Can I ask you a favour? It turns out that 92% of you watching aren’t subscribed yet!! 😲 If you’re enjoying our episodes, subscribing is the best way to make sure you never miss out on our next guest. Plus, you hitting subscribe really helps us to get the word out about our community! We're so grateful to have you here with us every week xxxx
My ex husband had no desire to grow...I had suggested counselling etc. I grew, developed, learned .... and then I realised how much he held me back and belittled me. How much he was gaslighting me. I thought I was going crazy... until I gained that knowledge, woke up and left. My life is peaceful and joyful and I'm never lonely. I'm free! And I can't tell you how good that feels in your 50's.
Wow! You just said everything that I’ve heard from countless women your age…and I’m making videos about them dating younger -as an option. Please check them out ❤ and I’m so happy for you
Love this. Love Paul and Davina, from a lady that ended her marriage after 30 years because I was just so lonely and unhappy, I didn't even like my husband, his morals, him as a person at all he wore me down. 5 years single now, scared to make the same mistakes but trying to do a few things outside my comfort zone. So hard, battling that and the menopause makes me even more anxious. I'm trying, thankyou for this so interesting xx
I recently married someone half my age! I had been previously married for 25 years in a very lonely marriage. 10 years passed by after the end of the marriage to complete the upbringing of the children. The marriage to this man who is half my age has been literally amaaaazing. Helping me to get back my identity, time and love for myself. As well as enjoying being loved in a way that the father of my children never did. An extremely unpredictable occurrence in my life, but I’m enjoying it and why not 🤷🏻♀️
Yes agree OP. Am 50's female & recently met a guy 11 years younger in his 40's. He is a very fit, hard working builder & he's head over heels for me. Neither of us were actively seeking a partner so it's been a pleasant surprise. He's never been married, is very kind, sociable, generous & manages his money well. We've been very transparent about age & he thinks I look younger than him as I'm always laughing & happy. I've been divorced 20 yrs, paying a mortgage & have a wonderful level headed 25yr old daughter who lives with me. I voiced my apprehensions with her but she reminds me not to overthink & that the barometer to use every week on myself is, ' Do we have fun, am I happy, are we inspiring each other?' I agree with this vid. in that as an older couple we don't have to 'stay together to start a family'...we are together because we like each other very much. It's only been less than 3 months but his body language is he wants to include me in things & appreciates my input. He's naturally a provider & didn't court me with flowers - he turned up every other night with vegetables, fruit, salmon, seafood, meat...& his friend owns a bakery so there are donuts, biscuits & sandwiches. He wants to make sure my daughter's ok too. Without telling him, he spontaneously knew food is my love language. I gift people food or new recipes I've created. I cook for him when he comes over & is impressed how well I cook. Although we don't live together we've naturally adopted traditional roles & it's been so easy - much easier than with any other guy I've ever known.
I recently saw my ex after 25 years. He is married but still doing the same job, hanging out with the same people. I’m so glad he dumped me. God works in mysterious ways!
I saw my ex after FORTY YEARS. He was my first love, and we were together 7 years. He was just...insensitive. Including the way he dumped me. Always wondered what could've been, though. He recently tried to reconcile, and he was the same old insensitive jerk. But now I'm so much wiser, and didn't rationalize his behavior. The old feelings were completely squashed by it. Same thing: he stayed in the same regressive town, still doing the same things. I would have been so worn down by him!!!
This is so good. I nearly didn't watch this because of the title but I'm so glad I did. A single woman working out the realm of dating. Don't know if it's worth re-thinking the title of this 'relationships' feel like lots of singles need to listen to this wisdom..thank you! 😊
Hi there. Im a Career Escort based in UK. I can definitely say ladies if you're not having sex with your husbands.... they will absolutely find their way to an Escort IF they don't have an affair. Sex IS a need and IT IS part of a happy, healthy, trusting relationship. Men feel loved through physical intimacy. Women feel loved through emotional intimacy. Men, if you choose to marry a woman and you think you'll be ok with no sex - you're very wrong. Ladies if your husbands are saying they're ok with no sex - be aware.
I don't disagree with the point that sex is a need. I do take issue with you putting that solely on women. Many men, for many reasons, withhold affection and intimacy from their wives as well.
@melissariccardi7499 It wasn't meant to come across like it's solely women. However overall, I do believe it is mainly women that withhold sex. I absolutely agree some men withhold it too and it may cause the woman to cheat. But it's not as often.
@ I see what you’re saying…but something else to consider is women want a man who is a good lover and well equipped 😜 Not just married women either. I’d love to hear what percentage of the men you meet you’d describe as skilled 🤔
My Ex husband withheld sex from me to be mean for 15 years in the 25 year marriage. I never cheated but he stopped loving me other ways too. He was a decent man but started silently hating me..had a lady on side. We got divorce due to his changes and it saved my life!
I also could have written this wow 😂 also used sex as a way to hurt me...yes it's a beautiful life on the other side. People really dont believe it when I say he was withholding intimacy because hes a man lol
@@rosamoreno4794 it's a lived experience, not easy to explain, there was an aspect of emotional abuse in my case, a long with inconsistency actions and words, made things confusing. Also saw how my parents marriage and some part of me thought this is normal I suppose. People dont speak very freely on their relationships and as I also had very little dating and relationship experience along with everyone telling me all the time what a nice guy he was and how lucky i was i guess it got comfortable and normal.
