I’m coming home late or checking in. Or if I just want to run out quick and grab a bite or run down the list of where to eat and negotiate on a type of restaurant. I’m seeing why people get divorced a second time.
I was married 20 years and now dating a woman for over a year. I feel myself getting sucked in again. She wants me to move in but I'm completely afraid of all the BS again. I just don't have the patience for it anymore. Reading your comment and many others reminds me that being single and living on my own is probably for the best.
I may be one of the most single minded men subscribed to your channel John. I can safely say that the idea of being in a relationship with a woman again (let alone living with one), is so far out of my universe, that that even James Webb telescope couldn't see it! Thanks for clarifying the joys of being a single man. Regards, Sean.
I absolutely love being by myself. I travel solo for photography and I'm never more happy than when I'm doing so. Wake up at 4:30 am, grab my camera and leave the hotel, head into whatever national park I'm at and look for wildlife, watch the fog raising off the river, sunrise, its amazing. When i travel with people they're loud, wake up at like noon, it's awful
Oh John! This is on the mark 1,000%! I was going to mention a few points and how good they are, but every single thing you say resonates with me. There is too much to do to ever be lonely. The feeling of peace I have without an ogre ready to pounce on me at any moment (because of their own misery) is wonderful. Being alone is wonderful, and far outweighs enduring a miserable marriage.
I enjoy this content even though I’m a woman and not divorced. I’m a widow trying to rebuild my life, right now, as a single person. I no longer have the energy for relationships even though I’m in my mid 50s. It’s hard to start from scratch. Thanks for your videos,, they are helpful.
Us "Nice Guys" will stick to the bitter end to try to save the marriage. We shouldn't. My Dad, that just passed, divorced our mother when I was young. He married his high school sweetheart, had a beautiful marriage together and were very successful in life. I knew I was going to get my own divorce but didn't want to tell him while he was sick. I told him I thought he was very brave doing what he did so he could be happy, and it must've been very hard to make that decision. He told me he still didn't know if it was the right thing to do because he was afraid how it would affect me and my younger brother. He carried that guilt for 40 years. I told him he made the right choice, and we wouldn't have had our Stepmother - Mom in our life now, and he wouldn't have been happy. I hope that helped him.
I never married , i am always solo traveler . Once i start travel solo i was affraid . Then by time i like it , i love it. Then the last 11 years i travel twice or 3 times a year always solo 😍 . I will be married soon to a rural girl who will stay at home taking care of home while i work to provide the living .
I've lived alone most of my life. I'm in my early 60s. I work in a good job, I've paid off my house, I keep extremely fit (resting heart rate in the mid 40s) and I maintain challenging intellectual pursuits. I remember hearing someone say of me many years ago that they were 'jealous' of my lone lifestyle. I've also had someone (a childless single woman in her late 30s!) say to me that I was 'selfish' for not being a family man. Guess which comment resonated with me the most?
Being homeless for 3 years and the going through the lockdowns completely alone taught me to value my mental health above absolutely everything. At the same time, I realised that every single time I've been in a relationship its caused my mental health to absolutely nosedive, having devastating repercussions in my personal life, the worst of which was being made homeless. Since I've sworn to being single, things have drastically improved, the best thing being mortgaging a house. I have learnt to love myself, live by myself and love the life I've built for myself. While I admit I still have the instinct to share that with someone, the risk of losing it all again based on someone elses spontanious decision just is not worth the risk. 😊
I had to rewind 5 times at the end of the video to absorb when John was talking about Brain Neurons! LOL! I think what he is saying is true. After I got divorced in 2019 I was a wreck LifeWise… but funny part, I was a madman at work.. became a workaholic and more of an alcoholic. I think he’s right in that my neurons started reconnecting again and I found myself! 6 years went by and I’ve doubled my income in sales and operations. Instead of dwelling on what went wrong in marriage I FOCUSED on my kid and my job. That’s it! haven’t been laid in years! I don’t go to bars! Instead I worked 60-100 hours week (100 hours when I created all my UA-cam videos last year) Maybe I have a compulsive disorder… I imagine I do! But a compulsive (go getter) will NEVER QUIT!
@@john-griffin After divorce, it's important to execute self-salvation to save yourself! It was an experience I survived and thrived! Freedom comes at a price. It's never free. I earned it after 10 years of misery.
So very true. Gray divorce here a couple of years ago. She was a covert narccist and just getting past the PTSD. In my travels, I am finding the PTSD and the pain to be quite common among the newly single men, and the fear of being lonely is not nearly as strong. However, I am concerned with the derogatory view on women in general they have an no sympathy at all and even cruel when they come up to them. My attitude is always be pleasant but a firm no and do not offer to help unless asked if there is something they need. No need to carry the anger. Thanks for another great video.
I’m currently traveling in remote areas in the Philippines, I wouldn’t be able to do this if I was in a relationship still. Truly life changing experiences I would miss out on
Life is so simple once you understand and accept it. Loneliness is a result of your choices, it’s really that simple. Most people don’t care to observe what is really happening or they try to create/manipulate “life” on there terms.
At first loneliness can be painful but after a while it mellows out when you have accepted that way of life. I pretty well have been alone most of my life and i find when someone is living in my space with me for a length of time, i feel smothered and want to escape.
I've recently had a breakup and it can be so tempting to obsess on what you've lost. I'm trying not to do that so I've decided to take some time out and go cycle touring. I don't know how much time I'll take and I don't know where I'll go. But I don't need to know. Thanks for your channel.
I bought a fun car, took 3 years off chasing sunsets, pictures of ghost towns and watching the world go by, trying to trust again. Learning what I would find acceptable when I returned from the world. It's ok to drop out for a while and reset
36 free and single. Best time of my life. Found peace joy and gratitude in life. The right person will come. Till then I’m enjoying my time to myself. It’s great to be free and do what I want
I have seen many of your vids but I really think this is the best one. I have been single and sexless for five years and I am not someone who will just sleep with someone for the sake of it. Since my divorce, I have had women mess me around on dates and not being direct and clear with me if there is a problem. When you think you have struck gold, problems arise. Just avoidance, ghosting or denial instead of addressing a problem. Much as I'd like companionship, I am not going to play that game. Generally speaking, I do enjoy my life single as I have hobbies, a son to take care of and a life. Despite this, I do get lonely sometimes but it's down to me to deal with it.
