Now I understand why some men have told me that I think like a man. I don't share much of my personal business or past emotional trauma with someone I just meet. One tip ladies...have your questions ready to change the subject back on them so you 😉 don't over share
I do this! I never share real personal details with men especially so early on. Many of them just want someone to have on you. I never give them anything to go on. Not all men are like this but many are. There is a bw hate train going on. And I refuse to get caught up.
I over share and sometimes I make it more exaggerated that I think the reason he walks aways. Coz even I don’t talk alot like before and not making exaggerated things happened to my life. And u knw what. The result is the same. They both left. The other are slowly left, the other is just a blink of an eye.
God has DEFINITELY sent you to help us women, specifically black women, to learn to value ourselves. I wanna give your WIFE the biggest hug for being selfless and understanding the work that you do to help women like me. I wish your family many blessings. We need black men like YOU. Your teachings have completely changed my life and I am forever grateful!
@@noemie1873 this young ladies response wasn't to say any race of women got treated better by their men than any other. Not sure why your response is igniting that thought. Or maybe I am misreading you. But if you re-read how she says it, you'd see she's speaking from her experience as a black woman and that's the only way she could speak. Geesh! Honestly, no one really cares about another woman's race and how that race is being treated. Majority of the time we tend to stay in our own race lane. This is even added in her beginning statement brother Tony was hear to help US women(ALL inclusive) but because he's a bit more familiar with his own race she added specifically black women. So please don't try and make her statement more than what she said. 🤦🏾♀️😔 carry on.
Not talking enough is one of the reasons dating is hard for me. If I don't have an emotional connection with the person, I don't feel the need to share. I share when I feel that trust building. Men seem to ask about very intimate and vulnerable things when I first meet them. I feel physically uncomfortable because it comes across as manipulative. I close off.
I am laying here with tears in my eyes because I didn't listen to you Tony! Last year I binged on your videos and got the knowledge. Thought I was healing and boom got into another toxic relationship with a grown boy. It's TRUE most of us won't listen to you but yet we watch you. I'm now pregnant with my first kid getting ready to be a single mom. Getting treated like shit and trying to not fall apart. I saw the red flags😭 but Tony one thing I did take your advice on is fighting like a grown woman. Pray baby and I can ease out safe and if God get us through I officially learned never again. Tony I pray women take heed.
In order to know what a man is really like you have to keep your eyes and ears open and your mouth closed. That one was a hard one for me to do(To stop talking so much) but I'm practicing it. Silence is really golden.
I feel like I don't understand how to be a human being anymore when it comes to dating.Hard to trust anyone these days. But I enjoy Tony's advice to fall back and observe and let the man reveal himself. I just want a kind, solvent grown man, with a good heart, that I have mutual attraction with. How can this be so hard ????
@@danyelgarcia3689 Yes indeed! 🙏🏻I have started praying for sure. I even have a best gf I call and we prey together on the phone to clear our minds and hearts when we have strange or hurtful interactions with "Men". There are a lot of mentally and spiritually unhealthy men / grown boys out there. Society keeps grinding men into shadows of who they once were. I can't believe the speech or the behavior I have seen and experienced. End of times level behavior. It's Unbelievable we have to use so much caution but we do. Tony and RC get us thru -- like a beacon thru a swamp. I will only lead with friendship from now in potential relationships so I can really see the soul of the person I am dealing with not just the body, but the mind and spirit must be intact and compatible.
I've come to the conclusion that it's best to just work on yourself and love yourself and just let God send the man. Don't go looking just sit down, be quiet, and have some patience. I tell myself this everyday !
I used to tell men that I dated my past and he will tell me his and I thought we were being transparent with each other only to find out it back fire 🔥 on me and I was so disappointed so lesson learned .Now I jus keep it cute and mute 😒
Tony told no lies, my ex boyfriend, a grown boy threw in my face things I had told him about my dad. I was like whoa. I lost respect for him after that and never looked at him the same, and after that, I now keep my mouth shut, even in a relationship Iam still guarded. Blessings Tony to you and the Queen
Yes!!! Tony Gaskins you can’t be more on time. Never too old to keep learning. I pray that you stay so sensitive to the Holy Spirit. Right on time Tony!!!!!!
If no one has ever told you, YOU ARE THE BEST COUNSELOR and TEACHER ever. You always give the best advice and right on time with the exact info that is needed. I am soooo glad I listen and pay for your time and value to be so authentic and honest with us to really want to grow and better ourselves in life. You are a great role model n leader. God bless you and your family Eternity Brother. 🙏🏽🙏🏽😩🥲🙂🙂
He''s amazing sis! He over changing lives! Dudes get scared now because they realize very quickly I aint the one. You'll get smoked over here tryna play me. I have learned to love myself even more because of his teachings. He's a God send....for real.
