I really like this. I always felt kind of lost trying to find my personal style over the years bc my style would change. But to your point, my personality has changed. There have always been certain elements that weaved themselves through, but functionality kind of always took over. That's fine, but what made it difficult for me emotionally was that sometimes I would find and wear something that made me feel completely cool and myself, but then people would be surprised I was wearing it. I wanted to be perceived as creative, but not shocking, but that's difficult if you don't have a super strong aesthetic. I also didn't have the means to create an entire closet of clothes that I actually WANTED to wear all the time. However, I think this is the very real experience of being a normal person
People didn't dress punk, they WERE punk. People didn't dress old money, they WERE old money. Fashion has to be fit for purpose and needs to allign with your own lifestyle and so many people miss out that element.
even beyond cultural purpose, I think a lot of folks caught up in the social-media-aesthetic-whirlwind also end up thinking less about just the functional purpose of clothes~! fundamentally, they're supposed to protect your body while you're out doing the things you need to do. so many fashion items end up actually getting in the way of that (physically making you less comfortable or restricting your movement, making you feel like you're only able to do certain activities that you feel dressed for, etc). imo, returning to clothes that are most utilitarian for your lifestyle is a great way to connect with what makes sense for you, personally
Honestly, I hear that. Fashion used to be more of a playground for me when I was a student and could really just go as dressed down or dressed up as I wanted each day. Since I graduated and am working, I find it’s more of a problem that I don’t have a huge selection of office-appropriate clothes, or just clothes that I can wear sitting at a desk all day and not cause discomfort (too tight, too warm, too cold, etc). I still love fashion, but I dress more for comfort now and my most cherished items are pieces that I can go to work in, can do a big grocery shop in, or can just be comfortable for my recreation activities. Anything else causes me more unhappiness just because of its inconvenience and dysfunction :(
Ehh? This is only likely to be true if you're chronically online. My feed isn't fed frequently and isn't focused on fashion that I wear (i.e., I follow a few historical dress accounts).
100% agree it hurts the most especially when you’re a teenage girl and you see your peers wearing trendy things it makes you feel like you’re not doing enough
I feel like people minimize what they’re saying by saying they are “yapping”. One is allowed to speak in depth about things. If people don’t wanna listen they don’t have to. Loved the video and rly relate
I personally love the word. It may sound depreciating but by god does it sound so silly. Like yes I am yapping and rambling and talking so much. However I will not stop because I have to say what I have to say
recently i developed a hatred for my yapping after hearing a recording of myself going on rants that i think are ridiculous and stupid and i have felt ridiculous and stupid ever since my dear internet strangers!
it’s a meme that occasionally recirculates on twitter but jemima kirke writing “i think you guys might be thinking about yourselves too much” on an ig story genuinely has helped me with building a stronger personal identity 😭
I'm dead serious when I tell you that I hardly noticed your style change? I've always perceived you as being a stylish person and you have a very distinct appearance that shines even if you have drawn brows or not 😂
Also, the way i saw it, she never "overdressed" or "overaccessorized", it has always been very pretty and tasteful, yet simple Like, "sure, she's wearing puffy sleeves, but it's all the same color, and built with less than 3 different fabrics" or "the fabric is quite simple, because the embroidery is the thing that should stand out", y'know what i'm saying
This. I never noticed her style change too much, because it is still distinctively her. I always just took it as subtle changes as one tend to do as they grow up and evolve or learn/feel comfortable about themselves.
I have to admit, I started watching your channel because of your initial fashion style. As a 2nd generation older(almost 60) Asian woman, I did not often get to see Asian women in eccentric, period influenced fashion, which is what I favor. As a child, I was discouraged from doing so by my immigrant mother, and ridiculed by her when I grew older and dressed as I pleased. The internet has allowed me to see young people, young Asian women, wearing all kinds of fashion. This has brought so much joy to the child within me. Thank you for being a part of that.
@jellyrolly im gonna sound a bit self centered for bringing the conco back to me, but as an asian woman not from an immigrant family background (adopted), i feel like even asians in my case, feel pressured to conform to not looking eccentric. ive met maybe 2 young asian women my age who dressed alternative, but who were immigrants (parents or themselves), subconsciously telling myself that they were brave for it, in a way (bc on top of being seen as a foreigner, they dont mind being perceived as "weird") but i guess, if that makes sense, there r also adoptees like me who dont rly explore having a "weird" sense of fashion, bc we get to look more like the other asians that r a bit more "normal", those who come from immigrant families who r seen as asian.. thats vaguely how i feel abt it?? the fact that me not having a weird style + not wanting to explore having one (out of laziness) is also convenient bc i get to "look" like the asians that r seemingly not disconnected from their heritage, so im not adding a layer of smth that makes me distinct on top of feeling neither too asian/too european (in my case) i feel like rhis is a whole lot of me projecting a subconscious thought, but i feel like its smth thats not unlikely to happen to other asians in similar cases as mine
I’m a third gen asian american woman who also dresses as a form of expression/“eccentrically” and your comment touched me so much❤️ I’m so proud of you for expressing yourself this way in spite of your mom and society’s expectations/stereotypes. I’m sure it must’ve been hard in the time you were growing up. Thanks for your comment :)
The best fashion advice “learn about everything else except fashion” is spot on and applicable to a lot of industries. Marketing coworkers told me something similar ie “if you want to work in marketing, don’t major in marketing.” When you learn outside of the area your trying to be in, you bring in a different perspective and you’re opinion in those other topics will def start influencing what you do, value and eventually wear.
this is definitely subjective, but a lot of people who are skilled at fashion often learn a lot about fashion. If I use myself as an example, I look through fashion through a historical lens and also research on WHY certain fashion senses come into trend at some point in time, and through that, I get to mishmash what I've learned and add my own spin to clothing in order to create what _I_ would like to wear and what items fit MY personality best without looking like I'm just blatantly copying a trend. People take inspiration all the time, it's just a matter of intention, and knowing how to put your own spin to an already existing idea. I assume it's the same for marketing, you see what forms of marketing work, and you add your own spin in order to learn what stands out, it may be risky, but it'll definitely make your brand stand out more, which is what you want when you're marketing something, right?
34:38 "I don't need to prove everyday that I'm an interesting person." That pretty much sums up my attitude. I like to dress up. I like to dress up for the grocery store: I put together a banging outfit, maybe even makeup. But I work & study from home + I'm a hermit, so that's basically my one outing of the month. On the daily, I wear no makeup & live my life in sweatpants. & I'm a happy camper x
I'm the same, I love dressing up going out (the few times I go out in the month) and I enjoy planning my outfits depending on where I'm going. But I refuse to be ''made up'' at home - if I'm not allowed to be free from societal pressures inside my own home, where will I relax and rest?
Very much the same I love dressing up. Due to my job I spend a lot of time in athleisure . So when I go to the grocery store or out with my friends I love wearing a vintage dress that I get to wear maybe once a year.
Sadly I feel like a lot of people don't don't give you a chance because they view you as uninteresting person who doesn't have personality solely because you don't wear anything stylish. Even nowadays a lot of people in the goth and alt community don't give you a chance because again.. they think you are not real goth/alt if you don't wear the particular style of clothes that are specific for them. Bruh.. being goth/alt isn't only about the clothing style. It's about music,movies,values etc.. but I feel like in this generation those things are viewed as less important and again if you don't have the style you are automatically not a real goth/alt.
@chrissy138 You'll be a lot happier if you stop trying to cater to people you disagree with instead of dissing an entire generation based on the bad takes of a few.
i think that personal style should be wearing what someone wants to wear - as someone who dresses goth, im not doing that to be "unique", its because i like how i feel when i wear it; being able to wear my favourite colours, chains, fun makeup - it makes me happy personal style should just be a conglomerate of what makes you happy
for me, finding comfortable but fun clothes has been the best balance - my favourite clothes are not comfortable or practical and that's unfortunately not viable for daily living - which is another thing that people forget is practicality !!
Exactly, Victorian goth here, and i wear my outfits absolutely everywhere! And i don't do it for people or to stand out but for myself, if people like it cool, if people don't like it cool. I don't care and never will in my very honest opinion lmao. My outfits look extremely uncomfortable to wear, but to me they're really comfortable, the only time i ever feel uncomfortable wearing smth is when i wear normal outfits. And I sometimes get asked silly questions like "aren't your boots too heavy?" and i just reply with "no im used to it atp lol" or i got once "aren't you wearing alot of accessories?" and im just like well🤷♀😭😭. But all of that to say that im happy with the way i dress and it should be the same for everyone. People in general should do things to please themselves not others!!
I sometimes feel weird for being a goth who doesn't like makeup on myself, but the subculture has weirdly helped me evade the issues with chasing tiktok micro trends. I did have a time where I dressed more "basic" and it was fine, but there's just a difference with wearing a black skirt and a chain belt
I my typical outfit is choosing a fun patterned skirt, a top that is in the same color palette or otherwise matches the skirt, and then some big “tacky” statement earrings and….. this is comfortable for me! My skirts are a comfy fabric with pockets and an elastic band My sister recently had a trip for her bachelorette and asked me not to ‘dress like Miss Frizzle this weekend’ it was her trip so I understand her wanting me to try to fit into the group and dress more lowkey and I complied on her behalf But honestly *that* made me feel uncomfortable, the sundress I brought (because she said I’d need a ‘casual dressy’ outfit) specifically because it looked extremely simple to me and I thought it would fit in with her sorority friends *still* stood out because it had a (very subtle imo) pattern and other people wore all black or a one color top and a jean skirts I tried specifically to not be eye catching but even when I tried to be plain I wasn’t plain *enough* I didn’t feel like myself at all, I tried to pick things I thought she’d approve of but even then I felt like I only did a ‘passable’ job I’d feel leagues more comfortable with my Miss Frizzle skirts
(for added context when I say ‘fun patterned skirts’ I mean like jellyfish or a multicolored germs or a desert landscape, they are genuinely Miss Frizzle-esque, lol and I take that as a compliment vs the ‘pattern’ on the sundress, think like Old Navy because I think that’s literally where I got it (so for me *very* understated!) It was even like a muted color palette like olive and navy but that was still the most ‘eye-catching’ thing there)
I think being truly "basic" (in a negative sense) is wearing what everybody else does just for the sake of fitting in. You can wear popular and easily available clothes and still unique in them as long as you love them and feel comfortable in them. And a lot of the time you can tell somebody feels more comfortable and confident compared to someone who just dresses up, even if their 'costume' is tee and jeans.