@@rosamoreno4794 honestly it's a lived experience, one i dont think OP and i can explain and In my case emotional abuse from my ex along with some dysfunctional childhood issues made me ripe for the picking, I was damaged emotionally. It was only when I started therapy that I got the courage to leave. At that point I also became aware of what is going on, sometimes you dont know what you dont know and for some of us we think our marriages are "normal" so we dont question things
I didn’t know you had a channel Davina, so missed your face on the screen now I’m in LA. I am subscribed and wish you every success with this channel. Really loved this video with Paul.
Davina so glad to find you on here! I loved loved loved your conversation! 😍The energy was so smooth and effortless between the two of you. Paul is just so knowledgeable...thank you!
Sounds like Relationship only stands on sex. So bad, no one said relationship should be on honesty, loyalty and kindness not just a sex, sometimes one kiss can be more than great sex
Yes. I don't agree that a marriage without it is a "friendship". There is a level of intimacy that is beyond friendship. People (generally) don't live with their friends, kiss/cuddle them, sleep next to them, take them to family events etc. It's quite diminishing of people that have low or no drive. If two people are married and neither wants s^x, that is still a marriage (asexual people exist!).
The great thing is you are describing people who still have physical intimacy, even if not full blown sex. It's much sadder when there's no physical contact at all. Then it's much more difficult to see what the marriage is. @@egl3369
Age-gap relationships have forever been an old-age Anna Karenina story filled with emotional and physical cheating. Every woman wants an Alexei Karenina until they realize too late that similar interests, similar life experiences, and similar energy matter. Then men want Anna Karenina who is beautiful, young, and youthful but his energy isn't similar, he can't relate to her life experiences, and they have different interests. Thus, people realize too late they chased and picked the wrong things like beauty, youth, social status, and money. They caused their own divorces and misfortunes.
Brilliant Podcast!! THANK YOU SO MUCH TO YOU BOTH. You have just given me new ideas to explore and inspiration when I was feeling down. I am a forever single forty four year old female with no kids and just can't find a partner!! But inspired by my own mother who has got married for the third time (aged 70) and found love again ❤
I’m closer than ever to my husband. He’s also closer to me.We don’t have sex often yet we’re very intimately connected. Health issues - post menopause - etc. We had great sex for the first couple of decades ( 2nd marriage for both of us) and that was lovely. It feels like our bond has only grown stronger over the years. He admits this and acts like it. He is an amazing husband. This is not a friendship - we feel more connected to each other than anyone else. No one could replace him . There’s the way life SHOULD be and the way life is. Be realistic. Our vows were taken seriously. In sickness and in health. I look nothing like I used to so I’m not about to go buy sexy lingerie and feel great about what’s now gone even though I take care of myself / don’t have any issues with weight and I make sure I’m a good wife. ( I do this by NOT just thinking of myself - and asking him what I can do for him. Also Bc of the economy my husband’s had to take on a full time job while running another business. We’re both exhausted yet oh so grateful that we have each other. Please don’t make people feel like something is missing bc they don’t have some amazing sex life.
I was with my ex for 16 years... 10 great years... 6 not great years for our children. We learnt that it wasn't healthy or fair on us or our children. 10 years apart now, and at first, it was raw, but we co-parent amazingly and definitely made the right decision. We're happy again❤ Loved this x
Been married and divorced 4 times I am 60 now and spent last 6 years plus working on myself I had alot of abandonment issues and little girl missing a dad issues looking for love in all the wrong people for me just desperate to be loved but i was also people pleasing self sacrificing me because i didnt love me really .... i survived domestic violence i have learnt to be accountable responsible forgiving others and self healing myself and my relationships with family now I feel whole and single ... had to retire medically from nursing last year with long covid asthma fybromyalgia menopause and other health challenges so less active mobile social now but I am happy within myself and I would never say never to falling in love again not now but in the future ... I still have good relationships with my children's fathers which has been good for all ❤❤❤
I think the check list changes with age your20 years old list has 0 items but with aging items will be added because you know what you want .No matter what and how you still need the spark the chemistry that will be the ground for the relationship.you definitely not need BS type person a person with drink issuesis a no no drugs no no you need honesty and a person that will stay present and supportive outside the dating stage
Yes… I believe (unless you are just shallow) the list you have is more solid and grounded as you mature. You look more for support, as you said presence, character, integrity, and plan that you desire to continue you to grow. Those things become very important after you are solid in who you are. All of my friends are married to men and women their same age. And/or dating in their age range.
I appreciate much of what has been said but I believe in equality and fairness across the gender's, what I don't appreciate pervasive amongst all podcasts and media is the fact that men need to 'man up' accept constructive criticisms and grow and never is there any acknowledgement that women also fall short, and if there is criticism it is either inclusive of men or is skirted around and diluted. In the words of Charlamayne Da God "keep dat same energy".
@@amis1347 Hmm I can’t remember specifics. It was native North American, though, and the self-actualisation/transcendence was the basis of the needs, coming before the material in that culture.