Haha I just got off the phone with a guy, I watched this video first. I asked him what happened between him and his ex. Tony, he literally said, "it just didn't work out." I was thinking, Well I'll be damned! 😂
After all this time watching Tony’s videos and hearing people describe the men they meet as narcissistic (which they may or may not be) following Tony’s advice would help you side step even narcissistic men.
God bless you brother Tony Gaskins Jr. You are a Godsend to this generation!💯…in my looooong season of singleness when I’m tempted to grow weary, you make me realize God has actually answered prayers that I forgot that I prayed and has been protecting and preserving me ALL this time from the lesser self that I was and these grown boy predators! Glory to the all knowing God who goes before us! Blessings! 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙏🏽
Finally got this memo... Yas - mirroring us... setting us up. Cut the intel is my new motto! Thanks for all the rich blessings today, Tony! Joined the Blessed Tribe today. :) Agape from Canada, All.
What helps me understand how i look to men is putting myself in their shoes or seeing myself the way I see them. Example: if a guy is really cute, but his clothes matching and he overly confident flirting in a farrari, and it comes off lustful, to me its not cute....and alot of times we women think "ALL WE NEED TO BE IS CUTE" , but just like i see past a cute mans beauty, he may see past the beauty. I put myself in men's shoes, when i wonder things, like "would i ghost a guy i really like"? Would I barely see someone I really like? Would I barely call or ignore a guy I really like. (Common sense isnt common-Tony G.)Is a man w matching clothes & shoes w a nice car everything to me? Im personally not attracted to a man who is too flashy, or attracted to a man who is perfectly handsome w conceit, and Im sure guys feel like that when women are matching, flawlessly dressed, and arrogant. Down to earth is better like Tony said, be yourself..
You're so right Tony, but I guess the reason sometimes I ramble on and on talking sometimes on a date is because the guy sometimes don't be saying much of anything, or I don't want to come across as boring or way too shy.
@Patricia Then, HE was the one that was "BORING". 😆 If I'm the one that does most of the talking, I take it that he's not that interested in me. I'm not looking for a shy man.
“I’m right there with him” 😳🤣 I don’t know why that cracked me up so bad. I’ve told my husband many things about my past and he never throws it in my face. I guess I got a good one ☺️ I still like to watch these type of videos to keep my mindset right though.
You are correct i didn’t tell my ex dudes nothing bout my past because I observed him and see he was a gossiper and like drama he seem like if you tell him anything he’ll use it against you later
Tony Tony Tony! I been wondering why my dating experience start off strong and then go weak! I been giving away to much information 🤦🏾♀️🤷🏾♀️. I got it now 👌🏾
I normally ask people a lot of questions and I'm a good listener. It's them who tell me things about them. I find it uncomfortable to open up. I don't talk about myself unless i know they'll understand or i trust them enough to listen and care. I'm an introvert, as much as possible i don't want the spotlight on me. I know about others more than they know about me. The guy i like rn, we're best friends. When we met we first talked about our problems. We had difficult conversations. So right from the very start, care and respect existed in our friendship. We both give each other safe space to express ourselves. I'm learning to be more open, he listens to me, and is very accepting. He always asks me how i feel, and always tells me he's willing to listen and be present during the good/bad/blah days. We are in tune with each other's emotions that we feel and notice what the other person is feeling without the other saying anything. So we encourage transparency in our communication because it's useless to keep things. We both notice when the other person is not ok so it's better to just talk about things. We are each other's emotional support. And honestly, he is the best person I've ever met. I call him my lab rat, and he calls me his guinea pig. We study each other and try to understand each other better. I still have a lot I haven't told him, but he already knows my past mistakes which is something difficult for me to discuss but I consider important to let the other person know anyway. So before we even fell in love, we already know the worst things each went through. We don't use it against each other, it helps us be kinder to each other. We read the bible together and sing songs together, we help other people together, we are a team. We are thankful to God everyday for meeting the other. Idk. It's just effortless and easy and natural. Just sharing. ☺️
Yesss Tony. Great topic. Makes sense. Men that dont know us do not care about us and our feelings! Thats common sense! They don’t need to know personal information about us, especially when first meeting someone! Dating is alot of work. Relationships are alot of work. Marriage is alot of work. Careful what you wish for… 🙏🏻🙏🏻
TG, this one was SPOT ON🎯……I used to willingly share innocently, thinking this is what people do in order to get to know one another; WRONG!!! I’ve learned my lesson. Don’t give them intel to use against you. Just sit back and watch who they are-don’t give them the pleasure of picking “the Denzel role”….I loved that part TG🙌🏽💕☀️
My new response to men when they ask, what am I looking for in a man has been “ I don’t know yet, but let’s try this out and see if it’s a fit. 😂 and when they ask about exes. I always say I’m sure he is ok wherever he is. Our break up was a mutual agreement.