I mean, as someone who loves looking basic af. I don't even think the "uniqueness" matters. Personally, as long as I'm wearing something I think looks cute and comfortable. I literally do not care about going further than that or personalising my style more. It's not about fitting in for me, but my personal taste is genuinely just basic af.
When I was like 13 I loved dressing alternative (i wanted people to fear me). There was this girl that hated me (warranted), and once I saw her out of school with her entire friend group. 4 girls, all dressed EXACTLY the same. Same dress with the same cut and color and very similar prints and same tiny shoulder bag, even same hairdo. To this day, I have NEVER felt so repelled by a fashion choice in my life. Like, dress in basics all you want, but at least don't be so uniform, y'know?
@@LunaWitcherArt What's wrong w ppl enjoying matching their outfits w their friends? Who cares if it's uniform. If they enjoy matching that's fine. It's fine if you don't like it. But there's nothing wrong w the way those girls were dressing, they were just little girls matching their outfits.
@@Loool_7656 theres obviously nothing "wrong" with it, but it's boring and kinda sad. You don't have to be a maximalist to have cute clothes and even when it's basic, it can still have a personalized touch. But dressing EXACTLY like other ppl? It's lame and shows a fear of standing out even a little.
@@MsJoana111 If it's in a friendgroup and you're supposed to be matching it can be fun. Which is probably what it was. It's not sad or boring ur just looking to deeply into it, or perhaps it's something you don't like. Which again, is fine. But again, it's not a big deal and it doesn't necessarily reflect on some sort of lack in personal identity in the girls.
i don’t dress for attention or to be unique. in fact, i hate drawing attention to myself and i hate that many of my outfits to tend to make people stare a bit. i dress the way i do because it feels like me, it’s an expression of myself. it’s also a way for me to be creative. dressing up gives me confidence and makes me feel like i’m being authentic to who i am, i don’t feel comfortable in basic clothes. they make me feel like i’m wearing a costume and trying to be someone i’m not. there’s nothing wrong with basic fashion, and i do dress basic sometimes for practicality reasons, but not everyone dresses eccentrically because they’re looking for validation
It's so annoying when people assume fashion is just for attention or status. A. The weirdest clothing could not contain the alienation I feel in every day life B. If I dressed like a total normie, I would still stand out, but in a much worse way.
I used to hate people looking at me too. You’re dressed differently, of course people are going to look at you. lol. I have had people tell me “i wish i could dye my hair” so many people are appreciating your look. Dressing differently than most people will get you many compliments for trying something different. try to change your mindset on it.
@@aalmondmilk i mean compliments are fine, i still don’t enjoy the attention though. my outfits aren’t even that outrageous, but i tend to stick out because i live in a rural area where everyone wears leggings and t shirts everyday. anyone who dresses up even a little bit sticks out like a sore thumb here
I really appreciate this. I hate the concept of looking "basic" because often it is just clothing that is conformtable & affordable, while Statement fashion pieces are hard to find thrifted or just wildly expensive in stores. I feel similarly to the idea of "looking straight" or "looking queer." You are queer, whether you have a mullet or a septum piercing or tattoos or none of the above. People who categorize others superficially on their personal style and deem others "not real" because they're too "basic" are not people I want to be around.
you're absolutely just as queer whether you look queer or not, but different types of flagging are valuable in the queer community for a lot of people. i don't have a mullet or a septum piercing or tattoos but i definitely want to read as queer to other queer people and not just because i'm trying to date. of course you can talk to people to let them know various things about you, including your personality and queerness, but you can get a head start with your style and i'm not really sure there's such thing as a neutral "basic" style in the queer community? i don't identify with any labels for my presentation but it's all a choice, a degree of femininity/masculinity/androgyny, a degree of edginess or not, that's going to affect others' perception.
@@ArtichokeHunter People find their people, however you dress. I'm not queer but I'm neurodivergent and many people are both. I'm not fashionable or trendy. I don't dress to stand out but I don't follow the current styles either. I'm low-key weird. But weird recognises weird and I have lots of beautiful peacock friends with rainbow hair or cosplay outfits because I'm loudly intolerant of bigotry. People just click even if they're not out or not diagnosed because it feels like coming home when people just get you.
66 years old. Dress to satisfy me. Yes, denim on denim, braided hair, leather boots....took a long time to be comfortable to be me. I feel more beautiful now than I ever did. Wrinkles, gray hair, chubby...really me. So happy.
About this time last year, I decided to find my "personal style", as most of my life I've worn the uniform or dress code of my job. I don't know if I found a style or not, but decided I love super long skirts, and that's what I wear now. I learnt to sew to be able to make clothes I like. And the best part of that is POCKETS! Pockets on everything, real pockets where I can fit my keys, cellphone, wallet, sunglasses, tissues, you name it.
At 13:45 you said the realest thing I've ever heard "I personally think it's rooted in the fact that many of us are unhappy with our own generation. We don't want to be like everybody else because everyone else is lonely, umbilically tied to their phones, doesn't know how to read, needs therapy, and is addicted to online shopping. But I think we're afraid to admit that many of us are actually somewhat similar to everyone else, dealing with at least some of the same pathetic problems." Mic drop right there. You got us.
Personally I don't relate to that at all, I have no problem admitting I have problems, I like relating to people and my distaste towards a lot of people wearing similar things is more that they don't stimulate my brain (which is fine), usually people don't wear the flatterng silhouettes (which is fine too) and choose cheap fabric with cheap prints, waistbands instead of belts (which is also okay especially on tight budget, it's just that I don't vibe with it). The last thing is that it feels inauthentic to me (depends on the outfit and person) like someone just saw the trend and mimicked it or that they are easily impressed or don't have opinions about clothes. I generalised a lot because the popular skirt cut and top cut together don't make me automatically apathetic.
@@potatorcat yea kind it icky you don't even need to be mentally ill to go to a therapist just as a mental check up is good like your doctor's visit weird she said it srsly....alot of people need therapy doesn't make them bad
@@natasha5553it doesn't make people bad (and she said nothing contrary btw), but it IS bad, that most people need therapy. It shows the status of the world - of the sick systems and relationships we created over the last 2000 years.
The funny thing is, I feel the exact opposite about having a low-effort wardrobe. Wearing a simple pair of jeans and a t-shirt caused me a lot MORE stressed about how I look, and it made me miserable. No matter what, I always felt ugly (even though I looked the same as everyone else). A few months ago I found the most obnoxiously colorful LSD-looking sweater (with shoulder pads) and I couldn't let it go. Did I look pretty? I don't know, but having that in my wardrobe made me SO happy. I'm not saying my fashion style is unique✨ because it isn't (a lot of it is comfy, colorful, cozy and frilly), but it gives me comfort in the way a lot of neutral fashion doesn't. I feel a little more like myself when I wear these clothes. I always look like I put effort in, even if I just grabbed the first two things I saw. I have pieces that are special and meaningful to me (like my LSD-looking sweater). I really want to push my style further and get more unique and fun clothes. It makes me feel more colorful and alive and happy.
I feel the same - I recently had to wear an old t-shirt for the first time in years and while it was comfortable, I felt like absolute death precisely because I had no control over it.
Yeah i do feel self conscious abt wearing a tshirt jeans n hoodie. Though i still will i like having the energy to put together outfits and it boosts my mood.
This! When I dress as basic as possible i just hate looking at myself i need to be look vampyre like all the time lmao to feel like myself i just hate feeling human lmao
Yeah! I feel like I’m cosplaying as a “normal” person. Whenever I tried to blend in by wearing basic clothes I felt like a complete stranger to myself!
Throughout the video I kept wondering if at some point I would also grow tired of dressing more uniquely... but towards the end you said something that made me realise we started dressing "weirdly" for entirely different reasons. I finally embraced myself being weird, when I would continuously not be accepted, no matter how hard I tried. And the _moment_ I stopped trying to be liked and accepted... I suddenly made new friends. People who were kind, and genuine, and liked me for who I was. Ever since then, whenever I make "weird" outfits, I know that others might find it weird, but I do it purely because it makes ME happy :) And that's the only thing that matters. 💚
tbh i think the best way to have individual style outside of trends is just to have an actual personality. If you know what you like and don’t like you won’t be influenced. This includes what is practical for your day to day life. Easier said than done.
This! I've been dressing the same way since I was a teen. I'm 26 now and I don't like most of the clothes that are trending right now. I like bold colors and patterns and I buy things that resonate with that. But these clothes don't grab people's attention, I'm the one commanding the attention because I have a personality that's much bolder and colorful than my outfits
100% I used to feel bad when shopping with friends because it's always been very difficult for me to find something I truly like, so I was always embarrassed to waste everyone's time. Lately, I've just come to terms with the fact that this happens because I know myself so profoundly that even if I find something pretty, I know it doesn't match with what I am/like/dream of.
I hate my narc mom who is obsessed with following trends bc she believes she has to be in the loop at all times. I am extremely opposed to buying useless jewelry, bags, clothes, shoes just because “it’s what everyone is wearing”.🙄 I DON’T CARE ABKUT WHAT OTHERS ARE WEARING! ffs why *should* I care? It’s like she’s training me to *care* so deeply about things that don’t matter to me at all… I’m so sick of living with her it’s so dmging to my mental health. The worst part is, she will go out of her way to buy things for me when I never asked for it. She will buy me clothes, jackets, shoes, and force me to try them on. I hate my relationship ship with her. I honestly don’t have space to breathe from her constant smothering. I don’t have room to be myself because she doesn’t allow it, she doesn’t approve it. God help us all…
as a former ostentatiously styled teen to now pretty basic looking adult, this definitely resonated. i used fashion as a way to be interesting/worthy of attention but now that i've settled into my skin, i don't feel the need to chase trends in search of my next "look"/to prove i'm ahead of the curve. it's nice to just be and enjoy whatever beauty happens across my path.
