Here's what my narcissistic sister did. I was living, temporarily, at her place but discovered her toxic narcissistic behaviour.( Didn't fully realise the narcissism at the time, but yes I learned a lot from this and other channels. ) I went and stayed with other family at one point for a few weeks, moving some of my belongings but not all of it yet. She must have been feeling exposed or rejected. That moment she changed the locks of her house so I couldn't get the rest of my belongings. Making it seem she's throwing me out. I think it gives her the illusion she's in control.
It's usually a learned behavior earlier in childhood life that is past down from a parent who instills their Narcissistic Traits upon their children that causes them to become dependent on this type of learned abuse . PS . Makes me angry to know that this is done to innocent children . ( Our Own Creation ). We all should be aware of what happens when The Historionic's of Global Generational Degradation in the world and its deliberate display of emotion for effect goes unnoticed and reaches its climax . We enter the age of a Global Narcissism Epidemic .
Borderlines do it to, maybe even more so. It's so hard to recover from. They just don't appear to give a s**t and seem to take a perverse pleasure from hurting and smearing you to other people you both mutually know.
They fear rejection or abandonment but its precisely their behaviour that drives away the person who is giving them the opposite of what they are scared will happen! Oh the irony 🤦♀️
@@anoushkamarcin Wow! now isn't that something. if only they would surrender to the Love that God Almighty has for them. seems they are trapped in a terrible vicious cycle.
Yeah I agree but they love to give their followers, on social media, the impression that everything is Hunky Dory, a wedding picture of the blooming bride beaming with groom by her side springs to mind
Me too! The relief is tremendous. The lies started on the very first date. Glad that relationship didn't last very long. Feels so good to be myself again, and happy.
I agree with this. It’s so nice not hearing how bad everyone else is doing… which is about all she used to talk about. And was all complete nonsense. Is just what she wanted…
I think they couldn´t care less. Because it was never about you in person. It was about using you as a supply (object). I personally don´t even think they think about that. They only think they miss is using you. But for yourself it is good to become successful and live your life you want. You deserve that. ...
Any time they think its gonna end they panic. They'll even abuse you as an attempt to get you to stay. Once they feel like you are staying, they switch back to indifference. Trust me, they resent you for their fear of abandonment. They hate that you have this power over them
I discarded the narcissist. He did a very bad thing to me as these narcs do and he must be living in fear of me exposing that and him. Hence the hoover attempts. At the end of the day when you meet the narcissist you actually fall in love with you. The whole relationship is a fake game with smoke and mirrors. You have to stop playing the game. The survivor had the power the whole time. They just temporarily handed that power and control to the narcissist. You can take it back! You can walk away. You can heal, grow and elevate. They can’t. They are stuck in the low vibrational quagmire they dragged you down to. It does get better. Let them live in fear. It’s no less than they deserve.
Orrr.. if you rejected them and caused “too much pain” that they want you to feel the same. If you realised who they are and they know you know to a certain extend or even completely understand what’s going on. They’re not happy with you living your best life without them or see you for who they truly are. Because they think “how dare you” not beg for me to be part of my life. So sometimes they come back just out of revenge, it’s not only just heal their injury. But simply to finish you, if you out play them. But no contact folks always winnsss🤫😎
I have a rejected sociopathic stalker. Im suffering mental and physical issues and was in my own world when she made advances on me I brutally rejected her multiple times and she quit her job to in person stalk me. Its like a horror movie and these people are demons.
Yes. I was discarded in June Bc he had another piece of trash for 7 months at the same time as me. I was with him for 6 years. I never knew he was a narc! So I found out about the new supply and texted him telling him I knew. And that he was a compulsive cheater and liar. He immediately blocked me. I’m going to send the new supply a thank you card soon. 🙏🏼
Mine also had a piece of trash as well... He conveniently forgot to tell me that he was still legally married. All heck broke loose when I realized it and did some research finding out there was no divorce, even have my lawyer look into it and they found no divorce, and even after confronting him he's still refused to tell the truth. Because I outed him so badly, he started a smear campaign against me that went on for months and months. I never said one word at all and I never will if I ever happen to run into the jerk again.
I honestly wish I didn't let her know that I know. I would always call my narc ex out on what she did, but I didn't know about narcissism. Now that I know, I can never see her the same. I know I scared her away for good. She told me that I trigger her too much. I understand that she is not good for me, but I am truly hurt and sad that I will probably never see or talk to her again. I knew she had trauma from her childhood and I really tried to help. I loved her the best that I could.
@tarotmafia Thank you. I am really struggling. She has a kid that I had gotten really close to. I taught her kid how to ride a bike. I used to take her kid to school every morning and pick them up as if they were my own. For me to know that I can easily be forgotten and that I was never loved is heartbreaking. It's hard for me to accept.
Wow - you have described my same situation! My narcissistic partner also states that I trigger her too much and now feels uncomfortable communicating with me. However I am fully aware that her response is due to being unmasked and exposed of the truth. The truth that has exposed her abuse cycle, and therefore has triggered the narcissistic injury. I now accept that she has a delusional self image of being a nice person, when in fact she is dysregulated, manipulative and toxic. She is wrapped up in wall of mirrors and she is selective in how she sees herself, and how she wants others to see her. I wanted and hope she would do the inner/self-therapy work to change in a more healthier way, because i also was empathic to her childhood trauma issues, but despite my love, support and patience, she became progressively worse and resentful. It appears me exposing her has regretably caused too much damage and now she has discarded and devalued our relationship. In the end her behavior and communication style had become too toxic to not call it out. I just wanted her to take some accountability in the hope she would develop to a better person. It's not easy to deal with fallout repercussions and it's very enegry draining. It's felt like a game of mental chess!
I’m currently sort of dating a narcissist. And I like her a lot. I play the “hot and cold” game with her and it draws her closer to me. Trust me… I can expose her and make her feel uncomfortable but I have empathy.
It's crazy before I discovered she was a narcissist her behavior never really bothered me. I.jus looked at her as a kid having a tantrum. Once I discovered she was a narcissist everything changed. It affected my nervous system.
The one I have (my mother) threatens to throw me out of the house like every six months for the last 10 years. N guess what…..the last time she said that to me was about two weeks ago n that will be the last time because she doesn’t scare me anymore. I’m so done with her. Now I’m just getting my plans together to save money and get the hell out of this nut house n never look back….stay strong everyone. Peace and love ❤❤❤
i went thru many years of that. i used to be out at 12, 13 years old wandering for days. they dont care. my father blames me for my own existence. make that make sense. they are evil. our torture is a game to them. sorry ur goin thru that 💔
Get your ducks in a row, and work hard to never depend on her for anything ever again. And if the abuse continues (and it will), adjust and find a resolution to the new tactics she will employ. If it continues or if you find it necessary for your own peace and health, just go full no contact. Good luck. I'm on a similar journey. They never stop. They just change their tactical approach. 😕
@@lynx70123 I hear ya n oh my plan is in motion. I know it’ll take a lil time but I’m ok with that. Ya know, for them, it’s really a sad sorry life to live that way. I’m so glad glad I’m not like that. Try n think of it that way and maybe it’ll help you a bit. Also, I learned that they’re there to teach us a lesson in a way. We’re strong enough to prevail. Good luck and keep smiling 😊 peace and love ❤️
What narcissists fear the most? I think it is the truth about how narcissist really thinks about you and that they don't want anyone to know what goes on in their devious minds and Unscrupulous thoughts!