Freedom and peace after 30 years of marriage. No demands, no resentment, no financial headaches, and no longer being made to feel inadequate. Active, doing what I want when I want to and good friends, men and women. Priceless.
Once I became at peace with being alone. I could never go back to being in relationship. I tried a couple times. Once the criticisms and judgements started...I'm out. The rest of my life is my movie, not someone else's.
I have been living alone for 3 years now and finally I have reached a point where the times that I feel lonely are less than the times that I wished I was alone. 🙏🏻
My mother is 85 years old and lives alone after my Father died in 2019. I believe she enjoys it because she is living alone for the first time of her life. She still has friends and church groups to socialize with. She was sad dad died but enjoys her freedom now.
Early 50s here - lifetime single, healthy as a horse, no debt, going on 9 years of lucrative self-employment, mountain bike 4-5 times a week and ski when I can't. Not exactly what I would have planned but it worked out well for me. So many I know in my cohort married with a job are unhappy and unhealthy and I'm sure that'd be me too.
Imagine hosting people via CouchSurfing, I hosted almost 100 of them... some had some problems, but definitely it's better to stay away from my CS experience...
Being comfortable by yourself is a reward that only you can appreciate. My experience with joy and wisdom has always been temporary. You have your memories of the joy & the wisdom helps you grow as an individual. If you can find a woman that makes you happy all the time then more power to you and I am truly happy for you. I have never seen it in anybody else's relationships or experienced it in my own. Most married men envy the single men they know. I personally have had men tell me that and I am very happy that I am not married.
I'm only about 3 months in officially, and struggling greatly. This video helped with the idea of giving myself time to adjust and then to enjoy being on my own. Thank you!
You've nailed it with the concept of "loneliness". It's a withdrawal symptom to being addicted to drinking society's "cool-aid". Once you stop drinking the cool-aid you go through a withdrawal period and you come into your own person. A difficult withdrawal for some. I went through it the past 2 years off an on. Its part of letting go of preconceived/programmed expectations and embracing life for what it is. A kin to when you were learning to swim, the fear of letting go of the pool wall and not trusting that you can swim regardless of how turbulent the pool gets. Once you let go you struggle a bit as you get your bearings but eventually you realize, you can swim and its not bad at all. Someone splashes you in the face, its annoying but you're not drowning. So many people are brainwashed into following a "life script" and they don't even realize it. The life script says do X and get Y result or you failed to measure up, bad. Problem is the life script is an artificial construct. In many instances today the life script is completely broken yet people follow it anyway blindly then end up like everyone else following the script, unhappy, in debt, unhealthy, etc. Being by yourself in past times was considered disadvantageous for survival. That conventional wisdom became part of the life script. In modern times, that is increasingly becoming untrue due to shifts in technology, overall affluence, and shifts in social relationships. The reality is, whether you're alone or not there is no guarantee that you won't die alone. Which seems to be one of the biggest fears driving people into unhealthy situations.
Being alone is amazing but I do think it helps enormously having lived through the opposite scenario. As with everything in life if you’ve had no contrast it’s often undervalued.
getting divorced was the best thing to ever happen to me. I met an incredible person not long after and we've been in an Apartner relationship for 23 years. We're fully dedicated to each other but own our own places and see each other when we want, it's literally the best of both worlds
Old divorced boomer here. I have been living alone for over 10 years and I love it. I have several hobbies that keep me busy. No woman is worth my freedom. MGTOW monk is the road I travel on till the end of my journey .
It's easy to feel nostalgic or lonely if you don't take a moment every now and then to remember the details of the reality of cohabitation. I was thinking in the shower this morning about how my ex is still trying to lose weight by counting calories of everything she eats and all the steps she takes while continuing to gain weight in what I find to be a highly stressful way. How by contrast I lost 70 lbs after our split and have kept it off in the four years since without thinking much about it. I focused on how blessed I am to not have to deal with all of those unnecessary anxieties and go about my life, only accountable to myself and able to fix problems in ways that work instead of supplicating to ineffectual neurotic fixation.
This made me smile, Tnx for sharing. My man and I didn't work out. We were together for a long time, but it fell apart. I thought we'd grow old together, have kids... but now I'm left alone, wondering what I did wrong. The divorce was a long and difficult process. I had to move out of our home, leave behind all the memories we made together. It's hard to accept that it's really over.
I'm so sorry to hear that. It sounds incredibly painful. I've seen friends go through similar situations, and it's never easy. You're strong for facing this, and I'm here for you. Actually, I know someone who might be able to offer some guidance and support. There's this spiritualist who's helped others navigate difficult times like this. You could set up a virtual session if you're interested.
I'm a 55 M who will surely be separated within a few weeks. I've suffered a lot from being alone in the past, partly because of my libido. I no longer have that 'problem', but I'm still afraid of what awaits to me by being single after 14 years of marriage. I have decided to learn to be alone whatever it takes, but I'm still somewhat afraid of my emotions.
Going on a month in a brand-new place with no roommates or family living with me. Had been solo at my last place for 6 months as well. This video could not be more timely. Thank you, for reminding me I'm alone but not lonely! 🙏🏽 Solitude is bliss.
I live in a log cabin on a hill with acres of woods way out of town in Alaska with my pup and love it. I'm not changing much about my life besides trying to make more money to build more cabins.
That peace and freedom is so addictive. 10 years single dating here and there the thought of living with anyone except my children just sounds absolutely horrendous
'Conversation enriches the understanding, but solitude is the school of genius; and the uniformity of a work denotes the hand of a single artist.' Edward Gibbon
Most men I know cannot be single. I've seen men in their 80s marry women in their 80s and end up being a care giver. Many men I know have said they are terrified of ending up old and alone. To each his own, I guess.
OMG, if only I had a magic wand. I'm so sick of everyone's happiness depending on me. Seems like the more miserable I am, the happier my wife and eldest son is. It's freaking killing me man.
There are people that get side-swlped by divorce unexpectedly, but then there are people that are just in a rotten relationship and no one needs to tell them that. Being out of a rotten relationship and being alone is great, compared to the alternative.
