ASMR is fairly mainstream these days, e.g. used to sell things, I think that any stigma of belonging to the ‘whispering community’ is a thing of the past. Your lack of confidence in your work is a human condition commonly found in thoughtful and sensitive people and dare I say is also prevalent in the Scottish working class psyche, where taking the pish is our national pastime and being open to something new and nurturing artistic expression is a minority sport. The super confidence expressed by our transatlantic cousins is alien to our culture. For me the closest have we have to that level of confidence is reserved for toffs whose sense of entitlement is bred into them, reinforced by their private education and facilitated by the class system. I might not be a typical ASMR consumer, but for me the content is secondary to the delivery; timbre of voice, pace of delivery and personality of the artist are more important. I have even been known to watch ASMR about things I find objectionable e.g. Reiki, Christian ASMR, post1969 Star Trek! Keep up the good work and fake it ‘til you make it.
Mate you fkn nailed it. It's an unfortunate downside of the culture I'm sure. But I'm going to keep on doing it...in a way I hope all my fear would materialise, then I can get it out into the open and get over it. :-)
It's quite sad that some people can still find ASMR something to make fun of. We as creators should NEVER have to feel embarrassed by what we do and if those FOOLS can't accept us then that's their problem. All love man and I hope you can get back on track soon 💙
You guys have to understand too that not everyone is going to like your work and you have to accept that. It's ok to not like everyone and what they do, just like you don't. Calling them a "fool" doesn't make you look any better or indeed affects their intellect. I don't support bullying or harassment but these days many people have a very swayed peception of the difference between that and constructive criticism.
I'm in exactly the same place. My channel is still pretty small but I do dread negative comments because I'm too sensitive. I say, just go for it and throw yourself into it. I regard you as an established ASMR channel now so you should do what you like. Imposter syndrome is the worst thing ever! Unleash the best! Do it!!!
Yeah what is it about all that? I don't really mind the negative comments as such... but my mind puts images of my family or others watching my videos with a raised eyebrow and judgemental eye. It's all in my head, but it can be crippling at times. Thanks man! We can do this!
Thank you for sharing this lovely, vulnerable video. I think ASMR is becoming a lot more mainstream. People do joke about it . . . but, at the same time, they like it and listen to it. ASMR is, generally, a genre that calls for the vulnerability of the creator, and that’s why it’s so special and wonderful. It’s a service, is partly how I think of it. A helping profession. Through your own softening and vulnerability, you create a safe space for your viewers. I feel like it’s more accepted for women to be soft and vulnerable, so it’s especially important that men like you create ASMR. You’re showing that there’s a powerful masculine force that works through channels of compassion. I really appreciate and admire that. It’s bold.
Sorry! So many messages. I’m just really excited for you because you’re going to do even more amazing things than ever, and I can’t wait to see what they are!
Thank you for this comment! Yes I think you are 100% right about the soft / vulnerable vs masculine parts of ASMR. I do have trouble with that and often feel very self-conscious as I am filming and I think that is obvious on screen. Thank you so much for your kinds support!
I think I'm right there with you, I know I am constantly afraid of criticism and I take steps to try to become smaller or less noticeable to try and protect myself from that negativity. But with that being said, as someone who is on the outside looking in and participating in your community, I really really appreciate and admire all that you've accomplished. Your ASMR has also really helped me relaxed in these scary, self-conscious situations. If there's anything I can say to you, it's that you positively affect so many people's lives, so even if one or two people take something away that's negative, the vast majority love and appreciate your hard work and content.
I feel inspired when I see someone who is afraid of judgment or retaliation reach for their goals and live their authentic life. Thank you for putting yourself out there
You know what I admire the most about you? You're afraid of doing stuff and at the same time you grit your teeth and share your fears/worries with brutal honesty :)
Totally relatable. For the first year or so I didn’t show my face or tell my name so no one would ever be able to prove it was me irl. I decided that when I got to 100k I would show my face because I would be successful and it wouldn’t be anything to be embarrassed of at that point. Soon I realized that I would never get to 100k and went ahead and showed my face. I still fear being found and judged but I’ll cross that bridge if it happens. 💕
Some of your videos are in my 'favorite ASMR videos' playlist, for example the tribble microphone video. Long time ago when I first heard of ASMR I may have thought it was a little strange, but of course I eventually went back to it and found it relaxing. To me it's all in the intentions. If an ASMRtist is whispering quietly into a microphone, some might think its weird. But to me all I see is a person who is genuinely trying help people relax and/or sleep. If people find it strange, personaly I just think thats because they dont understand the intentions. I can imagine it would be rough to be an older male in the HEAVILY female based ASMR community, and I can definetly understand how it would feel to be in the minority. But I personaly believe your videos are some of the most genuine ASMR videos out there, and that's probably partly because you still make them, and put yourself out there even though you are afraid of judgement. I'm pretty sure thats the definition of courage.
I TOTALLY understand your reason why you are afraid to to ASMR videos. Your voice is AMAZING and this is what UA-cam needs. DON’T STOP!!!!! You will go far on this platform.
A fantastic person once told me to lean into discomfort. That is how I try to approach new challenge. I've only just started my asmr journey and the fear is driving me to keep trying! can't please everyone. We are all weird together, in our own special ways! ✨🤗✨
you know, there are times where I become super self-conscious as a consumer of these videos and commenting. I worry about what other people are judging in my comment or liking it or not so I can't even imagine being at the forefront aka the spotlight of this all and how it could not make you a little uneasy. For what it's worth, I appreciate your candor and honesty. I do hope you have more fun doing this rather than not... Otherwise what would be the point? I'm glad to have you as a resource though.
I totally understand where you're coming from, I watched ASMR in secret for years because it felt like it was regarded by the general public to be weird/kinky. But just yesterday I read in a major online magazine where they referred to an ASMRtist as an ASMR Influencer...like it's finally being normalized and recognized as a legitimate art form and relaxation therapy. I would recommend checking out Carol Tuttle; her book Mastering Affluence was a life changer for me. I hope 2021 is your year to release the fear and be 100% comfortable with yourself...because 16,000 subscribers think you're awesome😉
I related to this video more than any other medium, whether that be another ASMR video, a speech, a lecture, or podcast-I’ve never listening or read anything that hit closer to home than this. This is unfiltered. This is honest. I love your channel already, and I just need to say thank you for putting this out there. I wish I had a video that’d help you get over your fear of failure and be free, I really do. But this, this is my video that helped me get into a mindset of overcoming my own fear of judgement and people seeing imperfection. I’d resend a link of this goddamn video but that’s corny as hell. So thank you. Thank you so much, and I hope you overcome your inner demons.
You don‘t see bigger ASMR channels talk about these problems, because they have gotten enough confirmation over the time and thus, are more resistant to the tiny amount of negative comments that are bound to be written. I can relate to you in a personal way because I‘m autistic and have always had problems with (mostly social) anxiety. A big problem for me was always going to parties and other social gatherings, as it felt like everybody was hostile towards me. I never immediately got that much confirmation and gratification from jumping over my own shadow, but in the end it has always paid off. Over the time I learned that my fears are irrational, but it took time. If there is a magic trick that takes away ones problems, it’s basically time itself. I learned to not expect immediate change, but to focus on subtle changes for the better, instead, which kept me going. Maybe you can understand my view of things.
I found that whenever I feel a burst of energy, or have an exciting new idea - just like you described from years ago, when you started off - I get to work right away, or at least write down the ideas and what excites me. And later I do it. And throw it out into the ether. Because really - at the end of the day, it all comes down to is what makes YOU happy. yer personality and joy are drawing people it - ive been your sub for such a long time now, and im here to see you blossom. the doubt and hesitation is perfectly normal, we all get that no matter what job we're doing, but yer only here for a limited time - and its precious. i cannae wait to see you crack the shell and rise above it all. in many videos i already saw it, and keep seeing it - so its obviously there! and ps: people who dont like personal attention videos are the real weirdos ;)
I'm not sure what can be said to lay you completely to ease, but if you have gotten something out of this thing you have made, these gifts to us, then I pray you continue to pursue what you enjoy, if for no one's benefit but your own
Being judged is the worst. I've always worried about being mocked. I can't change any of that. I can say this. I don't suffer from my ptsd, insomnia, or anxiety. I'm tormented by it. My time in Scotland and Ireland and overall Europe. The accent is soothing and calming and if you're reading a book or a role play. It quickly brings me to my favorite places and sounds of where I wish I were. Thank you for what you do.
I found your channel after seeing you in “The Gentlemen” ASMR collab. I thought and continue to think you are tremendously entertaining. Posting on UA-cam leaves you open to near instant commentary … good and bad. Putting yourself out there can be difficult even for famous entertainers (the amazing Barbra Streisand has stage fright) I love your frankness and your imagination. I hope you continue make content, ASMR or otherwise.
I will keep going for sure! I just want to be free of the judgement monster so that I can make 10x more content! Thank you so much for your kind words!!
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Lord I have had the exact same journey as you into ASMR. I started making videos based on sounds then fell into role plays which I find easier to do. Like just having a basic script I can improvise around seemed more comfortable for me. And I'm not an actor, I don't even think I'm good at it. But I tell myself that it's the ASMR that comes first so if it relaxes people then it doesn't matter how good the acting is. My heart goes out to you cause I've had all the same insecurities about making videos. I've tried lately to just be open about my channel. And the reactions have been just like you said, some folk say weird but cool, good for you. Some really dig it. I'm starting to not worry as much and I don't know how. It's like I'm starting to get into my head that if I make what I want and people don't like it, I've actually done something brave and that's an amazing thing to be able to do in life. Good lord I could go on all day. May have to DM you haha.
I hear you pal! I wonder if it's often a Scottish thing, always worried about what the neighbours will think, not wanting our family name to be 'mud' haha. Whatever it is, its deeply programmed in the old noodle, but we keep fighting it off and create what we want anyway right!?
