A narcissist is like a person who is very jealous of your successes, happiness, progressing in your life - especially if this happens without them. Go out there and be the best version of yourself and everything else will fall into place at the right time ❤️🙌
So true. I was after a narcissist girl. She asked to move on (she met someone else). Anyway, I moved on with my life, met another girl and eventually we were in a serious relationship. The moment she posted a photograph of us in a wedding dancing, inmediately the narcissist girl reached out to me out of blue.
My heart broke for him when I realized that he was showing me exactly what his parents did to him...by doing it to me. But my empathy and wanting to rescue this little boy couldn't help him. It's like hearing them drowning far out in the ocean and screaming for help but you're on the shore and you swim out to try and rescue them. When you finally reach their inner core they will pull you under the water with them.
All what you said resonated. I feel so bad for her and I still Love Her. I still feel I can save her but I know I can’t. The pain is unbearable. I just want to hug her and make all her broken pieces come back together. Do you feel their souls is damaged or hidden or both?
They are terrified of being exposed. The Nex in my life literally hid from he like a mouse after he discarded me. This was after I had always treated him with kindness, respect and compassion. But his mask slipped and he knew I knew what he was. They are full of shame, but they can't stop themselves exploiting and hurting people. It's truly horrendous.
I literally still cannot get over the pain and hurt. He robbed me of my time, energy resources and just out and about working on HIS hobbies and job and working out. While I struggle to get out of bed and heal. I lost weight, wanted to hurt myself and thought about exposing him for cheating on his current but I don't know how to move on. I can't forget the pain. Them suffering in the past isn't enough bc they still continue to destroy ppl. I felt worthless before and have childhood wounds but I never treat ppl like this. I never did anything like this or want control or to destroy ppl. This isn't a good answer anymore 😕 we need better answers for why they hurt others. And its bc they get a high from it. Some were indulged as children and just get a high from hurting you
@Of the Refrain oh I love Anoushka and she helped me so much and so smart and needs more spotlight. I'm just speaking from a deep wound currently of not wanting to make excuses for these narcs anymore. Maybe we can also talk about how sadistic some of them are. But I seriously agree and love her videos and support her work. I hope it doesn't come off any diff 🖤 and thank you for replying and sending me this positive reminder 💞
It takes time and education on NPD. Some, not all, narcissists are indeed narcs but they don't even realise it or intend to hurt others. They have a big problem, and they are self-loathing. You will heal, but yes it takes time. What helped me immensely was to educate myself on NPD, as well as taking care of myself in every way possible.
@@solidcatink i agree but i also think mine Knew what he was doing. And many do. He would confess multiple times. Thats when I really packed up and went NC. I was like ok..I have to start believing him and listening to his warnings.
Now that I have healed, I have difficulty in being "rude" to the narc. He is disordered, and it's not necessarily his fault that he is this way. I no longer take what he did to me personally. He reaches out from time to time, and I politely turn him down and wish him well. I don't want to hurt him. I pray for his healing.
@@Wishpool Oh thank you. It was a long, tortuous road to get to this point. I often oscillated between feeling the way I describe above, and hating him with rage. Ultimately, however, I cannot hate him. My default setting is Love, and so shall it be. But I protect myself now like the Crown Jewels...
I talked for 50 minutes to my ex narc today. I showed no emotions and he tried to get a reaction out of me. I didnt budge and kept telling him that whatever happened is in the past and I choose to move on with my life. I will not get caught up in his bs anymore.
@@TheCantstopem That's very good. You have healed ! How did he take "the new you"? They don't like it when we have new boundaries and are strong. They interpret it as "rejection", which is of course ridiculous.
@@solidcatink You described my feelings to a T in your reply: "I often oscillated between feeling the way I describe above, and hating him with rage. Ultimately, however, I cannot hate him. My default setting is Love, and so shall it be."
