Thank you Irene snd Seth. TRULY!!! Another deep and eye opening video of the importance of healing the nervous system. I could relate to MANY of Seth’s avoidance behaviors, symptoms, and searching for help. Every layer we can get to…. Even the really HARD deep ones, chip away at our debilitating survival stress. I love you two! I love that you incorporate not just science… but the integration work of, BODY…MIND AND SOUL. It seems that the integrity of that trinity is key to lasting wholeness and PEACE. Peace of mind.. peace in the body and I feel the rest will follow. Just the fact that Seth said he could chill and take a nap, brought tears to my heart. Because I have been there for years. I have severe disorderly anxiety and broke from chronic traumas in 2018. I have lived dizzy 24/7 for 4 years now. There is nothing medically wrong as I have stellar health. So this feels like nervous system DISREGULATION and all the collateral damage that comes with it. I STILL get out and live my life best I can as I don’t like to give up. I go grocery shop.. I do it all, even when my body is giving me a hard time. Some days … I don’t and just rest. But I will listen to more healing education. I haven’t gotten good at Meditation…. Yet. Some day I can see myself on a rock by the beach in peace with my world meditating with gratitude. 🌈🌈 At 69, I am one that cannot afford the SBSM course… But I still work hard at listing to all Irene’s work, AND apply all I can know from this GREAT healing channel. I will get there too. Healing my traumas. Thank you from the bottom and TOP of my heart.🙏🙏❤️❤️ AND P.S. Please don’t stop educating us dear Irene 😢🙏. People like me that want to learn and heal our lives need you here and the resources we can get. Time is so precious to me at 69 and I BELIEVE I deserve to have health AND JOY for the rest of my life. ❤️
Eileen, Jen here from Team Lyon. It's great to hear that Irene and Seth's work resonates with you so deeply. It sounds like you're using their resources to support your healing, so I wanted to make sure you were aware of the free practices Irene offers. I'll link to them below. I also hear that SBSM is not an option at this point, and wanted to make sure you knew about the 21 Day Nervous System Tune Up. It's Irene's starter course. It's self-study and you can go through it over and over. You also have the opportunity to ask questions about your experience and have them answered by trained nervous system professionals. I'll link to more info in case you'd like to learn more. And Irene also offers monthly Drop In classes. It's a great way to learn from Irene live, spend some time in a healing field, and you get the recording to review as many times as you like. Drop In classes are $19 USD. Hopefully you'll find some things in here to support you as you live in to the joy and health you are creating for yourself! Here's the free resources page - irenelyon.com/free-resources-2/ And here's a playlist of the practices she offers on YT - ua-cam.com/play/PL_tIcR-r0CU5Xss_Mq1buU-tWdYVQksjI.html 21 Day Nervous System Tune Up - 21daytuneup.com Drop In Classes - irenelyon.com/drop-in-class-1
I'm an SBSM alumni (2/2020). Listening to this discussion now, I realized that I've been wanting to do this work without involving my body. I had a sudden memory of when I was 10 years old, watching the original Star Trek TV series. There was an episode where the antagonists turned out to be 2 brains in glass bubbles/jars. My reaction: "Yes! I want to be that!" How easy, fun, safe... whatever. The mere thought of sensing my body senda my mind into a tailspin of "I don't know how. What am I supposed to do? I don't know what I'm feeling." Each attempt to sense my body had to be accompanied with my internal voice telling me what I'm doing and how it feels, in order for me to feel it. Whoa!!! Great stuff. And I have been working with the education/information in SBSM which is incredible, invaluable. I've gained so much capacity to stay in the present and out of my head. And that work is what allowed me to finally "hear" what Irene and Seth are saying today. I feel braver and more able to really start to sense my body, and accept whatever I sense as ok and go from there. Thank you.
@@geeb3376 Irene Lyon is by far the best educator/practitioner you'll find anywhere. SBSM is truly a priceless investment in yourself. That being said, if paying for this large, in depth program will cause you more stress, Irene is the first person to tell you, take advantage of her extensive free resources. You'll learn a lot from these. Or, you can purchase the 21 Day Tube, work through that. SBSM will be offered again. You have to lean into yourself, what are your sensing? A true feeling that now is the time to start this journey? Can you find a way to pay for it that doesn't stress you? This course is priceless. If you do the work, at your own pace, you will benefit.
Thank you for this. i can totally relate to Seth"s experience, and coping mechanisms. i am currently in a C_PTSD flare and realize how small my life is getting due to isolating when i feel like this, it has deeply affected my life. i joined SBSM many years ago and was never able to follow through with it, avoidance is one of my coping mechanisms. and am thrilled that when i checked yesterday to see if i could join this time around, my invitation was already there. and so yes, i will join again and hopefully follow through . because at 51 this anxiety and withdrawal from life is getting very old... i need to rekindle my spirit and heal finally. thank you, for keeping the doors open to those who have paid, even many years ago, to begin again.
Hello to you from Az, After reading your testimonial.. I found a lot of similar experiences as I myself am trying to recover from severe GAD.. symptoms and life. I am 69, and I still feel the tug of war ti just avoid.. or manage. That does not mean I am not doing alot of work too. I just wanted to let you know.. I SEE you… and you are not alone. I Am also fighting to save my life and I KNOW it’s there. Time has become so precious and so are we and we DESERVE to live in peace and wellness BODY… MIND and SOUL. I offer my hand. We are in this together🙏🙏🌈🌈
I recognise myself completely in all this, and I can’t really belive how much I’ve healed already just by listening to all of Irenes different materials. It’s like life has been survival and suffering, but not being able to explain it or why to anyone. Like just being alive is painful, yet ”knowing” this is probably not like it should be. But not having a clue what the ”answer” would be. It’s been a long road and one part of me feels a bit sad, because I would have so much to be able to give this to my younger self. However, my main motivation has always been becoming a healed parent. Even before becoming one! My oldest is now 8 and I have not been regulated these 8 years. Even when doing my very very best, I’ve made some mistakes. These last year since I’ve found this, so much have changed and like you say in the video - the whole family dynamic is so much easier, calm and loving - even in the rougher times, I feel more calm and less reactive. It’s like it’s easier to think! And also I have so much more even energy througout the days and not being constantly like worried, stressed and fatigued. THIS life is my dream coming true, the dream I had but could never formulate. Thank you sooo much!! ❤
Another great chat. Can't get enough of your talks! "I don't know who I am anymore." Can't tell you how many times I've wondered who I am these last few years, especially since finding your work. But in a good way! I know I'm finally growing and getting unstuck.