I really love the topics you choose for your interview and I love you, but you keep interrupting your interviewees all the time. And so they stop mid-sentence and we, as viewers , miss out
Relationships can be tested when menopause enters the mux, sadly a lot of women lose their libido during the process and after, and the mind can be willing but the body isnt. Sad and frustrating but not a fair excuse to cheat or jump ship, there needs to be more to the relationship for a strong foundation in order to get the relationship through this
The comment about the child feel like its their fault when the parents stay together but are misrable😢 That hit hard..really hard because its true😭 I have stopped blaming myself finally after 50 odd years of life😳
How is sexless defined here? once a week? once a month? Or is it when a one partner's drive isn't matched by the other? Is it duty sex? Is it the same kind of passionless sex you've been having for the past 30years? What is sexless actually?
Biggest destroyers of sex lives........children. Limits the opportunity and makes both partners much much busier. Busier lives get in the way of sex. My wife and I would say we have a healthy sex life, but if I was to plot the frequency on a chart, it went down by 50% when he had our first child, and then down a bit more when we had our 2nd. Thats the part that people very rarely talk about. I am dreading whats going to happen when my kids hit their teens and they are no longer in bed by 9pm!
This pop up in my UA-cam feed so I decided to give it a listen. This is my story. I grew up a Jehovah’s Witness, got married to one as marrying a nonbeliever was not an option. We never had sex before marriage due to the religion/bible. From the beginning our sex life wasn’t great. We were sexually incompatible. I’ve tried so much for us to improve but to no avail. My husband hardly ever initiate sex even after much prodding and frank discussions. We’d go months without and I would be the one to initiate. I’m no longer a JW but there’s no improvements with our sex live. Over 15 years of unfulfilled sex. We do not have any children. Divorce isn’t an option. House prices in England is no joke. I couldn’t afford to rent much less buy a home on my salary. Lif is tough.
I have come to the conclusion that narcissists and psychopaths cannot come back from who they are, because you need remorse and empathy to connect with and forgive yourself in order to grow. They cannot connect with themselves on that level.
Anyone in a relationship with a psychopath has had a serious stroke of bad luck and is in for a miserable time. But pure psychopathy is relatively rare.
I've just turned 40 and I'm single. I feel like no one will want me now I'm not a 20 something. Not sure how to build self confidence knowing menopause is around the corner. My romantic life feels over.
I'm in my 60's and having a rich romantic life. In my 40's, I discovered the thrill of men in their 20's. Now I'm into men in their 40's, but still get asked out by younger men. Menopause means NO MORE BIRTH CONTROL MESS!!!
@@rosamoreno4794 no such thing as premenopaus. We're not simply broodsows, measured by our fertility stages. Pharmaceutical companies make it up to sell you drugs. If it's an estrogen lack, try edamame beans or ask a pharmacist to compound wild yam cream for you. Menopause is awesome. No more periods, no more birth control.
This is so greatttt, I couldn't have kids but have hit 51 and am lonely in my marriage and was the grown up and kicked off the conversation. Now separating and scared but more scary to stay together lonely. I've had the therapy, I know what I need to work at, sadly he wouldn't explore that so couldn't possibly of cared enough to save our marriage.....Byeeeee then, I'm off. On another note, this interview talks a lot about the kids, but there are so many people who stay together and hate each other, I see it all the time and its nothing to do with the kids, Life is so damn short.....its ok to consider your own happiness
What about being with someone you have great emotion depth and connection with and intimacy but haven't had sex at all in a year that you've been together? We have lot great times together and memories, lot of laughter too but we not yet managed to have sex. Shes virgin and I have a high sex drive, should I leave? Im 35, she's 36 and our cultures are different. We've had many open conversations about it. I'm constantly torn as to whether to leave just simply because of lack of sex alone when dating world out there is tough to find what we do have. We don't have limitless choice with dating as we think we do and I've been in Long term relationship and been on many dates prior to finding each other and by comparison she filled me with hope and unadulterated joy as well as patience and commitment which can't be said for most of those online dates went on. I just want to give up on something which could have potential but also dont want to become sexualltly frustration and lose desire become apathetic towards simply because she lacks experience. I always find it bit of a choice sometimes then other times the intimacy and things we do, do feel good. Im so conflicted. What do people think?
Can you just talk to each other about the relationship and what you want. She might be waiting for you. Can you slowly build up to sex over a certain amount of time?
It sounds as though in other ways you are a great fit together, so don't leave in haste because of the lack of sex. You want sex , she doesn't , so its something you - as a couple need to talk about. ( if you both didn't want sex , it wouldn't be an issue ,). Talk to her, is she afraid, or shy does she want to wait until marriage? What are her reasons ? I hope you both work it out 😊
By 40 in dream you want a relationship but in reality no. The nature concept of procreation left the station long back. So now it’s more a mind game than in 20s. Relationship in itself is dangerous no matter what age in current world of responsibility and accountability. It was never there earlier.
I know so many women who have had beautiful healthy children (naturally) after 40. It’s been happening for decades. It’s not a new concept. I think it’s so important that people accept the timing for their lives can and will be different than others, and that’s okay. We spend so much time talking about things that “should have” happened at a certain time. But life always proves plans change.
The combination of life / work stress and getting older can heavily impact desire for sex. Plus resentments (even if minor) over the years can collect and build up. Also in getting older I prefer alone time. Combination of all of this is a general lack of interest in sex. Does concern me must admit as I am aware that wife not happy about it. Has become something of an unspoken part of things. I just do not want intimacy. I wish I could do something about it, but if anything, as time goes by, it gets more entrenched.