I’m just in my early 20s, I went from trying these things to stand out to “oh that seems like it would be cute”. I wear mainly thrifted clothes with few new pieces added. I don’t care if I get compliments, I wear what I feel like wearing that day. I wear my mom’s old clothes and I appreciate compliments and all but I don’t need them anymore. Just last week I wore a pink sweater that was my moms in like the 90s, a brown pleated skirt, knee high boots my mom bought for me and leg warmers to add some break in the browns of my skirt and pantyhose to the black of my boots. I felt genuinely confident in how I was dressed and got more compliments than I ever have on an outfit and alternatively I wore a t shirt, jeans and a little velour hoodie and got cat called by a total creep the day before. Most of the time I’m in leggings and a comfortable shirt or sweater but I’m not trying to express myself or stand out. I just see things and I think they could be cute and go for it. I’m dressing how little 7 year old me wanted for me in my teens that I was too scared to do. Do I sometimes look “basic” yeah and? Do I usually try to wear things I like even if they’re in a basic look also yeah. I struggled so much with external validation that now, I just wear something I think would be cute and comfortable from the style I know I’ve always wanted deep down. Even my makeup, people at my high school were homophobic, so much so that I was called names because of how I dressed and acted when I’m not part of the lgbtq community. I never wore makeup as a rebellion and now I’ve discovered red eyeliner. I do dark red lips, eyeliner, glitter and white on my water line with red on my lash line. No one told me to do it, I just feel good like this. It’s fun and not everyone likes it and why should I care?
My Japanese language teacher told me about 部屋着 (heyagi) which just means room clothes and its like the clothes that aren't pajamas but clothes you don't wear outside because they'll get gross so they're clothes specifically meant for when you're awake doing things around your house and I've never been the same since discovering it. I feel like I need to change into different clothes to get into the mindset to be awake especially when it gets dark at like 4 now.
Ropa de entrecasa we say in my family. Yeah, my life improve A LOT since I started changing my pajamas, insane how something so small can impact your life.
I'm surprised to know that not everyone had this concept! In Brazil we also have this, I think I actually have more "stay at home clothes" than outside clothes lol
6:17 As someone who wore a school uniform my entire school life, that part about liking wearing uniforms more because you don’t have to worry about what to wear each day is so true, I can’t imagine the stress and meltdowns I would have had if I had to pick an outfit out of my wardrobe every day that I went to school for 13 years. On top of that, putting on my school uniform put my brain into school time mode when I could focus better and was in the right mindset to be at school.
I think people talking down on those who dress basic is an outcome of those dress basic talking down on those who like to be stylish. There’s always a battle.
i went to an ✨art high school✨with no uniform, and i’ll never forget when we did a debate in one of my classes over whether or not we should have a uniform. when one student argued that we can’t express ourselves with a uniform, my teacher responded “why don’t you find a less superficial way of expressing yourself” 😂 i don’t think fashion is always superficial, but i think so about that moment anytime im stressing too much over my personal style or what to wear
I remember having that same debate in high school, and of course that same argument was giving, and i just think it's weak. You can have individuality despite a school uniform. The way you style your hair, pair the pieces of the set (it was an all girls school at that time, and the options proposed varied, there were skirts of any length, diffrenet types of shirts, pants and shorts), what schoolbag you use and how you carry it, and we're not even talking about anyone's personality... like wearing the same uniform does not suddenly make everyone the exact same. But my school was a private school and many a girl was from a rich family and was going shopping every week or so while some of us weren't that rich at all, so i just think these girls didn't want to look like the poors lol I really would have liked a uniform though, i always struggled getting up and ready in the morning so not having to think about what to wear would have been great for me
I went to school in the uk where every school had a uniform. I can’t imagine not having a uniform, the charity “non-uniform days” were so stressful with kids’ judgement, I can’t imagine doing that every day!
I understand the suggestion for a uniform especially when it comes to wealth disparity but I would find it a little ironic to go to an art school to see that everyone wears the same outfit. I think its a bit pretentious to look at ones care for expressing themselves through clothing as " superficial " seeing how when we look back at history and the simple length of a womans skirt could be a form of rebellion and a political statement. Fashion can be way less vain than we give it credit for.
As a plus-sized individual all my life, I've never had many eccentric/alternative fashion options to get saturated by. So I take my intensily-procured goth pieces and wear them as a trophy - I, too, can dress HOWEVER I want. I WILL express myself even though the industry doesn't want me to.
I feel like because of this Im kind on the opposite journey to Mina. Growing up fat buying clothes was always so stressful and sad. Ive dressed for comfort and neutrality all my life, now as an adult I want to try more "eccentric" stuff.
@@blu- I relate to this too! I was afraid to be shamed when I want to wear cute stuffs like lolita fashion because I'm fat and brown skinned. Now when I'm older and don't care about what others think, I started to wear what I want to wear, and it made my life happier!
thank you for sharing! respectfully disagree. nothing gives me more energy and brings me more joy than putting on something interesting and bright in "my style" every morning. nothing cheers me up on a cold grey morning in the city than seeing, among people in the same long puffy jackets of grey-black-brown, another fashionista... also smiling at me
I am also a big fan of colorful winter clothes! Right now everything is black or gray, so I will wear my bright yellow and light blue jacket to bring the color in!
I think it's also obligation vs choice. I also love experimenting daily going to work and dopamine dressing. However some days I just don't feel like doing anything, I throw on some pants and a top as I drag myself to work. It's my choice, I don't feel like I owe a standard to others. It's an hobby of sorts. But living in a city where you see experimental people daily, having to film videos which you talk about fashion and having a clear visual brand... I can see how it can be exhausting and feeling like a costume after a while, like a burnout. It becomes an obligation, work. I understand how she feels and it's a good idea to rest that part so she can focus on other things that bring her joy.
your editing in this video is INSANE, the doll outfits, the backgrounds !!!! this is the first video i’ve connected to in a while because style has become harder with dealing with depression. i was known for being the crazy colorful outfits girl and i’ve lost it a bit
In the sewing world we are loving the younger millennials and gen X, 2020 lockdown all these amazing creative kids across the planet dug out grandma's old sewing machine and found the bag of 1970s clothing next to it and went wild with it. We've seen the same shift where they've calmed down a bit with the interesting design elements but have massively embraced upcycling. Don't believe what they say, The Kids Today are awesome.
Aw this is the most heartwarming comment I've ever read, I'm one of those kids, I love the 70s and up-cycling clothes and really anything creative and I'm very passionate about everything I do. This is so nice to read when so many articles only talk badly about us younger generations and so many employers won't hire us without 5 years of experience+ making it really difficult to get a job and countless rejections. This has genuinely made my day, I wish you all the best ❤️
it’s taken me years to feel comfortable in my style and learning how to sew has been a huge part of that. happy to join the sewing crew here on youtube ❤
Thank youuu! I'm going to be joining the ranks of home garment constructors soon!! I got a sewing machine for my birthday, and going to my local sewing hub to learn how to use it soon
@@Gr95dc There is no such thing as a bad kid, it's adults putting kids into situations they can't handle and then being shocked and judgemental when they act out over it that's the problem. You want to be 12 and go through the peer pressure of social media, because I don't. At 12 I was riding my bike to my friends house because her brother had a Playstation (1) and not a single photograph was taken that day.
I lost my style and found it again after having stayed off social media for a year. I started to recall my old inspirations and personal preferences once I was no longer constantly influenced by what I see on instagram.
Me too! I realized what I really wanted to look like formed in my adolescence (pre-social media) and life circumstance kept me from dressing or looking how I always wanted. Now in my near 30s, I'm starting to rediscover my own personal taste/style that I've always had but never allowed to thrive.
I had the same situation. I stopped following a lot of fashion influencers because their ideas are completely different from what I am comfortable wearing. Especially during this all quiet luxury or old money trend. I feel like I am a 10 y.o kid who is playing around with her mom's clothes. Not to mention the over consumption because of the sense of FOMO to get everything that they considered must-haves so we can look as good as them.
@@artesiarastania5998 Oh that is such a great point about the fomo. I also shop waaayyy less now, less impulse buying both online and in store, and overall just less purchases period.
For me personally, fashion is just a way to bring my personality to people. I'm autistic, so it's often really hard to show others who I am. I also adapt my outfits depending on my mood and vibe. It's really just about conveying my values, but I find it interesting that others use their clothes as external validation.
i feel this! i went to a school with uniforms, too, so i naturally compared myself and how i looked in the uniform to other students back in my school days. somehow, there were tiny, minuscule differences in the way we wore the same clothes, and i would be constantly chasing the smallest ways to make myself "fit in," whether that be wearing a certain color shoes, wearing a certain style of sweater, etc. don't even get me started in how i stressed over the outfits i wore on days we could wear regular clothes instead. by the time i graduated high school and realized i was autistic, i wasn't dressing to fit in nearly as much, and i started picking out clothing pieces that *i liked* and was reflective of *my* personality. i dress for the occasion, and while sometimes that's quirky statement pieces or vintage styles, whenever i'm not going somewhere it's almost always comfy shorts and a graphic tee.
@user-kw7mr6xt9n same!! I love to dress up when I want to and sometimes, I'll run around like I just woke up. Honestly, I think the clothes you wear are just there to make you feel more comfortable in your own skin: whether that's expression or comfort or sth completely different for you.
I feel the same way about my fashion choices as you do. I'm also autistic. I never participated in clothing trends or dressed to fit in/to look like someone else though of course I did and do dress in ways that look like other people, just not purposely. I do not seek to gain external validation or stand out/fit in but I dress to feel comfortable in the moment - sometimes that means corset, puffy skirts, accessories and complicated makeup and sometimes that means a band shirt and jeans. I just wanna feel good in what I wear and that's it.
i am also autistic and i never felt the need to fit in with my clothes! but i only got the most comfortable exploring my personal style when i entered art school. it was really nice and now, 3 years later, i’m really happy by the way i present myself. i think it really reflects myself and what i like. i have a question for you tho! do you get annoyed when something you like and it was deemed weird, gets trendy? like i’ve been hanging toys in my bags and purses since a long time, but now it’s a trend and tbh its i feel a bit weird about it. i guess seeing something that i worked so hard to embrace and not ashamed of (and thinking about all the bullying that i got in my life) it really gets me frustrated that now everyone can do it so easily :/ what do you guys think?
admittedly, i did really love how ostentatious your style was in a time where things like fashion were getting super conservative and boring, but you still shine through in your analysis and that hasn't changed on personal style, ive swung between being super fashion forward and then comfort based and as ive become more confident in myself as a person im coming to have a nice blend of both my outfits have never really been a representation of me as a whole though, i dress boring and think im boring but my colleagues and friends continously remind me of how interesting my life/hobbies/thinking is so idk what to make of it lol
Thank you Mina Le for your honesty and trust in us viewers :-) I applaud rethinking yourself, being creative and accumulating pieces you lived through. Im 34 yrs old and buying trends from times I was a child or teen and couldn't afford, like my dream shoes or bags etc. And combining them with new trend pieces 👾
oh i love giving myself a cartoon closet for every day, it definitely helps with decision-fatigue and over-stimulation. i buy several of the same items so i can wear the same thing for a week or two before doing laundry, and i save creative outfits for when i’m doing something special 🤷🏻♀️
As someone with Adhd, this is so real. I have so many styles that I would love to dress in. But Adhd makes decision making and timekeeping so much harder. Most mornings I don't have time to put lotion on my body, nevertheless decide which accessories go with which outfit. So for me, it's joggers and a T-shirt on a regular basis.
