I have to say before I saw this video, I was am advocate of "If i don't want to, I don't really have to" .. but now I understand more. Sex within marriage is not about consent only, it is about communication, selflesness and being one with the spouse. There are reasons why one of the spouses do not want sex. And that is an opportunity to the one who wants sex to listen and understand and know his/her spouse. Both will learn to let go of or maybe work on what holds them back from an act of union: is it selfishness or other wounds of the past. It is an opportunity to heal and to perfect the fusion as one body. It is an occasion also to choose to consider the partner's heart instead of my physical desires. Because I think both the one who wants it and the one who does not want sex should be selfless and talk through it. What bother one shiuld be the other's concern since they are one body. This video reminded me and also taught me more about the real importance of sex in marriage. so.. thank you 🤗✨
I think it’s so good to have these conversations with your spouse. My husband and I generally don’t ever say no if the other person asks for sex. There are definitely exceptions, like for health reasons, but generally speaking we don’t withhold sex from another. The Bible is clear that abstaining from sex within marriage is only for prayer and fasting, IF BOTH people agree. My body is my husbands and his body is mine.
actually a question, what if I'm genuinely uncomfortable having sex even though me and him have had it before, I just happen to be genuinely uncomfortable this particular time through no fault of his own, what there? (btw this is not a real situation it's just a hypothetical situation)
@@chilipowder5900 if that were the situation for someone, which it is for many people, I’d recommend figuring out the root cause of the discomfort. A lot of people with past history of abuse, struggle in this area that finding the root cause, and dealing with past trauma can truly help. There’s always a root cause. Whether it’s abuse, neglect, guilt/shame, sexual immorality, distance from God, selfishness, pride, etc. The point of sex is to connect with your spouse so if you were uncomfortable, I think that something you would need to work on. Sex was designed by God in order to please your spouse. The goal should be for both spouses to want to please each other. It should not be about yourself. Find something you are comfortable with and start there as you work through figuring out why it makes you uncomfortable. Don’t settle for less just because it’s difficult. That would be my advice. Hard is not the same thing as bad.
To preface this my husband and I are Christians. I am also a sex trafficking survivor. I have been raped almost 300 times. My husband knows this. I have severe ptsd and significant issues around sex. His idea of selfless love is not being okay with having sex with someone knowing it will psychologically damage them in that moment. To him selfless love is choosing to not force me to have sex with him just because we are married. In fact his selfless love goes so deep that even if we are in the act of sex and I have a flashback or start crying ask him to stop, he does. He can't enjoy if I'm not. My selfless love for him is the same. He has anxiety and depression and if he's unwell I love him enough to abstain until he is doing better.That's just who we are as a good christian couple. You two are very young, and you have a lot to learn. This was honestly really triggering to watch, and this comment was hard to write. I hope you young'uns take this to heart, you are good people. You also have a lot of subscribers and I hate to think of the young men AND women who end up in sexually abusive marriages because of misguided advice.
If having sex with your partner even when you don't want to is selfless, how about not forcing yourself on your partner when they don't want to? Is that not selfless too? Funny how only one person is required to act selfless... If a spouse is not wanting sex, you should explore why that is - an unresolved fight, something bothered them but they didn't feel safe to address is, depression, whatever. Trying to take care of your spouse so they want to have sex with you again is imo the more selfless love.
Well, if it's the man who's wanting and his wife's "unwilling" then no wonder they think the wife should be the one to give in... When my husband and I were receiving religious premarital counseling, my pastor told me that I was solely in charge of keeping my husband "in check" concerning our physical boundaries. I ate that bs up at the time but looking back, I realize now that it just makes men sound weak and immature.
I'm Christian (though not conservative) & so agree. My spouse didn't want to have sex for a long stretch this year. It wouldn't have been a selfless act for her to push through it-- it would've made me feel *horrible*. We decided she'd get counseling. Realized she had stuck feelings of shame and fear from all the "don't have sex, it's a sin" she absorbed in church as a child/teen-- those feelings didn't disappear when we got married, and a recent experience had dredged them up. Her desire is naturally coming back as she heals on that deeper level. There are degrees of unwillingness-- like, sometimes I don't feel like getting up off the couch, but feel way better once Im out walking. If it's like that, fine, push through if you both feel that's best. But many many people have more serious personal/relationship issues manifesting in their lack of desire. Imo, figure out what you're even dealing with, & address it accordingly.
Where did anyone tell anyone else to force themselves? Why in the world is this even a sentence you need to right, considering that not once has anything like that been suggested in the video?
There is a beautiful medium where you have mutual consent for a time to not fulfill your spouse's desire for a time of prayer, a time of forgiveness, and healing, or a time you just don't want to.
You do not owe your wife or your husband your body. It is not about being selfless. There are sometimes deeper things going on and sex CAN become an emotionally difficult thing to do. No one enjoys sex when it feels like a responsibility or a chore.
You need to read your Bible more. Your body doesn't belong to you, it belongs to your spouse. And their body belongs to you. Enjoyment of sex is not spoken of in the Bible, but you are commanded to have sex with your spouse.
@@TKO8974 Selfishness is great. And working on trauma is important. But even if I had no trauma- I should be able to feel COMFORTABLE WITH MY SPOUSE to say no at any time.
@@nicolestrickland90 I agree yes like Morgan said you should, we all should. But that’s not selfish necessarily, that’s could be different again like Morgan said ♥️ she has told Paul let’s wait until tomorrow.
@@TKO8974 I will never believe in a God that says I'm selfish if I don't want to "give my body" to my husband. If I'm tired, depressed, angry...etc that is enough of a reason for a woman/man to say no. Again, sex and consent should always be an overwhelming yes rather than a "well I guess God says I have to do it." Those are such toxic Christian ideals to have.
Tbh I think if you have to resort to "my spouse owes me sex/I owe my husband sex" then you have a deeper problem and framing it as "owing" someone can lead to abuse. (I'm a believer, by the way, I just think by the time you have to frame sex as a duty, then the issue is not sex...sex is a symptom of other problems and figuring out the root issues would be far more helpful in actually solving the problem)
If you only have sex with your partner because you feel guilty, and like you owe them something - that's not consent - you're basically forcing yourself to do it. That is messed up in so many ways. I hope you can inform yourself about consent, which is the same concept before and AFTER marriage
If it's a sane adult it is consent. The whole idea of being an adult is that you're responsible for your own choices. Unless the other person is blackmailing you, tricking you, or threathning you. Other then those things the reason you consent doesn't matter, it's the responisbility of both adults to not consent unless they want it.
As a Christian, I hope and pray that my young Christian family members don't fall into this kind of nonsensical, ignorant, contradictory way of thinking. You both definitely need some kind of guidance and maybe one day you'll get it but I just wish you wouldn't mislead others down this insane path with you. So sad.
@@matthewzaslavets8423the idea of selfless love only applying to the person who doesn't want to have sex and not to the person does want sex is one thing. I am a sex trafficking survivor, and as a young Christian woman I believed that I had to give my husband sex even if I didn't really want to. So I tried to, despite my trauma (without telling him what was up) I burst into tears in the middle of things and he stopped immediately, covered me, got me one of my stuffed animals and and asked me what was wrong. When I told him he was horrified and told me that if I don't have to do anything if I didn't want to. That was shocking to me, because my experience with men in addition to everything I've been taught said the opposite. And as someone who was trafficked and who has forced herself to have sex with her husband, I can tell you that the psychological effects were the same as when I forced myself to have sex with my trafficker. I couldn't be near him for weeks but at the same time I needed him there because he is my rock. He was really sweet about it though he was there for me in every way he could be. A good person doesn't guilt trip or force their spouse to have sex with them. That is rape. legally and morally speaking that is rape. I pray that we as Christians will teach our children better.
Selfless love would be prioritizing your spouse's feelings of comfort and safety by NOT making them have sex when they dont want to, rather than prioritizing your selfish desire for sex. It is important to note that purposefully WITHOLDING affection as a punishment (giving the cold shoulder) is actually abusive. I get what you mean about witholding (as a toxic action) being unhealthy. Though, it's not 'witholding' to just not want sex. But we have got to avoid the 'owing' or 'owning' language because that is exactly the kind of stuff abusers use to force their victims to perform sex acts that they dont want to perform.
I understand that there is a level of defensiveness you may feel about criticism regarding some of your advice. However, it's important to honor the fact that some of this advice can be taken in a number of ways. It can be dangerous to advocate for having sex despite not feeling like it without being incredibly cautious about the disclaimers you put around that advice. Although comments you make give me some reassurance about your dynamic as a couple (which is, of course, none of my business), it is very important to understand that advice similar to what you are providing has been used very unhealthily in MANY marriages, has enhanced very negative power dynamics, and harmed many women. Although, of course, the other extreme can be equally damaging, please understand that some people have very valid concerns regarding pieces of your advice. Although you may not (and I really believe you do not) intend for advice to be taken in that way, there are good reasons that people may hear some comments you make with concern.
Also, I believe, a spouse wanting sex should be able to be selfless too. Recognizing, my spouse is really not in a good head space or is dealing with xyz and pushing for that kind of intimacy has the potential to be damaging right now. Specifically with instances of past trauma.
As someone who grew up Christian (and still is) my parents told me the exact opposite of what you did, that selfless love means not pushing your partner to have sex if they don’t want it…
16:46 I had hyperemesis gravidarum during my pregnancies for months. My husband and I went months without sex because my body was so malnourished and dehydrated from vomiting every 10 to 15 min. (another thing this cult of P&M that I grew up in doesn't talk about is how much a woman gives up during the the nine months she is sacrificing to create another human being, sometimes giving up her life). I'm glad I married a man who didn't demand sex from me when I was withholding it. And for two of my pregnancies we weren't married, he still did the same. I feel sorry for Morgan. You are not obligated to have sex with your husband ever, and he is not obligated to have sex with you. Sometimes I'm the one in the mood, and then my husband comes home exhausted and worn out. He works a construction job and is also a stone cutter, and it is a physically laborious job. When he comes home like this and I am in the mood for sex, I let it go. I give him his rest, just as he has done for me when my body is exhausted and he's the one in the mood. He doesn't owe me sex, and I don't owe him sex. I'm glad I don't live in this sucky Christian cult that I grew up in. I would be obligated to give him a "quiver full" of children. I had my tubes tied after 3 children and one abortion. Pregnancy made me deathly ill and if I had another, I coul be another maternal mortality statistic. ❤️ My non-religious husband who doesn't see me as a brood mare.
The same thing happened to me! Lol I got hg and my husband said he didn’t care if we didn’t have sex and when it comes to sex we only do it when we both want it :) saying withholding sex is sinning is crazy
Heathen here... Thank you for calling us, Morgan. How dare you say another human cannot love selflessly if they are not a Christian? When my heathen husband passed away at 29 years old from brain cancer, his father didn't sleep for 2 months so he could work and be with him in hospital. He didn't leave his son's side. Nobody asked him, he just did it. We all did. Sleepless nights for 2 months so he wouldn't be alone. His mother and I took patient care lessons from the nurses to care for him with our own hands, to comfort him more lovingly. Guess what? We are not Christians, shockeeeer! How fucking dare you?
I understand this point of view and respect your opinion but they both explicitly stated that this specific tip from start to end was speaking to Christians, putting it a bit rudely, she wasn't talking to you, don't interrupt someone else's conversation, y'know?
@@chilipowder5900 If two people are lying and talking shit about you behind your back, you have all the right to intervene in the conversation, even if you weren't invited. These hateful stereotypes provoke damage. And don't come with the false pretense of civility of "I respect your opinion" when you're talking about the idea of other people not really having genuine human emotions, dehumanizing other people just for being different. It's disgusting. I hope you come to understand this and make use of the opportunity to grow as a person.
@@yurigagarin9765 and I hope sincerely that you learn the principle that respect is given, not earned, for a reason, and that you learn to calm your anger before accusing someone of a lie of civility when it is offered, or come with knives to a baby shower. Neither Paul nor Morgan claimed that "heathens" can't have genuine human emotions, the love a sinner feels for someone is simply different than that a Christian can feel, and I can say as someone who has experienced both, that Christian love feels cleaner and stronger. If you continue to choose to believe that every Christian believes that sinners are disgusting that's on you and the fake Christians claiming to be better, Christians are only sinners who have turned to God and are attempting to repent of their sins that we still very much do.
