@God's CHOSEN 1 I’m talking about in the beginning stages. No one can learn you via text in the beginning😒. Text is like reading a book. You don’t know how the characters look so you imagine it, you don’t know what they sound like or what their mannerisms are so you imagine it. How many times have you read a book then went to watch the movie based on the book and thought to yourself that the book was better or the characters were different. The point is somebody can be anybody behind spelling Bc words are just that, spells. Don’t confuse people smh
Attentiveness is a big one. No matter how busy someone is, they will make time for whats important to them. Emotional intelligence is a big one for me too. I can't stand someone who flies off the handle. 💯
Watch his energy. If he not calling you everyday in the dating process. He isn't really into you. Red Flag I think he is either in a relationship or just not that into you.
So sad to hear some of you have given up… hearing women say “ I’ve come to realize I’m going to be single”😢 Don’t let the devil still your desires for a husband…”Ye of little faith” God did not design for us to be alone… if we want husbands we have to act like wives… Legs closed, hands up, and feet in the ground… keep your legs closed, continue to pray and seek God, and keep doing God’s work which is your purpose…I’m single and I know as horrible as this dating pool looks, God is preparing my husband for me…we have to remember “When a man finds a wife he finds a good thing”! Instead of preparing for him, some of y’all counting yourselves out or settling for less…stop and wait… remember who and whose you are!!!👑💛🥰
Big flirt is a red flag. Checking people out and cat calling is a red flag. A person lives with a woman they are not married to. Have children out of wedlock with different partners.
@@VirtuousWoman1143when he’s yelling “ yo “ or saying anything as a woman walks by instead of properly walking up to them and greeting them respectfully
So true. I was dating a man 2 years ago who would gaze at other women. Me, him and my 2 nephews were out for drinks one night. He was starring at another woman and whispered to my nephew "Ooo her waist is so small, she fine." He knew I was actively working on losing my belly fat/body fat. Two weeks later i ghosted his ass with no explanation and he tried to come back but I moved tf on. ✌🏽
For the ladies if a Guy expresses that he doesn't see the worth of a woman in his life relationally beyond sex and being his personal house maid, go on bout yo business.
yes of beyond making babies..some men would be fine with your legs closed because they want to marry a woman who never opened them and simply want to use her body for children..he d steal the children too..
Always trying to break your boundaries. Keep asking to come to your house and addressing you by names that you ask him not to because your relationship is not on that term. Not doing what they said they would do. Getting angry because they can't have their way with you; so childish. Giving me a headache. I hear you Tony! Got to go!
Never will I stay with a grown boy who hangs up on me when the conversation doesn’t go the direction he wants. It’s happened to me twice. Once was a guy who would brag about how he “ used to” sleep with married women, the other was a bipolar flaming hot mess.
Observe their phone habits. Everything you need to know about a guy is how they handle their phone. Is it silent, do they answer calls around you, his social media? Just from cheating experience :(
Having a person that encourages YOU! Speak on it Tony! I remember being with someone who didn’t like to laugh or smile. This made me feel like I had to dim my light and not be my authentic self. Ladies be with someone who wants to see you smile and enjoy life. ☺️
Me as well…my current relationship my husband wants me to be dimmed and I don’t like that at all… he’s always unhappy and thinks materials will help his unhappiness. Also he wants all the attention and that’s so unhealthy to me
Feels like I'm going to be single forever. Its too difficult. Too many people got to go. I think in this day and age we all need to get used to being single and find joy and other things
I agree because the truth is all of us aren't going to get married although it sounds good. There's so much going on and there's more good women than there are men unfortunately.
@@anissa2361, you are absolutely right when I think of all the red flags most of the guys have dated in the past had these red flags and I just tolerated it. I feel like the only way I'm going to get married is if I put up with some bad behaviour from men and just stay with them. Which I don't want to do because getting in a bad relationship can actually kill you. and yes there's more women and more competition now, is definitely not the 90s anymore I just don't feel like it's going to happen for me. I'm definitely not going to get plastic surgery to become the world's ideal woman. I believe I'm attractive but I do not have the hourglass figure that everybody desires.
I have already came to grips with this.. I'm quick to cut them off.. God has to develop this man before he get to me and since God doesn't need my assistance I'm just relaxing and learning all I can to know my next move. I'm the prize. The Queen in my femininity.
Gosh, this makes lots of sense. No wonder I'm fed up with my ex. Inconsistent, managing money poorly, poor communication, marijuana addiction, too attached to their mother and aunt, gambling, emotional intelligence was terrible too. 🚩🚩🚩
Lord have mercy. Girl at least my former husband was a non-smoker but he had very low integrity and turned to abusing me when he didn't get what he wanted in life.
I don't know how do you happen to end up with people like that. I heard my aunt say that the way a man gets a woman interested is through her ears. Maybe women are subceptible to flattering.
It seems like almost everyone that I know or know of are in horrible relationships. I use to think that being single was "a curse", but actually from the things I see others going through that are in a relationship well I think I'll stick to being single a little while longer 😅
PRay and ask the lord to send you a Christian man that love Jesus Christ first of all because they will treat you like the way the lord wants him to treat you don’t get in a hurry and settle take your time let God lead you in that wayy
Of course they are 5/6 men tried to approach me recently and the conversation was all about them .. they show no real interest but they approach you !!!