Men I date sometimes ask me about my ex and what happened. It’s actually none of their business so my reply is “great guy but we just grew apart”. End it at that and don’t go on. Change the subject. My man turned out to be a narcissist and a cheater but no guy I’m dating will ever know. Physiologically is brings your value down. Even if your not at fault. I usually stuff food into my mouth on dates so I don’t talk to much.
Tony, I just wanted to thank you because you have literally saved the lives of many women including myself. These are the talks that my parents never had with me being old fashion and if they would have it would have saved me so much heartache and bitterness and so I hope you know you are literally saving the lives of the women that have the ears to listen. I thank you for giving me the information that my playboy of a father could have never given me .
Likely because there is ever growing narcissism in the world. It isn’t the goo goo eyed game some might think it is. It’s a sport and people are there to win and not by necessarily honorable standards.
Exactly. I did It. I went true it, now I’m telling you so you don’t have too. I keep telling my daughter the same, but it seems like she wants to learn the hard way. “Don’t reinvent the wheel.”
I swear these men read from the same handbook. What are you looking for in a men? My answer is always “I’ll know when I see him.” So basically tread lightly because I’m listening and observing also. I block and delete in a heartbeat.
Although this is true. A real man would never use what he knows about you against you. I know Tony would never do that to his wife or anyone else. He’s just giving advice on how to stay sucka free
@@ashleycbla a real man will test you but using anything that someone has told you about their past is not okay. I’m sure a man of integrity would never. Cause at the end of the day we all have been through things. No one can condemn you to your past or pain.
A mature, healthy, grown man may not use given information against you. However, like Tony said, you can still run him off by talking too much…especially revealing too much too soon.
Everything Tony said is true. Never tell a man to much too soon. I told a guy i was dating dome of my secrets before i came across TG of course and was literally though i was just sharing with someone i was building with and he literally labled me "damaged goods"
That is a lie from the enemy sis!! Don't believe it for one second. Just because we may have a traumatic past does NOT make us damaged goods. Period! You are fearfully and wonderfully made by God, you are above and not beneath, you are more than a conqueror in Christ, you are blessed and highly favored. You are beautiful and a treasure and he who finds you, finds a good thing 🙏🏼❤
A man’s quietness does not cause a woman to over talk. A woman can learn to be at peace with silence. Just breathe deeply and relax. A woman can speak occasionally. She can ask substantive questions herself, or even make a substantive comment about herself. If he doesn’t contribute to the conversation maybe he’s not the man for her.
@@terralynn9062 thank you. I try but the conversation feels superficial. It's only been a little over a week though. But I'm getting tired. It's like pulling teeth
@@Cpre1111 I hear you. I’m out here trying to meet someone, too. I’m trying to listen to my inner voice, because deep down inside, I know if something is right for me or not. I can usually feel it. Best wishes to you.
So much accuracy in this video Danm I wish I knew this before I was so gullible, I’m a little late but at I’m 32 years of age I’m cognizant that I don’t have to reveal information I’m not comfortable revealing in order to keep a man .
My Biggest Mistake I Made in Dating Relationships is Talking about my Kid's Father Alot. Explaining how he was my First and how he left me a week after my Birthday after 5 years.💘
I definitely made this mistake with my ex he judged me off of the personal things i told him and threw it back up in my face when it was over i will keep my mouth shut my next relationship
Happy Birthday to Your Dad, enjoyed my 1:1 coaching session with him a few months ago. Tony this hit home and you put it very plain and simple. Point Blank Perioodd! Blessings and Abundance to you and your family.
Wow!!! This explains so much of my past experiences in the wrong relationships with the counterfeits. Thanks for sharing, this will definitely be on my tool list to be more equip when I date.
Ive given up on men. When i choose to answer the man says im a liar n im secretive. Theres no winning. I am guilty of saying too much n have had things used against me.
Dropping gems 💎 I have noticed this that's why everyone says I'm too quiet which makes me come across boring but at least it's been admitted now, happy birthday by the way 🎂 🎈
Everything you said is true....I just allowed myself to go through this because I ignored the signs. Thank you for reinforcing these points. They are appreciated 🙏🏾.
