Rules Low Maintenance Women Live By *MUST WATCH*
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- Опубліковано 30 вер 2024
- Hello Lovers,
In todays video we are diving back into the high maintenance energy series with a video detailing the rules and/or mindsets that the low maintenance woman usually has.
As I get into during the course of the video…low maintenance women are not our foes. Quite the contrary…I fully believe they are just confused and frustrated high maintenance women who are still trying to figure out to get their needs met. How to get the people they care about to treat them better….how to get promotions…etc
ALL of it is being done in the way of the low maintenance woman and as you will see in the video…and as I hope my returning viewers have learned by now….this is the WRONG way to go about it. It’s a common mistake to believe that you can martyr yourself just perfectly enough to get what you want. However, not only does it result in toxic relationships and a lot of resentment on behalf of the LMW…it's just not effective at all.
So again…the LMW is FAR from a foe. We love her. We just want to help her peep game and get what she really wants in life.
And this channel is the place to get all the details, tips, tricks, and mindset shifts needed to transition from the frustrated and unfulfilled life of a low maintenance woman..to the glowy, juicy, best lived lives of the high maintenance (and proud) woman.
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I was "a low maintenance woman" for my now estranged husband from the age of 19 to 28 yrs old. Then I became seriously ill and he left me for someone else who he had been seeing behind my back for years.
That was over 4 yrs ago and only now I've recovered emotionally.
I'm high maintenance now because I now know my worth and I won't let anyone take me away from myself again. Thank you for this video! xx
Omg!!!! I’m so sorry to hear that but I am stoked that you are thriving now! :)
Congratulations!!
❤️❤️❤️
I'm so happy for you! 💪You ARE worth it.
Yes I agree and have a similar story. I have always geared towards high maintenance and was always shamed for it by my whole community. I can't care anymore and they have to go if theyr'e offended.
Growing up it seemed low maintenance was the goal. "High maintenance" just equaled difficult to put up with or be around. As an adult, I now realize that I'm high maintenance, but with a very laid back personality. Most things in life my attitude is, "eh, whatever," but some things I just can't compromise on. I began to realize this was true even more after I had children. I could not become the mom that didn't shower or put on real clothes every day. It seems like moms try to wear the disheveled look like a badge of honor, and there have been times when my own mom has shamed me for taking the time to put on makeup or get ready every day. It's almost as if there is judgement that if you're a mom that looks put together, like, "How do you have time to do that?"
I’m not even a mom but this is SUCH a great example and I agree 1000000% - if I ever have a kid, I fully intend on the same & I am so delighted to know there are moms like you in this world that are setting this example
I literally just talked to my therapist about the idea of the low maintenance woman (she called it the "good little girl") and how it was actually ruining my relationships rather than building them. I felt that being a good wife meant never complaining and only praising or everything would fall apart. It was ruining me from the inside out to be compliant and never speak about my own feelings. I exploded. Luckily, I have an amazing partner who listened to me and adjusted to my needs once I actually spoke about them. Society needs to stop glorifying the idea of an "easy-going woman".
One extreme or the other is never good but balance is key. You see the opposite of this behavior is loud flamboyant disrespectful woman. So having a voice as a woman is vital but some have taken it to disgusting extremes.
@@thatprettymama4875 Everything in moderation for sure. There is definitely a difference between being yourself and being disrespectful or vulgar.
Girl I'm sooo sick of living a low maintenance woman life. I always tried to make everyone comfortable. At least I'm ready for the change. :)
Yes ma am!
Me too send help
Love the point that always jumping in to "save" other people or fix their problems isn't actually helping them in the long run, and we're doing our friends/family/partners a disservice if we don't allow them to learn to handle their own crap. I'm a highly loyal person and I sometimes have to really check myself and ask "Is this my problem to fix?" As I get older, I'm getting better at setting those boundaries. You can be supportive and sympathetic without doing all the work for them.
YES MISS MA AM!!!!!!! It's not cold, abusive, or abandonment in anyway of a loved one to make them deal with their problems.
"[Being low-maintenance] is fear and low standards masquerading as morality and some kind of moral code." I'm going to be thinking about this for the rest of the month, if not the rest of my life. Thank you for saying it, Whitney.
⁰
I'm a low maintenance woman because I'm SO tired as a homeschooling momma of 5, I don't have much time. However, I think I can be on budget high maintenance regime.😂 Love this series❤
Home schooling 5 children...wooow you must be superwoman, all my respect to you, I am sure I could not do it.