After no contact with my ex Narc for many months he sadly lost his father who was also our sons grandfather so the Narc used this as a way back to me. Of course I am empathetic so I gave him time to talk about his dad’s death but one call became a daily call and I felt like he was beginning to control my day again. I had to tell him to stop calling, I have sympathy about his loss but I do not want him back in my life, not sure if he will listen but he hasn’t called for 3 days 🙏🏻
With all due respect I 99% disagree with this. Before I say why I do want to acknowledge and thank all the NPD channels and coaches like Anouska for getting the info out there about narcissists and helping educate us survivors so we could learn about what happened to us and why. And I am truly greatful as it continues to be a tool i use in my continued recovery. Its not going to be easy to those just starting your journeys..it is a long road. I also agree that no contact is ultimately the best course of action just so you can try and heal and distance yourself from the dysfunctional, evil world of the narcissist. No point in continuing to immerse yourself in that toxic filth they exposed you to. And dont give them the opportunity to continue to inflict pain on you. I realize some have no choice to have limited contact...I truly feel bad for you. I wouldnt want to have to see my narc after the discard. Having said all that Im not buying it. The narc isnt 'hurt' or 'affected' by your no contact. They most likely have moved on. They have new supply to distract. Since they dont emotionally connect they arent missing your attention because they chose to discard or set up the atmosphere so u had to discard them. They dont care. So unless they didnt have back up so they have to cling to you or hoover if you discard them they happily move on to the new sweet situation theyve lucked into. They dont 'always hoover' so as a survivor whos still trauma bonded and maybe hoping no contact will bring them back cuz you hurt so much so you wait for the hoover..dont. i made that mistake early on. Also most of us have had childhood trauma or difficulty. Some have become empaths because of it. Disordered or not they know what theyre doing. They are adults now so dont excuse theyre behavior based on childhood trauma. My mistake was being overly sympathetic to my narc because of his childhood wounds. And i paid dearly for it. Im sorry but no excuse...childhood trauma gives NO ONE the right to mistreat everyone they come in contact with. It doesnt give them carte blanche to manipulate people with their sob story. I didnt get the same sympathy in return for my childhood wounds. I used my experience as a child to be more caring and empathetic towards other people. I am one year out from no contact. I no longer want him back. I no longer spend days in bed crying myself to sleep, contemplating taking my life because of what he did to me. But I still carry heavy resentment and anger toward him because of how badly he took advantage of me. So I would love every second of taking revenge on this guy. But I personally wont do it for karmic reasons but I dont think those that do seek vengence should be told not to or shamed for thinking about it. Obviously dont physically harm them(though I often fantasize about what I eould like to do to them physically) but I totally get if a survivor gets back at them. I keep hoping karma gets my narc but so far thats not happening either. I wish i had it in me to take matters into my own hands. Cuz from my experience my narc is living the high life. Hes not suffering. Hes not hurt. Hes not regretting his actions. Hes moved on to another cushy situation and even got married 9 months after our break up. And yes he is an overt malignant narcissist (no question) and I was the best grade A supply he ever had.(not bragging. Just saying that even being the best thing he ever had didnt make him 'feel bad' or 'suffer' for losing me). So dont fool yourselves. These disordered 'hurt people' dont feel their karma every day and wont suffer after leaving you devastated. And 9 times out of 10 wont hoover so dont count on that either. So dont sit and sympathize with them and excuse their behavior because they're hurt children..bull@$$t! Remember the emotional, physical, psychological and financial abuse they put you through and NEVER excuse their behavior and blame yourselves. They are trash and they knew full well what they did when they were doing it...and they will never care that they hurt you. Having said all that I truly wish all survivors peace and healing. I hope one day the sting of what your narc did to you will go away and you will find the love you all so deserve ❤❤
This is exactly what no one understands. You’re making me cry. It’s a no win situation. She didn’t mean to do this. I care so much about her and I know she’s a beautiful person. I couldn’t come up with the words all this time but you said exactly what I’ve thought all along. I’ve been in no contact and I’ve needed this video so long ago. Thank you.
Yes, he was stunned when I finally said enough after one of his rages. I educated myself after 5 yrs of this. He told me his heart was hurting and couldn't we work this out afterv2 1/2 mos of NC. He went into another rage and told me he had been cheating on me this last year. I was so grateful to God that he had released me from him before he could discard me.
I needed this, I went no contact. I thought this 50yr man won’t contact me because I called it quits. He tried to suck me back in, I have a good circle of men and women. I decided to go no contact. I saw the stupid patterns, said some choice words to him and blocked him off of everything..
💯 you are so right. He told me I needed therapy. So I went and learned what this abuse is. When I called him out he left me and already had new supply. 15 years and we had one child. They are awful. Go to God. Get out. No contact at ALL!!! Even if you have a kid. You can do it!!!
Narcs favorite thing is to tell US we are the problem. WE need therapy. WE are insecure. Mine even accused ME of cheating. Hahaha. Yeah right. It's all projection. Narcs lie but when they're projecting it's their way of telling on themselves. Listen. Really take in what they say. It's their effed up way of letting us know what they're really up to.
My ex also told me I needed therapy so I could be "fixed" to make like easier for her. Joke's on her though, because I wasn't repaired in the way she wanted. I saw her for who she really is, and I left.
There are so many unexplained things about the Narcissist, such that even when they are given emotional validation, its never enough. And honestly no one can consistantly fill their empty cups. It's simply not sustainable. They are given more validation than they realize, and then manipulate the other individual. Indeed, it's completely a no-win situation.
