This video made me cry… cry for 60 years of living with the results of trauma, for the most part not knowing it was trauma and endlessly looking for a solution, which I was never able to find. But meanwhile I do know about trauma and have enrolled in SBSM to work on it, step by step. Thank you Irene for all your brilliant work 💝.
We're in the same boat. I've been absolutely crippled by trauma all my life. I'm 57 and just beginning to learn about how it affected me. It's a miracle I haven't taken my own life as I've struggled with suicidal thoughts quite frequently. I wish you all the best. I'm just hoping I can heal before I take my last breath.
71 here and just found out about CPTSD a few months ago. Feeling overwhelmed with grief and fatigue and thinking I may never experience authentic love with another. Found Irene's videos just a few weeks ago and managed to enroll in SBSM. Am also shakily working my way through a book by Pete Walker called COMPLEX PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving, also the name of a great UTube video by South Pacific Private. I feel mangled but the people we become by doing this work must be the new humanity.
It is never too late! I am 61 and feel much the same way. I am so grateful that I found this work. It is a slow process. I have tried more than my fair share of healing modalities “looking for a cure”. This is the only thing that has begun the healing process along with individualized work. Keep going 😊
You put my exact feelings and experiences into words: almost 61 here and yes, feeling overwhelmed by grief and fatigue, yes, having found Irene’s work a few weeks ago, yes, having enrolled in SBSM, and yes, looking for authentic love with all my heart ❤️. Which goes to show that we’re not alone, not by far, which is comforting and encouraging. Thank you for being here and loving yourself enough to find the courage to do this step by step work. Much love, Mai from Holland 🇳🇱.
We’re presented with a life that brings up our stuff to struggle with, channels like this, Scott Kiloby, Russell Kennedy give us the tools to make it through. And you’ll make it through. My journey started in South Pacific Private rehab 6 years ago, I got off all the stuff I was addicted to and I’ve struggled with raw nerves ever since- every challenge to deal with is deeper and tougher than the last! It feels like a process to dissolve the ego and replace thinking with faith in the reality of always just this. Sending you all my love and best wishes. You got this 🙏
I’ve been learning to regulate my nervous system. I’m noticing I’m sabotaging my health, eg eating surgery foods, not exercising, going to bed late. I understand why I’m doing what I’m doing. I just need to keep going.
Youve imparted a very good explanation of self sabatoge. I can now reframe what I go through and I understand why more than I did before. It might now be more natural for me to see life occurances more optimistically.
Thank you so much, I’ve just started SBSM 12 week program. It’s triggering me a lot, I just feel so traumatised and frozen. Not thinking of giving up, but feel absolute flawed right now. So hearing your voice and advice here is priceless thank you Irene 🙏
Hi Stuart, yes it’s hard to face all those triggers that come up through SBSM, isn’t it? I like to think of it as a child learning how to walk. They will fall down hundreds of times, but will always get up and try again. That perseverance is still within us, so, like you said, we’re not thinking of giving up 🥳! Good luck on your SBSM journey, perhaps I’ll see you on the inside (I’m Mai from Holland) 😉.
Hey Mai and Stuart; I’m Lorinda from 🇨🇦. Also in SBSM (1st time). Looking forward to this opportunity to begin healing at the Nervous System level. Also a 1st time journey, and I’m 56. 🤗nice to be doing the same workings with you. Lorinda
Where do I Start? Lost our son 2 yrs 4 months ago and 1 year 10 months later my body started reacting strange. Screaming, convulsions, absentia, hurting myself etc ... The is is Long. Ended up in psychiatric hospital, out after 3 weeks. I feel so guilty for feeling better, but worse. I don't know who I am. I just want to go HOME. Also feeling guilty, because I have so much to be grateful for. Which video do I Start watching? Been admitted
Hi Stuart Hendry, Jen here from Team Lyon. It's good to hear that this video or Irene's was helpful to hear. And know that you're definitely not alone - for those of us who have spent many years (or even decades) in freeze/conservation physiology, it can take time to thaw. Hope to see you somewhere around SBSM.
‘A committed slow day by day learning of a new language’. This! As someone with ME/CFS for over twenty years I can promise that it’s only when I made this commitment to the work did I see any real improvement. I often equate it to addictions, healing is a day by day lifelong commitment. I have more energy now than twenty years ago, even five years ago, and an acceptance that my energy is always going to be limited; but my enjoyment of life and each moment is greater too as the trauma heals.
Great work Jan! I'm 29 and my ME/CFS has occurred more recently, thank you for sharing that your seeing improvements with the work! Have you every felt like you need a practitioner too, or do you feel like this work is enough? Thanks!
@@djVania08 Hi Ivan, yes I did. I'm in a health crisis still but trying to implement exercises from the SBSM course as well as trying to work with a practitioner, thank you :)
This is a very good video - thank you! I really appreciated the likening to school and feeling dumb, and not capable. I come from one of those homes where things weren’t abusive, but there was a lack of emotional support and care, and then I was sent to boarding school which was an abuse (and for anyone reading this who may have a similar experience, it is a syndrome and not a privilege). It has taken me 20 years to drop in deeper and deeper to begin to feel my body, feel more regulated and capable. It began with “telling without talking” - by using art to give voice, to begin to look at myself and start to think about my feelings and reactions. And now I am building into talking about it, learning to trust. There are so many pieces that have needed repair along the way - a sense of safety; a home that safe, a loving relationship, good people to share with, and on and on. But when you said it is LIFELONG PRACTICE, that really clicked for me and I appreciate your honesty. I am kinda having a “duh moment here - but so glad for it to be so clear. To everyone out there suffering, just keep trying to put some pieces together. In my experience, none of it made sense until i pursued it enough for it to start to make sense. We are so good at surviving and keeping it all tight in, and terrified of how it will be or who we will be if we let it out - but it is the only path to feeling better - that path of vulnerability. ❤ and this comment section is full of vulnerability - thanks all❤
Great information in this video, thank you for sharing. I am hoping to work with you at some point in the future. I am absorbing as much information as I can until then. Much gratitude for you and your team. ❤️
Hi, I just subscribed my name on the waiting list for the next SBSM run, and then saw this video. I can relate to all 4 things, but especially the perfection and the fleeing from health. I know those two palls so good, that I can already feel the despair rising inside: "you know you cannot do this. You know you will drop out and fail". I was encouraged by this video of yours and hope to remain this hopeful till the registration next week. Kind regards, Barbara
So glad I found your videos Irene your approach To healing trauma is much needed I have suffered for decades not really understanding myself at all and developing a very unkind attitude towards myself I’m starting to understand what my real problems are at the age of 56 and I’m grieving so much wasted Time sometimes I cry so hard because I know the potential that I have I just want to be me and experience freedom and joy
Hey John, Seth here with Team Lyon. Thanks so much for sharing this, and for being here! I'm so glad you found Irene and this work. It really can help so much! I hope you get inspired to dive into doing the work :) You certainly can experience the joy of being authentically you. It something that took me a while to achieve for sure, it just takes excavating ourselves from the conditioning and trauma that was heaped on us. You can do it!
