The point of my original comment is that too often people focus on what someone else is doing wrong instead of focusing on what they did wrong. So they pray for their partner to change or be near perfect prince charming. By all means, pray for both - but who do you think you can control? You or your partner?
Going to church is a good thing and should be encouraged, however using the frequency of church attendance as a measure of someone's dedication to their faith is unfair and inaccurate. How about do they frequently study the bible? Pay attention to biblical content? Seek a biblical worldview? Do you see them applying biblical concepts in their every day life? Are they shedding sin? If it is a man, do you see them becoming a good potential biblical leader of a future household? I would say someone who goes to church multiple times a week, but doesn't carry Christ in their heart and doesn't seek to apply their faith in their life is the worst choice.
I agree. Some people want to live in church and attend every single meeting...I just think that sometimes, sometimes... this doesn't leave them time to develop a personal relationship with GOD, ...prayer and time alone with THE LORD and a good testimony among the non-believers are more important.
As someone who isn't Christian, my main takeaways from this are mostly: 1. Be aligned spiritually. 2. Make sure the guy is being direct and intentional with how they spend their time and value their date/partner in various social situations. (includes Social media usage/ability to stay present in the moment) 3. Align on visions for life (i.e plans for children etc.) 4. Mutual respect and effort towards making a relationship work and being on track towards commitment.
But most importantly please try to experience the Love of God and His mercy through the sacrificial Lamb in place of our sins at the cross.. For our atonements
As a Christian, I didn't get these takeaways from *this* video. I would agree with you on these things that you listed - but I found myself disagreeing with a lot of things in this video! I think your takeaways are good. To be honest I think the things you listed are universal for an intentional relationship, Christian or otherwise. (Even being aligned spiritually - because one spiritual partner with one non-spiritual makes things hard at best and impossible at worst)
You mean you will NEVER ask them about their faith?! Eventually they better be ready to talk about it. Are you just going to hustle proceed on in a relationship where they won’t talk about it and not talk about it? I’d be very weary of someone who will not talk about it. Are you a serious Christian because if you are, they had better at least know they should ideally talk about it and wish to even if it makes them uncomfortable, or do not date them. Trust me. I know .
I feel like this is so real, too many Christians be like…. If you know, you know, and they rush into marriage and I’m just like. 😑 Take it from someone who dated 2 years and is getting divorced after a 3 year marriage, never again!
Dude where do you find a girl like Sadie with her mindset! There’s so few girls who understand relationships the way she does. Thanks for raising my standards Sadie, I’m praying God sends me the right one. Sadie shows me they exist haha. God bless y’all! And I hope Sadie is doing better now with the accident.
Ya know, a lot of it is about making sure that you’re working to fulfill God’s mission with your life, and I believe that God will bless you tremendously! It likely won’t be on your timeline, but He is GOOD! We’re so thankful Sadie is doing so much better lately! God bless you brother! 😃🙏🏻
Loved everything, except for the discouragement advice for single woman in our 40’s .some of us still have the faith to conceive children . And it doesn’t mean we put career first . Only God knows why too many people por age are still single but have healthy bodies to bring family. “Against the biological window “ bc Nothing is impossible to God!
@linmeco I think that God is molding you into understanding what you need and what you really want in a relationship.God has the whole process in His hand and you don't have to worry about it. In the end He will know your deepest desires and priorities and He will provide it
Both people sharing their intentions, goals, values, morals, and dreams when in the dating process seems to be majorly overlooked in our society. It honestly blows my mind. Granted you don't have to share the same hobbies, etc but the real deep stuff is important so you're on the same page to build a strong foundation in your relationship.
I know right! I hear stories about why some people divorce and I’m always like “HOW DO YOU NOT TALK ABOUT WANTING KIDS????” or whatever they didn’t talk about before marriage.
My husband and I have been married almost 17 years, def not without ups and downs but we dated 6 years starting highschool through college and took breaks off and on due to being so young and long distance but came to know we were made for each other. I think each story is different. We both are passionately following after christ in our lives but have been lukewarm In the past. ❤
That’s an awesome story y’all have Amy!! Certainly everyone’s story is completely different, and it’s hard to make overarching statements about red flags! God can make anything work that He sees fit! God bless you and your husband! ♥️♥️🙏🏻
One of the things I had with my last girlfriend was that she idolized me more than anything. Despite being a Christian, and a daughter of the pastor of her church, she put me in front of everything, even God, which I saw as a big no-no. I’ve been single for 5 months, and even though I’m 18 with plenty of time, I sometimes have doubts about having someone in my life. I’m glad I found your channel recently, it’s taught me to not lose hope for having someone, but at the same time, remember God is in control. I ask that you pray for my faith, that it stays strong and grows, as well as me finding the right person someday. Thank you.
She's young and unfortunately most women REALLY struggle with this. It took me years to stop this behavior. If you love her..talk to her about it! Even if you don't reconcile, you will help her a great deal.
So when is hard you say no no instead of being there and help her to find God again , that sad more about you why are you alone...There is something to think about...God bless you...
It really depends if she's open to shifting her focus from you to the Lord. We cannot idolize people. You should help someone only if they WANT it. This man is not selfish, he's wise.
You left her because she liked you too much?! How about having a conversation? Because the enthusiasm of the beggining fades. So now the girls heart is broken...this sounds wrong. This isnt about God at all. You wanted to dump her. You probably are selfish or have trauma and cant accept affection. Avoidant attachment style. Google it.
It's interesting because people think marriage alone will help them deal with sexual immorality. However, if you don't practice avoiding it before marriage, you are in huge trouble when you get married or date.
I agree with most of the points apart from the friends with the opposite sex. If there is no temptation, no affection nothing, I don't see the issue. If there are feelings, be open, recognise it and then address either move away or chang the situation.
Yea that one’s hard. I’m engaged and my finances bff for his entire life is female & it’s caused some insecurities for me. I M just not sure on this one 😢
I’ve known people who went to church 3x a week and still ended up walking away from the faith. Church attendance ≠ faith commitment. That’s very judgmental and ungodly to assume otherwise
There are a bunch of comments like this. Why I find that criteria completely valid is that if you are not, at minimum, involved in your church and your spiritual life outside of that, that is a big red flag. It's not saying that if you are involved in the church beyond Sunday you are 100% committed, but if you're NOT involved beyond Sunday church, THAT is the problem
Maybe they should just break up if they dated for a few years and didn't want to get married. However, you would need more than several months to get to know someone before committing your life to them.
when it comes to "take a break" 1 Corinthians 7:5 is applicable. To take time apart to pray and, possibly fast, to see how it is, and it needs to have a deadline. Like, a week or a month or something. And then, come back and re-evaluate how it was, and what we should do from here. And if anyone is confused, then it should be a sign that you shouldn't get back together. Anyway, thanks for the reinforcement.
0:41mins. Going to church is not the sign of leadership. Wrong. Leader is a character a man must build with God one one on one, study word of God, prayer, fasting, showing purity, show taking intiative among his peers, have strong understanding word of God and live accordingly and have fruits in his life. But DEFINTELY Going to church is not a lership. A LIE!!! I beleieve fellowship with christian men/women in a group absolutely reqiured. 1:37mins: Dating longer without commitment. Well, Time is not the issue. The issue must be raised if she/he is developing a husband/wife mindset. Example, if she/he is spending night out with friends for coffee or whatever, it can cause issue therefore it may prolong the commitment. 2:58mins. He/she must Dating with intention is absolute along with setting boundaries. 4:41mins. HE/SHE is not Addicted to social medias, single friends, participating with plenty of church services causing financial burden and no time managment. A balance is a required. 5:45mins He/She must be stay consistency in the relationship including hanging out with friends, families, in gatherings. Have talk. 6:57 mins He/she must have a mindset of serving others but should not normalizing UNGOLDLY acts. IF he/she accepts / normalizing ungolding acts and trying to do in the relationship, HE/SHE is not ready therefore discuss your expetation. if He/She is not acknowledging and not correcting, He/She is not yours. RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN 8:00mins He/she must be developing a character of wife and husband while dating. Most time, The one who is not developing pushing to get married sooner. Let the person know what you expect. If nothing changes,,,,,RED FLAG. RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN 9:00mins No opposit gender friends. If He/She insists to keep it, DO NOT WASTE YOUR TIME. NEVER give a day to think. right there, end the relationship with respect. But.... RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN. 10:00mins. No taking break. If He/she wants to take a break, END THERE. Not worthy to be with that person. 12:00mins. Have desire to have childrean. Addional Red flags @ NO saving from their income. If you can not save now, you can not save after marrying. @ Not seeking God's kingdom FIRST. If marriage is your priority , that will cause problem in the relationship. @ Friends with UNGODLY peoples. Accepting certain actions as normal( cuasual sex, living together, deception, manipulation) @ Love world( money, materials) and things of the world. De-associate your life from those things @ Listening to friends , families and pastors to make decisions as primary sources. He/She must listen and consulat to Holy Spirit FIRST. PRAYER AND FASTING requires. @ Unchecked / unhealed past issues @ Cries whenever disagreement . Bringing tears into conversation, emptionally charged conversation. Manipulative tactics @ Consistly lying @ Not taking accountabilities and responsibilities in their action @ Careless and being reckless @ Compromising God's word for the sake of cultures, friends, families @ Knowingly Using others @ obsessed with cosmotics accessories
Great video, thanks Sam & Sadie!! Yes I agree, don't try to change, fix, rescue, save, or heal you date. That's the work of the Holy Spirit, and we don't want to try to do his job for him. God's peace to you and your beautiful family!