Loved this. Love anything Davina does. But very relevant to me nd my age group❤ Very funny my partner walked in to the bedroom when the female orgasm bit was being talked about I reassured him theres no problems here at the moment😂
Watching this captivating video stirs up painful memories of the recent end of my 4 year relationship. My beloved partner chose to depart, leaving me with an unyielding ache. Despite my relentless efforts to reconcile, I find myself grappling with frustration and an inability to envision a future without him. Despite attempts to purge him from my mind, I remain haunted by his absence, feeling compelled to express my longing here.
It's hard to let go of someone you love; I went through a similar experience when my 12-year relationship ended. I tried everything to get him back, and eventually I had to turn to a spiritual counselor for assistance.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked him up now online. impressive Wow I just looked Father Obah Eze on the net he’s very legit thanks once again ❤
07:00 strongly disagree. Many couple staying together for the kids is WAY better once its not a toxic environment. You'd be surprised just how many couples are doing this because they're mature enough to agree that its over and keep things civil. The kids have a solid foundation and remain secure and feel loved and safe. When they are old enough to handle it, the parents split up. Its extremely common because its the best solution for the kids
In my observations of women, being one and having female friends, none of them want to be alone esp after theur 30s when chances of meeting someone reduce as their looks fade. So they put up. So do the guys but theyll have affairs. Get the best of both.
Wow great video, I like what Paul said about the 76 year old lady and said I just want him to be able to walk up three floors, that’s all which obviously yes be able bodied but listen what she said everything else we can work round absolutely brilliant and amazing All these young women today come with hundred checkpoint list. Those sort of people will never settle down. End up, lonely with a cat or a dog. It’s so bloody sad please get real and get with it
I don't think narcissists are "bad people" and should be put in the same category as psychopaths...Narcissists or NPD (Narcissistic personality disorder) can change whereas there is no cure for psychopathy. Otherwise, great episode!
What a load of self congratulatory nonsense! Everyone watching this is a good person who has done a bad thing. All the bad people are over there-you are not one of those. There will be plenty of toxic people watching this, who need to shoulder some responsibility for the damage they cause.
trust me childs wont understand at that time lol the will later on if they face relationships but if he see his parents fight its better than be fine and go shit is too easy. i dont know what this guy is saying but i know hella teenager they know their parent werent happy but kid were happy they still stayed. even if a kid knows u stay becus of him the kid is happier cuz that means also he means a lot to its parents to fight for their reltionship rather than be free and live their life. that shit isnt credibility. you dont also face the truth to them at age 4 and saying u will die and there is a possibillity after that is nothing. u will comfort them til they find out itself in a situation or are aged enough to rely understand it
Can I ask you a favour? It turns out that 92% of you watching aren’t subscribed yet!! 😲
If you’re enjoying our episodes, subscribing is the best way to make sure you never miss out on our next guest.
Plus, you hitting subscribe really helps us to get the word out about our community!
We're so grateful to have you here with us every week xxxx
Cut the adverts.
My ex husband had no desire to grow...I had suggested counselling etc. I grew, developed, learned .... and then I realised how much he held me back and belittled me. How much he was gaslighting me. I thought I was going crazy... until I gained that knowledge, woke up and left. My life is peaceful and joyful and I'm never lonely. I'm free! And I can't tell you how good that feels in your 50's.
Ditto ❤
"woke up and left" that is the problem
100%
@@darinivanov1715 never a problem when you leave an abusive relationship
Wow! You just said everything that I’ve heard from countless women your age…and I’m making videos about them dating younger -as an option. Please check them out ❤ and I’m so happy for you
Love this. Love Paul and Davina, from a lady that ended her marriage after 30 years because I was just so lonely and unhappy, I didn't even like my husband, his morals, him as a person at all he wore me down. 5 years single now, scared to make the same mistakes but trying to do a few things outside my comfort zone. So hard, battling that and the menopause makes me even more anxious. I'm trying, thankyou for this so interesting xx
Relationships only work when both parties are willing to put the effort in.
I recently married someone half my age!
I had been previously married for 25 years in a very lonely marriage.
10 years passed by after the end of the marriage to complete the upbringing of the children.
The marriage to this man who is half my age has been literally amaaaazing.
Helping me to get back my identity, time and love for myself.
As well as enjoying being loved in a way that the father of my children never did.
An extremely unpredictable occurrence in my life, but I’m enjoying it and why not 🤷🏻♀️
Hope it continues...
But you're going to age and he'll always be way younger
@@Emma-sc6fr just like men age with their young brides...or does ageing only apply to the female!
Yes agree OP. Am 50's female & recently met a guy 11 years younger in his 40's. He is a very fit, hard working builder & he's head over heels for me. Neither of us were actively seeking a partner so it's been a pleasant surprise.
He's never been married, is very kind, sociable, generous & manages his money well. We've been very transparent about age & he thinks I look younger than him as I'm always laughing & happy.
I've been divorced 20 yrs, paying a mortgage & have a wonderful level headed 25yr old daughter who lives with me. I voiced my apprehensions with her but she reminds me not to overthink & that the barometer to use every week on myself is, ' Do we have fun, am I happy, are we inspiring each other?'
I agree with this vid. in that as an older couple we don't have to 'stay together to start a family'...we are together because we like each other very much.
It's only been less than 3 months but his body language is he wants to include me in things & appreciates my input.
He's naturally a provider & didn't court me with flowers - he turned up every other night with vegetables, fruit, salmon, seafood, meat...& his friend owns a bakery so there are donuts, biscuits & sandwiches. He wants to make sure my daughter's ok too.
