Not all boys like sports and there are plenty of girls who like sports. 👍🏼 Some men are more emotional than others and some women can be more stoic than others, it’s more to do with personality I’d say but biological sex may play a factor too.
Wow! Our stories are pretty identical. I’m 38 and also grew up in a conservative family before the internet was what it is today. I also tried on my Mom’s clothing when I was the only one home. Grew my hair really long in high school and was also quiet and awkward. The biggest difference is that instead of going into the military I launched myself into alcoholism and a career that I absolutely despise now. It’s been 8 years since my last drink and almost 3 years since I came to the realization that I am a transgender woman. Not out to my family nor am I taking hormones yet. But life is a lot better and continues to get better. Thank you so much for this video! You’ve got a new subscriber ❤❤❤
I knew what trans was by 17 (2003). I knew I was, and even passed from 16-23 dressed masc, but I was in severe denial. I didn't come out til a few days before turning 33. I'm almost 37 now. I suffered for a long time because I didn't know I COULD be trans. 20 years ago, you never saw MTF tomboys or trans lesbians. All representations on TV were high femme and straight... that was never me. They wouldn't even let you transition if you weren't a straight girly girl. So, despite the fact that I wanted to be a girl, and was even already passing, I kept telling myself I COULDN'T be trans. I just shrugged, shoved it aside, and just figured I had some weird fetish. 🙄🤦♀
So very relatable! I shoved it aside thinking it was a weird fetish thing, too. I was too scared to ever talk about it for reasons explained in the video. So eventually it just kind of bubbled over, unable to be repressed anymore. Had I actually known the terminology and the options available at the time, I probably would have transitioned a lot earlier in life. Also, if there were better role models then that would have helped, as well.
@@mackenzie4976 Yeah. I grew up feeling alone, but now there's so many people like me. Look like me, talk like me, dress like me, similar interests. It's wild. Cause I grew up without ever seeing anyone remotely like me to look up to. Yeah, I was terrified. I started crossdressing at 14. I quit because I was scared of my dad coming home and finding me, and hurting me AND mom. "Suck it up. Tough it out." Jeez... yeah. I've been out for almost 4 years. Last Christmas Eve, I had a breakdown about my voice, and I went to my room to cry for a bit. My aunt comes in, and rather than comfort me tells me "Suck it up. Plenty of women have low voices", and I tried telling her how the voice in particular is what derailed my life all those years ago, and she's like "Oh, no it wasn't, there were other things". Like, I know what causes my misery, dammit. As bad as the bullying and stuff was, I was miserable BECAUSE OF THIS VOICE. A voice that, mind you, never clocks me, but my autistic ass didn't know it was gonna change, and when it did, it ruined my life. Grades dropped immediately, and I was suicidal by 12. ...I'd say I've sucked it up, considering I made it to 37. But I don't want to just cope. I want a voice that I am happy with. ...life would be so much better if people observed who we are and accepted it, instead of TELLING US who to be. 🙄
Thank you for sharing! It really resonates. I also built my personality on secrecy and joined the military right after high school. It took cutting off almost all interactions outside of family and work to survive-- never been in a relationship. I tried going girl-mode in my early twenties but had a real negative reaction from my conservative Christian family and went back into the closet until now, age 50. I'm undergoing transition and thinking of what a living an authentic life will look like. Please keep making this kind of content! It's so inspiring and wonderful to feel seen. 💜
Apparently, I am too long winded and the end of my comment doesn’t show. So here it is: distorted piece of glass. Everything is confusing and nothing fits or feels real. Major depression has also been a constant companion, just like you. And I’ve been very successful in camouflaging everything, like you. So thank you again. I have one question, if you feel comfortable answering it, How did you decided on the name MacKenzie? That is the name I have also chosen when I am farther along in transitioning.