@@ASMRMuzz nae worries bud. We defo need more Scottish representation on here 😀Just do what makes you happy and comfy and don't let the bastards grind ye down !
I’ll never forget the conversation that I had with my Mum about ASMR. She was very confused about what it was until I mentioned that it wasn’t all that different to the “Calm” app that she uses to get to sleep by listening to their “sleep stories”. And I bet that would be the case for most people since everyone has a way to calm themselves whether it’s through ASMR, Sleep Stories or meditation. And if you want to feel better about yourself, just know that many respected people have tried their hand at ASMR under the guise of “Sleep Stories”. Even a cursory glance at the Calm UA-cam page showed me that Stephen Fry, LeVar Burton and Laura Dern have all spoken softly into a microphone to help people get to sleep. So you’re in good company Muzz!
I personally find it interesting to hear about what the artist behind the videos goes through. I think it is a nice way to connect to your audience. Your voice is so relaxing no matter what you talk about and I love this openness and authenticity. A big thumbs up from me. Wishing you all that is good.
After over four years on YT, I've never felt like I've ever been legitimate. After passing milestones, that fear never abated. I make enough on YT to pay my bills, and it still didn't seem to matter, I still felt just weird and out of place. I've found a few things that have helped somewhat: 1. No matter what I do, I will be judged. Whether I do what I want or play it safe, it will be judged and I have no control over that. However, I'd rather be judged for doing the shit that I love than not. 2. My therapist has talked with me about not running away from these feelings, these fears because I will just always be running away. However, I can just sit with them, notice them, let them be there and not fight against them, and just open myself up to that. It's hard, it sucks, but accepting that instead of running away from those feelings has helped. 3. I find I'm getting too old to not just say, "fuck it." I'd rather do what I want and regret it later on than not do anything and regret it later. At least I did the thing, you know? Anyways, I wish the best for you on your journey and hope you can find something that brings you peace ❤
Wow Calliope! Well done on pushing through and building an amazing channel, I watch your stuff all the time and see you as a confident, established artist. Funny how our mind might not see it that way. Totally agree on that philosophy too, just need to keep affirming that we do what we want, no regrets.
You’re so great.. I did ASMR UA-cam videos for a little over a year and had the same fears.. I ended up deleting my channel and now I wish I didn’t. Don’t let anyone make you feel strange. It’s helping so many people relax and fall asleep (who naturally may not get much of) If it makes a difference, I’m dozing off thanks to you. One Insomniac appreciates you being on here at least 😉 let yourself feel confident about what you’re doing. Fuck those who are close minded to it.
This is such a real place for creators to be. All art has an autobiographical component. It takes us to a place where we can be really raw even if we didn't intend to be. It is human to want to be accepted. I do not think it is something that we can remove from our lives. What we can control is to act from a place of openness to others. Lean on the tight community that you have created and the trusted inner circle. Be as creative as you want. 16,100 of us are here for you. - Butters
Your channel is honestly a wonderful thing. You have such a relaxing voice and personally you are really comforting. I love the Scottish representation too of course, so thank you for what you do x 🏴✨
I feel this way a lot as a viewer, I have never told anyone I watch ASMR for fear of being judged. I do feel it is still quite stigmatized. Though it continues to gain popularity, so obviously I must know people who watch it 😄 I saw a video a while ago where a creator said that the decisions we make should be in our own best interest; make yourself your own priority. It sounds selfish, but even if we’re in relationships or have other responsibilities, the better we focus on our own happiness the better equipped we are to be present in those relationships. The creator framed it in that if you make your content for you (and not your audience or other external folk), over time that confidence grows larger than the fear of judgment over something people won’t likely judge you for anyway :)
I admire your vulnerability. It makes you special. I was a bullied kid and to some extent, people still single me out for keeping true to my integrity and principles or art form, even if goes against the status quo. I hope you don't continue to feel hesitant or paralyzed due to fear of judgment. So many people, myself included find you to be incredibly unique, special and enjoyable. Self-consciousness is a normal part of a performer's or artist's journey. I know it's easier said than done, but I find it best to concern myself as little as possible with other people's opinions. As an actor myself and. Filmmaker, it's something I've wrestled with and letting go of the value of opinions was the best gift I gave myself. Which isn't to say I don't value feedback or constructive criticism. You have always been legit to me from the get go. I love your work, your humor and you're a great actor. Your work means a lot to me and I love that you can also share your feelings and thoughts to us. You are a man of substance and it is a pleasure to be your fan. "Failure" is subjective if not a beautiful teacher to grow from. That's very fortune cookie like but very accurate. Once you can learn to abandon that notion. You'll feel so much better. Taking risks is a part of it. You have a lot of people who love you. Appreciate you. But at the end of the day, all that matters is your love of what you do. It's going to take some deep inner work and a process, but if you're determined to grow and feel better, You will. The best way to "belong" whatever that means anyway, is to be authentic. You're amazing and you have my support. ❤ Lito
I feel you. I am no creator but this fear of being judged- I'm so very familiar with that too. Making and airing this video probably wasn't easy and took you some courage so thank you for your courage and thank you for your honesty. 💙 You do cool, funny, relaxing and beautiful stuff that helps people to ease their stress, insomnia or anxiety and that's a wonderful thing to do, something to be proud of. Also, in the end it's YOUR channel so you can do what the beep you want, you don't have to justify yourself to anyone. If you make videos just because it's fun making them- so what? There's nothing wrong with it, not at all. If you decide to do non-ASMR- there's nothing wrong with that either. Just do whatever you feel like! 💙💛
You don’t sound ridiculous. You go with your heart. I personally love your channel. I think we all have a fear of being judged. I know I do, but I now tend to say “f*** it” because life is too short not to live it and so what we love no matter what others believe or say. I also look at it as it’s their perception which is their problem for not understanding (which is not your problem). Keep on keepin’ on 💕💕💕
Yeah the older I get the more inclined I am to say 'f*** it' which is why I started the channel, but the judgment is like one of the last piece s of the puzzle to truly feel free to create. Thank you!
Hey, just wanted to say that your videos have gotten me through some anxious times and help me fall asleep. I work in healthcare and it’s really difficult to fall asleep some days/nights. I think your videos have a positive impact on people’s lives whether you know it or not. It’s difficult to shake off perceptions and judgement sometimes. I think if you enjoy making asmr and can stand beside your work, support will follow. I think your subscribers can attest that your videos are great and that they help bring a sense of calm as well.
We don’t know you, we don’t have any right to judge. We are WATCHING and consuming your content, so most of us love it. The select few that wanna bully and troll are people who are just mad that they don’t have the guts to chase their dreams. Please don’t be embarrassed or discouraged, if it makes you happy, do it. If it’s any validation, we LOVE your videos. It’s not too seductive or weird, we love the vulnerability. People who judge you are honestly insecure and I hope they get better. But you? Do you, it’s okay to be close. It’s okay to be real. I wish every human could be this personal
I think when we put these fears on the table like this, it can make them a lot less ...feared. Hopefully this was like a therapy session for you to just talk about it! also Very relatable! I enjoy real videos like this!
Do what’s best for you, if you’re in the mood to make a video then we will all be here to watch and support you. You’re definitely conflicted, so take some time to work things out. Be happy my friend.
Express yourself! There’ll always be people who judge, but they will be outnumbered by people that gravitate towards you being you. Maybe not at first, maybe you will lose subs, but eventually it will fly. Your ASMR is class, imagine it with the shackles off!
I say got for it!! Make what you want the weirder the better. You have seen my channel 🤣. I don't have any books but if you do find books or link send them my way too
Thank you Jodie!! Yes weirder the better, I sometimes get that confidence and creative urge at the same time, that's usually when I make some good (and often weird) videos! I just need to harness it more and keep the judgemental tiger at bay.
Wow, I can so relate to this! I spend my entire life afraid of judgement, all the way down to writing this comment. Will I sound stupid? Am I wasting your time reading it? Who am I to think you care about what I say? Thanks for saying these things, it really is better knowing you’re not alone.
As a radio presenter I feel judged every time I’m on air and that’s never changed over thirty years, and probably never will! Truth is I’m the one doing most of the judging in my head. My advice is just do what you feel and you can’t go wrong, it’s helped me. Constructive feedback is good, but ignore the rest. You can never please everyone all the time, but the people who follow you / listen like what you do, we’re all friends here :-) I’m here for your rambles, so no bother about them either!
Thank you Stuart! This is encouraging to hear. I don't mind the fear of it, but when it actually stops me from creating it becomes a blockage. I'm glad I made this video, so I can read comments like yours!
That sucks! We do some people still hate on others just because they don't share the same opinion?! Be strong, we are beside you! We love your videos, don't let haters bring you down. And if you want to take a break, just do what's best for you. We won't leave! 🤍
I can relate to your thoughts again. I have the same problem with my music in a way. everytime I made something new that is somehow weird or different, I begin to think what my relatives or people around me in general think of it. Now days I just think to my self that I was brang up to this world without my own consent so why would I stop my self from doing something I love and I'm good at doing. Also its the fear of being abandonned really to think that now that ppl think Im weird for creating something like this, they're not gonna wanna be around me, which is just bullshit and if something. They should be jealous and impressed that you have that kind of a power to show your real self to the world and not give a shit about what others think! Love these realtalk vids btw. Take care mate.
I'm sorry to hear about your crisis of faith. I don't think there's any way to truly defend against negative receptions/judgements, especially in this day and age where so much of it is rendered loudly and often in bad faith. Still love your work, Muzz and I hope you continue to produce content into the future. And if you don't, then I'll be thinking positively about you either way.
It's not about reading. It's about doing it. Fearing it, but doing it anyway, and THEN.... seeing what happens. It's being afraid, facing those fears, telling yourself Yeah, but probably that WONT happen, and MAYBE...... something really cool will happen! It's about self talk that CHALLENGES those anxious inner voices with logic. It is CBT: Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. And you know what? This right here is step one! Admitting, out loud, what it is you're afraid of. So take the next step! I'd hold your hand if I could! :)
I think you’re daein’ just dandy there, man! In my main job, I have to be seen to be online and I get loads of abusive comments and emails from trolls, and at first it’s a bit of a shock, but now I can honestly truly say I do not care one wee jot and I carry on living my life and earning my keep. Just you carry on with your own life, you have plenty supporters here!