I LOVEEEEE mr gaskins advice, free help and so much wisdom! dating is hard (not literally but its hard work). i wish more men would watch his videos so they can do self work as well. but then again, men arent as mentally prepped to take critiquing as we ladies are. and then i dont think many guys would even watch this channel to even get the same wisdom we've been getting. we do all these things to hopefully be a better individual and attract the right individuals ...live right...love ourselves, prepare for a better love life, life in general, be closer to God but will or can a man be taught these same values? the advice tg gives is literally LIFE CHANGING. I can't thank him enough for this. i just wish men had the same resources...or maybe they do! i just dont search for it like i search for mine 🤷🏽♀️ ughhhh life!
One rebuttal I have to this is that if you do share your personal experiences with a truly good man, he would never bring that up during an argument. That’s abusive and if he’ll do that at all then he’s abusive period. That’s on him and not on me for sharing padt bad experiences I’ve had.
Yes Uncle Tony! I thought I was tripping when I was explaining something similar to the girls but this was definitely confirmation. *sends link to group chat* lol Thank you! ❤️
“He’s not there to heal you.” That’s a message in and of itself! 🙌🏾
💯
Facts
Absolutely, agree he can't heal you, some roads you need to take alone 🙏
Now I understand why some men have told me that I think like a man. I don't share much of my personal business or past emotional trauma with someone I just meet. One tip ladies...have your questions ready to change the subject back on them so you 😉 don't over share
I do this! I never share real personal details with men especially so early on. Many of them just want someone to have on you. I never give them anything to go on. Not all men are like this but many are. There is a bw hate train going on. And I refuse to get caught up.
Thanks
And Never hang around these katts with a drink or 2 in you. You need All your wits about you. That's where I fkd up at. Won't happen again though.
@@Nekole1 You're Right
I over share and sometimes I make it more exaggerated that I think the reason he walks aways. Coz even I don’t talk alot like before and not making exaggerated things happened to my life. And u knw what. The result is the same. They both left. The other are slowly left, the other is just a blink of an eye.
Very true! Just shut up, sit back, & observe. You’ll learn a lot about somebody, even if there is utter silence ladies.
True
So true, I listen more and when I pick up on something I bounce.
Yes, silence is golden! We learn so much by just listening and observing. It really gives you a birds eye view of how these men are out here moving.
I’d add pray while observing 🙏🏾
God has DEFINITELY sent you to help us women, specifically black women, to learn to value ourselves. I wanna give your WIFE the biggest hug for being selfless and understanding the work that you do to help women like me. I wish your family many blessings. We need black men like YOU. Your teachings have completely changed my life and I am forever grateful!
Amen, I absolutely agree.
Sad that you had to say "for black women".
Says A lot about our Men.....
I don't feel white women get a better treatment from white men!
@@noemie1873 this young ladies response wasn't to say any race of women got treated better by their men than any other. Not sure why your response is igniting that thought. Or maybe I am misreading you. But if you re-read how she says it, you'd see she's speaking from her experience as a black woman and that's the only way she could speak. Geesh! Honestly, no one really cares about another woman's race and how that race is being treated. Majority of the time we tend to stay in our own race lane. This is even added in her beginning statement brother Tony was hear to help US women(ALL inclusive) but because he's a bit more familiar with his own race she added specifically black women. So please don't try and make her statement more than what she said. 🤦🏾♀️😔 carry on.
@@zee_lolaj7382 agree! I love Tony and I’m white.
My ex told me “this is why you have no friends” . I was stunned!! Never again.
When a guy asked me "what do you want in man, or what do you like or dislike ?
I say, "just be you."
I say the same thing
Tony, I dont care who quotes your work. Nobody will deliver it the way you do. You've changed my outlook 100%.
I appreciate you. Thank you.
FACTS!
Facts sis
ABSOLUTELY
"Keep your personal business that can be used against you in the Court Of Love". I got that~~Tony Gaskins
“What happens so often with women is, you talk too much.” TG.
Agreed
This is so true agree
God wants us women to be quiet for real. The same message coming from different life coaches and pastors means it's time to just be quiet. I get it!
The point blank peer-reeee-ahhhd be taking me out 😂
a man does not need to know ur trauma, ur $, who hurt you etc.
Tony this is what happened with my
Last relationship! I told him everything and he ended up 10x worst !!!!!!!
Not talking enough is one of the reasons dating is hard for me. If I don't have an emotional connection with the person, I don't feel the need to share. I share when I feel that trust building. Men seem to ask about very intimate and vulnerable things when I first meet them. I feel physically uncomfortable because it comes across as manipulative. I close off.
Whenever they start off talking about sex and body parts and things like that, KNOW he’s trying to see what he can get from you.