Sometimes when a man waits a bit longer before he pops the question does not have to do with him being unsure about his partner or commitment issues on his part. He may need more time to build financial stability, for example. You can't just marry someone for love alone. As a man, you must provide for your family and how can you do that without money? So, until a man has stability, he may not be ready for marriage.
When you said that dating for 3 to 5 years before marriage is an issue, high immediately thought that you guys were really young. People change overtime, I have changed so drastically from the person I was when I was younger through God. I don’t understand why it would be an issue to wait to see if that is the right person, to see what they truly are like, living with them day in and day out, while also Building your relationship in Christ.
8:54 correct!!! One of the main reasons my last relationship ended because his “bf”, although she was married, kept getting in the way. She was so bad even my friends would ask what her problem was.
Opposite gender friends doesn’t mean there’s sex involved. I’ve had male friends for 15 adult years who have never tried anything. They’ve seen me go through break ups and and emotionally vulnerable situations had their opportunity to pounce and have never crossed the line. It’s different for everyone but I’m not giving them up
I'm a Christian male and have been saved for most of my life. I once dated this girl that was super hyper Christian. She basically witnessed to me on our first date and questioned me on scripture. I really expected her to do an altar call. I kept telling her I was saved and baptized all evening but she looked at me like I was lying to her. At the end of the date she told me she wanted to see where things went so I agreed. We gave each other a kiss and went our separate ways. About 1 AM my phone goes off and she had texted me. She wanted me to know she was praying for me. The next evening we got together and she started all over again and I had to stop her. I told her it was becoming kind of creepy. She didn't kind of stop talking about religion. I wanted to learn about her as a person but she wouldn't tell me anything other than she was divorced and had a kid. When I asked about her kid she didn't say anything. After almost a month if dating she called me crying and told me she had to tell me the truth. She told me she had deleted several baby's through the years before having her daughter. When I didn't respond how she thought I should then she accused me of being in league with the devil. My reaction was "Oh, that must have been traumatic for you." She proceeded to yell at me and quote scripture about how I was a sinner and I would find myself in Hell if I didn't repent. After she calmed down I asked her what sin did I commit while we have dated. She got quiet and said "You're a man so you unconsciously sin every second!" She told me I didn't have a right to judge her and she didn't want to see or talk to me again. I told her I felt bad for ber to be filled with so much guilt that she saw evil around every corner. I told her I agreed with her decision and hung up. She did call me a couple days later because she wanted to see me. I agreed but I kept it short. We texted each other a couple times after that but I was relieved to not talk to her anymore.
I love this video! It is encouraging to know that there are men of God who so clearly are seeking the LORD, that it won't leave me wondering whether he can be my spiritual leader...it will be EVIDENT! And the "servant's mindset!" Wow, it is so simply put, but it is the foundation of a Christ centered relationship
Multiple people I know/seen have had their best friend and girlfriend/wife cheat together, so even being friends with your spouse’s friends may likely be dangerous, especially the fact that that friend can exploit your relationship problems, and become sympathetic ear.
This is extremely common. About 62% of marriages will experience an infidelity and those who fall into one report NEVER planning to do it or thinking they are the kind of person that would do such a thing. This is why boundaries more restrictive than you "FEEL" is necessary are very important to have
What's the purpose of marriage? Most will give a biblical answer that seems intellectually correct in spiritual terminology. The reality is that two people choose to get married because of the way they feel together and they have felt that way long enough that it seems like they will feel that way the entire marriage. Reality sets in and the feelings leaves which was all the subconscious fuel to be and behave lovingly and supportingly and then the timer starts toward the end
To the man with a hammer every problem looks a bit like a nail. Christians are no different. The Bible doesn't talk much about women being innately attracted to certain attributes such as a man who is tall, wealthy, a masculin leader, competent, looked up to by others, and a few other un-spiritual attributes. If you remove those attributes at anytime during the marriage then the unconscious attraction and subsequent good behavior will be gone also. Christian divorce is just as high as secular except far higher numbers of Christians become permanently physically separated, not divorced legally but emotionally, and this is an extremely negative reflection on Christianity as a whole.
I would love to hear how you manage the life as a couple living together, and having time and space for your individual needs? (Like space, rest, or any other activities that may not be ‘a coupe thing’, plus sharing tasks at home... ). Thank you, loving your content, and I am not Christian, but I resonate with the purity and genuine share that you are offering , thank you
Hi Ingrid! We’re so glad to hear that you enjoyed the video, and we’ll definitely want to make a video about that subject some time in the future! We would also like to know what’s keeping you from becoming a Christian?
@@samandsadie Hi Sam and Sadie, lovely to receive your reply. I will be learning here with you. I was born in a very catholic family... however I have never identified myself with a particular religion (that´s what I mean not being Christian). I honor Christ and the sacred teachings. In my heart I naturally feeld draw to what is good, so not sure what it would look like to become a Christian. Maybe i already am?! somehow ;). thank you for asking. Many many blessings to you two.
@@ingridfaro7442 Hi Ingrid:) I wanted to share how you can become a Christian. It is in our nature to try find our own goodness, but we must recognize that we are sinners. You can ask yourself: have I ever lied, stolen, disobeyed parents, used the name of the Lord in vain? (Romans 3:23 All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God) this is why we need a Savior! Repent-turn away from- your sins, and trust in Jesus’ work on the cross, not your own good works. A mistake I did in my life is I was trying to repay God for salvation with my good deeds. When I understood that His salvation is a gift, I serve Him because I love Him and I’m so thankful! 🤍 I hope this helps, Ingrid! I am praying for you 🙏🏼
@@momentsofselah9653 Hii, thank you so much for kindly sharing. I feel closer to my goodness when I recognise myself as a leaner, a being that is evolving with nature... more than as a sinner. I also feel sad to focus on Jesus on the cross, instead of his rapidly ressurection and freedom from the chains of worldly ignorance. It is always great to connect in love and prayer, thank you so much for saying you are praying for me. Ohw a blessing, thank you , many blessings to you
My parents never took a break but my mom went on a family trip and during that they realized they never want to go on a trip with out eachother again. So that really showed them how much they want to be together.
I appreciated a lot of both of your points! Found myself going AAAA at some that just hit so hard lol🤣 only thing is with the last point, something important that comes to mind is proverbs 31- the woman is very enterprising! Cares for her family and loved ones but also has her hands open and ready to extend to the needy, she works hard out in the world too. She’s active and productive in and out of the home. I think femininity can vary and look different! Blessings to you two! 💞
You have a beautiful wife inside and out! You have been blessed beyond reason my friend. You need to always treat her like the jewel she is. May God bless you both.
Was with you 2 until the last point. As someone who wants children, not wanting kids is not a red flag. Definitely not comparable to the entire list. Not everyone wants children and that's fine. That's called a deal breaker, not a red flag.
Thank you Sam and Sadie! This was such an enlightment to me about dating and liking someone. I've watched every single one of your videos and learned a lot from them. Ps: I watched the bloopers over and over again 😆❤️
Hi Khristine! We’re so glad to hear that you like our content and that The Lord is using us for His glory! Also, we love making and watching the bloopers over and over again too 😂 It’s one of our favorite parts of video making!
Everyone experiences bumps in the road. I don’t think everything is a write off unless change happens long term. As someone who has struggled with a topic of this you just have to do your own personal work. No one is made perfect but we can do the work
ive been single for 8 months after an 8 year relationship. and im finding it impossible to find christian woman that dont just say theyre christian. i keep getting the, "im a christian but i dont go to church or own a bible or believe premarital sex or homosexuality is a sin and i believe God is a woman"......."Ma'am, thats not a Christian" haha those are the kinds of people i keep meeting and its frustrating and starting to feel like there just arent many of us left out here. if theres any women in MD that would want to go to church with me, let me know!
Woah am a christian. Believes in God, saved and trying to better my relationship with god every day that passes. I was in a relationship that ended terribly out of no where after four year. Here trying to figure out life newly. We can heal our wounds and be better together
I saw my father walk away from us, and saw my mother’s struggle to raise four children on her own. I won’t have to suffer like that, because I have a career. I depend on my holy Father for my finances.