@@chilipowder5900 If you think that "the love a sinner feels for someone is simply different than that a Christian can feel", you are outright brainwashed, and yes, you are dehumanizing non-Christians, and that's everything but civil. Warped worldviews like yours make the world a more dangerous place.
Believer here who was married for 12 years and endured emotional/spiritual abuse and sexual coercion. Please dive deeper into the context and culture of the time when reading from Corinthians. This verse gets grossly taken out of context and is used as a weapon for so many. Consent matters, even in marriage. Entitlement for sex leads to destruction. Sex is not a need, but a deep human desire cultivated by intimacy within a relationship. It's not meant to be used sacrificially, but for mutual enjoyment within marriage. Neither partner "owns" the other. If that were the case then a marriage would be like that of a slave and master instead of an equal partnership like God designed it to be. Frequency of sex does not show how healthy a marriage is, and we are not given a "how often" in Scripture. Talking about "depriving" for a few days or weeks can be harmful in unhealthy relationships and can give the idea to a toxic person that sex must happen a lot regardless if one partner doesn't want to. While y'all claim to aim your advice solely to believers, please keep in mind that ALL people can see your videos. Being a Christian is to be Christ-like, did Jesus ever call out unbelievers or those in sin as heathens? What fruit of the Spirit are you showing people when addressing the lost this way? You come across as arrogant and self-righteous. I used to be like that as well. Don't forget, we are first called to Love people. ALL people. I also want to encourage you regarding the advice you do give. Both healthy and unhealthy people are listening. Please be mindful of what you say and how you say things. Many people do not realize they are in abusive marriages. A caveat isn't enough. Be careful that what y'all are trying to teach doesn't bring harm to others.
As a Christian, your views on “you owe your partner sex because you’re married” is disgusting. I’ve had my mom, my grandmother who shared their trauma of living in relationships like that. “Christian” men who forced themselves into them, because they were told by the church they were supposed to. Physically it hurt, some women don’t have the mind, the health, or the emotional capacity to do it. Yes we want to be loving and want to go the extra mile to give and love and do things for each other despite how we feel like tired or exhausted sometimes. But no one owes me and I don’t owe my husband. Imagine if God made you do things because you owe him. God gives free will for a reason. Forcing or even making someone do it out of obligation to you, that’s not love. It’s a contract.
Who wants Duty sex? Just get your rocks off? 90% of time it will be the husband demanding / begging from the wife. Do want to be used like a domestic prostitute. The letters to the Corinthians about about each other not owning our own bodies but the wife owns the husbands and the husband owns the wife body ( fairly tongue and cheek ) was meant more for the wife than the husband.
Forgive my bluntness, but you asked for feedback. :P It's presumptuous and ignorant to assume Christians believe that obligatory sex is good because it's "biblical", while unbelievers will not understand this and so will disagree. There are plenty of Christians who disagree with your position, who believe that obligatory sex is harmful (I'm one of them). And, there are plenty of non-Christians who believe sex SHOULD be obligatory. Regardless of what you say, your position is not "biblical" at all. Paul was writing to the Corinthians to correct the believe that all sex was bad. Instead, he was encouraging married couples to have sex freely. His point wasn't to tell husbands and wives that they owe a certain amount of sex to the other (though the verse is often hijacked to mean this, especially in exclusive favor of husbands for some reason). Verse 6 even says that Paul's words here are not a command. In fact, 1 Cor. 7:3-5 is the only passage in the New Testament that directly addresses authority in marriage, yet it portrays an undeniable equality between husbands and wives. No hint of hierarchy here, despite how strongly you push hierarchy in marriage as being "biblical." The fact is, in a healthy marriage, the idea of obligatory sex, or owing your spouse a certain amount of sex, simply doesn't come up. As soon as it comes up, that's a sign there's a deeper issue that needs to be addressed (whether relational, medical, etc.). This doesn't mean husband and wife have no obligation toward each other...of course we do, per our commitments in the marriage vows. But the driving force behind our actions toward one another need to be out of love and free choice. It is simply not good for a relationship if the driving force becomes "I owe this to you" or "you owe this to me." I'm convinced that some people who emphasize the idea of "owing" sex are afraid that, without an obligation, their spouse would never have sex with them. And if that's the case, you have way bigger problems already than can be solved by just "putting a bandaid on it" by having obligatory sex. Also, all this talk of "selfless love." Selfless love is great, until it's demanded of one but not the other. Then it becomes a weapon, which is not love at all. You talk about one spouse "giving" sex to the other as an act of love, but what about the spouse who wants sex foregoing it if the other doesn't want it (especially in order to work on whatever may need to be resolved in the relationship)? THAT would be selfless love. Certainly, no one who loves selflessly would ever expect their spouse to have sex if they don't want to. I can't imagine even enjoying sex if my wife doesn't want to be doing it. Obligatory sex has nothing to do with "selfless love." It's all about elevating the needs of one spouse over the other, which is not love at all.
1st Corinthians is NOT saying that a spouse is entitled to sex on demand. That passage was dealing with a church issue where some people believed that sex was immoral in general and had enforced celibacy in marriage as an attempt to gain self-righteousness. The apostle Paul said that was disrespecting the relationship with their spouse and failing to take them into consideration. It also didn’t make them superior in the eyes of God, so it was pointless and damaging. You’re abusing scripture and each other.
One thing religious communities never take into consideration are asexual people (whether that's because they can't fathom the idea that any person can be asexual or what, I don't know 🤷🏽♀), but asexuality can play a big role in why one person in the relationship may not want to have very sex much or even at all. As a non-believer, I'm sure my opinion won't mean anything to some believers, but this is one reason I don't agree with the "don't have sex until you're married" or the "don't engage in self-pleasure" advice. If someone is on the asexual spectrum, it may be easy for them to follow the advice of no pre-marital sex or masturbation. Then when they get married they might be expecting some kind of switch to flip in them and to want to engage in sex with their spouse, and if that doesn't happen, they can be left wondering if they're "broken" or if something is "wrong" with them--not understanding that their lack of desire for sex is just part of the sexuality.
Selfless love would be the person who does want to sleep with the one who does not putting their desires aside for the sake of said person. All married couples should learn to sort issues outside of sex. Please. Like, are we okay?? Do we really think sex is the driving force of a marriage? Come on, guys. :(
I am a christian. I think the comment about heathens (not a great choice of word) and non christians not being able to love selflessly is disrespectful and untrue. I think all can be selfless (for example: parents). I do think the reality is that we all fall short and are selfish in our nature.
(Thought I should add before going into this that I’m not heathen, I’m Christian. Regardless, you shouldn’t dismiss someone’s advice and warnings just because of their religious beliefs. That’s highly hypocritical. Anyway..) I don’t think you understand. We’re not talking about withholding sex as like, some sort of punishment. We’re talking about when someone just doesn’t want to have sex. If your partner still pressures you, and you have sex even though you didn’t want to, that is called rape! Which is a crime, even if you’re married! And you shouldn’t have to “pick it up” again the next day. You should *only* have sex if you *both* want to. Otherwise, it is literally rape. Additionally, self-exploration is perfectly fine. That’s what you can do when your partner is not up to anything, instead of pressuring them into joining you.
I’m a believer and I still take issue with the right to sex conversation. Though I dont totally reject the general concept, there’s more nuance than what’s given here. There are complex reasons around not wanting sex beyond just withholding for fun and respecting your spouse when they don’t want sex is selfless love just as much as giving sex when you don’t want it is. Why is the latter always considered the default?
That is crazy. You would think the men would want the real thing instead of looking at porn. I only watch porn because I'm single and can't get a girlfriend.
@@righteousfroce1254 If you are a Christian I would encourage you to stop. You aren’t helping yourself by doing that, but rather harming. I say that out of love, sin destroys your relationship with God and any potential person for you in the future.
I'd like to hear you talk about the exceptions in regards to sexual assault. I say this comment with all genuine love and kindness, I just want to know where you stand, since comments are often made asking about exceptions for r*pe victims in regards to abortion, not being able to humble yourself and just have sex, feeling unsafe in a church because of sexual predators, etc. You don't have to answer, just thought it would be interesting 💙
You are not entitled to your spouse body. Everyone who thinks this way is a creep and potential abuser. And I'm Christian. Go to a therapy. And Morgan if you read this - he is super childish. You deserve something better from life and he also need to listen to your needs and try to fulfill them, because man and woman in relationship are equal
About “owing” your spouse sex. We shouldn’t feel in debt to each other. That’s not a good way to look at. Thankfully you are in a safe good relationship so it doesn’t make sense to you. There are women out there that are being spiritually abused by this advice and scriptures. It’s not about never wanting to have sex but if a woman is newly postpartum, sick or on her period and having a mental health crisis she shouldn’t be told to take one for the team.
Seriously this is what some of these Christian sex books are telling women. They say when a women is on her period it is a hard time for him?? Or when she is postpartum she should be giving hand jobs..what the heck.. god expected men to have self control during those times based off of the biblical laws. They weren’t even sharing a bed with us their wives if they were bleeding
Nobody said when they are sick or in post partum. Thats just taking an extreme and acting like it make sense. Like what did you think, they were talking about sex on the death bed or something? The only debt we owe is love. "Owe man nothing but to love him." Man meaning anyone and you shouldnt love any mortal more than your spouse. And also "Do not deprive each other?" Do you think marriage is all about what you want? I thought marriage and being a christian in general was about putting others above yourself, within reason of course, but marriage is about dying to self. The concept of duty and self sacrifice is a hard one for this generation however.
I think you have a trauma that you need to work it out.... you keep making these comments and they feel they come from personal pain. It's not them you have a problem with.
They have time and time again added in the points about compromise on both sides and having periods of grace which pertain to these particular trying times in life that you mention. They have adressed all of your criticisms in a logical manner. At this point comments like this are just hate for the sake of hate or a basic lack of comprehension when it comes to the spoken word.
Paul, your mocking of consent is insulting and dangerous. Do better. Edit: For those curious, the mocking occurred during the Q&A section, which of course has been deleted.
How can you be a feminist and a christian? Stop using left wing communist pro abortion feminist speech codes. He is clearly talking about left wingers screeching about it, which really isnt about defending women but insuring control. If you are taken in by marxism made to divide people and made to dethrone God, that is your own business. Mocking a communist talking point doesn't mean he is mocking victims, because feminists dont actually care about the victims at the border or the rape gangs in europe.
And what did he say..... ? Because I bet you are the moron. But he probably needs more clarification for dense people like you. (My god..... you people have made me more sympathetic to Christians due to your weird cults)
“The Bible got the easiest moral question that humanity has ever faced wrong: slavery. What are the odds that the Bible got something as complicated as human sexuality wrong? 100%!” -Dan Savage
Slavery in the Bible was self volunteered to exchange resources, much different than our understanding today. God actually opposes slavery in the Bible. God has a say in sexuality because he created sex and our bodies.
@@paulajames6149 “As for your male and female slaves whom you may have-you may acquire male and female slaves from the pagan nations that are around you. You may also acquire them from the sons of the foreign residents who reside among you, and from their families who are with you, whom they will have produced in your land; they also may become your possession. You may also pass them on as an inheritance to your sons after you, to receive as a possession; you can use them as permanent slaves. But in respect to your countrymen, the sons of Israel, you shall not rule with severity over one another.” -Leviticus 25:44-46 That’s not “This person owes you money and has to work it off,” that’s SLAVE TRADING. If you go back to Leviticus 25:39-43, it makes it very clear who you are to treat as hired servants to pay off debts then let go back to their homes on the Year of Jubilee. If you’re a foreign slave in Leviticus 25:44-46, you’re shit out of luck.