Anoushka, I am a subscriber to your channel, a regular viewer of your videos but this is my FIRST COMMENT. I have been spellbound by the content of your videos, the explanation in them and the research that backs the explanation. Your videos have literally saved me from self-destruction and over-thinking. Today, I am marking as DAY 1 OF MY RECOVERY FROM THE ABUSE from an evil narcissist in my life. I shall continue to follow your videos. Your content is simply EXCELLENT and UPLIFTING.
This is what I’ve been doing and I can see how confused he is as I no longer engage in arguments . I have to see him as we have a son together . Contact is very minimal . I don’t call or message unless I really have to. He does have his new supply which my son has recently met. I have not even acknowledged this which must be driving him crazy. I feel so powerful just having peace and not reacting . Such good advice xx
If you are discarded, you stop existing for them, so going no contact or not makes no difference for them at all. You can't hurt them with silence if they don't care if you exist or not...
Funny how everyone says nc, but they have done nc to you. Then again, if you keep reading they don't really forget you, they might even reverse hoover you, so that you reach out to them, and bam, they hurt you again! or possibly want to repair things but not so likely.
I have gone no contact blocked him which I told him I was going to and I knew that would cause narc rage. I run into him recently I was having a great time with friends and just ignored him. He just scuttled off.
They have no way to manipulate you when you go no contact. Every contact with them is damaging and has a negative motive behind it. It became easy when I could see it clearly.
Anoushka, your Blog's & Dr. Said at Sydney university Australia helped safe me. I'm 73, an SIGMA INFG PERSONALITY. Only found out with Wikipedia & Utube blogs how women have used me and hurt me all my Life --- even my Mother. The Canadian Army and Air Force SAVED myself. I'm an empathetic person and always always gave my ladies 2nd and 3rd chances Thank you so much for helping me see thru these creatures and save my SANITY. I was always intelligent but silly with women. I suppose " LOOKING FOR LOVE IN ALL THE WRONG PLACES" THANK YOU SO MUCH,, I'LL "PRESS ON" AND GO BACK TO TEACHING NUCLEAR POWER PLANT OPERATION. KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK, YOU SAVED A CANADIAN AIR FORCE VETERAN. STAY SAFE🙏🙏🙏🙏
Everything you have said in this video is what I believe is to be true. I think the way you opened it up was a very responsible approach and the first part to this video needs to be heard by everyone
Here’s another take on her lecture. If you really want to hurt and help the Narc then make them deal with their past. The pain you experienced is the projection of their past on you. Who whipped a young boy black and blue called them stupid ignored them. There injured because no one ever listened to them and their pain. They had no power to protect themselves at age four. See DR Gabe Matte The Wisdom of Trauma to truly understand the Narc.
I don’t want hurting my narcisist I wish the best for him , feel sorry for him Parents narcissistic brothers too this is horrible and sad same time. I wish best for him is not what I am looking for I get in love with the masck Real personality is not what I am looking for he knows is something wrong with him . I say him he is narcissistic but he knows, he call me narcissistic when he find out he can’t control me anymore. Very sad 😞 very sorry for them.
It seems to me that trying to look for ways to hurt a narcissist is playing a dangerous and stupid game, why would you bother, unless you want to develop your own narcissism. Better to save your energy to gain your own strength so no one else can decide how you are going to feel.
Great video thank you. I can sniff out Narcs most of the time. The Coverts are sneaky gits. I like to go back after a month or so non-contact. Smile but almost being emotional less, let them see you’re onto them and unaffected by them. The last couple of girls that I’ve encountered who were narcs on flushing them out, they get really nervous. Very uncomfortable knowing that you see them. It’s sad really. Their life is sh*t but it’s not our job to save them.
Also in cases like this indifference makes a difference, it's gotta be conciously done though, with a firm intention of never looking back, that's it...........
Confucious Say: “Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves.” I went no-contact and this strategy works best on many levels. It's difficult, but it must be done successfully and completely - where possible and feasible.
Honestly I’m so confused. 7 months ago I broke it off. He has attempted to contact me every few months. Each time I hang up immediately and block the number, no engaging with him whatsoever. Horrible person.
I love you, my ex dump d me 4 days after my sister died the reason because I wasn't giving her enought attention , that was a few months ago all the while trying to work things out, now u couldn't be botherd an ahe knows it and she's pissed lol
I don’t know how to react around my narcissistic ex girlfriend , I’m totally over her but I have a 3 year old daughter with her so it’s difficult I have to see her and communicate with her but when I pick my little girl up or drop her off and I see my ex it just boils my blood I don’t want to give her eye contact as she deserves nothing from me I don’t even want to speak to her but I have too not to sure how I should deal with this ?