Another thing I always wonder why the older women mostly widows would tell you to take your time or don't rush marriage because it's more to it than what others are telling you. Or I just had a women tell me baby you doing fine, leave that alone, live your life.
Be aware as well of someone who just “appeases” you when you come to them with a concern. Appeasing is not resolving anything and it’s a sign of an avoidant person.
My jaw dropped when he said the statement about not saving. My ex literally said the exact sentence that he doesn’t save and blows his money and “he’ll just go make more”. He would borrow from me and his mom and brother. And my crazy tail let him. The last straw was when he put a chain on layaway and was bragging about the details on it. But I begged for over half the relationship to be taken places and do cute small things, and be surprised a little. He acted like he didn’t have the funds and acted confused that I expected that. I just wanted bare minimum and he couldn’t provide 😭 he was so caught up, we were to different and he had to go lol
Coparenting and boundaries !!!!!! If the person who your dating can not set boundaries with the baby mom or dad it’s a red flag. Sometimes the baby mother or dad is still in love with the ex. They WILL TRY TO USE THE CHILDREN as a way to sabotage the new relationship that the ex is in.
This man I was with downplayed me in front of my face & I ignored it because I was desperate for a relationship. I’am now glad I’m not in that relationship anymore.
Haha! I dated a guy who complained about me wearing a scarf and glasses to bed, which he’d already knew then. But I didn’t complain about his jacked up teeth, because I loved him for him. Go figure!! And he thought he was fine too!
Some people who don't have good relationships with their family often resent you for healthy family relationships. Sometimes they try and isolate you from your family. This is the other extreme of what Tony mentioned.
Those unhealed spirits! I was doing this at one point of my life but so glad now I look at healthy families with joy and hope and pray for them and for me to build my own healthy family❤
This is an excellent video and a blueprint singles. I co sign on all that is being said. Basically you want to align yourself with someone who shares your core values and morals. I let someone go and told him I was not interested in seeing him anymore after second date when I found out he had poor ambition and not a good relationship with his parents. Poor or no relationships with your parents means you probably won't have a good relationship with me either. Goodbye.
Did he explain why he didn’t have a relationship with his family? Some people have very dysfunctional family members so it’s not always a red flag unless there is a reason.
What if they had to isolate from toxic parental upbringing? Have you ever been raised by narcissist parents? God commands not to be unequally joked with unbelievers, and that includes unbelieving family.
I needed this at the age of 19 to Protect myself. I never learned this knowledge from my parents.... so Thank You Tony 🙏🏾 I'm looking forward to that book!
Sometimes partners do the opposite also and sabotage your fitness a huge 🚩. I’ve been there , the moment your in the gym getting healthy, omg there a baby on the way. Ladies be aware of this too. Great warning signs Mr.Gaskins
I've had one or two try and sabotage my "Me Time". If they're calling 5 minutes before they know you're about to take yourself out, that's a no go for me.
On a side note for all who is reading this. 'SIT WITH YOUR SPIRIT LISTEN TO IT" that is the truest story told. I had that revelation this Monday. When Tony say it, it is not just for show. Its real business. Just my testimony
It’s true. Had a guy friend after years, when I was drunk ask if I wanted to hook up. It sobered me up quickly, it was a shock. Said no and never bought it up again.
@@skyfall1481 wow. It was scummy that he waited until you were drunk to ask that, hoping the alcohol would inhibit your judgement. Now he's hoping you just don't remember it. He'll try it again in the future if you keep him around. He's only hoping that you'll change your mind in the future. That's the only thing he's waiting around for. That's been the experience with EVERY ONE of my past male friends.
Unfortunately I know all too well regarding boundaries. I really like this particular guy, however, I already see that if we were to get into a relationship he probably wouldn't be able to set boundaries with the mothers of his children. I just decided to step aside to avoid getting my feelings hurt or getting too deep involved.
I wish I had known about you years ago Tony. The last two men in my life had every red flag you talked about. Every single one. But now I know, and I won't make that mistake ever again. Thank you Tony.
Tony, everything you are saying is what I just walked away from. It was a bad relationship, it was the verbal abuse for me. I don't have the time or the patience anymore, cause one thing love cannot or never be is unsure.
Spot on:) Thank you for your honesty. Your wisdom has helped me with my personal life and my work life. The bible tells us that God's people are destroyed for a lack of knowledge. Thank you again for the continued knowledge.
You be preaching and I love it!!! I always thought I was selfish for not tolerating anyone I date to have female friends kus I don’t believe in that! You just confirmed everything I stand on the entire video!!!! ❤love it
Tony you forgot to mention this: If you believe in wearing wigs or weaves and he doesn't believe that women should wear wigs or weaves and he makes a big deal out of it, then he's gotta g🙂 !