I could never go back. I’m living my best life now. Letting a woman into my life would destroy everything I have built, and for what? The euphoria of falling in love is just a dopamine high, like the one you get from cocaine. And it’s just as destructive. It doesn’t last, and it leaves you an emotional wreck as you try to pick up the pieces of your life. No, thanks. Been there, done that. Never again.
I am alone, and I love it. I never have loneliness because I have a lot more friends. I DO NOT have to negotiate all my actions with a self-assumed princess, simply to service her as a mule. I am human.
I got married because I was lonely, not because I was crazy in love. I still want to thank my ex for 25 years of marriage and two beautiful children. Somehow I don’t feel love anymore the way it was in my teenage years. I am very happy to be alone and have my dogs.
I see loneliness as the feeling that no one is there for you if things go wrong. The question is whether anything really changes about that in a relationship or marriage other than our perception.
Another great Video John. Yes, enjoy the peace to allow your nervous system to settle down + hear clarity to live your best life. I realize I don’t like the distraction of women. Love your best life gents!!
Never been good with relationships. After a few years of being single i simply accept that is better for me.. Do sometimes i feel lonely? Sure. But the freedom to choose how i allocate my time is paramount. Sure i don't have a life partner to lean on for support..but that was hardly the case when i had a partner. Most people suck. The chances of you finding a good partner gets slimmer every year.
This feeling, as if you finally can breathe so easily... It actually makes a difference who ended a relationship(t). Leaving is much easier than being left, at least when it's finally done! No drama, - that's what it's all about in the end. Finally leaving drama behind and being at peace and in a quiet place, - hard to explain! Very good channel, you just got a new sub.
Thanks brother, totally inspired… alone 3 years in my cabin with privacy… never married her…girlfriend /partner has our 17 year old in nyc, she took over our apartment in uncontested, 20 year run with gas lighting extravaganza, like my time alone … amazing plus retired as well . Uncharted waters here… not being married but have 16 year old
There may be others saying the same as me in the comments, but here's my take: this applies to all other areas in life. Many remain in friendships/ social circles that are detrimental or no longer serves them, out of fear of being alone. Can't leave that toxic boss or workplace? It's fear holding people back (finance or otherwise). I've let go of many relationships (romantic and platonic), and I will affirm, John is right. You will be so happy, so fulfilled, you won't want to have another person in your life (romantic or platonic). With one caveat: unless that person enhances your rediscovered wellbeing. Thank you John
Thanks John! This one hits home for me. I will save this one and watch it over and over. I'm wrestling with this right now. I know I need this time to work on myself but always on my shoulder is that little voice saying I want another woman. Just the thought of vetting one exhausts me. Great explanation of loneliness in fact the best I have heard!
Staying together with wrong people in a toxic environment that can be a relation or at school/ work will cause a bad shift of your whole life into a lower frequency, with a lot of negative emotions alltogether... we all got trapped at some point of our life and felt the need to escape. Freedom is not something you can bargain about. Being single is not only about relationships, is going your own way in life, and if you'll ever start a relation in future it will be at your own terms, because you don't need it if it's not an improvement of your current condition.
I've lived alone almost all my life. I've played many different sports and have several hobbies. Cars, motorcycles, sailboat, restoring vintage audio equipment etc... I enjoy having a GF but wouldn't want to live with one. All I can suggest is find something that interests you......and if you can, stay single.
![Lp. Сердце Вселенной #60 РОЖДЕНИЕ ЛОЛОЛОШКИ [Финал] • Майнкрафт](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/YoR0pAV9FVQ/mqdefault.jpg)
Many men are looking for love, many women are looking for a meal ticket.
Learn to love yourself and become your very best friend, and the loneliness will depart.
You got it...WISE MAN
true. traveld the world alone. back at home, my mind is very strong. i loved to communicate with people around the world. but germany is a depressing country. 5-8 years im moving away.
Agreed, men are in love women are in business.
@@DwayneJoyce-q9i Shout out to the Coach gang!
*pension
It took me about three years to truly enjoy being by myself. One day, it was as if a switch had flipped. Now I’m so incredibly at peace with myself.
Yeah it took me approximately the same time but you’re absolutely right one day you wake up and that switch you described is just flipped without warning. And the difference is breathtaking. everything becomes better. The experience of total peace, and a level of control I hadn’t experienced in a long time. Sounds corny, but Sunrises and sunsets are better. The uninterrupted peace of watching a movie. The list is endless. Also the sense of control with regard to finances can’t be underestimated either. knowing what you’re worth, what you spend and what direction you’re going financially is literally priceless. But if I had to pick my current favourite. It’s coming home from work, which I enjoy, closing the door behind me and being enveloped in total and utter peace. Still have a girlfriend. But she lives on her own as well. Now that is just gold. The cherry on the cake and the cream in my coffee is to be able to drive home after a weekend with her and have a balance of both but with no obligation and risk. The most honest relationship I’ve ever been in. Each party knows if The other party becomes a pain you can just get in your car and go home. No more gun to your head no more forced obligation. Just perfect.
To you both, I'm sitting at just 2 1/2 years. Maybe my day will come soon. Did yall do anything particular to help get there? I'm getting back in shape, controlling my spending and focusing on my schooling for aviation maintenance. I still seem to be angry about what happened to me and can't seem to jump over that hurdle.
@@drumsnbass it was about 4 for me, I had a catastrophic back injury soon after my separation from my wife and glad I am back to walking and motorcycles, but I am finally at peace with living on my terms and having silence around me.
@@phantomform4171 you might always be angry or upset , but knowing your answers is better. You had a plan and you wife messed that up on you as you had long term plans. Had a vision. And all of the prep work, time, money and energy is gone with that dream. So it's normal to be angry. Your entire investment up till that moment .... got tossed away. Now it's time to start sketching out a new plan. I chose to not add another character into my future. I will work on it on my own with peace and willing to bend it on my own terms.
Was it scary? My switch hasn’t flipped yet
The longer a person is single, the greater is his desire to remain single.
Walter Scott
I'm single by choice and I'm loving it
@ENIGMAXII2112 that message is so very true. Single alone for 10+ years, and I could never go back to having a woman live with me ever again.
