To date or not to date! | Single and Ready

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  • Опубліковано 3 лют 2025

КОМЕНТАРІ • 162

  • @CarmenLifeCoach
    @CarmenLifeCoach 3 роки тому +141

    There are things that get better in time but a person's bad character or poor mindset isn't one of them. If from the very first date you notice traits you definitely don't like, don't allow your loneliness and wish to be loved push you into making mistakes like giving it a try hoping they will improve in time. If they can't get you to like and admire them in the beginning when everybody is on their best behaviour and showing their best side, imagine how they will be later on. The things you sweep under the rug, you end up tripping over.

    • @irlandaise5631
      @irlandaise5631 3 роки тому +5

      ..I dont date really..but I notice traits like they cut you off several times and dont let you talk in details..or dont want to hear your thoughts on what they say!! so many men like that approached me recently..and you actually feel lonely with this..the conversation was off..and even women too..thank god I still have one friend who can let me talk..he also talks a lot but he d let me talk..

    • @mikas2609
      @mikas2609 3 роки тому

      Excellent advice. Thanks!

  • @Dr.Elaine1
    @Dr.Elaine1 3 роки тому +62

    “If you’re pleasing everybody, you won’t be pleasing yourself.” TG

  • @CarmenLifeCoach
    @CarmenLifeCoach 3 роки тому +77

    A man has to convince you by his best behavior and actions to stop being single and be in a relationship with him. If you are not convinced from the beginning there is something worth it in there, then there surely isn't and you are about to lose a lot of time and feelings building a relationship by yourself, explaining the ABCs of love, care and respect to someone who will not feel the instinctual need to offer you quality time together, flowers, gifts or prove his love to you because he is not the right one for you. And that feels a lot more lonely and sad than being single. "Ain't nobody got time" for raising grown boys.

    • @irlandaise5631
      @irlandaise5631 3 роки тому +4

      oui..he needs to make you feel secure..I feel secure and safe alone..but in contact with some men..I feel insecure because they dont acknowledge how I feel or let me express myself..I realise this is why im single for years..few men approached me and right away they wouldnt want to hear me out..something was off..

    • @marilynking527
      @marilynking527 3 роки тому

      🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾

    • @winblessed1357
      @winblessed1357 3 роки тому

      Word 👏🙌

    • @jessitabonita
      @jessitabonita 2 роки тому

      🥺💛
      Bless you and thank you SO much for taking time out of your day months ago to help a woman like me facing this dilemma right now. I truly appreciate your encouragement and wisdom to not think and behave out of loneliness and desperation.

  • @topazgraham2643
    @topazgraham2643 3 роки тому +46

    Tony, a-lot of these men don’t even get a second date. They just looking to sleep with you. That’s why I agree with you in reference to paying for your own date.

  • @aliciawoods8925
    @aliciawoods8925 3 роки тому +52

    I feel called out about the ghosting part, and I realized that it is disrespectful even if I feel like I was wronged by the man. I can at least explain myself in a respectful way before I cut it off. Moving forward, I will be more mindful of my actions. I don’t want to be that savage of a woman, that’s not who I am.

    • @Ms.J.
      @Ms.J. 3 роки тому +5

      I can relate....🤦🏽‍♀️

    • @ameliabeneby2981
      @ameliabeneby2981 3 роки тому +12

      I totally agree. Ghosting is something I need to work on. The reason I ghost is because when I express myself again and again and again and it falls on deaf ears……they don’t deserve a goodbye. I’ve said all I could say.

    • @blakstarrdiamond6869
      @blakstarrdiamond6869 3 роки тому +2

      Me as well. Didn't realize that til now

    • @irlandaise5631
      @irlandaise5631 3 роки тому

      I agree.but only if a man actually bothers talking to you/ I have a friend im the one to contact him each time..and he says yes.but this time he contacts me first to tell me he cant..the conversation is off when we meet..nothing much to talk about and he is not interested...I feel like not contacting him again..I wouldnt say it is ghosting...if a man tries to contact you and is clear and honest and you dont reply..then it is..

    • @irlandaise5631
      @irlandaise5631 3 роки тому +1

      @@ameliabeneby2981 yeah but then thats different ..I was ghosted by a man..but I was clear to him and he simply didnt tell me yes or no or his thoughts...about whether he liked me too and wanted marriage...