Since 1989 i have did no contact, christ teaching only thing saved me from going super nova. I have lived long enough to see those who thought they knew everything, or laid hands on me, they died, and I know God is my defender .
I am so fortunate to have no ties that require me to have any contact with "Princeless" Diana I married her 3yrs ago when she was 71 and I was 66 She showed her true colors 3mo in as she became an adolescent Off the charts,
I did no contact for 6 months because he would come to me only when he needed attention and affection. He would disappear for months. Cruel. Then yesterday I found out he has been ill but recovering nicely. Yesterday, out of compassion, I sent him an email asking how he is. No reply. Big mistake for me to contact him.
I did something similar, I felt bad for his health struggles, and posted nice words, then email that we talk, to show him, I cared and showed him he got me wrong (discarded me), he just deleted on me again. This hurt.
This breaks my heart that my Now ex narc husband is unfixable ..it’s just sad I know he not who I thought however that glimpse of a lost boy ..my anxiety and exhaustion was def gaslighted but I stood up to his weird controlling about the heat and where things go ..but I just thought it was ocd or ridiculous difference between being Canadian and American ok I gave him all excuses ..he’s an only child can’t share ..then all this came out and my mind is blown that these people exist like wtf of all the internet people I had to go marry a fake person. ..No contact has no closure but fighting with a “child man” was also insane … this video did help but the situation is still bizzario to me
I mean this makes me so sad. These people were never loved for who they are. I'm always saddened by some of the content out there sort of stoking the fire of people's anger and need for revenge. I don't believe at all that all of these people seek to hurt others. We all have trauma responses, some more damaging than others, so I think it's absolutely a spectrum.
it absolutely is a spectrum. My ex narc has no idea of all the damage he causes others, all the hurt. He is a narcissist, for certain, but he isn't even aware of it. It's a very, very sad disorder for all involved. I simply pray for my ex narc.
And although the fleeting desire for revenge is a human, natural response, we must not act on it. We must not create more hurt, or we will bring in more bad things to ourselves. Best we can do is raise strong boundaries to protect ourselves, and pray for the narcissist.
@A.S umm...you're literally exemplifying what I'm saying. Trying to attack others in the comments for having sympathy for everyone involved is not a vibe 🤦♀️ and it really says more about you.
@@ZZ-rg6li is Latisha having a little lend of us? why would you want to send letters to a person that you are not supposed robe messaging? I'm confused
Sorry but I call BS... my ex-husband was and is spoiled rotten! He is the baby of the family, and he can do no wrong! They are BRATS! He even has a t-shirt that says "I'm always right!"
I can't stand how much hate goes out to narcissists. They have a disorder just as someone with OCD or GAD. Save yourself by all means but do it kindly. Narcs have 0 control.
A narcissist is like a person who is very jealous of your successes, happiness, progressing in your life - especially if this happens without them. Go out there and be the best version of yourself and everything else will fall into place at the right time ❤️🙌
Envy not jealous .
God bless
Well said!
So true
So true. I was after a narcissist girl. She asked to move on (she met someone else). Anyway, I moved on with my life, met another girl and eventually we were in a serious relationship. The moment she posted a photograph of us in a wedding dancing, inmediately the narcissist girl reached out to me out of blue.
3 things that hurts the Narcissist
Your Success
Moving On
Happiness/ Contentment
And ignoring them completely.
love wins- LEAVE the narcissist!!
Thank you for telling me
My heart broke for him when I realized that he was showing me exactly what his parents did to him...by doing it to me. But my empathy and wanting to rescue this little boy couldn't help him.
It's like hearing them drowning far out in the ocean and screaming for help but you're on the shore and you swim out to try and rescue them. When you finally reach their inner core they will pull you under the water with them.
such a chilling way to describe yet it paints the exact feeling and emotion i felt too. thank you for sharing this
My heart didn’t break for him, but the other things you describe are correct, they will take you down. Clingy, Yuck!🥴
All what you said resonated. I feel so bad for her and I still Love Her. I still feel I can save her but I know I can’t. The pain is unbearable. I just want to hug her and make all her broken pieces come back together.
Do you feel their souls is damaged or hidden or both?
This made me cry! Everything u said is all true
This
They are terrified of being exposed. The Nex in my life literally hid from he like a mouse after he discarded me. This was after I had always treated him with kindness, respect and compassion. But his mask slipped and he knew I knew what he was. They are full of shame, but they can't stop themselves exploiting and hurting people. It's truly horrendous.