@@MrBBaron 11 years here, have more money saved then I ever had during my time with women. Had someone tell me once that men could live under bridges and be content, that it is women who need all the material goods. A lot of truth to that statement.
Looking back at my life, all the problems I ever had to deal with there was a women involved.
@@MrBBaron 15+ years here, life is great!
Almost 15 years, love being single and no regrets
Freedom is the most valuable asset anyone has
... besides time
Individual freedom is the "Greater Good".
I think Time is more valuable but freedom is right there as well.
It is important but without freedom you cant do anything @@ackbuilder8262
The power to make decisions for yourself.
No woman is more beautiful than my freedom.
As a woman, I tell everyone I am married. To my closest circle, they know he name is "my freedom". I go where I want, live abroad and my commitments are to new languages, cultures, food, and people.
Never been in a LTR and I am not into anything casual. Just enjoying living my purpose.
Anytime I meet a woman, she notices right away my distrust and caution. The first thing they mention, “I am not your ex, I am different and I will never hurt you.” I get a flash back because it sounds so familiar from my previous marriage.
Yeah, I remind them that they all said those exact words.
They’re all playing from the same playbook. Don’t trust a word they say.
Me too. They tell me they are not like that, but divorced their husband for the house and alimony.
I feel for you. I would also say that you are not healed if that Vibe oozes out of you from the get-go I am with you though and that I would never put my life in jeopardy again from Marriage and I'm divorced and single for the past 26 years
“No one is ever going to love you like I do”. Said by every ex
John, thank you! I am a US soldier currently stationed in Germany with over 16 years of active service 37 years old. I retire in 4 years and I am going through the separation process of my second divorce. Your content is helping me evolve and grow tremendously in a short amount of time. You are a blessing, never stop doing what you’re doing. Blessings brother.
We are with you! Be a rock!
Thanks, i’m glad these videos are finding you at the right time.
stay strong , your not alone .. he gives very good advice too
Stay strong!
Happy you serve in my country and provide also safety for me.
Greetings from Bavaria, Germany
Lost half of my military pension and my house to my ex; I'm now working as a DOD contractor to supplement the income lost.
Been married almost 20 years with a 5 year old son. I had the divorce bomb dropped last Friday as I was getting ready for bed. Absolutely devastated… she’s got my departure all planned out.
Sorry to hear that man
My departure ??? Why should you leave your house?
That sucks bro, really sorry to hear.
Sorry about that.
Sorry to hear that man. You will be better off in the long run
This is a very deep message. And fortunately, I experienced it! Harmony 100%. I found myself after being lost for 10 years in marriage. I became a drone, a robot, slaving to her every need. oh man, she sucked the soul out me! I lost contact with 2 of my best friends… lost my identity. Do this do that? Always servicing her every need. But today, oh yes. I reconnected with my friends, watch football, shows, cook what I want to cook and think much more clearly about myself and doing the things I want to do! for all you married guys out there, trust me, there is an exit and it’s okay to fear it. Just know that freedom exists and you just have to grab it!
I’m glad you’ve found your freedom!
@@john-griffin for you too John!
my thing is when we meet in hallway who is gona move over. not anymore
Well said
😂😂😂drone and robot lol 😂
Turn off music, tv, and phone. Spend some time in absolute silence. That's when your inner voice will guide you. Well... at first, it will point out all your mistakes, then will guide you. You'll be fine.
Bitch slap of truth right there.
For me it's the opposite. I can now finally turn up my music, my video games, my tv, the quality time I get with myself is amazing
Leave your phone at home, go for long solo walks in a forest or on a beach and listen to your inner voice become calmer as the days go by.
It is true about the mistakes. Best to get that out of the way , identify what caused the mistakes; then don’t dwell on them for another second ( except as a cautionary tale) then move the heck on and live your life to the fullest. Time is ticking.
@Horatio1886build Agree. It's hard to forgive yourselves. It is easier to forgive someone else, though, but there is no other way to peace than letting it go...
A lot of men struggle to forgive themselves.
Just me, myself and I...the addiction to being alone is real! In the end, all you have is yourself. As a single man for most of my life, I've been isolated and looked down upon by many family & friends. The married men are envious of my freedom and only admit it when they are drunk, while the women view me as some sort of threat. I feel better off without any of them, I've embraced it.
... and you're a smart man.
I’ve done both ( single in early years, LTR and married in my 40s with child) I’m 65 and widowed now. My Mirage was a live hate relationship and an ordeal as she deteriorated. I will take single hands down.
That's right my man you don't know anybody any explanation just strive to be happy and the best man you can be
Truth...married men envy the free agent lifestyle of strong minded single men who refuse to kow tow to the system...80% of Only Fans subs are married men 😊
Keep doing you.
I spent most of my life alone until I married at 45. I thought I needed to get married to be complete, but turns out I was doing just fine on my own. I suppose I had to learn this the hard way to figure out that my best and most productive years were always spent alone. I look forward to returning to that life of peace and solitude once I am free of this prison called marriage.
Good luck bro
So are you going to call it or are you waiting for her to make the call of divorce? Either way you're still going to pay for it.
Damn bro, I have a girlfriend who is constantly making me shit test and it really bothers me. I do test her, but not the way she does it.
For example, if I don't response the way she saw on a tiktok or IG reel, she gets upset or kinda mad and it turns into a discussion where everytime I have to apologize to her and it happends almost every two weeks or once a month.
So... kinda questioning myself if I want that almost everyday of my marriage (if I even get married).
@@fernandomarquez8890 Don’t do it bro 🙏🏻
Get married and trust me, it will get MUCH WORSE!
Red flags on display, depart! Eject!
I separated from my wife at the age of 56 and moved into a one-bedroom apartment. I didn’t know what to expect. I had never lived alone before. To my astonishment, I love it. I knew that I was an introvert, but I didn’t think that would make me immune to loneliness. It’s been almost nine years, and I’m still happier living alone than I ever was when I was married. The peace and quiet is priceless. I can live a simple, unassuming life without interference from anyone. My apartment is organized the way I want it. Things stay where I put them. My schedule is entirely up to me. I eat what I want, when I want. This life isn’t for everyone, but it’s perfect for me.
