I started being abused at family reunions when I was 4 and maybe even before that and my family has military and police and CIA and medical and lawyer and NSA and NASA ties. They try to say people are bipolar or schizophrenic if you report abuse. To cope you end up blocking out a lot.
Dang, Amanda. Your realization stuff about how your family was treating you sounds like a very hard realization to come to, but it sounds like you've made a very healthy decision for yourself. That shows a lot of growth.
I hope this doesn't come out wrong. I have always enjoyed working with people in recovery (nurse here). Their fearless self awareness and acceptance and forgiveness of short comings in themselves and others is challenging and comforting. You three remind me of them. Thank you.
would definitely love to see more "women's panels" in the future. always love hearing more of your story, melissa, and its great to hear from joanna and Amanda too!
I am not in any way shape or form connected to the FLDS, LDS or Kingston group. I grew up Jehovah’s Witness, but the way you guys summed up the video at the end with advice hit me very hard (in a great way), so thank you ♥️
@Caitlin Stebbins- are you still J.W. or did you leave? I studied with for 5 years in my 20's. I had questions people never could answer, but also couldn't clearly answer, outside 'well, they don't celebrate Christmas ', etc.....I wanted answers to WHY they don't do certain things. I studied long enough that my next steps would be quit smoking, go out in service, and get baptized. I chose not to.... Already had accepted Christ into my heart and got baptized as a 7 yr old child (reaffirmed as a teen), never felt I had to as an adult as a J.W., as I made the choice not to get baptized into a belief system I could not fully agree with. I just didn't agree with a few things like the attitude towards disfellowship of a person.
@@darciejones2769 Watch the Mormon stories podcast here on UA-cam. They have a video with a few ex-JW elders and I would be able to give you better answers about stuff than I would. I was in and out of the JW cult my whole life up till 18 years old but I was not there a very good JW so I wouldn’t know all the answers.
@@SoCalCaitlin14 I studied with Jehovah's Witnesses for 5 years to get the answers to the list of questions I had. Thank you, though, as I don't doubt there's others who have questions that those videos could help save time searching for the answers the longer way as I did. 😁
@@rebeccacampbell585 I grew up Baptist, but am now in a non-denominational. Studied for 5 yrs with JW. As I am learning more about LDS/FLDS, I am coming to the same conclusion.
Wow! 9 mins in and Amanda is setting boundaries!!!!! You go girl!!!!! I’m so proud of you! It took me almost 40 years to be so self aware! You are amazing!!!!
Stoked to have part 2, really enjoyed part 1. I find this stuff fascinating even though I'm born and raised atheist. It's so important to hear a wide range of stories to get a big picture of the diversity of human experiences.
So true wish there were more people willing to open there hearts in believing there’s lots of ways to get to heaven and that we all as a human deserve to be with him and that there are many different ways to bring him into your life and get to the happily ever after
@@alexischavez3754 I mean I'm still atheist and don't believe in heaven. But I like to listen anyways. I make it sound high and mighty but I'm just nosey lol
I’m about halfway in and I’ve loved hearing all that y’all have said so far- just wanted to note that even if y’all never get to my question, bits and pieces have been answered as you break things down in answers. I love the way conversation flows from just one question and encompasses so much. Edit: Just finished up! I absolutely enjoyed the panel- I would sit down and listen to y’all share your experiences anytime. Thank you for taking the time to be so open. I love that each of you have found your own paths to an enjoyable life. Growing up in a controlling religion/community it’s healing to see others thrive imo. Side note! I cannot wait for a video on scx health education from Amanda, I know it might be hard to tackle on UA-cam so props for wanting to in the future.
I enjoyed this series SO much. Thanks to all of you for participating. It was so fascinating to hear the different backgrounds, and of course heartbreaking as well. I’m so glad to hear all three of you are happy and getting to know yourselves and truths.
Loved this; another brilliant video. I love to watch Sam and Melissa, but these collabs are so amazing: getting the points of view of others in offshoot cults from the LDS is so informative. Thank you ladies. I'd just like to add, you are all so mature for your age! Much love xxxxx
As a former LDS member I’d say the church puts an emphasis on family - but mostly in lip service, not in actual practice. The church has you going in sooo many different directions you barely have time for family. They separate you for Sunday School, mutual, activity days, meetings upon meetings, callings, dances, Enrichment night, mens conference, womens conference, service projects, camps, EFY, youth conference - I could go on for daaaays.
Yes! I remember my mom always being so stressed out trying to make the perfect relief society or young women’s handouts that she couldn’t be present and patient with her kids.
That's why I resent my adoptive parents who are converts to the LDS Faith I try and call them on Sundays but they always have some sort of meeting after church. The Bible and the Book of Mormon says that the Sabbath is supposed to be a day of REST from your labors and glorify God. I don't see how being in a meeting that could have been a email is Glorifying God or resting from your labors.
It takes a couple of tries before I can get through an hour, but I have NO PROBLEM coming back to finish hanging out with the girls!! Hi, Sam, we missed you, you forgot MY coffee. I’m sitting RIGHT HERE!
Please do more woman panels! Talking is healing 💜 Also, it might seem moot, but the proper phrase for suicide is “died by suicide”. “Committing “ indicates a crime. And while some do believe it’s a sin, the person who was suffering so much can’t defend themselves against being accused of a committing a crime. They were hurting and we don’t know the pain and turmoil they were going through. They died by suicide.
You're so right - people have to realize, digest, and ask questions on their own. For any new knowledge, it's hard to bring it to someone unless they want to take it in because of how strongly people believe - whether it's religion, culture, politics etc.