The whole he only goes to church on Sundays is… like.. what else is he supposed to do? Like, do you mean that’s the only thing he does, doesn’t pray or read the Bible ever or anything. Or do you want him to go to church for most of the week?
The passion in a relationship has to be equal both ways. If you have to work to keep the other person's attention then the relationship is lopsided and it will not change and it won't work.
These last couple days God has been leading me to videos like this and it has been like God is showing me my Fathers and Mothers and Sisters and Brothers in Christ. I'm extremely grateful for this video. And I now know that Jesus is the Wonderful Counselor because his children have given me great words of wisdom. God pays attention to us no matter our age - no one is too young and no one is too old to experience the Love of God. Thank you Jesus Christ.
You can have children in your late thirties. That actress had a medical issue. I had my youngest at 37. I know women who had babies in their forties. Yes, it is better to have children earlier in marriage, but it’s wrong to suggest that you can’t have children if you wait until you are in your thirties.
This one's a tough one. I've been single for 2 years and have been treading lightly on dating. I desire to be a husband, and yet I almost want nothing to do with dating, even in the church. My family has been trying so hard to get me to go back out there and find a wife, but I don't want to become there are still snakes in the church. When I brought up my reasons, my dad called me a, "misogynist," which kinda hurt. I'm glad women like Sadie exist. It's very refreshing knowing that there are still women of God who understand what their role is when it comes to marriage. Most women, (even in the church) don't, and that's why I've stayed away. In short, I've gone my own way and don't know what to do
You guys make some great points however not everyone is justified. Some are very opinion based. You can have friends but know boundaries. Once you marry and are part of a union your relationships with friends will be different. If u just hang around married couples you isolate your single friends who may feel left out if they haven’t found a spouse. Don’t forget you were single once too don’t throw them away like old toys. Also it’s people business if they don’t want to have kids. That’s not a red flag. Not everybody wants to raise children in these world conditions. People also have mental health issues etc they may not want to pass on to children. U can’t think with tunnel vision on this stuff. Just a couple things I wanted to share.
As a single person, I 100% agree with not throwing us away. We get it-you have relational priorities-but you still need friends in a variety of seasons to keep a healthy balance. Your spouse won’t always be there to help you through everything (spouses are human-they can’t meet every need)-it’s good to have friends that will have your back through thick and thin.
I don’t think going to church regularly is the most telling sign of a person who is dedicated to God. The Pharisees were the most dedicated to the kingdom, look how Jesus showed them their ways were wrong. I take the approach that someone who loves God shows that by the way they carry themselves. The way they treat others. The way they have a hope for the future. The way they uplift people. Their willingness to follow scripture.
This was posted like a year ago, and I dunno if you're gonna see this. But this is a legit question related to Sadie's last red flag about "taking a break". So I was in a relationship with a girl a few years ago and during our second month she started getting very frustrated with me. The details don't really matter but the point was that it was pretty hypocritical considering how she treated me. I tried to do the right thing and put up with her bad treatment. But long story short, she got upset with me, and suddenly out of the blue told me she was going to leave our hometown to go on a mission trip for 6 months. To give you an understanding, it seemed to me like a very shallow way of trying to emotionally manipulate me. I had a bunch of questions, as anyone would, but in the end against my best judgement I said I'd support her decision. I felt pretty sick about this development but tried to keep it together. A week went by and we had a conversation that somehow led to her making the statement "if we ever did break up I'd hope we still stay friends, because it would really hurt me if we weren't". At this point I clearly stated "if we break up, I will not communicate with you anymore, it's not fair to me just as its not fair to you". I could see right through this tactic as she was trying to emotionally manipulate me and probably punish me by staying friends with me and date someone else. So the next morning I picked her up for church, and she bailed on a bunch of tasks we had that day, tasks people were depending on us to complete, basically leaving me with the responsibility of all the tasks to myself to accomplish. She started railing me about being discontent with me because I was disappointed in her throwing all the responsibility on me. At that point I basically restated her point a week earlier about the mission trip and said "maybe we need to take a break because where we are right now isn't good for either of us to develop properly in this relationship". My question is, was my intervention at that point a legitimate intervention? Or would you consider that still being unnecessary or cowardly of me? I'm asking this legitimately because I'd like to know what I could do better next time, you both seem like fair and level headed Christians. I still wouldn't change the course of what happened there because there were more red flags she had raised that I just had chosen to ignore, it's a bullet dodged as far as I'm concerned because we almost married.
...and, I would like to add. Make sure, you yourself get healthy in your soul. You are nat able to get the healthy one, if you are not healthy yourself.
For me, I'm still getting to know a girl. We been going on dates and stuff for a couple months now. Some things about her character are a little iffy so far, so really taking the time to find out if she'd be a right fit. Hopefully in the meantime she's not guessing what my intentions are and why I'm going "slow."
There is so much i can say on this but wont...other than, there is something about 20 year olds who believe to be VERY Intelligent about relationships giving advise to 30 and 40 plus year old too. Obviously they are preaching to teenagers and other 20 year olds who havent experienced much
I totally agree that Anything past 2 years is a is wasting their time. The only way I see it ok date longer is one of the people in the relationship are in college and are waiting to get married till they graduate.
One of the biggest red flags I've found with Christian women is when they ask you "What do you do for work?", when they first meet you, and within the first 5 questions. I immediately know they're of the world, and their view of you is based on money, not Christ.
I mean, at least for myself as a woman, I’m just asking that to get to know what he spends his time doing. It would be an offshoot of the question, “What do you do?” I can learn a lot about someone based on how they spend their time. I don’t quite understand how that’s worldly. 🙁
I love him so much but he kept saying... "I go slow" as years went by, i felt so abandoned emotionally and not appreciated not heard until that deep feelings I have started turning into fear that maybe he isnt into me and no longer seeing me as the "RIGHT WOMAN" anymore.
Guess I need to break up with myself, 'cause I'm DEFINITELY too much sometimes lol. This video is so beautiful, wonderful, convicting, encouraging and of a higher countinance.
This is good stuff because I had often thought that I was doing the red flags and that the reason the ladies that I were dating ended it. I now know they were commiting the red flags. It's so hard. I'm getting a permanent headache with it all. I never married before I was saved a son or a multi millionaire (no gold diggers) to sleeping and begging on the streets. Been saved now for 24 years and single in all this time to. Admittedly, I'm not too good at seeing the signs that a lady likes me (until she moves on), but Christians do say that I am the model Christian. I've been to bible college. I was on Christian radio and had my testimony written in a newspaper. And still single.
On the reverse, as a woman I felt really insulted when a man on a dating app asked what my intentions were after we just said Hi, How are you? We didn’t even have a conversation and you’re already bringing up your past insecurities? I’m not a party girl either, which is quite obvious on my profile, so there was nothing on my end that prompted his question. Whereas, if I had asked him what his intentions were (after having an actual conversation and if I needed to ask that of him), then that would have been appropriate.
"The other person is never going to be perfect, so don't try to change the other person" such a true saying, but if the person is not perfect in dating or character than "Bye...." Sorry guys that sounds to me as a contradiction. By the way the red flags are good points to discuss, and definitely good warning pointers but give couples a bit more space to work through things. In marriage you're also not going to be the perfect couple, so it's good to wrestle through things as well while you're dating.
Red Flags: 1) Not committed to faith 2) “Forever Dating” 3) Go with the flow/unintentional 4)Obsessed with social media 5)Treats you differently around his friends 6) Doesn’t treat others with a servant mindset/selfish 7) Pushes physical boundaries 8) Guy/Girl best friend 9) Taking a break 10) No desire to have children
There’s what is correct, and what women respond to. Be as innocent as doves, and wise as serpents. Focus on yourself kings, the right woman for you will your value.
What are your thoughts on single moms and how to pursue dating? (after developing proper boundaries, strengthening relationship with God, joining a church, etc) I know there has to be more mama's (or even single dads) that are at a loss on how to navigate living out their faith, being a present and providing parent, and pursuing dating when the time is right. I do believe there is a stereotype that single moms are "unwanted" or looked down upon. Having this mindset is almost painful when you feel it's no use against society's standards. I appreciate your content! It's been super helpful from what I've watched so far.
Hi Karina! That’s a really good question! The biggest thing that we would tell you as advice would be don’t settle. Be sure that any man that you consider dating would be someone that you would want your daughter to date. If you have a son, ask yourself if that man is someone that you’d like your son to end up being just like. You are valuable Karina, and no matter the perception of society, you are God’s daughter! God bless you and thanks for the question! 😃🙏🏻
They gave you delusional advice no strong man will ever raise another man's child i'm just being real,, you need to lower your standards to the lowest point and maybe you'll find someone..@@karinamartin7544
It's great you two have found each other on a loving Christian home! But you are far from old enough or experienced to be giving advice on this topic. Your feelings and emotions will lead you down dark paths, and these you will not share here and you have yet to hit hardships that break you. How much video watched nil, but once you have been broken and got back up then you are on the road.