@@MundaneGray that’s all that matters
Me too , separated before 5 years , now I’m 50 living a one bhk home happy 😃
I can live with being lonely. Years of being constantly torn down by my wife from sun up to sun down. I had no idea it was as bad as it was until i walked away finally
Can you imagine how your life would be if you 'manned up' and persevered.
You found your courage and it saved you! More power to you my friend
You made the right choice. I stayed because of my kids. But I endured a lot of abuse over those years. Looking back I don’t believe it was worth it because she wound up turning those kids against me anyway. So I sit here alone today with just me and my dogs.
@Freedom-Fighter1 Yup same here. I stayed until they turned 18. None of them speak to me. Makes me wonder what was this all for?
@@1realtruthrightnow742 i’m sorry to hear that brother. I’ve often thought the same thing. What was it all for?
@Freedom-Fighter1 parental alienation is quite common, unfortunately. You are not alone mate. It happened to myself, however time passed and eventually my Daughter saw the truth, through the rubbish.
All the best to you for the future
I've been living alone for 12 years, 67 years old and loving it !!! Hiking, kayaking, bike riding, strength training ,cooking good food and learning new language. I'm very happy !!!!
Once you find happiness ALONE .. you realize how draining other people/environments can be. Then if you choose to live a godly life.. you realize it even MORE.
I agree living alone isn’t being lonely
I’m choosing peace, calm, and putting myself first after a 30 year marriage ended five years ago
I’m not willing to give up freedom,peace and money for a woman
Female boomer here, I have never been married. My parents got divorced - that was the catalyst for me, the broken trust in marriage. Fortunately, I have not been lonely even when going for long periods without a companion 💞, because I have meaningful work - I work in the health field with people - always helping people, connected to people in an authentic way. That is what has kept me going and although I am at retirement age, I am still working because I love it. I was depressed when I was young until I found my vocation. And now, I do experience anxiety off and on, that is about finances and uncertainty of the future. I have lived a good life with good work and freedom, I love being free.
❤
That's an unusual user name. "Buy wife" or "Shop wife"
@@James-dt7ky shop girl or clerk. Frau is not only wife, it’s an adult woman.
Are you dating at all? Do guys ask you out?
@@kauffrau6764 much respect to you! Your life is profoundly rich in spirit
I've always told my male pals, it's 100% better to be single than in a toxic relationship. You will not believe the number of people I know are in poisonous relationships that just sit there and suffer it because they're too frightened to leave.
When single and spending time in solitude, it is an undeniable sense of freedom.
I realized a long time ago that the number one cause of problems in my life is other people. Not to say that I haven't created some problems for myself over the years or that everyone I've ever known creates problems, but I can trace the worst problems I've ever experienced to specific people and their actions.
Now that I live alone I haven't had any serious problems for years. For once in my life I feel safe.
It was hard at first, especially the nights. It helps to have a friend who you can sit down and talk with, or do something fun, like going for a hike, a trip to the beach, etc. Eventually, the nights were no longer a time of feeling sad.
Ive been divorced exactly 1 week. Ex wife has already posted videos on Facebook about "eulogy of marriage," soliciting sympathy from others, very publicly. Thankfully, I only heard about it from friends, as I've blocked her account. Looking forward to having peace.
My profile deleted, I consider divorce as she filed her death certificate spiritually. My meta profile expired with her, I request my family to view the platform should anyone ask of me? I refuse to register any unsocial media, I consider those platforms All Phake, it's a waste of time. I only view XUMO PLAY and UA-cam. 🙏Furever and today's, Bella's Bebé's my🦮Service Dog, responds to my Medical Symptoms. God Bless You🕊
Please stay away from looking at her crap. It will Harpoon you and you don't need that I say this as a man who was married for 17 years wife asked for the divorce and I've been single in living alone for 26 years it will take a while to heal your heart but you don't need to dump all that other crap on top of it all
@@innergoof19 Good luck to you! I don’t see any reason to get married again. it only gives the govt the rt to tell u what to do w ur $. I won’t go into anything that profits if it ends and i’m the 1 that has to pay. no more !!
You're still using Fakebook????? Dump that, divorce it too...go all-in.
I’m 26 - already married and divorced. Used to think it was a stain on me. Now I believe having this happen to me young as I’m starting to find my stride was the best lesson I could learn. Confirmed bachelor and I’m loving it. I have all the leverage with the opposite sex now and oddly I think that’s what women truly find attractive in a man anyways.
Thank you John ! You’ve giving me clarity! My wife left me after 24 yrs of marriage.. all because she needed to find herself sadly, she’ll be broke in a couple years, but that’s no longer my problem. It’s time for me to travel and enjoy my life and this information that you shared with us is so valuable again thank you Dave.
Freedom and peace are the two most valuable things in your life. Especially as you get older.
Once you have them taken away you are minutely aware of what you have lost, and that is a terrible place to be.
I will never take them for granted, or ever let them go again for anything or anyone.
Thank you for the video. These are helping people.
I noticed when no one is in the house for those few hours it really feels good. It takes intelligent people to truly appreciate such solitude. Peace of mind is what we need more and more in a world of chaos and uncertainty. Many Thanks Sir John keep up the good work
It is definitely a good feeling, isn’t it?
I was single for about two years after being married for 17 years. I didn’t realize how good I had it until. I got married again. Ugh!!
I missed that freedom of going out or going anywhere without explaining myself where I was going and why. And not have to tell anyone I’m coming home late or checking in. Or if I just want to run out quick and grab a bite or run down the list of where to eat and negotiate on a type of restaurant. I’m seeing why people get divorced a second time.
I was married 20 years and now dating a woman for over a year. I feel myself getting sucked in again. She wants me to move in but I'm completely afraid of all the BS again. I just don't have the patience for it anymore. Reading your comment and many others reminds me that being single and living on my own is probably for the best.
Solitude freedom and peace is truly priceless.💯
Alone time = quality time! And never 'lonely' because I like the company of myself..... 🙂
I may be one of the most single minded men subscribed to your channel John. I can safely say that the idea of being in a relationship with a woman again (let alone living with one), is so far out of my universe, that that even James Webb telescope couldn't see it! Thanks for clarifying the joys of being a single man. Regards, Sean.