So much power in this video!! Thank you ladies for sharing! Would love to see more womens panels in the future! I was almost converted to the LDS faith at age 16 without parental consent, but I am so happy I found videos like these to help me feel more supported in my serious doubts (even though at the time i had just started studying with them!). I am not religous now at age 20, but I love hearing different perspectives & LOVE the female empowerment :))
You three are all amazing! That is so cool that Amanda, and Melissa figured out that they are cousins! More family that are out and free. I would love to see Melissa doing a video with Amanda on her channel. Talk more on how there are related and maybe figure out how or when the two groups split from each other! Amanda should also have Melissa meet her brother and sisters as well that are out. It would be fun to see Eskel meet her!
You three are absolutely wonderful! Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom, and know you are appreciated from halfway around the world. Sending you lots of love
I find this modesty discussion very interesting because I went to a high school with uniform (not Catholic - it's the norm at regular high schools in New Zealand). We had these green skirts for the summer uniform that were literally pencil skirts - very figure-hugging and they would ride up whenever you walked. Even crossing your legs, you had to be super careful not to flash someone by accident. Teachers were constantly on at us for wearing skirts too short and distracting the boys and male teachers (no joke). It was the school who had picked out this very form-fitting and short skirt for us to wear in the first place, yet somehow it was all our fault.
I thoroughly enjoyed this 2 part series with you 3 lovely women! You have all grown in knowing yourselves as you seek the truth to live authentic, wonderful and fulfilling lives in your own space! My heart smiles when each of you smile!! I pray that each of you remain close to God as no one loves you more than He does. I’m an older lady in Gilbert, AZ, neverMo but we’ve lived amongst great LDS families. I pray that each of you have not cast off God or become Atheist just because you felt you were lied to. I searched for years (born and raised as a cradle Episcopalian) for the fullness of Christianity and read the Ancients (St Augustine, St Thomas Aquinas, and others). I came to the conclusion that Jesus handed the Keys to Peter, and he started the Christian church in Catholicism. I joined RCIA 8 months of study, and God revealed to me it is the original church. I had many former Mormons in my class that were confirmed and converted to the Catholic Faith. Please consider at least going to a Mass to see if you realize the presence of God! No need for a Current Prophet (the Pope is the Leader, but is NOT infallible and is not a prophet). The Catholic Church also is not the spawn of Satan, nor is it Satanic! We believe in Eternal Life which means Jesus, His blessed Mother Mary, and all the Saints are alive in Heaven, and they hear our prayers. No, there is no marriage in Heaven, and no procreation! See that in the Bible! Those in Heaven have attained perfection. The Bible is the inerrant scripture, and no further scripture is necessary! All Good News! God bless you all! 🙏✝️
What a fabulous panel. You resonate with all women not just women in cults. Each of you tells such a heartfelt story. I hope you make this panel a regular!
30:10 I am not from the LDS or FLDS community but I spent my whole adolescence in the bible belt southern states and fully immersed in the Christian religion. I didn't experience the same things to the length you all did, but I do resonate with what you are talking about in my own way. It was pretty exteme out in the southeast... to the point of having "purity ceremonies" to make teens (mainly females) stay "married to Jesus" until we are passed on to our future husbands. I always noticed the possessiveness and ownership of sexuality was directed towards females. It took me a long time to own my own life, to own my own mind, & to embrace myself, my goddessness and not be male-identified so much. I was trained to have my sexuality only available for my future husband. I was trained to be modest to protect the man's thoughts. I was trained to live in service of the man. Then I started to see just how much power there really is in the feminine expression of spirituality. It is so powerful that major religions have sought to control the free expressive female for thousands of years. I have been loving your podcasts. I found this after watching the netflix series. I have been hooked ever since. Keep shining. Keep standing in the power and sacredness of your divine feminine. The world needs the balancing of the energies and I feel it comes from us reclaiming everything the unchecked patriarchy tried to suppress in us. Then having the courage to express it in our own way. I feel it's important to reclaim not only for ourselves, but for all of us to grow and evolve. Blessings to you all 🙏🏾💙🧜🏾♀️
I'm 48 now, but I grew up Southern Baptist here in Virginia and I understand so much of what you're saying. I was taught the same as you. I even remember at a youth group function once and some of us were dancing (not provocatively or anything) and my youth pastor jumped our butts, telling us that dancing was not acceptable. We were all so confused.
@ A Rhythimed Life- you came to the realization that Religion and Spiritual are two very different things. We can't control the thoughts of others, which is often what people like to believe women are responsible for doing, including in how we dress.
Finding that putting limits even on your mother to be a positive thing is something that took me 55 years. I thought I would feel guilty cutting her off. Instead I day by day felt more liberated and less guilty. I skipped my extremely abusive Dad’s memorial service and let the people who were sad be there and no one has directly questioned me about it at all. It’s been 7 months so that social fear was pointless. But I did decide to see if I could reconnect with my mother a bit. I went to see her last week and I see that it is also mainly pointless. She had a brain injury 2 decades ago and the mom I grew up with died that day and a different mom was left with no spark nor humor even-she slowly had gotten much better but now has devolved again a lot. She would improve with proper diet and interactions but she is not gonna get that where she stays and I cannot take her both on a physical care level and a mental care for myself level. so I may check on her every few months or so but I must take care of myself. They damaged me so much and I just cannot allow any more. She always took his side so…she is where she put herself. I am over here still knowing all the things he did are unforgivable-period. I give him no power by saying that I do not forgive. Should we forgive most of what most parents do? Sure-absolutely-usually parents do the best they can and the best they knew how. Problem is over here in my shoes where I can say he broke every bounds of parenthood including attempting to murder me multiple times and was a 9.99 on a scale of 10 extreme abuse. I do not grant him forgiveness. My anger actually kept me alive. My anger was my friend. My anger allowed me to have self awareness and to set boundaries. Sorry to self-help shrinks who approach this academically but they are wrong to push forgiveness. Forgiveness is a Christian religious concept which is fine in general but forgiveness can be granted until you hit about a level 5-6 on the extreme abuse scale. Somewhere after that…the psychologists need to grant we the survivors autonomy to our righteous anger. I have a firm line I take about forgiveness. I am the most forgiving person you ever met about the small stuff. You owe me money? ok-I’d like payment but I forgive you. You talked bad about me? Meh. forgivable. You stole from my house? I might think you are an idiot but forgivable. You injured me from careless actions? I will be mad a bit for sure but forgivable. But there is a line. You cannot abuse me physically, mentally or in any way. You cannot imprison me and torture me and try to murder me. Not forgivable. But there is no vengeance I could extract without changing who I was and without hurting other people. I wish I could have had vengeance against him. But I could not lower myself to be anywhere near his level. I am powerful. He was a weak man forcing power over the most helpless babies. a fkn psycho. Not gonna forgive that. If you had witnessed it -you’d never push for forgiveness. If the psychologists had witnessed it-they’d change their tune.