@@paulajames6149Have you even read the bible dude?There are several passages in the Bible that could be interpreted as condoning or even promoting slavery. If you want some examples to check out: > Exodus 21:2-6 describes the different types of slaves that could be owned in ancient Israel, as well as the laws governing their treatment. For example, it says that a slave who is beaten by his master and does not die must be brought to court, and if he survives for a day or two, the master is not punished. However, if the slave dies immediately, the master must be put to death. Which seems to suggest that it is permissible for a master to beat his slave, as long as the slave does not die immediately. > Leviticus 25:44-46 says that it is permissible to buy slaves from the nations around Israel, and that they can be passed down to one's children as inheritance. It also says that slaves who convert to Judaism are to be treated as free people. This passage seems to suggest that it is permissible for Israelites to own slaves, including the children of slaves. > Paul's Letter to Philemon is a personal letter from Paul to a slave owner named Philemon. In the letter, Paul asks Philemon to forgive his runaway slave, Onesimus, and to welcome him back as a brother in Christ. However, Paul does not condemn slavery itself, and he even refers to Onesimus as Philemon's "property" (Philemon 1:16). Although of course there's no surprise that the almighty bible has contradictions (which should makes us questions its validity isn't?). Some passages, such as the ones quoted above, seem to condone or even promote slavery. However, other passages, such as the one in Deuteronomy 24:17, which says that "you shall not compel a widow or an orphan to serve as a slave," seem to suggest that slavery is not ideal. And also Leviticus 25:39 - 43 says that you should not treat a fellow Israelites as a slave even if they sell themselves to you because of poverty, and then suggest that it is wrong to treat slaves as property, and that they should be treated with compassion and respect. But the thing is... if slavery in the bible does not sound like fun and even says that Israelities shouldn't treat themselves like that since it's condemnable in that context, why is god allowing pro slavery passages on his book when it's not about Israelites slaves?? sounds like it's kinda pro slavery is some contexts.
A lack of sexual desire is often chemical. It’s a lack of hormonal balance that it can happen after having a baby and for other reasons. It takes patience and understanding to get through, not a blanket statement that you should never deny each other. I think you might consider how that could effect a couples relationship. Honestly, where is the compassion and love? This topic involves more nuance. Forcing yourself, your desire on someone who does not want it is not Christlike. Of course, you should consider doing it if your tired or allowing desire to build when you are spontaneously ready for it. But that is a different topic entirely. Anyway… I wish you all love.
Paul and Morgan, you are genuine and pure hearted. I think you can share your own thoughts and experiences but I do not recommend giving instruction or advice. You may change your mind on some of these issues as you grow in your marriage. I also think it is wise to leave room for different opinions/perspectives/sensitivities. It is also important that your audience get other spiritual people in their lives for more detailed guidance. And the most important encouragement is for the audience to study the Bible on these issues and allow the Holy Spirit to work in each individual. Sex and marriage is incredibly complex and needs much care and thought.
That verse about your bodies belonging to each other is being taken out of context here. Paul was speaking to a specific situation in which people of that church were taking vows of celibacy in order to be more ‘spiritual’ and some people who were married were also deciding to be super spiritual by being celibate . Paul is writing to debunk celibacy in marriage as a path to spirituality, instead it’s a path to marital discord. To transplant that advice to if you’re tired, stressed and depressed and it means you have a low sex drive, you still HAVE to have sex with your partner cause the bible says is IRRESPONSIBLE. If you want to apply Paul’s advice here to your marriage you could say. Celibacy isn’t a path to God or you could say that you shouldn’t make decisions about your sex life unilaterally without talking to your partner. To use these verses to say you have to have sex at least once a week regardless of what you want or your depriving your partner and not loving them selflessly is rotten garbage. Also I’m sure it’s in the comments somewhere here already but how is it selfish for one person in a marriage to not have sex cause they’re not in the mood but it’s perfectly fine for the other partner to demand sex cause the bible says? This is bad lazy theology and really bad relationship advice
Also if there are things going on in your marriage like porn use and adultery and lying; sex should not be expected until those issues are resolved. Sex is a reflection of your marriage.
You guys are self reporting. Why would you believe in a book that advocates for sexually assulting your spouse. Pressuring someone to have sex with you for the sake of religion is coercion. It will forever baffle me that these people think they understand the wants of a God based on a book written and translated by fallible human beings.
Look up Dead Sea scrolls. The bible is not mistranslated. And before you judge God, writing off his teachings, know you know nothing about love. You may claim to know love, but if you don't know God, you cannot know love, and I can tell by the bitterness of this comment you dont know Him. So search for Him in the Word, in John, in Ephesians, in James, then you can say you understand love.
@@vinnyv9023 there is nothing pro raping people in the bible. You are just making stuff up in the heat of the argument. You obviously know little about the bible. If you dont believe the bible, how can I use the bible to defend the bible? How can I defend spiritual things to unspiritual people? There is a reason for everything in the bible but I highly doubt your mocking can hear it
@@vinnyv9023 if the woman did not want to be a wife or was so absitinate that she would not sleep with him, I am sure a man would've not taken her/she would have to be redeemed. And if you think that there was not stubborn women back then who would nag a man to get away from him... well.... but keep in mind, again, you have a messed up feminist brain. A foreign slave wouldve spent most their life as a slave. With their home gone they, or later, their kids can now either leave and go to a foreign land that will likely mistreat them or stay with the Israelites who are commanded to treat them well. After several generations, foreigners would be completely integrated into full Israrlite citizens with guarenteed land and better legal standing. So, again, your femiminist brain is thinking about anger towards men. Back then, most women would've been glad to have the financial security, progeny(historically the most important thing to women), and legal rights provided to them by becoming an israelite early. And yes, Samuel told Saul to wipe out the Amalakites completely, as God told them to do in Deutoronomy, this likely has to do with the nephillim, which is of course why they told them to kill the animals as well.(gen 6, deutoronomy 9, deutoronomy 13:13). Meaning the people they weren't human. You may mock this but you are not a spiritual person, so how could you understand spiritual things?
Hi hope you are doing well... I think 19:50 - 24:00 on this video will address your concerns about the right of biblical consent . The Bible has stood the test of time and archeological challenges who's discoveries often support the Bible ie Sodom and Gamorah, the Jewish Exodus 3400 years ago. Stay safe...
@Dyson Witwer who wrote the scrolls? Oh right, HUMAN beings. Everything known about religion came from humans. You are trusting that they are telling the "truth." You are putting your faith in humans, not god.
As a young, married, Christian woman, I find Paul and Morgan’s advice to be so harmful to the Christian community as well as pushing non-christian’s further from finding God with their hateful rhetoric, using the word heathens etc. Their advice on consent within marriage gives many Christians a way to pressure their spouses into sex. I know that’s not their intent but it’s the reality. I believe that the Apostle Paul was a wise man, but we need to look at 1 Corinthians 7, the verse paul and morgan used to encourage married couples to have sex even when they don’t want it, with context. It was written by Paul who admitted he didn’t fully understand marriage as he never experienced it himself. Yes, my body is my husbands and his is mine meaning we share experiences together and do not have sex with others outside of our marriage, BUT that doesn’t mean his body is mine to TAKE or pressure into having without his willing and excited consent. Feeling forced to have sex is not CONSENSUAL SEX. Please stop misleading young Christians. You are not therapists!! You have no credentials. You are not fit to give this advice other than the fact that you happen to be Christian, heavily opinionated, and married.
Hahaha!!! 🤣 "Hey, you know that expert advice that says learning one's own body in private is one way to enhance one's sex life...the purose being to traverse any awkwardness around exploration of sensitivities, abilities, kinks etc. alone - thus sparing urself & ur partner embarrassment & a night, or 5, of awkward, unsatisfying sex. In other words, practice & get good @ pleasing urself so things go smoothly with your partner & ur able to guide them knowledgeably." "We agree with this, with one caveat. The caveat being that you should explore & go through the trial-and-error process with your spouse. Make sure your self-exploration takes place with a chaperone. Allow your spouse to fumble around doing things to you that you ultimately WON'T enjoy, & embrace the discomfort of having to continuously tell your partner they're not doing it right. Don't take shortcuts by figuring urself out ahead of time & then letting ur partner "cheat on the test" by providing the answer key. We don't actually have a rational reason for our stance on this one, but it sounds super-Christian."
Yep, gotta touch on this owing conversation. It, as you said, does NOT equate TAKING or lack of consent. If both spouses LOVE each other, my husband won't "require" sex when I (for example) have a migraine. But I'll also give myself to him even when I've had a rough day (sex can be the best remedy anyway). It's the withholding, as you said, for weeks or more, especially to "punish." It's at least as bad to me as withholding food to a naughty child. It's NOT an excuse for affairs to happen, but it's setting the stage for bitterness, resentment, unfaithful thoughts and actions, etc.
The scripture used is wildly misunderstood and misused. It addresses both husband and wife. It asks both husband and wife to yield. Husband are to yield. Wives are to yield. The key here is that each are to make the decision for themselves = consent. No where does it tell the husband, your wife’s body is yours. It tells the husband your body is your wife’s. It is completely different. Therefore, if the wife does not want to have sex it is within the bounds of scripture. Now this only works in a mutually yielding marriage. If it is not a mutually yielding marriage then there needs to be a discussion because there is more than likely other issues in the marriage. This verse does not condone abuse or coersion.
Morgan is right, but I don't know if I'd use the word "owe". When you're married, the only person your partner can get sex from is you. Why make your partner suffer that way? Sex isn't supposed to be a way to punish, or used to barter. If one of you feel like you don't ever want it, go see a doctor, or go to a sex counselor with your partner as you two have suggested. Sex is a need, not a want, as far as I'm concerned. Knowing that you're the only person who can provide that and withholding it is one of the most selfish things you can do in a marriage.
I disagree with the first part. I do think that sex is "owed". The proof is that if a spouse withholds sex for a long period of time, that spouse is in sin, because sex is a duty/right. Paul says in 1 Corinthians 7 that "the husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband" (esv) / "the husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband." (niv). Maybe this is a semantic thing for you, but the principle is definitely biblical
@@apracity7672, I think that word puts an ugly twist on something that should be freely given. Maybe "honored" is a better word? We should honor our promises to each other and God by giving ourselves to each other freely.
Hey, so I came here from Genetically Modified Skeptic's reaction video to this, and just want to say that although I don't have a Biblical approach to life per se, you still seem to me like a great couple and like there's really quite a lot to agree on, I think, between modern Christians like yourselves and others. When it comes to marital relations, I think a lot of the conclusions are the same, just the route to get there is different.
I really appreciate your ministry and what you guys are doing. This generation needs you. God bless you so much and keep you on the straight and narrow for the rest of your life.
Yea no. "This generation" doesn't need sex without consent, in fact, no generation needs sex without consent. Feeling like you "owe" your partner sex is the most toxic fucking thing possible.
Where is the proof to any of these statements. I literally left organized religion because of these kind of viewpoints. (Example: I was dating a non-Christian and when he came up within the first minute of conversation at church, it became all about him and if he was a Christian and why were we together if he wasn’t) it’s the epitome of why I left because the church is more concerned with the end results than the individual.
I have a concern about Paul because he wears a flat-brimmed hat. i’m worried he might not be aware that those hats are worn by the homosexual street crime social clubs. members of those clubs seeing another man wearing a hat like that will become aroused and potentially ask the person out on a date or to commit a crime together. I don’t wanna see Paul get mixed up with the wrong crowd. He could try wearing a dink instead, those short-billed beanies worn by college pledges in 1920s.
Morgan said 'you guys just do whatever the heck you do. We’re not talking to you.' That’s a complete slap in the face to the mission gifted us by our Lord and savior Jesus Christ to spread the word. We are commissioned to announce the good news and spread the word. What Morgan said is a heretical insult to the apostles and completely contradicts Jesus is commandment to go forth, to knock on doors, to preach on the sidelines at the sports ball games, to insist, nay DEMAND that public schools display the 10 Commandments, that the really derivative and repetitive acoustic folky sappy so-called Christian rock be brought into the rotation of popular music radio stations. if Morgan is preaching that no commitment to evangelizing is required of us, that’s just an insult to all the door knocking done by Prince and a diss to hundreds of years of missionary work in Africa and South America. I hope that very soon the Holy Ghost spirit speaks to Morgan to disabuse her of false doctrine because the fate of her immoral soul is at stake.