I have been following you but I'm not a gamer. This was excellent and I identified with you in so many ways. I too used humor to escape from admitting who I really was. At my children’s insistence, after my wife died, I wrote a corny joke book titled “Kansas Corn” made up of original jokes that just popped into my head. The interesting thing is once I discovered I was transgender and I became the real me the jokes no longer came to me. Thanks for this wonderful video, it helped me so much!
Comedy can be a strong deflection to confronting your inner thoughts. It's like any other defense mechanism, except more socially acceptable. I'm glad this resonated with you. I swear I plan to make more like it. It takes a lot for me to come up with content I'm comfortable sharing.
I didn't have a word for it my whole childhood. I took a sex ed college class after graduation from highschool. There was a guest speaker. A trans woman. She got up there and described my childhood. Stuff I never said out loud. Then she continues and talks about transition. "There's a word for it". I went full time at 19.
I totally enjoy your videos. Your narrative, humor, and storytelling, etc shows your communication degree is not useless or in vain. I also appreciate that you don’t use foul language (an acquaintance use to say “There are other more suitable words in the English language”) or sound like a Valley Girl. It’s very refreshing unlike others. (More sarcasm would be great though😏). It took me 50 years to get “diagnosed” with gender dysphoria and I started HRT about the same time you made this video. I went to a therapist about three months ago on the insistence of siblings. I knew I had two mental health issues before starting therapy. But the therapist has found a total of thirteen. After doing research on gender dysphoria, I found that Autism is common in people with gender dysphoria. Unsurprising but very overwhelming, I was diagnosed as having high Autistic traits at the age of 61. Major depression has also been a constant companion, just like you. I’ve also been very successful at camouflaging everything. The way I like to describe my life is I’m outside looking in through a distorted piece
I can relate to a lot of this. It took my until my 30s to accept that I'm trans, and then it took me another 10 years to come out. Thanks internalized transphobia! In my 20s I went through major depression to the point I couldn't leave my house for weeks at a time and just didn't take care of myself at all. I still have depressive episodes and anxiety, to the point I've missed work from it. (Including today, unfortunately...) But it's a lot better now that I accepted I'm trans and have started transitioning. I've been on HRT for about 6 months, I'm starting to develop, and I'm out socially, just not at work yet. But hopefully I'll have the courage soon!
It took less than 4 minutes to know, that in know very well, what you tell us! It is so great, that you share your experiences with us. Perhaps in the future kids can Tell their parents proud of their hobbies. And.... i love your style😊! best wishes bob
Thanks! I really related to your story. While i was hospitalized for depression, a female co worker visited me and told me others liked me but felt as though no one actually knew me. It showed me that my lack of being an authentic self made me unknowable and had put me in a 6 week hospitalization for depression! Love your content❤
Yeah, I get the idea some UA-camrs are jumping on the bullshit trans bandwagon, just slipping into frocks and taking on new names, to sell their `gaming`/music/art channels. It`s hilarious what people do for the lure of money. This one isn`t even trying.
Nice story. I'm sorry you had to wait to become the woman you have always been. I myself did not have any thoughts growing up. My decision to be a woman started 2 years ago. ʟɢʙᴛ𝓠+ I did not have the same awareness of. Makes sense since they were not so talked about in the 1980's, 1990's and even the year 2000 up to sometime before 2022. Plus my Dad was more old school then Mom. So at the end of the day I did not figure out I was transgender until 2022. In 2023 and 2024 I have settled in on my new identity. I have made so much progress but still got stuff to do. Anyways congrats on achieving your transformation.
Not all boys like sports and there are plenty of girls who like sports. 👍🏼
Some men are more emotional than others and some women can be more stoic than others, it’s more to do with personality I’d say but biological sex may play a factor too.