Positively terrific, impressive and fascinating. Thank you, all 3. Might i expand the spectrum you mentioned, so that we include people, even female people, who might not want to have children at all. Not every childless woman is heartbroken about it, whether their church sanctions it or not. Please do more panels like this. 💙💙💙
19:00 That's an issue for women who haven't even been in any religion or cult. My bf was really surprised when I said I didn't want to rush in to intimacy, but I hate the pressure I feel from our culture that we have to put out to keep a man around. Just know you're not alone
Yeah, we do still feel some expectations, as the opposite we worry if we do it too quickly the guy will think we're 'easy' or not looking for something serious.
i really, really loved the discussion in the beginning about how you get women and their children out. i've worked extensively in substance use disorder treatment and the #1 question is how to make someone want to get sober or find their own path to recovery. and the answer is very much the same: you can't because they have to want it for themselves. all you can really do is be open, honest, loving, compassionate, empathetic, and understanding so that if or when they do decide they want to make a change, they feel safe enough to come to you for help. it's HARD and emotionally taxing and if anyone is in that situation (whether it's regarding someone using unsafe substances or someone in a high-demand group/religion/cult), i encourage you to seek help and support! therapy isn't always feasible for everyone, but there are support groups, al-anon meetings, facebook groups, etc that you can engage with and find love and care within. and i know it's a cliche, but it's true: you can't pour from an empty cup. you have to take care of you and yours first before you can help others, so make sure you're safe, sane, and healthy as much as possible
Girls I was so impressed once again! You three have got to get together and make this a regular thing, you do such an awesome job! Joanna maybe you should have a UA-cam channel as well. Then you could invite Amanda Sam and Melissa. Take her care girls and have a great summer!
I was reading the Kingston's wiki and i came across this "On one of Kingston's trips to Salt Lake City, he met Charles Zitting, a Latter-day Saint who was married to three plural wives but had not been excommunicated by the LDS Church. Zitting introduced Kingston to John W. Woolley, who had performed Zitting's plural marriages." isn't that Sam's grandfather? So i guess they were part of the same group at that point.
Ok just finished. Wow! I am a 55 year old Canadian woman Atheist who was never raised in religion...this was Women on Being women. Not to diminish your 'cultural' lol experience...but your thoughts and feelings and experiences are all so relatable to everyone regardless of where raised or how. Thank you beautiful smart thoughtful souls. That was beyond inspiring ✌🐕
Excellent. Whether raised in polygamy, polyamory, fundamentalist religion or LDS or anything in between, so much of what was shared is relatable. Thank you.
Love y'all ♡. Thanks so much for this great panel. I would fully support Joanna getting her own channel to help promo her real estate sales if she's interested.
On the point that Amanda mentioned, regarding compering oneself to others of the same age. If it helps anyone, where I'm from, there is a culturally set path making it so most people who attended any higher educatuion are in their late twenties by the time they get their bachelor's degree, the average age for first marriage in the secular population is 27.3 for women and 29.8 for men. My point is that even what is considered "normal" or "expected" differs a lot, so as difficult as it is we really should compare ourselves only to previous versions of ourselves.
I’m fascinated by this. Thank you so much for sharing your experiences and I’m happy that you are in a good place in your lives that you are comfortable sharing.
No not the norm, it was at least 4 months before we were intimate. And no drugs and very very little alcohol. Happy you are all out and learning who you are. 💛💛💛
this series is fantastic for those who want to learn more about these three groups. thanks to all of you ladies for sharing some of the more personal aspects of each group! ❤️❤️❤️🌈👍🏻
My eldest child (daughter) lives in Salt Lake City, Utah. She is former LDS. As I have seen much in regard to LDS & FLDS (still seeking more to understand as much as possible, especially regarding FLDS). I was just talking to her this morning, told her about having come across the "many of FLDS have moved to Salt Lake City, Utah after Warren Jeffs' arrest & conviction".....I asked her about it. She said that yes, she does see many FLDS, yes, they do wear the prairie dresses, and they don't tend to talk to anyone who isn't FLDS unless they have to (in doing business).
? Could you go back to the question about how you relate to your bodies after leaving your religion? Joanna answered it, but it would be great to hear more about how leaving LDS and the Order has changed how Melissa and Amanda’s view of their bodies.
Toxic parents don’t get better. I was abused by my father, but still I took care of him until he died. I waited for that apology, right up until the end…. Of course there wasn’t one. The day he died was the day I became free.