Thank you both SO much for this incredible conversation.🙏 I can't believe how much I relate to Seth's story! I too experienced significant stress very early in life - both in utero and at birth when I was removed from my mother and then lay in an orphanage for 2 weeks before being adopted by a well meaning completely dysregulated family who chose to lie about my being adopted when I asked at 12/13, and then finally told me the truth when I was 44. I refer to the revelation as 'the dropping of the bomb' as it seems to be the event that finally undid me completely (collapse perhaps). Of course that undoing has led me to discover my authentic self, so I'm starting to see it as a blessing. Prior to that, as Seth said, I had absolutely no idea who I was or what I truly wanted. In fact recently, I've observed a tendency in me to check out or at least consciously choose to ignore my own feelings, needs and wants when they come up, if I am not paying close attention, for fear of being 'wrong' and risking abandonment by the family/tribe. I have been seeing an SE Therapist for over 2.5 years now, and outside of that working on myself on a daily basis. The change to my capacity has been huge! ❤
Same experience here. My psychologist always tries to bring me back from rationalising everything (that's my go-to defense mechanism from early childhood, really) to my feelings. They're very hard to dig up sometimes.
Brilliant talk have so many parallels with seth and his experiences especially when the restaurant looking at another table was mentioned , wow i used to do this a lot when in pubs and restaurants , even had someone come up to me once and say what you looking at! I was mortified i did not understand exactly why i used to do this at the time and it made me feel quite uncomfortable, at last i know why i did this i was looking for potential danger, i also used to modify myself to different situations and fawn round people, i often feel safer doing things on my own and dont like been told to constantly go from one task to another, my job can be quite stressful, since doing this work i have realized i have probably been in a state of flight/freeze for decades but just lived with it because i thought this was normal for me, thankyou for your amazing work i am looking forward to more shifts in sbsm sept 2022 my 3rd time on the course all the best x
I understand your caution regarding not doing too much. I struggle with that because I seem to have the opposite problem at times where I don’t push myself enough because of fear. I’ve had to push past that in order to make progress. I guess it’s like you have said in other videos that I have to experiment and see what works and what doesn’t. I really understand now that this can’t be a “cookie cutter” approach to this! Thank you!
My favourite video yet (and I’m moving through them at pace 😂). Thank you, Seth, for sharing your story so eloquently and candidly. So much empathy and resonance on my part. I had a significant realisation around in person therapy. In the past I just fell into a survival response; eg - in my ONE consultation with a psychotherapist I basically spent an hour proving to him that I was okay, via how much I knew and understood about myself. Because convincing myself I am okay has been a lifelong necessity. He concurred I was a marvel (didn’t know what to do with me, seemingly 😬). BUT; in following your 21 day programme, Irene, and truly becoming my own therapist, I now FEEL that I AM OKAY, even when I’m not having the best time, because I have ways of being, and tools that I now know can get me back there, to regulation. In essence; I’m feeling some biological safety for the first time in my life (actually tearing up writing that). Also, I worked as pro singer/dancer for 18 years in hotels and on cruise liners. I was the epitome of a social butterfly; chameleon really. I was able to expertly adapt my personality to literally anyone (the rich and famous folk I met and dined with, even royalty). This was of huge advantage to me professionally, known for my social light and graces, but I felt SO ill. I wanted to be locked in my cabin alone so often, even when in the most stunning parts of the world, which made me feel like a miserable and ungrateful person. Not quite sure how I stuck it out so long, except to say that I had been a proficient actress pretty much all of my life. Now, here I am, recognising who I actually am, more and more each day 🙏❤️🩹
Made this note on my phone and thought I'd share here!! Nervous system regulation steps 1. Become embodied. Intentionally allocate time towards this throughout each day. This practice builds your capacity to tap into and be with intense emotions and sensation in general 2. Expose yourself to safe situations which will 'trigger' you in a mildly overwhelming way 3. Be with these 'triggers' with your newfound capacity. Feel them as deeply as you can and allow them to evolve (eg. Anxiety to sadness to calm) and pass through you ❤️
Thank you both for this conversation. This was extremely helpful. I did the last round of SBSM and many questions that I have been pondering were addressed here. Looking forward to the next session to begin.
Thank you both for this conversation. It is wonderfull and honest. Hard to listen because it openes that spot that this is not an easy road, and it takes a years of practice, but as Seth said it gets better, it doesnt stay stuck as it was before doing this work❤️
This hits close to home. I'm actually really good socially if it's a smaller group or one on one. Always in small doses only. Otherwise I feel my nervous system can handle it.
The best discussion for me so far and I thank you both. When Seth talks about how it felt like dying to ask his son to do things I really felt that and now see my patterns more clearly.
This is freaking brilliant. I thank you both for making this video. I was reluctant to listen to it incase it made me feel worse about myself and my parenting mistakes but halfway through I realise this talk is just what I need to keep on keeping on and working through the SBSM programme. I relate to so much of what u share Seth. I have 2 teenage daughters. I had a difficult dsyregulated weekend doing something way out of comfort zone and have been beating myself up it and about how I couldn't apply my SBSM skills in the moment. I just need to give myself a break and continue to work on my regulation and building my capacity. I totally believe in this work bc I see how it is helping me and the more I do the more it helps. Thank you 😊 💓
Thanks Irene, Seth and Team Lyon for putting SBSM and everything else online. I would have never been able to access this information and training in person otherwise. I have signed up for SBSM Sept 2022 and I’m looking forward to it. I have resonated with so many things that you have both shared. Resistance is a big issue with me right now but I’m finding these videos are really helping with disarming/dissolving that struggle. I keep watching your videos, reading your lessons on your web pages and working through 21 Day tune up. All of those resources have helped me to have the clarity and confidence that I have made the right decision to commit the time and money for SBSM.
Thanks for joining us Darrin! Definitely check out the Pre-Game Video Series in the Orientation Menu of the SBSM site. The very first one is about working with resistance :)
This is an amazing conversation, thank you. I so wish it would be available to watch after today, as I know many people who could benefit from watching this. Keep up the good work!
Concerning the Baja incident, can you please please please share how Seth followed up with his son after that moment of 'healthy shame'!? Did Seth support and reenforce Irene's boundary, or did Seth apologize to the kid for it happening etc ... This is such an important part that I think we need to know in order to understand this shift fully. Thank you so very much for sharing your amazing work! 💗
Hi Lindee, Seth here. I followed up with my son and let him know I loved him, and that I understood it may be difficult for him at times, for me to have a new person in my life that he has to share me with, and that respecting people's conversations and not interrupting is important.
interesting discussion on "failure to launch". im one of those adult chicks who has failed to thrive due to complex PTSD. i wish id gotten this type of therapy at age 18 and still wish my mom would stop pushing psychiatric medication on me. that stance of hers along with a kinda "fake it til you make it" attitude highlights the roots of the issue why i might "need" psychiatric medication imo.
Emily Porter, Jen here from Team Lyon. You may have gleaned this from watching Irene's videos, and when we learn and practice this nervous system work we can grow the ability to launch at any age in our lives. If you're here, it's not too late.