Hooray for self awareness!! There's so much enlightenment in this video. I've watched your videos on and off over the years and I feel like this one really resonates in a peaceful way of finding self 💌 congrats on your journey
35:28 really resonated with me. During my time at university, I went from a design field to a business field and felt alot less pressured to prove myself as a creative individual. in my experience design spaces come with a pressure to always showcase creativity and individuality, almost like you must wear your uniqueness as part of your identity
That’s so exciting! I’ve been sewing my own clothes for about a year and it’s really honed my personal style and made me so much happier. Good luck! Sewing is so much easier than it’s made out to be.
@ yea I actually used to sew in quarantine but stopped. I’m finally getting back into it I know most of the basic stuff. Thanks for sharing though it’s cool to meet other seamstress.
literally got a sewing machine this yesr bc i was tired of what i saw online and what options i had, decided if i can't find what i want I guess i have to make it myself!
@@Vega921 WHAT? I think sewing has an extremely steep learning curve. At least when it comes to making well fitting clothes, which is what I struggle with most. I don't want to wear anything that looks worse than fast fashion but better and it'll take me so much time, effort and costly fabric to get there. I'm in awe of everyone who has mastered this skill!
I think about personal style in a very simple way. Do you like the item? Do you feel good when wearing it? That's personal style. Personal style is not about being unique or basic. If it's trendy or not. If it looks good or not. It's about being authentic and to dress to satify yourself. I've dressed kind of eccentric ever since I was a kid. Always been a weird, creative, extraverted girl (Combined ADHD). Never dressed for anyone, but myself. Have been insecure about it a lot. But the need to be myself is big. So I just wear whatever I want :)))
This! My country is pretty restrictive when it comes to what's "acceptable" so the minutes I live for myself, I'll be seen as "weird". The thing is I've never done these things to be seen as "quirky". It's a natural thing and it's unfortunate that our culture is too restrictive. But I'm not gonna overhaul my entire closet just because someone said I looked ugly because I'm the most comfortable dressed as myself instead of trying to shove myself into a certaint aesthetic for the sake of conformity. And as someone who's also neurodivergent, I stand by the idea that wearing whatever you want is the goal be it it happens to look more "basic" or "quirky" as long as it makes you happy.
Yes! This is "personal style" in my opinion. It's your uncle who always wears cargo shorts and a metal bandshirt with a cap for as long as you can remember. And it's also your grandma dressing in midiskirts and a cashmere sweater. They found "their look".
When I was a teen I had this deep-emerald green blouse of an unusual cut, I have no idea where it came from. My mom told me she used to have a similar one when she was young. It was flowy and had these flowy sleewes, and I liked the colour and the look so much, I wore it as long as it fit me. I probably wouldn't wear such a piece now, but back then it was my favourite. It's the garment I remember the most from my childhood.
I'M SO GLAD YOU MADE THIS because I honestly feel so pressured to have a personal style by people around me and the internet but I just want to wear clothes and go out without looking like everyone else or feeling unaccomplished
Do you mind explaining more why it bothers you? I’m curious because I often don’t like it either. For me I think it’s the idea of representing myself to others? Some people treat fashion as communication, which is valid, but it just confuses me. If I think of trying to say or represent or express something with my clothes it becomes like a costume. Even when I’m trying to represent or express myself! To me it ends up feeling like acting and dressing up as myself instead of just existing as myself while wearing some clothes I like. If that difference makes sense?
@@EmL-kg5gnthis is an interesting comment. I’m on the opposite spectrum, I like that clothes allow you to mask who you are, I like that I get to construct another version that I want the world to see. That imbues meaning into how I dress because I want it represent something about me. And an outward thought out construction of who you are can absolutely be like acting as you said. From my perspective, I want to act and from yours, perhaps you don’t. It doesn’t have to have any meaning, they’re just clothes not who you or I actually am.
YES! My outfits vary on what I how feel, but one thing that never changes is the fact that I’m confident, beautiful, and HAPPY! It leaks over and no matter what my clothes are I look fab 🤷🏻♀️
Reducing my time on social media has helped a lot. When you can’t compare yourself to others on social media, you compare yourself less to others in general. You open the space occupied by attempting to fit in and fill it with discovering what you like and enjoy.
Lynn Yaeger put it beautifully when asked about her closet of archival fashion “ these are my clothes,..,These are my clothes” which is how I feel compliments are nice and all but my clothes are for me to feel like myself in, they’re just my clothes
Interestingly, I'm going through the opposite. I grew up in a poor area in Brazil, where we wore uniforms to school to avoid prejudice (since most of us didn't have the money for going out clothes) and, since there's a lot of sexism and a lot of racism, there's a sort of homogenous look that's expected of you when you grow up. Now that I moved out of Brazil and I find myself in a city where nobody cares what you dress like, I have the freedom to choose whatever. I grew up so used to wearing basic clothes because that's what's expected and now I starve for finding my style, wearing crazy outfits, crazy hair colors. So interesting to see the opposite happening to you!
I toned down my style this year for comfort but recently I put back an over the top outfit that I used to wear last year and it felt so good and so me!! Fashion is different for everyone
I’ve also toned down my style this year for comfort (because getting up super early in the morning and spending like an hour getting ready just didn’t feel good to me💀 also I became tired of being occasionally harrassed by people at my school and I’ve had nobody really bother me all year since I’ve started dressing “basic” which is nice I still like my outfits and I’ll dress up for special occasions like outtings with my friends. I do notice that people do infact seem to overlook you if you’re not dressed up because the way that I am treated when I have an outfit put together with makeup on as well- vs when I’m dressed casually, it’s night and day. I consider myself alternative💀 I like goth music and I’m pretty strong in my leftist beliefs, I feel like a problem today with fast fashion and what not is that I can’t automatically trust other people dressed alternatively because it seems a lot of them don’t really embody the political or moral beliefs of the subculture they’re imitating.
Life is too short to worry about what future you might think of your photos. The photos will bring back memories. Wear what makes you happy, if you can, if that is simple or unique, more power to you 😀
I really love this! As a costume/fashion designer myself, people are often surprised because I dress quite “normal” in my every day life. I always felt like I didn’t fit in with other designers or the industry as a whole because I don’t dress myself in a particularly ‘out there’ way like my peers did at fashion school. I always shop second hand and I just love to be comfortable more than anything. I want to pour my creativity into my actual designs rather than my own self, unless I’m wearing my own stuff for a photoshoot or something where I can enjoy dressing up for a couple of hours. I just hate this idea that you will only be taken seriously as an artist if you’re dressing super expressively. You can make art without having to BE the art. No shame in dressing however you want, but I don’t think it’s fair to judge someone’s creative potential purely on how they dress themselves. This video felt really validating so thank you ❤
i had a huge “personal style” journey when i got sober! i was a major party girl up until 01/06/24 when i quit drinking/drugs altogether after another disastrous black-out. i was majorly insecure when i was using/partying and covered this up by wearing ott (specifically-gothic) outfits. i thought this is what my “friends” and even my boyfriend found cool/attractive/interesting. i thought they’d never actually find me interesting…so i essentially compensated to take the attention away from myself-a person i fundamentally thought was never good looking/cool enough. i tuned out my insecurities in elaborate clothing and liquor. when i quit i had a major fashion existential crisis…i hated everything in my closet and just realized how inauthentic many items were, and how impractical and agonizing getting dressed was everyday. i essentially felt like i had to get to know myself all over again. something that ironically helped me was finding a “style uniform” embracing a some minimalism in my closet, and limiting aspirational fashion content on my feed. i feel more comfortable and truly myself when i get dressed now. i feel much less burdened with a need to perform for my peers. my insecurities are not perfect or cured by any means, but eliminating means i was using to harm myself further is allowing me to better address those issues honestly. i love my closet now, and am thankful for my sobriety everyday with the gifts it has given me 🫶🏻 this video really makes me feel seen!
Congratulations on getting sober!!! That’s such a big achievement 🥹 I hope you can continue to maintain sobriety but if you ever relapse I hope you’ll remember how to find the way out. Either way recovery has ups and downs so be kind to yourself! I hope you’ve got people supporting you and that you’re so proud of yourself ❤️❤️❤️
You are so strong for this! It takes great effort to find the clothes you're comfortable, without fighting addiction at the same time. I'm proud of you!
I love a basic look of solid colours, t shirts, sweaters, skirts, pants, dresses- but then I add bits of antique accessories I’ve accumulated along the way. Which mostly came from living next to an antique store while I was growing up
I work in a school. Last year was incredibly stressful. Dressing creatively was my saving grace. It was something I had control in and allowed me to express my creativity for the day.
mina - long time subscriber. havent watched a video in about a year. glad to be back. this topic captivated me, as this is something ive seen in your evolution and thought about in myself a lot. when i moved to college, i was dressing up every day. i was coming from a conservative hometown as a gay kid and was ready to show the world the real me. these elaborate looks slowly started to change throughout my first year. something ive realized since was that when i was planning these elaborate outfits to simply wear to class, i was always thinking about myself a lot. it felt consuming, selfish, gross. and i still felt massively insecure even when people complimented me and my presentation of myself, my 'confidence'. its a strange thing - i had the 'confidence' to wear such things, and still felt horribly. i dont think confidence is necessary to having personal style. i have my own style, im not an outwardly confident individual. i think some people dress a certain way that is effortless. it is something you have or you dont, simply. when people who dress 'basic' would ask me for tips i find it interesting, because they already have their own personal style. just because something doesn't 'stand out' doesn't make it un-personal. right now, dressing up can make me feel physically sick. i wonder how my style will develop. i wear the same 5 outfits and swap things out to keep it fresh. i think we should all seek to condensing our wardrobe as much as possible. all this being said, when i see someone all dressed up, im like yes girl.... so who knows.
as you said, when it comes to personal style the biggest problem (in my opinion) is that people don’t know themselves and it doesn’t look like they want to either. I used to try to be more “out there” with my fashion choices as I move in a fashion/art environment, and i didn’t understand why i couldn’t make it work, i felt like i was wearing a clown costume. Since trying to dress more intuitively and knowing what colors suit me best, I feel the most confident version of myself and getting dressed is SO easy, even tho i’ve become pretty basic. I’ve realized what my priorities are when it comes to getting dressed up (instead of trying to look a certain way) and everything else has fallen behind. Such a great take on you part :)
I hardcore agree with CJ the X when they said, "Fashion is language, and you're babbling incoherently". You can have a personal style that communicates who you are as an individual while also signalling to others where you "fit" in society.