Having a conversation about Jesus to my girl was a rough thing to even think about. I remember asking her if she believes in Christ and she started to get angry and ignorant about that conversation. I never forced it on her, but I want to just pick her brain on why she felt angry towards him. She’s a very intellectual girl but also very stubborn. It hurt because I knew that was an instant sign that God was letting me know that she isn’t the one... Unfortunately, I chose my flesh (even though she was a good girl) and had to learn the difficulties of it. We both honestly suffered from the spirit of rejection but one thing I can say is intentions doesn’t determine your direction and Salvation is individual. All I can do is pray for her and ask god to encounter her with the holy spirt to soften her heart and seek the lord and his kingdom.
For me, because I'm young, 19, if I did meet anyone soon I would wait a few year to marry, like 5. Not because I don't want to commit, but because I'm not ready for marriage, because with that comes a house etc etc. So I guess in short if your not ready for marriage, don't date, and I suppose that's where I'm at aha. sorry for the spiel
I don’t necessarily think that’s 100% true, you may not be ready to marry right at this moment but that doesn’t mean you can’t date especially because God teaches us valuable lessons through some of the people we date and it works towards the plans he has and the person he has destined for you to marry :)
Thank you for these videos both of you! I just came across them on UA-cam and am amazed at how good your arguments are. It really helps me as a young man to maintain my standards and refocus on the things that really matter ..which can be a very big challenge in a performance oriented society. Thank you guys and God bless you! Greetings from germany ;)
I've been in this situation several times: I start dating a woman, and after a week or two I tell her that I think she can do better than me and I can't see why any woman would want to be with a loser like me. I go without dating for a few years, then that cycle repeats. I'm now 51, virgin, never married. I'm obviously too old to get married now, so I plan on being single my entire life.
Hello Brother, Peace be with you. DO you want to get married and have kids? Those are God's Will and Purpose as well. However God has put principle. 1 Matt 6:33. Use this verse as your principle. When you spend time where you suppose to be, then God will prade your suitable help 2. You have a choice to believe others or believe God. Gala 1:15.... Deuteronomy 14:2 ....1 John 4:4-5.... Jerm 1:5 3. Brother, You have a powerful tool to use b/c most Christians can not stay as virgin. SO devil has foothold in most christian life and always bring temptation to them through reminding of their past good time or guilt. God is helping you to do mighty things if you believe and no doubt in your heart 4. God brought Eve to Adam b/c Adam was working in God's kingdom. 5. Seek God more. Study God's word more. Invite Holy Spirit to work in you
I wouldn’t see you too old to get married. I am 50 even though I look 35 and no kids but I see it to be all up to me and God if I go into marriage. I first must be willing to open up my life to evolve into something totally different to invite another older person in their life into mines.- that is the most major thing for me to accept and peoples ways 😅. Marriage is about purpose between me and the other person. If I don’t see the purpose outside of just romance, it probably won’t be worth all the headache 😊. I can always do a date and keep it pushing because I already have my happiness and contentment.
Loser is in the eyes of the beholder just as beauty is. Work on your mindset, improve your strengths, find what you’re passionate about and do more of that. Most importantly, love yourself as God loves you. How can you love someone else if you can’t love yourself.
For me about kids Being in Med school It will be mentally draining to start having kids After Med school will be fine It’s not about careeer, it’s hard to do that for now
I don’t think it’s the issue of “not having kids right when your married” which I think is a dumb point tbh that was brought up in the video… that’s a huge decision that’s different for everyone in their lifestyles, but I think it’s more of an issue if one or both of the ppl in the relationship don’t want kids period. That I can understand, but there’s nothing in the Bible saying you have to have kids right away when your married.. especially if your young or in a career like you are and are simply not ready to have kids yet. I think that “red flag” in this video was more biased towards their beliefs and their lifestyle.
heart for Christ is most critical for me and desire to follow Him.... how much they go beyond Sun is not the deal breaker.. job life and attitude matter..
If two people are immature, but meant for each other and both have commited sin to each other, one of them will call out the break phase. It will continue on, until both recognize the sin they are doing. I went through that for 7 years and I currently dont know what god has in store for me, but I know he wanted that we resolve the sin, by working on ourselves and by talking with each other and forgiving each other, which we partially did, but there is still some way to go. She broke up with me years ago and I still kept the promise that I will stay friends with her, before we were a couple for a year. I had no clue why god denied me every other relationship, but I think I know now.
Ive been through a similar thing. Now that i evolved and became a better person he doesnt want to talk to me. Hes alone and suffering and still doesnt care to listen. Were both autistic. I had no idea i was and i felt like i was nuts. Also i pushed him too much to be "responsible" and "productive" not realizing that he was struggling already with work. Autistic people are usually very anxious and not so practical. Im very similar to him but higher functioning. Sorry to rant. But yes it never worked out with anyone else. I miss him so much 😢 its been 6 years
@@etcwhatever I might be autistic too, but I do not want to put a label on myself to go back into victim mode, which I did a lot in life. I nowadays follow god and I have no clue if it is meant to be with her or not. I somehow can accept if she does not want to be with me, even if somehow its not. I currently just have faith that my wife will enter my life, and I just hope that this woman will be the right one for me. If this is the suffering that is required to have the blessing of love in life, we might both need to go on, or just have patience and accept. Only god knows whats best for us, if we have faith in him.
I've found that some women can hide their "psycho" for years before they lock you down. Then you're married and have made that vow. I've never been happier to find out I've was cheated on.
So in a marriage, the minister usually asks who gives this woman to be married to this man. I know it's tradition, but what about a Biblical red flag being that her dad feels uneasy or doesn't feel peace about it? Or perhaps the mother about the guy. Or both parents are unsettled in their spirit about it?
Please listen to your parents if they have uneasy feelings about your partner. I was so wrong for not listening to my parents. They only wanted the best for me.
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Don't pray for the right one. Pray to BE the right one
Pray for both, don't be stupid.
run from anyone who tells you how not to pray
Pray for both.
The point of my original comment is that too often people focus on what someone else is doing wrong instead of focusing on what they did wrong. So they pray for their partner to change or be near perfect prince charming. By all means, pray for both - but who do you think you can control? You or your partner?
Pray for both.
"Be a man with a plan"
Excellent message all together.
Thank you you two!
Going to church is a good thing and should be encouraged, however using the frequency of church attendance as a measure of someone's dedication to their faith is unfair and inaccurate. How about do they frequently study the bible? Pay attention to biblical content? Seek a biblical worldview? Do you see them applying biblical concepts in their every day life? Are they shedding sin? If it is a man, do you see them becoming a good potential biblical leader of a future household? I would say someone who goes to church multiple times a week, but doesn't carry Christ in their heart and doesn't seek to apply their faith in their life is the worst choice.
Spot on
I agree. Some people want to live in church and attend every single meeting...I just think that sometimes, sometimes... this doesn't leave them time to develop a personal relationship with GOD, ...prayer and time alone with THE LORD and a good testimony among the non-believers are more important.
Also unfortunately many churches are of the world now😢
I completely agree. There are some people who are in church all the time and their heart is far from God.
Agreed, they come off extremely judgmental
As someone who isn't Christian, my main takeaways from this are mostly:
1. Be aligned spiritually. 2. Make sure the guy is being direct and intentional with how they spend their time and value their date/partner in various social situations. (includes Social media usage/ability to stay present in the moment) 3. Align on visions for life (i.e plans for children etc.) 4. Mutual respect and effort towards making a relationship work and being on track towards commitment.
Thanks for the summary
But most importantly please try to experience the Love of God and His mercy through the sacrificial Lamb in place of our sins at the cross..
For our atonements
As a Christian, I didn't get these takeaways from *this* video. I would agree with you on these things that you listed - but I found myself disagreeing with a lot of things in this video! I think your takeaways are good. To be honest I think the things you listed are universal for an intentional relationship, Christian or otherwise. (Even being aligned spiritually - because one spiritual partner with one non-spiritual makes things hard at best and impossible at worst)
Initiating the conversation about faith with someone who isn’t interested in talking about it has to be the HARDEST thing ever 😭 NEVER again!!
If it's difficult, there's your answer.
You mean you will NEVER ask them about their faith?! Eventually they better be ready to talk about it. Are you just going to hustle proceed on in a relationship where they won’t talk about it and not talk about it? I’d be very weary of someone who will not talk about it. Are you a serious Christian because if you are, they had better at least know they should ideally talk about it and wish to even if it makes them uncomfortable, or do not date them. Trust me. I know .
I made this mistake
If they don't wanna talk about it...then they aren't the one.
@@pegarnts9105 Wary, not weary.
The "forever dater" one is because so many marriages end in divorce. You need to know the person really well before deciding to get married today.