Compromise can also be seen as a husband giving space to their wife and not shaming them or demanding sex... it goes both ways. Marriage is a reflection of Christ and The Church/ His bride. The church doesn't owe anything to Jesus since we were saved by grace and vice versa; Jesus didn't owe his bride salvation, yet because of his unfailing love, pursuit and PATIENCE, he won his bride. And because He loved us FIRST, we can love him. Humans are complicated beings with real trauma and emotions. Nothing should be done because it is "demanded", but willingly. Without rambling. Yes you should have sex in your marriage. It's a gift. Sex is good. But nothing is OWED* it's just something that SHOULD happen in a healthy functioning marriage. An unbeliever rejecting that idea is not because they're unbelievers but have reason. You should read about the amount of Christian women that have forced themselves to have sex in their marriage because of duty... examinations have shown that their genitals show signs of sexual abuse.. It's worth reading into it before you speak on the topic. -from a die hard JESUS loving believer 🤍🤍🤍
I agree. It needs to be mutual. Plus I am a believer but also believe somethings have been added to the Bible. Let's use common sense & respect our spouse & not force or coerce them into something they're not feeling up to. I mean if someone really didn't want to, I wouldn't want for them to feel like they're just self- sacrificiallly loving me.... that's fake.
I understand your opinion, but it's only partially biblical. 1 Corinthians 7: 3 clearly and unequivocally says that sex is a duty/right (look at the ESV and NIV translation). Maybe this is a semantic thing for you, I don't know
The Church owes total submission and obedience to the Savior. Do we fall short of that? Sure, but that doesn't mean we don't owe it. Paul called himself the bondservant, slave in some translations, of Christ.
"Heathens don't know selfless love"...interesting considering you go on to explain that if you are not selfless it is a sin, but avoiding sin is a selfish act and isn't actually selfless is it? I would say us "heathans" know more about selfless love than Christians precisely because when we are selfless we do it without some external pressure (sin or the fear of some invisible man) forcing our hand.
In the Old Testament, the name, Morgan is a male name. It’s meaning is “she who does not look at the camera." She has to change it to Morgana to get right with the Lord.
The world tells people they need to have sex with everything that moves and nobody panics. Paul tells people," humble yourself and have sex," if an argument interrupts plans for intimacy, and everyone loses their minds.
So please provide your evidence that supports your claims related to masturbation. You guys are spreading a lot of false information claiming to know the related research. You obviously do not.
Really liked/appreciate a lot of points you guys brought up! One thing you heavily emphasized was the fact that the husband and wife owe each other sex and that it is selfish to withhold that from your spouse, which I understand. But what about abstinence? That can be another way to sacrifice in certain situations. I would love to hear your thoughts on abstinence and under what circumstances you think it is appropriate in marriage.
The Bible verses they read answers this question. If both agree in order to fast and prayer. That’s the only way abstinence in marriage is not sinful. In regards to health issues or like for 6 weeks postpartum, I believe, unless you are fasting and praying during this time, you can still be together intimately without penetration.
Please don’t listen to their advice. You don’t owe your partner sex. Sex is a beautiful thing when both parties consent. Doing it as a chore is honestly just sad and they are gross for spewing this rhetoric. If you don’t wanna have sex, then don’t have sex. It’s really that simple.
@@hannahgp first of all it’s not advice. It’s straight from the Bible. If it’s a bizarre way of thinking than you must not believe in the whole Bible cause that’s where this came from. Not from me. Second, no one said anything about sex being a chore. We shouldn’t abstain according to the Bible. That doesn’t equal sex being a chore. If you don’t enjoy sex with your spouse then that’s a while different issue. And yes, it’s an issue that needs to be worked out. The Bible is very clear that sex is good and pleasurable. No one should view it as a “chore”. It’s a great blessing and gift in marriage. You don’t have to understand my point of view but read the Bible, specifically Song of Solomon and see if you still believe that “sex is a chore and you don’t have to if you don’t want to “.
@@makayla6712 stop spreading this bullshit that someone has to have sex if they don’t want to just because it’s the way you interpret the Bible. No one has to give up their body if they don’t want to and they should not be shamed for it, period.
Real talk some of the ads that are running on this video aren't great. One of them was about buying weed gummies online. I don't know if that's a concern for you, but I thought I'd share.
Hey, I have a question about the enemy wanting to keep your clothes on when your married. Cause I have heard this a lot but I don’t understand how that works, like are there feelings of shame or your just simply too busy. Its just not clear to me cause nobody ever explains. Im not yet married so I do understand the wanting of taking your clothes off 😅
Some associate sex with fear/shame/sense of pressure after all the emphasis on staying pure, or have abuse trauma. There can be underlying resentment in the relationship, issues with the spouse dynamic, exhaustion, shame around specific fantasies/desires, trouble relaxing & getting out of your head, medical problems that impact sex, unrealistic standards absorbed from porn so that real sex seems unappealing... etc. You communicate & find solutions together.
This statement in my opinion is false. Sexual desires all come from God. It is not Satan. The bible says we are tempted because we are sinful. It is our sinful desire to be selfish. As far as in our marriage, somtimes everyday life is exhausting and busy. It may take a selfless act to give after you are spent.
Every video you make helps people have hope & be free! God is using you in extraordinary ways! Thank you for revealing the truth in a world FULL of deceit!
To me the statement that nonbelievers don't know selfless love, isn't showing the compassion Christ modeled that we try to follow. Jesus counseled that a kind Samaritan-- an outsider who Jesus' people hated, & viewed as sinners & an active opponents of their faith-- could show the love prescribed in the First Commandment at least as well as many Jews. The relationship between Jews & Samaritans at the time parallels the relationship between contemporary Christians & nonChristians. Why shouldn't we recognize the humanity & love in outsiders as much as Jesus did? (Not trying to act like everything that comes out my mouth is perfect cuz it super isn't)
When sex becomes a game or leverage or anything else then what God designed it to be its so dangerous. For Christians.. I’m not married or in a relationship but I’ve had my past of sexual darkness and that’s all sex is in the world. The with holding sex and stuff part is so good it’s all about being on the same team 👍🏼
thank you paul and morgan for talking about this topic! it is so important, and i honestly cannot understand all the hate :)). very helpful 🎉 keep on doing this
ahhh im a senior at berea college and i pass through lex all the time😭 if you guys ever do a meet n greet or event type thing i would definitely love to come.
This is a little random but do you think it'd be crazy to request that if your spouse has had sex with an ex partner in the past (having repented of that and striving to live a Godly life) and if it was in the bed that they currently have and you planned to move in with them after marriage, to ask for a new bed to kind of start fresh? I think i'd feel weird if I knew the bed we were sharing was previously fornicated in with another woman..
Thank you, I appreciate you giving your perspective. If I know it's going to be in the back of my mind, I think it makes sense too. But he may have already bought a new one after the separation. I'll have to ask at some point
I'm just a rando but if it's important to you & you two can afford it, that seems like a good reset & symbol of starting fresh. Beds are an intimate (and absorbent 😬) space.
I truly don't think you guys realize that the issue is with the bible verse itself not necessarily how you describe what it means TO YOU. It literally says the decision to not have sex has to be MUTUAL. That verse itself ( I grew up in a pretty strict Baptist church and community) has been used to abuse MANY women in strict Christian homes. BOTH of you in this video describe sex in your marriage (in regards to this topic) in a healthy way that doesn't even mesh with the verse you are saying you're standing behind. That verse is extremely problematic an dangerous and doesn't give enough nuance to guide a healthy loving relationship
Keep going with this content guys. It’s really encouraging. And totally agree with Morgan that they enemy wants you to take your clothes off before marriage but keep them on post marriage, ain’t that a fact 😅. Having sex before marriage with others has had huge consequences on my marriage, and still continues to do so but can see such a difference from couple counselling. It’s hard enough merging two lives that have different expectations and wounds from childhood then you add in the complexity of knowing others, hopefully from personal experience I can explain effectively why you do wait to my daughter when she’s old enough. If you haven’t already, do you have a list of recommended sex advice material? God bless from New Zealand!
I love how you reject withholding sex. I have found myself withholding it because of selfish reasons like not wanting to stop what I am doing or being too lazy. But then when I lay down my selfishness and have that time with my husband I enjoy it and brings strength to our marriage. So many people do not understand the concept you are communicating and that is okay. But there are many of us who are so thankful you speak the truth you do. Not everyone liked the truth Jesus spoke during his ministry but it was necessary for growth.
Hey brother Paul and sister Morgan. Praise the Lord for doing what you do. We smash and reject the popular twisted advice from this world as you all do. Much love from Nash!
All good things! Can we also recognize if one spouse’s libido is way off, then maybe they should go get their hormone’s checked? Absolutely, even in that time a spouse can be selfless. However, hormones have so so much to do with sex drive and so much more too. But definitely worth getting checked.
I have a concern about Paul because he wears a flat-brimmed hat. i’m worried he might not be aware that those hats are worn by the homosexual street crime social clubs. members of those clubs seeing another man wearing a hat like that will become aroused and potentially ask the person out on a date or to commit a crime together. I don’t wanna see Paul get mixed up with the wrong crowd. He could try wearing a dink instead, those short-billed beanies worn by college pledges in 1920s.
Hey Fam, thoughts on the “I don’t owe my spouse anything” drama?
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I have to say before I saw this video, I was am advocate of "If i don't want to, I don't really have to" .. but now I understand more. Sex within marriage is not about consent only, it is about communication, selflesness and being one with the spouse. There are reasons why one of the spouses do not want sex. And that is an opportunity to the one who wants sex to listen and understand and know his/her spouse. Both will learn to let go of or maybe work on what holds them back from an act of union: is it selfishness or other wounds of the past. It is an opportunity to heal and to perfect the fusion as one body. It is an occasion also to choose to consider the partner's heart instead of my physical desires. Because I think both the one who wants it and the one who does not want sex should be selfless and talk through it. What bother one shiuld be the other's concern since they are one body. This video reminded me and also taught me more about the real importance of sex in marriage. so.. thank you 🤗✨
I think it’s so good to have these conversations with your spouse. My husband and I generally don’t ever say no if the other person asks for sex. There are definitely exceptions, like for health reasons, but generally speaking we don’t withhold sex from another. The Bible is clear that abstaining from sex within marriage is only for prayer and fasting, IF BOTH people agree. My body is my husbands and his body is mine.
actually a question, what if I'm genuinely uncomfortable having sex even though me and him have had it before, I just happen to be genuinely uncomfortable this particular time through no fault of his own, what there? (btw this is not a real situation it's just a hypothetical situation)
@@chilipowder5900 if that were the situation for someone, which it is for many people, I’d recommend figuring out the root cause of the discomfort. A lot of people with past history of abuse, struggle in this area that finding the root cause, and dealing with past trauma can truly help. There’s always a root cause. Whether it’s abuse, neglect, guilt/shame, sexual immorality, distance from God, selfishness, pride, etc.
The point of sex is to connect with your spouse so if you were uncomfortable, I think that something you would need to work on. Sex was designed by God in order to please your spouse. The goal should be for both spouses to want to please each other. It should not be about yourself. Find something you are comfortable with and start there as you work through figuring out why it makes you uncomfortable. Don’t settle for less just because it’s difficult. That would be my advice. Hard is not the same thing as bad.
@@makayla6712 this is a better response than I could have asked for, thank you
To preface this my husband and I are Christians. I am also a sex trafficking survivor. I have been raped almost 300 times. My husband knows this. I have severe ptsd and significant issues around sex. His idea of selfless love is not being okay with having sex with someone knowing it will psychologically damage them in that moment. To him selfless love is choosing to not force me to have sex with him just because we are married. In fact his selfless love goes so deep that even if we are in the act of sex and I have a flashback or start crying ask him to stop, he does. He can't enjoy if I'm not. My selfless love for him is the same. He has anxiety and depression and if he's unwell I love him enough to abstain until he is doing better.That's just who we are as a good christian couple. You two are very young, and you have a lot to learn. This was honestly really triggering to watch, and this comment was hard to write. I hope you young'uns take this to heart, you are good people. You also have a lot of subscribers and I hate to think of the young men AND women who end up in sexually abusive marriages because of misguided advice.