Your disection of "basic" and your personal style journey is fascinating. I am constantly reflecting on my clothes and how i want to feel in them; do i want comfort, confidence , utility, fun? It feels like magic and an extension of myself, ever since i was a teenager. But also im sure theres a little insecurity there of me needing a personal style to feel interesting and unique. Being a human is so funny. Love your videos as always!
19:10 We have got to start letting peoples' opinions change fluidly so we don't have to include all these PSA's. It's only fashion. Yes, it's a great expressive outlet, but if you can't paint, then you can always knit. It's perfectly safe to formulate radical or temporary opinions about fashion.
This is why I realised what made me so unhappy about my wardrobe, there was clothing in there that only worked with another specific item and specific shoes and the weather had to be just right. It got exhausting because you constantly try to wear your clothes but it just doesn’t go with anything else. I realised that having 3 or 4 dominating colours in your wardrobe makes it so much easier to match your pieces. Think about the colours you like to wear, colours that you seem to never be able to match with anything and make your conclusions from that. It is so much easier to match neutral colours, colours that compliment each other or similar colours rather than trying your hardest to choose something for a crazy coloured piece that also has a print on it (This is about how this revelation changed my mindset, if you love an array of colours then by all means)
I struggle with this for like ages 😭 I have many clothes but y’know what? None of them I feel like go together and usually I just wear the same stuff over and over to be honest 🥲 but I’d rather not wear the same stuff over and over I would like to create outfits together and being able to construct a cute piece together that makes me feel comfortable but also says “this is me” if that makes sense 🫣😅
@@InfiniteCookie3-jo2bbfr whenever I try to wear something different I always just end up wearing what I always wear 😂 I literally just give up on the spot and say ‘who cares even’! I have soo many clothing items that don’t match with other clothing items-
Totally! Once I started focusing on a specific palette + white/black, my closet has become more coherent and I can combine things much more easily! My colours are yellow-red-orange-pink/purple, and most of them go well together.
the way you spoke about having to prove to others that you were interesting through your outfits resinates so much with me. Years ago i would get up several hours early just to find a fit that i deemed cool enough, so that i could feel confident with myself. The way i dressed meant everything to me like the clothes were the real person I was just a mannequin...
I’M HERE AND I’M SAT! Personal style is so interesting. I believe I “found” mine when I started flipping my closet for autumn and winter. I concluded my style was inspired by the ladies of Living Single. I think with how much culture changes, what we infuse as we share culture, and fashion trends: we should remember that we bear the responsibility of personalizing instead of looking at references 24/7. Ok, watching the video now lol.
my relationship with personal style feels healthy. i take most of my inspiration from people i see in real life, and i'm very aware that nothing will ever be truly unique to me - i'm simply an amalgamation of influences that came before me. it feels like the only times we can create something genuinely new is when we invent new materials to work with.
i'm not a newyorker, not an american, i'm a 21 yo girl in the south of spain and still I think your experience and your journey is so relatable... i for one think personal style has to do with naturalness in a way. dressing ''well'' one day, maybe to boost your confidence bc you know the world will praise you, but the next day...just borrowing your mum's clothes, not wearing any makeup, i don't know. even wearing something someone gave you, just to show them you care about them... fashion can be so meaningful. but we are NOT cartoon caracters, we don't need to be consistent
I personally experienced a social environment where people were scared to wear something outside of the norm. Myself included. And a lot of these people that were scared, made fun of people that did wear something different. Wich made people scared and the circle continued. Now years later I can still visually see this phenomenon in that erea. For me personally, personal style, isn't about how boring, or how extra your clothes are, its about the freedom to choose what you wear for yourself, without being scared, and without making fun of others. And I would like to see more of that.
This is really interesting as it's so different to why I dress alternatively or interesting or "weird" clothing is a form of self expression and joy and is an extension of myself for me, it allows me to connect with others too and it can be a conversation starter I dress for younger me and for present me it reflects to people like me that I'm a safe person or that we possibly have things in common. I do drag too and fashion and style has a big part to play there too maybe one of the reasons we differ is I come from more of a costuming background rather than fashion
Like many, I started watching you for your style and, can't lie, I do miss seeing your outfits. However, the outfits were just icing and it's your actual content I enjoy the most. And if you're more comfortable with it then who can ask for more?
This is one of ur most relatable videos, I've been always pointed out as someone having a distinct style till college, now i am working and for a year i look back nd see it got different , I think you're more into being comfortable, less effort in trying to maxx on creativity or looking special and different, tbh being ordinary is not a bad thing , it has its own uniqueness
Loved hearing your thoughts in this video! It made me think of Andy’s arc in devil wears prada, “doesn’t care what people think” > new found confidence and different treatment based on status projected by her clothes > stylish writer confident in herself vibes at the end. I personally love fashion but often struggle with finding a balance between wearing high quality clothing I feel like represents my personal style and just practical stuff that I can wear to work and throw in the wash.
Being disabled, my personal style is extremely important. I've always had a unique sense of fashion, but when I'm sick, I can't wear most of my clothes because it's too much to handle or too uncomfortable to wear. But so many disabled people are dressed by others, for the convenience of others, mostly because accessibility in clothes is highly overlooked and most pieces are functionality first (or made for old people's taste) I wanna shine and feel free to be myself when I go around with my cane and talking about disability rights and accessibility and joy. I spend so much time in conflict with my body, with clothes making me feel less than when I'm at my lowest, but anytime I can, I want to feel good and look good, give something more to my body than just the chronic pain and worry. Showing that disabled people can be and feel beautiful, even if I spend most of my time alone in my flat. It's humanizing to be seen as worthy of adornments, I feel
I'm also disabled, and I feel this as well. I've often thought of it as like, "well, people are going to stare anyway--might as well give them something to stare at."
Thank you for sharing this. I have more invisible chronic illness stuff going on, but it's been a huge deal having enough energy to express myself through clothing again. I resonate with what you describe about considering convenience and comfort in clothing out of necessity sometimes. It can feel so energizing and humanizing and grounding to have the ability to put an outfit together with creativity and purpose. It physically feels like interacting with my intellect and the world in a meaningful way.
Your comment touches something deep within the experience of disabled people. I have been disabled for a decade, but it’s progressed to the point of obvious physical deformity - my posture has completely collapsed. I had given up on myself and was wearing old joggers in plain grey and black that didn’t even fit me properly, with old t-shirts a family member offered to give me before throwing them away. Then I bought a couple of fun patterned items of clothing on impulse one day. Trying them on, it ignited a new passion in me for fashion, one that lets me accept my physical differences (most of the time). In the past two years, I’ve built a beautiful wardrobe that is comfortable in my wheelchair but still sparks joy every time I look at it. Sometimes I can’t get dressed for a week… but when I do go out, I have this beautiful feeling of self expression. Now I don’t hate my body in the same way I used to; I can look forward to decorating it in colours, patterns, and textures that I find beautiful.
personal style is a big outlet for creative expression in my life because clothing was the first way i was able to establish my transfemininity. fashion helped me experienced a world aligned with my gender identity. i am passionate about style because i look at it with childlike curiousity and nostalgia for a time in my life where clothing could unburden me from dysphoria and enrich my imagination. today i look at fashion and glam always centering the anarchy of good dress. i broke all the rules when i put on a dress and my first pair of heels and it was the happiest i’ve ever been. there are no rules for fashion that i am bounded by save for the bliss of a look that’s true to me. fashion for me, then, is truly a release from the expectations of polite society. absolutely loveeee this video 🥹
Having a set template of what you wear makes it so much easier to get dressed every single day, even on days where I don’t leave the house, simply because it has become so routine. For me it’s leggings/tights, a midi-length skirt and a sweater (or a simple top in summer). I can mix and match so many of my items (thanks to my ‘personal style’ shining through in the colors/neutrals/patterns that I pick’), which still gives me the feeling of creative liberty and fun, but the outline of the outfit is always the same. It’s so much less stressful and indeed makes you feel more dignified and productive. Interesting to see it’s working for you too!
Amazing video! It resonated with me in so many aspects 💗 7:14 15:05 Lynn Jaeger 21:52 Marco De Vincenzo 23:01 Shakaila Forbes - Bell 24:12 Dan Schawbel 25:12 Rosie Finley 25:49 About personal style and individual pieces 28:45 🌟 29:10 Iris Apfel 🌟 30:25 "I just told you" iconic 34:26 🌟🌟🌟 37:15 "If I am worth anything later, I am worth something now. For wheat is wheat, even if people think it is grass in the beginning."
OMG what Iris Apfel says in regards to fashion is now being pushed to the body itself. "People feel secure if they look like other people". Now everyone is starting to look alike due to cosmetic procedures. Absolutely terrifying.
That’s so true and super scary to think about! Especially considering the kinds of ideologies that historically idealise everyone looking the same physically… Like it’s natural for people to want to fit in, we’re social beings. But what are we trying to fit in with?? Who’s deciding that? What are the consequences for those who can’t fit in?
I mean… what’s your definition of everyone? You mean fake influencers… who all live in LA? Or celebs… who mostly live in LA? Or what? Because I’ve never actually gone anywhere where plastic surgery is actually popular enough to see it reflected in the faces of people around me.
@@maverickbull1909 Yup, especially in my little corner of Europe that's a complete non issue. I rarely see women who got their lips done, maybe the occasional nose job but even that is just not a thing here.
28:20 I have broad shoulders too so I always shied away from puffed sleeves, convinced they’d make me look broader. But when I decided to give some puffed sleeved summer dresses a try last year I felt like they suited me so much! I felt they created such a pretty shape and created a graceful extension to my already broad shoulders. It was a pleasant surprise!
I think broad shoulders are very nice! They were also a body trend (lol) in the 1930s - many of the dresses tried to create an inverted triangle shape!