I feel like this is so real, too many Christians be like…. If you know, you know, and they rush into marriage and I’m just like. 😑 Take it from someone who dated 2 years and is getting divorced after a 3 year marriage, never again!
Dude where do you find a girl like Sadie with her mindset! There’s so few girls who understand relationships the way she does. Thanks for raising my standards Sadie, I’m praying God sends me the right one. Sadie shows me they exist haha. God bless y’all! And I hope Sadie is doing better now with the accident.
Ya know, a lot of it is about making sure that you’re working to fulfill God’s mission with your life, and I believe that God will bless you tremendously! It likely won’t be on your timeline, but He is GOOD! We’re so thankful Sadie is doing so much better lately! God bless you brother! 😃🙏🏻
Right hurrrr
Females are trash nowadays but i'm sure there's real godly women out there but they're extremely rare.
CDFF dude 💕
I'm a girl with these views :)
Loved everything, except for the discouragement advice for single woman in our 40’s .some of us still have the faith to conceive children . And it doesn’t mean we put career first . Only God knows why too many people por age are still single but have healthy bodies to bring family. “Against the biological window “ bc Nothing is impossible to God!
@linmeco I think that God is molding you into understanding what you need and what you really want in a relationship.God has the whole process in His hand and you don't have to worry about it. In the end He will know your deepest desires and priorities and He will provide it
Both people sharing their intentions, goals, values, morals, and dreams when in the dating process seems to be majorly overlooked in our society. It honestly blows my mind. Granted you don't have to share the same hobbies, etc but the real deep stuff is important so you're on the same page to build a strong foundation in your relationship.
True
I know right! I hear stories about why some people divorce and I’m always like “HOW DO YOU NOT TALK ABOUT WANTING KIDS????” or whatever they didn’t talk about before marriage.
"The mystery is not cute."😂😂😂 Amen! PREACH!!! Love you guys!
Thank y’all for making these kind of videos. We need more Christians not afraid to share their values.
Keep it simple. Do not be unequally yoked. Even then, sin can destroy the best marriage.
My husband and I have been married almost 17 years, def not without ups and downs but we dated 6 years starting highschool through college and took breaks off and on due to being so young and long distance but came to know we were made for each other. I think each story is different. We both are passionately following after christ in our lives but have been lukewarm In the past. ❤
That’s an awesome story y’all have Amy!! Certainly everyone’s story is completely different, and it’s hard to make overarching statements about red flags! God can make anything work that He sees fit! God bless you and your husband! ♥️♥️🙏🏻
@@samandsadie Excuse me, what do you believe and teach in your channel on how to be saved and go to heaven for eternity?
Sadie's second point >>> I just recently got myself into such a situation. Thanks for the clarity, I'm running for the hills.
One of the things I had with my last girlfriend was that she idolized me more than anything. Despite being a Christian, and a daughter of the pastor of her church, she put me in front of everything, even God, which I saw as a big no-no. I’ve been single for 5 months, and even though I’m 18 with plenty of time, I sometimes have doubts about having someone in my life. I’m glad I found your channel recently, it’s taught me to not lose hope for having someone, but at the same time, remember God is in control. I ask that you pray for my faith, that it stays strong and grows, as well as me finding the right person someday. Thank you.
She's young and unfortunately most women REALLY struggle with this. It took me years to stop this behavior. If you love her..talk to her about it! Even if you don't reconcile, you will help her a great deal.
So when is hard you say no no instead of being there and help her to find God again , that sad more about you why are you alone...There is something to think about...God bless you...
It really depends if she's open to shifting her focus from you to the Lord. We cannot idolize people. You should help someone only if they WANT it. This man is not selfish, he's wise.
I'm certain you'll find someone soon. Keep hope alive.
You left her because she liked you too much?! How about having a conversation? Because the enthusiasm of the beggining fades. So now the girls heart is broken...this sounds wrong. This isnt about God at all. You wanted to dump her. You probably are selfish or have trauma and cant accept affection. Avoidant attachment style. Google it.
Wow I loved the 2nd red flag. In Christian language, 'go with the flow' sounds like 'we will see what happens'.
You two just opened up my eyes to red flags that I was actually seeing but didn’t want to see! Thank you
It's interesting because people think marriage alone will help them deal with sexual immorality. However, if you don't practice avoiding it before marriage, you are in huge trouble when you get married or date.
I agree with most of the points apart from the friends with the opposite sex. If there is no temptation, no affection nothing, I don't see the issue. If there are feelings, be open, recognise it and then address either move away or chang the situation.
Yea that one’s hard. I’m engaged and my finances bff for his entire life is female & it’s caused some insecurities for me. I M just not sure on this one 😢
I’ve known people who went to church 3x a week and still ended up walking away from the faith. Church attendance ≠ faith commitment. That’s very judgmental and ungodly to assume otherwise
There are a bunch of comments like this. Why I find that criteria completely valid is that if you are not, at minimum, involved in your church and your spiritual life outside of that, that is a big red flag. It's not saying that if you are involved in the church beyond Sunday you are 100% committed, but if you're NOT involved beyond Sunday church, THAT is the problem
Maybe they should just break up if they dated for a few years and didn't want to get married. However, you would need more than several months to get to know someone before committing your life to them.
when it comes to "take a break" 1 Corinthians 7:5 is applicable. To take time apart to pray and, possibly fast, to see how it is, and it needs to have a deadline. Like, a week or a month or something. And then, come back and re-evaluate how it was, and what we should do from here. And if anyone is confused, then it should be a sign that you shouldn't get back together. Anyway, thanks for the reinforcement.
1 Corinthians 7:5 is only for married couples.
I Corinthians 7:5 is talking about sex. So it only applies to married couples.
0:41mins. Going to church is not the sign of leadership. Wrong. Leader is a character a man must build with God one one on one, study word of God, prayer, fasting, showing purity, show taking intiative among his peers, have strong understanding word of God and live accordingly and have fruits in his life. But DEFINTELY Going to church is not a lership. A LIE!!! I beleieve fellowship with christian men/women in a group absolutely reqiured.
1:37mins: Dating longer without commitment. Well, Time is not the issue. The issue must be raised if she/he is developing a husband/wife mindset. Example, if she/he is spending night out with friends for coffee or whatever, it can cause issue therefore it may prolong the commitment.
2:58mins. He/she must Dating with intention is absolute along with setting boundaries.
4:41mins. HE/SHE is not Addicted to social medias, single friends, participating with plenty of church services causing financial burden and no time managment. A balance is a required.
5:45mins He/She must be stay consistency in the relationship including hanging out with friends, families, in gatherings. Have talk.
6:57 mins He/she must have a mindset of serving others but should not normalizing UNGOLDLY acts. IF he/she accepts / normalizing ungolding acts and trying to do in the relationship, HE/SHE is not ready therefore discuss your expetation. if He/She is not acknowledging and not correcting, He/She is not yours. RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN
8:00mins He/she must be developing a character of wife and husband while dating. Most time, The one who is not developing pushing to get married sooner. Let the person know what you expect. If nothing changes,,,,,RED FLAG. RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN
9:00mins No opposit gender friends. If He/She insists to keep it, DO NOT WASTE YOUR TIME. NEVER give a day to think. right there, end the relationship with respect. But.... RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN.
10:00mins. No taking break. If He/she wants to take a break, END THERE. Not worthy to be with that person.
12:00mins. Have desire to have childrean.
Addional Red flags
@ NO saving from their income. If you can not save now, you can not save after marrying.
@ Not seeking God's kingdom FIRST. If marriage is your priority , that will cause problem in the relationship.
@ Friends with UNGODLY peoples. Accepting certain actions as normal( cuasual sex, living together, deception, manipulation)
@ Love world( money, materials) and things of the world. De-associate your life from those things
@ Listening to friends , families and pastors to make decisions as primary sources. He/She must listen and consulat to Holy Spirit FIRST. PRAYER AND FASTING requires.
@ Unchecked / unhealed past issues
@ Cries whenever disagreement . Bringing tears into conversation, emptionally charged conversation. Manipulative tactics
@ Consistly lying
@ Not taking accountabilities and responsibilities in their action
@ Careless and being reckless
@ Compromising God's word for the sake of cultures, friends, families
@ Knowingly Using others
@ obsessed with cosmotics accessories
Great video, thanks Sam & Sadie!! Yes I agree, don't try to change, fix, rescue, save, or heal you date. That's the work of the Holy Spirit, and we don't want to try to do his job for him. God's peace to you and your beautiful family!
You two are adorable and this is the only video I’ve seen of you but I’m smiling away😂 God bless ya both
Same here sister *😂
you two are so cute together! So glad God is continuing to bring people together for his glory!
Sometimes when a man waits a bit longer before he pops the question does not have to do with him being unsure about his partner or commitment issues on his part. He may need more time to build financial stability, for example. You can't just marry someone for love alone. As a man, you must provide for your family and how can you do that without money? So, until a man has stability, he may not be ready for marriage.