Wow! Sigh this is almost a validation but also sad one that I picked the wrong guy. My ex husband within a week of us dating become friends with a girl that was friends with his ex girlfriend. I figured it was nothing but they starting going to movies and dinner together where he paid. I was so confused like what was happening here. He kept telling me he wasn’t her type and I said women don’t talk to men about emotional stuff and not eventually catch feelings. Long story short. I found some damning texts where I love you was exchanged and it’s going to be easier now that we’re not in the same state. He was in Florida with her for the first year of our relationship while I lived in Ohio before we moved to a different state for his job. Fast forward 6ish years later, divorced and there were signs he entertained another woman as well. Found condoms in his car which was very usual for him to carry. I was very green when I met him. I’m from a strict African background so lessons like these were not thought to me. I knew it was an issue but he made me feel I was being insecure about him having female friends.
All this is very true!! I just did a 2 part series talk with similar points speaking to both men and women so we get on the same page and understand what's required to have a healthy relationship. I believe being equally yoked in morals, values, principles and standards is key as well. Being single is not curse, it's a blessing and a time to take care of you and your life. Great video🙏
Thank you for this video. It confirmed a elegant dismissal I had to do to a gentlemen. After the conversation my spirit would not sit still. That morning my mind would not sit still. I know I had to make that our first and last conversation.
FUN. You wanna laugh, they say ain't nothing funny. You want to see the world, they don't wanna step outside the city limits. They are actually content doing nothing. Which to each their own. But if you know you enjoy getting out, pay attention if they do not. Tony you can add that to your book but when you do send me a check, LOL! I'm joking!
Wow this taught me so much. I had no idea I was being discouraging by telling my ex he looked fine but he could hit the gym or I loved his hair but he should get a haircut 😔 I’m so glad I was able to learn the right way to do it 😭 kinda wish I knew this sooner but I’m glad I know now! God bless you Tony Gaskins 🙏🏽
I have a male best friend since 2000. Never crossed boundaries & when he’s with or I’m with someone we respect boundaries. I have had so called friends males who have definitely tried me. To each their own. Some truth, but I have several male friends strictly platonic. It’s doable, but respect is definitely the foundation of true friendship with anyone. ❤️ great video💌
Tony, what you do for this world is a blessing. If people tapped into what you are saying, we would be so much more well off. Thank you for what you do.
I've lived what you're saying. Opposite gender friends and same gender ones that don't have their own relationship or proper level of respect for the privacy of yours are detriment to a relationship. Popping up at your house, calling too much, not knowing when to go home. I already knew it, they didn't agree. 🤔.
Well said, Please be mindful that men & women are made up different, so the whole outlook is viewed from opposite perspectives. Which also causes mixed messages.
This is soooo good! Wish I had this knowledge 20 years ago!! Please listen to Tony about the “too much closeness with family/no privacy and if y’all have a difference in fitness ideas.” It sounds trivial but it’s not. Taking this advice will save you from a divorce or marrying the wrong person. You and your partner really have to like each other’s “habits” to be able to live together long term. Please don’t ignore this message.
Bro Tony, am so grateful for this single / Ready videos they are truly a blessing very informative. Am learning alot so much wisdom. God Bless you 🙏🏾❤️
@@danyelgarcia3689 this is when they promise you things you want to hear for the future, such as I’ll move near you so we can be together, I’ll get a better job for us, I’ll take you on trips. They basically promise stuff they can’t do in the present but this stuff never happens.
@@wagendorf31 oh ok, that's what I just walked away from. When I addressed why we couldn't just do some of those things now he mentioned he had a problem with procrastination. I replied that makes you look like a liar. I didn't want to deal with it, plus God told me to walk away.
@@danyelgarcia3689 good for you for identifying that and going no contact. Happy to hear that. No, don’t waste your time on such nonsense and toxicity. Those are clowns.
I had a guy tell me that he was serious about a relationship with me because he was getting a job. Okay. He was trying to do that before he met me. And it's not like he's going to quit his job if the relationship doesn't work out.... Look out for those kind of lame excuses like that. Sometimes, you just have to sit and think for some time about the conversations you have and have to ask yourself if what was said even make sense.
I know that’s going to be a learning experience! Can’t wait for the 60 and over class 🙏💕Be blessed🙏💕I did not have this knowledge in my 20’s so young ladies believe Tony when he tells you 🙏💕
I dated a guy that failed in all the f categories..but never made me feel bad about myself..he always showed genuine interest in me physically..never complained about us spending too much time together and was not cheap with me..it was hard to break up because of those things but the 5 main F categories he suffered in and I tried helping but realized that those major F factors were too important for me to keep over looking
The biggest problem with ppl in relationship's is their financial,s alotta of em only care about the money and materialistic shit like it's going last forever and they don't care bout the what's genuine or really matters
Lots of great info here but I beg to differ with having a male best friend. I’ve had a male best friend since 3rd grade…no funny business, flirting, or messing around. I have met and become friends with a few of his girlfriends over the years. Every male / female friendship doesn’t involve the hanky panky.
God said all my food is good as long as you pray over it and not eat in access because anything that is too much is not good for you. You must maintain a balance in your life. Keep the word of God at all times and repent if you fall short sometimes.
I am 61, was alone for over 5 years. Met a great guy but got intimate . 9 months in, the Spirit was all over me for 3weeks to stop being intimate with the guy. So I told him and of course he didn't like it, but oh well. We will see what happens.
