👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 thank you for this. When you are a mature , self-aware and responsible person you CANNOT have friends who lack accountability. They will be jealous of the courage you have to create the life that you desire. They will always blame others for their reality so that they can remain victims. Unfortunately, I have many family members who are like this and I had to learn to set strong boundaries and cut some of them off. And even tho I feel the desire to be with them because a part of me loves them, I got at a point in my life where the desire to be at Peace is stronger.
This! All of this! This video gave me so much closure after a horrendous year of "friendships" and work relationships I was in (where the culprit were jealous guys, believe it or not) where I was mistreated and stayed after what looked like genuine apologies. I just want to add a very important note from my experience. Accountability does not look like beating yourself up for your mistakes. Accountability sounds like "sure, I will take my role in how this played out, but even if I had committed mistakes NOTHING gives anyone the right to mistreat me, especially when I did not mistreat anyone." Additionally, if someone is dodging any semblance of accountability, treating them like how they treated you will not "make them see how it feels", they already know how it feels, that's how they feel on the inside 24/7. Treating them like how they treated you means they succeeded in dragging you in their internal mess. If the dynamic doesn't allow for a respectful conversation to be had, or if after any conversation the behaviour often gets worse, don't gaslight yourself like they gaslight you... love yourself enough to leave.
@@ayodelesharon1575 it's okay, that's not a friend. Don't expect anything from them. Be nice and courteous. Find something else for emotional support.
I’m currently watching the show and was so impressed with how the show showed two very different types of abusive relationships that Jiwon had to deal with and how well they were depicted. I love everything you have to say about it
The most terrible thing is when you befriend someone who you thought was a real friend, but they are actually keeping you around to use you in some way. I had this best friend for 8 years and I feel like I was only in her life so she could feel better about herself. It was kind of like in mean girls. She was kind of behaving like a teenager. Always making fun of me but in a kind of backhanded way on my birthday for example. Or she wouldn't show up at all to my birthday with a really cheap excuse. She would always belittle or criticize me for no reason at all. She would love it when I was sad or in a desperate situation like she was feeding on my sadness. She would be really mean sometimes and then love dump with a really heartfelt letter. She would trauma dump and then ignore me for days. She would manipulate me to feel bad for her even though she was the one who fucked up. Like cheating on her boyfriends for example or she would try to justify it. And always trying to justify reckless behavior in general like taking drugs? I was never a person to party or take substances and I think she felt really insecure about that. She was always kind of jealous and wanted to make a competition out of everything. I think she was just insanely insecure and made my life hell because of that 🙄. I'm still recovering from that friendship and sometimes I will get anxiety when I see her, but it was the best decision of my life to end the friendship. I will never forget you and also fuck you...
I’m so glad people are discussing this, and it seems like more videos are showing up online which is so important. I never really considered that envy could get so toxic in friendship until I experienced it firsthand. I think people feel a lot of shame when they sense envy towards someone close to them, or they’re too prideful to admit it because they think it makes them ‘less then’ but that causes the emotion to simmer, then boil and finally, become twisted and poisonous. I couldn’t understand why my friend was so hot and cold, would constantly be imitating my choices, whether they were small, style choices and phrases I used, or actual life decisions like my university degree, my big goals and hobbies and the field of work I wanted to enter into, all while never admitting that her life was looking eerily similar to mine. It’s like she thought I wouldn’t notice that anytime I did something, she would suddenly be into the exact same thing since ‘forever’! She would constantly make undermining remarks, withhold praise and one up me. And our friendship ended in me attempting to point out how I was hurt by the snide comments and clapbacks (respectfully) and her essentially denying any resentment or envy and telling me I was obviously projecting. Well, unsurprisingly I saw the same pattern in several of her other friendships whereas I had no one else in my life with this toxic dynamic.
I watched this show when it came out and loved it. This is such a phenomenal breakdown of the dynamic between those two. I actually confronted a friend once and asked her what her issue with me was. I kid you not she looked me dead in the eyes and said because you have your life together. Another close friend of mine called to apologize after going through therapy because she realized she was jealous of me during our entire friendship (I was friends with her for over 10 yrs).
I watched it and I loved how Ji Won wanted to live a happy life but not at the expense of others. She chose to lift up those around her, reaffirm their value, and help them out. That self-sacrificing nature of herself that was taken advantage of in her first life, she used to prevent Yang Juman from getting Ji Won's fate. I just loved how it showed that she can live a happy life for herself by loving others and taking care of yourself. The character development in this story was amazing and the lessons that we can learn were amazing. Mr. Yu concerned me because he kept spying and stalking her at first but I loved that he was willing to not be with Ji Won if it meant Ji WOn being happy and that is true love. Yes, his tendencies weren't great but his true heart showed towards the end.