As you should. Great job 👌🏿
I am laying here with tears in my eyes because I didn't listen to you Tony! Last year I binged on your videos and got the knowledge. Thought I was healing and boom got into another toxic relationship with a grown boy. It's TRUE most of us won't listen to you but yet we watch you. I'm now pregnant with my first kid getting ready to be a single mom. Getting treated like shit and trying to not fall apart. I saw the red flags😭 but Tony one thing I did take your advice on is fighting like a grown woman. Pray baby and I can ease out safe and if God get us through I officially learned never again. Tony I pray women take heed.
Praying for you sis. God still got you and the baby. 💞
Be encouraged sister children are a blessing from the Lord. Ask Jesus to help and guide you.😃
🙏🙏
I will pray for you and your family. Don’t worry sister
Praying for you sister.
You're going to be fine with the baby.
God always makes a way when we see no way.
Phil..4:6 ...read it and know that God is.
In order to know what a man is really like you have to keep your eyes and ears open and your mouth closed. That one was a hard one for me to do(To stop talking so much) but I'm practicing it. Silence is really golden.
I feel like I don't understand how to
be a human being anymore when it comes to dating.Hard to trust anyone these days.
But I enjoy Tony's advice to fall back and observe and let the man reveal himself.
I just want a kind, solvent grown man, with a good heart, that I have mutual attraction with. How can this be so hard ????
I ask myself the same question 🤦🏽♀️
Jesus help is all. I'm truly going to start praying that for us. It's the sign of the times and that's why it les to go back to prayer.
@@danyelgarcia3689 Yes indeed! 🙏🏻I have started praying for sure. I even have a best gf I call and we prey together on the phone to clear our minds and hearts when we have strange or hurtful interactions with "Men".
There are a lot of mentally and spiritually unhealthy men / grown boys out there.
Society keeps grinding men into shadows of who they once were.
I can't believe the speech or the behavior I have seen and experienced.
End of times level behavior.
It's Unbelievable we have to use so much caution but we do. Tony and RC get us thru -- like a beacon thru a swamp.
I will only lead with friendship from now in potential relationships so I can really see the soul of the person I am dealing with not just the body, but the mind and spirit must be intact and compatible.
💯
I've come to the conclusion that it's best to just work on yourself and love yourself and just let God send the man. Don't go looking just sit down, be quiet, and have some patience. I tell myself this everyday !
I used to tell men that I dated my past and he will tell me his and I thought we were being transparent with each other only to find out it back fire 🔥 on me and I was so disappointed so lesson learned .Now I jus keep it cute and mute 😒
Tony told no lies, my ex boyfriend, a grown boy threw in my face things I had told him about my dad. I was like whoa. I lost respect for him after that and never looked at him the same, and after that, I now keep my mouth shut, even in a relationship Iam still guarded. Blessings Tony to you and the Queen
You just taught me something, I use to tell a man everything I've been through and all I was doing was giving him fuel to treat me more worse.
Yes!!! Tony Gaskins you can’t be more on time. Never too old to keep learning.
I pray that you stay so sensitive to the Holy Spirit. Right on time Tony!!!!!!
If no one has ever told you, YOU ARE THE BEST COUNSELOR and TEACHER ever. You always give the best advice and right on time with the exact info that is needed. I am soooo glad I listen and pay for your time and value to be so authentic and honest with us to really want to grow and better ourselves in life. You are a great role model n leader. God bless you and your family Eternity Brother. 🙏🏽🙏🏽😩🥲🙂🙂
Yes he is. He and RC. Blakes are THE Best.
Amen!!
He''s amazing sis! He over changing lives! Dudes get scared now because they realize very quickly I aint the one. You'll get smoked over here tryna play me. I have learned to love myself even more because of his teachings. He's a God send....for real.
I so agree…Tony is REAL!🙏🏿❤️
@@nickab2691 yes!!! Those two men are my spiritual fathers!!
Tony's rights " Anything you say can and will be use against you in the court of love" ...got it!🤐
Ladies, stop✋ talking sooo much. Don't give a man the "ROAD MAP" to your HEART ❤️. "Listen" more. Operate in LOVE, not DESPERATION.
Amen Sis I agree
Yes this is so true 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾
I'm glad I'm the quiet type...men say I'm too quiet lol
They tell you that you are too quiet because for them it's convenient if you talk. Keep being quiet ✌🏼
Got my notebook 📓 out!! It’s note taking season!! Shoutout to Tony for continuing to give the game!! It’s appreciated SO MUCH!!