Plus they talk to multiple women through texting and they get away with not committing to a relationship. I was in a relationship with a guy who was keeping multiple women on the hook through texting and when I went through his phone I aways wondered how these women didn't know that this man was living with a woman.
Not always, I mean we live in a social media world so everyone texts over phone calls, just a reality, I don't mind the texting because I'm young and grew up with the culture, as long as we talk in person when meeting up then it's all good to me. Talking in person beats texting and phone calls because I get to see his reactions and body language. Text and phone calls always gives me wrong signals. But no it's not a Biggie for me x
Things can get lost in translation in texting. You can't get to know them, their voice their facial expressions, via text. You want to get to know your person IN PERSON.
God told me it wasn’t a good fit for me. No matter how we tried, something always came up. We couldn’t handle disagreements and fights. He called and sent some heart provoking texts, I didn’t respond. So we just parted ways. Let Go And Let God.
"When have you ever seen an eagle with a turkey." LOL all of my ex's friends were not saved or they were married and cheated on their wives... I don't recall him having 1 wholesome friend >.
If their primary source of communication with you is texting- that’s a red flag 🚩
Lol. Omg. I just wrote something about this
Right!
I wish I would have seen this years ago! Oh well you live and you learn
Period!you can not build a relationship based on text messages
@God's CHOSEN 1 I’m talking about in the beginning stages. No one can learn you via text in the beginning😒. Text is like reading a book. You don’t know how the characters look so you imagine it, you don’t know what they sound like or what their mannerisms are so you imagine it. How many times have you read a book then went to watch the movie based on the book and thought to yourself that the book was better or the characters were different. The point is somebody can be anybody behind spelling Bc words are just that, spells. Don’t confuse people smh
Someone who promises a lot, but never follows through.
🙌
Now thats a big one.
Huge one
🤔🤔🤔
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Refusing to call you on the phone after expressing that as a standard. They are juggling multiple people.
💯
🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽
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Attentiveness is a big one. No matter how busy someone is, they will make time for whats important to them. Emotional intelligence is a big one for me too. I can't stand someone who flies off the handle. 💯
💯
Same for me .. but they can make time and see you and they don’t pay attention to what you say ! Big no too
@@irlandaise5631 exactly. Gotta be attentive across the board
Please do not date Donate wright from Baltimore. He has all the red flags
Watch his energy. If he not calling you everyday in the dating process. He isn't really into you. Red Flag I think he is either in a relationship or just not that into you.
Women Intuition. Ladies we all have it
You'd think so
Be very “Sensitive” in your spirit. Pay extremely attention Ladies!
And gentleman too
So sad to hear some of you have given up… hearing women say “ I’ve come to realize I’m going to be single”😢 Don’t let the devil still your desires for a husband…”Ye of little faith” God did not design for us to be alone… if we want husbands we have to act like wives… Legs closed, hands up, and feet in the ground… keep your legs closed, continue to pray and seek God, and keep doing God’s work which is your purpose…I’m single and I know as horrible as this dating pool looks, God is preparing my husband for me…we have to remember “When a man finds a wife he finds a good thing”! Instead of preparing for him, some of y’all counting yourselves out or settling for less…stop and wait… remember who and whose you are!!!👑💛🥰
💯Amen!
Amen!
Amen Sis very well said,I touch and agree🙏
Beautifully stated!
Yes... Come on preach tht thang
Please please pay attention to red flags before you’re stuck in a soul tie
YES!!
Big flirt is a red flag. Checking people out and cat calling is a red flag. A person lives with a woman they are not married to. Have children out of wedlock with different partners.
WHATS CAT CALLING ?
@@VirtuousWoman1143when he’s yelling “ yo “ or saying anything as a woman walks by instead of properly walking up to them and greeting them respectfully
So true. I was dating a man 2 years ago who would gaze at other women. Me, him and my 2 nephews were out for drinks one night. He was starring at another woman and whispered to my nephew "Ooo her waist is so small, she fine." He knew I was actively working on losing my belly fat/body fat. Two weeks later i ghosted his ass with no explanation and he tried to come back but I moved tf on. ✌🏽
For the ladies if a Guy expresses that he doesn't see the worth of a woman in his life relationally beyond sex and being his personal house maid, go on bout yo business.
yes of beyond making babies..some men would be fine with your legs closed because they want to marry a woman who never opened them and simply want to use her body for children..he d steal the children too..
👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
Yeah a man once said to me it's my job his nuts must be empty and his stomach full. I was shocked like bitch what ?
Tony I had a man tell me he wants to be married but doesn’t want to wear a ring because he doesn’t wear jewelry 🤨🤨 yeah I got my track shoes
That's not odd. In Some cultures, men don't wear rings.
“bestfriends” have always been my biggest red flag!
I remember wheñ I was growing up my mom used to say in Spanish , "Tell me who you are with and I will tell you who you are" God bless my mom! 🤗
It’s the same in English- tell me who your friends are and I’ll tell you who you are.
What if I dont have a precise friend group?
Am I no one or number one? ☝️💯
A very wise mother!!!
who you hang out with is who you become!