At 50 now I've gotten the stellate ganglion block to help with the overwhelming emotions when intrusive thoughts poke my brain... its was done through a pain specialist that has been actually listening to me. Spondylitis is something I've lived with for over 25 years...describing the pain as a " tendinitis " of the neck... he has done shots that changed my world... this SGB is dealing with the the core issue of a ptsd developed in infancy... what are your thoughts about blocking the sympathetic nervous system...
Katherine - Mara here with Team Lyon. It sounds like this is supporting you in a way that has been helpful. Since the resources and teachings that Irene offers are educational, it's outside of our scope to comment on such a medical procedure. Without understanding its reversibility, percent effectiveness, etc, it's quite hard to know. Our physiology is meant to have a natural cycling between sympathetic and parasympathetic states. Without some sympathetic energy, we have a hard time engaging with the world. With too much, we also have a hard time. Perhaps this intervention has put you in a place where you are now able to learn more how to regulate your nervous system to complement the effects of the SGD.
It's very interesting how Seth describes becoming this different person depending who he's with. I feel like that sometimes. I feel like I behave differently depending on who I'm with. Does this change with time and doing the work?
fuerstin77, Jen here from Team Lyon. Yes, this does change with time and doing this work as we both deepen our access to ourselves and our ability to stay connected to this when in the presence of others.
ah wauw, the explanation of Seth: How do I shape myself with all these people, so that they do not kill me. wow. You know I truly know what you are talking about. Social situations, or people in general, often seem like a threat to me. This is because my parents often made me feel like I was flawed and that I should be different. And what I like is that you can talk about all these things. That it may be there, acknowledged. With my house, I have tried to begin some family therapy etc and it was good, but now I just try to pretend everything is good because then theyll be the happiest. When I am just happy. But I am not. And it is pretty hard to have all these needs, which you dont know how to address in your world. Anyway, I am hopefull, and jealous, of your development. I wanted to ask, do you think one can start this work too young? Probably not. And another question, how did the somatic sessions you did, Seth, feel? Did you enjoy going there or was it a struggle also. How did you feel safe in the sessions? Because I tried some counselling but I could not et myself be.. Anyway, thank you for your opennnes.
abce k, Jen here from Team Lyon. If you're here, watching these videos about learning about this nervous system way of healing, then you are old enough to explore to this work in the way that Irene teaches. As for the somatic sessions, I'll ask Seth if he wants to chime in about that.
What do you do if you had to adapt to someone (mother) who was very very changeable? One day she was fine but the next she. would scream for 2- 3 hours about nothing - something that was more in her mind than in reality..Then next day she would be somewhat there somewhat not , but things were okay again. Other times overly loving and smothering. - back and forth. Dad had died when I was. a. toddler so I was only one that mom was bouncing off of. Yet people around us would say that mom was stressed and I needed to understand her. I was a perfect child, but really couldn't be good enough.. But then I was told I was too quiet and bookish and needed to be more assertive (she didn't use that. term back then of course. ). When was my chance to be assertive? Even if I was happy and laughed loudly with other kids then the way home I was really bawled out. But then other times she didn't do that, so who knows what was right or wrong. I know different people want different things, but this was the same person who always wanted something different.
Hello, Sophia from Team Lyon here. Moderators are no longer covering this channel. They are, however, active in, and fully support our programs. You can learn more about those programs here irenelyon.com/programs/. If you're curious about working with your nervous system you can check out this free training irenelyon.com/healing-trauma-training-2023/ . I hope this helps!
Hi btblou - not really! Many of our participants are in different time zones. Everything is recorded and the replays are posted to the site afterwards.
Hi, i was a preemie. And im realizing this may be a big root issue now that i heard to speak on it. How do i reach and rewire that trauma? I have felt very unincluded and locked out, left behind in things my whole life.
Hi Trinity, Seth here. Simply put - start doing the work :) Either in Irene's 21 Day Tune Up, and.or the next time we run SBSM, and/or with a good somatic practitioner. Some links to explore these thing below... 21 Day Tune Up - 21daytuneup.com/ SBSM - smartbodysmartmind.com/ How to find a good somatic practitioner - ua-cam.com/video/04XF7ANnqGk/v-deo.html
I had to drink alcohol, i was alcoholic in AA which was only place i felt safe, i ran out on my mother friends 80th, we were supposed to do dance together but i couldn't, i had to drink for funerals, in morning, i was sick with digestive problem, ended up in hospital weighing 31 kilos, i'm 5'4 nearly died, i got well but no AA anymore, i take add meds and hide away alone at home, my cat disappeared, on last friday, grief stricken ragdoll, i have no friends i can call on just my npd sisters who are abusive but they can be kind too, one is betterthan other! I have no husband or children, i am 60! I'm in fight flight mode sometimes, lot better than when young, was mess, i am addict, on medical marijuana in evening. I paint and swimming regulates me!
When you're a child and you're laughed at for example when you're too ashamed to order an ice cream, does that also create toxic shame? Or does there have to be the unfriendly voice?
Hi fuerstin77, Seth here with Team Lyon. Yes, something like that certainly can create a toxic shame response in the child, though, as with all experiences, the impact may vary from kid to kid based on their history, resilience, personality, etc.. Any time we are told that we are unacceptable, unwanted, not good enough, or even when we aren't taken seriously, or attuned to well, these can all create a toxic imprint of unhealthy shame.
I am about 38 minutes in with the story on Seth’s son in Baha. I am truly confused about this snapping, I think Irene called it, when he interrupted. The healthy shame. I don’t understand why it had to be snappy .. Can’t you just say it in a nicer way, like explain that it’s impolite to interrupt and to say “excuse me” if it’s important or otherwise wait? I don’t see the point of being so harsh that it sends a child to tears. This is really, really bothering me and I hope to get a response. Was it intentional to be so gruff? If not I can understand that sometimes we react in a harsher manner due to whatever is going on at the moment - but I am very curious if this was intentional and, if so, why? It seems to go against other things that I have learned from you over the years.
Hi Tova. I know she says 'I snapped', but it wasn't actually snappy or harsh at all. It was simply direct and clear and enforced a boundary that he wasn't used to. That's why he had the tears and got upset - because of the novelty of the experience and how it challenged his expectations - not because of any meanness. And the end result was more closeness.
I agree with you. It bothers me too. I watch this video yesterday, and I can't stop thinking about it. In this specific situation too much responsibility was put on his son, and making him feel so unwelcome was completely unnecessary. Neither Seth and Irene put to use and exercise their awareness, knowledge and experience, and mostly compassion toward a child.💜
@@sethlyon4064 I really was enjoying the video till you guys shared the story about your son interrupting Irene talking to you. It bothers me a lot. She was not giving a lecture or a speech. You simply spun up the circumstances into a teaching lesson for your child, and sent him to tears. Irene's reaction was not snappy and harsh from your perception, so what brought tears to his eyes? Neither of you exercised your wisdom, your knowledge, awareness and mostly love and empathy toward a child. What was wrong about him joining the conversation? I hope you reached out to your son to listen how he felt, how he was affected and help him process, heal from this completely unnecessary, unloving experience.