If having sex with your partner even when you don't want to is selfless, how about not forcing yourself on your partner when they don't want to? Is that not selfless too? Funny how only one person is required to act selfless...
If a spouse is not wanting sex, you should explore why that is - an unresolved fight, something bothered them but they didn't feel safe to address is, depression, whatever. Trying to take care of your spouse so they want to have sex with you again is imo the more selfless love.
Well, if it's the man who's wanting and his wife's "unwilling" then no wonder they think the wife should be the one to give in...
When my husband and I were receiving religious premarital counseling, my pastor told me that I was solely in charge of keeping my husband "in check" concerning our physical boundaries. I ate that bs up at the time but looking back, I realize now that it just makes men sound weak and immature.
I'm Christian (though not conservative) & so agree. My spouse didn't want to have sex for a long stretch this year. It wouldn't have been a selfless act for her to push through it-- it would've made me feel *horrible*. We decided she'd get counseling. Realized she had stuck feelings of shame and fear from all the "don't have sex, it's a sin" she absorbed in church as a child/teen-- those feelings didn't disappear when we got married, and a recent experience had dredged them up. Her desire is naturally coming back as she heals on that deeper level.
There are degrees of unwillingness-- like, sometimes I don't feel like getting up off the couch, but feel way better once Im out walking. If it's like that, fine, push through if you both feel that's best. But many many people have more serious personal/relationship issues manifesting in their lack of desire. Imo, figure out what you're even dealing with, & address it accordingly.
Where did anyone tell anyone else to force themselves? Why in the world is this even a sentence you need to right, considering that not once has anything like that been suggested in the video?
Where do they support forcing yourself on your partner? They mention compromise.
There is a beautiful medium where you have mutual consent for a time to not fulfill your spouse's desire for a time of prayer, a time of forgiveness, and healing, or a time you just don't want to.
You do not owe your wife or your husband your body. It is not about being selfless. There are sometimes deeper things going on and sex CAN become an emotionally difficult thing to do. No one enjoys sex when it feels like a responsibility or a chore.
You need to read your Bible more. Your body doesn't belong to you, it belongs to your spouse. And their body belongs to you. Enjoyment of sex is not spoken of in the Bible, but you are commanded to have sex with your spouse.
@@mroffensive6934 lol okay "Mr Offensive." If you think the Bible supports sexual assault thats on you.
@@TKO8974 Selfishness is great. And working on trauma is important. But even if I had no trauma- I should be able to feel COMFORTABLE WITH MY SPOUSE to say no at any time.
@@nicolestrickland90 I agree yes like Morgan said you should, we all should. But that’s not selfish necessarily, that’s could be different again like Morgan said ♥️ she has told Paul let’s wait until tomorrow.
@@TKO8974 I will never believe in a God that says I'm selfish if I don't want to "give my body" to my husband. If I'm tired, depressed, angry...etc that is enough of a reason for a woman/man to say no. Again, sex and consent should always be an overwhelming yes rather than a "well I guess God says I have to do it." Those are such toxic Christian ideals to have.
Tbh I think if you have to resort to "my spouse owes me sex/I owe my husband sex" then you have a deeper problem and framing it as "owing" someone can lead to abuse.
(I'm a believer, by the way, I just think by the time you have to frame sex as a duty, then the issue is not sex...sex is a symptom of other problems and figuring out the root issues would be far more helpful in actually solving the problem)
Exactly this!
If you only have sex with your partner because you feel guilty, and like you owe them something - that's not consent - you're basically forcing yourself to do it. That is messed up in so many ways. I hope you can inform yourself about consent, which is the same concept before and AFTER marriage
It is, by definition, rape. If you are coerced into an act of sex, that is rape.
If it's a sane adult it is consent. The whole idea of being an adult is that you're responsible for your own choices. Unless the other person is blackmailing you, tricking you, or threathning you.
Other then those things the reason you consent doesn't matter, it's the responisbility of both adults to not consent unless they want it.
@@Legal.Knievel luckily not everywhere :)
As a Christian, I hope and pray that my young Christian family members don't fall into this kind of nonsensical, ignorant, contradictory way of thinking. You both definitely need some kind of guidance and maybe one day you'll get it but I just wish you wouldn't mislead others down this insane path with you. So sad.
Can you be more exact with what's wrong? By saying it more clearly you may help others to not stray as well, and I'm genuinely curious
@@matthewzaslavets8423the idea of selfless love only applying to the person who doesn't want to have sex and not to the person does want sex is one thing. I am a sex trafficking survivor, and as a young Christian woman I believed that I had to give my husband sex even if I didn't really want to. So I tried to, despite my trauma (without telling him what was up) I burst into tears in the middle of things and he stopped immediately, covered me, got me one of my stuffed animals and and asked me what was wrong. When I told him he was horrified and told me that if I don't have to do anything if I didn't want to. That was shocking to me, because my experience with men in addition to everything I've been taught said the opposite. And as someone who was trafficked and who has forced herself to have sex with her husband, I can tell you that the psychological effects were the same as when I forced myself to have sex with my trafficker. I couldn't be near him for weeks but at the same time I needed him there because he is my rock. He was really sweet about it though he was there for me in every way he could be. A good person doesn't guilt trip or force their spouse to have sex with them. That is rape. legally and morally speaking that is rape. I pray that we as Christians will teach our children better.
As a young married christian, I agree wholeheartedly. Their message is so harmful to young Christians.
Selfless love would be prioritizing your spouse's feelings of comfort and safety by NOT making them have sex when they dont want to, rather than prioritizing your selfish desire for sex.
It is important to note that purposefully WITHOLDING affection as a punishment (giving the cold shoulder) is actually abusive. I get what you mean about witholding (as a toxic action) being unhealthy. Though, it's not 'witholding' to just not want sex. But we have got to avoid the 'owing' or 'owning' language because that is exactly the kind of stuff abusers use to force their victims to perform sex acts that they dont want to perform.
I understand that there is a level of defensiveness you may feel about criticism regarding some of your advice. However, it's important to honor the fact that some of this advice can be taken in a number of ways. It can be dangerous to advocate for having sex despite not feeling like it without being incredibly cautious about the disclaimers you put around that advice. Although comments you make give me some reassurance about your dynamic as a couple (which is, of course, none of my business), it is very important to understand that advice similar to what you are providing has been used very unhealthily in MANY marriages, has enhanced very negative power dynamics, and harmed many women. Although, of course, the other extreme can be equally damaging, please understand that some people have very valid concerns regarding pieces of your advice. Although you may not (and I really believe you do not) intend for advice to be taken in that way, there are good reasons that people may hear some comments you make with concern.
Appreciate the perspective, Maggie
Also, I believe, a spouse wanting sex should be able to be selfless too. Recognizing, my spouse is really not in a good head space or is dealing with xyz and pushing for that kind of intimacy has the potential to be damaging right now. Specifically with instances of past trauma.
🙏👍
As someone who grew up Christian (and still is) my parents told me the exact opposite of what you did, that selfless love means not pushing your partner to have sex if they don’t want it…
16:46 I had hyperemesis gravidarum during my pregnancies for months. My husband and I went months without sex because my body was so malnourished and dehydrated from vomiting every 10 to 15 min. (another thing this cult of P&M that I grew up in doesn't talk about is how much a woman gives up during the the nine months she is sacrificing to create another human being, sometimes giving up her life).
I'm glad I married a man who didn't demand sex from me when I was withholding it. And for two of my pregnancies we weren't married, he still did the same.
I feel sorry for Morgan. You are not obligated to have sex with your husband ever, and he is not obligated to have sex with you. Sometimes I'm the one in the mood, and then my husband comes home exhausted and worn out. He works a construction job and is also a stone cutter, and it is a physically laborious job. When he comes home like this and I am in the mood for sex, I let it go. I give him his rest, just as he has done for me when my body is exhausted and he's the one in the mood. He doesn't owe me sex, and I don't owe him sex.
I'm glad I don't live in this sucky Christian cult that I grew up in. I would be obligated to give him a "quiver full" of children. I had my tubes tied after 3 children and one abortion. Pregnancy made me deathly ill and if I had another, I coul be another maternal mortality statistic.
❤️ My non-religious husband who doesn't see me as a brood mare.
The same thing happened to me! Lol I got hg and my husband said he didn’t care if we didn’t have sex and when it comes to sex we only do it when we both want it :) saying withholding sex is sinning is crazy
No, selfless love is accepting that my spouse does not exist for my sexual pleasure, vice versa.
Do you guys not acknowledge that marital rape is a real thing? If so that's alarming
Heathen here... Thank you for calling us, Morgan.
How dare you say another human cannot love selflessly if they are not a Christian?
When my heathen husband passed away at 29 years old from brain cancer, his father didn't sleep for 2 months so he could work and be with him in hospital. He didn't leave his son's side. Nobody asked him, he just did it. We all did. Sleepless nights for 2 months so he wouldn't be alone. His mother and I took patient care lessons from the nurses to care for him with our own hands, to comfort him more lovingly.
Guess what? We are not Christians, shockeeeer!
How fucking dare you?
I understand this point of view and respect your opinion but they both explicitly stated that this specific tip from start to end was speaking to Christians, putting it a bit rudely, she wasn't talking to you, don't interrupt someone else's conversation, y'know?
This was a big mistake on Morgan’s part. I am deeply sorry and I hope she will apologize. Everyone has the capacity to love and to love selflessly.
@@chilipowder5900 If two people are lying and talking shit about you behind your back, you have all the right to intervene in the conversation, even if you weren't invited. These hateful stereotypes provoke damage. And don't come with the false pretense of civility of "I respect your opinion" when you're talking about the idea of other people not really having genuine human emotions, dehumanizing other people just for being different. It's disgusting. I hope you come to understand this and make use of the opportunity to grow as a person.
@@yurigagarin9765 and I hope sincerely that you learn the principle that respect is given, not earned, for a reason, and that you learn to calm your anger before accusing someone of a lie of civility when it is offered, or come with knives to a baby shower.
Neither Paul nor Morgan claimed that "heathens" can't have genuine human emotions, the love a sinner feels for someone is simply different than that a Christian can feel, and I can say as someone who has experienced both, that Christian love feels cleaner and stronger. If you continue to choose to believe that every Christian believes that sinners are disgusting that's on you and the fake Christians claiming to be better, Christians are only sinners who have turned to God and are attempting to repent of their sins that we still very much do.
@@chilipowder5900 If you think that "the love a sinner feels for someone is simply different than that a Christian can feel", you are outright brainwashed, and yes, you are dehumanizing non-Christians, and that's everything but civil. Warped worldviews like yours make the world a more dangerous place.
Believer here who was married for 12 years and endured emotional/spiritual abuse and sexual coercion.
Please dive deeper into the context and culture of the time when reading from Corinthians. This verse gets grossly taken out of context and is used as a weapon for so many. Consent matters, even in marriage. Entitlement for sex leads to destruction. Sex is not a need, but a deep human desire cultivated by intimacy within a relationship. It's not meant to be used sacrificially, but for mutual enjoyment within marriage. Neither partner "owns" the other. If that were the case then a marriage would be like that of a slave and master instead of an equal partnership like God designed it to be. Frequency of sex does not show how healthy a marriage is, and we are not given a "how often" in Scripture. Talking about "depriving" for a few days or weeks can be harmful in unhealthy relationships and can give the idea to a toxic person that sex must happen a lot regardless if one partner doesn't want to.
While y'all claim to aim your advice solely to believers, please keep in mind that ALL people can see your videos. Being a Christian is to be Christ-like, did Jesus ever call out unbelievers or those in sin as heathens? What fruit of the Spirit are you showing people when addressing the lost this way? You come across as arrogant and self-righteous. I used to be like that as well. Don't forget, we are first called to Love people. ALL people.
I also want to encourage you regarding the advice you do give. Both healthy and unhealthy people are listening. Please be mindful of what you say and how you say things. Many people do not realize they are in abusive marriages. A caveat isn't enough. Be careful that what y'all are trying to teach doesn't bring harm to others.
I think you only see the abusive marriages when in reallity there are mutch more problems with sexless marriges , adultery , divorces
As a Christian, your views on “you owe your partner sex because you’re married” is disgusting.