Without telling him, he spontaneously knew food is my love language. I gift people food or new recipes I've created. I cook for him when he comes over & is impressed how well I cook.
Although we don't live together we've naturally adopted traditional roles & it's been so easy - much easier than with any other guy I've ever known.
@@mymai5859may I ask how or where you met him? Sincere question.
There are voices who change the landscape and Paul B is the man for relationships.
Every question Davina asked, he answered, precisely, perfectly and concisely. There was a beautiful connection between them. That worked wonderfully
I recently saw my ex after 25 years. He is married but still doing the same job, hanging out with the same people. I’m so glad he dumped me. God works in mysterious ways!
I saw my ex after FORTY YEARS. He was my first love, and we were together 7 years. He was just...insensitive. Including the way he dumped me. Always wondered what could've been, though. He recently tried to reconcile, and he was the same old insensitive jerk. But now I'm so much wiser, and didn't rationalize his behavior. The old feelings were completely squashed by it. Same thing: he stayed in the same regressive town, still doing the same things. I would have been so worn down by him!!!
..... His wonders to perform.😊
Ha ha ha!!!Same here sis!!!❤
This is so good. I nearly didn't watch this because of the title but I'm so glad I did. A single woman working out the realm of dating. Don't know if it's worth re-thinking the title of this 'relationships' feel like lots of singles need to listen to this wisdom..thank you! 😊
Totally agree with you, especially young singles
@@leannedoolan5463 try dating younger men!
Hi there. Im a Career Escort based in UK.
I can definitely say ladies if you're not having sex with your husbands.... they will absolutely find their way to an Escort IF they don't have an affair.
Sex IS a need and IT IS part of a happy, healthy, trusting relationship. Men feel loved through physical intimacy. Women feel loved through emotional intimacy.
Men, if you choose to marry a woman and you think you'll be ok with no sex - you're very wrong.
Ladies if your husbands are saying they're ok with no sex - be aware.
@@Blondiee777 women are hiring gigolos too now. More and more women don’t want any little surprises 😂
I don't disagree with the point that sex is a need. I do take issue with you putting that solely on women. Many men, for many reasons, withhold affection and intimacy from their wives as well.
@melissariccardi7499 It wasn't meant to come across like it's solely women. However overall, I do believe it is mainly women that withhold sex. I absolutely agree some men withhold it too and it may cause the woman to cheat. But it's not as often.
@ I see what you’re saying…but something else to consider is women want a man who is a good lover and well equipped 😜 Not just married women either. I’d love to hear what percentage of the men you meet you’d describe as skilled 🤔
I actually made a video about how a sex worker has it better than a trophy wife. But you probably already agree with that 😄
Paul is so complementary - its wonderful to see
My Ex husband withheld sex from me to be mean for 15 years in the 25 year marriage. I never cheated but he stopped loving me other ways too. He was a decent man but started silently hating me..had a lady on side. We got divorce due to his changes and it saved my life!
I also could have written this wow 😂 also used sex as a way to hurt me...yes it's a beautiful life on the other side. People really dont believe it when I say he was withholding intimacy because hes a man lol
Why or How did you stay so long??? Sounds crazy to some of us. He wasn’t holding you hostage, he was waiting for you to leave.
@@rosamoreno4794 it's a lived experience, not easy to explain, there was an aspect of emotional abuse in my case, a long with inconsistency actions and words, made things confusing.
Also saw how my parents marriage and some part of me thought this is normal I suppose. People dont speak very freely on their relationships and as I also had very little dating and relationship experience along with everyone telling me all the time what a nice guy he was and how lucky i was i guess it got comfortable and normal.
@@rosamoreno4794 honestly it's a lived experience, one i dont think OP and i can explain and In my case emotional abuse from my ex along with some dysfunctional childhood issues made me ripe for the picking, I was damaged emotionally. It was only when I started therapy that I got the courage to leave. At that point I also became aware of what is going on, sometimes you dont know what you dont know and for some of us we think our marriages are "normal" so we dont question things
Wow! I can relate to this 100%! I’m so glad you now have peace and quality of life.
Davina is so lovely. I love her interviewing style.
Thank you soo much for talking about this so openly! especially sex in longterm relationships.. it isn't discussed enough. Thank you both!
Loved this Davina, I have never heard of Paul before but WOW will be listening to his podcast xx
I didn’t know you had a channel Davina, so missed your face on the screen now I’m in LA. I am subscribed and wish you every success with this channel. Really loved this video with Paul.
Davina so glad to find you on here! I loved loved loved your conversation! 😍The energy was so smooth and effortless between the two of you. Paul is just so knowledgeable...thank you!
Sometimes people haven't dealt with childhood trauma and that ends up playing out.
Sounds like Relationship only stands on sex. So bad, no one said relationship should be on honesty, loyalty and kindness not just a sex, sometimes one kiss can be more than great sex
Yes. I don't agree that a marriage without it is a "friendship". There is a level of intimacy that is beyond friendship. People (generally) don't live with their friends, kiss/cuddle them, sleep next to them, take them to family events etc. It's quite diminishing of people that have low or no drive. If two people are married and neither wants s^x, that is still a marriage (asexual people exist!).
The great thing is you are describing people who still have physical intimacy, even if not full blown sex. It's much sadder when there's no physical contact at all. Then it's much more difficult to see what the marriage is. @@egl3369
I guess that’s covered in ‘intimacy’ as it requires honesty, loyalty and kindness
A good marriage is one that works for the couple.