Hi Ladies, I am from Gqeberha in South Africa, I find these discussions, we don't really have cults or LDS etc, culturally we have a great deal of traditional views on religion. Thank you so much for the amazing content, your individual and collective strength is to be admired, congratulations.
Excellent talk! I learned a lot. While I was never a part or offshoot of LDS (though related to many past prophets), there are Christian religions that are quite similar in some ways. The patriarchal control is huge and continues to be in many religions, also in non-Christian religions. I wish you all beautiful blessings!
It's like milk vs. meat diet or someone asks for a drink of water you turn on the fire hose with information. I'm still learning after 45 yrs ago I left the church.
They closed the LDS adoption agency a few years ago. I used to work in one and it was an awesome place. They do still offer the counseling and therapy side of the social services, but no adoptions anymore. So LDS families use normal agencies to adopt
@@GrowingUpinPolygamy hello I am unable to comment in videos anymore do you know why?? Maybe I got into you tube jail?? Not sure why but figured I asked just watched the video posted today 08.10.22 great video!!
M- That's a great question that I don't remember ever hearing addressed. My guess is that they would say that is going against your purpose in this life and the next.
Your words give me CHILLS Amanda 🤍 Such an inspiring beautiful woman… love you and your brother, I listen to one of your guys videos ATLEAST almost every night falling asleep 😂❤️
Melissa: can I plz get a footnote for your referenced quote from Joseph Smith re: never changing the garment pattern? The only ones I can find are from Joseph F Smith and I'm assuming you mean the original Joseph Smith Jr prophet?
With absolutely no disrespect... how did FLDS women stay hygienic? It's hot in the areas that they live. With such super large families, how often could they realistically bathe? Were products like antiperspirant, lotions available and allowed?
This is an interesting question. Like anyone else we showered every morning! Hygiene was always really high and important in my family. We had soaps and everything like anyone else!
@@joannafischer1000 thank you for answering! Again, I wasn't trying to be disrespectful. I really just can't imagine how hot the women were wearing all those layers. I would probably have left just for that reason 😉
@@sallyostling no worries I understand where your question was coming from. Also weirdly enough. Our bodies were used to it. So I don’t remember thinking of it as being hotter or more sweaty.
I am interested in learning more about how women's health issues affect them in these groups. Having sooo many pregnancies & repeated births...does this cause rampant uterine & bladder prolapse? Post partum depression? What happens to women who CANNOT have children? What if a women can't breastfeed? What do women do in these situations, since medical care is avoided??
On your discussion about what will it take for the women to take the kids and leave… I totally agree with them having to accept that their entire lives have been a lie. And that means they allowed themselves and their kids be treated badly based on a lie.
I’m confused did I miss something bc I thought Joann left 4 years ago but she said escaping polygamy called her to be on the show and thay was a lot more the 4 years ago when that aired. What did is miss?! Thanks
@@joannafischer1000 that's awesome! I'm sorry if that should have been known, I've watched Growing Up In Polygamy for awhile and have seen both of you on there but never knew. 😊
Something to think about Can you please make a real family tree with real moms and dads. Because in two generations nobody will know the real truth..... In a search for my real great granpa I have to be a frickin Sherlock Holmes.....
First question-- was there ever a thought that the religion was based on a 14 year boys statements? How do the FLDS except children born with disabilities.. downs, deaf etc...?
Special needs children are loved and cared for very well. It is taught that they were very valiant in the War in Heaven, so God sent them in a handicapped position as a protection from sin.😇
I workedby Bryec Canon, very FDLS,the women worked hard at recruting and the Family Dollor Store was all FDLS women. Many were maids in local hotels, with their underage kids helping
I love the way a Melissa put the consent issue- “you have to make sure people understand what consent actually is”!
I started being abused at family reunions when I was 4 and maybe even before that and my family has military and police and CIA and medical and lawyer and NSA and NASA ties. They try to say people are bipolar or schizophrenic if you report abuse. To cope you end up blocking out a lot.
Dang, Amanda. Your realization stuff
about how your family was treating you sounds like a very hard realization to come to, but it sounds like you've made a very healthy decision for yourself. That shows a lot of growth.
I hope this doesn't come out wrong. I have always enjoyed working with people in recovery (nurse here). Their fearless self awareness and acceptance and forgiveness of short comings in themselves and others is challenging and comforting. You three remind me of them. Thank you.
Thank you so much! I take that as a huge compliment. =)
It was meant as a compliment so I'm glad that came through.
I'm in recovery & an ex JW. Ivery much relate to your comment.
would definitely love to see more "women's panels" in the future. always love hearing more of your story, melissa, and its great to hear from joanna and Amanda too!
I am not in any way shape or form connected to the FLDS, LDS or Kingston group. I grew up Jehovah’s Witness, but the way you guys summed up the video at the end with advice hit me very hard (in a great way), so thank you ♥️
@Caitlin Stebbins- are you still J.W. or did you leave? I studied with for 5 years in my 20's. I had questions people never could answer, but also couldn't clearly answer, outside 'well, they don't celebrate Christmas ', etc.....I wanted answers to WHY they don't do certain things. I studied long enough that my next steps would be quit smoking, go out in service, and get baptized. I chose not to.... Already had accepted Christ into my heart and got baptized as a 7 yr old child (reaffirmed as a teen), never felt I had to as an adult as a J.W., as I made the choice not to get baptized into a belief system I could not fully agree with. I just didn't agree with a few things like the attitude towards disfellowship of a person.
@@darciejones2769 Watch the Mormon stories podcast here on UA-cam. They have a video with a few ex-JW elders and I would be able to give you better answers about stuff than I would. I was in and out of the JW cult my whole life up till 18 years old but I was not there a very good JW so I wouldn’t know all the answers.