IF they would come back, then it would happen only for validation. Because they had triggered to become abandoned in your former relationship, they did't care, they think they are the greatest on earth. Also it could happen that they will leave you, only for revenge.
@@anoushkamarcin Thank you so much, you are helping so much people to understand what is going on with a toxic partner. Unfortunately high empathic people have to learn to see the first signs of toxicity. I have problems to trust someone, but of course, it was my own fault. I agreed in former times to such partners with really narcistic character, I had not enough self esteem. I was so flashed about the appearance and charisma and was so fascinated about breadcrumps of kindness, that it got a problem for me. For luck I ended the short affair, but it hurts a long time after. Until now, I am wondering, WHY I had been soooo blind? Why didn´t I say: No, I don´t want you? I must say, I had seen the signs but didn´t believe my inner self.
I don't understand why they play mind games and act atrociously just to keep you from leaving, when they can treat you well which is more likely to make you stay...
They play trauma bonding, wish the victim always fear of abandoned by them cause they think they're so fuc*in' special and we're so lucky to have them. Unfortunately they're not that "special" and the normal people Will leave them straight with their bad behavior (manipulating, cheating, gashlighting, etc...). They're SICK people who think they're GOD or something equal...😂
@@Lilithien-em1xqYES!!!! My god it is so frustrating. The whole thing is so twisted. WTF happened to them to think like this????? My narc was very intelligent so it’s so shocking to see someone so smart behave so stupidly. Absolutely refused to talk about anything he did that was hurting me.
What the narcissist fears most is loss of control over the emotional wellbeing of their companions. They have been shown up in their youth to be not as they present themselves, found to be wanting compassion, empathy and sympathy for those not as fortunate in looks or abilities. Many will will ape this behavior when young but grow out of it whereas the narcissist will persist. That's why they need validation at all times, to be reassured that they are indeed better than what has been proven to them to be their faults.
My ex covert narc did a smear campaign all over Facebook of me... I saw all of the comments and lies made and never said a word because he just wasn't worth it. After looking at all that crap once, I knew it was unhealthy to look again and I haven't. I saw somebody from his work months later who said he was still going on and on about me and everybody was getting really sick of it. So crazy! I had no idea adults could act so childish at almost 50 years old.
I am so happy without my former narccsist girlfriend since we broke up 4 months ago,will never go back into that truly awful relationship,don't have to hear her constant lies and cheating ways anymore,she has tried to contact me through texts which I have totally ignored,my advice to anyone who is with a narccsist is to leave as soon as you can and never look back ever,thank you for this vlog and keep safe and well always.
Actually filed for divorce twice in the past yr and retracted it. He assaulted me Dec 5th. 30 yrs married to a covert narcissist. I'm learning so much from these videos. I've been deathly ill for a decade and regaining my health
this is TRUE that is why as soon as you bring up the Truth of what is reality and it exposes them, they run away as fast as they can, hang up on you or quit talking to you, bam! exposure freaks them out so of course they do not want you to know anyone they know..............so they can tell them their version of "what is" and not be exposed. so totally true. this is why it's always "secret".........blessings!
So what I understand about Narcs is 3 stages of capture Idealisation Devalue Discard Once that is done They try to get you back by Hoovering Smear campaign Revenge
Me too! 12 years married to a covert & I didn't realize what he is until his brutal ass discard. Take good care of yourself, it's a very devastating realization ❤
They are children in a adults body ,they haven't matured I've got lots of stories.. Its like they've read how to be a narc Bible They all look different but act the same xx
Cause two or three or four, or perhaps five (like my ex Narcissist) is better than one. They're just like kids who needs more and more friend to playing together, bold the word KID, totally (sick) kid mentality
Thanks for this educational message. This will keep me invested into a healthy and fulfilling relationship choosing the right path. God bless you. Awesome. ❤❤
Mine betrayed me. I never would've done that. He didn't want me walking away in the beginning but its EXACTLY what I did in the end. Cheating is a deal breaker.
Or,..accuse you of cheating when you weren't,..then blame you for breaking the relationship 😂 I took the opportunity, & momentum even though it was heartbreaking..& freeing
My ex husband got a new supply asked for a divorce then fought me over the divorce. I got the divorce and moved to another state. We lived together until the day I left. He was furious that I left even though he had new supply that worshipped him. He actually thought the three of us would live together.
My ex Narcissist thought his 5 supply (include me) can playing together and he said he Will make me the "Queen" and another just a mistress. Lol so who are you, a king or something???? I'm done leaving 6 years stressful relationship. Just waste my time. They're get worse by age
@@foreveryoung6464 Wow! They absolutely do get worse with age. I knew mine since he was a teenager. We were married 37 years. He thought I would tolerate it but got a huge lesson!!! I’m so glad you got away. Now block him and change your phone number if you can.
I’m done with them sorry it’s draining and ruthless how they act and treat us I wish not to live this ever again everything I work so hard for I lost in 7 seconds dealing with one I became homeless and lost
I exposed my ex-narc, who also became a co-worker a year after we met, to a company Facebook page when I discovered her cheating. She had also stolen close to $10k from me, which I put in the post. I knew image was everything to her, so I buried her under her own lies to a place she could not hide from. She's now paying back what she stole to avoid a prison sentence. Feels amazing beating her at her own game!
Narccists did NOT have trauma during their childhood. They were massively spoiled and told they were special and no one else mattered. Stop enabling them by feeling sorry for them. Confront their behavior and force them to grow up.
I agree d Clark. Make it make sense! They treat you bad, throw you away like who does that and then they want you back to throw you away again! How long should you stay on their roller coaster with them?
There is an advantage to abandoning any self-absorbed, selfish narcissist. 😮 They bring so little ‘giving’ to the table of friendship that it’s hard for an Empath to actually miss them. 😂 Try to create an ‘narcissist free zone’ within your sphere of inner peace and influence because it is the formula for a happy life ❤Thank you,kiddo for the awesome videos that intimate healing 😊❤
My now ex left me to go to his other supply and I allowed him to come back. We had a home and children together and I so tried to make it work. Not when he wouldn’t go for counseling or work on the “marriage .” The only thing he would have truely lost was his kids and I allowed him to come back to try to be a family again. I couldn’t do it and left everyone behind. Regret, of course but my adult children knew what I was going thru and I had to do what was best for me! He had the other supply still there and now they are together. He made his kids upset again but they still talk to him even though he made his bed! May they live happily ever after😂 god bless!