There are gonna be people who stigmatize ASMR, but you can ignore those people. Not everyone is going to give you feedback that is relevant to your growth. If they’re going to make fun of you over it then they are the one who have issues. You being comfortable with the content you’re making is super important.
You are afraid of doing things and at the same time you share your worries and fears with honesty. Please feel hugged. There will always someone who jugde you for something bc you don't fit in their world(s) but don't let them be your inner voice. Your videos are great. I often wish I just could sit with you on a porch for a chat bc I love your voice. I understand your hesitations but don't let other unimportant people, who maybe know nothing about you and your family be the reason to stop you. You've came to far in live to let strange people decide how to live your life.
Dear Muzz, I don't want to win the money, but I can really recommend you a book on Stoic philosophy that also helped me a lot in my life since I've got in touch with it. It is called "How to think like a Roman Emperor" by Donald Robertson and is a great introduction to this topic. One of the basic ideas of Stoics is that you need to meditate on the question, of which things are in your control (e.g. your intentions, will, effort) and which things aren't (e.g. if your healthy, if you have material wealth, what others think about you...). Following from these meditations about things we crave or worry about, we should be able to recognize what is actually external to us and therefore not under our control. If something is not in our control, we therefore shouldn't worry about it, since it isn't really up to us, no matter how much we fear someting or wish something to happen. Of course this is a very abridged input on stoicism and I am usually not someone that writes comments on UA-cam, but I think this could actually help. I hope, that you do what feels right to you. Thank you for all the great videos you've done until now!
You don't have to be afraid of what you love. There will always be people who don't understand what you do. There will always be haters. But you don't need to worry about them, because they are just a dustings in you galaxy. You should concentrate to those people you can reach with your voice and your stories. Go on with what you love. It is a pleasure for me, to listen to you. Greatings from Germany 👋🏻😊
Nassau Coliseum in NY has a seating capacity of 16.1K. Google a pic of it full of people. Every time fear treads on your creativity, look at that picture. Every person in the image is one of your subscribers. We like what you do and want to see more. UNLEASH IT!
I really get your worries. They're the reason I haven't started my own ASMR channel yet although I have wanted to do so for years. My family (and some friends) might judge me, especially since most people think it's a sexual thing (I mean there is ASMR tagged porn out there...) I am excited to see what you'll come up with in the future!
I think you are great, I love the accent and I understand feeling hesitant about stuff and I'm working on that too. But know that you have people who think you are wonderful!
I feel this, as do pretty much all artists, I think which is so sad and weird to think of. I watched this TED Talk (ua-cam.com/video/h7v-GG3SEWQ/v-deo.html) about impostor syndrome and she says the body can't tell the difference between fear and excitement so just tell yourself you're excited instead until you believe it :) Also, talking it out and being real and open like you're doing and have been doing, that's really major I think. Best wishes, man, and keep doing what you're doing!
Hello, I've been a long-time watcher for ages, and I really wanna say, if you're feeling embarrassed that your content could leak into your personal-life or effect the lives of others in your life, I'd have to say I completely understand that. I wish I had words of advice to give you, I'm sure your comments will be filled to the brim with supportive and much wiser subscribers. I just want to let you know, We all completely understand if it takes you awhile before you upload any other video from now on, just know we love you, and support you. P.S I absolutely dote over the Scottish. Every time you speak I just get put in a trance, I could listen to you go on about almost anything for centuries.
I don't really get much from traditional relaxation stuff I mean yeah I look at them occasionally but they don't give me the same affect as tingles and the overall relaxtion immersion of ASMR It's very very tough to keep up your confident an creative momentum With SOCIETY An all its terrible anxieties If your not on Tik Tok or using this or interested in this or that X Y an Z... There's something wrong with you... I consider it a highly Introvert community /domain Ooh you like that ASMR weird whispering? .... See ya haha Keep it up you've plenty of fans ❤️🏴 Take your time with your content no matter how long or short😊
I've struggled my whole life with what can only be termed "crippling anxiety" (diagnosed GAD: Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and Social Anxiety). IT's taken to this RIPE old age (older than ye might think!) to find proper meds that work well etc and now FINALLY it's much much better. :) But yeah I still get that feeling sometimes and typically tell myself "What's the worst that can happen"? And just do it. I do have kids, one is 15. Buuutttt.... everyone already knows I'm a bit.... eccentric heh so I just roll with it. :P
@@ASMRMuzz Right? IT's just something we live with. Luckily for me I got some help- medicine but also years upon years of therapy, heh :) I like to say than nowadays I'm fairly decent at "logic(ing) my way out of it". ;) Lots of self talk about how things are more likely to NOT go wrong, etc. ;) I always had more trouble with "anticipatory anxiety" than I did with actually dealing with the feared situation itself. Go figure. :) You can do it!
I’ve long stopped wondering what the current ‘cool’/‘trendy’ thing to be is. Bitcoin nerds ten years ago are now hailed as prophets. Gamers, once social recluses, are now central to pop culture. Rather than FOMO into what is ‘cool’, I say stick to being an outlier and watch the world catch up :)
I love that! I feel like that's something NZ taught me. I think I'm yo-yo(ing) between huge surges of confidence and then underlying issues of self-confidence and fear. Totally agree with you though, lead the way and let the world catch up, fkn love that.
I'm of the belief that the more popular channels are linked to promoting or selling something one way or another. This sounds like I'm minimizing the effort people make, but the idea that I'm trying to share is a direction which you can take if you're interested in hitting big numbers.
I can relate to the enthusiasm at the beginning and making like 5 videos in a night!!!! lol Tim hortons - don’t worry all the Canadians know this isn’t product placement there are Tims everywhere we all drink it right??
I sort of have a similar problem but it is more about creative procrastination than embarrassment. But I did find a video that helps me and maybe there's something in it that might help you. I will share it on the patreon discord.
^^; Ahhh. Take what I'm going to say with several grains of salt. I am not an ASMRtist that I should especially understand your struggles. And, I am a full on weirdo: so I'm used to being mocked, excluded, and misunderstood (often _purposely_ ), since, like...birth. 😅🤭 Yet, there's an expression. "Get in where you fit in". It's very natural that not everyone is going to like everyone else: even if we get rid of all bigotry in this world; even if we were to replace our competitive profit-based culture with a collaborative well-being-based one; even if we somehow revolutionized our abilities to communicate with each other in a neurologically fundamental way...when you're human, some folk you will click with, and some you won't. It's not even a malicious thing; and, technically, no drama even has to be involved in that process of figuring out who you gel with, and _owning_ that (though many will insist so). People self-selecting their social circles is just a thing that *happens* . Now, if you unleash your creativity, and present an even more authentic face to your audience, then, yes. You will lose subscribers. But I'mma wager that you will stand out more and gain a bunch of subscribers, too -- ones that are even more on your particular wavelength. And that those new followers will be more loyal, more authentically supportive; and will form a more vibrant and cohesive community around you and around each other, than if you continue to try to be as likable for as many people as possible. And that community can be there to help with any of the problematic behaviors and attitudes that will inevitably crop up as your channel becomes more known and interacted with. ((One could even view it as the reason why humans have the concept of genres at all? This person might enjoy horror, while another person who hates horror will look for a comedy instead. This other person over here, might like *both* horror and comedy. But the only reason all three persons know where to go for their favored entertainment style is because the artists are authentic in their creative process and honest when they present and advertise their work.))
I think anyone who has any insecurity about something they privately enjoy can relate to a lot of these feelings. I'm not sure if this would help you any, but if you're interested in some "exposure therapy" of sorts, I would look up the video "Top 10 Reasons I Won't Do ASMR" by Jenny Nicholson. As a huge ASMR enthusiast, I watched it as a bit of a challenge for myself to see if I could handle the "critique" of something that I thoroughly adore. Jenny is a pretty well-known UA-camr and is valued for her reasonable commentary, so I knew I wasn't diving into a video by anyone hateful. It was a good exercise for me, because I think it probably is a good representation of the viewpoint of someone who just "doesn't get it." For that reason, it's uncomfortable to hear because she's judging me, but also showed me that getting judged like that isn't THAT bad after all. Your mileage may vary, but for me it was much much worse to imagine those criticisms, than to actually hear them. I recommend it!
oof, yes it's harsh isn't it! But it's a good critique as you said. We need to hear stuff like this, so we can disagree, ignore, reassess and make ASMR anyway. :-)
@@ASMRMuzz Yes, agreed! Our online world is such a hotbed of negative opinions everywhere, and I really don't like it. But I want to participate in it, so I'm constantly trying to figure out how better to handle everything. With that video: now that I've heard these attitudes I can really evaluate them and compose my own counterpoints for them. I was relieved to find that they didn't change my authentic feelings about ASMR either. Sometimes social pressures can affect my own attitudes, and I'm trying to work on that too. 💪
*I WAS SCARED AS WELL, BUT NOW I DON’T GIVE A THING OF WHAT THEY COULD SAY ABOUT ME. IT’S MY LIFE SO I’LL BE DOING WHAT I WANT SINCE I AM NOT DOING SOMETHING ILLEGAL OR BAD.* 💪🏼
I don't know if there's a step by step method to actually undo the innate fear of judgement that comes with being a human being. But I think the real question is, are you enjoying yourself? Do you get excited about these videos that remain unlisted before and while making them? The way you've seemed so far, it seems like you genuinely enjoy this, which makes a lot of sense for an actor. But if it feels more like a scary obligation than something that genuinely excites you, perhaps it's worth reassessing. Of course we all want you to keep making videos and keep making them public. But what you want is the main factor here. I'm obviously dealing with this on a much smaller scale since I have a lot less subscribers, but this feeling has come up in conversation with my close friends. I was stressing the other day about a video idea and how it might come across and my friend told me point blank, "you can just do things because you enjoy them. This doesn't have to be career related (since I'm in film) or about gaining subscribers. Would it be fun for you to make this video or not?" And that's what I've started asking myself, which is why I'm going to lean more into weird videos-- because screw it! This whole thing is just supposed to be fun, and at best, relaxing. People who look down at unapologetically vulnerable things like ASMR videos are really and truly on some level envious, not because they want to be a famous ASMRtist, but because it takes guts to create something that reveals some truth of yourself and to share it with the world. On UA-cam for gods sake, how brave is that? And the best part is, people are drawn to that vulnerability, and that authenticity. It makes for better content. I certainly subscribed to you for your more "out there" videos. But the way I see it, it would still be worth making these more vulnerable, more exposed videos even if that weren't the case, as long as it remains something fun and passionate for you, subscribers/family/friends be damned.