@@SoCalCaitlin14 I studied with Jehovah's Witnesses for 5 years to get the answers to the list of questions I had. Thank you, though, as I don't doubt there's others who have questions that those videos could help save time searching for the answers the longer way as I did. 😁
I grew up lds. After learning about JW I think there are a lot of similarities.
@@rebeccacampbell585 I grew up Baptist, but am now in a non-denominational. Studied for 5 yrs with JW. As I am learning more about LDS/FLDS, I am coming to the same conclusion.
This series may be one of my favorites from your channel ❤️
Thank you so much!
Wow! 9 mins in and Amanda is setting boundaries!!!!! You go girl!!!!! I’m so proud of you! It took me almost 40 years to be so self aware! You are amazing!!!!
I'm so proud of Amanda for this.
Stoked to have part 2, really enjoyed part 1.
I find this stuff fascinating even though I'm born and raised atheist. It's so important to hear a wide range of stories to get a big picture of the diversity of human experiences.
Same :D
So true wish there were more people willing to open there hearts in believing there’s lots of ways to get to heaven and that we all as a human deserve to be with him and that there are many different ways to bring him into your life and get to the happily ever after
@@alexischavez3754 I mean I'm still atheist and don't believe in heaven. But I like to listen anyways.
I make it sound high and mighty but I'm just nosey lol
I need like 8 more parts to this! 🙂
Aww thanks!
I’m about halfway in and I’ve loved hearing all that y’all have said so far- just wanted to note that even if y’all never get to my question, bits and pieces have been answered as you break things down in answers. I love the way conversation flows from just one question and encompasses so much.
Edit: Just finished up! I absolutely enjoyed the panel- I would sit down and listen to y’all share your experiences anytime. Thank you for taking the time to be so open. I love that each of you have found your own paths to an enjoyable life. Growing up in a controlling religion/community it’s healing to see others thrive imo.
Side note! I cannot wait for a video on scx health education from Amanda, I know it might be hard to tackle on UA-cam so props for wanting to in the future.
I enjoyed this series SO much. Thanks to all of you for participating. It was so fascinating to hear the different backgrounds, and of course heartbreaking as well. I’m so glad to hear all three of you are happy and getting to know yourselves and truths.
I love this! You 3 are so smart and insightful. Let’s do this again!
Loved this; another brilliant video. I love to watch Sam and Melissa, but these collabs are so amazing: getting the points of view of others in offshoot cults from the LDS is so informative. Thank you ladies. I'd just like to add, you are all so mature for your age! Much love xxxxx
Thank you so much Susan!!!
I got an LDS ad at the start of this video, which is really funny/sad given the context of this panel and your channel as a whole!
Big brother is always listening
As a former LDS member I’d say the church puts an emphasis on family - but mostly in lip service, not in actual practice. The church has you going in sooo many different directions you barely have time for family. They separate you for Sunday School, mutual, activity days, meetings upon meetings, callings, dances, Enrichment night, mens conference, womens conference, service projects, camps, EFY, youth conference - I could go on for daaaays.
Yes! I remember my mom always being so stressed out trying to make the perfect relief society or young women’s handouts that she couldn’t be present and patient with her kids.
That's why I resent my adoptive parents who are converts to the LDS Faith I try and call them on Sundays but they always have some sort of meeting after church. The Bible and the Book of Mormon says that the Sabbath is supposed to be a day of REST from your labors and glorify God. I don't see how being in a meeting that could have been a email is Glorifying God or resting from your labors.
I hope there's a Part 3! 😁
It takes a couple of tries before I can get through an hour, but I have NO PROBLEM coming back to finish hanging out with the girls!!
Hi, Sam, we missed you, you forgot MY coffee. I’m sitting RIGHT HERE!
M- Aww thanks! hahahahaha yes! I'll tell Sam to get right on it! =)
Please do more woman panels! Talking is healing 💜
Also, it might seem moot, but the proper phrase for suicide is “died by suicide”. “Committing “ indicates a crime. And while some do believe it’s a sin, the person who was suffering so much can’t defend themselves against being accused of a committing a crime.
They were hurting and we don’t know the pain and turmoil they were going through. They died by suicide.
This is an important new change to the conversation - thank you -
I really enjoyed listening to both parts. Amanda, you keep saying that it took you 26 years... We all are learning and changing constantly!
You're so right - people have to realize, digest, and ask questions on their own. For any new knowledge, it's hard to bring it to someone unless they want to take it in because of how strongly people believe - whether it's religion, culture, politics etc.
Yall are so inspiring. I hope you can continue to grow and empower other women and helping.
Thank you so much!
So much power in this video!! Thank you ladies for sharing! Would love to see more womens panels in the future! I was almost converted to the LDS faith at age 16 without parental consent, but I am so happy I found videos like these to help me feel more supported in my serious doubts (even though at the time i had just started studying with them!). I am not religous now at age 20, but I love hearing different perspectives & LOVE the female empowerment :))
You three are all amazing! That is so cool that Amanda, and Melissa figured out that they are cousins! More family that are out and free. I would love to see Melissa doing a video with Amanda on her channel. Talk more on how there are related and maybe figure out how or when the two groups split from each other! Amanda should also have Melissa meet her brother and sisters as well that are out. It would be fun to see Eskel meet her!
I loved these last two episodes. Thank you all for being so open with your responses.
You three are absolutely wonderful! Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom, and know you are appreciated from halfway around the world. Sending you lots of love
Thank you so much!