I ended my relationship 6 weeks ago. Still co existing, we own a house together. Neither of us can move out. He was out seeing other women within 3 weeks! Been out on several dates, away overnight, constantly chatting to women. Put himself on strict diet, bought some trendy clothes (I’d been asking him to for a long time, but he never did). Constantly on WhatsApp. Like he’s got a steady stream of women already! Never gave me any reason to suspect he had cheated during our relationship. He’s not tried in the least to win me back. Promise to change etc. When I asked why he couldn’t have just waited he said he’s bored rigid sitting on his own. I’ve ended it so not to put it on him! They don’t all follow the same pattern.
Anoushka, HOLA HERMOSA from Mexico. I thank you for everything you have done for me helping me understand as a Super Empath in this world and learned to thrive.
He actually just blocked me yet again because I found out he wasn’t even dating the girl he said he was dating back when we split, he only used her to triangulate, as i suspected. . So he blocked me because I saw a pic of her and now he says he didn’t actually date her 🤣🤣🤣….. plus he got mad at me because I told him I don’t even care anymore…. So he blocked me everywhere…. I won’t lie I almost affected me … but ultimately.. I made it without him for 2 years so….. really what else’s is there for me to lose? :/ he doesn’t care either …why should I care
The 2 narcs I know closely, were loved and cherished as children, so don't think that's a complete explanation. I'm of the view there's a demonic energy at play, it's often palpable when you're around them.
Narcissism is a form or spiritual bondage. It is an imprisonment of the mind and flesh. I was married to a covert narc for 34 years and I can tell you the only thing that causes change is steady, sufficient pain. She treated our son like a piece of crap during his teenage years until she realized that he was going to write her off forever if SHE didn't start showing him some respect. That's my boy.
It is sad to know the truth that for all this years he never actually love me that’s it’s all about me and the things I do for him . Also knowing who he is and the disorders that wrap around within him I will never get the love that I want . And he will always be looking for someone .
The first big time I left my ex-narc very early in our short 6 mos relationship...long story. I was at the airport and called her. She begged me not to leave her. Pleaded. I canceled my flight and went back to her house, which was a couple of hours away. When I arrived, I found her passed out on the floor... two empty wine bottles.
Considering he is the one who raped me as a child the bond is deeply embedded in him. It took me 55 years to finally see what he was doing to my relationships with others. Once I broke the bond he became the aggressive bully he has always been then he cycled to how much he "loved" me again. Finally, I even cut all communication so he went to my other abusers for help. Now I'm getting "anomalous" gifts at my new address. Only he would be giving them and I called the fellow who owns the business and sure enough it was him. I need to get on with my new life so I have to use my new info publicly. Of course he is stalking me still and the other ones too. I won't live my life in fear so they better get the message. I will reveal it all in my memoirs whether they like it or not. They fear the power of my words, written or spoken. Remember, "You are only as sick as the secrets you keep." John Bradshaw on the family.
What about after discard? I had a covert narc try to get me fired a few weeks ago, now im not sure what her deal is. Sometimes she gives me mean looks, sometimes she looks like she wants to tackle me to floor and jump my bones. Its really weird. I havent been mean but i havent said a word to her since i came back to work. That first day she was fuming, then seemed defeated. Now she is trying to flaunt some new supply, he's really lame and she wouldnt give him the time of day when she was focused on me, I actually laughed at them the other day, couldnt help it. Just curious does this video apply after they tried to discard you in a really nasty way?
The message of their video is more about what they want and it’s always validation. It sounds to me like she wants your attention and to see if she can affect you in some way. I would say ignore her for a Couple of days and see how she reacts. It’s quite childish what she is doing Hope this helps 🙏🏼
I ended my relationship with my narcissistic ex 12 days ago and have stayed completely no-contact since then. She’s texted four or five times, saying she misses me and wants to see me, but I haven’t replied, not even once. I can sense that this is likely driving her crazy, and I wouldn't be surprised if she’s mistreating others in her life out of frustration, wondering why her "favorite supply" just left like that. When an empath and a Scorpio set boundaries, there’s no going back - and that’s the power of real strength and self-respect.
Is reposting tiktoks and retweeting tweets about how awful the ex ( me ) was considered smear campaign ? Some of them literally imply that i'm crazy and insane. I still can't tell if she has BPD or is a covert narcissist, breaks my heart every time I think about it, absolute zero contact for 3 months now despite all the online attacks directed towards me 😌 wonder if they tend to come back eventually ? Beause with the way they've been attacking me online, they know there is no coming back from that right ... right ? ...
Block them on your phone and all social media. When you block the attention and access to you, letting them know you don't care, they will crumble. And no, it's not a smear campaign revealing who they are. I don't include my ex's name nor direct anything at them. I spread awareness, so no one else with ignore the red flags and fall for these demons. Edit: Reading is fundamental. 🤦🏿♀️ After rereading, I see you were saying your narc ex was posting about you. That definitely is smear campaigning. I misunderstood that you were asking if you retweeted memes, were you smear campaigning. What I said is true, but for your narc ex to do this concerning you. Yes, it is.
It definitely is. Mine did the same thing and I suspect, three years later, she's still doing it. No, I don't think they feel as though these smears prevents them from getting you back. I've also experienced that firsthand.
@@stainless1175able yeah i learned the hard way that it's better to not even check after the first few times, no signs of remorse whatsoever, so it's better for my own mental health. in your case did they stick to no contact for 3 years and have not reached back ?
@@christophetang2084 We have kids so there is some contact but unless it's about the kids I don't reply. Something as little as trying to have small talk is hoovering in my book. Besides, every time she texts, there's lies in it.
@@stainless1175able damn, sorry to hear what you're going through with kids involved and everything, I guess i should feel grateful and lucky to realize how early this happened to me in my life.. (23yo) it'll get better with time ! ☺😇
Search videos for term "narcissist vs. borderline" I've seen at least one about the differences. There is some definite overlap between those styles of disorder.
Oh she won’t be coming back… I actually snapped and said mean things to her. I did apologized next morning but It was for a reason for what she did. I’m sure she won’t be reaching out to me anymore and I’m Happy about it.
here are 4 reasons why they do it. 1) for having "feelings of entitlement" 2) it gives them "feeling of superiority" 3) to get some sort of a "residual" 4) to "pay back"
Isn't it interesting and really ironic that a narcissist fears the rejection and abandonment of their own behavior and actions towards us is what we the real victims get from them?
Okay so when they were young they didn't get validated they didn't get love they got no attention So now when you give it to them what's the problem?.??