Agree 100. I have ppl in my life saying I want too much no one is perfect bla bla, but this is aligned with my thoughts. Ty
Being on your phone is something that really bothers me especially while on a date
When you said that dating for 3 to 5 years before marriage is an issue, high immediately thought that you guys were really young. People change overtime, I have changed so drastically from the person I was when I was younger through God. I don’t understand why it would be an issue to wait to see if that is the right person, to see what they truly are like, living with them day in and day out, while also Building your relationship in Christ.
Because people want intimacy with each other as well.
8:54 correct!!! One of the main reasons my last relationship ended because his “bf”, although she was married, kept getting in the way. She was so bad even my friends would ask what her problem was.
Opposite gender friends doesn’t mean there’s sex involved. I’ve had male friends for 15 adult years who have never tried anything. They’ve seen me go through break ups and and emotionally vulnerable situations had their opportunity to pounce and have never crossed the line. It’s different for everyone but I’m not giving them up
Agreed. I had one “guy friend” try it. The majority have respected my boundaries.
I'm a Christian male and have been saved for most of my life. I once dated this girl that was super hyper Christian. She basically witnessed to me on our first date and questioned me on scripture. I really expected her to do an altar call. I kept telling her I was saved and baptized all evening but she looked at me like I was lying to her. At the end of the date she told me she wanted to see where things went so I agreed. We gave each other a kiss and went our separate ways. About 1 AM my phone goes off and she had texted me. She wanted me to know she was praying for me. The next evening we got together and she started all over again and I had to stop her. I told her it was becoming kind of creepy. She didn't kind of stop talking about religion. I wanted to learn about her as a person but she wouldn't tell me anything other than she was divorced and had a kid. When I asked about her kid she didn't say anything. After almost a month if dating she called me crying and told me she had to tell me the truth. She told me she had deleted several baby's through the years before having her daughter. When I didn't respond how she thought I should then she accused me of being in league with the devil. My reaction was "Oh, that must have been traumatic for you." She proceeded to yell at me and quote scripture about how I was a sinner and I would find myself in Hell if I didn't repent. After she calmed down I asked her what sin did I commit while we have dated. She got quiet and said "You're a man so you unconsciously sin every second!" She told me I didn't have a right to judge her and she didn't want to see or talk to me again. I told her I felt bad for ber to be filled with so much guilt that she saw evil around every corner. I told her I agreed with her decision and hung up. She did call me a couple days later because she wanted to see me. I agreed but I kept it short. We texted each other a couple times after that but I was relieved to not talk to her anymore.
run away, she's toxic
Don’t walk RUN she sounds like she’s got some serious mental health issues.
I love this video! It is encouraging to know that there are men of God who so clearly are seeking the LORD, that it won't leave me wondering whether he can be my spiritual leader...it will be EVIDENT! And the "servant's mindset!" Wow, it is so simply put, but it is the foundation of a Christ centered relationship
Multiple people I know/seen have had their best friend and girlfriend/wife cheat together, so even being friends with your spouse’s friends may likely be dangerous, especially the fact that that friend can exploit your relationship problems, and become sympathetic ear.
This is extremely common. About 62% of marriages will experience an infidelity and those who fall into one report NEVER planning to do it or thinking they are the kind of person that would do such a thing. This is why boundaries more restrictive than you "FEEL" is necessary are very important to have
What's the purpose of marriage? Most will give a biblical answer that seems intellectually correct in spiritual terminology. The reality is that two people choose to get married because of the way they feel together and they have felt that way long enough that it seems like they will feel that way the entire marriage. Reality sets in and the feelings leaves which was all the subconscious fuel to be and behave lovingly and supportingly and then the timer starts toward the end
To the man with a hammer every problem looks a bit like a nail. Christians are no different. The Bible doesn't talk much about women being innately attracted to certain attributes such as a man who is tall, wealthy, a masculin leader, competent, looked up to by others, and a few other un-spiritual attributes. If you remove those attributes at anytime during the marriage then the unconscious attraction and subsequent good behavior will be gone also. Christian divorce is just as high as secular except far higher numbers of Christians become permanently physically separated, not divorced legally but emotionally, and this is an extremely negative reflection on Christianity as a whole.
I love that you even mentioned that you want to hopefully homeschool your kids! It seriously is so important!
I would love to hear how you manage the life as a couple living together, and having time and space for your individual needs? (Like space, rest, or any other activities that may not be ‘a coupe thing’, plus sharing tasks at home... ). Thank you, loving your content, and I am not Christian, but I resonate with the purity and genuine share that you are offering , thank you
Hi Ingrid! We’re so glad to hear that you enjoyed the video, and we’ll definitely want to make a video about that subject some time in the future! We would also like to know what’s keeping you from becoming a Christian?
@@samandsadie Hi Sam and Sadie, lovely to receive your reply. I will be learning here with you. I was born in a very catholic family... however I have never identified myself with a particular religion (that´s what I mean not being Christian). I honor Christ and the sacred teachings. In my heart I naturally feeld draw to what is good, so not sure what it would look like to become a Christian. Maybe i already am?! somehow ;). thank you for asking. Many many blessings to you two.
@@ingridfaro7442 Hi Ingrid:) I wanted to share how you can become a Christian. It is in our nature to try find our own goodness, but we must recognize that we are sinners. You can ask yourself: have I ever lied, stolen, disobeyed parents, used the name of the Lord in vain? (Romans 3:23 All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God) this is why we need a Savior!
Repent-turn away from- your sins, and trust in Jesus’ work on the cross, not your own good works. A mistake I did in my life is I was trying to repay God for salvation with my good deeds. When I understood that His salvation is a gift, I serve Him because I love Him and I’m so thankful! 🤍
I hope this helps, Ingrid! I am praying for you 🙏🏼
@@momentsofselah9653 Hii, thank you so much for kindly sharing. I feel closer to my goodness when I recognise myself as a leaner, a being that is evolving with nature... more than as a sinner. I also feel sad to focus on Jesus on the cross, instead of his rapidly ressurection and freedom from the chains of worldly ignorance. It is always great to connect in love and prayer, thank you so much for saying you are praying for me. Ohw a blessing, thank you , many blessings to you
My parents never took a break but my mom went on a family trip and during that they realized they never want to go on a trip with out eachother again. So that really showed them how much they want to be together.
I appreciated a lot of both of your points! Found myself going AAAA at some that just hit so hard lol🤣 only thing is with the last point, something important that comes to mind is proverbs 31- the woman is very enterprising! Cares for her family and loved ones but also has her hands open and ready to extend to the needy, she works hard out in the world too. She’s active and productive in and out of the home. I think femininity can vary and look different! Blessings to you two! 💞
You have a beautiful wife inside and out! You have been blessed beyond reason my friend. You need to always treat her like the jewel she is. May God bless you both.
Was with you 2 until the last point. As someone who wants children, not wanting kids is not a red flag. Definitely not comparable to the entire list. Not everyone wants children and that's fine.
That's called a deal breaker, not a red flag.
Thank you Sam and Sadie! This was such an enlightment to me about dating and liking someone. I've watched every single one of your videos and learned a lot from them.
Ps: I watched the bloopers over and over again 😆❤️
Hi Khristine! We’re so glad to hear that you like our content and that The Lord is using us for His glory! Also, we love making and watching the bloopers over and over again too 😂 It’s one of our favorite parts of video making!
Thank you so much Sam and Sadie! I've just found your channel and I like it so much. I'm from Brazil. God bless your marriage and family!
We’re so glad you enjoy the channel Jonatas! God bless you! Sending love from the U.S!
Everyone experiences bumps in the road. I don’t think everything is a write off unless change happens long term. As someone who has struggled with a topic of this you just have to do your own personal work. No one is made perfect but we can do the work
ive been single for 8 months after an 8 year relationship. and im finding it impossible to find christian woman that dont just say theyre christian. i keep getting the, "im a christian but i dont go to church or own a bible or believe premarital sex or homosexuality is a sin and i believe God is a woman"......."Ma'am, thats not a Christian" haha those are the kinds of people i keep meeting and its frustrating and starting to feel like there just arent many of us left out here. if theres any women in MD that would want to go to church with me, let me know!
Woah am a christian. Believes in God, saved and trying to better my relationship with god every day that passes.
I was in a relationship that ended terribly out of no where after four year.
Here trying to figure out life newly.
We can heal our wounds and be better together
I saw my father walk away from us, and saw my mother’s struggle to raise four children on her own. I won’t have to suffer like that, because I have a career. I depend on my holy Father for my finances.
The whole he only goes to church on Sundays is… like.. what else is he supposed to do? Like, do you mean that’s the only thing he does, doesn’t pray or read the Bible ever or anything. Or do you want him to go to church for most of the week?
The passion in a relationship has to be equal both ways. If you have to work to keep the other person's attention then the relationship is lopsided and it will not change and it won't work.