@@louellenhackel9310 - Seth here with Team Lyon. so glad you found us! Thanks for being here and learning. I hope you explore Irene's website too, and the many free resources available there.
My heart goes out to you. I hope to enroll soon. The potential that you feel you have, I feel that too. Like what could I have done in and for the world had I been whole.
Thankyou for being here. For me sundays trigger off anxiety for me and I kinda know why but today I am feeling really low and watching this gave me some hope.
phil russell, Jen here from Team Lyon. It's good to hear that watching this video gave you some hope. I'll link to two of Irene's free resources that can sometimes be helpful when anxiety shows up in case you want to check them out. DIY Ancient Anxiety Medicine - ua-cam.com/video/0ICsbXUCKmM/v-deo.html&lc=UgzKvm65Pqe9xARznlN4AaABAg 4 Simple Steps to Calm Overwhelm - irenelyon.com/4-steps-to-calm-overwhelm/
Thank you Irene! I am an alumni since 2019. These four barriers show themselves daily. This discussion shined the light on the “circle of darkness” of these 4 automatic responses that pull me out of the driver’s seat. Another chink in the armor has occurred! Thank you to you and your team!
Your comment that feeling better sometimes feels so foreign that it keeps us from seeing our progress hit home for me. I remember thinking that living in the present moment even for part of a day felt phony - there was no baggage and pain so it didn’t feel like I was myself. This work takes so long and I need help recognizing progress so I don’t get discouraged and quit. Thanks for your video support.
I have had full-blown panic attacks, but what I dread even more is the Dead Zone of severe depression. To me, this is true hell-on-earth. It may be frozen, rather than fiery, but it is hell. I am grateful beyond words that new theories & therapies are being developed to treat trauma experienced in the earliest, pre-verbal, stages of life, & that the "freeze" response is being given its due along with fight or flight. Thank you, Irene Lyon, for your important work!
I’m new to your videos, and I want to say thank you! I've been on a healing journey most of my adult life. I didn't have the understanding and the right support to find my way through much of the traumatization. And many times I have felt I was sliding back or not doing it right. Even finding what works best for me has been a challenge.
I really appreciate the way the background environment around you, and your wardrobe, is so free of conflict, with a peaceful amount of contrast. Thank you.
That was AMAZING! As I was listening to your videos I almost felt asleep and I zoned out!! I new it’s was a defence but couldn’t control. As soon I saw the FEAR card I felt more awake and able to be present. Very interesting!!
My mother is a perfectionist. And if I do something it is never good enough. I have anxiety and many fears and unsecurity scince I was a litlle child. I have BPD diagnosis, as a personality type. I do youre course SBSM, and threw everything that I learned and tried to do, I know that a have a lot of toxic shame. It is a scence of not being good enough to be better. So, as I said it, Im doing things with toxic shame, and it is working with disgust wich comes up orginacally. I cant explain how much this thing gets traped, and toxic to our children, because Im parent also. It is not easy. And Im greatfull for starting this lifelong journey. Also Im greatfull for youre anouncment of working on toxic shame even more threw SBSM course. Thanks
OMG you just described my body when you referenced this isn't normal and we can't do this. I can't tell you how many times I have put something new in place and it goes well for a short time and then BAM back into business as usual. You just keep proving to me that I'm in the right place, doing the right thing. Thank you
I so relate to this. I started the 21-day nervous system tune-up in 2020. I got to day 5 then gave up. I felt like a failure again for not keeping up with the program. The daily emails, my toxic shame, an unhealthy living environment,. engrained dysfunctional patterns (freeze). This is exactly why I haven't made progress. Makes me cry.
Irene's work is excellent...for education & bringing awareness. But please don't berate yourself - traumatized people need a live, trauma educated, compassionate therapist to help move through these patterns to healing.
This is so timely. I needed the motivation to break things down into little time chunks, and let that be ok. Daily care and not a performance of worth.
Hi Irene, thanks for the well timed encouragement! I'm slower in Yr 2 than Yr 1. Also more confused and overwhelmed from very earlier on this year. I've gone back to transcripts to help lessen the activation. Still, I believe, the tortoise can win the race..!! 🤣🙏🤞
Thankyou Irene. I just completed a 21 day journey with a colleague of yours and am feeling a lot of anxiety and fear in the pit of my stomach. This explains it very well. Thanks for all the information that you provide ❤️
The biggest problem for me is not to feel these feelings. BUT to process them in a way, that other people will not notice as much. It simply is not socially accepted to feel especially anger in our western culture. A costumer was rude to me, and I just reacted angry (just for myself I didnt act out!). And immediately the colleague said, I shouldnt be angry. It is really a sick culture if you ask me. Every sensation has to be suppressed. No wonder there are more and more sick human beings who suffer from all sorts of conditions! So what I have to do, is go into the woods and process my emotions, because everywhere else, it is not accepted! THIS IS WEIRD. BUT people think I am weird for expressing my feelings! had to share this! HALLO HUMAN CONDITION!
Thing is - to heal you have to give up anger totally. You must be in control not the anger. The Anger IS the Disease. BTW you can't even keep a very little bit "just in case". It will poison you.
There's a difference between feeling an emotion and expressing an emotion. It's one Year since you posted this comment, I hope things are going better for you
I’m working on inner child, I’ve resisted trauma releasing in the past, what I’m asking is the role of beliefs that need the pain of trauma as part of a strategy mindset to get love - the intertwining , it seems , in me, to be what causes resistance to staying focused on or accessing in order to release . I do have body reactions currently , and was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis years ago. I’m not new to your work but had trouble focusing and turning away from it to look outside myself to soothe , an automatic reaction , the battle with the mind . I’ve been exposed to many healing circles. 💚 can you elaborate ?