I believe there are narcissists out there. But i also believe when people are not happy in a relationship they are allowed to leave the relationship. Sometimes we do not want to accept the other person doesn't love us anymore
Im staying single after leaving the narcissist ,she is classic abuser who has to be in control at all times,im done after16 years with her,at 64 im staying single ,no more crazy women.
It’s been 4 months since I ended our relationship and went silent. I get a birthday card in the mail on my birthday with a $100 Gift Certificate to a restaurant we used to go to together ugh.
I realised, I exposed, I warned others about them, I did all these 3, and my ex know that I see through his game, that's a tactic i use to leave the relationship, tks to Anoushka for her channel that i am now more aware about narcissism. If you think you are trapped, couldnt find any excuse to leave, do these 3, I assure you the narc will run, if that's what you want
Isn't it ever, if I went to work, saw friends, saw family, she would punish me with silence, distance, disconnect. Several times over the relationship if I didn't do what she wanted she flipped and said if you don't then were over, one year at new years, bare in mind she told me I couldn't stay with her at the time, she was on the phone asking what I was doing, was I going out, was I seeing anyone, where was I going, I told her I'm not going anywhere becasue I thought I'd be spending new years with her but now I've settled at my parents and will spend it with them. She then said I should spend new years with the people I love. It was all so cryptic. Did she want me to go to hers ? Why did she keep phoning after saying I can't stay. In the end I said to my parents I think I should go to hers. So off I went. When I arrived she literally treated me like a stranger, I asked her what I've done wrong, should I leave. She then said don't leave, it was an awkward evening of disconnection. The following morning I said happy new year and put the kettle on. I asked if she was alright and did I do the right thing by coming over. She said if I hadn't the relationship would have been over. I tried so hard talking to her over months about I'm not a mind reader and she need to communicate better, and every time I did she would hijack the conversation with some pointless drama. I couldn't continue like this. It was like dating a child or someone very clever who knew exactly what she was doing. In 2 years I gave up my house for her, ended up living at my parents, lost 2 stone in weight, suffered hair loss, damaged relationships with friends and family. For her to give me more rules and commands. I couldn't do it anymore
It is somehow ironic that they don't have genuine respect or love for their supply, who they don't want to abandon them, yet they become resentful when that one moves on, not wanting anything to do with them. Everything is always about them.. 😢 How pathetic!
My ex narcissist friend wasn't happy a few days ago when i made kt clear that i wasn't happy about rhem being in touch. I ignored every reply back watching as they got madder and madder. Eventually he went on a rage about women and their dramas, how he has his/ had fill of it etc etc. i ignored them all. All of this because someone has been spreading lies about me to him which he has been repeating to a mutual friend, who told me that the lies were told to him which he totally denied and gas lighted me over. So apparently it's all my fault and i should just put up with the lies, he doesn't care etc etc. then he was trying guilt trips saying obviously contacting me was a mistake etc etc and how he would no longer talk to the mutual friend. It ended with him saying have a nice life, he has his own life to live and doesn't care etc
He never tried to make me stay and was always reverse hoover 6 times never again it was mostly me that ended it he did it twice I did it 5 times I’m done for good
I'm confused - I've just started learning about his topic after having to leave a full blown narcissist - are they malicious, or damaged? Or damaged in a way that makes them malicious? Do they hurt us involuntarily, or intentionally? It's hard or me to understand
I spoke with his ex, she told me the real story, not his version ( his version was a manipulation tactic ). I felt sick 🤢. I told h everything I knew. He told me he loves me, just to tell me the next day, that he has no time for a relationship. Just to punish me. And I had to do him a favour this day ( translation). He did so as nothing happened and I just tried to hold back my tears. These are monsters!!!! Really bad people. They suck the live out of you. They suck out the light and the shining!
I gave mine attention love validation over and over and over to only be discarded There is really no solution to these creatures When you find one walk the other way
I find it strange that narcs don't want to be abandoned or rejected, yet they do those things to others without hesitation. 🤔
Here's what my narcissistic sister did. I was living, temporarily, at her place but discovered her toxic narcissistic behaviour.( Didn't fully realise the narcissism at the time, but yes I learned a lot from this and other channels. ) I went and stayed with other family at one point for a few weeks, moving some of my belongings but not all of it yet. She must have been feeling exposed or rejected. That moment she changed the locks of her house so I couldn't get the rest of my belongings. Making it seem she's throwing me out. I think it gives her the illusion she's in control.
@@giespel68 Keep your head up and stay away! 🙏
It's usually a learned behavior earlier in childhood life that is past down from a parent who instills their Narcissistic Traits upon their children that causes them to become dependent on this type of learned abuse .
PS .
Makes me angry to know that this is done to innocent children .
( Our Own Creation ).
We all should be aware of what happens when The Historionic's of Global Generational Degradation in the world and its deliberate display of emotion for effect goes unnoticed and reaches its climax .
We enter the age of a Global Narcissism Epidemic .
Oh dear
Borderlines do it to, maybe even more so. It's so hard to recover from. They just don't appear to give a s**t and seem to take a perverse pleasure from hurting and smearing you to other people you both mutually know.
Speaking from experience,they fear exposure. They don't like you telling people what they are really like.
Just learnt that the hard way. They really fear being exposed!
@@Mdu-ys4yu I'm going through her smear campaign now.Had to block her number due to raging texts and threats.
They fear rejection or abandonment but its precisely their behaviour that drives away the person who is giving them the opposite of what they are scared will happen! Oh the irony 🤦♀️
Yes this is so true but the reason they do it is so that you don’t do it to them first
@@anoushkamarcin Wow! now isn't that something. if only they would surrender to the Love that God Almighty has for them. seems they are trapped in a terrible vicious cycle.
They think reciprocity is a place in a foreign country.
It can happen with borderlines too..
Its like bumping heads, but for different reasons, but same results. Anxious vs Avoidant attachment styles.
True, that. Co-workers can be narc bullies as well
Their biggest fear is that if you understand they can not pairbond with anyone...they are doomed
Yeah I agree but they love to give their followers, on social media, the impression that everything is Hunky Dory, a wedding picture of the blooming bride beaming with groom by her side springs to mind
It is wonderful to not have any dishonest people in my life anymore! I don't have to worry about what they are doing behind my back anymore!😅
😂😂😂❤
Me too! The relief is tremendous. The lies started on the very first date. Glad that relationship didn't last very long. Feels so good to be myself again, and happy.
@sabrinapetersen5358 Same here! I felt the same way when I walked away from my ex narc last nov. I'm happy You got away from such a toxic person!
Wrong, biggest fear is you becoming successful, and doing much better without them.
I agree with this. It’s so nice not hearing how bad everyone else is doing… which is about all she used to talk about. And was all complete nonsense. Is just what she wanted…
❤ 😂 true as SUN/Death
Yes this is also a fear of theirs … didn’t include that one 😮
That’s why I’m in the process of doing exactly that!!