Always trying to break your boundaries. Keep asking to come to your house and addressing you by names that you ask him not to because your relationship is not on that term. Not doing what they said they would do. Getting angry because they can't have their way with you; so childish. Giving me a headache. I hear you Tony! Got to go!
👌
❤️💯👟
Never will I stay with a grown boy who hangs up on me when the conversation doesn’t go the direction he wants. It’s happened to me twice. Once was a guy who would brag about how he “ used to” sleep with married women, the other was a bipolar flaming hot mess.
Observe their phone habits. Everything you need to know about a guy is how they handle their phone. Is it silent, do they answer calls around you, his social media? Just from cheating experience :(
Orrrrrrr... Scrolling through social media constantly while they are at dinner with you. 😳 (Just ended that nightmare last weekend)
Yes!
Having a person that encourages YOU! Speak on it Tony! I remember being with someone who didn’t like to laugh or smile. This made me feel like I had to dim my light and not be my authentic self. Ladies be with someone who wants to see you smile and enjoy life. ☺️
Me as well…my current relationship my husband wants me to be dimmed and I don’t like that at all… he’s always unhappy and thinks materials will help his unhappiness. Also he wants all the attention and that’s so unhealthy to me
good point
Feels like I'm going to be single forever. Its too difficult.
Too many people got to go.
I think in this day and age we all need to get used to being single and find joy and other things
I agree because the truth is all of us aren't going to get married although it sounds good. There's so much going on and there's more good women than there are men unfortunately.
@@anissa2361, you are absolutely right when I think of all the red flags most of the guys have dated in the past had these red flags and I just tolerated it.
I feel like the only way I'm going to get married is if I put up with some bad behaviour from men and just stay with them.
Which I don't want to do because getting in a bad relationship can actually kill you.
and yes there's more women and more competition now, is definitely not the 90s anymore I just don't feel like it's going to happen for me.
I'm definitely not going to get plastic surgery to become the world's ideal woman. I believe I'm attractive but I do not have the hourglass figure that everybody desires.
I have already came to grips with this.. I'm quick to cut them off.. God has to develop this man before he get to me and since God doesn't need my assistance I'm just relaxing and learning all I can to know my next move. I'm the prize. The Queen in my femininity.
Smh…I hear ya sista!😞
Yup. I bought a whole bunch of beauty crap. And binge watch crap
Gosh, this makes lots of sense. No wonder I'm fed up with my ex. Inconsistent, managing money poorly, poor communication, marijuana addiction, too attached to their mother and aunt, gambling, emotional intelligence was terrible too. 🚩🚩🚩
Lord have mercy. Girl at least my former husband was a non-smoker but he had very low integrity and turned to abusing me when he didn't get what he wanted in life.
Damn .....been there done that ....run 🏃
Haha did we date the same person!? 😂 this guy had a best friend in his momma and aunt! SoCal
WOW SNOOP DOGG SWEARS WEED MAKE YOU GREATLY FOCUSED.🤔🤣🤔🤣🤔
I don't know how do you happen to end up with people like that. I heard my aunt say that the way a man gets a woman interested is through her ears. Maybe women are subceptible to flattering.
It seems like almost everyone that I know or know of are in horrible relationships. I use to think that being single was "a curse", but actually from the things I see others going through that are in a relationship well I think I'll stick to being single a little while longer 😅
PRay and ask the lord to send you a Christian man that love Jesus Christ first of all because they will treat you like the way the lord wants him to treat you don’t get in a hurry and settle take your time let God lead you in that wayy
Yes I heard its the secret to beautiful youthful aging stress free.
I have friends that stay hoping in a relationship one after another now they have drama with the boyfriends family 🤦🏽♀️
Of course they are 5/6 men tried to approach me recently and the conversation was all about them .. they show no real interest but they approach you !!!
Another thing I always wonder why the older women mostly widows would tell you to take your time or don't rush marriage because it's more to it than what others are telling you. Or I just had a women tell me baby you doing fine, leave that alone, live your life.
Be aware as well of someone who just “appeases” you when you come to them with a concern. Appeasing is not resolving anything and it’s a sign of an avoidant person.
THIS!
WHAT DOES IT MEAN WHEN THEY TALK CONDESCENDING TO ALL OF YOUR IDEAS ?
My jaw dropped when he said the statement about not saving. My ex literally said the exact sentence that he doesn’t save and blows his money and “he’ll just go make more”. He would borrow from me and his mom and brother. And my crazy tail let him. The last straw was when he put a chain on layaway and was bragging about the details on it. But I begged for over half the relationship to be taken places and do cute small things, and be surprised a little. He acted like he didn’t have the funds and acted confused that I expected that. I just wanted bare minimum and he couldn’t provide 😭 he was so caught up, we were to different and he had to go lol
HE WAS CHEAP OR BROKE & WANTED U TO SPEND YOUR MONEY.
I love Tony’s accent (I’m from the South) but he had me rolling when he put that extra drawl on MACKnuggets 😆
Manipulation is real, and it comes in slick forms making you feel insecure for real!
I dated him last year!
I needed this series 30+ years ago. 💯
I needed it in 2006 when I met my former husband. I wouldn't have given him the time of day.