That one downvote always pop up on Tony’s videos from a grown boy not approving 🤣🤣😂
This is good, answered prayer to have discernment about what to say and not to say.
Haha I just got off the phone with a guy, I watched this video first. I asked him what happened between him and his ex. Tony, he literally said, "it just didn't work out." I was thinking, Well I'll be damned! 😂
I like this video. Ive always told a man my personal business is none of his. This confirmed Im doing something right
After all this time watching Tony’s videos and hearing people describe the men they meet as narcissistic (which they may or may not be) following Tony’s advice would help you side step even narcissistic men.
God bless you brother Tony Gaskins Jr. You are a Godsend to this generation!💯…in my looooong season of singleness when I’m tempted to grow weary, you make me realize God has actually answered prayers that I forgot that I prayed and has been protecting and preserving me ALL this time from the lesser self that I was and these grown boy predators! Glory to the all knowing God who goes before us! Blessings! 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙏🏽
Kevin Samuel WHO! You are the real goat! I needed to hear this seriously! Thank you 🙏🏻
Exactly keep it to yourselves. I don’t volunteer nothing I observe learn lessons.
Finally got this memo... Yas - mirroring us... setting us up. Cut the intel is my new motto! Thanks for all the rich blessings today, Tony! Joined the Blessed Tribe today. :) Agape from Canada, All.
Cut the intel... brilliant
Ty this is right on time. I have a date tomorrow night. ☺
😏
Have fun and 🤫Shhhh! 😂🤎
Good luck!
It went well
What helps me understand how i look to men is putting myself in their shoes or seeing myself the way I see them. Example: if a guy is really cute, but his clothes matching and he overly confident flirting in a farrari, and it comes off lustful, to me its not cute....and alot of times we women think "ALL WE NEED TO BE IS CUTE" , but just like i see past a cute mans beauty, he may see past the beauty. I put myself in men's shoes, when i wonder things, like "would i ghost a guy i really like"? Would I barely see someone I really like? Would I barely call or ignore a guy I really like. (Common sense isnt common-Tony G.)Is a man w matching clothes & shoes w a nice car everything to me? Im personally not attracted to a man who is too flashy, or attracted to a man who is perfectly handsome w conceit, and Im sure guys feel like that when women are matching, flawlessly dressed, and arrogant. Down to earth is better like Tony said, be yourself..
You're so right Tony, but I guess the reason sometimes I ramble on and on talking sometimes on a date is because the guy sometimes don't be saying much of anything, or I don't want to come across as boring or way too shy.
@Patricia Then, HE was the one that was "BORING". 😆 If I'm the one that does most of the talking, I take it that he's not that interested in me. I'm not looking for a shy man.
“I’m right there with him” 😳🤣 I don’t know why that cracked me up so bad. I’ve told my husband many things about my past and he never throws it in my face. I guess I got a good one ☺️ I still like to watch these type of videos to keep my mindset right though.
God bless you more😢
You are correct i didn’t tell my ex dudes nothing bout my past because I observed him and see he was a gossiper and like drama he seem like if you tell him anything he’ll use it against you later
Tony Tony Tony! I been wondering why my dating experience start off strong and then go weak! I been giving away to much information 🤦🏾♀️🤷🏾♀️. I got it now 👌🏾
I normally ask people a lot of questions and I'm a good listener. It's them who tell me things about them. I find it uncomfortable to open up. I don't talk about myself unless i know they'll understand or i trust them enough to listen and care. I'm an introvert, as much as possible i don't want the spotlight on me. I know about others more than they know about me.
The guy i like rn, we're best friends. When we met we first talked about our problems. We had difficult conversations. So right from the very start, care and respect existed in our friendship. We both give each other safe space to express ourselves. I'm learning to be more open, he listens to me, and is very accepting. He always asks me how i feel, and always tells me he's willing to listen and be present during the good/bad/blah days. We are in tune with each other's emotions that we feel and notice what the other person is feeling without the other saying anything. So we encourage transparency in our communication because it's useless to keep things. We both notice when the other person is not ok so it's better to just talk about things. We are each other's emotional support. And honestly, he is the best person I've ever met. I call him my lab rat, and he calls me his guinea pig. We study each other and try to understand each other better. I still have a lot I haven't told him, but he already knows my past mistakes which is something difficult for me to discuss but I consider important to let the other person know anyway. So before we even fell in love, we already know the worst things each went through. We don't use it against each other, it helps us be kinder to each other.
We read the bible together and sing songs together, we help other people together, we are a team. We are thankful to God everyday for meeting the other. Idk. It's just effortless and easy and natural.
Just sharing. ☺️
Thank you Tony. Got me here snapping fingers. Protecting our womanhood/what we’ve been through till he proves his honour is key.