@@annajaworska3627 - I hear that you are upset. I will try my best to explain again. Joining a conversation is different than rudely interrupting someone. Those are the kinds of healthy boundaries and discernment I was not able to communicate to him, which is why he didn't know it was not ok to do. When someone firmly, but not unkindly, pointed that out to him (Irene) is was a shock to his system, hence the tears. Tears are not necessarily a bad thing. Sometimes kids get upset when they don't get what they want, or are learning a new lesson that challenges their previous expectations. That was the case here. Me trying to protect him from feeling any such upset, ever, was the problematic issue in the first place. Sometimes kids will get upset as they learn, especially when something that has been an issue with the parent needs correcting, and the behavior changes. Given that, what happened in this experience was absolutely necessary and the most loving thing that could have happened. Yes, of course I followed up later and as we noted in the video, he was much closer to Irene after this experience. Sometimes, especially when it comes to parenting, what is loving and correct doesn’t always feel nice in the moment. I’m hearing a lot of painful feelings, and fairly harsh judgment about this experience, which you didn't actually witness. Given that, and the fact that you were so upset that you couldn’t stop thinking about it, I would invite you to consider if perhaps your own trauma may be getting triggered here.
I like the fact that ure in two different homes haha anyway. I suffer from chronic pain like permanent headaches since my 17years and also i hear sounds in my ear that are so annoyiing my left ear since my 15 birthday and digestion issues at my 13yo basically i had à very Hard teenagerhood and its where my health issues and chronique pains begin am at my 24 and its only getting worse unfortunally its so Hard to foolow my studies like that but im sstruglling and at the point of getting my degree hopefully i live in a household were i suffer from comlpete ignorance i speak french not english so its Hard for me to understand it all at the video also to write in english its my third language whom i dont use of t'en and is not necessary in my country but im trying to learn it better anyway i grew up in pure ignorance and neglect being the only unwanted forgoten girl with the most misoginistic father he never admits to me am hes girl i Never heard the world my girl from any of them am supposed to raise and provid at à certain âge also am not aloud to talk or speak or look at them in the eyes or i Will get hit at the head and face just am féminine and i dont know what the issue with that they never want to hear my female voice or have any contact with me such as eye contact they act like id dont exist since forever i felt unseen unexisting and had as they say à quite childgood but i was freezed and with the begining of my teenagerhood and specially me entring relationships and love life my trauma just rised and flowted up top so now i cant get rid of it and tried suicide twice but Who cares i feel at danger and scared and a lot of things i feel like they are afraid i seduce them its so sick but i feel like that since they dont give me any affection just pure hâte and sickness whom i Will never accept at all i had that feeling since forever i dont know if its an intrusive thaugh or the truth but as id believe that i get much better i cant get it out of my head i believe strongly in it and its the truth cauz i see in there acts no matter what they say.
Hi Kaoutar Kacha, Seth here with Team Lyon. It sounds like you grew up with a lot of neglect and abuse ands that no one ever really saw you, or appreciated you for who you are. That's very hard to be sure! I'm sorry you went through that. The symptoms you describe make sense given that upbringing, and they can change and get better! I recommend starting to explore this work in a way that is a good fir for you. This could mean just continuing to learn from Irene on this channel, checking out the free resources on her website, attending one of her monthly drop-in classes, joining one of her online programs, and/or seeking help from a good somatic practitioner. There's lots of ways to get started, and this work can really help! I'll put some links to check out below. Free Resources - irenelyon.com/free-resources-2/ Drop-In Class - irenelyon.com/drop-in-class-1 Drop-In Class Replays - irenelyon.com/drop-in-class-replays/ 21 Day Nervous System Tune-Up - 21daytuneup.com/ How to find a good Somatic Practitioner - ua-cam.com/video/04XF7ANnqGk/v-deo.html
I think society in general you’re expected to change to suit the environment. That’s school, that’s night time at home, that is in a movie theater - so some of that I think is just engrained. Fitting in. Being part of a group; being accepted is soooo critical to humans, as you know, because not fitting in meant death. So it’s already just a natural part of us. So. Where it turns dysfunctional .. I don’t know. I’d love feedback. So many people aren’t really comfortable in their skin. I don’t think I know a single person. Certainly society ensures to the best they can that we are not ok how we are or they can’t sell the clothes and the makeup and the nose jobs and the like. The cool cars that tell people how much money you make, etc. You can’t be balding - oh no, wear a hat or get a hair graft. That is everywhere. How does anyone just be who they are with true authenticity? Oof.
@@tovahooper2125 - This brings to mind the old Krishnamurti quote - 'It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society'. So many of our societal norms and expectations are toxic to the human being. Finding and expressing our authenticity isn't about making waves all over the place and challenging things left and right though, it's not about creating more friction. From my experience it means being able to show up in a powerfully present way that changes the room around you, that changes the field, so to speak, such that toxic societal norms simply no longer apply.
this is not true that if you do not have children you do not know how challenging it feels to challenge your children because I have the same thing with my parents, when I "talk back" to them, basically I challenge their view and their believes when I know that some things they do are not right and I call them out on it, boy it feels like my whole body is shaking but I still do it because I have kind of learned that it goes both ways, a parents is not always right but a child is also not always right either and there should be a healthy amount of conversation and sharing and being open and honest about this things but since my parents where also violent to worth me and I fired their reaction and how they are never going to speak to me ever again and things like that if I speak up, it is uncomfortable but I found it to be very helpful in the long run because you don't let other stump on you anymore (not literally, I never had that with other people or to challenge other peoples believes and things like that but when it came to my parents it was a different story, even tho it should not be)
Thank you Irene snd Seth.
TRULY!!!
Another deep and eye opening video of the importance of healing the nervous system. I could relate to MANY of Seth’s avoidance behaviors, symptoms, and searching for help. Every layer we can get to…. Even the really HARD deep ones, chip away at our debilitating survival stress.
I love you two! I love that you incorporate not just science… but the integration work of,
BODY…MIND AND
SOUL.
It seems that the integrity of that trinity is key to lasting wholeness and PEACE.
Peace of mind.. peace in the body and I feel the rest will follow.
Just the fact that Seth said he could chill and take a nap, brought tears to my heart. Because I have been there for years. I have severe disorderly anxiety and broke from chronic traumas in 2018. I have lived dizzy 24/7 for 4 years now. There is nothing medically wrong as I have stellar health. So this feels like nervous system DISREGULATION and all the collateral damage that comes with it. I STILL get out and live my life best I can as I don’t like to give up. I go grocery shop.. I do it all, even when my body is giving me a hard time. Some days … I don’t and just rest. But I will listen to more healing education. I haven’t gotten good at Meditation…. Yet. Some day I can see myself on a rock by the beach in peace with my world meditating with gratitude. 🌈🌈
At 69, I am one that cannot afford the SBSM course…
But I still work hard at listing to all Irene’s work, AND apply all I can know from this GREAT healing channel.