God I love this comment, I love all of it! Absolutely agree with you. I think I definitely lost track of the 'why' I started this channel and got caught up in the analytics and growth part of it.
This makes me sad cuz I have so much respect and admiration for you! But I also feel like I identify with this so much. I recently got my PhD in a science and just got to choose between job offers....yet I don't feel confident in my abilities as a scientist or in my ideas and interpretations. I do highly recommend (and someone else said it too) Daring Greatly....but I need to relisten to it myself. I soooo hope you find that freedom to be fully creative in your own way! Try to obsess over the supportive comments and not the judgemental possibilities! Remember, Spock never cared what Bones thought of him 😉
in order to eliminate your fear of judgement you have to be secure with yourself, i would suggest trying to understand what you don’t like about yourself what you’re ashamed of and improve on those aspects or accept what you cannot change. Honestly i think that you also have to keep telling and convince yourself to not give a fuck about any bodies opinion of what you like to do because at the end of the day they’re just opinions and people are really only worried about their own faults. Insecure people nag on other insecure people to feel better about themselves. Change you are, improve, learn about stoicism and other philosophies and implement them in your life. They were created to improve mankind. Maybe even take some magic mushrooms to expand your mind about the world(although i’m not encouraging substance use it has potential to improve your life, do ur research) but just try things and habits to improve yourself because your overall health effects your mind. that’s my two cents, hope it helps. get back to me on anything.
i applaud your bravery as a man to accept your dilema, and be truthful to all of us. If you think people are gonna think about you as weird or whatever they can fuck off because all of us are here for YOU. We enjoy the content you put out regardless of what anybody else says. Don’t do it for them, do it for yourself and the people who support you. Those of us who know, know.
You might consider watching some of the videos on the YT channel "The School of Life". For example, search for the video "Why We Worry All the Time and How to Cope". I've found their videos to be very useful.
I hear you. That fear of being judged is part of the human condition I'm pretty sure, haha. I write a weekly webcomic, and EVERY week my finger hesitates over the "publish" button because I worry that everyone is going to hate this update for one reason or another. What kind of acting did you do before, if you don't mind me asking?
Wild right? like, who the hell are you to create that webcomic??? It's absurd. But that's how we often think. I acted in a couple of films when I lived in NZ, plus a music video and a few other things. (scared to post my iMDB because of the topic of the video....isn't that absurd) but see if you can spot me in this one. ua-cam.com/video/ZX5WwRv9E-8/v-deo.html
@@ASMRMuzz Oh, yeah, you're in there a bunch of times. Awesome! One more thing I wanted to share is a paraphrase from "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck" by Mark Manson. He said something along the lines that it's impossible to make a meaningful difference in the lives of ONE group of people without being laughed at by another. I've definitely gotten some less than kind comments on my project, but show me a creator in any field who HASN'T. Haha. Plus the kindness people have shown me greatly outweighs it. Alright, sorry for rambling, haha. Have a good one bud.
it's a shame there seems to be a stigma around ASMR. Especially when most the criticism usually tends to be directed at the more "erotic" side of the spectrum. But ASMR comes in all shapes and styles so it's wrong to lump the entity all into the same basket. With that said, people also need to just educate themselves on it, it's really not that weird of a thing if you look past the clickbait cringe.
LOL I can't believe you of all people are worried about Judgement! I mean, everyone has worried about judgement, and I totally believe that you worry about judgement, but every video you keep up every day proves how much little you care about judgement! You don't go back and delete all your videos, restart your channel like MANY ASMRist have. Say a video you produce, you don't like it, it feels too personal, I think that is okay to not have it published, too... but your example you gave probably would help other people, help them manage their anxiety also, even if it was secretly your story (Plus, I mean, we don't know that.. maybe your wife, people back home in Scotland where you grew up... but you are half-way around the world from those old people, and I'm sure your wife has seen you worse). I know it's never helpful to say this but you already know and have the answers to your own problems, maybe a book could help, but I think you probably don't need it. I think one of the few facts of life I learned from High School (lol) is that everyone lacks some kind of confidence, or feels like they lack in something in some way, when they sniff out something they think is "uncool" or "weird" your own reaction dictates permission to them on how cool something actually is. I remember in high school, it was a time when Pokemon wasn't something as cool to others, a period when it was looked at as "for kids and babies" (some short period), and one of my groups of friends saw me playing it during school. I was honest and upfront about my enthusiasm, and was able to inspire their recollection of love for it by talking about the game (Which to be honest, at the time I was playing on an emulator for the 3rd games before they came out, but some fans had made an english patch), soon enough Pokemon was the hit thing again at my high school and I had about half our campus playing with me or talking about the properties during our breaks (For about a year, we had a lot of distractions in high school). I'm not a super confident person, people who work with me, but aren't one of my closest friends or family, probably think otherwise of me, but you have to fake it to make it, and being able to communicate your passions is one way to fake it. I also know what you already know, we can only control so much, and what others value for their approval is so arbitrary and individual that you can't just go around pleasing everyone. You can do what you can to please yourself, make the content that you already know attracted you supporters (still try out new ideas, but let it be something that you love too), and people probably will come. I guess there are no guarantees they can come, and knowing you put in all this work, despite everything!.., seemingly to never get a play button would suck, but it wouldn't be that you wasted all your time as I guarantee your ASMR has already helped plenty of people big and small. I know it has helped me, I would probably have gone nuts going through all these years without the ASMR channels I subscribe to and the videos I look forwards to including yours as well as this community (I mean it's been a stressful 4 years, particularly increasing so each year, lol, not to get political). I guess my point is that you can't worry about having control over everyone's reactions and just have confidence in the work that you put out and that your intentions for each video set your approval. Everyone else is going to just do whatever they were going to do anyways. (I get that it is different when you have a family and responsibilities to them, but I think the facts still won't change that there isn't really anything extra you can control about it, so you have to release yourself from those worries) I'll take my $100, now! (I'm joking! Don't put a bounty on self help like this! We shouldn't want to get paid to get motivated to help you, in fact, anyone that listens that far into the video almost certainly already has your support and back and would help you for free! $100, you must have been going through these troubles for real today! I can relate, but I think, even from the little I actually know of you, that you already have the tools to solve this problem, and probably are just going through a process many others go through as well, on their right path to solving it too)
Holy shit! I should pay you $100 just for writing that epic comment! Thanks Poke, this is really helpful. I know it all to be true and you are right, I already have these tools. I think I just needed to vent it all out, get it out into the universe and see where all the pieces land. We are only here for a short time so who realy gives a fk anyway right? I just have to keep telling myself that!
I totally understand your hesitations. I hope you do what’s best for you. I happen to really enjoy your videos.
Thank you so much!
ASMR is fairly mainstream these days, e.g. used to sell things, I think that any stigma of belonging to the ‘whispering community’ is a thing of the past. Your lack of confidence in your work is a human condition commonly found in thoughtful and sensitive people and dare I say is also prevalent in the Scottish working class psyche, where taking the pish is our national pastime and being open to something new and nurturing artistic expression is a minority sport. The super confidence expressed by our transatlantic cousins is alien to our culture. For me the closest have we have to that level of confidence is reserved for toffs whose sense of entitlement is bred into them, reinforced by their private education and facilitated by the class system.
I might not be a typical ASMR consumer, but for me the content is secondary to the delivery; timbre of voice, pace of delivery and personality of the artist are more important. I have even been known to watch ASMR about things I find objectionable e.g. Reiki, Christian ASMR, post1969 Star Trek! Keep up the good work and fake it ‘til you make it.
Mate you fkn nailed it. It's an unfortunate downside of the culture I'm sure. But I'm going to keep on doing it...in a way I hope all my fear would materialise, then I can get it out into the open and get over it. :-)
It's quite sad that some people can still find ASMR something to make fun of. We as creators should NEVER have to feel embarrassed by what we do and if those FOOLS can't accept us then that's their problem. All love man and I hope you can get back on track soon 💙
Crazy right? I 100% admire you for doing your thing dude! You already exude a confidence that I hugely admire and I'm taking inspiration from that!
You guys have to understand too that not everyone is going to like your work and you have to accept that. It's ok to not like everyone and what they do, just like you don't. Calling them a "fool" doesn't make you look any better or indeed affects their intellect. I don't support bullying or harassment but these days many people have a very swayed peception of the difference between that and constructive criticism.
I'm in exactly the same place. My channel is still pretty small but I do dread negative comments because I'm too sensitive. I say, just go for it and throw yourself into it. I regard you as an established ASMR channel now so you should do what you like. Imposter syndrome is the worst thing ever! Unleash the best! Do it!!!
Yeah what is it about all that? I don't really mind the negative comments as such... but my mind puts images of my family or others watching my videos with a raised eyebrow and judgemental eye. It's all in my head, but it can be crippling at times.
Thanks man! We can do this!