I am very grateful for Irene Lyons work and have seen many of her videos. I have learned so much. But this video made me feel disillusioned. If the work with integrating/releasing trauma is lifelong and one can expect to experience immense fear and panic more or less for the rest of ones life, then what is the difference between the present life and the life after starting to integrate trauma? I personally have had extreme anxiety and panic attacks since kindergarten, and I hoped that I would be able to live my life without these disturbing emotions/dysregulation when the autonomic nervous system responses were finally somewhat integrated. But hearing Irene Lyon speak about how she only this week experienced the worst fear response of her life and that the integration is lifelong, this really makes me feel sad and gives me a feeling of hopelessness.
Hi Anne, Jen here from Team Lyon. I hear how some of what Irene shared here could lead you to feel disillusioned. It may help to put this in context. Often as people do this work, their experiences of anxiety and panic (to name a few symptoms) lessen and dissipate quite a bit over time, and feelings of ease, connection and flow tend to grow. We develop a new baseline for our daily experiences, what Steve Terrell calls "a new normal". If we do feel an intense fear or feeling at some point in the future, we tend to have much more capacity to hold this experience and ability to stay aware of an underlying sense of wellbeing and support even as the fear (for example) moves through. To provide a sense of what can be possible when we explore this work over time, I'll link to a post of Irene's where she talks about some of the gifts of growing regulation and to the page where you can read about client stories. 9 Key Benefits We Experience when the Nervous System is Regulated - irenelyon.com/2018/09/30/9-benefits-nervoussystem-regulated/ Student Success Stories - irenelyon.com/successstories/
I recently found you. I appreciate your work and expertise. I am going through a difficult time dealing w past trauma that didn't get processed earlier on-then midlife hits! It's been two years living with FEAR of everything that makes me question my integrity. It's debilitating. I feel alone (although I have a supportive family). Is this part of the healing process? Or I have to continue and tap into my nervous system? I have a sustainable lifestyle, but always been an anxious person (manageable in my earlier years, but as of late not so much). Cyclical migraine headaches for 10 yrs now that propelled me to look into "perimenopause" (learned 30+ something symptoms). I have physical discomfort-tight muscles esp the neck and I know these are stress-related. Do you have any insight on this and how it's connected (if any) to menopause rage, anxiety, depression>homones>ANS? It's overwhelming. I am not on Rx meds. Although sometimes I feel like I should be.
Hi Unshunned Hero, Seth here with Team Lyon. Yes, all the symptoms you describe are common manifestations of unresolved trauma and a dysregulated nervous system. It's good you have a supportive family system, and yes, feeling alone despite that is also not unusual if we are living with unresolved trauma. I suggest exploring this work! Irene has many free resources you can start with, and if you resonate with those you might consider joining us for a monthly drop-in class, or starting the 21 Day Nervous System Tune-Up. Links below. Free Resources - irenelyon.com/free-resources-2/ Drop-In Class - irenelyon.com/drop-in-class-1 21 Day Tune-Up - 21daytuneup.com/
Hey Irene, im in a process of doing this somatic work to help my fight or flight survival mode that ive been in for years via your somatic meditations and working with the nervous system. i feel a tight anxiety fluttery cloudy sensation in my chest and find it hard to connect. its like my body tries to avoid it. How can i deeply connect to it? I believe anxiety and fear live in this sensation. I also feel in my stomach sensations as well but im trying to do the chest first. Infact let me tell you my sensations that Im aware Of at this point. 1. tight shoulder/neck muscles 2. fluttery fight or flight in my chest (anxiety, fear and wanting to do everything fast) 3. I feel the nervous butterflies in my stomach and feel shame and worthless at this area when i get triggered. i think theres more but i forgot. these are the main ones.
Hey InForTheWin32, Seth here with Team Lyon. If your in one of Irene's online programs, then that would be the best place to ask this question. We can't really provide detailed consultation on this platform, as we would need to know more info that we can't ask for on a public forum. That being said, in general, when we are encountering something in our system that is scary and feels difficult to connect to, then we want to titrate that experience (engage a little bit at a time) and pendulate (move back and forth) with other experiences. So, this means touching in for a bit and then leaving it. Or touching in and feeling it a bit, but then changing our awareness to really focusing on the external environment around us, or to another area of the body that feels calmer, or good. Then back. We want to slowly build familiarity and capacity such that we can experience feeling these things without getting overwhelmed. As we do that, our capacity to stay with it and go deeper will gradually improve over time.
@@IreneLyon Im doing a neurcosensory meditation and is so annoying to "connect to the emotions" I try to pendulate by looking around but my eyes are also all shaky and fluttery that is hard to focus on one thing. Then I try to feel the fluttery shakiness in my chest and hard aswell. IT doesn't help when I lose concentration easily
Can you please come to the UK and educate our so called " trauma specialist " we get pumped full of pharmaceuticals with zero education on the physiology of trauma, seek to self medicate through substance abuse just for some relief then judged for doing so. Im at my wits end here and life no longer seems worth the effort.
@Sandie Broomfield Hi there- I’m in UK 🇬🇧 lived in USA most my life yet needed to come back for my elderly parents. I’ve educated myself on Trauma intensively over 10 years . I’m so bad I need residential inpatient treatment in a Trauma center that was recommended 10 years ago - yet it’s too expensive. I’ve done every other therapy I can afford- nothing worked for me. The NHS here in UK are pathetic: they have no knowledge in any of it and over 4 years have retraumatized me further.. Three Funding boards refused to pay for my residential trauma treatment at Khiron Clinic in London - despite a Professor there who is an NHS Consultant of 27 years, clearly stating that ..’NHS have very little experience or services and I’d be made worse under them as I’d be retraumatized again and not have a functional life..” Yet they ignored their own Consultant - refuses my funding - and demanded weekly hourly therapy for 40 weeks - when I’ve done that many times and it’s useless. I hate them - they are incompetent and just have NO knowledge in this field. I’m living with my elderly parents as I’m not functional with my untreated trauma to make life decisions and live alone- it’s made my parents very ill: my Dad and I don’t get along, he wants me gone and we’ve got in fights - I can’t heal in this Toxic environment- my dogs are still in USA as I can’t get them here until I get help and all my things are in storage.. At this point I’ve no hope left: my symptoms are all day everyday and they get worse - I’m getting physically sick as Trauma does that to the body... I’m not hopeful I’ll survive this - I’ve made that clear to GP, Funding Board etc - they just don’t care. Hope you don’t feel your on your own in UK - I’m here to chat if you like... Hugs Diane 💕🌈😇🙏
How do you discern between emotions from stored survival stress physiology coming up and out and present situational experience of emotion when living, making desisions in the world as life happens? For example I was looking forward to the next 6 months and the current desisions I am making, which I feel are the right moves to make and felt despair and malaise rise up. At what point of healing can emotions be a good barometer to measure against?