I’ve had my mom, my grandmother who shared their trauma of living in relationships like that. “Christian” men who forced themselves into them, because they were told by the church they were supposed to.
Physically it hurt, some women don’t have the mind, the health, or the emotional capacity to do it. Yes we want to be loving and want to go the extra mile to give and love and do things for each other despite how we feel like tired or exhausted sometimes.
But no one owes me and I don’t owe my husband. Imagine if God made you do things because you owe him. God gives free will for a reason.
Forcing or even making someone do it out of obligation to you, that’s not love. It’s a contract.
👉🏼 Nothing revs up your sex-life like sticking to an agreement you compromised on out of a sense of duty! ⚠️
Who wants Duty sex? Just get your rocks off? 90% of time it will be the husband demanding / begging from the wife.
Do want to be used like a domestic prostitute.
The letters to the Corinthians about about each other not owning our own bodies but the wife owns the husbands and the husband owns the wife body ( fairly tongue and cheek ) was meant more for the wife than the husband.
Forgive my bluntness, but you asked for feedback. :P
It's presumptuous and ignorant to assume Christians believe that obligatory sex is good because it's "biblical", while unbelievers will not understand this and so will disagree. There are plenty of Christians who disagree with your position, who believe that obligatory sex is harmful (I'm one of them). And, there are plenty of non-Christians who believe sex SHOULD be obligatory.
Regardless of what you say, your position is not "biblical" at all. Paul was writing to the Corinthians to correct the believe that all sex was bad. Instead, he was encouraging married couples to have sex freely. His point wasn't to tell husbands and wives that they owe a certain amount of sex to the other (though the verse is often hijacked to mean this, especially in exclusive favor of husbands for some reason). Verse 6 even says that Paul's words here are not a command. In fact, 1 Cor. 7:3-5 is the only passage in the New Testament that directly addresses authority in marriage, yet it portrays an undeniable equality between husbands and wives. No hint of hierarchy here, despite how strongly you push hierarchy in marriage as being "biblical."
The fact is, in a healthy marriage, the idea of obligatory sex, or owing your spouse a certain amount of sex, simply doesn't come up. As soon as it comes up, that's a sign there's a deeper issue that needs to be addressed (whether relational, medical, etc.). This doesn't mean husband and wife have no obligation toward each other...of course we do, per our commitments in the marriage vows. But the driving force behind our actions toward one another need to be out of love and free choice. It is simply not good for a relationship if the driving force becomes "I owe this to you" or "you owe this to me." I'm convinced that some people who emphasize the idea of "owing" sex are afraid that, without an obligation, their spouse would never have sex with them. And if that's the case, you have way bigger problems already than can be solved by just "putting a bandaid on it" by having obligatory sex.
Also, all this talk of "selfless love." Selfless love is great, until it's demanded of one but not the other. Then it becomes a weapon, which is not love at all. You talk about one spouse "giving" sex to the other as an act of love, but what about the spouse who wants sex foregoing it if the other doesn't want it (especially in order to work on whatever may need to be resolved in the relationship)? THAT would be selfless love. Certainly, no one who loves selflessly would ever expect their spouse to have sex if they don't want to. I can't imagine even enjoying sex if my wife doesn't want to be doing it. Obligatory sex has nothing to do with "selfless love." It's all about elevating the needs of one spouse over the other, which is not love at all.
🙌
1st Corinthians is NOT saying that a spouse is entitled to sex on demand. That passage was dealing with a church issue where some people believed that sex was immoral in general and had enforced celibacy in marriage as an attempt to gain self-righteousness. The apostle Paul said that was disrespecting the relationship with their spouse and failing to take them into consideration. It also didn’t make them superior in the eyes of God, so it was pointless and damaging.
You’re abusing scripture and each other.
One thing religious communities never take into consideration are asexual people (whether that's because they can't fathom the idea that any person can be asexual or what, I don't know 🤷🏽♀), but asexuality can play a big role in why one person in the relationship may not want to have very sex much or even at all. As a non-believer, I'm sure my opinion won't mean anything to some believers, but this is one reason I don't agree with the "don't have sex until you're married" or the "don't engage in self-pleasure" advice.
If someone is on the asexual spectrum, it may be easy for them to follow the advice of no pre-marital sex or masturbation. Then when they get married they might be expecting some kind of switch to flip in them and to want to engage in sex with their spouse, and if that doesn't happen, they can be left wondering if they're "broken" or if something is "wrong" with them--not understanding that their lack of desire for sex is just part of the sexuality.
Selfless love would be the person who does want to sleep with the one who does not putting their desires aside for the sake of said person. All married couples should learn to sort issues outside of sex. Please. Like, are we okay?? Do we really think sex is the driving force of a marriage? Come on, guys. :(
I am a christian. I think the comment about heathens (not a great choice of word) and non christians not being able to love selflessly is disrespectful and untrue. I think all can be selfless (for example: parents). I do think the reality is that we all fall short and are selfish in our nature.
(Thought I should add before going into this that I’m not heathen, I’m Christian. Regardless, you shouldn’t dismiss someone’s advice and warnings just because of their religious beliefs. That’s highly hypocritical. Anyway..)
I don’t think you understand. We’re not talking about withholding sex as like, some sort of punishment. We’re talking about when someone just doesn’t want to have sex. If your partner still pressures you, and you have sex even though you didn’t want to, that is called rape! Which is a crime, even if you’re married! And you shouldn’t have to “pick it up” again the next day. You should *only* have sex if you *both* want to. Otherwise, it is literally rape.
Additionally, self-exploration is perfectly fine. That’s what you can do when your partner is not up to anything, instead of pressuring them into joining you.
I’m a believer and I still take issue with the right to sex conversation. Though I dont totally reject the general concept, there’s more nuance than what’s given here. There are complex reasons around not wanting sex beyond just withholding for fun and respecting your spouse when they don’t want sex is selfless love just as much as giving sex when you don’t want it is. Why is the latter always considered the default?
They did include that factor into the conversation though, did you just not listen?
@@morgianasartre6709 exactly. It's like these people don't even listen to its entirety. 🤦🏼♀️
Thanks for Atleast calling out men who have porn addictions and don’t want to have sex with their wives bc this is very real. For me personally
I’m sorry to hear that. It can be devastating.
That is crazy. You would think the men would want the real thing instead of looking at porn. I only watch porn because I'm single and can't get a girlfriend.
@@righteousfroce1254that’s addiction for you. Also I pray that you can stop. Especially if you’re. A Christian
Because they end up addicted. Quite now while you are single.
@@righteousfroce1254 If you are a Christian I would encourage you to stop. You aren’t helping yourself by doing that, but rather harming. I say that out of love, sin destroys your relationship with God and any potential person for you in the future.
I'd like to hear you talk about the exceptions in regards to sexual assault. I say this comment with all genuine love and kindness, I just want to know where you stand, since comments are often made asking about exceptions for r*pe victims in regards to abortion, not being able to humble yourself and just have sex, feeling unsafe in a church because of sexual predators, etc. You don't have to answer, just thought it would be interesting 💙
You are not entitled to your spouse body. Everyone who thinks this way is a creep and potential abuser. And I'm Christian. Go to a therapy. And Morgan if you read this - he is super childish. You deserve something better from life and he also need to listen to your needs and try to fulfill them, because man and woman in relationship are equal
About “owing” your spouse sex. We shouldn’t feel in debt to each other. That’s not a good way to look at. Thankfully you are in a safe good relationship so it doesn’t make sense to you. There are women out there that are being spiritually abused by this advice and scriptures. It’s not about never wanting to have sex but if a woman is newly postpartum, sick or on her period and having a mental health crisis she shouldn’t be told to take one for the team.
Seriously this is what some of these Christian sex books are telling women. They say when a women is on her period it is a hard time for him?? Or when she is postpartum she should be giving hand jobs..what the heck.. god expected men to have self control during those times based off of the biblical laws. They weren’t even sharing a bed with us their wives if they were bleeding
Nobody said when they are sick or in post partum. Thats just taking an extreme and acting like it make sense. Like what did you think, they were talking about sex on the death bed or something? The only debt we owe is love. "Owe man nothing but to love him." Man meaning anyone and you shouldnt love any mortal more than your spouse. And also "Do not deprive each other?"
Do you think marriage is all about what you want? I thought marriage and being a christian in general was about putting others above yourself, within reason of course, but marriage is about dying to self. The concept of duty and self sacrifice is a hard one for this generation however.
I think you have a trauma that you need to work it out.... you keep making these comments and they feel they come from personal pain. It's not them you have a problem with.
They have time and time again added in the points about compromise on both sides and having periods of grace which pertain to these particular trying times in life that you mention. They have adressed all of your criticisms in a logical manner. At this point comments like this are just hate for the sake of hate or a basic lack of comprehension when it comes to the spoken word.
Many religious women are abused by this concept. You don’t owe sex to your spouse or anyone at anytime, no excuse needed.
Paul, your mocking of consent is insulting and dangerous.
Do better.
Edit: For those curious, the mocking occurred during the Q&A section, which of course has been deleted.
When is this in the video?
@@2002holland It was in the Q&A section which has now been deleted, unfortunately so I can't tell you exactly. Sorry :/
How can you be a feminist and a christian? Stop using left wing communist pro abortion feminist speech codes. He is clearly talking about left wingers screeching about it, which really isnt about defending women but insuring control. If you are taken in by marxism made to divide people and made to dethrone God, that is your own business. Mocking a communist talking point doesn't mean he is mocking victims, because feminists dont actually care about the victims at the border or the rape gangs in europe.
And what did he say..... ?
Because I bet you are the moron. But he probably needs more clarification for dense people like you.
(My god..... you people have made me more sympathetic to Christians due to your weird cults)
@@ecottingahm17 He needs to be more specific....You know.... for dense people like you
“The Bible got the easiest moral question that humanity has ever faced wrong: slavery. What are the odds that the Bible got something as complicated as human sexuality wrong? 100%!”
-Dan Savage
Slavery in the Bible was self volunteered to exchange resources, much different than our understanding today. God actually opposes slavery in the Bible. God has a say in sexuality because he created sex and our bodies.
@@paulajames6149 “As for your male and female slaves whom you may have-you may acquire male and female slaves from the pagan nations that are around you. You may also acquire them from the sons of the foreign residents who reside among you, and from their families who are with you, whom they will have produced in your land; they also may become your possession. You may also pass them on as an inheritance to your sons after you, to receive as a possession; you can use them as permanent slaves. But in respect to your countrymen, the sons of Israel, you shall not rule with severity over one another.”
-Leviticus 25:44-46
That’s not “This person owes you money and has to work it off,” that’s SLAVE TRADING.
If you go back to Leviticus 25:39-43, it makes it very clear who you are to treat as hired servants to pay off debts then let go back to their homes on the Year of Jubilee.
If you’re a foreign slave in Leviticus 25:44-46, you’re shit out of luck.
@@paulajames6149Have you even read the bible dude?There are several passages in the Bible that could be interpreted as condoning or even promoting slavery. If you want some examples to check out:
> Exodus 21:2-6 describes the different types of slaves that could be owned in ancient Israel, as well as the laws governing their treatment. For example, it says that a slave who is beaten by his master and does not die must be brought to court, and if he survives for a day or two, the master is not punished. However, if the slave dies immediately, the master must be put to death. Which seems to suggest that it is permissible for a master to beat his slave, as long as the slave does not die immediately.
> Leviticus 25:44-46 says that it is permissible to buy slaves from the nations around Israel, and that they can be passed down to one's children as inheritance. It also says that slaves who convert to Judaism are to be treated as free people. This passage seems to suggest that it is permissible for Israelites to own slaves, including the children of slaves.
> Paul's Letter to Philemon is a personal letter from Paul to a slave owner named Philemon. In the letter, Paul asks Philemon to forgive his runaway slave, Onesimus, and to welcome him back as a brother in Christ. However, Paul does not condemn slavery itself, and he even refers to Onesimus as Philemon's "property" (Philemon 1:16).