  • @Mekia-hr8qh
    @Mekia-hr8qh 3 роки тому +50

    I’ll just stay single until God sends them. These games men play I’m not even putting myself in those situations. I’m at a point in my life where I have nothing broken nothing missing. I’m so glad I love myself and God enough to where I’m ok until my time comes.

  • @veroniquebakas1896
    @veroniquebakas1896 3 роки тому +23

    That makes so much sense. Jesus said don't make family with other nations. I get it now. Having different beliefs is dangerous. If you are a bible believer.

  • @nikkinanette8807
    @nikkinanette8807 3 роки тому +7

    I'm glad you mentioned having enough respect to severe ties amicably. An advice to ghost someone was the most overwhelming decision I've ever made. Communication is the best route.

  • @veronicajones6351
    @veronicajones6351 3 роки тому +4

    "They feel a ghost 👻 on yah" 🤣🤣😂😂😂God Bless you Tony I love your content. You teach me and have me rollin.

  • @socialdistancingon8333
    @socialdistancingon8333 3 роки тому +11

    I'm glad Mr. Gaskins will be doing this by different age groups, because (in my opinion) if you're around the age of 40 and you meet someone still selling in the streets, that should be an automatic "no", even though the information is helpful for the younger crowd.
    Once you reach your 40's, some things should just not be acceptable. You should have already learnt certain things by then.

  • @patriciaworford6220
    @patriciaworford6220 3 роки тому +29

    Hi Mr. Gaskins. We appreciate you.

  • @CaramelKissez
    @CaramelKissez 3 роки тому +10

    Happy Monday blessed tribe!

  • @growordestruct
    @growordestruct 3 роки тому +5

    This is soooo true!! My last relat I went in clueless and didn't want to judge him. I became blind to the red flags bc I had no standards in place and I toured where Satan lives for 7 yrs. I can own I did everything wrong from the start!! I just met a new guy and I feel ready and prepared bc of your videos and advice. I healed & got the new knowledge. Without it I'm sure i would be making the same mistakes over & over.

  • @liahknowsbest5092
    @liahknowsbest5092 3 роки тому +8

    I'm backdating and I'm noticing the men I've come across are passive with communicating. Some men do ghost and love bombs a lot. I have been working on myself being open and honest with people. Now that I see how I use to be I'm able to verbalize my needs better. Thanks Tony for sharing 👏🏾👏🏾

  • @tdm8797
    @tdm8797 3 роки тому +11

    I'm here, listening 👂🏽 and taking notes 📝. Thank you TG.

  • @quinninwithquin
    @quinninwithquin 3 роки тому +7

    This was on point! Confirmation for me too! Just had this happened yesterday and me and the guy had mutual respect for the deal breaker. He totally understood and wants to work harder on quitting cigarettes. He appreciated the honesty. No love lost. Blessings!

  • @avenuesofwisdom8064
    @avenuesofwisdom8064 3 роки тому +10

    Thank you Tony for your wisdom!

  • @mstiffthaboss9194
    @mstiffthaboss9194 3 роки тому +24

    I am definitely rethinking this dating scene the men are definitely different it's sad

    • @childofgodskingdom8403
      @childofgodskingdom8403 3 роки тому +1

      AGREE

    • @mstiffthaboss9194
      @mstiffthaboss9194 3 роки тому +2

      @@childofgodskingdom8403 I just met a guy recently in his 40's he asked if he could come see mind you I just met him two days ago I told him no I don't invite people I just met to my house. So I asked would you like to go eat or something he said he didn't have the funds which ok I get it people have Bill's but then he asked did I want to go to the park in 105 degrees I said no I'm like how old are we yea I give up on dating if it's going to be like this 😂😂😂🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

    • @childofgodskingdom8403
      @childofgodskingdom8403 3 роки тому +3

      @@mstiffthaboss9194 Exactly!! I know people expect us women to have a man but in these days it's strange and difficult to settle for non sense dating JUST TO SAY YOU GOT A GROWN BOY AS A MAN I'm so confused about why will society be teaching this behavior like women is not the PRIZE it's a serious problem if we are going around putting value tickets on mess. I feel you. The same thing happened to me too. He got mad when I told him NO, he has not asked me out on a date the movie and restaurants are back open.