High maintenance doesn't inherently mean you need products and scheduled appointments for beauty. Ensuring that you give yourself the time and space to do what you need to do and that you know what is the most important to you IS high maintenance! If your version of self value is rooted in your role as a parent or a teacher, that's just as valid as if your self value is rooted in your career or appearance.
@@Kiterpuss right high maintenance can be time for a nap or a bath . all self care is not about money
@@Kiterpuss So well said....
you know what's a good exercise if you are in this position? Look around at the women in your life, in their 60s+. You will see the fruits of being a high or low maintenance woman. Yes, life hits us all differently but we all know that one aunt we've known our whole lives who has been operating as low maintenance and has nothing good to show for it.
Yesss love the high maintenance series! Needed this today as I stick to my standards.
Yesss! Do it girl!!! Xoxoxo
Agreed!! This is such a safe community that’s been created.
I usually refer to women you are describing as high maintenance as "women who take care of themselves and honor themselves"
I definitely strive to be more high maintenance but I have a hard time saying "no" and setting boundaries. 😢 yep, everything's negotiable. That's me 😔
It’s ok to say no :) and it’s ok to be told no :)
@@whitneyhedrick I love that you added “and it’s ok to be told no” because that somehow drives home the point better than without.
Very good points. I am very high maintenance at 60, always have been and proud of it. It is more a self-esteem thing, I guess. I know many low-maintenance women and if anything, I feel sorry for them although I am pretty sure they don't even realize how unhappy they are. Love your channel!
Thats the worst part..because these are seemingly admirable things they just keep on with it because it makes them "good"...but unhappy
@@whitneyhedrick So true...
Being high maintenance has a new meaning for me after watching your videos. I have done so much of this work with in myself through out the year’s and these videos really help put it into perspective.
As a physicaly disabled and mentaly ill (have bpd) 40 year old woman I needed to say thank you for this series I have found it very hard all my adult life to care about myself, theese videos really help me stay on track with the work I have done (and am still doing) in therapy. So thank you very much. Blessing to you and yours.
hot girl summer --> hot girl fall --> hot girl winter 💯💗
Yes yes and YES! :)
Lightbulb moment girl!! Me realizing that my whole career I’ve a low maintenance women. I’ve been trying to push myself career wise but I only got a kick in the ass when my husband said (after listening wfh meetings with my managers) that I’m a pushover and too nice at work/interviews and always lowballing my salary compensations.
I think a lot of low maintenance women have suffered some sort of abuse in their childhood that makes them be desperate pushovers that they may not be realizing. I'm still learning things I think most of my peers learned back when we were teenagers or possibly even before that, but for me everything had to be a fight, it's a whole damn saga and I'm just glad there's a way out at all, even if it's taking even more work
I feel like you were speaking to the me of 3 years ago with this video, like I swear I have said some of these excuses for so many of my friendships before!! Literally, I was so scared to stand up for myself that I just let people take and take from me until I finally had enough and decided to say “No” and then all these people tried to switch it up on me and blame me for all the mess that THEY created with their own actions and behaviors. I was like fine blame me all you want and left, and 3 years later I’m becoming my best high maintenance self 🥰
I can't lie, I watch the high maintenance series, and I definitely feel like I have some of the low maintenance traits.....and to be honest I feel a little bit judged and a little bit "less than" by the time of this video. I totally understand that your intention is to be helpful......but the tone on this one is a teeny bit off. I do appreciate your core message in the series......but there are a lot of situations and relationships that you touch on here that have much more nuance points to them, than "just do the work on yourself". Lots of women do not have the circumstances, support, resources or finance's to unpack all of this on their own. I do truly appreciate that you are coming from a position of inspiration, but I think a little more empathy would be greatly appreciated.
If they don’t have those things then they shouldn’t be in a relationship w that type of person in the first place.
Your hair is so gleamy! What shampoo and conditioner do you use? or oils? xxx love from Australia
Why did Whitney tell me what years of therapy and dozens of specialists couldn’t?
Wow! Huge compliment :)
You'd like HG Tudor's narcissism videos. Like, a lot. It's dark.
He made me check my agreeableness, which was a fawning response from defensiveness i.e. don't leave, validate me, love me back etc. A passive aggressive way to control people. It's a narrative that was trained into me by family. The Rescuer as Dr Ramani said, the 'be kind to everyone and you can fix them with the healing power of love! If they don't improve, it's your fault!' self-blame Beauty and the Beast BS. Some are groomed to be good supply. But as an adult, I corrected it. I avoided the dark once I could see it. Masochism is not noble.