Hey Benjamin Ford, Seth here with Team Lyon. Great question! If we have unresolved trauma, many of our emotional experiences will be influenced by that, even if they are in-the-moment real time responses. That being said, there are a few clues that can help us know whether or not we are responding accurately to the present, or if the past unresolved emotions are being triggered and brought to the surface. One of the biggest indicators of the latter is familiarity - if an emotional response feels very familiar, or always happens under similar circumstances, than that is an indicator that this is from the past. In the example you give, I would suggest inquiring - do I always feel some form of despair, malaise, resistance, etc, rise up, when I start daydreaming or planning or making moves to improve my situation? If so, then this is likely part of a pattern of unresolved trauma. Another big clue is the magnitude of the emotional response compared to the stimuli. For example, if I fly into a rage because I spilled a bit of my coffee, or if I feel sick with disgust like I'm about to vomit when I hear someone chewing food, or if I am filled with anxiety and panic when I enter a crowded grocery store - these are almost certainly emotional responses from the past that are being triggered. Finally, another clue is emotions that seem totally out of context, or unusual for the situation. Like I see a smiling baby and I want to weep and hide, or someone asks me a question about myself and I'm flooded with embarrassment and shame - things like that.
How do we heal ? I am very physically sick & fear alot is trapped trauma over 61 years worth.. My nervous system is broken.. My early childhood was all adrenalin & fear Everyone talking about healing... But how exactly ? I cannot figure it out if honest ... I feel I am to far gone.. I have tried all y life .. I would like to sign up if possible
Hi Love Wins, Jen here from Team Lyon. It sounds like you've been though a lot. Know that the nervous system is resilient and we can start this work at any point in live. You asked how do we heal. Healing in this nervous system way involves a mix of learning and practice. Irene has many free resources, and one of the easiest way to learn some foundational concepts and practices is to join the (paid) self-study she created to teach people to do just that. I'll link to her paid program in case you want to check it out, and also to one of her free resources that many people find to be helpful. 4 Simple Steps to Calm Overwhelm - irenelyon.com/4-steps-to-calm-overwhelm/ 21 Day Nervous System Tune Up - 21daytuneup.com
Hi David Graham, Jen here from Team Lyon. Generally speaking, somatic tracking meditations may be helpful for some people. For others, they may be overstimulating while another group people may not notice much and find them to be along the lines of boring. The key is to notice what works for you. They also do not typically take the place of learning and practice specifically designed to support the growth of nervous system regulation and capacity (as Irene teaches), though for some they can be a nice complement.
I'm a second time SBSMer and have not felt fear at any point in this healing process. In fact, despite continuing with the work, I have seen very little improvement. Thoughts please, team Lyon?
Hi Carolina, Jen here from Team Lyon. For those with early/developmental trauma, fear can sometimes be one of the last emotions to become available and often shows up as tension before it does. As for the improvement, it can take time to notice a difference in this work. Depending on your history and nervous system, there may be a mix of the SBSM practices may be helpful to practice consistently. I encourage you to post a question in the "General Questions" section of the site, and it would help if you provided a little background if you're comfortable doing so.
Hi Unshunned Hero. Yes, even learning about these subjects can start the unresolved survival energy stirring in the system. Very common and nothing to worry about! Though it is an indication that you would likely benefit from this work.
I just dont understand this thing called mindfulness because the limbic system is at play here NOT the frontal lobe of cognition. Started a neuroplasticity program.... the 1st step is to say what you want. Ive ask myself for over a year. I dont want anything😮 surely this means something. 😊
Bailey here from Team Lyon. It sounds like you might be new here. If so, welcome! Irene & Team Lyon recognize the importance of this work being accessible to people and that is why, in addition to her paid programs, she has created some stellar free resources that many people have found helpful. Here is the link: irenelyon.com/free-resources-2/. Be sure to check out the New Here page as well: www.irenelyon.com/new-here. it is a great place to start. Happy learning!
But how do you know it's not an actual health issue like long COVID? I think this is dangerous making people think everything is because of trauma and then when they don't improve on your program they feel it's their fault when really it's something like a virus or another identified illness that is causing their issues.
Masha B, Jen here from Team Lyon. We strongly encourage people to get checked our by a medical practitioner in conjunction with doing this work if they have health concerns.
This video made me cry… cry for 60 years of living with the results of trauma, for the most part not knowing it was trauma and endlessly looking for a solution, which I was never able to find. But meanwhile I do know about trauma and have enrolled in SBSM to work on it, step by step. Thank you Irene for all your brilliant work 💝.
Do you know how great you are?! Happy for you 💚
We're in the same boat. I've been absolutely crippled by trauma all my life. I'm 57 and just beginning to learn about how it affected me. It's a miracle I haven't taken my own life as I've struggled with suicidal thoughts quite frequently. I wish you all the best. I'm just hoping I can heal before I take my last breath.
@@tubeklw4533 here's to you and to your new life, beginning from your newfound awareness 🍻
@@sunflower9555 Thank you, what a sweet thing to say ❤️!
@@tubeklw4533 I can so relate. I'm 58 next week and 100% with you🙏❤
Thanku soooo much. This might help.
Fear 1:53
Lifelong and Lifestyle 7:10
Perfectionism 9:15
Flee from Health 15:00
Thank you very much for the time stamps!
thank u
Thank you!
Thank you!!!
71 here and just found out about CPTSD a few months ago. Feeling overwhelmed with grief and fatigue and thinking I may never experience authentic love with another. Found Irene's videos just a few weeks ago and managed to enroll in SBSM. Am also shakily working my way through a book by Pete Walker called COMPLEX PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving, also the name of a great UTube video by South Pacific Private. I feel mangled but the people we become by doing this work must be the new humanity.