Thank you for sharing this lovely, vulnerable video. I think ASMR is becoming a lot more mainstream. People do joke about it . . . but, at the same time, they like it and listen to it. ASMR is, generally, a genre that calls for the vulnerability of the creator, and that’s why it’s so special and wonderful. It’s a service, is partly how I think of it. A helping profession. Through your own softening and vulnerability, you create a safe space for your viewers. I feel like it’s more accepted for women to be soft and vulnerable, so it’s especially important that men like you create ASMR. You’re showing that there’s a powerful masculine force that works through channels of compassion. I really appreciate and admire that. It’s bold.
And please, please, please read “Daring Greatly” by Brene Brown. It focuses on exactly what you’re dealing with.
Sorry! So many messages. I’m just really excited for you because you’re going to do even more amazing things than ever, and I can’t wait to see what they are!
Thank you for this comment! Yes I think you are 100% right about the soft / vulnerable vs masculine parts of ASMR. I do have trouble with that and often feel very self-conscious as I am filming and I think that is obvious on screen. Thank you so much for your kinds support!
I think I'm right there with you, I know I am constantly afraid of criticism and I take steps to try to become smaller or less noticeable to try and protect myself from that negativity.
But with that being said, as someone who is on the outside looking in and participating in your community, I really really appreciate and admire all that you've accomplished. Your ASMR has also really helped me relaxed in these scary, self-conscious situations. If there's anything I can say to you, it's that you positively affect so many people's lives, so even if one or two people take something away that's negative, the vast majority love and appreciate your hard work and content.
Thank you so much Aidan!! You are such a kind supporter , I really appreciate you kind words!
I feel inspired when I see someone who is afraid of judgment or retaliation reach for their goals and live their authentic life. Thank you for putting yourself out there
You know what I admire the most about you? You're afraid of doing stuff and at the same time you grit your teeth and share your fears/worries with brutal honesty :)
Thank you!!!!! :-)
Totally relatable. For the first year or so I didn’t show my face or tell my name so no one would ever be able to prove it was me irl. I decided that when I got to 100k I would show my face because I would be successful and it wouldn’t be anything to be embarrassed of at that point. Soon I realized that I would never get to 100k and went ahead and showed my face. I still fear being found and judged but I’ll cross that bridge if it happens. 💕
Oh god, exactly the same mentality here. Like once you get to an arbitrary point, you are now a legitimate artist and it's ok.
Some of your videos are in my 'favorite ASMR videos' playlist, for example the tribble microphone video. Long time ago when I first heard of ASMR I may have thought it was a little strange, but of course I eventually went back to it and found it relaxing.
To me it's all in the intentions. If an ASMRtist is whispering quietly into a microphone, some might think its weird. But to me all I see is a person who is genuinely trying help people relax and/or sleep. If people find it strange, personaly I just think thats because they dont understand the intentions.
I can imagine it would be rough to be an older male in the HEAVILY female based ASMR community, and I can definetly understand how it would feel to be in the minority. But I personaly believe your videos are some of the most genuine ASMR videos out there, and that's probably partly because you still make them, and put yourself out there even though you are afraid of judgement.
I'm pretty sure thats the definition of courage.
Thank you so much for that! I do feel like an odd fish sometimes, but I'm normally ok with that too :-)
I TOTALLY understand your reason why you are afraid to to ASMR videos. Your voice is AMAZING and this is what UA-cam needs. DON’T STOP!!!!! You will go far on this platform.
A fantastic person once told me to lean into discomfort. That is how I try to approach new challenge.
I've only just started my asmr journey and the fear is driving me to keep trying!
can't please everyone.
We are all weird together, in our own special ways! ✨🤗✨
you know, there are times where I become super self-conscious as a consumer of these videos and commenting. I worry about what other people are judging in my comment or liking it or not so I can't even imagine being at the forefront aka the spotlight of this all and how it could not make you a little uneasy.
For what it's worth, I appreciate your candor and honesty. I do hope you have more fun doing this rather than not... Otherwise what would be the point? I'm glad to have you as a resource though.
Thank you Jen!
I totally understand where you're coming from, I watched ASMR in secret for years because it felt like it was regarded by the general public to be weird/kinky. But just yesterday I read in a major online magazine where they referred to an ASMRtist as an ASMR Influencer...like it's finally being normalized and recognized as a legitimate art form and relaxation therapy. I would recommend checking out Carol Tuttle; her book Mastering Affluence was a life changer for me. I hope 2021 is your year to release the fear and be 100% comfortable with yourself...because 16,000 subscribers think you're awesome😉
I related to this video more than any other medium, whether that be another ASMR video, a speech, a lecture, or podcast-I’ve never listening or read anything that hit closer to home than this. This is unfiltered. This is honest.
I love your channel already, and I just need to say thank you for putting this out there. I wish I had a video that’d help you get over your fear of failure and be free, I really do. But this, this is my video that helped me get into a mindset of overcoming my own fear of judgement and people seeing imperfection. I’d resend a link of this goddamn video but that’s corny as hell. So thank you. Thank you so much, and I hope you overcome your inner demons.
Thank you for that awesome comment! I love it when people can relate to this stuff!
Dude you are awesome and your ASMR videos are very unique. Please keep up the great work. Been a fan for well over a year now.
You don‘t see bigger ASMR channels talk about these problems, because they have gotten enough confirmation over the time and thus, are more resistant to the tiny amount of negative comments that are bound to be written. I can relate to you in a personal way because I‘m autistic and have always had problems with (mostly social) anxiety. A big problem for me was always going to parties and other social gatherings, as it felt like everybody was hostile towards me. I never immediately got that much confirmation and gratification from jumping over my own shadow, but in the end it has always paid off. Over the time I learned that my fears are irrational, but it took time. If there is a magic trick that takes away ones problems, it’s basically time itself. I learned to not expect immediate change, but to focus on subtle changes for the better, instead, which kept me going. Maybe you can understand my view of things.
Also, is it toward or towards here? I‘m a native German speaker and mix the two words up quite frequently, because we just use the same word for both.
I found that whenever I feel a burst of energy, or have an exciting new idea - just like you described from years ago, when you started off - I get to work right away, or at least write down the ideas and what excites me. And later I do it. And throw it out into the ether. Because really - at the end of the day, it all comes down to is what makes YOU happy. yer personality and joy are drawing people it - ive been your sub for such a long time now, and im here to see you blossom. the doubt and hesitation is perfectly normal, we all get that no matter what job we're doing, but yer only here for a limited time - and its precious. i cannae wait to see you crack the shell and rise above it all. in many videos i already saw it, and keep seeing it - so its obviously there!
and ps: people who dont like personal attention videos are the real weirdos ;)
I'm not sure what can be said to lay you completely to ease, but if you have gotten something out of this thing you have made, these gifts to us, then I pray you continue to pursue what you enjoy, if for no one's benefit but your own
I think you're doing amazing man. I love your content and everything you do. keep being you and doing what you think is good. :D
Being judged is the worst. I've always worried about being mocked. I can't change any of that. I can say this. I don't suffer from my ptsd, insomnia, or anxiety. I'm tormented by it. My time in Scotland and Ireland and overall Europe. The accent is soothing and calming and if you're reading a book or a role play. It quickly brings me to my favorite places and sounds of where I wish I were. Thank you for what you do.
I used to watch big clive videos for asmr before I found you. The accent and voice brought me, but these personal videos are the best.
I found your channel after seeing you in “The Gentlemen” ASMR collab. I thought and continue to think you are tremendously entertaining. Posting on UA-cam leaves you open to near instant commentary … good and bad. Putting yourself out there can be difficult even for famous entertainers (the amazing Barbra Streisand has stage fright) I love your frankness and your imagination. I hope you continue make content, ASMR or otherwise.
I will keep going for sure! I just want to be free of the judgement monster so that I can make 10x more content! Thank you so much for your kind words!!
Lord I have had the exact same journey as you into ASMR. I started making videos based on sounds then fell into role plays which I find easier to do. Like just having a basic script I can improvise around seemed more comfortable for me. And I'm not an actor, I don't even think I'm good at it. But I tell myself that it's the ASMR that comes first so if it relaxes people then it doesn't matter how good the acting is.
My heart goes out to you cause I've had all the same insecurities about making videos. I've tried lately to just be open about my channel. And the reactions have been just like you said, some folk say weird but cool, good for you. Some really dig it. I'm starting to not worry as much and I don't know how. It's like I'm starting to get into my head that if I make what I want and people don't like it, I've actually done something brave and that's an amazing thing to be able to do in life. Good lord I could go on all day. May have to DM you haha.
I hear you pal! I wonder if it's often a Scottish thing, always worried about what the neighbours will think, not wanting our family name to be 'mud' haha. Whatever it is, its deeply programmed in the old noodle, but we keep fighting it off and create what we want anyway right!?
Just discovered you. I'm Scottish too. Your voice is very relaxing. Don't let self doubt get you down, if people have problems it's THEIR problem.
Thank you pal! I appreciate that! 'mon the Scots!
@@ASMRMuzz nae worries bud. We defo need more Scottish representation on here 😀Just do what makes you happy and comfy and don't let the bastards grind ye down !
I’ll never forget the conversation that I had with my Mum about ASMR. She was very confused about what it was until I mentioned that it wasn’t all that different to the “Calm” app that she uses to get to sleep by listening to their “sleep stories”. And I bet that would be the case for most people since everyone has a way to calm themselves whether it’s through ASMR, Sleep Stories or meditation. And if you want to feel better about yourself, just know that many respected people have tried their hand at ASMR under the guise of “Sleep Stories”. Even a cursory glance at the Calm UA-cam page showed me that Stephen Fry, LeVar Burton and Laura Dern have all spoken softly into a microphone to help people get to sleep. So you’re in good company Muzz!
This is true pal! Once explained properly, it's a perfectly understandable thing and most people should get it... !
I personally find it interesting to hear about what the artist behind the videos goes through. I think it is a nice way to connect to your audience. Your voice is so relaxing no matter what you talk about and I love this openness and authenticity. A big thumbs up from me. Wishing you all that is good.