I witness how a big issue is dating v courtship. Courtship ends in marriage, dating ends in nothing. Women 'hear' things the guy doesn't say, but hints to manipulate her. There's no 'why is he telling me this?' They eat it all up with a spoon.
Women rely on imaginary titles like 'girlfriend'. Legally it means nothing and men know this. The verbal commitment is engagement. They get to control their 'girlfriend' like a wife, sometimes for YEARS, stringing her along like a cat, like a placeholder until someone better comes along. That isn't dating it's exploitation. The 'boyfriend' has zero responsibilities and only upsides, like a seeming expectation of conjugal duties from a non-wife. Historically, live in hookers were the most common form of prost!tution. Russia still has this as apartment arrangements. A GF is a mistress to an unmarried man. Women rationalise this to themselves and waste their prime fertility years. Sunk cost fallacy. The guy is 'future faking'. He used to get sued for breach of promise. Now he doesn't even need to promise, he hints - forever. The girls blame-shift and deflect, infantilising him like a kid. Does he wanna get married? A maybe is a no. There's also a lot of triangulation, pitting women against each other so we never compare notes. We'd figure out the con. It's a long con. Girls are being BENCHED while men 'sow their oats'. Jesus never decreed all women to self-loathe and self-harm via other people, to suffer to be worthy of love. Neither do we earn God's grace. "love her because she is a woman" - Holy Bible
If men want loyalty, the onus is on them to sign on the dotted line. They're all talk, no trousers, as we say. They 'spit game' and do nothing a WW2 vet would recognise as masculine. Feel free to use any of this in vids. I wanna help.
Oh Im here for A LOT OF THIS....and you are smart cookie....I make these videos to warn people about narcissism and narcissistic relationships...I try to come at tit another way :)
This is such a wonderful comment! I found myself smiling as I read it. You are absolutely right!
I don't know if you have ever read anything by Theodore Dalrymple? (That is his non de plume, btw. His real name is something far less colorful than Theodore Dalrymple 😂).
He has written a number of books, one being 'Life At The Bottom: the worldview of the underclass '.
Anyway, in an interview with Jordan Peterson, Theodore Dalrymple said a lot of his female patients desperately wanted to marry their boyfriends but the boyfriend refused. This was usually after many years together and sometimes children but no wedding ring. When Theodore would talk to these boyfriends, these men (and it is always only men) would claim that marriage is unnecessary and 'just a piece of paper ' to which he, Dalrymple, would always reply 'If it's just a piece of paper, why won't you sign it then?'
Because, of course, the men know it is far more than 'just' a piece of paper!
This reminds me so much of the book “why men love bitches” have you read it??
For me it was the sense of duty for the longest time. I didn't want to be a burden on those I loved. I tried to appease and support everyone so they could flourish. I was too comfortable with being in the background. Now learning to put myself first.
So true. Great job with your delivery 👏 I'm a very TO THE POINT "High Maintenance" Lady myself. I don't have time for games, disrespect nor foolishness. It's taken me too long to know exactly who I am to become a Palm Tree for people who don't have a clue who they are. Love ya much my darling little Sister 💗 ❤
Love you more xoxooxox
I worked above and beyond for 5 years at a job that didn’t pay a living salary, while my sister refuses to show up to work before 11am and she makes well into 6 figures lol so now I’m going to start breaking all the rules and being a terrible employee to get respect lol it very obviously works
As a follow-up to this video, I'd love a video about how to heal inner wounds. I hear alot about healing inner wounds, but still a bit unclear on how to go about doing that. Been loving this high maintenance series, please keep it coming! :)
Coming soon for sure :)
Even before watching this I knew you were going to hurt my feelings (in a good way) and I was right! It's so frustrating realizing that when I was young, I really did all of this thinking it was a good thing and the right thing to do, no one ever told me otherwise. Wish I had this video when I was 16, but I can still work on changing at 23. Thank you!
I'm getting a high maintenance high from your wonderfully wealthy content Whitney 💫💕💫
Oooh! I love that :)
I used to look at life like that waiting for people to realize my sacrifices. No one! Ever did! So I don't sacrifice ish anymore.
I feel like I have been raised to be low maintenance. If I ever spoke up for myself or had an opinion, it was considered a bad thing. My parents didn’t see my value to begin with, so I was taught not to value myself.
I love your high maintenance content. You make me feel good about the choices I make in life when the rest of the world tries to make me feel guilty.