I find this modesty discussion very interesting because I went to a high school with uniform (not Catholic - it's the norm at regular high schools in New Zealand). We had these green skirts for the summer uniform that were literally pencil skirts - very figure-hugging and they would ride up whenever you walked. Even crossing your legs, you had to be super careful not to flash someone by accident. Teachers were constantly on at us for wearing skirts too short and distracting the boys and male teachers (no joke). It was the school who had picked out this very form-fitting and short skirt for us to wear in the first place, yet somehow it was all our fault.
I thoroughly enjoyed this 2 part series with you 3 lovely women! You have all grown in knowing yourselves as you seek the truth to live authentic, wonderful and fulfilling lives in your own space! My heart smiles when each of you smile!! I pray that each of you remain close to God as no one loves you more than He does. I’m an older lady in Gilbert, AZ, neverMo but we’ve lived amongst great LDS families. I pray that each of you have not cast off God or become Atheist just because you felt you were lied to. I searched for years (born and raised as a cradle Episcopalian) for the fullness of Christianity and read the Ancients (St Augustine, St Thomas Aquinas, and others). I came to the conclusion that Jesus handed the Keys to Peter, and he started the Christian church in Catholicism. I joined RCIA 8 months of study, and God revealed to me it is the original church. I had many former Mormons in my class that were confirmed and converted to the Catholic Faith. Please consider at least going to a Mass to see if you realize the presence of God! No need for a Current Prophet (the Pope is the Leader, but is NOT infallible and is not a prophet). The Catholic Church also is not the spawn of Satan, nor is it Satanic! We believe in Eternal Life which means Jesus, His blessed Mother Mary, and all the Saints are alive in Heaven, and they hear our prayers. No, there is no marriage in Heaven, and no procreation! See that in the Bible! Those in Heaven have attained perfection. The Bible is the inerrant scripture, and no further scripture is necessary! All Good News! God bless you all! 🙏✝️
What a fabulous panel. You resonate with all women not just women in cults. Each of you tells such a heartfelt story. I hope you make this panel a regular!
Wow ❤️ So much wisdom, grace and radiance in you three young women. Thank you for sharing your experiences.
30:10 I am not from the LDS or FLDS community but I spent my whole adolescence in the bible belt southern states and fully immersed in the Christian religion.
I didn't experience the same things to the length you all did, but I do resonate with what you are talking about in my own way. It was pretty exteme out in the southeast... to the point of having "purity ceremonies" to make teens (mainly females) stay "married to Jesus" until we are passed on to our future husbands. I always noticed the possessiveness and ownership of sexuality was directed towards females.
It took me a long time to own my own life, to own my own mind, & to embrace myself, my goddessness and not be male-identified so much.
I was trained to have my sexuality only available for my future husband. I was trained to be modest to protect the man's thoughts. I was trained to live in service of the man.
Then I started to see just how much power there really is in the feminine expression of spirituality. It is so powerful that major religions have sought to control the free expressive female for thousands of years.
I have been loving your podcasts. I found this after watching the netflix series. I have been hooked ever since. Keep shining. Keep standing in the power and sacredness of your divine feminine. The world needs the balancing of the energies and I feel it comes from us reclaiming everything the unchecked patriarchy tried to suppress in us. Then having the courage to express it in our own way. I feel it's important to reclaim not only for ourselves, but for all of us to grow and evolve. Blessings to you all
🙏🏾💙🧜🏾♀️
I'm 48 now, but I grew up Southern Baptist here in Virginia and I understand so much of what you're saying. I was taught the same as you. I even remember at a youth group function once and some of us were dancing (not provocatively or anything) and my youth pastor jumped our butts, telling us that dancing was not acceptable. We were all so confused.
@ A Rhythimed Life- you came to the realization that Religion and Spiritual are two very different things. We can't control the thoughts of others, which is often what people like to believe women are responsible for doing, including in how we dress.
M- Thank you so much!
Finding that putting limits even on your mother to be a positive thing is something that took me 55 years. I thought I would feel guilty cutting her off. Instead I day by day felt more liberated and less guilty. I skipped my extremely abusive Dad’s memorial service and let the people who were sad be there and no one has directly questioned me about it at all. It’s been 7 months so that social fear was pointless. But I did decide to see if I could reconnect with my mother a bit. I went to see her last week and I see that it is also mainly pointless. She had a brain injury 2 decades ago and the mom I grew up with died that day and a different mom was left with no spark nor humor even-she slowly had gotten much better but now has devolved again a lot. She would improve with proper diet and interactions but she is not gonna get that where she stays and I cannot take her both on a physical care level and a mental care for myself level. so I may check on her every few months or so but I must take care of myself. They damaged me so much and I just cannot allow any more. She always took his side so…she is where she put herself. I am over here still knowing all the things he did are unforgivable-period. I give him no power by saying that I do not forgive. Should we forgive most of what most parents do? Sure-absolutely-usually parents do the best they can and the best they knew how. Problem is over here in my shoes where I can say he broke every bounds of parenthood including attempting to murder me multiple times and was a 9.99 on a scale of 10 extreme abuse. I do not grant him forgiveness. My anger actually kept me alive. My anger was my friend. My anger allowed me to have self awareness and to set boundaries. Sorry to self-help shrinks who approach this academically but they are wrong to push forgiveness. Forgiveness is a Christian religious concept which is fine in general but forgiveness can be granted until you hit about a level 5-6 on the extreme abuse scale. Somewhere after that…the psychologists need to grant we the survivors autonomy to our righteous anger. I have a firm line I take about forgiveness. I am the most forgiving person you ever met about the small stuff. You owe me money? ok-I’d like payment but I forgive you. You talked bad about me? Meh. forgivable. You stole from my house? I might think you are an idiot but forgivable. You injured me from careless actions? I will be mad a bit for sure but forgivable. But there is a line. You cannot abuse me physically, mentally or in any way. You cannot imprison me and torture me and try to murder me. Not forgivable. But there is no vengeance I could extract without changing who I was and without hurting other people. I wish I could have had vengeance against him. But I could not lower myself to be anywhere near his level. I am powerful. He was a weak man forcing power over the most helpless babies. a fkn psycho. Not gonna forgive that. If you had witnessed it -you’d never push for forgiveness. If the psychologists had witnessed it-they’d change their tune.