    • @mstiffthaboss9194
      @mstiffthaboss9194 3 роки тому

      @@LA-wv7gf Exactly 😂😂😂

  • @sharonbenjamin9310
    @sharonbenjamin9310 3 роки тому +4

    I've learned to take more time in the beginning stage of a social connection to observe a lady's character before I allow myself to become connected to her on a long-term term basis. I am no longer willing to waste time dating for sport or entertainment. As an emotionally empowered lady, I've learned to enjoy my own company. I take myself on adventure dates to explore traveling, dining, seeing movies, cultural and various social events ALONE which is a SUPERPOWER because it builds self-confidence. Confidence is an attractive trait to the healed but it repels the broken 💔. The reality is that I spend longer periods of singleness between relationships. I'm only interested in developing a meaningful committed relationship with the potential to lead to marriage.

  • @joiagenae
    @joiagenae 3 роки тому +2

    Tony.. this is just what I needed 😩

  • @dancerdancer313
    @dancerdancer313 3 роки тому +5

    Thanks for this video and series, Tony! 😀 I'm taking notes!

  • @Beautycomesfromwithin
    @Beautycomesfromwithin 3 роки тому +2

    Thank you for your videos!
    Truly I mean it, there are a lot of videos on UA-cam relating to women advice is very emotionally draining. I won't mention any names but you know the youtubers advocating hate towards a certain group of women.
    Your videos are helping a lot of people like me as you are authentic and kind. The lord is guiding you as you preach. Thanks again Mr Gaskins!

  • @PearlLoves1YAH
    @PearlLoves1YAH 3 роки тому +2

    Yes...praying together in the name of JESUS🙏🏼

  • @knowwhoyouare
    @knowwhoyouare 3 роки тому +8

    Love this series!!!

  • @Bluesnakes333
    @Bluesnakes333 2 роки тому

    I had to learn to use my intuition. You can tell almost right away if you should keep going. That person might start out saying they don’t want kids or that they don’t drink alcohol. Years later, that could change. So I think intuition will let you know a lot of what you need to know during the dating phase

  • @taga8006
    @taga8006 3 роки тому +5

    I've never been single since 13 until 2 years ago I broke up with my ex. I feel so free and have no desire to be in any relationships in the next year at least!

  • @NicNameIsNicki
    @NicNameIsNicki 3 роки тому

    This series is 👩🏽‍🍳 *chef’s kiss

  • @loveneverends9605
    @loveneverends9605 3 роки тому +1

    I truly love your vlogs, Mr. Gaskins! I’m glad that you talked a bit, about Muslims. I am a Muslimah, reverted to Islam from Christianity. I respect you, and alway will.🙂

  • @dorothysambucci9468
    @dorothysambucci9468 3 роки тому +7

    Right now I’m not interested in dating I’m still healing but love the knowledge! Thanks Tony! 😇👍😁

  • @keewashington1316
    @keewashington1316 3 роки тому +1

    I’m loving this series

  • @stellarhope6954
    @stellarhope6954 3 роки тому +5

    Thanks Tony. I'm 67.

  • @CaramelCuban
    @CaramelCuban 3 роки тому

    It’s tight but it’s right .. it’s hard but it’s fair good stuff ! thank you for your wisdom brother

  • @belleveHER
    @belleveHER 3 роки тому

    This title relates so much to a matter I just encountered. I'd love to send the information to you for discussion. One that I feel would be a GREAT discuss and knowledge in the dating world.

  • @cuniqueness
    @cuniqueness 3 роки тому +1

    Solid,
    Relax, relate, release. We here to live our lives to experience greatness and we still giving all our focus on relationship!?! Pls make it make sense.

    • @toileonard6032
      @toileonard6032 3 роки тому

      That just women nature. Even the most successful women in the world lack somewhere and that is having a successful relationship. I am 25 years old the times have changed but everyone really wants to found love but some people need healing. You can focus on yourself so much but there are going to be times when you are lonely.