These last couple days God has been leading me to videos like this and it has been like God is showing me my Fathers and Mothers and Sisters and Brothers in Christ. I'm extremely grateful for this video. And I now know that Jesus is the Wonderful Counselor because his children have given me great words of wisdom. God pays attention to us no matter our age - no one is too young and no one is too old to experience the Love of God. Thank you Jesus Christ.
Praise LORD JESUS !! I know HE COMING!! 7 years almost celebrant
Prayed for you sister. Continue surrendering to the Lord and letting him mold and shape you. Amen.
You can have children in your late thirties. That actress had a medical issue. I had my youngest at 37. I know women who had babies in their forties. Yes, it is better to have children earlier in marriage, but it’s wrong to suggest that you can’t have children if you wait until you are in your thirties.
Exactly. I’d rather wait for a good godly father in my thirties than shotgun wedding a man I barely know so I can have kids “in my prime.”
I would be so grateful for more videos on God's timing in singleness. 🙏
We’ll be happy to make more of that content Amber!! 😃🙏🏻
@@samandsadie how lovely this is to read! Thank you both.. God bless you & keep you. 💓🙂
So many great insights. Very informative, and delivered with so much wisdom. Thank you!
Thanks for watching Aaron! We’ll do our best to keep these videos coming! 🙏🏻
This one's a tough one. I've been single for 2 years and have been treading lightly on dating. I desire to be a husband, and yet I almost want nothing to do with dating, even in the church. My family has been trying so hard to get me to go back out there and find a wife, but I don't want to become there are still snakes in the church. When I brought up my reasons, my dad called me a, "misogynist," which kinda hurt. I'm glad women like Sadie exist. It's very refreshing knowing that there are still women of God who understand what their role is when it comes to marriage. Most women, (even in the church) don't, and that's why I've stayed away.
In short, I've gone my own way and don't know what to do
I’ve experienced that with guys at the church too 😞 dating is rough in the church.
You guys make some great points however not everyone is justified. Some are very opinion based. You can have friends but know boundaries. Once you marry and are part of a union your relationships with friends will be different. If u just hang around married couples you isolate your single friends who may feel left out if they haven’t found a spouse. Don’t forget you were single once too don’t throw them away like old toys. Also it’s people business if they don’t want to have kids. That’s not a red flag. Not everybody wants to raise children in these world conditions. People also have mental health issues etc they may not want to pass on to children. U can’t think with tunnel vision on this stuff. Just a couple things I wanted to share.
As a single person, I 100% agree with not throwing us away. We get it-you have relational priorities-but you still need friends in a variety of seasons to keep a healthy balance. Your spouse won’t always be there to help you through everything (spouses are human-they can’t meet every need)-it’s good to have friends that will have your back through thick and thin.
I don’t think going to church regularly is the most telling sign of a person who is dedicated to God. The Pharisees were the most dedicated to the kingdom, look how Jesus showed them their ways were wrong. I take the approach that someone who loves God shows that by the way they carry themselves. The way they treat others. The way they have a hope for the future. The way they uplift people. Their willingness to follow scripture.
0:33 I ain't going to church that promotes war and demote priests that read about peace. Such nonsense in my country
This was posted like a year ago, and I dunno if you're gonna see this. But this is a legit question related to Sadie's last red flag about "taking a break".
So I was in a relationship with a girl a few years ago and during our second month she started getting very frustrated with me. The details don't really matter but the point was that it was pretty hypocritical considering how she treated me. I tried to do the right thing and put up with her bad treatment. But long story short, she got upset with me, and suddenly out of the blue told me she was going to leave our hometown to go on a mission trip for 6 months. To give you an understanding, it seemed to me like a very shallow way of trying to emotionally manipulate me. I had a bunch of questions, as anyone would, but in the end against my best judgement I said I'd support her decision. I felt pretty sick about this development but tried to keep it together. A week went by and we had a conversation that somehow led to her making the statement "if we ever did break up I'd hope we still stay friends, because it would really hurt me if we weren't". At this point I clearly stated "if we break up, I will not communicate with you anymore, it's not fair to me just as its not fair to you". I could see right through this tactic as she was trying to emotionally manipulate me and probably punish me by staying friends with me and date someone else. So the next morning I picked her up for church, and she bailed on a bunch of tasks we had that day, tasks people were depending on us to complete, basically leaving me with the responsibility of all the tasks to myself to accomplish. She started railing me about being discontent with me because I was disappointed in her throwing all the responsibility on me. At that point I basically restated her point a week earlier about the mission trip and said "maybe we need to take a break because where we are right now isn't good for either of us to develop properly in this relationship".
My question is, was my intervention at that point a legitimate intervention? Or would you consider that still being unnecessary or cowardly of me? I'm asking this legitimately because I'd like to know what I could do better next time, you both seem like fair and level headed Christians.
I still wouldn't change the course of what happened there because there were more red flags she had raised that I just had chosen to ignore, it's a bullet dodged as far as I'm concerned because we almost married.
...and, I would like to add. Make sure, you yourself get healthy in your soul. You are nat able to get the healthy one, if you are not healthy yourself.
Amen! We have to be pursuing God before we pursue a spouse!
I think, sometimes we need a counselor to heal from the past.
For me, I'm still getting to know a girl. We been going on dates and stuff for a couple months now. Some things about her character are a little iffy so far, so really taking the time to find out if she'd be a right fit. Hopefully in the meantime she's not guessing what my intentions are and why I'm going "slow."
There is so much i can say on this but wont...other than, there is something about 20 year olds who believe to be VERY Intelligent about relationships giving advise to 30 and 40 plus year old too.
Obviously they are preaching to teenagers and other 20 year olds who havent experienced much
It's a good reminder, even if you already know this stuff. It's like listening to a sermon. Chances are you've heard the message before.
I totally agree that Anything past 2 years is a is wasting their time. The only way I see it ok date longer is one of the people in the relationship are in college and are waiting to get married till they graduate.
One of the biggest red flags I've found with Christian women is when they ask you "What do you do for work?", when they first meet you, and within the first 5 questions.
I immediately know they're of the world, and their view of you is based on money, not Christ.
I mean, at least for myself as a woman, I’m just asking that to get to know what he spends his time doing. It would be an offshoot of the question, “What do you do?” I can learn a lot about someone based on how they spend their time. I don’t quite understand how that’s worldly. 🙁
I love him so much but he kept saying... "I go slow" as years went by, i felt so abandoned emotionally and not appreciated not heard until that deep feelings I have started turning into fear that maybe he isnt into me and no longer seeing me as the "RIGHT WOMAN" anymore.
This is very goood!!! I will watch more, you have such a good moral and going into important details!
Guess I need to break up with myself, 'cause I'm DEFINITELY too much sometimes lol. This video is so beautiful, wonderful, convicting, encouraging and of a higher countinance.
This is good stuff because I had often thought that I was doing the red flags and that the reason the ladies that I were dating ended it. I now know they were commiting the red flags.
It's so hard. I'm getting a permanent headache with it all. I never married before I was saved a son or a multi millionaire (no gold diggers) to sleeping and begging on the streets.
Been saved now for 24 years and single in all this time to.
Admittedly, I'm not too good at seeing the signs that a lady likes me (until she moves on), but Christians do say that I am the model Christian.
I've been to bible college. I was on Christian radio and had my testimony written in a newspaper.
And still single.
Sam spitting facts about the commitment issue stuff bruh
On the reverse, as a woman I felt really insulted when a man on a dating app asked what my intentions were after we just said Hi, How are you? We didn’t even have a conversation and you’re already bringing up your past insecurities? I’m not a party girl either, which is quite obvious on my profile, so there was nothing on my end that prompted his question. Whereas, if I had asked him what his intentions were (after having an actual conversation and if I needed to ask that of him), then that would have been appropriate.
Love this! You both hit the nail on the head every time. thank you for the good advice and keep making great content :)
We’re so glad you agree and that you like our content Amaris! Thanks so much for the encouragement! 😃 God bless you! 🙏🏻
"The other person is never going to be perfect, so don't try to change the other person" such a true saying, but if the person is not perfect in dating or character than "Bye...." Sorry guys that sounds to me as a contradiction. By the way the red flags are good points to discuss, and definitely good warning pointers but give couples a bit more space to work through things. In marriage you're also not going to be the perfect couple, so it's good to wrestle through things as well while you're dating.
Thank you for this. Helped a lot. I will be seeing her in 6 days. I pray God honors it.
Red Flags: 1) Not committed to faith 2) “Forever Dating” 3) Go with the flow/unintentional 4)Obsessed with social media 5)Treats you differently around his friends 6) Doesn’t treat others with a servant mindset/selfish 7) Pushes physical boundaries 8) Guy/Girl best friend 9) Taking a break 10) No desire to have children
There’s what is correct, and what women respond to.