I agree with that quote of Iris Apfel that you can learn style, it’s inherent, you have to know yourself first. I’ve always had a very strong sense self and thus a strong sense of style. It’s evolved over the years into something more consistent and more fitting for my now 30yr old self but it is very distinct especially where I currently live. I’m a black woman, living in a predominantly white city. I stick out no matter where I am or what I am wearing. Out of fear of making prejudged based on the color of my skin, i like to believe that my style says a lot about who I am before someone even gets to have a predetermined view of me. Of course, I can never control what someone thinks of me but I like to think that I have that control with my clothes. My clothes are certainly a security blanket for me.
I have a unique/bold style for the sake of actual self expression, it helps me to be myself (because I can't hide who I am if I'm making it clear by my appearance who I am), meet cool people and ultimately it's just fun. At the end of the day, I'm far happier, and more accepting of who I am.
And when I say my style I mean I just wear the clothes I like and they happen to not be basic clothes... when I was wearing basic clothes it was out of fear
As always thank you for the video Mina. You’re one of the few people I can listen to “yap” on for more than 30 minutes. Always insightful and well researched. Your point about having the privilege to dress up or down because you live in New York really resonated with me. When I lived in New York I got away with dressing any way I wanted and was generally respected. Now, living in Mexico this is not the case. As black guy, if I dress too casually or “urban” I am treated quite a bit differently than if I wear my glasses and more preppy look. It’s always something I’ve just kept to myself so nice to hear someone speak about this topic.
It makes me super sad when someone I follow who’s eccentric outfits I enjoy either leaves the fashion or just stops being super into that style anymore and starts dressing “normal” even though I did the same exact thing!!! In 2020 I was newly single and started experimenting with my personal style, buying new clothes and doing really fun makeup all the time. Now that I’m in a relationship again and working a desk job I would love to spend time dressing up and doing my makeup but I just don’t have the time or the energy - and I also have other things that bring me joy. I think a lot of people went through that after covid restrictions were lifted.
Are we the same person lol. I used to be so into fashion before covid when I was in uni. Now I am a post grad, working every day is a lot. I don’t have time or energy to think about what part/style of fashion I like. I have gone back to reading and gaming to make me happy instead. What an odd turn of events, I thought I would spend the money from my first job on fashion but I don’t. Or maybe I am just having a post grad identity crisis.
@@seabreeze4559 I actually found my personal style in my current relationship and while working at home. I put together outfits because I get bored of sitting at home in pyjamas and I look for reasons to go outside, and it's usually very nice) and my now-husband often compliments me on my outfits and rates them in a humorous way 😂 "you are dressed as a lesbian librarian" is my all-time favourite review of his)
I respect this decision so much. It all comes with the age of maturing and being at peace with yourself. Personally for me, I'm still way too impatient, way too curious about the world, and way too passionate about expression and self identity. I still have many outrageous outfits in me, and many more to still discover. It will be a while until I'm satisfied. And as a uni student who usually sits at home, waiting for life to get interesting, it's the one joy I have most days. I actually look forward to a day when I'm fatigued by fashion and find a new source of comfort and self expression, but today is not that day.....
This video is so visceral and it's helping me to reflect on what i think personal style means for me as well! It's so awesome that you found a new level of confidence and you no longer feel the need to dress as extravagantly as before, but i don't think dressing "extra" necessarily means more work put into an outfit. I think once you have found your true personal style that means every outfit for you is easy and comes together naturally! Whether its "basic" or not, you feel comfortable and confident and that's when the real YOU shines through and you no longer feel the need to make a certain kind of impression on the people around you.
If I could double like this video, I would. I absolutely LOVED how you were able to poke holes in such an influential industry such as fashion while also admiring the work done by such high-stake and well known people within it. Fashion is truly what you take from it or don’t, but at the end of the day, the question is whether you are leading your own expression or someone/ something else is. Thank you, Mina! ❤
I loved your style. it's literally what made me stop and give your channel a listen. I will miss it, but none of us stay the same and this is what life is about.
i havent been following mina's content as much as i used to before, but im getting back into it, but i did notice the style change!! it feels weird to say that ive mostly known her in her "eccentric era", so im eager to hear what she says abt this recent change
I kind of have a similar experience around confidence and fashion. Ive always been shy and insecure, and I think dressing well and differently was a way to express myself and provide some confidence when I wasn’t able to do so through my personality. Now that I’m a little better socially I gravitate more to my comfier clothes. But on the other hand I also do have more confidence to occasionally wear something wild when I want to. Basically I am just getting less stressed about clothes generally and it’s a thing I hope will continue. Super interesting topic thank you Mina!!
The only thing we know for sure about the future for all of us is that we will change. And hopefully we all greet those changes with open arms and joy :-)
Good for you!!! I used to dress crazy and always wore full makeup. Now i love being simple/comfortable and wearing little or no makeup. My uniform is denim, boots, & a white top. I love it!
it’s not often that I click on one of your videos, Because I know I won’t listen if my head not in the right place, so i’m really glad to have been drawn to your video today. There’s a lot to learn from this, not just about fashion, but about life. thanks for sharing mina 🍁🧸
I really resonate with the idea that being happy and dressing in a way that doesn't stress you out can be better than being stylish or fashionable. Recently, my clothes don't fit my body anymore, and I had to donate basically my whole wardrobe of things that I loved and could no longer wear. I also felt like my style was changing and it would be a good opportunity to explore where I wanted to go next with my style. But with everything else in my life going on, it just became more of a weight than a fun thing. I decided to just buy duplicate colors of t shirts, tank tops, and pants I liked and were comfortable and stretchy to fit my changing body. It's been a relief and its nice to know I have a good base to build a new style and wardrobe from when I feel like it would actually be fun for me again. Thanks for the lovely video and thoughts to chew on!
About looking "ridiculous" in photos from back then, i've never thought that about the outfits i wore when i was younger, like, i always wear what i like to wear no matter if it's trendy or not (although, i do love certain trends and incorporate them time to time), and if i do think i looked ridiculous it's because i was wearing something i thought i was "suppossed to". But also, i still wear things from 10 years ago lol personal style it's just not buying things and wearing what you already own and love, and if you buy, it's to complement what you have, which also ties to body proportions and what you want your body to look like wearing clothes. If you got that down, you don't have to think in what your wear, what you have already it's an outfit
I’m kind of in the opposite boat forced to dress basic but wanting to dress eccentric but can admit putting an outfit together can be very overwhelming
Honestly I noticed the style change in the last video you posted. I didnt recognize you at first, but I wasn’t gonna mention it😂 Very interesting video!
Ran here from insta. Long time viewer, first time commenting! I feel like I have had an opposite trajectory to your style journey - I was always interested in fashion and design but was insecure and felt like it wasn’t ’for me’, so dressed specifically to blend in for a long time. I bet nobody else in my life has noticed but it is nice now to enjoy pieces that I’ve been drawn to and collected over the years and feel much more ‘me’. Love your videos and missing the podcast. X
Honestly, I'm glad you have your eyebrows now, they look great. You looked amazing before and you look amazing now. I think it's about feeling comfortable in whatever you're wearing.
This was a really awesome topic, and I enjoy your take on it! I have been on a personal style journey, and have struggled with the need for practicality in what I wear, and the desire to fight this urge to "stand out," as if by finding my personal style, it will prove I'm special. This was such a good take, and really provides a critique of personal style that is nuanced and well-researched. Thank you!
People are trying to find their personality in the style rather than find their style in their personality.
Beautiful sentiment, I agree with you and have experienced it myself.
I really like this. I always felt kind of lost trying to find my personal style over the years bc my style would change. But to your point, my personality has changed. There have always been certain elements that weaved themselves through, but functionality kind of always took over. That's fine, but what made it difficult for me emotionally was that sometimes I would find and wear something that made me feel completely cool and myself, but then people would be surprised I was wearing it. I wanted to be perceived as creative, but not shocking, but that's difficult if you don't have a super strong aesthetic. I also didn't have the means to create an entire closet of clothes that I actually WANTED to wear all the time. However, I think this is the very real experience of being a normal person
🆙
Similar to "its in you, not on you"
Can someone explain what this means? I don't understand it
People didn't dress punk, they WERE punk. People didn't dress old money, they WERE old money. Fashion has to be fit for purpose and needs to allign with your own lifestyle and so many people miss out that element.
Yeah! So true!
even beyond cultural purpose, I think a lot of folks caught up in the social-media-aesthetic-whirlwind also end up thinking less about just the functional purpose of clothes~!
fundamentally, they're supposed to protect your body while you're out doing the things you need to do. so many fashion items end up actually getting in the way of that (physically making you less comfortable or restricting your movement, making you feel like you're only able to do certain activities that you feel dressed for, etc).
imo, returning to clothes that are most utilitarian for your lifestyle is a great way to connect with what makes sense for you, personally
Honestly, I hear that. Fashion used to be more of a playground for me when I was a student and could really just go as dressed down or dressed up as I wanted each day. Since I graduated and am working, I find it’s more of a problem that I don’t have a huge selection of office-appropriate clothes, or just clothes that I can wear sitting at a desk all day and not cause discomfort (too tight, too warm, too cold, etc). I still love fashion, but I dress more for comfort now and my most cherished items are pieces that I can go to work in, can do a big grocery shop in, or can just be comfortable for my recreation activities. Anything else causes me more unhappiness just because of its inconvenience and dysfunction :(
Couldn't agree more. I'm fuckign cold all the time. I just want to wear a blanket and be done with it. Hence why I love capes.
@@CHLOEDEATHGOD Honestly love a good cape. Practical AND fashionable
"You can tell someone's screen time from their outfit" is DIABOLICAL🤣
Honestly, it should be the name of the video.
so true though
😂😂😂
im crying 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Ehh? This is only likely to be true if you're chronically online. My feed isn't fed frequently and isn't focused on fashion that I wear (i.e., I follow a few historical dress accounts).
Cutting back on social media changed my style SO MUCH. Staying off TikTok and finding inspiration in media has been a game changer
THIS!!
That's how I want to be❤ working on my social media addiction so I can go back to myself and my authenticity and rawness
what do u mean “finding inspiration in media”? (my english is not very good, i just got curious what media u mean)
@@swamp_faerie_i think they mean media as in movies, tv shows, magazines, etc., instead of social media platforms!