    • @cuniqueness
      @cuniqueness 3 роки тому

      @@toileonard6032 you 25? Wonderful that’s what this all about, to start young adults in the beginning so their won’t be any toxic repeats. 1st is to center yourself & have a relationship within & you will never be alone. Life is an experience. Thanks for your feedback ❤️

    • @toileonard6032
      @toileonard6032 3 роки тому

      @@cuniqueness Most definitely!! You have to found yourself and love yourself to know what you want. Even though I am not alone within myself I do crave for a husband/best friend but in all due time. 🙏🙏

  • @araceliscollazo5067
    @araceliscollazo5067 3 роки тому +1

    “They feel a ghost on you”! Lol omg that’s funny!

  • @gwenlee9562
    @gwenlee9562 3 роки тому +2

    My initial screening is on the phone before I accept a date. I truly don't want to waste any ones time or money 💰.

  • @shereewhite4828
    @shereewhite4828 3 роки тому

    Yesssssss! Your video's are always on point! God bless you.

  • @coachstephaniedionnegreen1053
    @coachstephaniedionnegreen1053 3 роки тому

    That was exceptional, NephewTony. You definitely tell the truth. I appreciate you and your time. God bless you and your family. SDG

  • @valeriebryant4039
    @valeriebryant4039 3 роки тому +1

    Hi Tony thanks again for another great video

  • @diannejenkins9966
    @diannejenkins9966 3 роки тому +3

    I am a little close. But I am just not ready. Still healing.

  • @Carolina-et7wy
    @Carolina-et7wy 3 роки тому

    Thanks again Tony for your wise words!. Yes, definitely stick with what you believe in!

  • @thirdeyejourney
    @thirdeyejourney 3 роки тому +13

    What if you met a guy at a coffee shop one day and you gave him your number, but the next time you went to the coffee shop, he was there again and talked your ear off for 2 hours? I went there not for him, but to get my work done, and he said all sorts of absurd and inappropriate stuff to me? While also lecturing me and telling me that "we are meant to be." We never went on a date or anything, and I was extremely overwhelmed. Afterward, he kept calling me and I just ghosted him.

    • @MyMichellle
      @MyMichellle 3 роки тому +3

      You did the right thing sis

    • @thirdeyejourney
      @thirdeyejourney 3 роки тому

      @@MyMichellle thank you!

    • @Ms.J.
      @Ms.J. 3 роки тому +2

      Wow! 🤦🏽‍♀️

    • @janetday5431
      @janetday5431 3 роки тому +4

      I just dumped my boyfriend, he talks to much, and he talks about crazy things.
      8months lost .I didn't listen to that voice in the back of my mind. You did the only thing that you could ,he would have made you crazy.

    • @loveneverends9605
      @loveneverends9605 3 роки тому +3

      A NUT!!! Run for the hills. Glad you ended things.👏🏽

  • @kellyellis6080
    @kellyellis6080 3 роки тому +4

    That's a big NOT for me! After the last relationship almost costed me my life! I'm 100% DONE!

  • @akittycatworld
    @akittycatworld 3 роки тому

    Golden Advice ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

  • @workinperkins
    @workinperkins 3 роки тому

    Definitely not ready. I am more like my mom and will remain single the rest of my life.

  • @sabrinaclark2500
    @sabrinaclark2500 3 роки тому +4

    Listening!...

  • @kemiLuv
    @kemiLuv 3 роки тому +7

    Hey Everyone I have a question.
    I am 28 I went on a Date with a guy I have been talking to for a while now ,we went to have dinner I did made up my mind to pay my own bill so after the dinner that's what happened I paid and he didn't say nothing okay.
    So the second Date we went on I sit to see if he was going to pay the bill but when the waitress came he said separate please 🤔 we were also planning a third Date out of town, but after the second date I went home and I think about it and the next day I told him ist not going to work.
    Was that a good move from me?
    I talk to my best friend my sister and my Dad and they all said if a man can't pay for a Date then let him be.

  • @cynthia59665
    @cynthia59665 3 роки тому +1

    Well explained Sir

  • @reneeholzbach7269
    @reneeholzbach7269 3 роки тому

    Just bought both your Ebooks...