After over four years on YT, I've never felt like I've ever been legitimate. After passing milestones, that fear never abated. I make enough on YT to pay my bills, and it still didn't seem to matter, I still felt just weird and out of place. I've found a few things that have helped somewhat: 1. No matter what I do, I will be judged. Whether I do what I want or play it safe, it will be judged and I have no control over that. However, I'd rather be judged for doing the shit that I love than not. 2. My therapist has talked with me about not running away from these feelings, these fears because I will just always be running away. However, I can just sit with them, notice them, let them be there and not fight against them, and just open myself up to that. It's hard, it sucks, but accepting that instead of running away from those feelings has helped. 3. I find I'm getting too old to not just say, "fuck it." I'd rather do what I want and regret it later on than not do anything and regret it later. At least I did the thing, you know? Anyways, I wish the best for you on your journey and hope you can find something that brings you peace ❤
Wow Calliope!
Well done on pushing through and building an amazing channel, I watch your stuff all the time and see you as a confident, established artist. Funny how our mind might not see it that way. Totally agree on that philosophy too, just need to keep affirming that we do what we want, no regrets.
You’re so great.. I did ASMR UA-cam videos for a little over a year and had the same fears.. I ended up deleting my channel and now I wish I didn’t. Don’t let anyone make you feel strange. It’s helping so many people relax and fall asleep (who naturally may not get much of) If it makes a difference, I’m dozing off thanks to you. One Insomniac appreciates you being on here at least 😉 let yourself feel confident about what you’re doing. Fuck those who are close minded to it.
This is such a real place for creators to be. All art has an autobiographical component. It takes us to a place where we can be really raw even if we didn't intend to be. It is human to want to be accepted. I do not think it is something that we can remove from our lives. What we can control is to act from a place of openness to others. Lean on the tight community that you have created and the trusted inner circle. Be as creative as you want. 16,100 of us are here for you. - Butters
Thank you Butters! Overwhelmed by the positive response from all this!
Your channel is honestly a wonderful thing. You have such a relaxing voice and personally you are really comforting. I love the Scottish representation too of course, so thank you for what you do x 🏴✨
Thank you so much!
I feel this way a lot as a viewer, I have never told anyone I watch ASMR for fear of being judged. I do feel it is still quite stigmatized. Though it continues to gain popularity, so obviously I must know people who watch it 😄 I saw a video a while ago where a creator said that the decisions we make should be in our own best interest; make yourself your own priority. It sounds selfish, but even if we’re in relationships or have other responsibilities, the better we focus on our own happiness the better equipped we are to be present in those relationships. The creator framed it in that if you make your content for you (and not your audience or other external folk), over time that confidence grows larger than the fear of judgment over something people won’t likely judge you for anyway :)
I admire your vulnerability. It makes you special. I was a bullied kid and to some extent, people still single me out for keeping true to my integrity and principles or art form, even if goes against the status quo.
I hope you don't continue to feel hesitant or paralyzed due to fear of judgment. So many people, myself included find you to be incredibly unique, special and enjoyable.
Self-consciousness is a normal part of a performer's or artist's journey. I know it's easier said than done, but I find it best to concern myself as little as possible with other people's opinions. As an actor myself and. Filmmaker, it's something I've wrestled with and letting go of the value of opinions was the best gift I gave myself. Which isn't to say I don't value feedback or constructive criticism.
You have always been legit to me from the get go. I love your work, your humor and you're a great actor. Your work means a lot to me and I love that you can also share your feelings and thoughts to us. You are a man of substance and it is a pleasure to be your fan.
"Failure" is subjective if not a beautiful teacher to grow from. That's very fortune cookie like but very accurate. Once you can learn to abandon that notion. You'll feel so much better. Taking risks is a part of it. You have a lot of people who love you. Appreciate you. But at the end of the day, all that matters is your love of what you do.
It's going to take some deep inner work and a process, but if you're determined to grow and feel better, You will. The best way to "belong" whatever that means anyway, is to be authentic. You're amazing and you have my support. ❤
Lito
Thank you jadewizard, this is amazing. Thank you for taking the time to write all of this!
I feel you. I am no creator but this fear of being judged- I'm so very familiar with that too. Making and airing this video probably wasn't easy and took you some courage so thank you for your courage and thank you for your honesty. 💙
You do cool, funny, relaxing and beautiful stuff that helps people to ease their stress, insomnia or anxiety and that's a wonderful thing to do, something to be proud of. Also, in the end it's YOUR channel so you can do what the beep you want, you don't have to justify yourself to anyone. If you make videos just because it's fun making them- so what? There's nothing wrong with it, not at all. If you decide to do non-ASMR- there's nothing wrong with that either. Just do whatever you feel like! 💙💛
Thanks pal!!
Always love your videos, nice voice paired with a nice personality! Understand the fear of ridicule but were always here to defend ya
Thank you kindly!
You don’t sound ridiculous. You go with your heart. I personally love your channel. I think we all have a fear of being judged. I know I do, but I now tend to say “f*** it” because life is too short not to live it and so what we love no matter what others believe or say. I also look at it as it’s their perception which is their problem for not understanding (which is not your problem). Keep on keepin’ on 💕💕💕
Yeah the older I get the more inclined I am to say 'f*** it' which is why I started the channel, but the judgment is like one of the last piece s of the puzzle to truly feel free to create. Thank you!
Hey, just wanted to say that your videos have gotten me through some anxious times and help me fall asleep. I work in healthcare and it’s really difficult to fall asleep some days/nights. I think your videos have a positive impact on people’s lives whether you know it or not. It’s difficult to shake off perceptions and judgement sometimes. I think if you enjoy making asmr and can stand beside your work, support will follow. I think your subscribers can attest that your videos are great and that they help bring a sense of calm as well.
Thank you so much and its really lovely to hear that my videos have had a positive impact on you!
We don’t know you, we don’t have any right to judge. We are WATCHING and consuming your content, so most of us love it. The select few that wanna bully and troll are people who are just mad that they don’t have the guts to chase their dreams. Please don’t be embarrassed or discouraged, if it makes you happy, do it. If it’s any validation, we LOVE your videos. It’s not too seductive or weird, we love the vulnerability. People who judge you are honestly insecure and I hope they get better. But you? Do you, it’s okay to be close. It’s okay to be real. I wish every human could be this personal
Oh wow, thank you for your kind words Ali!!!
I think when we put these fears on the table like this, it can make them a lot less ...feared. Hopefully this was like a therapy session for you to just talk about it! also Very relatable! I enjoy real videos like this!
Absolutely it was!!!
Do what’s best for you, if you’re in the mood to make a video then we will all be here to watch and support you. You’re definitely conflicted, so take some time to work things out. Be happy my friend.
Express yourself! There’ll always be people who judge, but they will be outnumbered by people that gravitate towards you being you. Maybe not at first, maybe you will lose subs, but eventually it will fly. Your ASMR is class, imagine it with the shackles off!
Cheers James!! With the shackles off, I feel like I could soar!
I say got for it!! Make what you want the weirder the better. You have seen my channel 🤣. I don't have any books but if you do find books or link send them my way too
Thank you Jodie!! Yes weirder the better, I sometimes get that confidence and creative urge at the same time, that's usually when I make some good (and often weird) videos! I just need to harness it more and keep the judgemental tiger at bay.
Wow, I can so relate to this! I spend my entire life afraid of judgement, all the way down to writing this comment. Will I sound stupid? Am I wasting your time reading it? Who am I to think you care about what I say? Thanks for saying these things, it really is better knowing you’re not alone.
Wow and I didn't even reply! I hear you Sunny, thanks for sharing your thoughts! :-)
As a radio presenter I feel judged every time I’m on air and that’s never changed over thirty years, and probably never will! Truth is I’m the one doing most of the judging in my head. My advice is just do what you feel and you can’t go wrong, it’s helped me. Constructive feedback is good, but ignore the rest. You can never please everyone all the time, but the people who follow you / listen like what you do, we’re all friends here :-) I’m here for your rambles, so no bother about them either!
Thank you Stuart! This is encouraging to hear. I don't mind the fear of it, but when it actually stops me from creating it becomes a blockage. I'm glad I made this video, so I can read comments like yours!
That sucks! We do some people still hate on others just because they don't share the same opinion?! Be strong, we are beside you! We love your videos, don't let haters bring you down.
And if you want to take a break, just do what's best for you. We won't leave! 🤍
I can relate to your thoughts again. I have the same problem with my music in a way. everytime I made something new that is somehow weird or different, I begin to think what my relatives or people around me in general think of it. Now days I just think to my self that I was brang up to this world without my own consent so why would I stop my self from doing something I love and I'm good at doing. Also its the fear of being abandonned really to think that now that ppl think Im weird for creating something like this, they're not gonna wanna be around me, which is just bullshit and if something. They should be jealous and impressed that you have that kind of a power to show your real self to the world and not give a shit about what others think!
Love these realtalk vids btw. Take care mate.
Thanks pal! Crazy that it's all programmed in our head. I mean, who cares....we make what we make and that's awesome.
Happy to have stumbled upon a Scottish ASMRtist. Looking forward to working my way through your videos ❤️
Thank you!! I hope you like em. :-)
I AM here to listen to this kind of thing. You're my favorite ASMR content creator. Fuck I should be on your patreon. Gonna remedy that soon.
Thank you so much Alison. :-)
I'm sorry to hear about your crisis of faith. I don't think there's any way to truly defend against negative receptions/judgements, especially in this day and age where so much of it is rendered loudly and often in bad faith. Still love your work, Muzz and I hope you continue to produce content into the future. And if you don't, then I'll be thinking positively about you either way.
Thank you for your refreshing honesty. 🙂
I totally relate, you're definitely not alone in this 🤗
I'm glad to hear this! Even though I don't want you feeling judged either! But it's nice to know others go through the same :)
It's not about reading. It's about doing it. Fearing it, but doing it anyway, and THEN.... seeing what happens.