Although of course there's no surprise that the almighty bible has contradictions (which should makes us questions its validity isn't?). Some passages, such as the ones quoted above, seem to condone or even promote slavery. However, other passages, such as the one in Deuteronomy 24:17, which says that "you shall not compel a widow or an orphan to serve as a slave," seem to suggest that slavery is not ideal. And also Leviticus 25:39 - 43 says that you should not treat a fellow Israelites as a slave even if they sell themselves to you because of poverty, and then suggest that it is wrong to treat slaves as property, and that they should be treated with compassion and respect.
But the thing is... if slavery in the bible does not sound like fun and even says that Israelities shouldn't treat themselves like that since it's condemnable in that context, why is god allowing pro slavery passages on his book when it's not about Israelites slaves?? sounds like it's kinda pro slavery is some contexts.
A lack of sexual desire is often chemical. It’s a lack of hormonal balance that it can happen after having a baby and for other reasons. It takes patience and understanding to get through, not a blanket statement that you should never deny each other. I think you might consider how that could effect a couples relationship. Honestly, where is the compassion and love? This topic involves more nuance.
Forcing yourself, your desire on someone who does not want it is not Christlike. Of course, you should consider doing it if your tired or allowing desire to build when you are spontaneously ready for it. But that is a different topic entirely. Anyway… I wish you all love.
Call me old school but I feel like the “Heathen” behavior would be forcing your spouse into sex and committing marital SA…
Paul and Morgan, you are genuine and pure hearted. I think you can share your own thoughts and experiences but I do not recommend giving instruction or advice. You may change your mind on some of these issues as you grow in your marriage. I also think it is wise to leave room for different opinions/perspectives/sensitivities. It is also important that your audience get other spiritual people in their lives for more detailed guidance. And the most important encouragement is for the audience to study the Bible on these issues and allow the Holy Spirit to work in each individual. Sex and marriage is incredibly complex and needs much care and thought.
That verse about your bodies belonging to each other is being taken out of context here. Paul was speaking to a specific situation in which people of that church were taking vows of celibacy in order to be more ‘spiritual’ and some people who were married were also deciding to be super spiritual by being celibate . Paul is writing to debunk celibacy in marriage as a path to spirituality, instead it’s a path to marital discord.
To transplant that advice to if you’re tired, stressed and depressed and it means you have a low sex drive, you still HAVE to have sex with your partner cause the bible says is IRRESPONSIBLE. If you want to apply Paul’s advice here to your marriage you could say. Celibacy isn’t a path to God or you could say that you shouldn’t make decisions about your sex life unilaterally without talking to your partner. To use these verses to say you have to have sex at least once a week regardless of what you want or your depriving your partner and not loving them selflessly is rotten garbage.
Also I’m sure it’s in the comments somewhere here already but how is it selfish for one person in a marriage to not have sex cause they’re not in the mood but it’s perfectly fine for the other partner to demand sex cause the bible says?
This is bad lazy theology and really bad relationship advice
Well said. Thank you.
Both of y'all should be more compassionate to women. It's honestly very sad to see this.
What did they say that wasn't both for men and women ?
Also if there are things going on in your marriage like porn use and adultery and lying; sex should not be expected until those issues are resolved. Sex is a reflection of your marriage.
Many of us in Christian marriages are going through this. This is an epidemic and heart breaking
So not wanting to have sex is selfish but having sex with your spouse that does not want to is not selfish?
You guys are self reporting. Why would you believe in a book that advocates for sexually assulting your spouse. Pressuring someone to have sex with you for the sake of religion is coercion. It will forever baffle me that these people think they understand the wants of a God based on a book written and translated by fallible human beings.
Look up Dead Sea scrolls. The bible is not mistranslated. And before you judge God, writing off his teachings, know you know nothing about love. You may claim to know love, but if you don't know God, you cannot know love, and I can tell by the bitterness of this comment you dont know Him. So search for Him in the Word, in John, in Ephesians, in James, then you can say you understand love.
@@vinnyv9023 there is nothing pro raping people in the bible. You are just making stuff up in the heat of the argument. You obviously know little about the bible. If you dont believe the bible, how can I use the bible to defend the bible? How can I defend spiritual things to unspiritual people? There is a reason for everything in the bible but I highly doubt your mocking can hear it
@@vinnyv9023 if the woman did not want to be a wife or was so absitinate that she would not sleep with him, I am sure a man would've not taken her/she would have to be redeemed. And if you think that there was not stubborn women back then who would nag a man to get away from him... well.... but keep in mind, again, you have a messed up feminist brain. A foreign slave wouldve spent most their life as a slave. With their home gone they, or later, their kids can now either leave and go to a foreign land that will likely mistreat them or stay with the Israelites who are commanded to treat them well. After several generations, foreigners would be completely integrated into full Israrlite citizens with guarenteed land and better legal standing. So, again, your femiminist brain is thinking about anger towards men. Back then, most women would've been glad to have the financial security, progeny(historically the most important thing to women), and legal rights provided to them by becoming an israelite early. And yes, Samuel told Saul to wipe out the Amalakites completely, as God told them to do in Deutoronomy, this likely has to do with the nephillim, which is of course why they told them to kill the animals as well.(gen 6, deutoronomy 9, deutoronomy 13:13). Meaning the people they weren't human.
You may mock this but you are not a spiritual person, so how could you understand spiritual things?
Hi hope you are doing well...
I think 19:50 - 24:00 on this video will address your concerns about the right of biblical consent .
The Bible has stood the test of time and archeological challenges who's discoveries often support the Bible
ie Sodom and Gamorah, the Jewish Exodus 3400 years ago.
Stay safe...
@Dyson Witwer who wrote the scrolls? Oh right, HUMAN beings. Everything known about religion came from humans. You are trusting that they are telling the "truth." You are putting your faith in humans, not god.
As a young, married, Christian woman, I find Paul and Morgan’s advice to be so harmful to the Christian community as well as pushing non-christian’s further from finding God with their hateful rhetoric, using the word heathens etc. Their advice on consent within marriage gives many Christians a way to pressure their spouses into sex. I know that’s not their intent but it’s the reality. I believe that the Apostle Paul was a wise man, but we need to look at 1 Corinthians 7, the verse paul and morgan used to encourage married couples to have sex even when they don’t want it, with context. It was written by Paul who admitted he didn’t fully understand marriage as he never experienced it himself. Yes, my body is my husbands and his is mine meaning we share experiences together and do not have sex with others outside of our marriage, BUT that doesn’t mean his body is mine to TAKE or pressure into having without his willing and excited consent. Feeling forced to have sex is not CONSENSUAL SEX. Please stop misleading young Christians. You are not therapists!! You have no credentials. You are not fit to give this advice other than the fact that you happen to be Christian, heavily opinionated, and married.
Hahaha!!! 🤣 "Hey, you know that expert advice that says learning one's own body in private is one way to enhance one's sex life...the purose being to traverse any awkwardness around exploration of sensitivities, abilities, kinks etc. alone - thus sparing urself & ur partner embarrassment & a night, or 5, of awkward, unsatisfying sex. In other words, practice & get good @ pleasing urself so things go smoothly with your partner & ur able to guide them knowledgeably."
"We agree with this, with one caveat. The caveat being that you should explore & go through the trial-and-error process with your spouse. Make sure your self-exploration takes place with a chaperone. Allow your spouse to fumble around doing things to you that you ultimately WON'T enjoy, & embrace the discomfort of having to continuously tell your partner they're not doing it right.
Don't take shortcuts by figuring urself out ahead of time & then letting ur partner "cheat on the test" by providing the answer key. We don't actually have a rational reason for our stance on this one, but it sounds super-Christian."
Yep, gotta touch on this owing conversation. It, as you said, does NOT equate TAKING or lack of consent. If both spouses LOVE each other, my husband won't "require" sex when I (for example) have a migraine. But I'll also give myself to him even when I've had a rough day (sex can be the best remedy anyway). It's the withholding, as you said, for weeks or more, especially to "punish." It's at least as bad to me as withholding food to a naughty child. It's NOT an excuse for affairs to happen, but it's setting the stage for bitterness, resentment, unfaithful thoughts and actions, etc.
Appreciate you weighing in, Sarah😊
The scripture used is wildly misunderstood and misused. It addresses both husband and wife. It asks both husband and wife to yield. Husband are to yield. Wives are to yield. The key here is that each are to make the decision for themselves = consent. No where does it tell the husband, your wife’s body is yours. It tells the husband your body is your wife’s. It is completely different. Therefore, if the wife does not want to have sex it is within the bounds of scripture. Now this only works in a mutually yielding marriage. If it is not a mutually yielding marriage then there needs to be a discussion because there is more than likely other issues in the marriage. This verse does not condone abuse or coersion.
poor Morgan, being tied to this loser. (she's not all that either, but kmn with Paul)
Sex isn’t mandatory, it isn’t selfless love.
Morgan is right, but I don't know if I'd use the word "owe". When you're married, the only person your partner can get sex from is you. Why make your partner suffer that way? Sex isn't supposed to be a way to punish, or used to barter. If one of you feel like you don't ever want it, go see a doctor, or go to a sex counselor with your partner as you two have suggested. Sex is a need, not a want, as far as I'm concerned. Knowing that you're the only person who can provide that and withholding it is one of the most selfish things you can do in a marriage.
Appreciate the insight, Katie❤️ Good stuff
I disagree with the first part. I do think that sex is "owed". The proof is that if a spouse withholds sex for a long period of time, that spouse is in sin, because sex is a duty/right. Paul says in 1 Corinthians 7 that "the husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband" (esv) / "the husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband." (niv). Maybe this is a semantic thing for you, but the principle is definitely biblical
@@apracity7672, I think that word puts an ugly twist on something that should be freely given. Maybe "honored" is a better word? We should honor our promises to each other and God by giving ourselves to each other freely.
@@apracity7672 in what way do you think this is a healthy way to look at it? You don’t “owe” anyone your body, ever.
@@hannahgp says you
Hey, so I came here from Genetically Modified Skeptic's reaction video to this, and just want to say that although I don't have a Biblical approach to life per se, you still seem to me like a great couple and like there's really quite a lot to agree on, I think, between modern Christians like yourselves and others. When it comes to marital relations, I think a lot of the conclusions are the same, just the route to get there is different.
Sidenote: there’s no audio for the second half of the video.
Update: I lied. I spoke too soon.😊
Haha👍
I really appreciate your ministry and what you guys are doing. This generation needs you. God bless you so much and keep you on the straight and narrow for the rest of your life.
Thank you!🙏❤️
Yea no. "This generation" doesn't need sex without consent, in fact, no generation needs sex without consent. Feeling like you "owe" your partner sex is the most toxic fucking thing possible.
Where is the proof to any of these statements. I literally left organized religion because of these kind of viewpoints. (Example: I was dating a non-Christian and when he came up within the first minute of conversation at church, it became all about him and if he was a Christian and why were we together if he wasn’t) it’s the epitome of why I left because the church is more concerned with the end results than the individual.
I have a concern about Paul because he wears a flat-brimmed hat. i’m worried he might not be aware that those hats are worn by the homosexual street crime social clubs. members of those clubs seeing another man wearing a hat like that will become aroused and potentially ask the person out on a date or to commit a crime together. I don’t wanna see Paul get mixed up with the wrong crowd. He could try wearing a dink instead, those short-billed beanies worn by college pledges in 1920s.
I love this advice!! As a woman who is married to a Godly man I totally feel all of this! Y’all are so fun to watch. 🥰
Aww so glad to hear that❤️
If someone else is there, it isn't so much "self" discovery...is it?
This is for christians, i don't understand the hate from non christians, and they probably don't go comment on muslim videos lol ...
Morgan said 'you guys just do whatever the heck you do. We’re not talking to you.' That’s a complete slap in the face to the mission gifted us by our Lord and savior Jesus Christ to spread the word. We are commissioned to announce the good news and spread the word. What Morgan said is a heretical insult to the apostles and completely contradicts Jesus is commandment to go forth, to knock on doors, to preach on the sidelines at the sports ball games, to insist, nay DEMAND that public schools display the 10 Commandments, that the really derivative and repetitive acoustic folky sappy so-called Christian rock be brought into the rotation of popular music radio stations. if Morgan is preaching that no commitment to evangelizing is required of us, that’s just an insult to all the door knocking done by Prince and a diss to hundreds of years of missionary work in Africa and South America. I hope that very soon the Holy Ghost spirit speaks to Morgan to disabuse her of false doctrine because the fate of her immoral soul is at stake.