Thanks
I absolutely love being by myself. I travel solo for photography and I'm never more happy than when I'm doing so. Wake up at 4:30 am, grab my camera and leave the hotel, head into whatever national park I'm at and look for wildlife, watch the fog raising off the river, sunrise, its amazing. When i travel with people they're loud, wake up at like noon, it's awful
Oh John! This is on the mark 1,000%! I was going to mention a few points and how good they are, but every single thing you say resonates with me. There is too much to do to ever be lonely. The feeling of peace I have without an ogre ready to pounce on me at any moment (because of their own misery) is wonderful. Being alone is wonderful, and far outweighs enduring a miserable marriage.
I enjoy this content even though I’m a woman and not divorced. I’m a widow trying to rebuild my life, right now, as a single person. I no longer have the energy for relationships even though I’m in my mid 50s. It’s hard to start from scratch. Thanks for your videos,, they are helpful.
I save a lot of $$$$ being single and no headaches ❤❤❤❤❤great post 😂😂😂😂
Us "Nice Guys" will stick to the bitter end to try to save the marriage. We shouldn't. My Dad, that just passed, divorced our mother when I was young. He married his high school sweetheart, had a beautiful marriage together and were very successful in life. I knew I was going to get my own divorce but didn't want to tell him while he was sick. I told him I thought he was very brave doing what he did so he could be happy, and it must've been very hard to make that decision. He told me he still didn't know if it was the right thing to do because he was afraid how it would affect me and my younger brother. He carried that guilt for 40 years. I told him he made the right choice, and we wouldn't have had our Stepmother - Mom in our life now, and he wouldn't have been happy. I hope that helped him.
I never married , i am always solo traveler . Once i start travel solo i was affraid . Then by time i like it , i love it. Then the last 11 years i travel twice or 3 times a year always solo 😍 .
I will be married soon to a rural girl who will stay at home taking care of home while i work to provide the living .
I've lived alone most of my life. I'm in my early 60s. I work in a good job, I've paid off my house, I keep extremely fit (resting heart rate in the mid 40s) and I maintain challenging intellectual pursuits. I remember hearing someone say of me many years ago that they were 'jealous' of my lone lifestyle. I've also had someone (a childless single woman in her late 30s!) say to me that I was 'selfish' for not being a family man. Guess which comment resonated with me the most?
Suprising, being single, i have not lost my keys as often as i did being married.
Being homeless for 3 years and the going through the lockdowns completely alone taught me to value my mental health above absolutely everything. At the same time, I realised that every single time I've been in a relationship its caused my mental health to absolutely nosedive, having devastating repercussions in my personal life, the worst of which was being made homeless.
Since I've sworn to being single, things have drastically improved, the best thing being mortgaging a house. I have learnt to love myself, live by myself and love the life I've built for myself. While I admit I still have the instinct to share that with someone, the risk of losing it all again based on someone elses spontanious decision just is not worth the risk. 😊
Glad to hear you are doing better.
Never sacrifice your mental health or well being for another.
Keep it up 👍 👊
I had to rewind 5 times at the end of the video to absorb when John was talking about Brain Neurons! LOL! I think what he is saying is true. After I got divorced in 2019 I was a wreck LifeWise… but funny part, I was a madman at work.. became a workaholic and more of an alcoholic. I think he’s right in that my neurons started reconnecting again and I found myself! 6 years went by and I’ve doubled my income in sales and operations. Instead of dwelling on what went wrong in marriage I FOCUSED on my kid and my job. That’s it! haven’t been laid in years! I don’t go to bars! Instead I worked 60-100 hours week (100 hours when I created all my UA-cam videos last year) Maybe I have a compulsive disorder… I imagine I do! But a compulsive (go getter) will NEVER QUIT!
Great story!
@@john-griffin After divorce, it's important to execute self-salvation to save yourself! It was an experience I survived and thrived! Freedom comes at a price. It's never free. I earned it after 10 years of misery.
So very true. Gray divorce here a couple of years ago. She was a covert narccist and just getting past the PTSD. In my travels, I am finding the PTSD and the pain to be quite common among the newly single men, and the fear of being lonely is not nearly as strong. However, I am concerned with the derogatory view on women in general they have an no sympathy at all and even cruel when they come up to them. My attitude is always be pleasant but a firm no and do not offer to help unless asked if there is something they need. No need to carry the anger. Thanks for another great video.
Agreed. I wait to he asked if help is needed except for little old ladies.
I enjoy being alone.
You can do what you want when you want with no one to answer to.
I’m currently traveling in remote areas in the Philippines, I wouldn’t be able to do this if I was in a relationship still. Truly life changing experiences I would miss out on
Watch out for those lovely filis.
@@36handy and they can be lovely. Enjoy your travels mate!
Filipinas love you long time
Loneliness is a state of mind. Thanks John!
Life is so simple once you understand and accept it. Loneliness is a result of your choices, it’s really that simple. Most people don’t care to observe what is really happening or they try to create/manipulate “life” on there terms.
At first loneliness can be painful but after a while it mellows out when you have accepted that way of life. I pretty well have been alone most of my life and i find when someone is living in my space with me for a length of time, i feel smothered and want to escape.
I've recently had a breakup and it can be so tempting to obsess on what you've lost. I'm trying not to do that so I've decided to take some time out and go cycle touring. I don't know how much time I'll take and I don't know where I'll go. But I don't need to know. Thanks for your channel.
Great idea. Have fun.
Enjoy your journey, I hope you find what you need.
I bought a fun car, took 3 years off chasing sunsets, pictures of ghost towns and watching the world go by, trying to trust again. Learning what I would find acceptable when I returned from the world. It's ok to drop out for a while and reset
Got a divorce 4 years ago, the freedom is amazing.
36 free and single. Best time of my life. Found peace joy and gratitude in life. The right person will come. Till then I’m enjoying my time to myself. It’s great to be free and do what I want
The right person.....
The trick is realizing that “you” are the right person.
That "Right person" mentality is where they get you. And when they do, boy they do it good!