It's being afraid, facing those fears, telling yourself Yeah, but probably that WONT happen, and MAYBE...... something really cool will happen!
It's about self talk that CHALLENGES those anxious inner voices with logic.
It is CBT: Cognitive Behavioural Therapy.
And you know what? This right here is step one! Admitting, out loud, what it is you're afraid of. So take the next step! I'd hold your hand if I could! :)
I think you’re daein’ just dandy there, man! In my main job, I have to be seen to be online and I get loads of abusive comments and emails from trolls, and at first it’s a bit of a shock, but now I can honestly truly say I do not care one wee jot and I carry on living my life and earning my keep. Just you carry on with your own life, you have plenty supporters here!
Thank you! That actually really helps just hearing that!
There are gonna be people who stigmatize ASMR, but you can ignore those people. Not everyone is going to give you feedback that is relevant to your growth. If they’re going to make fun of you over it then they are the one who have issues. You being comfortable with the content you’re making is super important.
You are afraid of doing things and at the same time you share your worries and fears with honesty. Please feel hugged. There will always someone who jugde you for something bc you don't fit in their world(s) but don't let them be your inner voice. Your videos are great. I often wish I just could sit with you on a porch for a chat bc I love your voice. I understand your hesitations but don't let other unimportant people, who maybe know nothing about you and your family be the reason to stop you. You've came to far in live to let strange people decide how to live your life.
Thank you so much friend!
Dear Muzz, I don't want to win the money, but I can really recommend you a book on Stoic philosophy that also helped me a lot in my life since I've got in touch with it. It is called "How to think like a Roman Emperor" by Donald Robertson and is a great introduction to this topic. One of the basic ideas of Stoics is that you need to meditate on the question, of which things are in your control (e.g. your intentions, will, effort) and which things aren't (e.g. if your healthy, if you have material wealth, what others think about you...). Following from these meditations about things we crave or worry about, we should be able to recognize what is actually external to us and therefore not under our control. If something is not in our control, we therefore shouldn't worry about it, since it isn't really up to us, no matter how much we fear someting or wish something to happen. Of course this is a very abridged input on stoicism and I am usually not someone that writes comments on UA-cam, but I think this could actually help. I hope, that you do what feels right to you. Thank you for all the great videos you've done until now!
I love it! Reminds me of the Locus of Control idea, which I also love.
@@ASMRMuzz Exactly! :)
You don't have to be afraid of what you love. There will always be people who don't understand what you do. There will always be haters. But you don't need to worry about them, because they are just a dustings in you galaxy. You should concentrate to those people you can reach with your voice and your stories.
Go on with what you love. It is a pleasure for me, to listen to you.
Greatings from Germany 👋🏻😊
Thank you! I will!
Nassau Coliseum in NY has a seating capacity of 16.1K.
Google a pic of it full of people.
Every time fear treads on your creativity, look at that picture.
Every person in the image is one of your subscribers.
We like what you do and want to see more.
UNLEASH IT!
Wow Spluck! Yes, THANK YOU!! I am doing this right now!
I really get your worries. They're the reason I haven't started my own ASMR channel yet although I have wanted to do so for years. My family (and some friends) might judge me, especially since most people think it's a sexual thing (I mean there is ASMR tagged porn out there...) I am excited to see what you'll come up with in the future!
Thank you!!!
I think you are great, I love the accent and I understand feeling hesitant about stuff and I'm working on that too. But know that you have people who think you are wonderful!
Thank you so much, I really appreciate that!
I like listening to you talking about these things. If I found a good book I will surely let you know👍😄
I feel this, as do pretty much all artists, I think which is so sad and weird to think of. I watched this TED Talk (ua-cam.com/video/h7v-GG3SEWQ/v-deo.html) about impostor syndrome and she says the body can't tell the difference between fear and excitement so just tell yourself you're excited instead until you believe it :) Also, talking it out and being real and open like you're doing and have been doing, that's really major I think. Best wishes, man, and keep doing what you're doing!
Hello, I've been a long-time watcher for ages, and I really wanna say, if you're feeling embarrassed that your content could leak into your personal-life or effect the lives of others in your life, I'd have to say I completely understand that. I wish I had words of advice to give you, I'm sure your comments will be filled to the brim with supportive and much wiser subscribers.
I just want to let you know, We all completely understand if it takes you awhile before you upload any other video from now on, just know we love you, and support you.
P.S I absolutely dote over the Scottish. Every time you speak I just get put in a trance, I could listen to you go on about almost anything for centuries.
Thank you so much Katie! No worries here, I am still making videos, especally after getting all that off my chest! :-)
"The secret of love is in opening up your heart. It's ok to feel afraid, but don't let it stand in your way." -James Taylor
I don't really get much from traditional relaxation stuff
I mean yeah I look at them occasionally but they don't give me the same affect as tingles and the overall relaxtion immersion of ASMR
It's very very tough to keep up your confident an creative momentum
With SOCIETY
An all its terrible anxieties
If your not on Tik Tok or using this or interested in this or that X Y an Z...
There's something wrong with you...
I consider it a highly Introvert community /domain
Ooh you like that ASMR weird whispering? .... See ya haha
Keep it up you've plenty of fans ❤️🏴
Take your time with your content no matter how long or short😊
Thank you Shane!!
@@ASMRMuzz 😊🖖❤️🏴
I've struggled my whole life with what can only be termed "crippling anxiety" (diagnosed GAD: Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and Social Anxiety). IT's taken to this RIPE old age (older than ye might think!) to find proper meds that work well etc and now FINALLY it's much much better. :) But yeah I still get that feeling sometimes and typically tell myself "What's the worst that can happen"? And just do it. I do have kids, one is 15. Buuutttt.... everyone already knows I'm a bit.... eccentric heh so I just roll with it. :P
Good for you for doing it Rayne! I love the attitude. I too have the GAD...I often forget about it as it has just become a normal part of life.
@@ASMRMuzz Right? IT's just something we live with. Luckily for me I got some help- medicine but also years upon years of therapy, heh :) I like to say than nowadays I'm fairly decent at "logic(ing) my way out of it". ;) Lots of self talk about how things are more likely to NOT go wrong, etc. ;)
I always had more trouble with "anticipatory anxiety" than I did with actually dealing with the feared situation itself. Go figure. :)
You can do it!
I’ve long stopped wondering what the current ‘cool’/‘trendy’ thing to be is. Bitcoin nerds ten years ago are now hailed as prophets. Gamers, once social recluses, are now central to pop culture. Rather than FOMO into what is ‘cool’, I say stick to being an outlier and watch the world catch up :)
I love that!
I feel like that's something NZ taught me. I think I'm yo-yo(ing) between huge surges of confidence and then underlying issues of self-confidence and fear.
Totally agree with you though, lead the way and let the world catch up, fkn love that.
I'm of the belief that the more popular channels are linked to promoting or selling something one way or another. This sounds like I'm minimizing the effort people make, but the idea that I'm trying to share is a direction which you can take if you're interested in hitting big numbers.
I can relate to the enthusiasm at the beginning and making like 5 videos in a night!!!!
lol Tim hortons - don’t worry all the Canadians know this isn’t product placement there are Tims everywhere we all drink it right??
thanks pal and yes, Tim's is everywhere omg.
I sort of have a similar problem but it is more about creative procrastination than embarrassment. But I did find a video that helps me and maybe there's something in it that might help you. I will share it on the patreon discord.
I love that video you posted on Discord!!
@@ASMRMuzz it also really helps me finish projects I have abandoned
^^; Ahhh.
Take what I'm going to say with several grains of salt. I am not an ASMRtist that I should especially understand your struggles. And, I am a full on weirdo: so I'm used to being mocked, excluded, and misunderstood (often _purposely_ ), since, like...birth. 😅🤭
Yet, there's an expression. "Get in where you fit in".
It's very natural that not everyone is going to like everyone else: even if we get rid of all bigotry in this world; even if we were to replace our competitive profit-based culture with a collaborative well-being-based one; even if we somehow revolutionized our abilities to communicate with each other in a neurologically fundamental way...when you're human, some folk you will click with, and some you won't.
It's not even a malicious thing; and, technically, no drama even has to be involved in that process of figuring out who you gel with, and _owning_ that (though many will insist so). People self-selecting their social circles is just a thing that *happens* .
Now, if you unleash your creativity, and present an even more authentic face to your audience, then, yes. You will lose subscribers. But I'mma wager that you will stand out more and gain a bunch of subscribers, too -- ones that are even more on your particular wavelength. And that those new followers will be more loyal, more authentically supportive; and will form a more vibrant and cohesive community around you and around each other, than if you continue to try to be as likable for as many people as possible. And that community can be there to help with any of the problematic behaviors and attitudes that will inevitably crop up as your channel becomes more known and interacted with.
((One could even view it as the reason why humans have the concept of genres at all? This person might enjoy horror, while another person who hates horror will look for a comedy instead. This other person over here, might like *both* horror and comedy. But the only reason all three persons know where to go for their favored entertainment style is because the artists are authentic in their creative process and honest when they present and advertise their work.))
I just fond you...such a soothing voice
Thank you!
I think anyone who has any insecurity about something they privately enjoy can relate to a lot of these feelings. I'm not sure if this would help you any, but if you're interested in some "exposure therapy" of sorts, I would look up the video "Top 10 Reasons I Won't Do ASMR" by Jenny Nicholson. As a huge ASMR enthusiast, I watched it as a bit of a challenge for myself to see if I could handle the "critique" of something that I thoroughly adore.
Jenny is a pretty well-known UA-camr and is valued for her reasonable commentary, so I knew I wasn't diving into a video by anyone hateful. It was a good exercise for me, because I think it probably is a good representation of the viewpoint of someone who just "doesn't get it." For that reason, it's uncomfortable to hear because she's judging me, but also showed me that getting judged like that isn't THAT bad after all. Your mileage may vary, but for me it was much much worse to imagine those criticisms, than to actually hear them. I recommend it!