Positively terrific, impressive and fascinating. Thank you, all 3. Might i expand the spectrum you mentioned, so that we include people, even female people, who might not want to have children at all. Not every childless woman is heartbroken about it, whether their church sanctions it or not. Please do more panels like this. 💙💙💙
I haven't even started this yet but seriously...you women are so smart, brave kind and just beautiful. Thank you all for the smiles and the wisdom xo
Loved this.
Shaking my head at the Jessop reference 🤣
My cousin is dating a Jessop from pinesdale MT, she’s pretty great though.
19:00 That's an issue for women who haven't even been in any religion or cult. My bf was really surprised when I said I didn't want to rush in to intimacy, but I hate the pressure I feel from our culture that we have to put out to keep a man around. Just know you're not alone
Yeah, we do still feel some expectations, as the opposite we worry if we do it too quickly the guy will think we're 'easy' or not looking for something serious.
i really, really loved the discussion in the beginning about how you get women and their children out. i've worked extensively in substance use disorder treatment and the #1 question is how to make someone want to get sober or find their own path to recovery. and the answer is very much the same: you can't because they have to want it for themselves. all you can really do is be open, honest, loving, compassionate, empathetic, and understanding so that if or when they do decide they want to make a change, they feel safe enough to come to you for help. it's HARD and emotionally taxing and if anyone is in that situation (whether it's regarding someone using unsafe substances or someone in a high-demand group/religion/cult), i encourage you to seek help and support! therapy isn't always feasible for everyone, but there are support groups, al-anon meetings, facebook groups, etc that you can engage with and find love and care within. and i know it's a cliche, but it's true: you can't pour from an empty cup. you have to take care of you and yours first before you can help others, so make sure you're safe, sane, and healthy as much as possible
This was paked full of insight and fantastic advice for other women in general but especially ones leaving a cult ♡
Sending lots of love to you all from Virginia! Thank you! 💖
Girls I was so impressed once again! You three have got to get together and make this a regular thing, you do such an awesome job! Joanna maybe you should have a UA-cam channel as well. Then you could invite Amanda Sam and Melissa. Take her care girls and have a great summer!
I was reading the Kingston's wiki and i came across this "On one of Kingston's trips to Salt Lake City, he met Charles Zitting, a Latter-day Saint who was married to three plural wives but had not been excommunicated by the LDS Church. Zitting introduced Kingston to John W. Woolley, who had performed Zitting's plural marriages." isn't that Sam's grandfather? So i guess they were part of the same group at that point.
Sooo interesting! Yes that is Sam's grandfather!
Strong women! Love the conversation.
Ok just finished. Wow! I am a 55 year old Canadian woman Atheist who was never raised in religion...this was Women on Being women. Not to diminish your 'cultural' lol experience...but your thoughts and feelings and experiences are all so relatable to everyone regardless of where raised or how. Thank you beautiful smart thoughtful souls. That was beyond inspiring ✌🐕
Congratulations to you for extricating yourself while trying hard to protect your self esteem . Sending you best wishes for future success
Excellent. Whether raised in polygamy, polyamory, fundamentalist religion or LDS or anything in between, so much of what was shared is relatable. Thank you.
Love y'all ♡. Thanks so much for this great panel. I would fully support Joanna getting her own channel to help promo her real estate sales if she's interested.
I definitely am!!
On the point that Amanda mentioned, regarding compering oneself to others of the same age.
If it helps anyone, where I'm from, there is a culturally set path making it so most people who attended any higher educatuion are in their late twenties by the time they get their bachelor's degree, the average age for first marriage in the secular population is 27.3 for women and 29.8 for men.
My point is that even what is considered "normal" or "expected" differs a lot, so as difficult as it is we really should compare ourselves only to previous versions of ourselves.
Just love you ladies wish there was apart 3
It's really nice listening to your advice at the end. Such wise young ladies.
I’m fascinated by this. Thank you so much for sharing your experiences and I’m happy that you are in a good place in your lives that you are comfortable sharing.
Such a great panel! I wish that it were on-going!
Joanna needs to start a UA-cam!
No not the norm, it was at least 4 months before we were intimate. And no drugs and very very little alcohol. Happy you are all out and learning who you are. 💛💛💛
this series is fantastic for those who want to learn more about these three groups. thanks to all of you ladies for sharing some of the more personal aspects of each group! ❤️❤️❤️🌈👍🏻
My eldest child (daughter) lives in Salt Lake City, Utah. She is former LDS. As I have seen much in regard to LDS & FLDS (still seeking more to understand as much as possible, especially regarding FLDS). I was just talking to her this morning, told her about having come across the "many of FLDS have moved to Salt Lake City, Utah after Warren Jeffs' arrest & conviction".....I asked her about it. She said that yes, she does see many FLDS, yes, they do wear the prairie dresses, and they don't tend to talk to anyone who isn't FLDS unless they have to (in doing business).
All of these women are brilliant ❤ Love hearing their insights and experiences.
Three gorgeous women there! Keep the conversation going!
Thank you so much LC! =)
? Could you go back to the question about how you relate to your bodies after leaving your religion? Joanna answered it, but it would be great to hear more about how leaving LDS and the Order has changed how Melissa and Amanda’s view of their bodies.