Yes
It is never too late to make things right
Same but it’s never too late Sistah💕
Aww it's ok. It's never to late
Coparenting and boundaries !!!!!!
If the person who your dating can not set boundaries with the baby mom or dad it’s a red flag. Sometimes the baby mother or dad is still in love with the ex. They WILL TRY TO USE THE CHILDREN as a way to sabotage the new relationship that the ex is in.
Boundaries are important…
This man I was with downplayed me in front of my face & I ignored it because I was desperate for a relationship. I’am now glad I’m not in that relationship anymore.
The red flags were there from the start and I took them lightly,now i'm unhappily married,so True,wish I can reverse things😥😥
Haha! I dated a guy who complained about me wearing a scarf and glasses to bed, which he’d already knew then. But I didn’t complain about his jacked up teeth, because I loved him for him. Go figure!! And he thought he was fine too!
Whoo chile 🤣
Most of them think like this.
Why would he complain about that?
@@j-tenn226 right, I mean men are visual but geez your girl be looking good 24/7 almost you can’t let her take a rest while going to bed 😂
I laughed way too hard at this comment.🤣🤣🤣🤣
“If this person does not…., (family , friends, faith, finance, and fitness) you got to go! “ TG
Some people who don't have good relationships with their family often resent you for healthy family relationships. Sometimes they try and isolate you from your family. This is the other extreme of what Tony mentioned.
Those unhealed spirits! I was doing this at one point of my life but so glad now I look at healthy families with joy and hope and pray for them and for me to build my own healthy family❤
“If you ain’t happy about your weight just say that.”🤣🤣🤣🤣
This is an excellent video and a blueprint singles. I co sign on all that is being said. Basically you want to align yourself with someone who shares your core values and morals. I let someone go and told him I was not interested in seeing him anymore after second date when I found out he had poor ambition and not a good relationship with his parents. Poor or no relationships with your parents means you probably won't have a good relationship with me either. Goodbye.
Agreed. I went out with this man, family is from Armenia. When he said he didn't have a relationship with no one in his family, I was out. 🏃♂️
Did he explain why he didn’t have a relationship with his family? Some people have very dysfunctional family members so it’s not always a red flag unless there is a reason.
@@bougiegal2074 Yep!
What if they had to isolate from toxic parental upbringing? Have you ever been raised by narcissist parents?
God commands not to be unequally joked with unbelievers, and that includes unbelieving family.
I needed this at the age of 19 to Protect myself. I never learned this knowledge from my parents.... so Thank You Tony 🙏🏾 I'm looking forward to that book!
O God cut every evil wicked soul tie that's in our lives in Jesus mighty name!!!!
Amen 🙏
Pay attention! He’s speaking facts I’ve lived some of this and got out. The signs don’t ignore them.
Sometimes partners do the opposite also and sabotage your fitness a huge 🚩. I’ve been there , the moment your in the gym getting healthy, omg there a baby on the way. Ladies be aware of this too. Great warning signs Mr.Gaskins
I've had one or two try and sabotage my "Me Time". If they're calling 5 minutes before they know you're about to take yourself out, that's a no go for me.
Ladies, the man in your life should love you from the inside out. He should not put you down...ever!
“Dr. Gym NOT Dr. Jim” 😂😂🤣
On a side note for all who is reading this. 'SIT WITH YOUR SPIRIT LISTEN TO IT" that is the truest story told. I had that revelation this Monday. When Tony say it, it is not just for show. Its real business. Just my testimony
I've had so many guy friends whom I thought just wanted friendship. I had been wrong though. And so I simply can't have guy friends at all.
It’s true. Had a guy friend after years, when I was drunk ask if I wanted to hook up. It sobered me up quickly, it was a shock. Said no and never bought it up again.
@@skyfall1481 wow. It was scummy that he waited until you were drunk to ask that, hoping the alcohol would inhibit your judgement. Now he's hoping you just don't remember it.
He'll try it again in the future if you keep him around. He's only hoping that you'll change your mind in the future. That's the only thing he's waiting around for.
That's been the experience with EVERY ONE of my past male friends.
Unfortunately I know all too well regarding boundaries. I really like this particular guy, however, I already see that if we were to get into a relationship he probably wouldn't be able to set boundaries with the mothers of his children. I just decided to step aside to avoid getting my feelings hurt or getting too deep involved.
Pay attention to their actions, not their words
I wish I had known about you years ago Tony. The last two men in my life had every red flag you talked about. Every single one. But now I know, and I won't make that mistake ever again. Thank you Tony.
Tony, everything you are saying is what I just walked away from. It was a bad relationship, it was the verbal abuse for me. I don't have the time or the patience anymore, cause one thing love cannot or never be is unsure.
When Tony said, “If you wanna crunch on some kale straight out the bag or some raw bell peppers 🥬 🫑”
I was too tickled 😩🤣😂🤣
Me too 🤣😂🤣
No not the McNuggets and kale!🤣 That really is a good idea. At least you're getting your veggies in and not fries.😋 Thanks for the red flags. 🚩
Spot on:) Thank you for your honesty. Your wisdom has helped me with my personal life and my work life. The bible tells us that God's people are destroyed for a lack of knowledge. Thank you again for the continued knowledge.