Yesss Tony. Great topic. Makes sense. Men that dont know us do not care about us and our feelings! Thats common sense! They don’t need to know personal information about us, especially when first meeting someone! Dating is alot of work. Relationships are alot of work. Marriage is alot of work. Careful what you wish for… 🙏🏻🙏🏻
TG, this one was SPOT ON🎯……I used to willingly share innocently, thinking this is what people do in order to get to know one another; WRONG!!! I’ve learned my lesson. Don’t give them intel to use against you. Just sit back and watch who they are-don’t give them the pleasure of picking “the Denzel role”….I loved that part TG🙌🏽💕☀️
It's so sad that you can't be honest these days because people take everything you say, twist it and use it against you smh 😔😔
I listened to this twice. My absolute biggest problem! I appreciate you as always. Gonna find your Dad's book
Blessed tribe🙌🏾🤍🤍🤍
Happy birthday to Tony Sr 🎉🥳🎉
My new response to men when they ask, what am I looking for in a man has been “ I don’t know yet, but let’s try this out and see if it’s a fit. 😂 and when they ask about exes. I always say I’m sure he is ok wherever he is. Our break up was a mutual agreement.
True!! I tell him “non of his BUSINESS”…etc
Good Lord, you are speaking the TOTAL TRUTH!!! You're a good man to share this TG! God bless you.
Men I date sometimes ask me about my ex and what happened. It’s actually none of their business so my reply is “great guy but we just grew apart”. End it at that and don’t go on. Change the subject. My man turned out to be a narcissist and a cheater but no guy I’m dating will ever know. Physiologically is brings your value down. Even if your not at fault. I usually stuff food into my mouth on dates so I don’t talk to much.
This inspired me!
anything you say can and will be used against you in the COURTing of Love! that was a mic drop statement Mr. Gaskins!
LORDTTTT!!! This is so true!!! Wish I had of known this 20 years ago!! BUT GOD!!!
Self confidence has no color, race or religion ! Tony thank you for helping all women, that are in the dark ❤️
What happened in your last relationship or last guy you dated?? 🤔 Ummm... I don't remember...it was yearsssss ago🤣😂
Facts
Tony, I just wanted to thank you because you have literally saved the lives of many women including myself. These are the talks that my parents never had with me being old fashion and if they would have it would have saved me so much heartache and bitterness and so I hope you know you are literally saving the lives of the women that have the ears to listen. I thank you for giving me the information that my playboy of a father could have never given me .
Likely because there is ever growing narcissism in the world. It isn’t the goo goo eyed game some might think it is. It’s a sport and people are there to win and not by necessarily honorable standards.
Exactly. I did It. I went true it, now I’m telling you so you don’t have too. I keep telling my daughter the same, but it seems like she wants to learn the hard way. “Don’t reinvent the wheel.”
i'm just gonna act like this hasn't been my mind all freaking day today. thank you 🖤
I wish my younger self came across mr Tony Gaskins so much to learn.
I swear these men read from the same handbook. What are you looking for in a men? My answer is always “I’ll know when I see him.” So basically tread lightly because I’m listening and observing also. I block and delete in a heartbeat.
Although this is true. A real man would never use what he knows about you against you. I know Tony would never do that to his wife or anyone else. He’s just giving advice on how to stay sucka free
Even a “real man” will test you. He’s basically explaining a different way of how men test women.
@@ashleycbla Indeed.
@@ashleycbla a real man will test you but using anything that someone has told you about their past is not okay. I’m sure a man of integrity would never. Cause at the end of the day we all have been through things. No one can condemn you to your past or pain.
Tony was the man he talking about lol
A mature, healthy, grown man may not use given information against you. However, like Tony said, you can still run him off by talking too much…especially revealing too much too soon.
Everything Tony said is true. Never tell a man to much too soon. I told a guy i was dating dome of my secrets before i came across TG of course and was literally though i was just sharing with someone i was building with and he literally labled me "damaged goods"
That is a lie from the enemy sis!! Don't believe it for one second. Just because we may have a traumatic past does NOT make us damaged goods. Period! You are fearfully and wonderfully made by God, you are above and not beneath, you are more than a conqueror in Christ, you are blessed and highly favored. You are beautiful and a treasure and he who finds you, finds a good thing 🙏🏼❤
Thank you! I just started dating after getting over a long-term grown boy relationship. I will now reply "I know when I see it." Good answer.
What if he doesn't ask me substantive questions? He just stays quiet, until I fill the silence. Causing me to over talk
Had this happen. Never again will I carry the conversation.