Thank you. I think all three of you are awesome. I appreciate your insights. 😊
Yay I’ve been waiting on this!!!❤️🙏🏼
Toxic parents don’t get better. I was abused by my father, but still I took care of him until he died. I waited for that apology, right up until the end…. Of course there wasn’t one. The day he died was the day I became free.
I was freed the day my dad died.
So much wisdom, thank you! Please do more 🙂
Thank you, sisters, for sharing your stories. I wish you health and happiness.
Hi Ladies, I am from Gqeberha in South Africa, I find these discussions, we don't really have cults or LDS etc, culturally we have a great deal of traditional views on religion. Thank you so much for the amazing content, your individual and collective strength is to be admired, congratulations.
There is such power in your women's panel!
You are giving so many cult victims hope.
LDS family services closed their adoption services several years back.
Excellent talk! I learned a lot. While I was never a part or offshoot of LDS (though related to many past prophets), there are Christian religions that are quite similar in some ways. The patriarchal control is huge and continues to be in many religions, also in non-Christian religions.
I wish you all beautiful blessings!
Please do more of these!
Just fantastic!!! Thank you so much!
It's like milk vs. meat diet or someone asks for a drink of water you turn on the fire hose with information. I'm still learning after 45 yrs ago I left the church.
They closed the LDS adoption agency a few years ago. I used to work in one and it was an awesome place. They do still offer the counseling and therapy side of the social services, but no adoptions anymore. So LDS families use normal agencies to adopt
Good to know! Thank you for sharing!
Yay I always enjoy these videos!
Hurray !! Part 2 with the Gals 👊 👍😉
Great video!! Thanks for sharing you ladies are awesome!!
Thanks so much!!
@@GrowingUpinPolygamy hello I am unable to comment in videos anymore do you know why?? Maybe I got into you tube jail?? Not sure why but figured I asked just watched the video posted today 08.10.22 great video!!
Also one of my favorite memories is the first time my son served me the sacrament. Yes there r good memories
.
You ladies are inspiring .
Thank you so much!
Thank you for your information
How does the LDS feel about women who don't want to have children?
M- That's a great question that I don't remember ever hearing addressed. My guess is that they would say that is going against your purpose in this life and the next.
Oops confused the names, I meant Joanna not Melissa that is related to Amanda! Sorry about that!!
Your words give me CHILLS Amanda 🤍 Such an inspiring beautiful woman… love you and your brother, I listen to one of your guys videos ATLEAST almost every night falling asleep 😂❤️
Melissa: can I plz get a footnote for your referenced quote from Joseph Smith re: never changing the garment pattern? The only ones I can find are from Joseph F Smith and I'm assuming you mean the original Joseph Smith Jr prophet?
The women's panel was great. Lots of good advice even if you were never in a cult.
With absolutely no disrespect... how did FLDS women stay hygienic? It's hot in the areas that they live. With such super large families, how often could they realistically bathe? Were products like antiperspirant, lotions available and allowed?
This is an interesting question. Like anyone else we showered every morning! Hygiene was always really high and important in my family. We had soaps and everything like anyone else!
@@joannafischer1000 thank you for answering! Again, I wasn't trying to be disrespectful. I really just can't imagine how hot the women were wearing all those layers. I would probably have left just for that reason 😉
@@sallyostling no worries I understand where your question was coming from. Also weirdly enough. Our bodies were used to it. So I don’t remember thinking of it as being hotter or more sweaty.
What BRILLIANT young ladies y'all are 🥰🤗😁 I (for one am proud of you 💗😘
Very interesting! Sharp women!
Love this!! :)
I would love for you guys to do this monthly or every other month?
You guys r very wise women
I am interested in learning more about how women's health issues affect them in these groups. Having sooo many pregnancies & repeated births...does this cause rampant uterine & bladder prolapse? Post partum depression? What happens to women who CANNOT have children? What if a women can't breastfeed? What do women do in these situations, since medical care is avoided??
I thought the lds adoptions stopped years ago.
On your discussion about what will it take for the women to take the kids and leave… I totally agree with them having to accept that their entire lives have been a lie. And that means they allowed themselves and their kids be treated badly based on a lie.
As a parent I can totally see that stopping them.
👍👍❤️🙏 from Saskatchewan 🇨🇦
I’m confused did I miss something bc I thought Joann left 4 years ago but she said escaping polygamy called her to be on the show and thay was a lot more the 4 years ago when that aired.
What did is miss?! Thanks
In the Catholic faith I was told by my father that I was NOT to go to fertility treatment because the child would be born with no soul!!
Maybe I'm late to this knowledge but are Manti and Joanna dating? 😁
Yes we are actually married
@@joannafischer1000 that's awesome! I'm sorry if that should have been known, I've watched Growing Up In Polygamy for awhile and have seen both of you on there but never knew. 😊
Love love love love you girls! ❤️
Aww thank you so much!
Something to think about Can you please make a real family tree with real moms and dads. Because in two generations nobody will know the real truth..... In a search for my real great granpa I have to be a frickin Sherlock Holmes.....
That would make a super fun video! Maybe with a big whiteboard or something. I'll add it to the list!
First question-- was there ever a thought that the religion was based on a 14 year boys statements?
How do the FLDS except children born with disabilities.. downs, deaf etc...?
Special needs children are loved and cared for very well. It is taught that they were very valiant in the War in Heaven, so God sent them in a handicapped position as a protection from sin.😇
Love God 💘 yourself love one another
I workedby Bryec Canon, very FDLS,the women worked hard at recruting and the Family Dollor Store was all FDLS women. Many were maids in local hotels, with their underage kids helping
I think Joanna and Manti should date ❤
Actually!!!!! We are!!!
@@joannafischer1000 well hey girl !! This Grandma is happy for you both !