Відео

Great video. I’m looking to do a doctoral degree in counselling psychology after my counselling training. Hope 2nd year treats you well!

Thank you for the insight. I’m from India and planning to go the same path as you ❤

Loved your "bad idea" section at 7.22. I haven’t relapsed w direct contact, but the awareness from the mutual circle does indeed feed the limerence. "Maybe our mutual friends will be able to get us together!" 🙄 Thankfully, the longer nc goes on, the more they forget, and the more it feels like a natural fade. Great input, thank you.

Whenever a limerent thought enters your mind tell it 'you can pass through but you cannot stay'. The reason limerence stays so long is because we keep it a secretive obsession in our heads. The more you talk to people about it, the more you realise it's nothing but grandiose projection.

Just a quick thank you🎉 I did not just want to consume your videos without any kind of appreciation. What you say is profound and professionell. It's balanced and never shrill. It helped me quite a bit❤🎉❤ In case you read this. Is the definition of limerence always limited to a person one cant get or do we find the phenomena also in relationships where one person feels much more (unreasonable) affection and romantic longing than the other person, who really does not care much and does not even bother to find a compromise? Thx❤

What actually happens when you are married to your LO? I mean, I actually had LO who was interested in me and comparable. Still blew it by being limerent, but how does limerence actually work when that person is completely available? Is it than still a problem?

Going insane! I blocked this guy back in October, didn't see him again until December and I saw him with his new girlfriend, I then didn't see him again for months until June (with girlfriend again) and I still have an obsession. During that time I developed limerence with ANOTHER guy thinking it would mean I got over the first one, but now I'm just dealing with two at once. I'll never see the first guy again, and the second one has just moved away for a year, so no contact with either

EFT tapping has helped me

i've been doing this since i was little and i never hated it, yes, it makes me 'waste' a lot of time but for me it's not a waste, i love to do it, plus i'm a writer and this is my way of living my stories. It's a part of me.

Unfortunately, I have 2 children by the individual that I’m obviously limerent over from what I can see. We stem back from high school and were even high school sweethearts but we played so many games back and forth with each other. He was my first love and Idk if I was or not but he introduced me to his mother and other family back when we were actually dating. However, he’s never been there for our children and probably never will. We dated 3 times and here within recent years; had a prison love/situationship that I ended some years ago!!! I have recently discovered that my issues are psychological from my abusive childhood etc…..so now I’m working to get over this issue; permanently even though I truly feel that I love ❤️ this guy and I’m 49. He’s 50 and we’ve been off and once since 1990. 😢😢😢😢 I did get married to another guy that lasted for almost 10 years but when I got my divorce was right back to trying to get with the limerent situation!!!! There’s where the “prison” love started or situationship. SMDH I’ve been pouring more into myself and trying to analyze it all so I can finally move on and never look back!!!

Unfortunately, I have 2 children by the individual that I’m obviously limerent over from what I can see. We stem back from high school and were even high school sweethearts but we played so many games back and forth with each other. He was my first love and Idk if I was or not but he introduced me to his mother and other family back when we were actually dating. However, he’s never been there for our children and probably never will. We dated 3 times and here within recent years; had a prison love/situationship that I ended some years ago!!! I have recently discovered that my issues are psychological from my abusive childhood etc…..so now I’m working to get over this issue; permanently even though I truly feel that I love ❤️ this guy and I’m 49. He’s 50 and we’ve been off and once since 1990. 😢😢😢😢 I did get married to another guy that lasted for almost 10 years but when I got my divorce was right back to trying to get with the limerent situation!!!! There’s where the “prison” love started or situationship. SMDH

I say the answer is YES 🎉 I'm living proof 😂😂

Do you personally offer counseling to people in the United States? How does one sign up for a session with you and how much does it cost? You’re more informed about this issue than anyone I’ve met and the least shameful about it.

How to solve limerance. Find what your avoiding with limerance. Go to that space. It's gonna hurt more that the limerance but can actually be solved so is temporary. Heal whatever wound it is. Resolved (painful and hard but worth it). Recovered limerance addict here

Thank you

My limerence resolved itself in one fell swoop: me - codependent, him - covert narcissist traits. 10 months into a relationship where I treated him as though the sun shines out of his a..e, he got drunk (again), looked me square in the eye and hurled the word c..t into my face, completely without context. While it felt like a totally bizarre and unexpected slap in the face, my love haze has evaporated, and he is blocked. Eventually the mask slips.

Can you please do a video on how you would have prepared if you didn’t have that foundation year for MSc please

Almost 2 months of no contact and it's a torture, it spikes up full on anxiety and abandonment issues but there is no other way, he rejected me and I must except it. The problem in my case is that he leaves next door to me 😢 found myself monitoring through the peeping hole when he comes back home, just to see him without him knowing, and saw him entering his house with a woman, it trigeered me to a panik frozen state and I feel lost, we are not moving flats sny time soon and I feel lost. How can I handle that?...