That makes me happy to hear :) always follow what feels GOOD when you can. And thats never gonna be guilt :)
Yes! I absolutely love what you say about the ride or die phrase... Absolutely not! That's a recipe for drama my love for anyone (except my child) IS conditional & always will be... Conditional upon his you treat me!💓
Can you please write a book about being a high maintenance woman? I have soooo many people I could gift it to, including myself :)
I’m 16 and coming to the realization that I’m high maintenance (my sister too). We were talking like an hour ago about how we’re so spoiled (even as a poor family lol), and how that’s kind of shaped us into who we are. We refuse to settle, we like to look our best to feel our best, and have never had a boyfriend (compared to many of our peers lol). Sometimes I just feel like a narcissist, or a bitch, even though I do hold back a lot for the comfort of others, which I don’t mind at all, I want to be a comforting person. But the way I dress or my mannerisms make people think I’m stuck up and sometimes other kids will be mean just because they assume I’m bitchy because of my mannerisms or how I talk or dress. I don’t know about my sister but I make sure to not let anyone talk to me disrespectfully because of how they perceive me outwardly, it’s so annoying.
Well explained... Thank you. I was low maintenance due to circumstances beyond my control. I am currently focusing my energy on me and mentally I am in a better space. You said a lot of how I feel and felt.
I’m so freaking proud of you! Been watching from the jump and I LOVE this series! One book that changed my life is Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud. Definitely a must read for any high maintenance woman.
I love your videos!!! They're so necessary. Thank you for continuing to talk about these topics 💗
Glad you like them!
Your video’s have helped me so much. May God bless you and heal your anxiety 🙏❤️❤️🩹I myself have suffered from ptsd and depression this year. I am going through a horrible custody case battle for my 10 year old . His dad and I were in an abusiove toxic relationship and I haven’t seen my son 😭 I see a therapist but I have lost so much confidence in myself and I see how I am this low maintenance and I don’t want to I need my life back and my confidence back . 🙏thank you for the work you put in God says faith without works is useless I know who I am in Christ but the flesh sometimes doesn’t accept it and I just hide like a scared puppy when things start to rock. I’m learning to distance myself from those who I feel I am a doormat. I know high maintenance is within but even the exterior needs work
Oh honey....all I can say is...I feel you. Stay in therapy and focus on yourself and the positive things to help you maintain the energy and mindset to take all this on. Im rooting for you xoxoxo
@@whitneyhedrick 🙏❤️❤️🩹Thank you for your kind words 💕
My whole highschool life i thought i was a low maintenance, but heck no i was actually not
thats great! :)
You look stunning in this video! So beautiful 😍
SO good to see you back! That top knot is giving me LIIIIIIIIFE!
thank you so much! :) :) :)
I feel as though you were talking to me about fixing others problems. I USED TO do that but, if they aren't willing to try why am I going to do it for them?
EXACTLY!!!
I am living for your makeup and lashes glowing 😍😍😍😍 love your series!
THank you so much!!!
Just got out of really toxic relationship after he almost suffokated me. I tried my best to break my temper to only make him happy before that. This video helped a lot. Thank you
You Reuploaded an old video?!
I thought this Whitney sounded familiar. Felt good to hear these gems again though. I know I’m on track to being the best version of myself for me so that when that loved one who has shown up for me that needs me, I can be there in my highest energy to lend them a helping hand.
I just discovered your channel. Whew…. You are spot on 😆😫.
-signed, a recovering low maintenance woman ❤
Road To 200k QueeN
Love that thumbnail tho
Your Beyond Beautiful you are
Makeup always on Point
Nice Cheeks Structure
GoodmorninG
Happy Fabulous Weekend Too
Be Bless n Stay safe always
💯 Big Facts. And ppl always give me shit for having high standards 🤷🏼♀️ OH FUCKEN WELL LOL
You're so sweet! THANK YOU WHITNEY!! For making ME realize SO MUCH! And for making ME do MY "inner-work" on MYSELF now! And now, I'm LOVING to be by myself at the moment...because I'm doing the work that NEEDS to be done, in order to love MYSELF!!
I wish more women could watch this 🙏🏻
Sounds like you're saying to stay away from narcissists 💯
You came back in FIRE, Girl! I love everything about this video!
Thank you for another wonderful video! I’ve been keeping up with your videos over the last few months and I find them so helpful and they have helped me change in a way that makes me so much happier. Now I have all these friends that are so low maintenance it drives me crazy. Could you make a video about how to help others see the light lol or is it just something they have to figure out for themselves? I’m at a point where if they can’t make progress I’m going to have to cut ties which I don’t want to do when I know this mindset shift will change their lives just like it changed mine. Idk. Thanks!