Compromise can also be seen as a husband giving space to their wife and not shaming them or demanding sex... it goes both ways.
Marriage is a reflection of Christ and The Church/ His bride.
The church doesn't owe anything to Jesus since we were saved by grace and vice versa; Jesus didn't owe his bride salvation, yet because of his unfailing love, pursuit and PATIENCE, he won his bride. And because He loved us FIRST, we can love him.
Humans are complicated beings with real trauma and emotions.
Nothing should be done because it is "demanded", but willingly.
Without rambling.
Yes you should have sex in your marriage. It's a gift.
Sex is good.
But nothing is OWED* it's just something that SHOULD happen in a healthy functioning marriage.
An unbeliever rejecting that idea is not because they're unbelievers but have reason.
You should read about the amount of Christian women that have forced themselves to have sex in their marriage because of duty... examinations have shown that their genitals show signs of sexual abuse..
It's worth reading into it before you speak on the topic.
-from a die hard JESUS loving believer 🤍🤍🤍
I agree. It needs to be mutual. Plus I am a believer but also believe somethings have been added to the Bible. Let's use common sense & respect our spouse & not force or coerce them into something they're not feeling up to. I mean if someone really didn't want to, I wouldn't want for them to feel like they're just self- sacrificiallly loving me.... that's fake.
I understand your opinion, but it's only partially biblical. 1 Corinthians 7: 3 clearly and unequivocally says that sex is a duty/right (look at the ESV and NIV translation). Maybe this is a semantic thing for you, I don't know
My god... you people have more traumas than secular people. Apparently that's the rule and not the exception...
Disgusting religion.
The Church owes total submission and obedience to the Savior. Do we fall short of that? Sure, but that doesn't mean we don't owe it. Paul called himself the bondservant, slave in some translations, of Christ.
Well said, Christina.
"Heathens don't know selfless love"...interesting considering you go on to explain that if you are not selfless it is a sin, but avoiding sin is a selfish act and isn't actually selfless is it? I would say us "heathans" know more about selfless love than Christians precisely because when we are selfless we do it without some external pressure (sin or the fear of some invisible man) forcing our hand.
In the Old Testament, the name, Morgan is a male name. It’s meaning is “she who does not look at the camera." She has to change it to Morgana to get right with the Lord.
The world tells people they need to have sex with everything that moves and nobody panics.
Paul tells people," humble yourself and have sex," if an argument interrupts plans for intimacy, and everyone loses their minds.
😬😬
So please provide your evidence that supports your claims related to masturbation. You guys are spreading a lot of false information claiming to know the related research. You obviously do not.
that’s not how they roll. They kind of just encounter things by happenstance and then figure out a way to dismiss them.
Really liked/appreciate a lot of points you guys brought up! One thing you heavily emphasized was the fact that the husband and wife owe each other sex and that it is selfish to withhold that from your spouse, which I understand. But what about abstinence? That can be another way to sacrifice in certain situations. I would love to hear your thoughts on abstinence and under what circumstances you think it is appropriate in marriage.
The Bible verses they read answers this question. If both agree in order to fast and prayer. That’s the only way abstinence in marriage is not sinful. In regards to health issues or like for 6 weeks postpartum, I believe, unless you are fasting and praying during this time, you can still be together intimately without penetration.
Please don’t listen to their advice. You don’t owe your partner sex. Sex is a beautiful thing when both parties consent. Doing it as a chore is honestly just sad and they are gross for spewing this rhetoric. If you don’t wanna have sex, then don’t have sex. It’s really that simple.
@@makayla6712 this is such a bizarre way of thinking. I truly can’t wrap my head around it.
@@hannahgp first of all it’s not advice. It’s straight from the Bible. If it’s a bizarre way of thinking than you must not believe in the whole Bible cause that’s where this came from. Not from me. Second, no one said anything about sex being a chore. We shouldn’t abstain according to the Bible. That doesn’t equal sex being a chore. If you don’t enjoy sex with your spouse then that’s a while different issue. And yes, it’s an issue that needs to be worked out. The Bible is very clear that sex is good and pleasurable. No one should view it as a “chore”. It’s a great blessing and gift in marriage. You don’t have to understand my point of view but read the Bible, specifically Song of Solomon and see if you still believe that “sex is a chore and you don’t have to if you don’t want to “.
@@makayla6712 stop spreading this bullshit that someone has to have sex if they don’t want to just because it’s the way you interpret the Bible. No one has to give up their body if they don’t want to and they should not be shamed for it, period.
I think I agreed with all of your points, I don't want to go back to confirm.
Real talk some of the ads that are running on this video aren't great. One of them was about buying weed gummies online. I don't know if that's a concern for you, but I thought I'd share.
@@ecottingahm17 I don't look at that sort of stuff. Plus I specifically turned off targeted ads.
TMI Truth May Be Imagine!!! Cause we are not touching each other!!
There are some "christian " cultures in Mexico that aren't allowed to have a bibles. That's why they don't know much about song of solomon.
I have a concern about Paul. is he trying to take away from the holy reputation of the apostle by using the same name?
Hey, I have a question about the enemy wanting to keep your clothes on when your married. Cause I have heard this a lot but I don’t understand how that works, like are there feelings of shame or your just simply too busy. Its just not clear to me cause nobody ever explains. Im not yet married so I do understand the wanting of taking your clothes off 😅
I don’t blame her honestly. Idk who would ever willingly sleep with someone like Paul.
Some associate sex with fear/shame/sense of pressure after all the emphasis on staying pure, or have abuse trauma. There can be underlying resentment in the relationship, issues with the spouse dynamic, exhaustion, shame around specific fantasies/desires, trouble relaxing & getting out of your head, medical problems that impact sex, unrealistic standards absorbed from porn so that real sex seems unappealing... etc. You communicate & find solutions together.
This statement in my opinion is false. Sexual desires all come from God. It is not Satan. The bible says we are tempted because we are sinful. It is our sinful desire to be selfish. As far as in our marriage, somtimes everyday life is exhausting and busy. It may take a selfless act to give after you are spent.
Every video you make helps people have hope & be free! God is using you in extraordinary ways! Thank you for revealing the truth in a world FULL of deceit!
Aww praise God🙏
To me the statement that nonbelievers don't know selfless love, isn't showing the compassion Christ modeled that we try to follow. Jesus counseled that a kind Samaritan-- an outsider who Jesus' people hated, & viewed as sinners & an active opponents of their faith-- could show the love prescribed in the First Commandment at least as well as many Jews. The relationship between Jews & Samaritans at the time parallels the relationship between contemporary Christians & nonChristians. Why shouldn't we recognize the humanity & love in outsiders as much as Jesus did? (Not trying to act like everything that comes out my mouth is perfect cuz it super isn't)
I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHICH STRENGTHENS ME
PHIL 4:13
25:41 … those not elders of more than one may not be so reliant on moods (granted by Paul)1Tim3:2, Titus 1:6
I love y’all! 😂🙏🏼 I love your advice, love your channel, love your humor!!! 👌🏼🔥
Aww😊🙏
Bro what? This has to be a joke
When sex becomes a game or leverage or anything else then what God designed it to be its so dangerous. For Christians.. I’m not married or in a relationship but I’ve had my past of sexual darkness and that’s all sex is in the world. The with holding sex and stuff part is so good it’s all about being on the same team 👍🏼
🙏🙏
thank you paul and morgan for talking about this topic! it is so important, and i honestly cannot understand all the hate :)).
very helpful 🎉 keep on doing this
Thank you❤️❤️
Omg that was the longest handshake it got a little distracting and awkward lol
ahhh im a senior at berea college and i pass through lex all the time😭 if you guys ever do a meet n greet or event type thing i would definitely love to come.
This is a little random but do you think it'd be crazy to request that if your spouse has had sex with an ex partner in the past (having repented of that and striving to live a Godly life) and if it was in the bed that they currently have and you planned to move in with them after marriage, to ask for a new bed to kind of start fresh? I think i'd feel weird if I knew the bed we were sharing was previously fornicated in with another woman..
Not that you’re asking me but I think that makes sense honestly
Thank you, I appreciate you giving your perspective. If I know it's going to be in the back of my mind, I think it makes sense too. But he may have already bought a new one after the separation. I'll have to ask at some point
I'm just a rando but if it's important to you & you two can afford it, that seems like a good reset & symbol of starting fresh. Beds are an intimate (and absorbent 😬) space.
I would be interested to hear what you guys would say more in depth stuff about masturbation within marriage.
I truly don't think you guys realize that the issue is with the bible verse itself not necessarily how you describe what it means TO YOU. It literally says the decision to not have sex has to be MUTUAL. That verse itself ( I grew up in a pretty strict Baptist church and community) has been used to abuse MANY women in strict Christian homes. BOTH of you in this video describe sex in your marriage (in regards to this topic) in a healthy way that doesn't even mesh with the verse you are saying you're standing behind. That verse is extremely problematic an dangerous and doesn't give enough nuance to guide a healthy loving relationship
For some reason the video doesn't play right at all with the sound.... ??? & doesn't play all of the video.
Keep going with this content guys. It’s really encouraging. And totally agree with Morgan that they enemy wants you to take your clothes off before marriage but keep them on post marriage, ain’t that a fact 😅. Having sex before marriage with others has had huge consequences on my marriage, and still continues to do so but can see such a difference from couple counselling. It’s hard enough merging two lives that have different expectations and wounds from childhood then you add in the complexity of knowing others, hopefully from personal experience I can explain effectively why you do wait to my daughter when she’s old enough.
If you haven’t already, do you have a list of recommended sex advice material?
God bless from New Zealand!
lol 17:00 "no honey! i was doing *research*"
Love you guys and your "goofiness" 😉
Very well done on this video
Thank you!😊❤️
I love how you reject withholding sex. I have found myself withholding it because of selfish reasons like not wanting to stop what I am doing or being too lazy. But then when I lay down my selfishness and have that time with my husband I enjoy it and brings strength to our marriage. So many people do not understand the concept you are communicating and that is okay. But there are many of us who are so thankful you speak the truth you do. Not everyone liked the truth Jesus spoke during his ministry but it was necessary for growth.
🙏❤️
PLEASE DON’T LISTEN TO THESE PEOPLE.
Very convicting. This is as a married person
🙏
Hey brother Paul and sister Morgan. Praise the Lord for doing what you do. We smash and reject the popular twisted advice from this world as you all do. Much love from Nash!
🙏😊
Hey guys love the topic, just so you know the sound and the picture don't go together the sound is way ahead of the video.
thats your own phone, its perfectly fine for me!
@@rachelhmstn that's what I thought till I tried with several other devices and it was still the same
All good things! Can we also recognize if one spouse’s libido is way off, then maybe they should go get their hormone’s checked? Absolutely, even in that time a spouse can be selfless. However, hormones have so so much to do with sex drive and so much more too. But definitely worth getting checked.
Thanks for sharing :)
7:03 recently quit watching it
Guten Morgan
You guys are so encouraging!
❤️❤️
Love you both so much!!🥰
Aww❤️
Thank you for this important service
😊🙏
thank you so much ✨
❤️❤️
Good stuff by a good couple. Life is not easy. Sex is a gift. It's a terrible thing to waste or not give in the proper relationship.
Can’t be surprised that lost people put cultural ethics above a biblical sex ethic. Great video guys!
🙏🙏
What a nice video :)🧡
Hope you're not offended Taylor, you're pretty do lose the nose piercing
I have a concern about Paul because he wears a flat-brimmed hat. i’m worried he might not be aware that those hats are worn by the homosexual street crime social clubs. members of those clubs seeing another man wearing a hat like that will become aroused and potentially ask the person out on a date or to commit a crime together. I don’t wanna see Paul get mixed up with the wrong crowd. He could try wearing a dink instead, those short-billed beanies worn by college pledges in 1920s.
I have a concern about Paul. is he trying to take away from the holy reputation of the apostle by using the same name?