I will get there too. Healing my traumas.
Thank you from the bottom and TOP of my heart.🙏🙏❤️❤️
AND P.S.
Please don’t stop educating us dear Irene 😢🙏. People like me that want to learn and heal our lives need you here and the resources we can get. Time is so precious to me at 69 and I BELIEVE I deserve to have health AND JOY for the rest of my life. ❤️
Eileen, Jen here from Team Lyon. It's great to hear that Irene and Seth's work resonates with you so deeply. It sounds like you're using their resources to support your healing, so I wanted to make sure you were aware of the free practices Irene offers. I'll link to them below.
I also hear that SBSM is not an option at this point, and wanted to make sure you knew about the 21 Day Nervous System Tune Up. It's Irene's starter course. It's self-study and you can go through it over and over. You also have the opportunity to ask questions about your experience and have them answered by trained nervous system professionals. I'll link to more info in case you'd like to learn more.
And Irene also offers monthly Drop In classes. It's a great way to learn from Irene live, spend some time in a healing field, and you get the recording to review as many times as you like. Drop In classes are $19 USD. Hopefully you'll find some things in here to support you as you live in to the joy and health you are creating for yourself!
Here's the free resources page - irenelyon.com/free-resources-2/
And here's a playlist of the practices she offers on YT - ua-cam.com/play/PL_tIcR-r0CU5Xss_Mq1buU-tWdYVQksjI.html
21 Day Nervous System Tune Up - 21daytuneup.com
Drop In Classes - irenelyon.com/drop-in-class-1
I'm an SBSM alumni (2/2020). Listening to this discussion now, I realized that I've been wanting to do this work without involving my body. I had a sudden memory of when I was 10 years old, watching the original Star Trek TV series. There was an episode where the antagonists turned out to be 2 brains in glass bubbles/jars. My reaction: "Yes! I want to be that!" How easy, fun, safe... whatever. The mere thought of sensing my body senda my mind into a tailspin of "I don't know how. What am I supposed to do? I don't know what I'm feeling." Each attempt to sense my body had to be accompanied with my internal voice telling me what I'm doing and how it feels, in order for me to feel it. Whoa!!! Great stuff. And I have been working with the education/information in SBSM which is incredible, invaluable. I've gained so much capacity to stay in the present and out of my head. And that work is what allowed me to finally "hear" what Irene and Seth are saying today. I feel braver and more able to really start to sense my body, and accept whatever I sense as ok and go from there. Thank you.
hey! im thinking about doing the program, but the price is a lot for me. Is it worth the money or would you recommend something else.
@@geeb3376 Irene Lyon is by far the best educator/practitioner you'll find anywhere. SBSM is truly a priceless investment in yourself. That being said, if paying for this large, in depth program will cause you more stress, Irene is the first person to tell you, take advantage of her extensive free resources. You'll learn a lot from these. Or, you can purchase the 21 Day Tube, work through that. SBSM will be offered again. You have to lean into yourself, what are your sensing? A true feeling that now is the time to start this journey? Can you find a way to pay for it that doesn't stress you? This course is priceless. If you do the work, at your own pace, you will benefit.
Thank you for this. i can totally relate to Seth"s experience, and coping mechanisms. i am currently in a C_PTSD flare and realize how small my life is getting due to isolating when i feel like this, it has deeply affected my life. i joined SBSM many years ago and was never able to follow through with it, avoidance is one of my coping mechanisms. and am thrilled that when i checked yesterday to see if i could join this time around, my invitation was already there. and so yes, i will join again and hopefully follow through . because at 51 this anxiety and withdrawal from life is getting very old... i need to rekindle my spirit and heal finally. thank you, for keeping the doors open to those who have paid, even many years ago, to begin again.
Shauna, great to hear that you'll be joining us for this round of SBSM this round! - Jen from Team Lyon
Hello to you from Az,
After reading your testimonial.. I found a lot of similar experiences as I myself am trying to recover from severe GAD.. symptoms and life. I am 69, and I still feel the tug of war ti just avoid.. or manage. That does not mean I am not doing alot of work too.
I just wanted to let you know.. I SEE you… and you are not alone. I Am also fighting to save my life and I KNOW it’s there. Time has become so precious and so are we and we DESERVE to live in peace and wellness
BODY… MIND and SOUL.
I offer my hand. We are in this together🙏🙏🌈🌈
It's not how big or little the events are. That . Thankyou both so much. ❤️
I've listened to some parts more than twice, I can't believe the way my day to day unfolds is due to trauma...I thought it was just the way I am...
His story could be said by me!! It was in the air. Constant anticipation. Totally understand the raising your child just like you did. Wow!
I recognise myself completely in all this, and I can’t really belive how much I’ve healed already just by listening to all of Irenes different materials. It’s like life has been survival and suffering, but not being able to explain it or why to anyone. Like just being alive is painful, yet ”knowing” this is probably not like it should be. But not having a clue what the ”answer” would be. It’s been a long road and one part of me feels a bit sad, because I would have so much to be able to give this to my younger self. However, my main motivation has always been becoming a healed parent. Even before becoming one! My oldest is now 8 and I have not been regulated these 8 years. Even when doing my very very best, I’ve made some mistakes. These last year since I’ve found this, so much have changed and like you say in the video - the whole family dynamic is so much easier, calm and loving - even in the rougher times, I feel more calm and less reactive. It’s like it’s easier to think! And also I have so much more even energy througout the days and not being constantly like worried, stressed and fatigued. THIS life is my dream coming true, the dream I had but could never formulate. Thank you sooo much!! ❤
Another great chat. Can't get enough of your talks!
"I don't know who I am anymore." Can't tell you how many times I've wondered who I am these last few years, especially since finding your work. But in a good way! I know I'm finally growing and getting unstuck.
I'm 57 and still wondering who I am
@@reallythere I used to think it was a good thing to be so sure of who I was. In truth I was just scared to actually live.
Thank you both SO much for this incredible conversation.🙏 I can't believe how much I relate to Seth's story!
I too experienced significant stress very early in life - both in utero and at birth when I was removed from my mother and then lay in an orphanage for 2 weeks before being adopted by a well meaning completely dysregulated family who chose to lie about my being adopted when I asked at 12/13, and then finally told me the truth when I was 44. I refer to the revelation as 'the dropping of the bomb' as it seems to be the event that finally undid me completely (collapse perhaps).
Of course that undoing has led me to discover my authentic self, so I'm starting to see it as a blessing. Prior to that, as Seth said, I had absolutely no idea who I was or what I truly wanted. In fact recently, I've observed a tendency in me to check out or at least consciously choose to ignore my own feelings, needs and wants when they come up, if I am not paying close attention, for fear of being 'wrong' and risking abandonment by the family/tribe.