A man’s quietness does not cause a woman to over talk. A woman can learn to be at peace with silence. Just breathe deeply and relax. A woman can speak occasionally. She can ask substantive questions herself, or even make a substantive comment about herself. If he doesn’t contribute to the conversation maybe he’s not the man for her.
@@terralynn9062 thank you. I try but the conversation feels superficial. It's only been a little over a week though. But I'm getting tired. It's like pulling teeth
@@Cpre1111 I hear you. I’m out here trying to meet someone, too. I’m trying to listen to my inner voice, because deep down inside, I know if something is right for me or not. I can usually feel it. Best wishes to you.
@@terralynn9062 best wishes to you too! Thanks again
So much accuracy in this video Danm I wish I knew this before I was so gullible, I’m a little late but at I’m 32 years of age I’m cognizant that I don’t have to reveal information I’m not comfortable revealing in order to keep a man .
My Biggest Mistake I Made in Dating Relationships is Talking about my Kid's Father Alot. Explaining how he was my First and how he left me a week after my Birthday after 5 years.💘
Thanks for all your videos, l am Arabian living in the middle east but your videos makes difference in my life, thanks a lot.
Bro Tony you are so on point with this message we as women we talk to much . I truly agree with you
He said, take it to the Lord in Prayer!!! Lol at least then you won't hear it again!!
God Bless you Tony and ya beautiful family, always dropping nothin but KNOWLEDGE, str8 GEMS💎
I definitely made this mistake with my ex he judged me off of the personal things i told him and threw it back up in my face when it was over i will keep my mouth shut my next relationship
Thanks Tony we needed this, prayers and blessings to your family.
"THAT'S WHY!" Triggering...so accurate TG. 🙏🏾💫💚
Thanks for sharing this message TG. Stay blessed!
Happy Birthday to Your Dad, enjoyed my 1:1 coaching session with him a few months ago. Tony this hit home and you put it very plain and simple. Point Blank Perioodd! Blessings and Abundance to you and your family.
Thanks for the refresher Bro Tony! God Bless You!
Best 20 minutes of my day! 🤯 ! Thank you Tony
Wow!!! This explains so much of my past experiences in the wrong relationships with the counterfeits. Thanks for sharing, this will definitely be on my tool list to be more equip when I date.
Thanks for sharing. Happy birthday, Mr. Gaskins.
Thank you for laying it out straight for us 👏🏾💯
Thank you for the knowledge. Definitely spoke a word.
Ive given up on men. When i choose to answer the man says im a liar n im secretive. Theres no winning. I am guilty of saying too much n have had things used against me.
Same
Absolutely A Blessed Message Here Mr. Gaskins. 💯✅🥰🌸
Thank you 🙏 Tony!!!
Thank you 👍🏽 This is the best message yet 💯 I will use this message moving forward I needed this ☕️
Dropping gems 💎 I have noticed this that's why everyone says I'm too quiet which makes me come across boring but at least it's been admitted now, happy birthday by the way 🎂 🎈
Everything you said is true....I just allowed myself to go through this because I ignored the signs. Thank you for reinforcing these points. They are appreciated 🙏🏾.
I LOVEEEEE mr gaskins advice, free help and so much wisdom! dating is hard (not literally but its hard work). i wish more men would watch his videos so they can do self work as well. but then again, men arent as mentally prepped to take critiquing as we ladies are. and then i dont think many guys would even watch this channel to even get the same wisdom we've been getting. we do all these things to hopefully be a better individual and attract the right individuals ...live right...love ourselves, prepare for a better love life, life in general, be closer to God but will or can a man be taught these same values?
the advice tg gives is literally LIFE CHANGING. I can't thank him enough for this. i just wish men had the same resources...or maybe they do! i just dont search for it like i search for mine 🤷🏽♀️ ughhhh life!
I had stopped watching but it feels soooo good to tap back in
One rebuttal I have to this is that if you do share your personal experiences with a truly good man, he would never bring that up during an argument. That’s abusive and if he’ll do that at all then he’s abusive period. That’s on him and not on me for sharing padt bad experiences I’ve had.
We sure do Tony! I realized that years ago, and have almost mastered it.
Thanks I will remember this!!
I learned A LOT from this one video. Thank you very much Tony.
I needed this!! It allowed me to reflect on more about a guy I went out with last year and where I went wrong
Yes Uncle Tony! I thought I was tripping when I was explaining something similar to the girls but this was definitely confirmation. *sends link to group chat* lol Thank you! ❤️
Happy birthday to your father. 😊
Thank you Tony 💕🙏🏾
Happy birthday to Tony Gaskins the first.