I was so ignorant and appreciate all I have learnt about narcissism
I literally still cannot get over the pain and hurt. He robbed me of my time, energy resources and just out and about working on HIS hobbies and job and working out. While I struggle to get out of bed and heal. I lost weight, wanted to hurt myself and thought about exposing him for cheating on his current but I don't know how to move on. I can't forget the pain. Them suffering in the past isn't enough bc they still continue to destroy ppl. I felt worthless before and have childhood wounds but I never treat ppl like this. I never did anything like this or want control or to destroy ppl. This isn't a good answer anymore 😕 we need better answers for why they hurt others. And its bc they get a high from it. Some were indulged as children and just get a high from hurting you
Oh dear. I feel your pain so much. It’s so unfair. It really is.
@Of the Refrain oh I love Anoushka and she helped me so much and so smart and needs more spotlight. I'm just speaking from a deep wound currently of not wanting to make excuses for these narcs anymore. Maybe we can also talk about how sadistic some of them are. But I seriously agree and love her videos and support her work. I hope it doesn't come off any diff 🖤 and thank you for replying and sending me this positive reminder 💞
It takes time and education on NPD. Some, not all, narcissists are indeed narcs but they don't even realise it or intend to hurt others. They have a big problem, and they are self-loathing.
You will heal, but yes it takes time. What helped me immensely was to educate myself on NPD, as well as taking care of myself in every way possible.
@@solidcatink i agree but i also think mine Knew what he was doing. And many do. He would confess multiple times. Thats when I really packed up and went NC. I was like ok..I have to start believing him and listening to his warnings.
@@barbaraviniegra I hope 2022 is filled w healing, acceptance and forgiveness for us 💓 success too
Now that I have healed, I have difficulty in being "rude" to the narc. He is disordered, and it's not necessarily his fault that he is this way. I no longer take what he did to me personally. He reaches out from time to time, and I politely turn him down and wish him well. I don't want to hurt him. I pray for his healing.
Solid Cat Ink- well said. That's a very mature response and shows him that you're doing okay, while hoping he is, too.
@@Wishpool Oh thank you. It was a long, tortuous road to get to this point. I often oscillated between feeling the way I describe above, and hating him with rage. Ultimately, however, I cannot hate him. My default setting is Love, and so shall it be. But I protect myself now like the Crown Jewels...
I talked for 50 minutes to my ex narc today. I showed no emotions and he tried to get a reaction out of me. I didnt budge and kept telling him that whatever happened is in the past and I choose to move on with my life. I will not get caught up in his bs anymore.
@@TheCantstopem That's very good. You have healed ! How did he take "the new you"? They don't like it when we have new boundaries and are strong. They interpret it as "rejection", which is of course ridiculous.
@@solidcatink You described my feelings to a T in your reply: "I often oscillated between feeling the way I describe above, and hating him with rage. Ultimately, however, I cannot hate him. My default setting is Love, and so shall it be."
After no contact with my ex Narc for many months he sadly lost his father who was also our sons grandfather so the Narc used this as a way back to me. Of course I am empathetic so I gave him time to talk about his dad’s death but one call became a daily call and I felt like he was beginning to control my day again. I had to tell him to stop calling, I have sympathy about his loss but I do not want him back in my life, not sure if he will listen but he hasn’t called for 3 days 🙏🏻
That's a tough one. I'd have a hard time staying NC in that situation.
Currently, I give nothing, but am simply polite.
I will also had when you show the narc you are able to think by ourselve without behing validating from them it keep you in a safe place.
With all due respect I 99% disagree with this. Before I say why I do want to acknowledge and thank all the NPD channels and coaches like Anouska for getting the info out there about narcissists and helping educate us survivors so we could learn about what happened to us and why. And I am truly greatful as it continues to be a tool i use in my continued recovery. Its not going to be easy to those just starting your journeys..it is a long road. I also agree that no contact is ultimately the best course of action just so you can try and heal and distance yourself from the dysfunctional, evil world of the narcissist. No point in continuing to immerse yourself in that toxic filth they exposed you to. And dont give them the opportunity to continue to inflict pain on you. I realize some have no choice to have limited contact...I truly feel bad for you. I wouldnt want to have to see my narc after the discard.