It is never too late! I am 61 and feel much the same way. I am so grateful that I found this work. It is a slow process. I have tried more than my fair share of healing modalities “looking for a cure”. This is the only thing that has begun the healing process along with individualized work. Keep going 😊
You put my exact feelings and experiences into words: almost 61 here and yes, feeling overwhelmed by grief and fatigue, yes, having found Irene’s work a few weeks ago, yes, having enrolled in SBSM, and yes, looking for authentic love with all my heart ❤️. Which goes to show that we’re not alone, not by far, which is comforting and encouraging. Thank you for being here and loving yourself enough to find the courage to do this step by step work. Much love, Mai from Holland 🇳🇱.
We’re presented with a life that brings up our stuff to struggle with, channels like this, Scott Kiloby, Russell Kennedy give us the tools to make it through. And you’ll make it through. My journey started in South Pacific Private rehab 6 years ago, I got off all the stuff I was addicted to and I’ve struggled with raw nerves ever since- every challenge to deal with is deeper and tougher than the last! It feels like a process to dissolve the ego and replace thinking with faith in the reality of always just this. Sending you all my love and best wishes. You got this 🙏
❤️100%
I’ve been learning to regulate my nervous system. I’m noticing I’m sabotaging my health, eg eating surgery foods, not exercising, going to bed late. I understand why I’m doing what I’m doing. I just need to keep going.
Youve imparted a very good explanation of self sabatoge. I can now reframe what I go through and I understand why more than I did before. It might now be more natural for me to see life occurances more optimistically.
Thank you so much, I’ve just started SBSM 12 week program. It’s triggering me a lot, I just feel so traumatised and frozen. Not thinking of giving up, but feel absolute flawed right now. So hearing your voice and advice here is priceless thank you Irene 🙏
Hi Stuart, yes it’s hard to face all those triggers that come up through SBSM, isn’t it? I like to think of it as a child learning how to walk. They will fall down hundreds of times, but will always get up and try again. That perseverance is still within us, so, like you said, we’re not thinking of giving up 🥳! Good luck on your SBSM journey, perhaps I’ll see you on the inside (I’m Mai from Holland) 😉.
Hey Mai and Stuart;
I’m Lorinda from 🇨🇦. Also in SBSM (1st time).
Looking forward to this opportunity to begin healing at the Nervous System level. Also a 1st time journey, and I’m 56. 🤗nice to be doing the same workings with you.
Lorinda
@@lorindapearson5227 Hi Lorinda, see you in SBSM 👍🙂!
Where do I Start?
Lost our son 2 yrs 4 months ago and 1 year 10 months later my body started reacting strange.
Screaming, convulsions, absentia, hurting myself etc ... The is is Long.
Ended up in psychiatric hospital, out after 3 weeks.
I feel so guilty for feeling better, but worse.
I don't know who I am.
I just want to go HOME.
Also feeling guilty, because I have so much to be grateful for.
Which video do I Start watching?
Been admitted
Hi Stuart Hendry, Jen here from Team Lyon. It's good to hear that this video or Irene's was helpful to hear. And know that you're definitely not alone - for those of us who have spent many years (or even decades) in freeze/conservation physiology, it can take time to thaw. Hope to see you somewhere around SBSM.
‘A committed slow day by day learning of a new language’. This!
As someone with ME/CFS for over twenty years I can promise that it’s only when I made this commitment to the work did I see any real improvement. I often equate it to addictions, healing is a day by day lifelong commitment. I have more energy now than twenty years ago, even five years ago, and an acceptance that my energy is always going to be limited; but my enjoyment of life and each moment is greater too as the trauma heals.
Great work Jan! I'm 29 and my ME/CFS has occurred more recently, thank you for sharing that your seeing improvements with the work! Have you every felt like you need a practitioner too, or do you feel like this work is enough? Thanks!
Thank you, Jan, for your comments. I've had CFS for over 20 years, too, so to hear your success story is gives me a lot of hope!
@@alma4276 Did you get involved in this work? :)
@@djVania08 Hi Ivan, yes I did. I'm in a health crisis still but trying to implement exercises from the SBSM course as well as trying to work with a practitioner, thank you :)
This is a very good video - thank you! I really appreciated the likening to school and feeling dumb, and not capable.
I come from one of those homes where things weren’t abusive, but there was a lack of emotional support and care, and then I was sent to boarding school which was an abuse (and for anyone reading this who may have a similar experience, it is a syndrome and not a privilege).
It has taken me 20 years to drop in deeper and deeper to begin to feel my body, feel more regulated and capable.
It began with “telling without talking” - by using art to give voice, to begin to look at myself and start to think about my feelings and reactions. And now I am building into talking about it, learning to trust. There are so many pieces that have needed repair along the way - a sense of safety; a home that safe, a loving relationship, good people to share with, and on and on. But when you said it is LIFELONG PRACTICE, that really clicked for me and I appreciate your honesty. I am kinda having a “duh moment here - but so glad for it to be so clear.
To everyone out there suffering, just keep trying to put some pieces together. In my experience, none of it made sense until i pursued it enough for it to start to make sense. We are so good at surviving and keeping it all tight in, and terrified of how it will be or who we will be if we let it out - but it is the only path to feeling better - that path of vulnerability. ❤ and this comment section is full of vulnerability - thanks all❤
Great information in this video, thank you for sharing. I am hoping to work with you at some point in the future. I am absorbing as much information as I can until then. Much gratitude for you and your team. ❤️
Hi, I just subscribed my name on the waiting list for the next SBSM run, and then saw this video. I can relate to all 4 things, but especially the perfection and the fleeing from health. I know those two palls so good, that I can already feel the despair rising inside: "you know you cannot do this. You know you will drop out and fail". I was encouraged by this video of yours and hope to remain this hopeful till the registration next week. Kind regards, Barbara
So glad I found your videos Irene your approach To healing trauma is much needed I have suffered for decades not really understanding myself at all and developing a very unkind attitude towards myself I’m starting to understand what my real problems are at the age of 56 and I’m grieving so much wasted Time sometimes I cry so hard because I know the potential that I have I just want to be me and experience freedom and joy
I feel the same way. Thank you for putting it so succinctly 😊
Hey John, Seth here with Team Lyon. Thanks so much for sharing this, and for being here! I'm so glad you found Irene and this work. It really can help so much! I hope you get inspired to dive into doing the work :) You certainly can experience the joy of being authentically you. It something that took me a while to achieve for sure, it just takes excavating ourselves from the conditioning and trauma that was heaped on us. You can do it!