“when have you seen an eagle with a turkey” 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂👌🏾👌🏾
He said, “chicken MACnuggets from MIKEdonalds”--😂🤣😂☠️☠️☠️
You be preaching and I love it!!! I always thought I was selfish for not tolerating anyone I date to have female friends kus I don’t believe in that! You just confirmed everything I stand on the entire video!!!! ❤love it
Your videos have really helped me during my break up. Thank you 🙏
Tony you forgot to mention this: If you believe in wearing wigs or weaves and he doesn't believe that women should wear wigs or weaves and he makes a big deal out of it, then he's gotta g🙂 !
Wanting to move in too soon! Like 3 months etc! I’ve met a lot of guys who thinks just because we exclusive we should stay together before marriage!
They are called Hobosexuals lol
Hell no, I ain’t moving in with no man until marriage. No siree. Not getting any of my benefits.
@@j-tenn226 I know that’s right! They be wanting a key in 3 weeks !
If you give the husband treatment to a grown boy that's all he thinks you want
@@childofgodskingdom8403 then he'll play you.
Wow! Sigh this is almost a validation but also sad one that I picked the wrong guy. My ex husband within a week of us dating become friends with a girl that was friends with his ex girlfriend. I figured it was nothing but they starting going to movies and dinner together where he paid. I was so confused like what was happening here. He kept telling me he wasn’t her type and I said women don’t talk to men about emotional stuff and not eventually catch feelings. Long story short. I found some damning texts where I love you was exchanged and it’s going to be easier now that we’re not in the same state. He was in Florida with her for the first year of our relationship while I lived in Ohio before we moved to a different state for his job. Fast forward 6ish years later, divorced and there were signs he entertained another woman as well. Found condoms in his car which was very usual for him to carry. I was very green when I met him. I’m from a strict African background so lessons like these were not thought to me. I knew it was an issue but he made me feel I was being insecure about him having female friends.
All this is very true!! I just did a 2 part series talk with similar points speaking to both men and women so we get on the same page and understand what's required to have a healthy relationship. I believe being equally yoked in morals, values, principles and standards is key as well. Being single is not curse, it's a blessing and a time to take care of you and your life. Great video🙏
Thank you for this video. It confirmed a elegant dismissal I had to do to a gentlemen. After the conversation my spirit would not sit still. That morning my mind would not sit still. I know I had to make that our first and last conversation.
Go on about yo business....best advice ever....you have a life beyond this person and will not compromise your business for someone's bad behavior
“Mac-nuggets” Tony? You are crazy
😂🤣 Mac nuggets & Kale. This is so true though. Unhealthy food habits are so unattractive.
FUN. You wanna laugh, they say ain't nothing funny. You want to see the world, they don't wanna step outside the city limits. They are actually content doing nothing. Which to each their own. But if you know you enjoy getting out, pay attention if they do not. Tony you can add that to your book but when you do send me a check, LOL! I'm joking!
Lol, I heard that! Pamela said.. SHOW ME THE MONEY!
Wow this taught me so much. I had no idea I was being discouraging by telling my ex he looked fine but he could hit the gym or I loved his hair but he should get a haircut 😔 I’m so glad I was able to learn the right way to do it 😭 kinda wish I knew this sooner but I’m glad I know now! God bless you Tony Gaskins 🙏🏽
I have a male best friend since 2000. Never crossed boundaries & when he’s with or I’m with someone we respect boundaries. I have had so called friends males who have definitely tried me. To each their own. Some truth, but I have several male friends strictly platonic. It’s doable, but respect is definitely the foundation of true friendship with anyone. ❤️ great video💌
Tony, what you do for this world is a blessing. If people tapped into what you are saying, we would be so much more well off. Thank you for what you do.
Wow this is amazing knowledge 👏🏾
Thank you.
I am 28 and ready to get back into the game
I've lived what you're saying.
Opposite gender friends and same gender ones that don't have their own relationship or proper level of respect for the privacy of yours are detriment to a relationship. Popping up at your house, calling too much, not knowing when to go home.
I already knew it, they didn't agree. 🤔.
I HATE LIARSSSSSSSSSS! U NEVER LEARN THE REAL THEM
We all know you mean well tony!!!! And it comes from the heart!!! God bless you and your family!!!!🥰
Well said,
Please be mindful that men & women are made up different, so the whole outlook is viewed from opposite perspectives. Which also causes mixed messages.
Everything you said is so true I hope your viewers listen. I found this out to late and have to start over at 40. Thank you Tony.
He said your children gone be eating Mc nuggets with kale 😂😂😂 so find a partner with mutual foundational beliefs. 😂Tony cracks me up!
A lot of these reds flags are my dealbreakers they gotta go I’m good 😊
This is soooo good! Wish I had this knowledge 20 years ago!! Please listen to Tony about the “too much closeness with family/no privacy and if y’all have a difference in fitness ideas.” It sounds trivial but it’s not. Taking this advice will save you from a divorce or marrying the wrong person. You and your partner really have to like each other’s “habits” to be able to live together long term. Please don’t ignore this message.