I have seen many of your vids but I really think this is the best one. I have been single and sexless for five years and I am not someone who will just sleep with someone for the sake of it. Since my divorce, I have had women mess me around on dates and not being direct and clear with me if there is a problem. When you think you have struck gold, problems arise. Just avoidance, ghosting or denial instead of addressing a problem. Much as I'd like companionship, I am not going to play that game.
Generally speaking, I do enjoy my life single as I have hobbies, a son to take care of and a life. Despite this, I do get lonely sometimes but it's down to me to deal with it.
Freedom and peace after 30 years of marriage. No demands, no resentment, no financial headaches, and no longer being made to feel inadequate. Active, doing what I want when I want to and good friends, men and women. Priceless.
Gave my young male colleague at work the big “heads up” about relationships and marriage just in case his Father/Grandfather haven’t!
Once I became at peace with being alone. I could never go back to being in relationship. I tried a couple times. Once the criticisms and judgements started...I'm out. The rest of my life is my movie, not someone else's.
I have been living alone for 3 years now and finally I have reached a point where the times that I feel lonely are less than the times that I wished I was alone. 🙏🏻
I never even married and I feel this way.
My mother is 85 years old and lives alone after my Father died in 2019. I believe she enjoys it because she is living alone for the first time of her life. She still has friends and church groups to socialize with. She was sad dad died but enjoys her freedom now.
My mom was the same. Free of responsibility
Early 50s here - lifetime single, healthy as a horse, no debt, going on 9 years of lucrative self-employment, mountain bike 4-5 times a week and ski when I can't. Not exactly what I would have planned but it worked out well for me. So many I know in my cohort married with a job are unhappy and unhealthy and I'm sure that'd be me too.
“That’s a shitty way to go thru life”….
.. that shit hit hard. You’re a blessing John. TY
Every person that you let in your house brings their problems with them.
Absolute fact.
Imagine hosting people via CouchSurfing, I hosted almost 100 of them... some had some problems, but definitely it's better to stay away from my CS experience...
But just remember that they can bring joy and wisdom with them also.
Being comfortable by yourself is a reward that only you can appreciate. My experience with joy and wisdom has always been temporary. You have your memories of the joy & the wisdom helps you grow as an individual. If you can find a woman that makes you happy all the time then more power to you and I am truly happy for you. I have never seen it in anybody else's relationships or experienced it in my own. Most married men envy the single men they know. I personally have had men tell me that and I am very happy that I am not married.
@ there is hobie I developed, called: 'avoid married family man' :)
gonna be interesting to see this channel and this mans perspective 10 years from now
👍
I'm only about 3 months in officially, and struggling greatly. This video helped with the idea of giving myself time to adjust and then to enjoy being on my own. Thank you!
You've nailed it with the concept of "loneliness". It's a withdrawal symptom to being addicted to drinking society's "cool-aid". Once you stop drinking the cool-aid you go through a withdrawal period and you come into your own person. A difficult withdrawal for some. I went through it the past 2 years off an on. Its part of letting go of preconceived/programmed expectations and embracing life for what it is.
A kin to when you were learning to swim, the fear of letting go of the pool wall and not trusting that you can swim regardless of how turbulent the pool gets. Once you let go you struggle a bit as you get your bearings but eventually you realize, you can swim and its not bad at all. Someone splashes you in the face, its annoying but you're not drowning.
So many people are brainwashed into following a "life script" and they don't even realize it. The life script says do X and get Y result or you failed to measure up, bad. Problem is the life script is an artificial construct. In many instances today the life script is completely broken yet people follow it anyway blindly then end up like everyone else following the script, unhappy, in debt, unhealthy, etc.
Being by yourself in past times was considered disadvantageous for survival. That conventional wisdom became part of the life script. In modern times, that is increasingly becoming untrue due to shifts in technology, overall affluence, and shifts in social relationships. The reality is, whether you're alone or not there is no guarantee that you won't die alone. Which seems to be one of the biggest fears driving people into unhealthy situations.
I like the analogy of letting go of the pool wall.
I do chores around the property here in Florida, I listen to your videos, such a calming experience. Thank you for your work.
Thanks! I hope you can feel the sunshine too.
@ lol 😂.. it’s been strangely lower temps, rain, wind. We are blessed though
If you stay single, you double your time you double your money and you keep your sanity❤️☘️🙏
Being alone is amazing but I do think it helps enormously having lived through the opposite scenario. As with everything in life if you’ve had no contrast it’s often undervalued.
getting divorced was the best thing to ever happen to me. I met an incredible person not long after and we've been in an Apartner relationship for 23 years. We're fully dedicated to each other but own our own places and see each other when we want, it's literally the best of both worlds
Old divorced boomer here. I have been living alone for over 10 years and I love it. I have several hobbies that keep me busy. No woman is worth my freedom. MGTOW monk is the road I travel on till the end of my journey .
You sound like you’ve got it figured out.
@john-griffin better late then never. It is much better to be alone than wishing you were.
It's easy to feel nostalgic or lonely if you don't take a moment every now and then to remember the details of the reality of cohabitation.
I was thinking in the shower this morning about how my ex is still trying to lose weight by counting calories of everything she eats and all the steps she takes while continuing to gain weight in what I find to be a highly stressful way. How by contrast I lost 70 lbs after our split and have kept it off in the four years since without thinking much about it. I focused on how blessed I am to not have to deal with all of those unnecessary anxieties and go about my life, only accountable to myself and able to fix problems in ways that work instead of supplicating to ineffectual neurotic fixation.
60 years old .. never married .. no kids .. no regrets .. freedom !
This made me smile, Tnx for sharing. My man and I didn't work out. We were together for a long time, but it fell apart. I thought we'd grow old together, have kids... but now I'm left alone, wondering what I did wrong. The divorce was a long and difficult process. I had to move out of our home, leave behind all the memories we made together. It's hard to accept that it's really over.
I'm so sorry to hear that. It sounds incredibly painful. I've seen friends go through similar situations, and it's never easy. You're strong for facing this, and I'm here for you. Actually, I know someone who might be able to offer some guidance and support. There's this spiritualist who's helped others navigate difficult times like this. You could set up a virtual session if you're interested.
Wow, that's so cool! I'd love to connect with them. What's their Instagram handle or UA-cam channel? I'm really interested in exploring that option.