@@louellenhackel9310 - Seth here with Team Lyon. so glad you found us! Thanks for being here and learning. I hope you explore Irene's website too, and the many free resources available there.
My heart goes out to you. I hope to enroll soon. The potential that you feel you have, I feel that too. Like what could I have done in and for the world had I been whole.
Thankyou for being here. For me sundays trigger off anxiety for me and I kinda know why but today I am feeling really low and watching this gave me some hope.
I have the same problem too. Sundays. I think I know too. But I need to learn to pass things
phil russell, Jen here from Team Lyon. It's good to hear that watching this video gave you some hope. I'll link to two of Irene's free resources that can sometimes be helpful when anxiety shows up in case you want to check them out.
DIY Ancient Anxiety Medicine - ua-cam.com/video/0ICsbXUCKmM/v-deo.html&lc=UgzKvm65Pqe9xARznlN4AaABAg
4 Simple Steps to Calm Overwhelm - irenelyon.com/4-steps-to-calm-overwhelm/
As usual , your delivery is exceptional and always resonates! So grateful to be a part of team Lyon!
Thank you Irene! I am an alumni since 2019. These four barriers show themselves daily. This discussion shined the light on the “circle of darkness” of these 4 automatic responses that pull me out of the driver’s seat. Another chink in the armor has occurred! Thank you to you and your team!
Thank you for sharing your healing wisdom
Your comment that feeling better sometimes feels so foreign that it keeps us from seeing our progress hit home for me. I remember thinking that living in the present moment even for part of a day felt phony - there was no baggage and pain so it didn’t feel like I was myself. This work takes so long and I need help recognizing progress so I don’t get discouraged and quit. Thanks for your video support.
I have had full-blown panic attacks, but what I dread even more is the Dead Zone of severe depression. To me, this is true hell-on-earth. It may be frozen, rather than fiery, but it is hell.
I am grateful beyond words that new theories & therapies are being developed to treat trauma experienced in the earliest, pre-verbal, stages of life, & that the "freeze" response is being given its due along with fight or flight.
Thank you, Irene Lyon, for your important work!
I’m new to your videos, and I want to say thank you! I've been on a healing journey most of my adult life. I didn't have the understanding and the right support to find my way through much of the traumatization. And many times I have felt I was sliding back or not doing it right. Even finding what works best for me has been a challenge.
Really informative and excellent presentation!
Thank you 🙏🏻 ❤️
💗 Thank You Irene. Your videos are ALWAYS comforting and helpful. I learn so much from your experience and wisdom
☁️☁️☁️🌞🙏🏽🌞☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️
Thank you!❤
I really appreciate the way the background environment around you, and your wardrobe, is so free of conflict, with a peaceful amount of contrast. Thank you.
That was AMAZING! As I was listening to your videos I almost felt asleep and I zoned out!! I new it’s was a defence but couldn’t control. As soon I saw the FEAR card I felt more awake and able to be present. Very interesting!!
Thank you so much for sharing this video.thats what I am looking for so many years in my life. I am what you are mentioning ❤😢❤
My mother is a perfectionist. And if I do something it is never good enough. I have anxiety and many fears and unsecurity scince I was a litlle child. I have BPD diagnosis, as a personality type. I do youre course SBSM, and threw everything that I learned and tried to do, I know that a have a lot of toxic shame. It is a scence of not being good enough to be better. So, as I said it, Im doing things with toxic shame, and it is working with disgust wich comes up orginacally. I cant explain how much this thing gets traped, and toxic to our children, because Im parent also. It is not easy. And Im greatfull for starting this lifelong journey. Also Im greatfull for youre anouncment of working on toxic shame even more threw SBSM course. Thanks
Hang in there, it gets better with time and almost even without noticing! Keep going :)
OMG you just described my body when you referenced this isn't normal and we can't do this. I can't tell you how many times I have put something new in place and it goes well for a short time and then BAM back into business as usual. You just keep proving to me that I'm in the right place, doing the right thing. Thank you
I so relate to this. I started the 21-day nervous system tune-up in 2020. I got to day 5 then gave up. I felt like a failure again for not keeping up with the program. The daily emails, my toxic shame, an unhealthy living environment,. engrained dysfunctional patterns (freeze). This is exactly why I haven't made progress. Makes me cry.
Irene's work is excellent...for education & bringing awareness. But please don't berate yourself - traumatized people need a live, trauma educated, compassionate therapist to help move through these patterns to healing.
This is so timely. I needed the motivation to break things down into little time chunks, and let that be ok. Daily care and not a performance of worth.
Hi Irene, thanks for the well timed encouragement! I'm slower in Yr 2 than Yr 1. Also more confused and overwhelmed from very earlier on this year. I've gone back to transcripts to help lessen the activation. Still, I believe, the tortoise can win the race..!! 🤣🙏🤞
Thankyou Irene. I just completed a 21 day journey with a colleague of yours and am feeling a lot of anxiety and fear in the pit of my stomach. This explains it very well. Thanks for all the information that you provide ❤️
The biggest problem for me is not to feel these feelings. BUT to process them in a way, that other people will not notice as much. It simply is not socially accepted to feel especially anger in our western culture. A costumer was rude to me, and I just reacted angry (just for myself I didnt act out!). And immediately the colleague said, I shouldnt be angry. It is really a sick culture if you ask me. Every sensation has to be suppressed. No wonder there are more and more sick human beings who suffer from all sorts of conditions! So what I have to do, is go into the woods and process my emotions, because everywhere else, it is not accepted! THIS IS WEIRD. BUT people think I am weird for expressing my feelings! had to share this! HALLO HUMAN CONDITION!
Thing is - to heal you have to give up anger totally. You must be in control not the anger.
The Anger IS the Disease.
BTW you can't even keep a very little bit "just in case". It will poison you.
There's a difference between feeling an emotion and expressing an emotion. It's one Year since you posted this comment, I hope things are going better for you
Thank you so much.