Having said all that Im not buying it. The narc isnt 'hurt' or 'affected' by your no contact. They most likely have moved on. They have new supply to distract. Since they dont emotionally connect they arent missing your attention because they chose to discard or set up the atmosphere so u had to discard them. They dont care. So unless they didnt have back up so they have to cling to you or hoover if you discard them they happily move on to the new sweet situation theyve lucked into. They dont 'always hoover' so as a survivor whos still trauma bonded and maybe hoping no contact will bring them back cuz you hurt so much so you wait for the hoover..dont. i made that mistake early on. Also most of us have had childhood trauma or difficulty. Some have become empaths because of it. Disordered or not they know what theyre doing. They are adults now so dont excuse theyre behavior based on childhood trauma. My mistake was being overly sympathetic to my narc because of his childhood wounds. And i paid dearly for it. Im sorry but no excuse...childhood trauma gives NO ONE the right to mistreat everyone they come in contact with. It doesnt give them carte blanche to manipulate people with their sob story. I didnt get the same sympathy in return for my childhood wounds. I used my experience as a child to be more caring and empathetic towards other people.
I am one year out from no contact. I no longer want him back. I no longer spend days in bed crying myself to sleep, contemplating taking my life because of what he did to me. But I still carry heavy resentment and anger toward him because of how badly he took advantage of me. So I would love every second of taking revenge on this guy. But I personally wont do it for karmic reasons but I dont think those that do seek vengence should be told not to or shamed for thinking about it. Obviously dont physically harm them(though I often fantasize about what I eould like to do to them physically) but I totally get if a survivor gets back at them. I keep hoping karma gets my narc but so far thats not happening either. I wish i had it in me to take matters into my own hands. Cuz from my experience my narc is living the high life. Hes not suffering. Hes not hurt. Hes not regretting his actions. Hes moved on to another cushy situation and even got married 9 months after our break up.
And yes he is an overt malignant narcissist (no question) and I was the best grade A supply he ever had.(not bragging. Just saying that even being the best thing he ever had didnt make him 'feel bad' or 'suffer' for losing me).
So dont fool yourselves. These disordered 'hurt people' dont feel their karma every day and wont suffer after leaving you devastated. And 9 times out of 10 wont hoover so dont count on that either. So dont sit and sympathize with them and excuse their behavior because they're hurt children..bull@$$t! Remember the emotional, physical, psychological and financial abuse they put you through and NEVER excuse their behavior and blame yourselves. They are trash and they knew full well what they did when they were doing it...and they will never care that they hurt you.
Having said all that I truly wish all survivors peace and healing. I hope one day the sting of what your narc did to you will go away and you will find the love you all so deserve ❤❤
This is exactly what no one understands. You’re making me cry. It’s a no win situation. She didn’t mean to do this. I care so much about her and I know she’s a beautiful person. I couldn’t come up with the words all this time but you said exactly what I’ve thought all along. I’ve been in no contact and I’ve needed this video so long ago. Thank you.
Yes, he was stunned when I finally said enough after one of his rages. I educated myself after 5 yrs of this. He told me his heart was hurting and couldn't we work this out afterv2 1/2 mos of NC. He went into another rage and told me he had been cheating on me this last year. I was so grateful to God that he had released me from him before he could discard me.
I needed this, I went no contact. I thought this 50yr man won’t contact me because I called it quits. He tried to suck me back in, I have a good circle of men and women. I decided to go no contact. I saw the stupid patterns, said some choice words to him and blocked him off of everything..
💯 you are so right. He told me I needed therapy. So I went and learned what this abuse is. When I called him out he left me and already had new supply. 15 years and we had one child. They are awful. Go to God. Get out. No contact at ALL!!! Even if you have a kid. You can do it!!!
Narcs favorite thing is to tell US we are the problem. WE need therapy. WE are insecure. Mine even accused ME of cheating. Hahaha. Yeah right. It's all projection. Narcs lie but when they're projecting it's their way of telling on themselves. Listen. Really take in what they say. It's their effed up way of letting us know what they're really up to.
My ex also told me I needed therapy so I could be "fixed" to make like easier for her.
Joke's on her though, because I wasn't repaired in the way she wanted. I saw her for who she really is, and I left.
There are so many unexplained things about the Narcissist, such that even when they are given emotional validation, its never enough. And honestly no one can consistantly fill their empty cups. It's simply not sustainable. They are given more validation than they realize, and then manipulate the other individual. Indeed, it's completely a no-win situation.
How many ex's can a narcesist still interact with, can it be hundreds or just the recent ones. How can then control them all. This is mind blowing
Anoushka, I am a subscriber to your channel, a regular viewer of your videos but this is my FIRST COMMENT. I have been spellbound by the content of your videos, the explanation in them and the research that backs the explanation. Your videos have literally saved me from self-destruction and over-thinking. Today, I am marking as DAY 1 OF MY RECOVERY FROM THE ABUSE from an evil narcissist in my life. I shall continue to follow your videos. Your content is simply EXCELLENT and UPLIFTING.