I have deleted all the messages, threads going back months. Now I can't read them over and over again, trying to read between the lines like its the di vinchi code. 8 months of pain and longing. Enough is enough. I don't want to feel like this anymore.

seeing as i haven't seen my LO for over 12 years and still find myself pining for a day we might bump back into each other I'm gonna go with "no"

I don’t actually mind being in limerence, my thoughts are more exciting than when I’m not but the lows hit when you come back down to earth , oh that was just a daydream and it hits you that it’s not real. Mine is quite new and someone I’ll never meet. I prefer that, I’ve had Lo’s that are local and find them more stressful.:

Are you greek georgiou? New subscriber very clear and instructive content thanks 🙏🙏

Is limmerince really that much of a problem? You seemed obsessed with it. Could we explore other topics?

I'm starting to question what Limerence even is; if it's one concept or several. I see these people who fall in love with the housekeeper they saw 20 years ago, I don't say this to be demeaning or anything, it's just it ranges from that to getting too attached to a friend. In my case I got too attached to my friend, who was always there for me during my worst depression who went away for a month and I felt really awful, figured out what Limerence is, etc. She got back, and before this I actually felt no romantic feelings, just pure emotional needs not being met (needing comfort, support, physical touch, but not in a romantic way) but basically the pain of the limerence kicked me out of the depression enough to actually feel my feelings again in general, and we vibed a lot harder of course, some chemistry developed and well, nothing ended up happening due to life circumstances but basically we're still good friends. It's worth mentioning this friend and I have been very close for a good while before I got attached, so there is something to build off there for a genuine friendship, and I of course had to do a lot of self-analysis on what feelings were actual feelings of romantic interest vs. just limerence vs. feelings of friendship, but basically I'm much less attached now after working on it for a few months while still remaining in a lot of contact. The reason it's worked is cause I looked at what needs she fulfilled in my fantasy, and why I felt this way, and why my life lead to feeling such a void in these areas. I'm working on these things hard now and going to therapy, and while I do still think about the situation a lot cause it's been intense, I'm not really thinking of fantasies much. The thoughts are far in the background now. I understand that limerence is a big spectrum, and that for a lot of people NC def is the best option, but I also feel like with people on forums and such online you get a representation of only the people who struggle the most. It of course depends on the situation, in my case with a close friend, but I really don't think NC is the way to go always. I guess we'll see in the long run. I'm very self aware of the possibility of my mind playing tricks on me, but I genuinely don't feel a strong pain anymore, just some background noise. It gets reduced in steps over time as processing occurs.

I am now in 3 days of real no contact. So also not checking socials and photos and so on. Cold turkey full abstenence. Its quite hard but I have to push trough. 1 day at a time.

Is it normal to think he is going thru limerence w me as well ?

i think i said this already but i really do appreciate your videos. you were the first professional i’ve ever seen talk about limerence and the only one who could perfectly describe my situations from a objective point of view. i’m still a teenage girl, but limerence is all i’ve ever known. at first i thought it was love or just a normal crush. i’m over it now, but i don’t think i’ll ever be able to fully “fix” my limerence because i always get obsessed

my mechanisms are so complex (with specific objects and locations) and it requires so much energy that sometimes my ADHD would fight back and make me stop or even lose interest at all, but when I can meet all the requirements: a bed, a pillow and being alone... it can last for hours. the best thing that happened to me is to live with my girlfriend. the shame made me turn that urge into something more productive like going for a long walk and watch the city while thinking I have developed an electric car that can fight Teslas's, or sometimes to actually solve real problems I've got.

Its literally every story line combined in one for me....... 🤣 this is going to end me honestly

1.5 to 3 years, that's great to hear. I am losing my mind right now........... its been about 4 months. And i cant literally listen to any music that's about love or longing, watch any movies that have some sort of love story, see any photos about love, it gets me immediately fantasizing about those scenarios with the LO. Jesus christ, how did i end up like this, embarrassing. i'll have to go live in a forest, some cabin to be completely isolated from everything. Thank you Marios for these videos. "when you're ready come back" that is literally what the LO said to me. My limerence has every story line Marios mentioned in one of his first videos about it. And everything he says i've had those fantasies in my head. I think have to watch these videos everyday to snap me back to reality... and to realize its not real and is all in my head.

I wish I could stop 💔🥲

That's frekengly relatable

Thank you for the information. It even helps with getting over a real life break up.

Thank you for your work and your videos on limerence. They're so helpful for me and my clients. I'm a therapist in Canada, and a coach internationally and I work people experiencing and suffering from limerence. I'd be happy to share my contact/info if you like.