Father abulu is his handle, he’s the best in what he does. sending u love and positive vibe
Thank you for this valuable information! I just looked him up online, and he seems impressive.
I'm a 55 M who will surely be separated within a few weeks. I've suffered a lot from being alone in the past, partly because of my libido. I no longer have that 'problem', but I'm still afraid of what awaits to me by being single after 14 years of marriage. I have decided to learn to be alone whatever it takes, but I'm still somewhat afraid of my emotions.
I was lonely during my 25 year marriage..... 1000% went to many movies alone...
Geez! How ironic.
@Kenny-Ross marry the wrong person you are alone
Going on a month in a brand-new place with no roommates or family living with me. Had been solo at my last place for 6 months as well. This video could not be more timely. Thank you, for reminding me I'm alone but not lonely! 🙏🏽 Solitude is bliss.
I live in a log cabin on a hill with acres of woods way out of town in Alaska with my pup and love it. I'm not changing much about my life besides trying to make more money to build more cabins.
Is Alaska expensive?
Sounds very peaceful bud. Any chance you'd be interested in making like a men's retreat up there?
That peace and freedom is so addictive. 10 years single dating here and there the thought of living with anyone except my children just sounds absolutely horrendous
'Conversation enriches the understanding, but solitude is the school of genius; and the uniformity of a work denotes the hand of a single artist.'
Edward Gibbon
Love the fact that you channel is simple in terms of presentation, no stupid music and the nature walk is amazing damnnn!
Glad you like the simplicity, I try to keep it real!
Most men I know cannot be single. I've seen men in their 80s marry women in their 80s and end up being a care giver. Many men I know have said they are terrified of ending up old and alone. To each his own, I guess.
OMG, if only I had a magic wand. I'm so sick of everyone's happiness depending on me. Seems like the more miserable I am, the happier my wife and eldest son is. It's freaking killing me man.
There are people that get side-swlped by divorce unexpectedly, but then there are people that are just in a rotten relationship and no one needs to tell them that. Being out of a rotten relationship and being alone is great, compared to the alternative.
Man. I’ve been single for 15 years now.
It’s really hard to imagine ever going back to that again. I’m at peace with being a bachelor
I could never go back. I’m living my best life now. Letting a woman into my life would destroy everything I have built, and for what? The euphoria of falling in love is just a dopamine high, like the one you get from cocaine. And it’s just as destructive. It doesn’t last, and it leaves you an emotional wreck as you try to pick up the pieces of your life. No, thanks. Been there, done that. Never again.
Thanks John for helping us
I am alone, and I love it. I never have loneliness because I have a lot more friends. I DO NOT have to negotiate all my actions with a self-assumed princess, simply to service her as a mule. I am human.
@ John Griffin. The POWER of one is one of none.
The therapist has spoken! Nice one Mr. Griffin! Now more than ever, single men NEED your valuable insight/mens channel. 🙌
Thanks for the support!
The only thing worse than being single, is being in a relationship and wishing you were single.
I got married because I was lonely, not because I was crazy in love. I still want to thank my ex for 25 years of marriage and two beautiful children. Somehow I don’t feel love anymore the way it was in my teenage years. I am very happy to be alone and have my dogs.
I see loneliness as the feeling that no one is there for you if things go wrong. The question is whether anything really changes about that in a relationship or marriage other than our perception.
You got it man. No guarantee your partner is going to be there for you when things go sideways. Oh contraire LOL.
Another great
Video John. Yes, enjoy the peace to allow your nervous system to settle down + hear clarity to live your best life. I realize I don’t like the distraction of women. Love your best life gents!!
That's exactly 💯 true this is what happened to me.
I live on my own it's fantastic
Never been good with relationships.
After a few years of being single i simply accept that is better for me..
Do sometimes i feel lonely? Sure.
But the freedom to choose how i allocate my time is paramount.
Sure i don't have a life partner to lean on for support..but that was hardly the case when i had a partner.
Most people suck. The chances of you finding a good partner gets slimmer every year.
This feeling, as if you finally can breathe so easily...
It actually makes a difference who ended a relationship(t).
Leaving is much easier than being left, at least when it's finally done!
No drama, - that's what it's all about in the end. Finally leaving drama behind and being at peace and in a quiet place, - hard to explain!
Very good channel, you just got a new sub.
You are your own best friend.
Yes
I couldn’t agree more.
Thanks brother, totally inspired… alone 3 years in my cabin with privacy… never married her…girlfriend /partner has our 17 year old in nyc, she took over our apartment in uncontested, 20 year run with gas lighting extravaganza, like my time alone … amazing plus retired as well . Uncharted waters here… not being married but have 16 year old
There may be others saying the same as me in the comments, but here's my take: this applies to all other areas in life. Many remain in friendships/ social circles that are detrimental or no longer serves them, out of fear of being alone. Can't leave that toxic boss or workplace? It's fear holding people back (finance or otherwise). I've let go of many relationships (romantic and platonic), and I will affirm, John is right. You will be so happy, so fulfilled, you won't want to have another person in your life (romantic or platonic). With one caveat: unless that person enhances your rediscovered wellbeing. Thank you John
Thanks John! This one hits home for me. I will save this one and watch it over and over. I'm wrestling with this right now. I know I need this time to work on myself but always on my shoulder is that little voice saying I want another woman. Just the thought of vetting one exhausts me. Great explanation of loneliness in fact the best I have heard!
Staying together with wrong people in a toxic environment that can be a relation or at school/ work will cause a bad shift of your whole life into a lower frequency, with a lot of negative emotions alltogether... we all got trapped at some point of our life and felt the need to escape.
Freedom is not something you can bargain about.
Being single is not only about relationships, is going your own way in life, and if you'll ever start a relation in future it will be at your own terms, because you don't need it if it's not an improvement of your current condition.
I've lived alone almost all my life. I've played many different sports and have several hobbies.
Cars, motorcycles, sailboat, restoring vintage audio equipment etc...
I enjoy having a GF but wouldn't want to live with one.
All I can suggest is find something that interests you......and if you can, stay single.
Here's ME about being single as a man the LONE WOLF 🐺 in ☮️✌️.