  • @jellygurl27
    @jellygurl27 3 роки тому +1

    We need a break down of this for each decade and ages ! We need one for women in 30 to 35 crew, I say that because even though my younger sister is 28, and I 32 I feel like we have different views on dating lol! I also feel like as a 32 I would never been able to relate to the late 30's 40's crew some of them may have gone through divorce and have kids.

  • @angelinkorn
    @angelinkorn 3 роки тому

    I was talking to this guy, he seemed sweet and all of that. A couple of days of constant communication, told me the f word, at first I thought he made a mistake and sent me a message meant for somebody else, so I asked to verify and to my surprise he only said that it was nothing. Didn't apologize, didn't clarify just left it like that. Now, I'm a lady so I left him off in the most lady like matter, "Well sir, I guess you are having a bad day, I will leave you alone now". The guy kept messaging me but I didn't reply back. Thank goodness it was now and not after.

  • @DanetteSWhite
    @DanetteSWhite 3 роки тому +4

    To Date or Not To Date???? That's the question. It can be nice or a headache. These men are 50 to 65. No communication skills. Ignore you. Makes up lies and excuses. So why bother!!???!!! I just turned"60" so I really don't have time to waste. I grew up with no cursing in my family either and I don't.

  • @LadieTasha
    @LadieTasha 3 роки тому +3

    Present 💜

  • @ShesGottaFastCar
    @ShesGottaFastCar 3 роки тому +1

    All Facts!!!!

  • @t.p.anderson1833
    @t.p.anderson1833 3 роки тому +5

    "You have the right to walk away from whatever reason you think you should."
    Do I cut this person off for
    smelling like they only bathe on Sunday or counting out a bunch of coins & coupons on a date? 😁

  • @irlandaise5631
    @irlandaise5631 3 роки тому

    Im EU white caucasian but in a different EU country ,I thought this is why but men from the country do look at me though..and other issues are the drinking or the smoking weed etc..if they curse it can be changed..well the drinking and weed too..if they say I d stop all these..

  • @irlandaise5631
    @irlandaise5631 3 роки тому +3

    im 38 in 2 days..and have no option...I dont want to go online ..few men who approached would cut me off right away and keep cutting me off..they dont let me speak in details..I feel no real interest /love from them..even women they approach me and the conversation is totally one sided..and it doesnt make sense sometimes too..they tell you things that are incomplete and you need to fish for more information, conversation doesnt flow..etc. but I recently noticed they may not be that clever..its not easy..

    • @NekeishaWise
      @NekeishaWise 3 роки тому +1

      TRUE! They always cut me off too. One dude even shushed me while we were on a first date. I was like "aren't we suppose to be getting to know one another?" I wasn't even talking a lot, but when I decided to speak dat fool shushed me. I had to cut him off. He got mad and everything like where they do that at.

    • @irlandaise5631
      @irlandaise5631 3 роки тому +1

      @@NekeishaWise It's crazy..the shushing is disrespectful..and on the first date on top of that..I never shushed anybody..I feel it's because they dont agree with what you say or/and aren't open to hear a different viewpoint..or they dont have the capacity to follow.. either way it is a bad sign..

    • @hymnodyhands
      @hymnodyhands 3 роки тому +6

      Cut them off... 3.9 BILLION men in the world. Don't settle for disrespectful men. Change your entire circle.

    • @NekeishaWise
      @NekeishaWise 3 роки тому +2

      @@irlandaise5631 Definitely a bad sign. The communication is OFF with a lot of guys. Some of them even only want to talk about themselves, and their problems like I am their therapist or something.

    • @irlandaise5631
      @irlandaise5631 3 роки тому

      @@NekeishaWise same .. I have such new male ‘friends’ and a new female friend same .. and told me after meeting her for a coffee ‘thanks for listening ‘ i play tennis and same some men are latching onto me asking me about myself and straight away taking over back to themselves .. and if you try to interject they ll say ‘let m finish ‘ and I say well I’m just commenting on what you say ..lol ..I have started walking away..

  • @TheReal_ChristinaRenee
    @TheReal_ChristinaRenee 3 роки тому +1

    AMEN

  • @LadyAngela678
    @LadyAngela678 3 роки тому +1

    I’ve been on vacation. Just in case anyone missed me. 😁

  • @lvncsr6166
    @lvncsr6166 3 роки тому

    Given that the red flags were present and you heard them(he was online and I never met him in person) why go through texting them? I personally feel all communication should be discontinued, period. I am not rude or cruel; I just think it's better to not further the communication. What do you think, Tony?