What she says about No Contact is true. I've seen it a few times now.
This is what I’ve been doing and I can see how confused he is as I no longer engage in arguments . I have to see him as we have a son together . Contact is very minimal . I don’t call or message unless I really have to. He does have his new supply which my son has recently met. I have not even acknowledged this which must be driving him crazy. I feel so powerful just having peace and not reacting . Such good advice xx
If you are discarded, you stop existing for them, so going no contact or not makes no difference for them at all. You can't hurt them with silence if they don't care if you exist or not...
Funny how everyone says nc, but they have done nc to you. Then again, if you keep reading they don't really forget you, they might even reverse hoover you, so that you reach out to them, and bam, they hurt you again! or possibly want to repair things but not so likely.
I have gone no contact blocked him which I told him I was going to and I knew that would cause narc rage. I run into him recently I was having a great time with friends and just ignored him. He just scuttled off.
My ex is a narc, he must have been the golden child , spoilt and entitled
They have no way to manipulate you when you go no contact. Every contact with them is damaging and has a negative motive behind it. It became easy when I could see it clearly.
Anoushka, your Blog's & Dr. Said at Sydney university Australia helped safe me.
I'm 73, an SIGMA INFG PERSONALITY.
Only found out with Wikipedia & Utube blogs how women have used me and hurt me all my Life --- even my Mother.
The Canadian Army and Air Force SAVED myself.
I'm an empathetic person and always always gave my ladies 2nd and 3rd chances
Thank you so much for helping me see thru these creatures and save my SANITY.
I was always intelligent but silly with women.
I suppose " LOOKING FOR LOVE IN ALL THE WRONG PLACES"
THANK YOU SO MUCH,, I'LL "PRESS ON" AND GO BACK TO TEACHING NUCLEAR POWER PLANT OPERATION.
KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK, YOU SAVED A CANADIAN AIR FORCE VETERAN.
STAY SAFE🙏🙏🙏🙏
Boom!!!! Totally on point!
Wow!!! Very telling....and sad, too.
Everything you have said in this video is what I believe is to be true. I think the way you opened it up was a very responsible approach and the first part to this video needs to be heard by everyone
Im glad to find you. I am new subscriber here
Here’s another take on her lecture. If you really want to hurt and help the Narc then make them deal with their past. The pain you experienced is the projection of their past on you. Who whipped a young boy black and blue called them stupid ignored them. There injured because no one ever listened to them and their pain. They had no power to protect themselves at age four. See DR Gabe Matte The Wisdom of Trauma to truly understand the Narc.
Thanks. I will check out that reference.
Yes it's true they went through trauma but so do many and many do not treat people the way they do.
@@are-you-awake-yet You are so right.
Yup! Wishing all of you the best! Take the candy from the child guys !
Again just in time many thanks.
💕💕
I don't want to hurt them they do that to themselves the best revenge is working on yourself and move on and do better without them
Absolutely. 💯
Knew about no contact effect on narcs, but this explanation about why, conditioned in childhood, is so good 👏
Great message.
This was a great video. I'm looking forward to a consultation, but unfortunately I've been quite busy of late. Thanks for sharing 👍
I don’t want hurting my narcisist I wish the best for him , feel sorry for him Parents narcissistic brothers too this is horrible and sad same time. I wish best for him is not what I am looking for I get in love with the masck Real personality is not what I am looking for he knows is something wrong with him . I say him he is narcissistic but he knows, he call me narcissistic when he find out he can’t control me anymore. Very sad 😞 very sorry for them.
Yup mines called me a Narc too
It seems to me that trying to look for ways to hurt a narcissist is playing a dangerous and stupid game, why would you bother, unless you want to develop your own narcissism. Better to save your energy to gain your own strength so no one else can decide how you are going to feel.
You are absolutely right.
@@danieldonato3269 Yep. We all end up with Honorary doctoral degrees in Narcissistic Personality Disorder...
@@danieldonato3269 yep...
First comment💯
Congrats on 60k …🎉💕
Great content as always. 🙌🏽
Thank you for being 1st 🥇 and thank you for comment 😊
Great video thank you. I can sniff out Narcs most of the time. The
Coverts are sneaky gits. I like to go back after a month or so non-contact. Smile but almost being emotional less, let them see you’re onto them and unaffected by them. The last couple of girls that I’ve encountered who were narcs on flushing them out, they get really nervous. Very uncomfortable knowing that you see them. It’s sad really. Their life is sh*t but it’s not our job to save them.
Also in cases like this indifference makes a difference, it's gotta be conciously done though, with a firm intention of never looking back, that's it...........