Very useful! Thank you Irene x
Thank you very. Just at the right time🙏🙏 This one lands. Marloes SBSM 2017 alumni.
"functional freeze", yes. I feel most of my life has been in this state.
I am in this tug of war right now. I feel very validated., and I needed that today.
I’m working on inner child, I’ve resisted trauma releasing in the past, what I’m asking is the role of beliefs that need the pain of trauma as part of a strategy mindset to get love - the intertwining , it seems , in me, to be what causes resistance to staying focused on or accessing in order to release . I do have body reactions currently , and was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis years ago. I’m not new to your work but had trouble focusing and turning away from it to look outside myself to soothe , an automatic reaction , the battle with the mind . I’ve been exposed to many healing circles. 💚 can you elaborate ?
I am very grateful for Irene Lyons work and have seen many of her videos. I have learned so much. But this video made me feel disillusioned. If the work with integrating/releasing trauma is lifelong and one can expect to experience immense fear and panic more or less for the rest of ones life, then what is the difference between the present life and the life after starting to integrate trauma?
I personally have had extreme anxiety and panic attacks since kindergarten, and I hoped that I would be able to live my life without these disturbing emotions/dysregulation when the autonomic nervous system responses were finally somewhat integrated. But hearing Irene Lyon speak about how she only this week experienced the worst fear response of her life and that the integration is lifelong, this really makes me feel sad and gives me a feeling of hopelessness.
Hi Anne, Jen here from Team Lyon. I hear how some of what Irene shared here could lead you to feel disillusioned. It may help to put this in context. Often as people do this work, their experiences of anxiety and panic (to name a few symptoms) lessen and dissipate quite a bit over time, and feelings of ease, connection and flow tend to grow. We develop a new baseline for our daily experiences, what Steve Terrell calls "a new normal".
If we do feel an intense fear or feeling at some point in the future, we tend to have much more capacity to hold this experience and ability to stay aware of an underlying sense of wellbeing and support even as the fear (for example) moves through.
To provide a sense of what can be possible when we explore this work over time, I'll link to a post of Irene's where she talks about some of the gifts of growing regulation and to the page where you can read about client stories.
9 Key Benefits We Experience when the Nervous System is Regulated - irenelyon.com/2018/09/30/9-benefits-nervoussystem-regulated/
Student Success Stories - irenelyon.com/successstories/
Everytime I do a somatic exercise I get chills up and down my spine. Is this a way we release stored trauma?
Fear, lifelonglifestyle, perfection, flee from health-sabotage
Feel not so much Fear as Anger against those who hurt us!
I recently found you. I appreciate your work and expertise. I am going through a difficult time dealing w past trauma that didn't get processed earlier on-then midlife hits! It's been two years living with FEAR of everything that makes me question my integrity. It's debilitating. I feel alone (although I have a supportive family). Is this part of the healing process? Or I have to continue and tap into my nervous system? I have a sustainable lifestyle, but always been an anxious person (manageable in my earlier years, but as of late not so much). Cyclical migraine headaches for 10 yrs now that propelled me to look into "perimenopause" (learned 30+ something symptoms). I have physical discomfort-tight muscles esp the neck and I know these are stress-related. Do you have any insight on this and how it's connected (if any) to menopause rage, anxiety, depression>homones>ANS? It's overwhelming. I am not on Rx meds. Although sometimes I feel like I should be.
Hi Unshunned Hero, Seth here with Team Lyon. Yes, all the symptoms you describe are common manifestations of unresolved trauma and a dysregulated nervous system. It's good you have a supportive family system, and yes, feeling alone despite that is also not unusual if we are living with unresolved trauma.
I suggest exploring this work! Irene has many free resources you can start with, and if you resonate with those you might consider joining us for a monthly drop-in class, or starting the 21 Day Nervous System Tune-Up. Links below.
Free Resources - irenelyon.com/free-resources-2/
Drop-In Class - irenelyon.com/drop-in-class-1
21 Day Tune-Up - 21daytuneup.com/
Hey Irene, im in a process of doing this somatic work to help my fight or flight survival mode that ive been in for years via your somatic meditations and working with the nervous system.
i feel a tight anxiety fluttery cloudy sensation in my chest and find it hard to connect. its like my body tries to avoid it. How can i deeply connect to it? I believe anxiety and fear live in this sensation. I also feel in my stomach sensations as well but im trying to do the chest first.
Infact let me tell you my sensations that Im aware Of at this point.
1. tight shoulder/neck muscles
2. fluttery fight or flight in my chest (anxiety, fear and wanting to do everything fast)
3. I feel the nervous butterflies in my stomach and feel shame and worthless at this area when i get triggered.
i think theres more but i forgot. these are the main ones.
Hey InForTheWin32, Seth here with Team Lyon. If your in one of Irene's online programs, then that would be the best place to ask this question. We can't really provide detailed consultation on this platform, as we would need to know more info that we can't ask for on a public forum.
That being said, in general, when we are encountering something in our system that is scary and feels difficult to connect to, then we want to titrate that experience (engage a little bit at a time) and pendulate (move back and forth) with other experiences. So, this means touching in for a bit and then leaving it. Or touching in and feeling it a bit, but then changing our awareness to really focusing on the external environment around us, or to another area of the body that feels calmer, or good. Then back. We want to slowly build familiarity and capacity such that we can experience feeling these things without getting overwhelmed. As we do that, our capacity to stay with it and go deeper will gradually improve over time.
@@IreneLyon thank you seth
@@IreneLyon Im doing a neurcosensory meditation and is so annoying to "connect to the emotions"
I try to pendulate by looking around but my eyes are also all shaky and fluttery that is hard to focus on one thing.
Then I try to feel the fluttery shakiness in my chest and hard aswell.
IT doesn't help when I lose concentration easily
Can you please come to the UK and educate our so called " trauma specialist " we get pumped full of pharmaceuticals with zero education on the physiology of trauma, seek to self medicate through substance abuse just for some relief then judged for doing so. Im at my wits end here and life no longer seems worth the effort.
@Sandie Broomfield
Hi there- I’m in UK 🇬🇧 lived in USA most my life yet needed to come back for my elderly parents.
I’ve educated myself on Trauma intensively over 10 years . I’m so bad I need residential inpatient treatment in a Trauma center that was recommended 10 years ago - yet it’s too expensive.