100% agree it hurts the most especially when you’re a teenage girl and you see your peers wearing trendy things it makes you feel like you’re not doing enough
I feel like people minimize what they’re saying by saying they are “yapping”. One is allowed to speak in depth about things. If people don’t wanna listen they don’t have to. Loved the video and rly relate
I personally love the word. It may sound depreciating but by god does it sound so silly. Like yes I am yapping and rambling and talking so much. However I will not stop because I have to say what I have to say
@@lanny007wow. I feel the total opposite. I cannot find the words to describe my dislike for that word and people’s use of it.
the word actually originates from the mid 1800's, and has zero negative connotation! it's simply just come back into modern syntax :3
recently i developed a hatred for my yapping after hearing a recording of myself going on rants that i think are ridiculous and stupid and i have felt ridiculous and stupid ever since my dear internet strangers!
@@RyanCrochets well if people keep using it as an insult it will develop negative connotations
it’s a meme that occasionally recirculates on twitter but jemima kirke writing “i think you guys might be thinking about yourselves too much” on an ig story genuinely has helped me with building a stronger personal identity 😭
it unironically has helped me to realize no strangers give much of a fuck about you or anything you do
and it took me until now to discover that it wasn't Fiona Apple in that image lol
Yess i love that image
my current favourite jemima kirke insta story for getting through life is ‘what the hell, sure’
@@roger1724STOPPP 😭😭😭
I'm dead serious when I tell you that I hardly noticed your style change? I've always perceived you as being a stylish person and you have a very distinct appearance that shines even if you have drawn brows or not 😂
Same
Also, the way i saw it, she never "overdressed" or "overaccessorized", it has always been very pretty and tasteful, yet simple
Like, "sure, she's wearing puffy sleeves, but it's all the same color, and built with less than 3 different fabrics" or "the fabric is quite simple, because the embroidery is the thing that should stand out", y'know what i'm saying
This. I never noticed her style change too much, because it is still distinctively her. I always just took it as subtle changes as one tend to do as they grow up and evolve or learn/feel comfortable about themselves.
Honestly authenticity is beautiful so I love that Mina is doing what feels authentic to her right now ❤❤❤
I did, and it made me sad to see her dress so boring all of a sudden.
I have to admit, I started watching your channel because of your initial fashion style. As a 2nd generation older(almost 60) Asian woman, I did not often get to see Asian women in eccentric, period influenced fashion, which is what I favor. As a child, I was discouraged from doing so by my immigrant mother, and ridiculed by her when I grew older and dressed as I pleased. The internet has allowed me to see young people, young Asian women, wearing all kinds of fashion. This has brought so much joy to the child within me. Thank you for being a part of that.
As a millennial Asian woman, your comment touched me so much. Thank you for sharing this to Mina and all of us. ❤
I will definitely say that immigrant families discourage their children from dressing in something that isn't 'basic'. I totally get your sentiment.
@jellyrolly im gonna sound a bit self centered for bringing the conco back to me, but as an asian woman not from an immigrant family background (adopted), i feel like even asians in my case, feel pressured to conform to not looking eccentric.
ive met maybe 2 young asian women my age who dressed alternative, but who were immigrants (parents or themselves), subconsciously telling myself that they were brave for it, in a way (bc on top of being seen as a foreigner, they dont mind being perceived as "weird")
but i guess, if that makes sense, there r also adoptees like me who dont rly explore having a "weird" sense of fashion, bc we get to look more like the other asians that r a bit more "normal", those who come from immigrant families who r seen as asian.. thats vaguely how i feel abt it?? the fact that me not having a weird style + not wanting to explore having one (out of laziness) is also convenient bc i get to "look" like the asians that r seemingly not disconnected from their heritage, so im not adding a layer of smth that makes me distinct on top of feeling neither too asian/too european (in my case)
i feel like rhis is a whole lot of me projecting a subconscious thought, but i feel like its smth thats not unlikely to happen to other asians in similar cases as mine
I’m a third gen asian american woman who also dresses as a form of expression/“eccentrically” and your comment touched me so much❤️ I’m so proud of you for expressing yourself this way in spite of your mom and society’s expectations/stereotypes. I’m sure it must’ve been hard in the time you were growing up. Thanks for your comment :)
So so sweet I love this💚🐣💜🧡💛
if “you can tell someone’s screentime by their outfit” then that just means you’re just as online as them 😭
Yeah but at least I’m not advertising it on my body lol
But that screen time haven't brainwashed you like them
@@bonnieinlove wdym advertising on my body??
@@chrissy138you doing the opposite of what this vid saying to.....the whole better and holier than thou mentality is counterproductive
Agre. more than that, you look down and judge those who basically do the same.
The best fashion advice “learn about everything else except fashion” is spot on and applicable to a lot of industries. Marketing coworkers told me something similar ie “if you want to work in marketing, don’t major in marketing.” When you learn outside of the area your trying to be in, you bring in a different perspective and you’re opinion in those other topics will def start influencing what you do, value and eventually wear.
this is definitely subjective, but a lot of people who are skilled at fashion often learn a lot about fashion. If I use myself as an example, I look through fashion through a historical lens and also research on WHY certain fashion senses come into trend at some point in time, and through that, I get to mishmash what I've learned and add my own spin to clothing in order to create what _I_ would like to wear and what items fit MY personality best without looking like I'm just blatantly copying a trend. People take inspiration all the time, it's just a matter of intention, and knowing how to put your own spin to an already existing idea.
I assume it's the same for marketing, you see what forms of marketing work, and you add your own spin in order to learn what stands out, it may be risky, but it'll definitely make your brand stand out more, which is what you want when you're marketing something, right?
34:38 "I don't need to prove everyday that I'm an interesting person." That pretty much sums up my attitude. I like to dress up. I like to dress up for the grocery store: I put together a banging outfit, maybe even makeup. But I work & study from home + I'm a hermit, so that's basically my one outing of the month. On the daily, I wear no makeup & live my life in sweatpants. & I'm a happy camper x
I'm the same, I love dressing up going out (the few times I go out in the month) and I enjoy planning my outfits depending on where I'm going. But I refuse to be ''made up'' at home - if I'm not allowed to be free from societal pressures inside my own home, where will I relax and rest?
Very much the same I love dressing up. Due to my job I spend a lot of time in athleisure . So when I go to the grocery store or out with my friends I love wearing a vintage dress that I get to wear maybe once a year.
Sadly I feel like a lot of people don't don't give you a chance because they view you as uninteresting person who doesn't have personality solely because you don't wear anything stylish. Even nowadays a lot of people in the goth and alt community don't give you a chance because again.. they think you are not real goth/alt if you don't wear the particular style of clothes that are specific for them. Bruh.. being goth/alt isn't only about the clothing style. It's about music,movies,values etc.. but I feel like in this generation those things are viewed as less important and again if you don't have the style you are automatically not a real goth/alt.
@chrissy138 You'll be a lot happier if you stop trying to cater to people you disagree with instead of dissing an entire generation based on the bad takes of a few.
You basically described my life haha
i think that personal style should be wearing what someone wants to wear - as someone who dresses goth, im not doing that to be "unique", its because i like how i feel when i wear it; being able to wear my favourite colours, chains, fun makeup - it makes me happy
personal style should just be a conglomerate of what makes you happy
for me, finding comfortable but fun clothes has been the best balance - my favourite clothes are not comfortable or practical and that's unfortunately not viable for daily living - which is another thing that people forget is practicality !!
Exactly, Victorian goth here, and i wear my outfits absolutely everywhere! And i don't do it for people or to stand out but for myself, if people like it cool, if people don't like it cool. I don't care and never will in my very honest opinion lmao. My outfits look extremely uncomfortable to wear, but to me they're really comfortable, the only time i ever feel uncomfortable wearing smth is when i wear normal outfits. And I sometimes get asked silly questions like "aren't your boots too heavy?" and i just reply with "no im used to it atp lol" or i got once "aren't you wearing alot of accessories?" and im just like well🤷♀😭😭. But all of that to say that im happy with the way i dress and it should be the same for everyone. People in general should do things to please themselves not others!!
I sometimes feel weird for being a goth who doesn't like makeup on myself, but the subculture has weirdly helped me evade the issues with chasing tiktok micro trends. I did have a time where I dressed more "basic" and it was fine, but there's just a difference with wearing a black skirt and a chain belt
I my typical outfit is choosing a fun patterned skirt, a top that is in the same color palette or otherwise matches the skirt, and then some big “tacky” statement earrings and….. this is comfortable for me! My skirts are a comfy fabric with pockets and an elastic band
My sister recently had a trip for her bachelorette and asked me not to ‘dress like Miss Frizzle this weekend’ it was her trip so I understand her wanting me to try to fit into the group and dress more lowkey and I complied on her behalf
But honestly *that* made me feel uncomfortable, the sundress I brought (because she said I’d need a ‘casual dressy’ outfit) specifically because it looked extremely simple to me and I thought it would fit in with her sorority friends *still* stood out because it had a (very subtle imo) pattern and other people wore all black or a one color top and a jean skirts
I tried specifically to not be eye catching but even when I tried to be plain I wasn’t plain *enough*
I didn’t feel like myself at all, I tried to pick things I thought she’d approve of but even then I felt like I only did a ‘passable’ job
I’d feel leagues more comfortable with my Miss Frizzle skirts
(for added context when I say ‘fun patterned skirts’ I mean like jellyfish or a multicolored germs or a desert landscape, they are genuinely Miss Frizzle-esque, lol and I take that as a compliment vs the ‘pattern’ on the sundress, think like Old Navy because I think that’s literally where I got it (so for me *very* understated!) It was even like a muted color palette like olive and navy but that was still the most ‘eye-catching’ thing there)
I think being truly "basic" (in a negative sense) is wearing what everybody else does just for the sake of fitting in. You can wear popular and easily available clothes and still unique in them as long as you love them and feel comfortable in them. And a lot of the time you can tell somebody feels more comfortable and confident compared to someone who just dresses up, even if their 'costume' is tee and jeans.
I mean, as someone who loves looking basic af. I don't even think the "uniqueness" matters. Personally, as long as I'm wearing something I think looks cute and comfortable. I literally do not care about going further than that or personalising my style more. It's not about fitting in for me, but my personal taste is genuinely just basic af.
When I was like 13 I loved dressing alternative (i wanted people to fear me). There was this girl that hated me (warranted), and once I saw her out of school with her entire friend group. 4 girls, all dressed EXACTLY the same. Same dress with the same cut and color and very similar prints and same tiny shoulder bag, even same hairdo. To this day, I have NEVER felt so repelled by a fashion choice in my life. Like, dress in basics all you want, but at least don't be so uniform, y'know?