I have been seeing an SE Therapist for over 2.5 years now, and outside of that working on myself on a daily basis. The change to my capacity has been huge! ❤
Growing up as a lonely only child with disconnected parents, I find it hard to express my emotions
Same experience here. My psychologist always tries to bring me back from rationalising everything (that's my go-to defense mechanism from early childhood, really) to my feelings. They're very hard to dig up sometimes.
Brilliant talk have so many parallels with seth and his experiences especially when the restaurant looking at another table was mentioned , wow i used to do this a lot when in pubs and restaurants , even had someone come up to me once and say what you looking at! I was mortified i did not understand exactly why i used to do this at the time and it made me feel quite uncomfortable, at last i know why i did this i was looking for potential danger, i also used to modify myself to different situations and fawn round people, i often feel safer doing things on my own and dont like been told to constantly go from one task to another, my job can be quite stressful, since doing this work i have realized i have probably been in a state of flight/freeze for decades but just lived with it because i thought this was normal for me, thankyou for your amazing work i am looking forward to more shifts in sbsm sept 2022 my 3rd time on the course all the best x
I understand your caution regarding not doing too much. I struggle with that because I seem to have the opposite problem at times where I don’t push myself enough because of fear. I’ve had to push past that in order to make progress. I guess it’s like you have said in other videos that I have to experiment and see what works and what doesn’t. I really understand now that this can’t be a “cookie cutter” approach to this! Thank you!
Wow. Can’t wait to dig into this interview.
My favourite video yet (and I’m moving through them at pace 😂). Thank you, Seth, for sharing your story so eloquently and candidly. So much empathy and resonance on my part. I had a significant realisation around in person therapy. In the past I just fell into a survival response; eg - in my ONE consultation with a psychotherapist I basically spent an hour proving to him that I was okay, via how much I knew and understood about myself. Because convincing myself I am okay has been a lifelong necessity. He concurred I was a marvel (didn’t know what to do with me, seemingly 😬).
BUT; in following your 21 day programme, Irene, and truly becoming my own therapist, I now FEEL that I AM OKAY, even when I’m not having the best time, because I have ways of being, and tools that I now know can get me back there, to regulation. In essence; I’m feeling some biological safety for the first time in my life (actually tearing up writing that).
Also, I worked as pro singer/dancer for 18 years in hotels and on cruise liners. I was the epitome of a social butterfly; chameleon really. I was able to expertly adapt my personality to literally anyone (the rich and famous folk I met and dined with, even royalty). This was of huge advantage to me professionally, known for my social light and graces, but I felt SO ill. I wanted to be locked in my cabin alone so often, even when in the most stunning parts of the world, which made me feel like a miserable and ungrateful person. Not quite sure how I stuck it out so long, except to say that I had been a proficient actress pretty much all of my life. Now, here I am, recognising who I actually am, more and more each day 🙏❤️🩹
@vickioxenham7032, Jen here from Irene's Team. Thanks for sharing this - it's uplifting to hear about the changes that you've created for yourself!
Great talk ❤Every time I listen to you both,
its deepening the understandingly of the work.
Made this note on my phone and thought I'd share here!!
Nervous system regulation steps
1. Become embodied. Intentionally allocate time towards this throughout each day. This practice builds your capacity to tap into and be with intense emotions and sensation in general
2. Expose yourself to safe situations which will 'trigger' you in a mildly overwhelming way
3. Be with these 'triggers' with your newfound capacity. Feel them as deeply as you can and allow them to evolve (eg. Anxiety to sadness to calm) and pass through you
❤️
Thank you both for this conversation. This was extremely helpful. I did the last round of SBSM and many questions that I have been pondering were addressed here. Looking forward to the next session to begin.
Thank you both for this conversation. It is wonderfull and honest. Hard to listen because it openes that spot that this is not an easy road, and it takes a years of practice, but as Seth said it gets better, it doesnt stay stuck as it was before doing this work❤️
This hits close to home. I'm actually really good socially if it's a smaller group or one on one. Always in small doses only. Otherwise I feel my nervous system can handle it.
The best discussion for me so far and I thank you both. When Seth talks about how it felt like dying to ask his son to do things I really felt that and now see my patterns more clearly.
This is freaking brilliant. I thank you both for making this video. I was reluctant to listen to it incase it made me feel worse about myself and my parenting mistakes but halfway through I realise this talk is just what I need to keep on keeping on and working through the SBSM programme. I relate to so much of what u share Seth. I have 2 teenage daughters. I had a difficult dsyregulated weekend doing something way out of comfort zone and have been beating myself up it and about how I couldn't apply my SBSM skills in the moment. I just need to give myself a break and continue to work on my regulation and building my capacity. I totally believe in this work bc I see how it is helping me and the more I do the more it helps. Thank you 😊 💓
Another premature adult child over here! 10 weeks. Thanks for sharing Seth! I see a lot of my story in yours.
Million Thanks 👍🙏 so helpful, confirming
Soooo greateful for you, Irene, and Seth ❤️ This plattform of knowledge and understanding means a lot to me 🙏💞
Thanks Irene, Seth and Team Lyon for putting SBSM and everything else online. I would have never been able to access this information and training in person otherwise. I have signed up for SBSM Sept 2022 and I’m looking forward to it. I have resonated with so many things that you have both shared. Resistance is a big issue with me right now but I’m finding these videos are really helping with disarming/dissolving that struggle. I keep watching your videos, reading your lessons on your web pages and working through 21 Day tune up. All of those resources have helped me to have the clarity and confidence that I have made the right decision to commit the time and money for SBSM.
Darrin J, looking forward to seeing you in this round of SBSM! - Jen from Team Lyon
Thanks for joining us Darrin! Definitely check out the Pre-Game Video Series in the Orientation Menu of the SBSM site. The very first one is about working with resistance :)
Great conversation! I appreciate the relatability while providing amazing teachings. Love you guys! ❤
Thanks Tamar!!
Wow!! What a fantastic interview… thank you helping me to feel hopeful ❤
Well that is me to ta tee. I can't stand being around many ppl it takes too much energy trying to figure out how to respond.
I just learnt Irene means peace in Greek
Bless you for sharing and spreading the love :-)
This is an amazing conversation, thank you. I so wish it would be available to watch after today, as I know many people who could benefit from watching this. Keep up the good work!
Hi Sinta! The replay is available here for anyone to watch :)
@@sethlyon4064 Thanks, but I thought it will only be available until the end of today?
@@sintaebersohn - nope! It will stay on Irene's channel with the rest of her videos :)
@@sethlyon4064 Fantastic! 🌟
You can also just look it up by the title on UA-cam
Concerning the Baja incident, can you please please please share how Seth followed up with his son after that moment of 'healthy shame'!? Did Seth support and reenforce Irene's boundary, or did Seth apologize to the kid for it happening etc ... This is such an important part that I think we need to know in order to understand this shift fully. Thank you so very much for sharing your amazing work! 💗
Hi Lindee, Seth here. I followed up with my son and let him know I loved him, and that I understood it may be difficult for him at times, for me to have a new person in my life that he has to share me with, and that respecting people's conversations and not interrupting is important.