I’ve done every other therapy I can afford- nothing worked for me.
The NHS here in UK are pathetic: they have no knowledge in any of it and over 4 years have retraumatized me further..
Three Funding boards refused to pay for my residential trauma treatment at Khiron Clinic in London - despite a Professor there who is an NHS Consultant of 27 years, clearly stating that ..’NHS have very little experience or services and I’d be made worse under them as I’d be retraumatized again and not have a functional life..”
Yet they ignored their own Consultant - refuses my funding - and demanded weekly hourly therapy for 40 weeks - when I’ve done that many times and it’s useless.
I hate them - they are incompetent and just have NO knowledge in this field.
I’m living with my elderly parents as I’m not functional with my untreated trauma to make life decisions and live alone- it’s made my parents very ill: my Dad and I don’t get along, he wants me gone and we’ve got in fights - I can’t heal in this Toxic environment- my dogs are still in USA as I can’t get them here until I get help and all my things are in storage..
At this point I’ve no hope left: my symptoms are all day everyday and they get worse - I’m getting physically sick as Trauma does that to the body...
I’m not hopeful I’ll survive this - I’ve made that clear to GP, Funding Board etc - they just don’t care.
Hope you don’t feel your on your own in UK - I’m here to chat if you like...
Hugs Diane 💕🌈😇🙏
The Anger IS the Disease.
🥰🥰🥰
Thx
How do you discern between emotions from stored survival stress physiology coming up and out and present situational experience of emotion when living, making desisions in the world as life happens? For example I was looking forward to the next 6 months and the current desisions I am making, which I feel are the right moves to make and felt despair and malaise rise up. At what point of healing can emotions be a good barometer to measure against?
Hey Benjamin Ford, Seth here with Team Lyon. Great question! If we have unresolved trauma, many of our emotional experiences will be influenced by that, even if they are in-the-moment real time responses. That being said, there are a few clues that can help us know whether or not we are responding accurately to the present, or if the past unresolved emotions are being triggered and brought to the surface. One of the biggest indicators of the latter is familiarity - if an emotional response feels very familiar, or always happens under similar circumstances, than that is an indicator that this is from the past. In the example you give, I would suggest inquiring - do I always feel some form of despair, malaise, resistance, etc, rise up, when I start daydreaming or planning or making moves to improve my situation? If so, then this is likely part of a pattern of unresolved trauma.
Another big clue is the magnitude of the emotional response compared to the stimuli. For example, if I fly into a rage because I spilled a bit of my coffee, or if I feel sick with disgust like I'm about to vomit when I hear someone chewing food, or if I am filled with anxiety and panic when I enter a crowded grocery store - these are almost certainly emotional responses from the past that are being triggered.
Finally, another clue is emotions that seem totally out of context, or unusual for the situation. Like I see a smiling baby and I want to weep and hide, or someone asks me a question about myself and I'm flooded with embarrassment and shame - things like that.
How do we heal ? I am very physically sick & fear alot is trapped trauma over 61 years worth.. My nervous system is broken.. My early childhood was all adrenalin & fear
Everyone talking about healing... But how exactly ? I cannot figure it out if honest ... I feel I am to far gone.. I have tried all y life ..
I would like to sign up if possible
Hi Love Wins, Jen here from Team Lyon. It sounds like you've been though a lot. Know that the nervous system is resilient and we can start this work at any point in live.
You asked how do we heal. Healing in this nervous system way involves a mix of learning and practice. Irene has many free resources, and one of the easiest way to learn some foundational concepts and practices is to join the (paid) self-study she created to teach people to do just that. I'll link to her paid program in case you want to check it out, and also to one of her free resources that many people find to be helpful.
4 Simple Steps to Calm Overwhelm - irenelyon.com/4-steps-to-calm-overwhelm/
21 Day Nervous System Tune Up - 21daytuneup.com
@@IreneLyon Thankyou so much !!!
whats your opnion on somantic tracking meditations?
Hi David Graham, Jen here from Team Lyon. Generally speaking, somatic tracking meditations may be helpful for some people. For others, they may be overstimulating while another group people may not notice much and find them to be along the lines of boring. The key is to notice what works for you. They also do not typically take the place of learning and practice specifically designed to support the growth of nervous system regulation and capacity (as Irene teaches), though for some they can be a nice complement.
I'm a second time SBSMer and have not felt fear at any point in this healing process. In fact, despite continuing with the work, I have seen very little improvement. Thoughts please, team Lyon?
Hi Carolina, Jen here from Team Lyon. For those with early/developmental trauma, fear can sometimes be one of the last emotions to become available and often shows up as tension before it does. As for the improvement, it can take time to notice a difference in this work. Depending on your history and nervous system, there may be a mix of the SBSM practices may be helpful to practice consistently. I encourage you to post a question in the "General Questions" section of the site, and it would help if you provided a little background if you're comfortable doing so.
@@IreneLyon Thanks so much, Jen, very useful and yes, I will post there.
Just to add: I've watched your video on "Anger" and it made me anxious. I got scared. Normal?
Hi Unshunned Hero. Yes, even learning about these subjects can start the unresolved survival energy stirring in the system. Very common and nothing to worry about! Though it is an indication that you would likely benefit from this work.
I just dont understand this thing called mindfulness because the limbic system is at play here NOT the frontal lobe of cognition. Started a neuroplasticity program.... the 1st step is to say what you want. Ive ask myself for over a year. I dont want anything😮 surely this means something. 😊
Money, if you did your exercises for free, that would help a LOT of people who can not afford the courses in these very hard times
Bailey here from Team Lyon. It sounds like you might be new here. If so, welcome! Irene & Team Lyon recognize the importance of this work being accessible to people and that is why, in addition to her paid programs, she has created some stellar free resources that many people have found helpful. Here is the link: irenelyon.com/free-resources-2/. Be sure to check out the New Here page as well: www.irenelyon.com/new-here. it is a great place to start. Happy learning!
I flee from health
health threatens my control
But how do you know it's not an actual health issue like long COVID? I think this is dangerous making people think everything is because of trauma and then when they don't improve on your program they feel it's their fault when really it's something like a virus or another identified illness that is causing their issues.
Masha B, Jen here from Team Lyon. We strongly encourage people to get checked our by a medical practitioner in conjunction with doing this work if they have health concerns.