I haven’t experienced anything so tortuous and emotionally crippling as LO 😢

This is a great video (and shows a lot of empathy and proper understanding of the phenomenon). I appreciate the very good advice, and the fact you say the internet is not a replacement for therapy. Good stuff. (7 months of NC, hardest thing I've ever done)

hello , thanks alot for sharing this knowledge with us <3. * the sound of the video is kinda low for a video please be aware of it for next video, thanks again.

Please increase the volumen of the audio...it is a great information that need to be reached

I deleted all contacts, social media etc. I realized I really just yearned for his attention when I had contact. I'm feeling 90% better now. Gosh limerence is effiing hard

thank you for this video! really appreciate it, but i have a question though, is it any different from just ... talking to yourself? something similar to dan howell's "i talk to myself" video like 10 years ago lolol would that be considered maladaptive daydreaming as well?

Thanks Marios for this great video. I needed this one RIGHT now. I was discussing with someone if checking social media was relapse and i said it wasnt but he said it was kind of. And you hit the nail on the head, checking socials is relapse. And especially now, she is on vacation with her date to the maldives, how the heck do I even want to know whats happening there? Its torture. I texted her the last time 1 week ago . She blocked me on whatsapp though. I need NC so much. So also not reading old messages and checking socials, listening voice messages etc. Im going NC all the way. Full abstenence. 1 is to many and 1000 is not enough. Thanks!!

Thank you for your wisdom. Im 1.5 years into my Limerent experience, she is unfortunately in my social circle (same beach volleyball community), so I inevitably run into her either at the beach or social events with mutual friends every couple weeks, but I do my best to practice no contact that is within my control, like removing all social media, never texting, speaking politely to her only if she speaks to me first but keeping it short, politely declining offers to play volleyball together with a made up excuse. The first year of this was the hardest of my life, as I would quickly remove myself from the beach or social events when she was there, and it was unfortunately noticed either by friends or by her, so she became aware of my actions, though I admit part of me wanted her to notice, but I absolutely could not force myself to stay either, as seeing her (especially with the guy she ended up choosing over me) was just too painful to bear. I have come a long way, and the pain has become manageable thanks to all the tools and knowledge I have learned from you and other sources. I have accepted that this may still last a while, but I remind myself to be kind to myself and to reflect on how far Ive come, and that moving on is not binary, but a gradient, it will gradually get easier over time. Stay strong my limerent folks, it does get easier, I once thought I could never get through this. This pain has also forced me to grow and change in ways that I can be proud of, I am a wiser, better person because of this, so I am thankful for the lessons Ive learned and the person I have become.

Thank you so much for these videos. Like others, I have been maladaptive daydreaming from an early age, since I was about 11. I didn't realise others had been battling with this until last year. I never thought about dissecting the themes of my daydreams until now and I already feel empowered.

I’ve found that even social media’s friends of the limerant object was partial contact. It came back when I accepted a friend request. So, I had to block. My limerence abated after that.

as an artist, I've struggled with maladaptive daydreaming my whole life and often rationalized it as being a part of my creative process - but after a year long depressive episode where I was making no art and spending hours every day in fantasyland I realized it was making me so much less actually productive. I want to find a balance between using this ability to construct compelling narratives without being consumed by them, but it's something I rarely hear other animators/ comic artists / script writers / directors discuss!

I was so close to a limerant behavior last week. Yes I'm in no contact now. Yes it works because there is no possible reciprocation so it will end. But a pro tip I would like to give is the mind should find something more equally 'upsetting' to distract the mind from LO and keep it engaged (it depends still). For me personally, it starts with a missing feeling almost like an intense homesickness, like the distance is hard to handle.

I've experienced similar thing twice but dealt with it in a different ways. I had a strong crush on a guy, but he said he had a girlfriend so I backed off, stopped texting him and seeking any opportunity to meet. But I've continued having fantasies about him. Fantasies lessened when I met my now husband, though I would go back to fantasizing sometimes, for arond 3 years even being in relationships. Though if that guy had asked me to date him I would say 'no', mostly out of fear. I think there's also might be a fear to actually get to know the person because fantasy will fade then. Now 10 years later I have a suspition that he's not a knight in a shining armor. The second time I didn't cut the contact with the another guy, we worked in tha same company so I would be difficult. It gave me chance to actually get to know him and whoosh fantasies gone, he's not the person I fantasized about. I think it was caused by some sort of crisis in relationships with my husband. I still do have fantasies about different people I work\study with, though it seems like fantasizing is a way for me to deal with boredom, and also I figured they're almost always about just 'him falling for me', no erotics, just about noticing what a great person I am. Probably it's not even about love addiction or limerence, just craving acceptance. The most important thing I've realized over time, that those people aren't real, but my husband is, he's sitting next to me on the couch watching movies and such. And I know him, I don't have to imagine what's he's like, and that's like 1000 times better.

It’s just like a drug! Experiencing withdrawal symptoms just like I would for a drug. Been just over a month being Limerant. Hope I get quickly out of this as it will lead no where..age gap/different countries etc.These videos are indeed very helpful!