Your perspective offers valuable insights, particularly when considering its implications within minority communities, particularly those to which I, as a Nigerian black woman, belong. It is essential for me to avoid generalizations, as many individuals who share this identity exhibit commendable qualities, most of us are amazing people. Nonetheless, from my experience, there exists a subset who have exhibited disparaging behavior towards me, employing tactics that are both unpleasant and manipulative in attempting to impose their degrading perspective of me upon others, forcing people to see me through their lens. Curiously, when it suits their agenda, they readily invoke our shared identity, emphasizing a sense of kinship. This dynamic poses a significant challenge, as it requires navigating complex social situations without appearing confrontational or disruptive. Upon speaking with other women, I realize I am not alone in this situation, and it is truly sad to know this.
God blessed you with the gift of speaking. This was all explained so well and calmly. Thank you for sharing your reflections and the film. I"ll have to watch it. I have a lot of trauma from having people around that i thought were friends who did not wish me well.
You always make excuses for those people ... I fazed out after 17 years, should have left after 10 years. But now I am soooo happy! The show sounds great!
Totally off topic of the video, but this is the first video of yours' that I've watched and all I can say is "wow". The audio is amazing, your voice and eloquence is beautiful, ur lighting is really good, and overall it's a really good video u made :) I enjoyed watching ur takes on stuff.
Pray, document the abuse, write to the chain of command, report it to HR( they are usually on the side of the company and if it's management...then it's tricky. You have no inside information, they do. You will go FIRST...right or wrong) ...any coworkers on your socials...delete n block. Start to disassociate. These companies don't GAF. They are there to just screw on the job. That's it.
What if the person is a roommate and your lease is only halfway through? And you have confronted the person on all these things and only got an insincere apology and the person only becomes more subtle about undermining you while also always showing off the things that they have, which you do not have?
@@ayodelesharon1575 Don't involve them in your life at all. Don't show interest in their life. Unfortunately not everyone wants to be your friend or get along with you. Treat it like you would treat someone with the same behaviour at work. Leave as soon as you can.
I really enjoyed your intake on the show what is the show called I really love to watch it it's very interesting to see how peoples action would determine the reaction and I don't understand why women are so envious of other women me and a good friend of mine that calls me her sister was talking about feminine energy and how they could be envious and jealous of you over the littlest things and I believe that's why my friend had cut me off because of something so stupid and then she brought up other situations that we already talked about but little backhanded compliments she would give me I don't know why she cut me off because of that because it was not even a reason to cut me off I should have Cut Her Off when she was very insensitive of when I told her that my aunt passed away in a fire and she was asking me how long you knew her and how are you crying over somebody you barely know just because she was mad because I didn't want to go to the movies with her I just don't understand why people are like that
Backhanded compliment is a compliment followed by an insult related to the compliment In order to destroy your self perception self esteem and joy! in whatever they complimented you about first. It’s a form of gaslighting and ill intent
It’s very sad and they’re very miserable and low within themselves to even have those sort of intentions in the first place I feel sorry for them and I hope they get their validation from self instead of trying to put others down or beneath them in order to feel better about themselves! Tf
@@vanyas4952 Nate had a thing for Serena when he was dating Blair. He left the room bc he heard she was back. Also when Blair brought up with Pete incident claiming Serena killed the guy to keep her from going to Yale. But technically, Dan and Serena dated first so… and Dan was the victim in that scenario. And Blair mocked Serena dating Dan only to date him herself is pretty ironic. And Blair was going to break up with him And the things that Blair did were always worse than anything Serena did tbh. If Serena was nasty to Blair, it was bc she started it.
Jealousy is such a dangerous emotion. Literally leads to murder. Distance yourself immediately, they’re not worth it.
👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 thank you for this. When you are a mature , self-aware and responsible person you CANNOT have friends who lack accountability. They will be jealous of the courage you have to create the life that you desire. They will always blame others for their reality so that they can remain victims. Unfortunately, I have many family members who are like this and I had to learn to set strong boundaries and cut some of them off. And even tho I feel the desire to be with them because a part of me loves them, I got at a point in my life where the desire to be at Peace is stronger.
This! All of this! This video gave me so much closure after a horrendous year of "friendships" and work relationships I was in (where the culprit were jealous guys, believe it or not) where I was mistreated and stayed after what looked like genuine apologies.
I just want to add a very important note from my experience. Accountability does not look like beating yourself up for your mistakes. Accountability sounds like "sure, I will take my role in how this played out, but even if I had committed mistakes NOTHING gives anyone the right to mistreat me, especially when I did not mistreat anyone."
Additionally, if someone is dodging any semblance of accountability, treating them like how they treated you will not "make them see how it feels", they already know how it feels, that's how they feel on the inside 24/7. Treating them like how they treated you means they succeeded in dragging you in their internal mess.