I think they couldn´t care less. Because it was never about you in person. It was about using you as a supply (object). I personally don´t even think they think about that. They only think they miss is using you. But for yourself it is good to become successful and live your life you want. You deserve that. ...
Any time they think its gonna end they panic. They'll even abuse you as an attempt to get you to stay. Once they feel like you are staying, they switch back to indifference. Trust me, they resent you for their fear of abandonment. They hate that you have this power over them
Omg yeeees. He did this all the time to me. I ended up leaving anyway
This is exactly what she did
I discarded the narcissist. He did a very bad thing to me as these narcs do and he must be living in fear of me exposing that and him. Hence the hoover attempts. At the end of the day when you meet the narcissist you actually fall in love with you. The whole relationship is a fake game with smoke and mirrors. You have to stop playing the game. The survivor had the power the whole time. They just temporarily handed that power and control to the narcissist. You can take it back! You can walk away. You can heal, grow and elevate. They can’t. They are stuck in the low vibrational quagmire they dragged you down to. It does get better. Let them live in fear. It’s no less than they deserve.
So true, and so well said. This is exactly what happened to me too. Glad it's over.
Orrr.. if you rejected them and caused “too much pain” that they want you to feel the same. If you realised who they are and they know you know to a certain extend or even completely understand what’s going on. They’re not happy with you living your best life without them or see you for who they truly are. Because they think “how dare you” not beg for me to be part of my life. So sometimes they come back just out of revenge, it’s not only just heal their injury. But simply to finish you, if you out play them. But no contact folks always winnsss🤫😎
You are very very right in all you said!!
I have a rejected sociopathic stalker. Im suffering mental and physical issues and was in my own world when she made advances on me I brutally rejected her multiple times and she quit her job to in person stalk me. Its like a horror movie and these people are demons.
Spot on for me! Revenge experienced
Yes. I was discarded in June Bc he had another piece of trash for 7 months at the same time as me. I was with him for 6 years. I never knew he was a narc! So I found out about the new supply and texted him telling him I knew. And that he was a compulsive cheater and liar. He immediately blocked me. I’m going to send the new supply a thank you card soon. 🙏🏼
She saved your life. Imagine if you stayed hostage in that shithole for many more decades. You're free! Stay free!🎉🎉🎉
The new supply may not know about you. maybe let her know what you went through. That would be revenge best served cold on ur ex
Mine also had a piece of trash as well...
He conveniently forgot to tell me that he was still legally married. All heck broke loose when I realized it and did some research finding out there was no divorce, even have my lawyer look into it and they found no divorce, and even after confronting him he's still refused to tell the truth. Because I outed him so badly, he started a smear campaign against me that went on for months and months. I never said one word at all and I never will if I ever happen to run into the jerk again.
I honestly wish I didn't let her know that I know. I would always call my narc ex out on what she did, but I didn't know about narcissism. Now that I know, I can never see her the same. I know I scared her away for good. She told me that I trigger her too much. I understand that she is not good for me, but I am truly hurt and sad that I will probably never see or talk to her again. I knew she had trauma from her childhood and I really tried to help. I loved her the best that I could.
You just told my story.... Big hugs to you and I speak love and happiness in the healthiest way possible over you ❤️
@tarotmafia Thank you. I am really struggling. She has a kid that I had gotten really close to. I taught her kid how to ride a bike. I used to take her kid to school every morning and pick them up as if they were my own. For me to know that I can easily be forgotten and that I was never loved is heartbreaking. It's hard for me to accept.
Wow - you have described my same situation! My narcissistic partner also states that I trigger her too much and now feels uncomfortable communicating with me. However I am fully aware that her response is due to being unmasked and exposed of the truth. The truth that has exposed her abuse cycle, and therefore has triggered the narcissistic injury. I now accept that she has a delusional self image of being a nice person, when in fact she is dysregulated, manipulative and toxic. She is wrapped up in wall of mirrors and she is selective in how she sees herself, and how she wants others to see her. I wanted and hope she would do the inner/self-therapy work to change in a more healthier way, because i also was empathic to her childhood trauma issues, but despite my love, support and patience, she became progressively worse and resentful. It appears me exposing her has regretably caused too much damage and now she has discarded and devalued our relationship. In the end her behavior and communication style had become too toxic to not call it out. I just wanted her to take some accountability in the hope she would develop to a better person. It's not easy to deal with fallout repercussions and it's very enegry draining. It's felt like a game of mental chess!
I’m currently sort of dating a narcissist. And I like her a lot. I play the “hot and cold” game with her and it draws her closer to me. Trust me… I can expose her and make her feel uncomfortable but I have empathy.
It's crazy before I discovered she was a narcissist her behavior never really bothered me. I.jus looked at her as a kid having a tantrum. Once I discovered she was a narcissist everything changed. It affected my nervous system.
The one I have (my mother) threatens to throw me out of the house like every six months for the last 10 years. N guess what…..the last time she said that to me was about two weeks ago n that will be the last time because she doesn’t scare me anymore. I’m so done with her. Now I’m just getting my plans together to save money and get the hell out of this nut house n never look back….stay strong everyone. Peace and love ❤❤❤
Oh bless you I’m sorry this is happening. But you will do it whatever you out your mind to, you will achieve 🎉
i went thru many years of that. i used to be out at 12, 13 years old wandering for days. they dont care. my father blames me for my own existence. make that make sense. they are evil. our torture is a game to them. sorry ur goin thru that 💔
Get your ducks in a row, and work hard to never depend on her for anything ever again. And if the abuse continues (and it will), adjust and find a resolution to the new tactics she will employ. If it continues or if you find it necessary for your own peace and health, just go full no contact. Good luck. I'm on a similar journey. They never stop. They just change their tactical approach. 😕
@@lynx70123 I hear ya n oh my plan is in motion. I know it’ll take a lil time but I’m ok with that. Ya know, for them, it’s really a sad sorry life to live that way. I’m so glad glad I’m not like that. Try n think of it that way and maybe it’ll help you a bit. Also, I learned that they’re there to teach us a lesson in a way. We’re strong enough to prevail. Good luck and keep smiling 😊 peace and love ❤️
What narcissists fear the most? I think it is the truth about how narcissist really thinks about you and that they don't want anyone to know what goes on in their devious minds and Unscrupulous thoughts!
She said we should be friends for the second time. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Righteously ghosted.
IF they would come back, then it would happen only for validation. Because they had triggered to become abandoned in your former relationship, they did't care, they think they are the greatest on earth. Also it could happen that they will leave you, only for revenge.