  • @CieCieBaby
    @CieCieBaby 3 роки тому

    Why is this person popping up on my menu?!?!

  • @lra1450
    @lra1450 3 роки тому

    Did you smoke and drink with your ex-girlfriend? I don't believe you mentioned it. Because birds of a feather flock together. Oh, and if you were drinking and smoking with your ex, did she influence you or was it the other way around.

  • @belindarobertson1512
    @belindarobertson1512 3 роки тому +2

    That's hurtful

  • @shiracobb3098
    @shiracobb3098 3 роки тому

    This doesn’t have anything to do with this video probably but Is it bad to cook for a guy every now and then? I don’t mean every day cooking but if he treats you to dinner all the time is a good man buys the groceries then is ok to cook for him every now and then?

    • @irlandaise5631
      @irlandaise5631 3 роки тому

      If he cooks the dinner yes, if not NO..treat him to a restaurant like he does ...There is no need to cook..with the technology nowadays..women can find other things to do..and men too in fact..but they dont bother cooking mostly..only women..so please all women stop serving others..and focus on developing yourself

    • @shiracobb3098
      @shiracobb3098 3 роки тому +1

      @@irlandaise5631 I see what you saying I do that as well(treat him to a restaurant) but it gets too expensive eating out all the time. I cook for myself and he eats sometimes bc we kinda live together. He doesn’t know how to cook he tried it sucked. His own sisters said he can’t cook worth a damn. I know what you are saying as well but he says I don’t have to cook I just do it once every couple of weeks. I think when I cook he cleans and does the laundry and stuff.

    • @irlandaise5631
      @irlandaise5631 3 роки тому

      @@shiracobb3098 it’s good then , that you don’t have to do it .. I don’t eat vegs in my case I cook frozen food /protein only and plain.. so if a man wants vegs he ll have to cook them for himself ..im not making any recipe .. if that s what you
      Mean by knowing how to cook but good he doesn’t mind if you don’t do it .. and does the laundry .. I believe each can do their own laundry though .. only cleaning a shared space needs to be shared .. frozen food and eggs are cheap .. I d suggest however to close your home until marriage ..as TG also advised

    • @shiracobb3098
      @shiracobb3098 3 роки тому +1

      @@irlandaise5631 Thanks for the reply and TG said (he admitted actually in one of his videos I watched )him n his wife now we’re living together and they still married. He admitted it bc he wasn’t happy they did it but he wanted us to know the truth.

    • @irlandaise5631
      @irlandaise5631 3 роки тому

      @@shiracobb3098 yeah I know but he doesn’t recommend it though - best is to close your legs and home until marriage.. this is what I’m doing

  • @Mary-gr3mr
    @Mary-gr3mr 3 роки тому

    It sucks when you really wanted a future with him I'm just being honest

  • @keepsit100atalltime9
    @keepsit100atalltime9 3 роки тому +7

    Tony we're not dating anymore until we see some real eligible bachelors. And stop saying they out there we just looking over them. Nope, I don't see any.

    • @childofgodskingdom8403
      @childofgodskingdom8403 3 роки тому +2

      Absolutely don't see them.. Are they looking like what they are NOT? I have seen them get hurt then start playing games they switch it up on you.. Trying to hurt a woman now sounds like a grown boy gone bad.. Ladies raise the bar.. Level up attract BETTER.

    • @keepsit100atalltime9
      @keepsit100atalltime9 3 роки тому +2

      @@childofgodskingdom8403 It's like a needle in a haystack. Tony act like the good ones are the haystack and the bad one's are the needles.

    • @monaedawson4523
      @monaedawson4523 3 роки тому

      @@keepsit100atalltime9 😄

    • @hymnodyhands
      @hymnodyhands 3 роки тому +6

      There are 3.9 BILLION men in the world... look into and get into different circles...

    • @toileonard6032
      @toileonard6032 3 роки тому +1

      I feel like there are alot good men out there. Good not perfect!

  • @CieCieBaby
    @CieCieBaby 3 роки тому

    I'm not subscribed!!!