If the dynamic doesn't allow for a respectful conversation to be had, or if after any conversation the behaviour often gets worse, don't gaslight yourself like they gaslight you... love yourself enough to leave.
Well said, I love this
What if they are your roommate who is super nice but does not offer any emotional support when you have serious issues at hand?
This is most perfect comment! So healing for me in every way 🤍🤍
@@ayodelesharon1575 it's okay, that's not a friend. Don't expect anything from them. Be nice and courteous. Find something else for emotional support.
@@ampm1418 Hmm...thank you!
I’m currently watching the show and was so impressed with how the show showed two very different types of abusive relationships that Jiwon had to deal with and how well they were depicted.
I love everything you have to say about it
Your perspective on competitiveness resonated with me the most. In my experience, competitiveness can be SOO SUBTLE it’s scary.
The most terrible thing is when you befriend someone who you thought was a real friend, but they are actually keeping you around to use you in some way. I had this best friend for 8 years and I feel like I was only in her life so she could feel better about herself. It was kind of like in mean girls. She was kind of behaving like a teenager. Always making fun of me but in a kind of backhanded way on my birthday for example. Or she wouldn't show up at all to my birthday with a really cheap excuse. She would always belittle or criticize me for no reason at all. She would love it when I was sad or in a desperate situation like she was feeding on my sadness. She would be really mean sometimes and then love dump with a really heartfelt letter. She would trauma dump and then ignore me for days. She would manipulate me to feel bad for her even though she was the one who fucked up. Like cheating on her boyfriends for example or she would try to justify it. And always trying to justify reckless behavior in general like taking drugs? I was never a person to party or take substances and I think she felt really insecure about that. She was always kind of jealous and wanted to make a competition out of everything. I think she was just insanely insecure and made my life hell because of that 🙄. I'm still recovering from that friendship and sometimes I will get anxiety when I see her, but it was the best decision of my life to end the friendship. I will never forget you and also fuck you...
I’m so glad people are discussing this, and it seems like more videos are showing up online which is so important. I never really considered that envy could get so toxic in friendship until I experienced it firsthand. I think people feel a lot of shame when they sense envy towards someone close to them, or they’re too prideful to admit it because they think it makes them ‘less then’ but that causes the emotion to simmer, then boil and finally, become twisted and poisonous. I couldn’t understand why my friend was so hot and cold, would constantly be imitating my choices, whether they were small, style choices and phrases I used, or actual life decisions like my university degree, my big goals and hobbies and the field of work I wanted to enter into, all while never admitting that her life was looking eerily similar to mine. It’s like she thought I wouldn’t notice that anytime I did something, she would suddenly be into the exact same thing since ‘forever’! She would constantly make undermining remarks, withhold praise and one up me. And our friendship ended in me attempting to point out how I was hurt by the snide comments and clapbacks (respectfully) and her essentially denying any resentment or envy and telling me I was obviously projecting. Well, unsurprisingly I saw the same pattern in several of her other friendships whereas I had no one else in my life with this toxic dynamic.
I watched this show when it came out and loved it. This is such a phenomenal breakdown of the dynamic between those two. I actually confronted a friend once and asked her what her issue with me was. I kid you not she looked me dead in the eyes and said because you have your life together. Another close friend of mine called to apologize after going through therapy because she realized she was jealous of me during our entire friendship (I was friends with her for over 10 yrs).
Craaaazy scenes
I watched it and I loved how Ji Won wanted to live a happy life but not at the expense of others. She chose to lift up those around her, reaffirm their value, and help them out. That self-sacrificing nature of herself that was taken advantage of in her first life, she used to prevent Yang Juman from getting Ji Won's fate. I just loved how it showed that she can live a happy life for herself by loving others and taking care of yourself. The character development in this story was amazing and the lessons that we can learn were amazing. Mr. Yu concerned me because he kept spying and stalking her at first but I loved that he was willing to not be with Ji Won if it meant Ji WOn being happy and that is true love. Yes, his tendencies weren't great but his true heart showed towards the end.
I had an ex best friend who literally almost destroyed me. By the grace of God I’m alive and doing well. I was having thoughts of suicide
Thank God the connection was broken and you’re still here, alive!
Your perspective offers valuable insights, particularly when considering its implications within minority communities, particularly those to which I, as a Nigerian black woman, belong. It is essential for me to avoid generalizations, as many individuals who share this identity exhibit commendable qualities, most of us are amazing people. Nonetheless, from my experience, there exists a subset who have exhibited disparaging behavior towards me, employing tactics that are both unpleasant and manipulative in attempting to impose their degrading perspective of me upon others, forcing people to see me through their lens. Curiously, when it suits their agenda, they readily invoke our shared identity, emphasizing a sense of kinship. This dynamic poses a significant challenge, as it requires navigating complex social situations without appearing confrontational or disruptive. Upon speaking with other women, I realize I am not alone in this situation, and it is truly sad to know this.