That’s right they will only come back for validation and nothing more 😮
@@anoushkamarcin Thank you so much, you are helping so much people to understand what is going on with a toxic partner. Unfortunately high empathic people have to learn to see the first signs of toxicity. I have problems to trust someone, but of course, it was my own fault. I agreed in former times to such partners with really narcistic character, I had not enough self esteem. I was so flashed about the appearance and charisma and was so fascinated about breadcrumps of kindness, that it got a problem for me. For luck I ended the short affair, but it hurts a long time after. Until now, I am wondering, WHY I had been soooo blind? Why didn´t I say: No, I don´t want you? I must say, I had seen the signs but didn´t believe my inner self.
Biggest fear of them is.... "Is this person also trying to manipulate me?"
He did say this a lot, meanwhile he was the one manipulating me.
I don't understand why they play mind games and act atrociously just to keep you from leaving, when they can treat you well which is more likely to make you stay...
Right!!!! Like, just treat me with respect and love me, and I'll stay. It's LITERALLY 1+1= 2 logic.
They don’t have the normal logic as they are broken from childhood
They play trauma bonding, wish the victim always fear of abandoned by them cause they think they're so fuc*in' special and we're so lucky to have them. Unfortunately they're not that "special" and the normal people Will leave them straight with their bad behavior (manipulating, cheating, gashlighting, etc...). They're SICK people who think they're GOD or something equal...😂
@@Lilithien-em1xqYES!!!! My god it is so frustrating. The whole thing is so twisted. WTF happened to them to think like this????? My narc was very intelligent so it’s so shocking to see someone so smart behave so stupidly. Absolutely refused to talk about anything he did that was hurting me.
The thing they fear is you telling everyone else they are Covert narcissistic.
What the narcissist fears most is loss of control over the emotional wellbeing of their companions. They have been shown up in their youth to be not as they present themselves, found to be wanting compassion, empathy and sympathy for those not as fortunate in looks or abilities. Many will will ape this behavior when young but grow out of it whereas the narcissist will persist. That's why they need validation at all times, to be reassured that they are indeed better than what has been proven to them to be their faults.
My ex covert narc did a smear campaign all over Facebook of me... I saw all of the comments and lies made and never said a word because he just wasn't worth it. After looking at all that crap once, I knew it was unhealthy to look again and I haven't. I saw somebody from his work months later who said he was still going on and on about me and everybody was getting really sick of it. So crazy! I had no idea adults could act so childish at almost 50 years old.
Try almost 60 too! And I went nope, if you're almost that age forget it they'll never change. They should know better by then!
Abd you didn't sue?😢
I am so happy without my former narccsist girlfriend since we broke up 4 months ago,will never go back into that truly awful relationship,don't have to hear her constant lies and cheating ways anymore,she has tried to contact me through texts which I have totally ignored,my advice to anyone who is with a narccsist is to leave as soon as you can and never look back ever,thank you for this vlog and keep safe and well always.
7:40 7:40 7:40
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Mine didn't prevent me from leaving at all. But of course hoovered, then ghosted me 9 months later. They wanted the last ditch........and they got it.
It’s all about power and mind games. Glad your out of it now 💪🏽
VERY true!
Actually filed for divorce twice in the past yr and retracted it. He assaulted me Dec 5th. 30 yrs married to a covert narcissist. I'm learning so much from these videos. I've been deathly ill for a decade and regaining my health
For God's sake! We ALL had bad childhoods! We grow and let go. of being childish about our childhoods. Move on, narcissists.
Outstanding presentation !!!
Wow!!! Did not see that coming. The narcissist is exposed as vulnerable and why. Good one. 🙂👍
this is TRUE that is why as soon as you bring up the Truth of what is reality and it exposes them, they run away as fast as they can, hang up on you or quit talking to you, bam! exposure freaks them out so of course they do not want you to know anyone they know..............so they can tell them their version of "what is" and not be exposed. so totally true. this is why it's always "secret".........blessings!
From what I understand narcissism has no cure.
So what I understand about Narcs is
3 stages of capture
Idealisation
Devalue
Discard
Once that is done
They try to get you back by
Hoovering
Smear campaign
Revenge
Narcissist Represents Everything That Is Negative
God, I'm just waking up to this after 12 years...😢
Me too! 12 years married to a covert & I didn't realize what he is until his brutal ass discard. Take good care of yourself, it's a very devastating realization ❤
I think she tried to change myself to make myself like her
They are children in a adults body ,they haven't matured I've got lots of stories.. Its like they've read how to be a narc Bible They all look different but act the same xx
“every person they meet they have to get them to like them” the penny dropped right there for me , was her to a tee👌 and now it all makes sense ❤
But how do they not want you to leave, if you are a “ex-supply”? As a ex-supply you already don’t have any contact with the narcissist anymore.
Cause two or three or four, or perhaps five (like my ex Narcissist) is better than one. They're just like kids who needs more and more friend to playing together, bold the word KID, totally (sick) kid mentality
Thanks for this educational message. This will keep me invested into a healthy and fulfilling relationship choosing the right path. God bless you. Awesome. ❤❤
Thank you 🙏🏼 and so glad the video has helped 😊
You inner explanations of their psychology is better than other videos. You make it seem human.
Please please remember not all narcissists are romantic partners, mine are family 😢
Mine betrayed me. I never would've done that. He didn't want me walking away in the beginning but its EXACTLY what I did in the end. Cheating is a deal breaker.
Or,..accuse you of cheating when you weren't,..then blame you for breaking the relationship 😂 I took the opportunity, & momentum even though it was heartbreaking..& freeing
It's their main thing - they cannot let things or people go, hoovering is so strong and just never ending, until we don't stop it ourselves.
My ex husband got a new supply asked for a divorce then fought me over the divorce. I got the divorce and moved to another state. We lived together until the day I left. He was furious that I left even though he had new supply that worshipped him. He actually thought the three of us would live together.
That just proves how delusional he was or is. You got away🎉
My ex Narcissist thought his 5 supply (include me) can playing together and he said he Will make me the "Queen" and another just a mistress. Lol so who are you, a king or something???? I'm done leaving 6 years stressful relationship. Just waste my time. They're get worse by age
@@foreveryoung6464 Wow! They absolutely do get worse with age. I knew mine since he was a teenager. We were married 37 years. He thought I would tolerate it but got a huge lesson!!! I’m so glad you got away. Now block him and change your phone number if you can.
I’m done with them sorry it’s draining and ruthless how they act and treat us I wish not to live this ever again everything I work so hard for I lost in 7 seconds dealing with one I became homeless and lost
I needed this, and I understand now! Thank you!
They take our energy and they look good and glowy, while we age and get major health issues..
@LoveEndures7 So very true!
Anoushka, your makeup looks really good in this video. And you have beautiful blue eyes. 😉
Thanks for all your videos. They've helped me a lot.