Eagles 🦅 don’t fly with pigeons 🐦
Bro Tony, am so grateful for this single / Ready videos they are truly a blessing very informative. Am learning alot so much wisdom. God Bless you 🙏🏾❤️
Yes Lord. Make sure you meet the relatives.
speaking facts!!! i know i’m not crazy.. someone has been telling me otherwise about close girl friends 🤦🏽♀️
Don’t do it
Thank you so much for these, dating can become confusing got to watch the red flags and hold accountability in ourselves
This was an awesome video! But I laughed out loud multiple times. Tony, you are really wise and naturally HILARIOUS!!! Keep it up.
Tony, thanks I have to go back and look over my list of dealbreakers.
Hey..I wanna say Thank you ....I prayed for a situationship and you popped up on my UA-cam..and I been Blessed since then.
She don't say - Get your hair line sprayed on 🤣🤣😂😂
If you raw vegan vs somebody who wants MakeDonalds makenuggets everyday, that is definitely a red flag. Thank you Tony, I needed to hear this today.
If they future fake or ghost you, run!
What's future fake?
@@danyelgarcia3689 this is when they promise you things you want to hear for the future, such as I’ll move near you so we can be together, I’ll get a better job for us, I’ll take you on trips. They basically promise stuff they can’t do in the present but this stuff never happens.
@@wagendorf31 oh ok, that's what I just walked away from. When I addressed why we couldn't just do some of those things now he mentioned he had a problem with procrastination. I replied that makes you look like a liar. I didn't want to deal with it, plus God told me to walk away.
@@danyelgarcia3689 good for you for identifying that and going no contact. Happy to hear that. No, don’t waste your time on such nonsense and toxicity. Those are clowns.
I had a guy tell me that he was serious about a relationship with me because he was getting a job.
Okay.
He was trying to do that before he met me. And it's not like he's going to quit his job if the relationship doesn't work out....
Look out for those kind of lame excuses like that. Sometimes, you just have to sit and think for some time about the conversations you have and have to ask yourself if what was said even make sense.
I know that’s going to be a learning experience! Can’t wait for the 60 and over class 🙏💕Be blessed🙏💕I did not have this knowledge in my 20’s so young ladies believe Tony when he tells you 🙏💕
I dated a guy that failed in all the f categories..but never made me feel bad about myself..he always showed genuine interest in me physically..never complained about us spending too much time together and was not cheap with me..it was hard to break up because of those things but the 5 main F categories he suffered in and I tried helping but realized that those major F factors were too important for me to keep over looking
The biggest problem with ppl in relationship's is their financial,s alotta of em only care about the money and materialistic shit like it's going last forever and they don't care bout the what's genuine or really matters
Lol. Mr. Gaskins said an addiction to reading. That is me. I don't let it get in the way of my life though.
Lots of great info here but I beg to differ with having a male best friend. I’ve had a male best friend since 3rd grade…no funny business, flirting, or messing around. I have met and become friends with a few of his girlfriends over the years. Every male / female friendship doesn’t involve the hanky panky.
God said all my food is good as long as you pray over it and not eat in access because anything that is too much is not good for you. You must maintain a balance in your life. Keep the word of God at all times and repent if you fall short sometimes.
True facts men usually want close to what they are
I am 61, was alone for over 5 years. Met a great guy but got intimate . 9 months in, the Spirit was all over me for 3weeks to stop being intimate with the guy. So I told him and of course he didn't like it, but oh well. We will see what happens.
You still dealing with this man smh
Still married but separated and said they are in no rush to get a divorce and said he got to have a reason and right now he don't
Where are the men who think like this cuz I agree this is why I don't have male friends
Doctor Jesus got it 😭😭😭😂
He wants to move in with you less than a month of dating, that’s a red flag 🚩.
“Vegan, throwing up in ya mouth” 🤣🤣🤣 took me out Tony! Cut it out! Love it!
Hi Tony can you do a video on why guys want to text vs talking on the phone? It’s annoying but kind of a red flag to me.
Because In texting they can disappear when the conversation gets uncomfortable and say they’re “
busy”.
@@j-tenn226 you are exactly right! Or we could both misconstrue some things in text.
Plus they talk to multiple women through texting and they get away with not committing to a relationship. I was in a relationship with a guy who was keeping multiple women on the hook through texting and when I went through his phone I aways wondered how these women didn't know that this man was living with a woman.
Not always, I mean we live in a social media world so everyone texts over phone calls, just a reality, I don't mind the texting because I'm young and grew up with the culture, as long as we talk in person when meeting up then it's all good to me. Talking in person beats texting and phone calls because I get to see his reactions and body language. Text and phone calls always gives me wrong signals. But no it's not a Biggie for me x
Things can get lost in translation in texting. You can't get to know them, their voice their facial expressions, via text. You want to get to know your person IN PERSON.
God told me it wasn’t a good fit for me. No matter how we tried, something always came up. We couldn’t handle disagreements and fights. He called and sent some heart provoking texts, I didn’t respond. So we just parted ways.
Let Go And Let God.
"When have you ever seen an eagle with a turkey." LOL all of my ex's friends were not saved or they were married and cheated on their wives... I don't recall him having 1 wholesome friend >.