Fascinating! Thank you for the recommendation too, I will look up that video now!
oof, yes it's harsh isn't it! But it's a good critique as you said. We need to hear stuff like this, so we can disagree, ignore, reassess and make ASMR anyway. :-)
@@ASMRMuzz Yes, agreed! Our online world is such a hotbed of negative opinions everywhere, and I really don't like it. But I want to participate in it, so I'm constantly trying to figure out how better to handle everything. With that video: now that I've heard these attitudes I can really evaluate them and compose my own counterpoints for them. I was relieved to find that they didn't change my authentic feelings about ASMR either. Sometimes social pressures can affect my own attitudes, and I'm trying to work on that too. 💪
*I WAS SCARED AS WELL, BUT NOW I DON’T GIVE A THING OF WHAT THEY COULD SAY ABOUT ME. IT’S MY LIFE SO I’LL BE DOING WHAT I WANT SINCE I AM NOT DOING SOMETHING ILLEGAL OR BAD.* 💪🏼
Simple and to the point! I love that and I agree!
I don't know if there's a step by step method to actually undo the innate fear of judgement that comes with being a human being. But I think the real question is, are you enjoying yourself? Do you get excited about these videos that remain unlisted before and while making them? The way you've seemed so far, it seems like you genuinely enjoy this, which makes a lot of sense for an actor. But if it feels more like a scary obligation than something that genuinely excites you, perhaps it's worth reassessing. Of course we all want you to keep making videos and keep making them public. But what you want is the main factor here. I'm obviously dealing with this on a much smaller scale since I have a lot less subscribers, but this feeling has come up in conversation with my close friends. I was stressing the other day about a video idea and how it might come across and my friend told me point blank, "you can just do things because you enjoy them. This doesn't have to be career related (since I'm in film) or about gaining subscribers. Would it be fun for you to make this video or not?" And that's what I've started asking myself, which is why I'm going to lean more into weird videos-- because screw it! This whole thing is just supposed to be fun, and at best, relaxing. People who look down at unapologetically vulnerable things like ASMR videos are really and truly on some level envious, not because they want to be a famous ASMRtist, but because it takes guts to create something that reveals some truth of yourself and to share it with the world. On UA-cam for gods sake, how brave is that? And the best part is, people are drawn to that vulnerability, and that authenticity. It makes for better content. I certainly subscribed to you for your more "out there" videos. But the way I see it, it would still be worth making these more vulnerable, more exposed videos even if that weren't the case, as long as it remains something fun and passionate for you, subscribers/family/friends be damned.
God I love this comment, I love all of it! Absolutely agree with you. I think I definitely lost track of the 'why' I started this channel and got caught up in the analytics and growth part of it.
Awesome video. Certainly didn’t lose me as a subscriber. Xanax...now where’s my $500.
This makes me sad cuz I have so much respect and admiration for you! But I also feel like I identify with this so much. I recently got my PhD in a science and just got to choose between job offers....yet I don't feel confident in my abilities as a scientist or in my ideas and interpretations. I do highly recommend (and someone else said it too) Daring Greatly....but I need to relisten to it myself. I soooo hope you find that freedom to be fully creative in your own way! Try to obsess over the supportive comments and not the judgemental possibilities! Remember, Spock never cared what Bones thought of him 😉
Thanks Adriana! The imposter syndrome suuuuucks. But I guess it's normal. I will check out Daring Greatly for sure! 🖖
We stan undefined like-dislike ratios
For as much as the opinion of a youtube commentor matters, the school principal video really helped me
I am glad to hear that!
Rule number 1: Fuck what they think !!
in order to eliminate your fear of judgement you have to be secure with yourself, i would suggest trying to understand what you don’t like about yourself what you’re ashamed of and improve on those aspects or accept what you cannot change. Honestly i think that you also have to keep telling and convince yourself to not give a fuck about any bodies opinion of what you like to do because at the end of the day they’re just opinions and people are really only worried about their own faults. Insecure people nag on other insecure people to feel better about themselves. Change you are, improve, learn about stoicism and other philosophies and implement them in your life. They were created to improve mankind. Maybe even take some magic mushrooms to expand your mind about the world(although i’m not encouraging substance use it has potential to improve your life, do ur research) but just try things and habits to improve yourself because your overall health effects your mind. that’s my two cents, hope it helps. get back to me on anything.
i applaud your bravery as a man to accept your dilema, and be truthful to all of us. If you think people are gonna think about you as weird or whatever they can fuck off because all of us are here for YOU. We enjoy the content you put out regardless of what anybody else says. Don’t do it for them, do it for yourself and the people who support you. Those of us who know, know.
Bro I have no idea how but my notification bell was switched to “none” by default . I never did that... UA-cam is definitely up to something .
Same thing here. I’m having to manually adjust notifications on each channel I follow.
It's totally UA-cam. They do this all the time, I'm certain of it.
@@ASMRMuzz that’s terrible . I figure it’s because they’ve realized - if you get less views, that’s less money they have to pay out .
You might consider watching some of the videos on the YT channel "The School of Life". For example, search for the video "Why We Worry All the Time and How to Cope". I've found their videos to be very useful.
I'm watching that channel right now, thank you!!
I hear you. That fear of being judged is part of the human condition I'm pretty sure, haha. I write a weekly webcomic, and EVERY week my finger hesitates over the "publish" button because I worry that everyone is going to hate this update for one reason or another.
What kind of acting did you do before, if you don't mind me asking?
Wild right? like, who the hell are you to create that webcomic??? It's absurd. But that's how we often think.
I acted in a couple of films when I lived in NZ, plus a music video and a few other things. (scared to post my iMDB because of the topic of the video....isn't that absurd) but see if you can spot me in this one. ua-cam.com/video/ZX5WwRv9E-8/v-deo.html
@@ASMRMuzz Oh, yeah, you're in there a bunch of times. Awesome!
One more thing I wanted to share is a paraphrase from "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck" by Mark Manson. He said something along the lines that it's impossible to make a meaningful difference in the lives of ONE group of people without being laughed at by another. I've definitely gotten some less than kind comments on my project, but show me a creator in any field who HASN'T. Haha. Plus the kindness people have shown me greatly outweighs it.
Alright, sorry for rambling, haha. Have a good one bud.
it's a shame there seems to be a stigma around ASMR. Especially when most the criticism usually tends to be directed at the more "erotic" side of the spectrum. But ASMR comes in all shapes and styles so it's wrong to lump the entity all into the same basket. With that said, people also need to just educate themselves on it, it's really not that weird of a thing if you look past the clickbait cringe.
yes totally! and if people do have a weird cringe or stigma, who cares right? People do all sorts of stuff that might seem odd to the average Joe.
LOL I can't believe you of all people are worried about Judgement! I mean, everyone has worried about judgement, and I totally believe that you worry about judgement, but every video you keep up every day proves how much little you care about judgement! You don't go back and delete all your videos, restart your channel like MANY ASMRist have. Say a video you produce, you don't like it, it feels too personal, I think that is okay to not have it published, too... but your example you gave probably would help other people, help them manage their anxiety also, even if it was secretly your story (Plus, I mean, we don't know that.. maybe your wife, people back home in Scotland where you grew up... but you are half-way around the world from those old people, and I'm sure your wife has seen you worse). I know it's never helpful to say this but you already know and have the answers to your own problems, maybe a book could help, but I think you probably don't need it.
I think one of the few facts of life I learned from High School (lol) is that everyone lacks some kind of confidence, or feels like they lack in something in some way, when they sniff out something they think is "uncool" or "weird" your own reaction dictates permission to them on how cool something actually is. I remember in high school, it was a time when Pokemon wasn't something as cool to others, a period when it was looked at as "for kids and babies" (some short period), and one of my groups of friends saw me playing it during school. I was honest and upfront about my enthusiasm, and was able to inspire their recollection of love for it by talking about the game (Which to be honest, at the time I was playing on an emulator for the 3rd games before they came out, but some fans had made an english patch), soon enough Pokemon was the hit thing again at my high school and I had about half our campus playing with me or talking about the properties during our breaks (For about a year, we had a lot of distractions in high school). I'm not a super confident person, people who work with me, but aren't one of my closest friends or family, probably think otherwise of me, but you have to fake it to make it, and being able to communicate your passions is one way to fake it.
I also know what you already know, we can only control so much, and what others value for their approval is so arbitrary and individual that you can't just go around pleasing everyone. You can do what you can to please yourself, make the content that you already know attracted you supporters (still try out new ideas, but let it be something that you love too), and people probably will come. I guess there are no guarantees they can come, and knowing you put in all this work, despite everything!.., seemingly to never get a play button would suck, but it wouldn't be that you wasted all your time as I guarantee your ASMR has already helped plenty of people big and small. I know it has helped me, I would probably have gone nuts going through all these years without the ASMR channels I subscribe to and the videos I look forwards to including yours as well as this community (I mean it's been a stressful 4 years, particularly increasing so each year, lol, not to get political). I guess my point is that you can't worry about having control over everyone's reactions and just have confidence in the work that you put out and that your intentions for each video set your approval. Everyone else is going to just do whatever they were going to do anyways. (I get that it is different when you have a family and responsibilities to them, but I think the facts still won't change that there isn't really anything extra you can control about it, so you have to release yourself from those worries)
I'll take my $100, now!
(I'm joking! Don't put a bounty on self help like this! We shouldn't want to get paid to get motivated to help you, in fact, anyone that listens that far into the video almost certainly already has your support and back and would help you for free! $100, you must have been going through these troubles for real today! I can relate, but I think, even from the little I actually know of you, that you already have the tools to solve this problem, and probably are just going through a process many others go through as well, on their right path to solving it too)
Holy shit! I should pay you $100 just for writing that epic comment! Thanks Poke, this is really helpful. I know it all to be true and you are right, I already have these tools. I think I just needed to vent it all out, get it out into the universe and see where all the pieces land.
We are only here for a short time so who realy gives a fk anyway right? I just have to keep telling myself that!