Well said!
Another great episode. I'm so so glad I started this journey with you and your guests. Thankyou Davina xx can't wait for the next one x
You are so welcome! Thank you for coming back every week 🫶
Really great discussion - natural, real, helpful. Thanks.
Age-gap relationships have forever been an old-age Anna Karenina story filled with emotional and physical cheating. Every woman wants an Alexei Karenina until they realize too late that similar interests, similar life experiences, and similar energy matter. Then men want Anna Karenina who is beautiful, young, and youthful but his energy isn't similar, he can't relate to her life experiences, and they have different interests. Thus, people realize too late they chased and picked the wrong things like beauty, youth, social status, and money. They caused their own divorces and misfortunes.
Brilliant Podcast!! THANK YOU SO MUCH TO YOU BOTH. You have just given me new ideas to explore and inspiration when I was feeling down. I am a forever single forty four year old female with no kids and just can't find a partner!! But inspired by my own mother who has got married for the third time (aged 70) and found love again ❤
I loved this interview!!! Beautiful souls!!
I’m closer than ever to my husband. He’s also closer to me.We don’t have sex often
yet we’re very intimately connected.
Health issues - post menopause - etc. We had great sex for the first couple of decades ( 2nd marriage for both of us) and that was lovely. It feels like our bond has only grown stronger over the years. He admits this and acts like it. He is an amazing husband. This is not a friendship - we feel more connected to each other than anyone else. No one could replace him . There’s the way life SHOULD be and the way life is. Be realistic. Our vows were taken seriously. In sickness and in health. I look nothing like I used to so I’m not about to go buy sexy lingerie and feel great about what’s now gone even though I take care of myself / don’t have any issues with weight and I make sure I’m a good wife. ( I do this by NOT just thinking of myself - and asking him what I can do for him. Also Bc of the economy my husband’s had to take on a full time job while running another business. We’re both exhausted yet oh so grateful that we have each other. Please don’t make people feel like something is missing bc they don’t have some amazing sex life.
I agree, but only when both partners feel the same about it.
Wonderful episode ❤
Paul and Davina what a combo.
I was with my ex for 16 years... 10 great years... 6 not great years for our children. We learnt that it wasn't healthy or fair on us or our children. 10 years apart now, and at first, it was raw, but we co-parent amazingly and definitely made the right decision. We're happy again❤ Loved this x
This is one of best interviews I’ve ever seen. I can totally relate to this on a personal level and a professional level.
❤👏👏
Love Paul, hope he realises he's sat across from an ICON.
Most important thing in a partner is being successful in their own field and ambition, end of, without that, dont want to know
Yes, my last relationship was a joke. It was void of everything. I happily ran away!!! RUN!
Why are these podcasts not available in UA-cam music/podcasts?
Staying in something unhappy is such a disservice to self, family, community & even your Creator.
Davina is gods gift.
To who? Not me
He’s so right she is a National treasure. Love these podcasts ❤
Brilliant ❤ listen and watch of Paul and Davina, more of this would be great
His voice is everything ❤
Been married and divorced 4 times I am 60 now and spent last 6 years plus working on myself I had alot of abandonment issues and little girl missing a dad issues looking for love in all the wrong people for me just desperate to be loved but i was also people pleasing self sacrificing me because i didnt love me really .... i survived domestic violence i have learnt to be accountable responsible forgiving others and self healing myself and my relationships with family now I feel whole and single ... had to retire medically from nursing last year with long covid asthma fybromyalgia menopause and other health challenges so less active mobile social now but I am happy within myself and I would never say never to falling in love again not now but in the future ... I still have good relationships with my children's fathers which has been good for all ❤❤❤
Im 63 and im too tired for this!
I am 47 and I am right there with you.
Sounds like you’re not “able”
Fantastic 🎉, love this show xx
Great conversation you guys. Everyone should listen to this.
I think the check list changes with age your20 years old list has 0 items but with aging items will be added because you know what you want .No matter what and how you still need the spark the chemistry that will be the ground for the relationship.you definitely not need BS type person a person with drink issuesis a no no drugs no no you need honesty and a person that will stay present and supportive outside the dating stage
Yes… I believe (unless you are just shallow) the list you have is more solid and grounded as you mature. You look more for support, as you said presence, character, integrity, and plan that you desire to continue you to grow.
Those things become very important after you are solid in who you are.
All of my friends are married to men and women their same age. And/or dating in their age range.
Those doac trailers really did get a hold in the videopodcast world, wow
No online dating for me .
What do you do when one of the couple has a disease that causes impotency?
I appreciate much of what has been said but I believe in equality and fairness across the gender's, what I don't appreciate pervasive amongst all podcasts and media is the fact that men need to 'man up' accept constructive criticisms and grow and never is there any acknowledgement that women also fall short, and if there is criticism it is either inclusive of men or is skirted around and diluted. In the words of Charlamayne Da God "keep dat same energy".
Maslow’s hierarchy of needs should be revisited
please elaborate
@ Flip the pyramid upside down and consider the reverse.
@@amis1347 yes, as in the indigenous model.
@@TheHazelBowden which one? Or you mean in general? I’d be interested.
@@amis1347 Hmm I can’t remember specifics. It was native North American, though, and the self-actualisation/transcendence was the basis of the needs, coming before the material in that culture.