I exposed my ex-narc, who also became a co-worker a year after we met, to a company Facebook page when I discovered her cheating. She had also stolen close to $10k from me, which I put in the post. I knew image was everything to her, so I buried her under her own lies to a place she could not hide from. She's now paying back what she stole to avoid a prison sentence. Feels amazing beating her at her own game!
Narccists did NOT have trauma during their childhood. They were massively spoiled and told they were special and no one else mattered. Stop enabling them by feeling sorry for them. Confront their behavior and force them to grow up.
The one I know sure as hell wasn’t spoiled.Then the other one I know was spoiled so you stop.Obviously it can be either or geeze
I agree d Clark. Make it make sense! They treat you bad, throw you away like who does that and then they want you back to throw you away again! How long should you stay on their roller coaster with them?
There is an advantage to abandoning any self-absorbed, selfish narcissist. 😮 They bring so little ‘giving’ to the table of friendship that it’s hard for an Empath to actually miss them. 😂 Try to create an ‘narcissist free zone’ within your sphere of inner peace and influence because it is the formula for a happy life ❤Thank you,kiddo for the awesome videos that intimate healing 😊❤
My now ex left me to go to his other supply and I allowed him to come back. We had a home and children together and I so tried to make it work.
Not when he wouldn’t go for counseling or work on the “marriage .” The only thing he would have truely lost was his kids and I allowed him to come back to try to be a family again.
I couldn’t do it and left everyone behind. Regret, of course but my adult children knew what I was going thru and I had to do what was best for me!
He had the other supply still there and now they are together.
He made his kids upset again but they still talk to him even though he made his bed! May they live happily ever after😂 god bless!
3, then , I was done
I agree, she didn't think I would.
Haven't looked back.
You're absolutely right ✅🎯🔥💪👏👊
I ended my relationship 6 weeks ago. Still co existing, we own a house together. Neither of us can move out. He was out seeing other women within 3 weeks! Been out on several dates, away overnight, constantly chatting to women. Put himself on strict diet, bought some trendy clothes (I’d been asking him to for a long time, but he never did). Constantly on WhatsApp. Like he’s got a steady stream of women already! Never gave me any reason to suspect he had cheated during our relationship. He’s not tried in the least to win me back. Promise to change etc. When I asked why he couldn’t have just waited he said he’s bored rigid sitting on his own. I’ve ended it so not to put it on him! They don’t all follow the same pattern.
Anoushka, HOLA HERMOSA from Mexico. I thank you for everything you have done for me helping me understand as a Super Empath in this world and learned to thrive.
He actually just blocked me yet again because I found out he wasn’t even dating the girl he said he was dating back when we split, he only used her to triangulate, as i suspected. . So he blocked me because I saw a pic of her and now he says he didn’t actually date her 🤣🤣🤣….. plus he got mad at me because I told him I don’t even care anymore…. So he blocked me everywhere…. I won’t lie I almost affected me … but ultimately.. I made it without him for 2 years so….. really what else’s is there for me to lose? :/ he doesn’t care either …why should I care
So can relate 😢
The 2 narcs I know closely, were loved and cherished as children, so don't think that's a complete explanation. I'm of the view there's a demonic energy at play, it's often palpable when you're around them.
Narcissism is a form or spiritual bondage. It is an imprisonment of the mind and flesh. I was married to a covert narc for 34 years and I can tell you the only thing that causes change is steady, sufficient pain. She treated our son like a piece of crap during his teenage years until she realized that he was going to write her off forever if SHE didn't start showing him some respect. That's my boy.
100% True.
They fear that they will be exposed.
It's like they're lost... Good point, I've gota go to work but will get into this later, very good point
It is sad to know the truth that for all this years he never actually love me that’s it’s all about me and the things I do for him . Also knowing who he is and the disorders that wrap around within him I will never get the love that I want . And he will always be looking for someone .
That is what makes them narcissistic,.
They fear exposure guys.
The first big time I left my ex-narc very early in our short 6 mos relationship...long story. I was at the airport and called her. She begged me not to leave her. Pleaded. I canceled my flight and went back to her house, which was a couple of hours away. When I arrived, I found her passed out on the floor... two empty wine bottles.
I'm stuck I'm 7 months since I kicked her out went no contact. I'm trying but I've lost all hope feel like my life's over.
They may know what they are doing and now we know we can't change them. They need to be accepted where they are and not take on their drama and abuse.
Considering he is the one who raped me as a child the bond is deeply embedded in him. It took me 55 years to finally see what he was doing to my relationships with others. Once I broke the bond he became the aggressive bully he has always been then he cycled to how much he "loved" me again. Finally, I even cut all communication so he went to my other abusers for help. Now I'm getting "anomalous" gifts at my new address. Only he would be giving them and I called the fellow who owns the business and sure enough it was him. I need to get on with my new life so I have to use my new info publicly. Of course he is stalking me still and the other ones too. I won't live my life in fear so they better get the message. I will reveal it all in my memoirs whether they like it or not. They fear the power of my words, written or spoken. Remember, "You are only as sick as the secrets you keep." John Bradshaw on the family.
I'm so proud of your courageous stance!
What about after discard? I had a covert narc try to get me fired a few weeks ago, now im not sure what her deal is. Sometimes she gives me mean looks, sometimes she looks like she wants to tackle me to floor and jump my bones. Its really weird. I havent been mean but i havent said a word to her since i came back to work. That first day she was fuming, then seemed defeated. Now she is trying to flaunt some new supply, he's really lame and she wouldnt give him the time of day when she was focused on me, I actually laughed at them the other day, couldnt help it. Just curious does this video apply after they tried to discard you in a really nasty way?
The message of their video is more about what they want and it’s always validation. It sounds to me like she wants your attention and to see if she can affect you in some way. I would say ignore her for a
Couple of days and see how she reacts.
It’s quite childish what she is doing
Hope this helps 🙏🏼
Thank you.💛💛
I ended my relationship with my narcissistic ex 12 days ago and have stayed completely no-contact since then. She’s texted four or five times, saying she misses me and wants to see me, but I haven’t replied, not even once. I can sense that this is likely driving her crazy, and I wouldn't be surprised if she’s mistreating others in her life out of frustration, wondering why her "favorite supply" just left like that. When an empath and a Scorpio set boundaries, there’s no going back - and that’s the power of real strength and self-respect.
How is she's able to text you if you're completely no contact? Not responding but getting a buzz from her contacting you is not no contact.
How is she's able to text you if you're completely no contact? Not responding but getting a buzz from her contacting you is not no contact.
Is reposting tiktoks and retweeting tweets about how awful the ex ( me ) was considered smear campaign ? Some of them literally imply that i'm crazy and insane. I still can't tell if she has BPD or is a covert narcissist, breaks my heart every time I think about it, absolute zero contact for 3 months now despite all the online attacks directed towards me 😌 wonder if they tend to come back eventually ? Beause with the way they've been attacking me online, they know there is no coming back from that right ... right ? ...