"they pull on the flesh less" That hit hard.
interesting discussion on "failure to launch". im one of those adult chicks who has failed to thrive due to complex PTSD. i wish id gotten this type of therapy at age 18 and still wish my mom would stop pushing psychiatric medication on me. that stance of hers along with a kinda "fake it til you make it" attitude highlights the roots of the issue why i might "need" psychiatric medication imo.
Emily Porter, Jen here from Team Lyon. You may have gleaned this from watching Irene's videos, and when we learn and practice this nervous system work we can grow the ability to launch at any age in our lives. If you're here, it's not too late.
At 50 now I've gotten the stellate ganglion block to help with the overwhelming emotions when intrusive thoughts poke my brain... its was done through a pain specialist that has been actually listening to me. Spondylitis is something I've lived with for over 25 years...describing the pain as a " tendinitis " of the neck... he has done shots that changed my world... this SGB is dealing with the the core issue of a ptsd developed in infancy... what are your thoughts about blocking the sympathetic nervous system...
Katherine - Mara here with Team Lyon. It sounds like this is supporting you in a way that has been helpful. Since the resources and teachings that Irene offers are educational, it's outside of our scope to comment on such a medical procedure. Without understanding its reversibility, percent effectiveness, etc, it's quite hard to know. Our physiology is meant to have a natural cycling between sympathetic and parasympathetic states. Without some sympathetic energy, we have a hard time engaging with the world. With too much, we also have a hard time. Perhaps this intervention has put you in a place where you are now able to learn more how to regulate your nervous system to complement the effects of the SGD.
@Irene Lyon I can't do the work, without a supporting environment it's leaving me no choice but to isolate. Watching A LOT of Highway To Heaven... ❤️
It's very interesting how Seth describes becoming this different person depending who he's with. I feel like that sometimes. I feel like I behave differently depending on who I'm with. Does this change with time and doing the work?
fuerstin77, Jen here from Team Lyon. Yes, this does change with time and doing this work as we both deepen our access to ourselves and our ability to stay connected to this when in the presence of others.
ah wauw, the explanation of Seth: How do I shape myself with all these people, so that they do not kill me. wow. You know I truly know what you are talking about. Social situations, or people in general, often seem like a threat to me. This is because my parents often made me feel like I was flawed and that I should be different. And what I like is that you can talk about all these things. That it may be there, acknowledged. With my house, I have tried to begin some family therapy etc and it was good, but now I just try to pretend everything is good because then theyll be the happiest. When I am just happy. But I am not. And it is pretty hard to have all these needs, which you dont know how to address in your world. Anyway, I am hopefull, and jealous, of your development. I wanted to ask, do you think one can start this work too young? Probably not. And another question, how did the somatic sessions you did, Seth, feel? Did you enjoy going there or was it a struggle also. How did you feel safe in the sessions? Because I tried some counselling but I could not et myself be..
Anyway, thank you for your opennnes.
abce k, Jen here from Team Lyon. If you're here, watching these videos about learning about this nervous system way of healing, then you are old enough to explore to this work in the way that Irene teaches.
As for the somatic sessions, I'll ask Seth if he wants to chime in about that.
@@IreneLyon okay thanks, although he answered more of my question later on!
What do you do if you had to adapt to someone (mother) who was very very changeable? One day she was fine but the next she. would scream for 2- 3 hours about nothing - something that was more in her mind than in reality..Then next day she would be somewhat there somewhat not , but things were okay again. Other times overly loving and smothering. - back and forth. Dad had died when I was. a. toddler so I was only one that mom was bouncing off of. Yet people around us would say that mom was stressed and I needed to understand her. I was a perfect child, but really couldn't be good enough.. But then I was told I was too quiet and bookish and needed to be more assertive (she didn't use that. term back then of course. ). When was my chance to be assertive? Even if I was happy and laughed loudly with other kids then the way home I was really bawled out. But then other times she didn't do that, so who knows what was right or wrong. I know different people want different things, but this was the same person who always wanted something different.
Is that why I'm time challenged-? - I'm either too late. or. (doesn't make sense). too early..
Hello, Sophia from Team Lyon here. Moderators are no longer covering this channel. They are, however, active in, and fully support our programs. You can learn more about those programs here irenelyon.com/programs/. If you're curious about working with your nervous system you can check out this free training irenelyon.com/healing-trauma-training-2023/ . I hope this helps!
Thinking about sbsm course, but am in a different time zone. Would missing the lives have much impact?
Hi btblou - not really! Many of our participants are in different time zones. Everything is recorded and the replays are posted to the site afterwards.
Hi, i was a preemie. And im realizing this may be a big root issue now that i heard to speak on it. How do i reach and rewire that trauma? I have felt very unincluded and locked out, left behind in things my whole life.
Hi Trinity, Seth here. Simply put - start doing the work :) Either in Irene's 21 Day Tune Up, and.or the next time we run SBSM, and/or with a good somatic practitioner. Some links to explore these thing below...
21 Day Tune Up - 21daytuneup.com/
SBSM - smartbodysmartmind.com/
How to find a good somatic practitioner - ua-cam.com/video/04XF7ANnqGk/v-deo.html
I had to drink alcohol, i was alcoholic in AA which was only place i felt safe, i ran out on my mother friends 80th, we were supposed to do dance together but i couldn't, i had to drink for funerals, in morning, i was sick with digestive problem, ended up in hospital weighing 31 kilos, i'm 5'4 nearly died, i got well but no AA anymore, i take add meds and hide away alone at home, my cat disappeared, on last friday, grief stricken ragdoll, i have no friends i can call on just my npd sisters who are abusive but they can be kind too, one is betterthan other! I have no husband or children, i am 60! I'm in fight flight mode sometimes, lot better than when young, was mess, i am addict, on medical marijuana in evening. I paint and swimming regulates me!
When you're a child and you're laughed at for example when you're too ashamed to order an ice cream, does that also create toxic shame? Or does there have to be the unfriendly voice?
Hi fuerstin77, Seth here with Team Lyon. Yes, something like that certainly can create a toxic shame response in the child, though, as with all experiences, the impact may vary from kid to kid based on their history, resilience, personality, etc.. Any time we are told that we are unacceptable, unwanted, not good enough, or even when we aren't taken seriously, or attuned to well, these can all create a toxic imprint of unhealthy shame.
💙
❤
I am about 38 minutes in with the story on Seth’s son in Baha. I am truly confused about this snapping, I think Irene called it, when he interrupted. The healthy shame. I don’t understand why it had to be snappy .. Can’t you just say it in a nicer way, like explain that it’s impolite to interrupt and to say “excuse me” if it’s important or otherwise wait? I don’t see the point of being so harsh that it sends a child to tears. This is really, really bothering me and I hope to get a response. Was it intentional to be so gruff? If not I can understand that sometimes we react in a harsher manner due to whatever is going on at the moment - but I am very curious if this was intentional and, if so, why? It seems to go against other things that I have learned from you over the years.