Competitive people, especially women, are some of the most dangerous people I've ever seen.
God blessed you with the gift of speaking. This was all explained so well and calmly. Thank you for sharing your reflections and the film. I"ll have to watch it. I have a lot of trauma from having people around that i thought were friends who did not wish me well.
The way she is sipping the Tea! Lol. … I got to watch this show
Lolll it was teaaaa ☕️
Loved this show and so excited for part 2!
Coming soon! Suchhh a good show
urghhhh absolutely LOVE the thumbnail and editing🎀.
I'm obsessed with Marry My Husband. The male lead is such a dreamboat, what a MAN. Looking forward to part 2!
Soooo good I binged it so fast lol
Thank you so much for this!
Love this! Thank you.
Your so beautiful and you speak very eloquently
You always make excuses for those people ... I fazed out after 17 years, should have left after 10 years. But now I am soooo happy! The show sounds great!
So good! Everyone I have recommended it to loves it
Totally off topic of the video, but this is the first video of yours' that I've watched and all I can say is "wow". The audio is amazing, your voice and eloquence is beautiful, ur lighting is really good, and overall it's a really good video u made :) I enjoyed watching ur takes on stuff.
Wow thank you so much 🥹🥹 I’ve really tried to bring great quality here and it means so much to me that you noticed and enjoyed 🤍🤍🤍🤍
What an excellent breakdown Fumi. Im excited to watch the show now😌
Once you peak jealousy let go you come first Yes I forgive you but access denied
I’m wondering how to deal with this in the workplace
Pray, document the abuse, write to the chain of command, report it to HR( they are usually on the side of the company and if it's management...then it's tricky. You have no inside information, they do. You will go FIRST...right or wrong) ...any coworkers on your socials...delete n block. Start to disassociate. These companies don't GAF. They are there to just screw on the job. That's it.
What if the person is a roommate and your lease is only halfway through? And you have confronted the person on all these things and only got an insincere apology and the person only becomes more subtle about undermining you while also always showing off the things that they have, which you do not have?
@@ayodelesharon1575 Don't involve them in your life at all. Don't show interest in their life. Unfortunately not everyone wants to be your friend or get along with you. Treat it like you would treat someone with the same behaviour at work. Leave as soon as you can.
We need a tutorial for that lip liner gurl
Thanks very much for sharing this series. You are very knowledgeable on this topic, I have gained so much clarity.❤❤
You are so welcome
Where is part 2?
This video is so relatable
Loved this!! Will you discuss Mi-Hwan (her abusive ex) as well?
I really enjoyed your intake on the show what is the show called I really love to watch it it's very interesting to see how peoples action would determine the reaction and I don't understand why women are so envious of other women me and a good friend of mine that calls me her sister was talking about feminine energy and how they could be envious and jealous of you over the littlest things and I believe that's why my friend had cut me off because of something so stupid and then she brought up other situations that we already talked about but little backhanded compliments she would give me I don't know why she cut me off because of that because it was not even a reason to cut me off I should have Cut Her Off when she was very insensitive of when I told her that my aunt passed away in a fire and she was asking me how long you knew her and how are you crying over somebody you barely know just because she was mad because I didn't want to go to the movies with her I just don't understand why people are like that
What's the name of the movie?Did you say it was on netflix?
Marry my husband on Amazon prime!
this person is mY Mom
Saying you would look 👀 regular walking down any street is insane bc you are gorgeous smh
Backhanded compliment is a compliment followed by an insult related to the compliment In order to destroy your self perception self esteem and joy! in whatever they complimented you about first. It’s a form of gaslighting and ill intent
It’s very sad and they’re very miserable and low within themselves to even have those sort of intentions in the first place I feel sorry for them and I hope they get their validation from self instead of trying to put others down or beneath them in order to feel better about themselves! Tf
You omg I need this show
So happy to see your beautiful face ❤
So kind 😊 thank you
Blair Waldorf hated Serena- the part where she told everyone Serena had been in the mental hospital
Serena was more the hateful friend in this case bc she slept with Blair’s bf
@@vanyas4952 Nate had a thing for Serena when he was dating Blair. He left the room bc he heard she was back. Also when Blair brought up with Pete incident claiming Serena killed the guy to keep her from going to Yale.
But technically, Dan and Serena dated first so… and Dan was the victim in that scenario. And Blair mocked Serena dating Dan only to date him herself is pretty ironic. And Blair was going to break up with him
And the things that Blair did were always worse than anything Serena did tbh. If Serena was nasty to Blair, it was bc she started it.