Block them on your phone and all social media. When you block the attention and access to you, letting them know you don't care, they will crumble.
And no, it's not a smear campaign revealing who they are. I don't include my ex's name nor direct anything at them. I spread awareness, so no one else with ignore the red flags and fall for these demons.
Edit: Reading is fundamental. 🤦🏿♀️ After rereading, I see you were saying your narc ex was posting about you. That definitely is smear campaigning. I misunderstood that you were asking if you retweeted memes, were you smear campaigning. What I said is true, but for your narc ex to do this concerning you. Yes, it is.
It definitely is. Mine did the same thing and I suspect, three years later, she's still doing it. No, I don't think they feel as though these smears prevents them from getting you back. I've also experienced that firsthand.
@@stainless1175able yeah i learned the hard way that it's better to not even check after the first few times, no signs of remorse whatsoever, so it's better for my own mental health. in your case did they stick to no contact for 3 years and have not reached back ?
@@christophetang2084 We have kids so there is some contact but unless it's about the kids I don't reply. Something as little as trying to have small talk is hoovering in my book. Besides, every time she texts, there's lies in it.
@@stainless1175able damn, sorry to hear what you're going through with kids involved and everything, I guess i should feel grateful and lucky to realize how early this happened to me in my life.. (23yo) it'll get better with time ! ☺😇
What’s the difference between a narcissist or someone with borderline personality disorder?
Search videos for term "narcissist vs. borderline" I've seen at least one about the differences. There is some definite overlap between those styles of disorder.
Oh she won’t be coming back… I actually snapped and said mean things to her. I did apologized next morning but It was for a reason for what she did. I’m sure she won’t be reaching out to me anymore and I’m
Happy about it.
Interesting. My ex-wife had abandonment issues with her family from childhood. I can see how this probably influenced what happened with us later.
here are 4 reasons why they do it.
1) for having "feelings of entitlement"
2) it gives them "feeling of superiority"
3) to get some sort of a "residual"
4) to "pay back"
Isn't it interesting and really ironic that a narcissist fears the rejection and abandonment of their own behavior and actions towards us is what we the real victims get from them?
If they dont want you to leave, why do they act so surprised when we do?
Who is the top supply? Who they present by friends and family?
Okay so when they were young they didn't get validated they didn't get love they got no attention
So now when you give it to them what's the problem?.??
I believe there are narcissists out there. But i also believe when people are not happy in a relationship they are allowed to leave the relationship. Sometimes we do not want to accept the other person doesn't love us anymore
They want to be validated, but they don't want to be seen.
Dude me too lost my house my car my life all within 2 years
She came into my life like magic and left me in hell
or if go Cold Rock, they'll pick a fight or arguement to get you to engage. They Love to see you in a frenzy, its a game to them.
Im staying single after leaving the narcissist ,she is classic abuser who has to be in control at all times,im done after16 years with her,at 64 im staying single ,no more crazy women.
I hear you. 61 and soon to be single.
And they do all they can to make us leave them! Ironing
It’s been 4 months since I ended our relationship and went silent. I get a birthday card in the mail on my birthday with a $100 Gift Certificate to a restaurant we used to go to together ugh.
I realised, I exposed, I warned others about them, I did all these 3, and my ex know that I see through his game, that's a tactic i use to leave the relationship, tks to Anoushka for her channel that i am now more aware about narcissism. If you think you are trapped, couldnt find any excuse to leave, do these 3, I assure you the narc will run, if that's what you want
Isn't it ever, if I went to work, saw friends, saw family, she would punish me with silence, distance, disconnect. Several times over the relationship if I didn't do what she wanted she flipped and said if you don't then were over, one year at new years, bare in mind she told me I couldn't stay with her at the time, she was on the phone asking what I was doing, was I going out, was I seeing anyone, where was I going, I told her I'm not going anywhere becasue I thought I'd be spending new years with her but now I've settled at my parents and will spend it with them. She then said I should spend new years with the people I love. It was all so cryptic. Did she want me to go to hers ? Why did she keep phoning after saying I can't stay. In the end I said to my parents I think I should go to hers. So off I went. When I arrived she literally treated me like a stranger, I asked her what I've done wrong, should I leave. She then said don't leave, it was an awkward evening of disconnection. The following morning I said happy new year and put the kettle on. I asked if she was alright and did I do the right thing by coming over. She said if I hadn't the relationship would have been over. I tried so hard talking to her over months about I'm not a mind reader and she need to communicate better, and every time I did she would hijack the conversation with some pointless drama. I couldn't continue like this. It was like dating a child or someone very clever who knew exactly what she was doing. In 2 years I gave up my house for her, ended up living at my parents, lost 2 stone in weight, suffered hair loss, damaged relationships with friends and family. For her to give me more rules and commands. I couldn't do it anymore
good stuff. - thanks
It is somehow ironic that they don't have genuine respect or love for their supply, who they don't want to abandon them, yet they become resentful when that one moves on, not wanting anything to do with them. Everything is always about them.. 😢 How pathetic!
My ex narcissist friend wasn't happy a few days ago when i made kt clear that i wasn't happy about rhem being in touch. I ignored every reply back watching as they got madder and madder. Eventually he went on a rage about women and their dramas, how he has his/ had fill of it etc etc. i ignored them all.
All of this because someone has been spreading lies about me to him which he has been repeating to a mutual friend, who told me that the lies were told to him which he totally denied and gas lighted me over. So apparently it's all my fault and i should just put up with the lies, he doesn't care etc etc. then he was trying guilt trips saying obviously contacting me was a mistake etc etc and how he would no longer talk to the mutual friend. It ended with him saying have a nice life, he has his own life to live and doesn't care etc
He never tried to make me stay and was always reverse hoover 6 times never again it was mostly me that ended it he did it twice I did it 5 times I’m done for good
I'm confused - I've just started learning about his topic after having to leave a full blown narcissist - are they malicious, or damaged? Or damaged in a way that makes them malicious? Do they hurt us involuntarily, or intentionally? It's hard or me to understand
THEY FEAR BEING OUTTED..
Exposure. They fear.
i thought it was what the supply learned and can tell about him, on his bad behaviors.
So they can still come back after you exposed them and a long time has gone by?
I spoke with his ex, she told me the real story, not his version ( his version was a manipulation tactic ). I felt sick 🤢. I told h everything I knew. He told me he loves me, just to tell me the next day, that he has no time for a relationship. Just to punish me. And I had to do him a favour this day ( translation). He did so as nothing happened and I just tried to hold back my tears. These are monsters!!!! Really bad people. They suck the live out of you. They suck out the light and the shining!
What happens if you’ve been discarded for new supply because you challenged them? Was that the final discard??
I gave mine attention love validation over and over and over to only be discarded
There is really no solution to these creatures
When you find one walk the other way