Hi Tova. I know she says 'I snapped', but it wasn't actually snappy or harsh at all. It was simply direct and clear and enforced a boundary that he wasn't used to. That's why he had the tears and got upset - because of the novelty of the experience and how it challenged his expectations - not because of any meanness. And the end result was more closeness.
I agree with you. It bothers me too. I watch this video yesterday, and I can't stop thinking about it. In this specific situation too much responsibility was put on his son, and making him feel so unwelcome was completely unnecessary. Neither Seth and Irene put to use and exercise their awareness, knowledge and experience, and mostly compassion toward a child.💜
@@sethlyon4064 I really was enjoying the video till you guys shared the story about your son interrupting Irene talking to you. It bothers me a lot. She was not giving a lecture or a speech. You simply spun up the circumstances into a teaching lesson for your child, and sent him to tears. Irene's reaction was not snappy and harsh from your perception, so what brought tears to his eyes? Neither of you exercised your wisdom, your knowledge, awareness and mostly love and empathy toward a child. What was wrong about him joining the conversation? I hope you reached out to your son to listen how he felt, how he was affected and help him process, heal from this completely unnecessary, unloving experience.
@@annajaworska3627 - I hear that you are upset. I will try my best to explain again.
Joining a conversation is different than rudely interrupting someone. Those are the kinds of healthy boundaries and discernment I was not able to communicate to him, which is why he didn't know it was not ok to do. When someone firmly, but not unkindly, pointed that out to him (Irene) is was a shock to his system, hence the tears.
Tears are not necessarily a bad thing. Sometimes kids get upset when they don't get what they want, or are learning a new lesson that challenges their previous expectations. That was the case here.
Me trying to protect him from feeling any such upset, ever, was the problematic issue in the first place. Sometimes kids will get upset as they learn, especially when something that has been an issue with the parent needs correcting, and the behavior changes. Given that, what happened in this experience was absolutely necessary and the most loving thing that could have happened. Yes, of course I followed up later and as we noted in the video, he was much closer to Irene after this experience. Sometimes, especially when it comes to parenting, what is loving and correct doesn’t always feel nice in the moment.
I’m hearing a lot of painful feelings, and fairly harsh judgment about this experience, which you didn't actually witness. Given that, and the fact that you were so upset that you couldn’t stop thinking about it, I would invite you to consider if perhaps your own trauma may be getting triggered here.
I like the fact that ure in two different homes haha anyway. I suffer from chronic pain like permanent headaches since my 17years and also i hear sounds in my ear that are so annoyiing my left ear since my 15 birthday and digestion issues at my 13yo basically i had à very Hard teenagerhood and its where my health issues and chronique pains begin am at my 24 and its only getting worse unfortunally its so Hard to foolow my studies like that but im sstruglling and at the point of getting my degree hopefully i live in a household were i suffer from comlpete ignorance i speak french not english so its Hard for me to understand it all at the video also to write in english its my third language whom i dont use of t'en and is not necessary in my country but im trying to learn it better anyway i grew up in pure ignorance and neglect being the only unwanted forgoten girl with the most misoginistic father he never admits to me am hes girl i Never heard the world my girl from any of them am supposed to raise and provid at à certain âge also am not aloud to talk or speak or look at them in the eyes or i Will get hit at the head and face just am féminine and i dont know what the issue with that they never want to hear my female voice or have any contact with me such as eye contact they act like id dont exist since forever i felt unseen unexisting and had as they say à quite childgood but i was freezed and with the begining of my teenagerhood and specially me entring relationships and love life my trauma just rised and flowted up top so now i cant get rid of it and tried suicide twice but Who cares i feel at danger and scared and a lot of things i feel like they are afraid i seduce them its so sick but i feel like that since they dont give me any affection just pure hâte and sickness whom i Will never accept at all i had that feeling since forever i dont know if its an intrusive thaugh or the truth but as id believe that i get much better i cant get it out of my head i believe strongly in it and its the truth cauz i see in there acts no matter what they say.
Hi Kaoutar Kacha, Seth here with Team Lyon. It sounds like you grew up with a lot of neglect and abuse ands that no one ever really saw you, or appreciated you for who you are. That's very hard to be sure! I'm sorry you went through that. The symptoms you describe make sense given that upbringing, and they can change and get better! I recommend starting to explore this work in a way that is a good fir for you. This could mean just continuing to learn from Irene on this channel, checking out the free resources on her website, attending one of her monthly drop-in classes, joining one of her online programs, and/or seeking help from a good somatic practitioner. There's lots of ways to get started, and this work can really help! I'll put some links to check out below.
Free Resources - irenelyon.com/free-resources-2/
Drop-In Class - irenelyon.com/drop-in-class-1
Drop-In Class Replays - irenelyon.com/drop-in-class-replays/
21 Day Nervous System Tune-Up - 21daytuneup.com/
How to find a good Somatic Practitioner - ua-cam.com/video/04XF7ANnqGk/v-deo.html
I think society in general you’re expected to change to suit the environment. That’s school, that’s night time at home, that is in a movie theater - so some of that I think is just engrained. Fitting in. Being part of a group; being accepted is soooo critical to humans, as you know, because not fitting in meant death.
So it’s already just a natural part of us. So. Where it turns dysfunctional .. I don’t know. I’d love feedback.
So many people aren’t really comfortable in their skin. I don’t think I know a single person. Certainly society ensures to the best they can that we are not ok how we are or they can’t sell the clothes and the makeup and the nose jobs and the like. The cool cars that tell people how much money you make, etc. You can’t be balding - oh no, wear a hat or get a hair graft. That is everywhere. How does anyone just be who they are with true authenticity? Oof.
This in reply to topic about 19 minutes in with Seth
@@tovahooper2125 - This brings to mind the old Krishnamurti quote - 'It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society'. So many of our societal norms and expectations are toxic to the human being. Finding and expressing our authenticity isn't about making waves all over the place and challenging things left and right though, it's not about creating more friction. From my experience it means being able to show up in a powerfully present way that changes the room around you, that changes the field, so to speak, such that toxic societal norms simply no longer apply.
this is not true that if you do not have children you do not know how challenging it feels to challenge your children because I have the same thing with my parents, when I "talk back" to them, basically I challenge their view and their believes when I know that some things they do are not right and I call them out on it, boy it feels like my whole body is shaking but I still do it because I have kind of learned that it goes both ways, a parents is not always right but a child is also not always right either and there should be a healthy amount of conversation and sharing and being open and honest about this things but since my parents where also violent to worth me and I fired their reaction and how they are never going to speak to me ever again and things like that if I speak up, it is uncomfortable but I found it to be very helpful in the long run because you don't let other stump on you anymore (not literally, I never had that with other people or to challenge other peoples believes and things like that but when it came to my parents it was a different story, even tho it should not be)