I could make a video but it would basically say this: people gonna do what they want. You cant make anyone see the light. Best chance is to lead by example. You can still be friends with these people but it might also be helpful to branch out and make ones that are also a little more your speed :)
Thank you so much Whitney! Very eye-opening! I really needed this video, and your intelligence continues to amaze me. I think it's also possible to be high maintenance on the outside but low-maintenance within. Sometimes it's hard to stand one's own path and not let someone else let us pull us away from it. But in doing so, we don't let our path evolve into the happiest one. Knowing oneself is so important in this, and I really thank you for shedding some light to us.💖💖💖
Awww thank you for saying that :)
I leave a comment for a UA-camr from time to time never expecting a response. Pleasantly surprised and you made my day! I hope you are feeling better and always remember there's lots of love or you all around you all of the time.💖
I’m an ex-low maintenance gal
Yasss. I wish for every woman I know and love to hear this information loud and clear. Including myself. 💗
spread the word! :) :) :)
I feel like this is about me 😂😂 No but really ha
uh oh!
Yesss!! 💖 so ready for this video. Thank you for the amazing content 💖
Hope you like it!
Hey Whitney just got here don’t even know how, but I loved this high & low maintenance women idea. Were you ever a low maintenance woman and you grow out of it? I unfortunately see patterns for the low maintenance type in my personality and I am just wondering if it’s possible to completely change that… thx for this great video!
You just called my out wow 🤦🏾♀️
Thank you so much for this video your honesty is so refreshing!!! I refuse to be a low maintenance woman !!
Why is this video hitting in allllllll the right places!!🙌🏼 Seriously feel like I just went though a therapy sesh! Thank you, thank you. You’ve just shined a giant spot light on a major source of my life’s pain and WHY I’ve landed in the fear based place I currently sit (but not for long hunny!). I’ve always looked at my low-maintenance existence in exactly the ways you’ve described and I adopted this mindset way early in my childhood. So there’s a lot to unpack, but I am ready to do the work 💪🏼 Ready to stop the nonsense & pour all that energy back into myself ✨
I found Whitney recently and absolutely love her way of getting her point across .
Does anyone have any other channel recommendations similar to Whitney ?
love this thanks for your raw vulnerability. I have a friend I need to stop proving my value to.
Biiiiiiitch why did I so need to hear this today. Accurate is all I can say
And I meant the biiiiiitch with love 💙 it's a term of indearment
You are beautiful. I'm so happy your uploading again. Please keep the positivity going 😊
I love the high maintenance series💓😩
me too :) :)
Any advice for a girl planning to put her all in a future career ? I’m starting uni in Montreal, Quebec btw
Im gonna have to rewatch this idk how many times bcs I honestly feel so attacked 🤧 😔
Wow. A video I didn’t know I needed.
Glad you enjoyed it :)
Yay!!! Love this topic
Me too :)
You are so refreshing. In agreement with all of this
Needed this today- thanks girl ❤️
Love love love the high maintenance series. Love ❤ 😍 💖
PREEEEACH 🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌
Oof. Even though I love her to the moon and back, This is definitely my mother.
I am low maintenance because I never cared about makeup and still don't
I never care about fashion and still don't.
I don't care about fake nails
It's all wasted of money
I don't expect anything in in return at all
I am nice and have empathy.
I don't explain shit.
I help people because I am nice
I rather be alone
I love your hair
Thank you!!!
Yayyy new video on the topic!
So glad you are back and feeling better !! You look stunning & thank you for another fantastic video. I always look forward to your content. Sending lots of good vibes your way 🤗🎉❤️
Thank you so so so much sweets :)
@@whitneyhedrick You’re welcome ☺️ !
I absolutely adore your maintenance videos 😀please please more please
Love this series❤❤❤
Thank you for this video 🙏 very inspiring
You are so welcome!
Love the series too! xox
MORE. VIDS LIKE THIS MISS!!!!!!!!!!!
Alrighty :)
❤⚘
Can you do other types of videos other than high maintenance
She does other topics all the time, this was the first one in quite awhile in fact. It’s a series…
yeah its been a minute since ive done anything at all due to health concerns...and I just wanted to revisit this for the first time in a while. But the good news is...there is ALSO new types of content being edited as we speak :)
@@exastrisscientia0 yeah I know I’ve seen all her videos , I just miss the old ones
@@whitneyhedrick yay 😀
@@whitneyhedrick so glad you’re starting to feel better! You deserve it! Whatever you bring us, I’m here for girl! 💜
♥️
❤❤❤
Xoxooxox