Confucious Say: “Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves.” I went no-contact and this strategy works best on many levels. It's difficult, but it must be done successfully and completely - where possible and feasible.
Thank you so much for this information.🙏🏾
My nex messes around with my so called friend and thinks I don't know I laugh at the both of em in secret.
Ty
Had nassist mother,nassist long term relationship,nassist daughter and now in the hand of nassist grand daughter. Trying to survive 😪
Honestly I’m so confused. 7 months ago I broke it off. He has attempted to contact me every few months. Each time I hang up immediately and block the number, no engaging with him whatsoever. Horrible person.
I love you, my ex dump d me 4 days after my sister died the reason because I wasn't giving her enought attention , that was a few months ago all the while trying to work things out, now u couldn't be botherd an ahe knows it and she's pissed lol
Thank you. Bye
I don’t know how to react around my narcissistic ex girlfriend , I’m totally over her but I have a 3 year old daughter with her so it’s difficult I have to see her and communicate with her but when I pick my little girl up or drop her off and I see my ex it just boils my blood I don’t want to give her eye contact as she deserves nothing from me I don’t even want to speak to her but I have too not to sure how I should deal with this ?
Since 1989 i have did no contact, christ teaching only thing saved me from going super nova.
I have lived long enough to see those who thought they knew everything, or laid hands on me, they died, and I know God is my defender .
I am so fortunate to have no ties that require me to have any contact with "Princeless" Diana
I married her 3yrs ago when she was 71 and I was 66
She showed her true colors 3mo in as she became an adolescent
Off the charts,
I did no contact for 6 months because he would come to me only when he needed attention and affection. He would disappear for months. Cruel. Then yesterday I found out he has been ill but recovering nicely. Yesterday, out of compassion, I sent him an email asking how he is. No reply. Big mistake for me to contact him.
Ouch
I did something similar, I felt bad for his health struggles, and posted nice words, then email that we talk, to show him, I cared and showed him he got me wrong (discarded me), he just deleted on me again. This hurt.
This breaks my heart that my Now ex narc husband is unfixable ..it’s just sad
I know he not who I thought however that glimpse of a lost boy
..my anxiety and exhaustion was def gaslighted but I stood up to his weird controlling about the heat and where things go ..but I just thought it was ocd or ridiculous difference between being Canadian and American ok I gave him all excuses ..he’s an only child can’t share ..then all this came out and my mind is blown that these people exist like wtf of all the internet people I had to go marry a fake person. ..No contact has no closure but fighting with a “child man” was also insane … this video did help but the situation is still bizzario to me
Exposure, embarrassment, humiliation
i think watching a program on narcissists with your narcissist would definitely hurt them lol bet they don't sit through it
U will be surprised all narcs are schooled online by other narcs . It’s not the family .
Encountered a narcissist co worker. Surrounded by enabling mgrs and co workers who minimise the abuse. Save yourself, leave NPD.
I mean this makes me so sad. These people were never loved for who they are. I'm always saddened by some of the content out there sort of stoking the fire of people's anger and need for revenge. I don't believe at all that all of these people seek to hurt others. We all have trauma responses, some more damaging than others, so I think it's absolutely a spectrum.
it absolutely is a spectrum. My ex narc has no idea of all the damage he causes others, all the hurt. He is a narcissist, for certain, but he isn't even aware of it. It's a very, very sad disorder for all involved. I simply pray for my ex narc.
And although the fleeting desire for revenge is a human, natural response, we must not act on it. We must not create more hurt, or we will bring in more bad things to ourselves. Best we can do is raise strong boundaries to protect ourselves, and pray for the narcissist.
@A.S umm...you're literally exemplifying what I'm saying. Trying to attack others in the comments for having sympathy for everyone involved is not a vibe 🤦♀️ and it really says more about you.
But if they have a new supply there not bothered if you go no contact
What happens if you go no contact but still send letters?
Thats contact
@@ZZ-rg6li is Latisha having a little lend of us?
why would you want to send letters to a person that you are not supposed robe messaging? I'm confused
Most of this seems to be focused on women narcissists, what about the males? Seems to be quite different in my experience.
My EX girlfriend blocked me?
Co parent emails and text no voice !
My cousins were flying monkeys for the narcissist
Advert is too long. Really annoying
Sorry but I call BS... my ex-husband was and is spoiled rotten! He is the baby of the family, and he can do no wrong! They are BRATS! He even has a t-shirt that says "I'm always right!"
I can't stand how much hate goes out to narcissists. They have a disorder just as someone with OCD or GAD. Save yourself by all means but do it kindly. Narcs have 0 control.
The wall was hard on anouska' she sounds like a man and looks like great grandma