Wow! Our stories are pretty identical. I’m 38 and also grew up in a conservative family before the internet was what it is today. I also tried on my Mom’s clothing when I was the only one home. Grew my hair really long in high school and was also quiet and awkward. The biggest difference is that instead of going into the military I launched myself into alcoholism and a career that I absolutely despise now. It’s been 8 years since my last drink and almost 3 years since I came to the realization that I am a transgender woman. Not out to my family nor am I taking hormones yet. But life is a lot better and continues to get better. Thank you so much for this video! You’ve got a new subscriber ❤❤❤
I knew what trans was by 17 (2003). I knew I was, and even passed from 16-23 dressed masc, but I was in severe denial. I didn't come out til a few days before turning 33. I'm almost 37 now.
I suffered for a long time because I didn't know I COULD be trans. 20 years ago, you never saw MTF tomboys or trans lesbians. All representations on TV were high femme and straight... that was never me. They wouldn't even let you transition if you weren't a straight girly girl. So, despite the fact that I wanted to be a girl, and was even already passing, I kept telling myself I COULDN'T be trans. I just shrugged, shoved it aside, and just figured I had some weird fetish. 🙄🤦♀
So very relatable! I shoved it aside thinking it was a weird fetish thing, too. I was too scared to ever talk about it for reasons explained in the video. So eventually it just kind of bubbled over, unable to be repressed anymore. Had I actually known the terminology and the options available at the time, I probably would have transitioned a lot earlier in life. Also, if there were better role models then that would have helped, as well.
@@mackenzie4976 Yeah. I grew up feeling alone, but now there's so many people like me. Look like me, talk like me, dress like me, similar interests. It's wild. Cause I grew up without ever seeing anyone remotely like me to look up to.
Yeah, I was terrified. I started crossdressing at 14. I quit because I was scared of my dad coming home and finding me, and hurting me AND mom.
"Suck it up. Tough it out." Jeez... yeah. I've been out for almost 4 years. Last Christmas Eve, I had a breakdown about my voice, and I went to my room to cry for a bit. My aunt comes in, and rather than comfort me tells me "Suck it up. Plenty of women have low voices", and I tried telling her how the voice in particular is what derailed my life all those years ago, and she's like "Oh, no it wasn't, there were other things". Like, I know what causes my misery, dammit. As bad as the bullying and stuff was, I was miserable BECAUSE OF THIS VOICE. A voice that, mind you, never clocks me, but my autistic ass didn't know it was gonna change, and when it did, it ruined my life. Grades dropped immediately, and I was suicidal by 12. ...I'd say I've sucked it up, considering I made it to 37. But I don't want to just cope. I want a voice that I am happy with.
...life would be so much better if people observed who we are and accepted it, instead of TELLING US who to be.
🙄
It`s a weird fetish. You`re a cross dresser.
It took that long to accept it, you knew you were from a young age.
Thank you for sharing! It really resonates. I also built my personality on secrecy and joined the military right after high school. It took cutting off almost all interactions outside of family and work to survive-- never been in a relationship. I tried going girl-mode in my early twenties but had a real negative reaction from my conservative Christian family and went back into the closet until now, age 50. I'm undergoing transition and thinking of what a living an authentic life will look like. Please keep making this kind of content! It's so inspiring and wonderful to feel seen. 💜
IM 75 it took me 65 years to come out ...
It may have taken a long time, but I'm glad you eventually felt safe enough to come out.
Apparently, I am too long winded and the end of my comment doesn’t show. So here it is: distorted piece of glass. Everything is confusing and nothing fits or feels real. Major depression has also been a constant companion, just like you. And I’ve been very successful in camouflaging everything, like you. So thank you again. I have one question, if you feel comfortable answering it, How did you decided on the name MacKenzie? That is the name I have also chosen when I am farther along in transitioning.
I have been following you but I'm not a gamer. This was excellent and I identified with you in so many ways. I too used humor to escape from admitting who I really was. At my children’s insistence, after my wife died, I wrote a corny joke book titled “Kansas Corn” made up of original jokes that just popped into my head. The interesting thing is once I discovered I was transgender and I became the real me the jokes no longer came to me. Thanks for this wonderful video, it helped me so much!