So true with no desire to grow
I really love the topics you choose for your interview and I love you, but you keep interrupting your interviewees all the time. And so they stop mid-sentence and we, as viewers , miss out
So glad you spoke to Paul this was the most helpful video ever I loved it, now how to convince he husband to watch it with me 🤔😂
Relationships can be tested when menopause enters the mux, sadly a lot of women lose their libido during the process and after, and the mind can be willing but the body isnt. Sad and frustrating but not a fair excuse to cheat or jump ship, there needs to be more to the relationship for a strong foundation in order to get the relationship through this
The comment about the child feel like its their fault when the parents stay together but are misrable😢 That hit hard..really hard because its true😭 I have stopped blaming myself finally after 50 odd years of life😳
Loved this, thanks so much ❤️👏🏻
How is sexless defined here? once a week? once a month? Or is it when a one partner's drive isn't matched by the other? Is it duty sex? Is it the same kind of passionless sex you've been having for the past 30years? What is sexless actually?
Love 🥰 it, great work Davina 👍
I see Davina I subscribe instantly
Biggest destroyers of sex lives........children. Limits the opportunity and makes both partners much much busier. Busier lives get in the way of sex. My wife and I would say we have a healthy sex life, but if I was to plot the frequency on a chart, it went down by 50% when he had our first child, and then down a bit more when we had our 2nd. Thats the part that people very rarely talk about. I am dreading whats going to happen when my kids hit their teens and they are no longer in bed by 9pm!
It’s called you lock the door and turn up some music!
This pop up in my UA-cam feed so I decided to give it a listen.
This is my story. I grew up a Jehovah’s Witness, got married to one as marrying a nonbeliever was not an option.
We never had sex before marriage due to the religion/bible.
From the beginning our sex life wasn’t great. We were sexually incompatible. I’ve tried so much for us to improve but to no avail. My husband hardly ever initiate sex even after much prodding and frank discussions. We’d go months without and I would be the one to initiate.
I’m no longer a JW but there’s no improvements with our sex live. Over 15 years of unfulfilled sex.
We do not have any children. Divorce isn’t an option. House prices in England is no joke. I couldn’t afford to rent much less buy a home on my salary.
Lif is tough.
Loved this episode ❤
Her shoes😍
I have come to the conclusion that narcissists and psychopaths cannot come back from who they are, because you need remorse and empathy to connect with and forgive yourself in order to grow. They cannot connect with themselves on that level.
Anyone in a relationship with a psychopath has had a serious stroke of bad luck and is in for a miserable time. But pure psychopathy is relatively rare.
I've just turned 40 and I'm single. I feel like no one will want me now I'm not a 20 something. Not sure how to build self confidence knowing menopause is around the corner. My romantic life feels over.
47 and in PREmenopause and it’s a F’ing nightmare. I hear premenopause is worse than menopause.
I'm in my 60's and having a rich romantic life. In my 40's, I discovered the thrill of men in their 20's. Now I'm into men in their 40's, but still get asked out by younger men. Menopause means NO MORE BIRTH CONTROL MESS!!!
@@rosamoreno4794 no such thing as premenopaus. We're not simply broodsows, measured by our fertility stages. Pharmaceutical companies make it up to sell you drugs. If it's an estrogen lack, try edamame beans or ask a pharmacist to compound wild yam cream for you. Menopause is awesome. No more periods, no more birth control.
I'm menopausal and have been for 7 years ( 36) I am not the same woman I was, sexually, physically and most definitely mentally . @@rosamoreno4794
@@bl7817you can still get STDs!
This is so greatttt, I couldn't have kids but have hit 51 and am lonely in my marriage and was the grown up and kicked off the conversation. Now separating and scared but more scary to stay together lonely. I've had the therapy, I know what I need to work at, sadly he wouldn't explore that so couldn't possibly of cared enough to save our marriage.....Byeeeee then, I'm off. On another note, this interview talks a lot about the kids, but there are so many people who stay together and hate each other, I see it all the time and its nothing to do with the kids, Life is so damn short.....its ok to consider your own happiness
Excellent conversation, get well soon
What about being with someone you have great emotion depth and connection with and intimacy but haven't had sex at all in a year that you've been together? We have lot great times together and memories, lot of laughter too but we not yet managed to have sex. Shes virgin and I have a high sex drive, should I leave? Im 35, she's 36 and our cultures are different. We've had many open conversations about it. I'm constantly torn as to whether to leave just simply because of lack of sex alone when dating world out there is tough to find what we do have. We don't have limitless choice with dating as we think we do and I've been in Long term relationship and been on many dates prior to finding each other and by comparison she filled me with hope and unadulterated joy as well as patience and commitment which can't be said for most of those online dates went on. I just want to give up on something which could have potential but also dont want to become sexualltly frustration and lose desire become apathetic towards simply because she lacks experience. I always find it bit of a choice sometimes then other times the intimacy and things we do, do feel good. Im so conflicted. What do people think?
Can you just talk to each other about the relationship and what you want. She might be waiting for you. Can you slowly build up to sex over a certain amount of time?
It sounds as though in other ways you are a great fit together, so don't leave in haste because of the lack of sex.
You want sex , she doesn't , so its something you - as a couple need to talk about.
( if you both didn't want sex , it wouldn't be an issue ,).
Talk to her, is she afraid, or shy does she want to wait until marriage? What are her reasons ?