Be as innocent as doves, and wise as serpents. Focus on yourself kings, the right woman for you will your value.
woow just found your channel and I love you guys. Been waiting and sometimes it feels lonely. you guys have encouraged me to keep trusting God.
We’re so glad you found it Royal! Thanks for commenting! God bless you! 🙏🏻🙏🏻
@@samandsadieI have a dream of finding a life partner who fears God. Greetings from Indonesia. Lord Jesus Christ bless us all.🙏🙏🇮🇩🇮🇩
What are your thoughts on single moms and how to pursue dating? (after developing proper boundaries, strengthening relationship with God, joining a church, etc) I know there has to be more mama's (or even single dads) that are at a loss on how to navigate living out their faith, being a present and providing parent, and pursuing dating when the time is right. I do believe there is a stereotype that single moms are "unwanted" or looked down upon. Having this mindset is almost painful when you feel it's no use against society's standards. I appreciate your content! It's been super helpful from what I've watched so far.
Hi Karina! That’s a really good question! The biggest thing that we would tell you as advice would be don’t settle. Be sure that any man that you consider dating would be someone that you would want your daughter to date. If you have a son, ask yourself if that man is someone that you’d like your son to end up being just like. You are valuable Karina, and no matter the perception of society, you are God’s daughter! God bless you and thanks for the question! 😃🙏🏻
@@samandsadie what a great answer, this is a great advice for everyone 💖💖💫💫
Thank you Sam and Sadie for the perspective shift and the encouragement not to settle. Blessings to you both 🙏
They gave you delusional advice no strong man will ever raise another man's child i'm just being real,, you need to lower your standards to the lowest point and maybe you'll find someone..@@karinamartin7544
There are rules in the bible for divorce and remarriage.
Go with the flow is the best way
Thanku for this video, please do remember me in your prayers thanku once again god bless you ❤
Absolutely Delna!! God bless you too!! 🙏🏻♥️
It's great you two have found each other on a loving Christian home!
But you are far from old enough or experienced to be giving advice on this topic.
Your feelings and emotions will lead you down dark paths, and these you will not share here and you have yet to hit hardships that break you.
How much video watched nil, but once you have been broken and got back up then you are on the road.
No dating, no red flags. Problem solved...single for life!
Having a conversation about Jesus to my girl was a rough thing to even think about. I remember asking her if she believes in Christ and she started to get angry and ignorant about that conversation. I never forced it on her, but I want to just pick her brain on why she felt angry towards him. She’s a very intellectual girl but also very stubborn. It hurt because I knew that was an instant sign that God was letting me know that she isn’t the one... Unfortunately, I chose my flesh (even though she was a good girl) and had to learn the difficulties of it. We both honestly suffered from the spirit of rejection but one thing I can say is intentions doesn’t determine your direction and Salvation is individual. All I can do is pray for her and ask god to encounter her with the holy spirt to soften her heart and seek the lord and his kingdom.
A servant’s mindset ❤
Glad i saw this. It really helps on my spiritual journey.
For me, because I'm young, 19, if I did meet anyone soon I would wait a few year to marry, like 5. Not because I don't want to commit, but because I'm not ready for marriage, because with that comes a house etc etc. So I guess in short if your not ready for marriage, don't date, and I suppose that's where I'm at aha. sorry for the spiel
I don’t necessarily think that’s 100% true, you may not be ready to marry right at this moment but that doesn’t mean you can’t date especially because God teaches us valuable lessons through some of the people we date and it works towards the plans he has and the person he has destined for you to marry :)
Can we talk about converting red flags for dating into green flags for discipleship? And the headspace we should be in for this to be successful?
That is a great topic! Maybe a person can be a great partner with some help😊❤
Thank you for these videos both of you! I just came across them on UA-cam and am amazed at how good your arguments are. It really helps me as a young man to maintain my standards and refocus on the things that really matter ..which can be a very big challenge in a performance oriented society. Thank you guys and God bless you! Greetings from germany ;)
What you consider red flags sounds more like preferences rather than absolute deal breakers. Some of your list are sound but others are a bit extreme.
Amen! Exactly! 100% on point.
I apologize. The video is helpful & spot on.
Lovely content
May God continue empowering you.
Keep them coming.
You got it Connie!! Thanks so much for commenting! God bless you! 🙏🏻
I've been in this situation several times: I start dating a woman, and after a week or two I tell her that I think she can do better than me and I can't see why any woman would want to be with a loser like me. I go without dating for a few years, then that cycle repeats. I'm now 51, virgin, never married. I'm obviously too old to get married now, so I plan on being single my entire life.
Hello Brother, Peace be with you. DO you want to get married and have kids? Those are God's Will and Purpose as well. However God has put principle.
1 Matt 6:33. Use this verse as your principle. When you spend time where you suppose to be, then God will prade your suitable help
2. You have a choice to believe others or believe God. Gala 1:15.... Deuteronomy 14:2 ....1 John 4:4-5.... Jerm 1:5
3. Brother, You have a powerful tool to use b/c most Christians can not stay as virgin. SO devil has foothold in most christian life and always bring temptation to them through reminding of their past good time or guilt. God is helping you to do mighty things if you believe and no doubt in your heart
4. God brought Eve to Adam b/c Adam was working in God's kingdom.
5. Seek God more. Study God's word more. Invite Holy Spirit to work in you
I wouldn’t see you too old to get married. I am 50 even though I look 35 and no kids but I see it to be all up to me and God if I go into marriage. I first must be willing to open up my life to evolve into something totally different to invite another older person in their life into mines.- that is the most major thing for me to accept and peoples ways 😅. Marriage is about purpose between me and the other person. If I don’t see the purpose outside of just romance, it probably won’t be worth all the headache 😊. I can always do a date and keep it pushing because I already have my happiness and contentment.
You're not too old. No one is too old in finding a spouse if they have burning desire to have one
Stop! No. Your not a loser. You can get married.
Loser is in the eyes of the beholder just as beauty is. Work on your mindset, improve your strengths, find what you’re passionate about and do more of that.
Most importantly, love yourself as God loves you. How can you love someone else if you can’t love yourself.
For me about kids
Being in Med school
It will be mentally draining to start having kids
After Med school will be fine
It’s not about careeer, it’s hard to do that for now
I don’t think it’s the issue of “not having kids right when your married” which I think is a dumb point tbh that was brought up in the video… that’s a huge decision that’s different for everyone in their lifestyles, but I think it’s more of an issue if one or both of the ppl in the relationship don’t want kids period. That I can understand, but there’s nothing in the Bible saying you have to have kids right away when your married.. especially if your young or in a career like you are and are simply not ready to have kids yet. I think that “red flag” in this video was more biased towards their beliefs and their lifestyle.
You guys are actually the cutest 🥲
heart for Christ is most critical for me and desire to follow Him.... how much they go beyond Sun is not the deal breaker.. job life and attitude matter..
If two people are immature, but meant for each other and both have commited sin to each other, one of them will call out the break phase. It will continue on, until both recognize the sin they are doing. I went through that for 7 years and I currently dont know what god has in store for me, but I know he wanted that we resolve the sin, by working on ourselves and by talking with each other and forgiving each other, which we partially did, but there is still some way to go. She broke up with me years ago and I still kept the promise that I will stay friends with her, before we were a couple for a year. I had no clue why god denied me every other relationship, but I think I know now.
Ive been through a similar thing. Now that i evolved and became a better person he doesnt want to talk to me. Hes alone and suffering and still doesnt care to listen. Were both autistic. I had no idea i was and i felt like i was nuts. Also i pushed him too much to be "responsible" and "productive" not realizing that he was struggling already with work. Autistic people are usually very anxious and not so practical. Im very similar to him but higher functioning. Sorry to rant. But yes it never worked out with anyone else. I miss him so much 😢 its been 6 years
@@etcwhatever I might be autistic too, but I do not want to put a label on myself to go back into victim mode, which I did a lot in life. I nowadays follow god and I have no clue if it is meant to be with her or not. I somehow can accept if she does not want to be with me, even if somehow its not. I currently just have faith that my wife will enter my life, and I just hope that this woman will be the right one for me. If this is the suffering that is required to have the blessing of love in life, we might both need to go on, or just have patience and accept. Only god knows whats best for us, if we have faith in him.
This is so true. Thank you
I've found that some women can hide their "psycho" for years before they lock you down. Then you're married and have made that vow. I've never been happier to find out I've was cheated on.
so if your hobby is photography its fine right? 5:00
So in a marriage, the minister usually asks who gives this woman to be married to this man. I know it's tradition, but what about a Biblical red flag being that her dad feels uneasy or doesn't feel peace about it? Or perhaps the mother about the guy. Or both parents are unsettled in their spirit about it?
Please listen to your parents if they have uneasy feelings about your partner. I was so wrong for not listening to my parents. They only wanted the best for me.
i think social media i am cutting down but dont post weekly or daily. my last post my friends bday a week ago . I'm trying be closer with God