Comedy can be a strong deflection to confronting your inner thoughts. It's like any other defense mechanism, except more socially acceptable. I'm glad this resonated with you. I swear I plan to make more like it. It takes a lot for me to come up with content I'm comfortable sharing.
Hi, our stories are almost identical. I feel seen, thank you
Looking forward to smashing some monsters!
Thank you for sharing your story.
I didn't have a word for it my whole childhood.
I took a sex ed college class after graduation from highschool. There was a guest speaker. A trans woman. She got up there and described my childhood. Stuff I never said out loud. Then she continues and talks about transition. "There's a word for it". I went full time at 19.
I totally enjoy your videos. Your narrative, humor, and storytelling, etc shows your communication degree is not useless or in vain. I also appreciate that you don’t use foul language (an acquaintance use to say “There are other more suitable words in the English language”) or sound like a Valley Girl. It’s very refreshing unlike others. (More sarcasm would be great though😏). It took me 50 years to get “diagnosed” with gender dysphoria and I started HRT about the same time you made this video. I went to a therapist about three months ago on the insistence of siblings. I knew I had two mental health issues before starting therapy. But the therapist has found a total of thirteen. After doing research on gender dysphoria, I found that Autism is common in people with gender dysphoria. Unsurprising but very overwhelming, I was diagnosed as having high Autistic traits at the age of 61. Major depression has also been a constant companion, just like you. I’ve also been very successful at camouflaging everything. The way I like to describe my life is I’m outside looking in through a distorted piece
Here from your livestream! Thanks for the story. 🎉
Thanks for tuning in! Hope to see you again!
I am trying to figure that out myself to . I am 69 now an still trying which gender . I am a male
Everyone's journey is different. I'm glad to hear you're taking the time to understand yourself better.
I can relate to a lot of this. It took my until my 30s to accept that I'm trans, and then it took me another 10 years to come out. Thanks internalized transphobia! In my 20s I went through major depression to the point I couldn't leave my house for weeks at a time and just didn't take care of myself at all. I still have depressive episodes and anxiety, to the point I've missed work from it. (Including today, unfortunately...) But it's a lot better now that I accepted I'm trans and have started transitioning. I've been on HRT for about 6 months, I'm starting to develop, and I'm out socially, just not at work yet. But hopefully I'll have the courage soon!
YB your true self
It took less than 4 minutes to know, that in know very well, what you tell us!
It is so great, that you share your experiences with us. Perhaps in the future kids can Tell their parents proud of their hobbies.
And.... i love your style😊!
best wishes
bob
Thanks! I really related to your story. While i was hospitalized for depression, a female co worker visited me and told me others liked me but felt as though no one actually knew me. It showed me that my lack of being an authentic self made me unknowable and had put me in a 6 week hospitalization for depression! Love your content❤
12:10 literally the most accurate way of putting it
Thank you for sharing your story 😊
Thank you for watching. 😊
You're amazing and inspiring. ❤
Awww thank you ❤️
Looks like the UA-camr Linus but in drag
Yeah, I get the idea some UA-camrs are jumping on the bullshit trans bandwagon, just slipping into frocks and taking on new names, to sell their `gaming`/music/art channels. It`s hilarious what people do for the lure of money. This one isn`t even trying.
Nice story. I'm sorry you had to wait to become the woman you have always been. I myself did not have any thoughts growing up. My decision to be a woman started 2 years ago. ʟɢʙᴛ𝓠+ I did not have the same awareness of. Makes sense since they were not so talked about in the 1980's, 1990's and even the year 2000 up to sometime before 2022. Plus my Dad was more old school then Mom. So at the end of the day I did not figure out I was transgender until 2022. In 2023 and 2024 I have settled in on my new identity. I have made so much progress but still got stuff to do. Anyways congrats on achieving your transformation.