I hope you both work it out 😊
loved it. little bit late if love can ever actually be late. xx
By 40 in dream you want a relationship but in reality no. The nature concept of procreation left the station long back. So now it’s more a mind game than in 20s. Relationship in itself is dangerous no matter what age in current world of responsibility and accountability. It was never there earlier.
I know so many women who have had beautiful healthy children (naturally) after 40. It’s been happening for decades. It’s not a new concept.
I think it’s so important that people accept the timing for their lives can and will be different than others, and that’s okay. We spend so much time talking about things that “should have” happened at a certain time. But life always proves plans change.
@@KFontLabmy second at 43. Still my statement does not change. Nature is nature no matter.
So genuine, love it
Gorgeous human beings 😍 Comnection 🎉
love these two -
Great content thanks..
People confuse lust with love and when the lust runs out. It’s like building a houses foundations on sand.
This video is a gem 💎
The combination of life / work stress and getting older can heavily impact desire for sex. Plus resentments (even if minor) over the years can collect and build up.
Also in getting older I prefer alone time.
Combination of all of this is a general lack of interest in sex.
Does concern me must admit as I am aware that wife not happy about it. Has become something of an unspoken part of things. I just do not want intimacy. I wish I could do something about it, but if anything, as time goes by, it gets more entrenched.
This is very good !
Loved this. Love anything Davina does. But very relevant to me nd my age group❤ Very funny my partner walked in to the bedroom when the female orgasm bit was being talked about I reassured him theres no problems here at the moment😂
😂
Watching this captivating video stirs up painful memories of the recent end of my 4 year relationship. My beloved partner chose to depart, leaving me with an unyielding ache. Despite my relentless efforts to reconcile, I find myself grappling with frustration and an inability to envision a future without him. Despite attempts to purge him from my mind, I remain haunted by his absence, feeling compelled to express my longing here.
It's hard to let go of someone you love; I went through a similar experience when my 12-year relationship ended. I tried everything to get him back, and eventually I had to turn to a spiritual counselor for assistance.
Interesting! How did you locate a spiritual counsellor, and how can I get in touch with him most effectively?
His name is Father Obah Eze, and he is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
he is father obah eze, he has great powers, he can help you.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked him up now online. impressive
Wow I just looked Father Obah Eze on the net he’s very legit thanks once again ❤
Better be happy alone than miserable with someone.....
one of the most important decisions of life... that's right... so don't make that decision as a teenager or too young
I love the set.
, I'm just waiting to see if I could do the right thing 💪🙏 to fulfill my heart and soul thank you so much appreciated and needed 🙏❤️
07:00 strongly disagree. Many couple staying together for the kids is WAY better once its not a toxic environment.
You'd be surprised just how many couples are doing this because they're mature enough to agree that its over and keep things civil.
The kids have a solid foundation and remain secure and feel loved and safe. When they are old enough to handle it, the parents split up.
Its extremely common because its the best solution for the kids
My parents did this and they were unable to show me how to live and love in a relationship. Dumbest thing ever! Don’t do it!
My parents were HAPPILY married for 55 yrs ,,,, My Aunty was Happily married for 66yrs ,, 💚
I don't do relationships 😂 I like my own time . 😂❤ Love Davina ❤❤❤🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🥰also I am lesbian so ya know 😂❤
In my observations of women, being one and having female friends, none of them want to be alone esp after theur 30s when chances of meeting someone reduce as their looks fade. So they put up. So do the guys but theyll have affairs. Get the best of both.
Paul is on my level or I'm on his
Whichever way ...
I relate
I wish I had learned this in high school
Great podcast❤
That's a new one😂foreplay...the English way...let's make a cup of tea😂
By this definition of love asexual people cannot be in love. I don't think that's true..
Wow great video, I like what Paul said about the 76 year old lady and said I just want him to be able to walk up three floors, that’s all which obviously yes be able bodied but listen what she said everything else we can work round absolutely brilliant and amazing
All these young women today come with hundred checkpoint list. Those sort of people will never settle down. End up, lonely with a cat or a dog. It’s so bloody sad please get real and get with it
I don't think narcissists are "bad people" and should be put in the same category as psychopaths...Narcissists or NPD (Narcissistic personality disorder) can change whereas there is no cure for psychopathy.
Otherwise, great episode!
No don’t agree about the sex part! Love is more than that .
Of course it’s the most important decision in your life
i've never had a relationship i feel like im on a different planet to the rest of you an outside person
What a load of self congratulatory nonsense! Everyone watching this is a good person who has done a bad thing. All the bad people are over there-you are not one of those. There will be plenty of toxic people watching this, who need to shoulder some responsibility for the damage they cause.
Its hopeless out there
trust me childs wont understand at that time lol the will later on if they face relationships but if he see his parents fight its better than be fine and go shit is too easy. i dont know what this guy is saying but i know hella teenager they know their parent werent happy but kid were happy they still stayed. even if a kid knows u stay becus of him the kid is happier cuz that means also he means a lot to its parents to fight for their reltionship rather than be free and live their life. that shit isnt credibility. you dont also face the truth to them at age 4 and saying u will die and there is a possibillity after that is nothing. u will comfort them til they find out itself in a situation or are aged enough to rely understand it
I thought he was Tyson Beckford
Now you talking about the 76 year old...makes me thing the right thing to do is wait. Be patient untill your of age mid life before you marry