@@LunaWitcherArt
What's wrong w ppl enjoying matching their outfits w their friends? Who cares if it's uniform. If they enjoy matching that's fine. It's fine if you don't like it. But there's nothing wrong w the way those girls were dressing, they were just little girls matching their outfits.
@@Loool_7656 theres obviously nothing "wrong" with it, but it's boring and kinda sad. You don't have to be a maximalist to have cute clothes and even when it's basic, it can still have a personalized touch. But dressing EXACTLY like other ppl? It's lame and shows a fear of standing out even a little.
@@MsJoana111
If it's in a friendgroup and you're supposed to be matching it can be fun. Which is probably what it was. It's not sad or boring ur just looking to deeply into it, or perhaps it's something you don't like. Which again, is fine. But again, it's not a big deal and it doesn't necessarily reflect on some sort of lack in personal identity in the girls.
i don’t dress for attention or to be unique. in fact, i hate drawing attention to myself and i hate that many of my outfits to tend to make people stare a bit. i dress the way i do because it feels like me, it’s an expression of myself. it’s also a way for me to be creative. dressing up gives me confidence and makes me feel like i’m being authentic to who i am, i don’t feel comfortable in basic clothes. they make me feel like i’m wearing a costume and trying to be someone i’m not. there’s nothing wrong with basic fashion, and i do dress basic sometimes for practicality reasons, but not everyone dresses eccentrically because they’re looking for validation
It's so annoying when people assume fashion is just for attention or status.
A. The weirdest clothing could not contain the alienation I feel in every day life
B. If I dressed like a total normie, I would still stand out, but in a much worse way.
I relate so much. The need for self expression outweighs the discomfort of being noticed.
I used to hate people looking at me too. You’re dressed differently, of course people are going to look at you. lol. I have had people tell me “i wish i could dye my hair” so many people are appreciating your look. Dressing differently than most people will get you many compliments for trying something different. try to change your mindset on it.
Yep dressing basic makes me feel I'm killing a part of me
@@aalmondmilk i mean compliments are fine, i still don’t enjoy the attention though. my outfits aren’t even that outrageous, but i tend to stick out because i live in a rural area where everyone wears leggings and t shirts everyday. anyone who dresses up even a little bit sticks out like a sore thumb here
I really appreciate this. I hate the concept of looking "basic" because often it is just clothing that is conformtable & affordable, while Statement fashion pieces are hard to find thrifted or just wildly expensive in stores. I feel similarly to the idea of "looking straight" or "looking queer." You are queer, whether you have a mullet or a septum piercing or tattoos or none of the above. People who categorize others superficially on their personal style and deem others "not real" because they're too "basic" are not people I want to be around.
you're absolutely just as queer whether you look queer or not, but different types of flagging are valuable in the queer community for a lot of people. i don't have a mullet or a septum piercing or tattoos but i definitely want to read as queer to other queer people and not just because i'm trying to date. of course you can talk to people to let them know various things about you, including your personality and queerness, but you can get a head start with your style and i'm not really sure there's such thing as a neutral "basic" style in the queer community? i don't identify with any labels for my presentation but it's all a choice, a degree of femininity/masculinity/androgyny, a degree of edginess or not, that's going to affect others' perception.
@@ArtichokeHunter People find their people, however you dress. I'm not queer but I'm neurodivergent and many people are both. I'm not fashionable or trendy. I don't dress to stand out but I don't follow the current styles either. I'm low-key weird. But weird recognises weird and I have lots of beautiful peacock friends with rainbow hair or cosplay outfits because I'm loudly intolerant of bigotry. People just click even if they're not out or not diagnosed because it feels like coming home when people just get you.
66 years old. Dress to satisfy me. Yes, denim on denim, braided hair, leather boots....took a long time to be comfortable to be me. I feel more beautiful now than I ever did. Wrinkles, gray hair, chubby...really me. So happy.
Congratulations 💛 inspiring
That’s such a badass and unique look but also so practical. Love it! You sound like a joy to know
About this time last year, I decided to find my "personal style", as most of my life I've worn the uniform or dress code of my job. I don't know if I found a style or not, but decided I love super long skirts, and that's what I wear now. I learnt to sew to be able to make clothes I like. And the best part of that is POCKETS! Pockets on everything, real pockets where I can fit my keys, cellphone, wallet, sunglasses, tissues, you name it.
I’m a gen z and I firmly believe denim on denim is cool as hell, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise
You sound super stylish, I love a good Canadian tuxedo!!
At 13:45 you said the realest thing I've ever heard
"I personally think it's rooted in the fact that many of us are unhappy with our own generation. We don't want to be like everybody else because everyone else is lonely, umbilically tied to their phones, doesn't know how to read, needs therapy, and is addicted to online shopping. But I think we're afraid to admit that many of us are actually somewhat similar to everyone else, dealing with at least some of the same pathetic problems."
Mic drop right there. You got us.
Personally I don't relate to that at all, I have no problem admitting I have problems, I like relating to people and my distaste towards a lot of people wearing similar things is more that they don't stimulate my brain (which is fine), usually people don't wear the flatterng silhouettes (which is fine too) and choose cheap fabric with cheap prints, waistbands instead of belts (which is also okay especially on tight budget, it's just that I don't vibe with it). The last thing is that it feels inauthentic to me (depends on the outfit and person) like someone just saw the trend and mimicked it or that they are easily impressed or don't have opinions about clothes. I generalised a lot because the popular skirt cut and top cut together don't make me automatically apathetic.
I'd argue people have always been in dire need of therapy though LOL
I actually find the therapy dig kinda.. interesting- she put it as a negative thing??
@@potatorcat yea kind it icky you don't even need to be mentally ill to go to a therapist just as a mental check up is good like your doctor's visit weird she said it srsly....alot of people need therapy doesn't make them bad
@@natasha5553it doesn't make people bad (and she said nothing contrary btw), but it IS bad, that most people need therapy.
It shows the status of the world - of the sick systems and relationships we created over the last 2000 years.
The funny thing is, I feel the exact opposite about having a low-effort wardrobe. Wearing a simple pair of jeans and a t-shirt caused me a lot MORE stressed about how I look, and it made me miserable. No matter what, I always felt ugly (even though I looked the same as everyone else).
A few months ago I found the most obnoxiously colorful LSD-looking sweater (with shoulder pads) and I couldn't let it go. Did I look pretty? I don't know, but having that in my wardrobe made me SO happy. I'm not saying my fashion style is unique✨ because it isn't (a lot of it is comfy, colorful, cozy and frilly), but it gives me comfort in the way a lot of neutral fashion doesn't. I feel a little more like myself when I wear these clothes. I always look like I put effort in, even if I just grabbed the first two things I saw. I have pieces that are special and meaningful to me (like my LSD-looking sweater).
I really want to push my style further and get more unique and fun clothes. It makes me feel more colorful and alive and happy.
OMG YES! I feel empty if I wear boring clothes.
I feel the same - I recently had to wear an old t-shirt for the first time in years and while it was comfortable, I felt like absolute death precisely because I had no control over it.
Yeah i do feel self conscious abt wearing a tshirt jeans n hoodie. Though i still will i like having the energy to put together outfits and it boosts my mood.
This! When I dress as basic as possible i just hate looking at myself i need to be look vampyre like all the time lmao to feel like myself i just hate feeling human lmao
Yeah! I feel like I’m cosplaying as a “normal” person. Whenever I tried to blend in by wearing basic clothes I felt like a complete stranger to myself!
Throughout the video I kept wondering if at some point I would also grow tired of dressing more uniquely... but towards the end you said something that made me realise we started dressing "weirdly" for entirely different reasons. I finally embraced myself being weird, when I would continuously not be accepted, no matter how hard I tried.
And the _moment_ I stopped trying to be liked and accepted... I suddenly made new friends. People who were kind, and genuine, and liked me for who I was. Ever since then, whenever I make "weird" outfits, I know that others might find it weird, but I do it purely because it makes ME happy :) And that's the only thing that matters. 💚
Exactly
My outfits feel like a "hey! like minded people come talk to me!" sign hahah and I love it.
Minimalism can be freeing but it can also get so boring which leads you to go back to maximalism, rinse and repeat. The cycle continues.
then just find balance ????
tbh i think the best way to have individual style outside of trends is just to have an actual personality. If you know what you like and don’t like you won’t be influenced. This includes what is practical for your day to day life. Easier said than done.
Yeah even if your clothing looks a lot like other people's, you're still happy with it because it's genuine. The satisfaction is sourced internally.
This! I've been dressing the same way since I was a teen. I'm 26 now and I don't like most of the clothes that are trending right now. I like bold colors and patterns and I buy things that resonate with that. But these clothes don't grab people's attention, I'm the one commanding the attention because I have a personality that's much bolder and colorful than my outfits
Yes. Personality , as well as values. For example, if you value modesty and chasteness, then it doesn't make sense to try to dress the opposite.
100% I used to feel bad when shopping with friends because it's always been very difficult for me to find something I truly like, so I was always embarrassed to waste everyone's time. Lately, I've just come to terms with the fact that this happens because I know myself so profoundly that even if I find something pretty, I know it doesn't match with what I am/like/dream of.
I hate my narc mom who is obsessed with following trends bc she believes she has to be in the loop at all times. I am extremely opposed to buying useless jewelry, bags, clothes, shoes just because “it’s what everyone is wearing”.🙄 I DON’T CARE ABKUT WHAT OTHERS ARE WEARING! ffs why *should* I care?
It’s like she’s training me to *care* so deeply about things that don’t matter to me at all…
I’m so sick of living with her it’s so dmging to my mental health. The worst part is, she will go out of her way to buy things for me when I never asked for it. She will buy me clothes, jackets, shoes, and force me to try them on. I hate my relationship ship with her. I honestly don’t have space to breathe from her constant smothering. I don’t have room to be myself because she doesn’t allow it, she doesn’t approve it. God help us all…
as a former ostentatiously styled teen to now pretty basic looking adult, this definitely resonated. i used fashion as a way to be interesting/worthy of attention but now that i've settled into my skin, i don't feel the need to chase trends in search of my next "look"/to prove i'm ahead of the curve. it's nice to just be and enjoy whatever beauty happens across my path.
Agreed as a millennial mom! Fairly basic style now, I just try and buy sustainable clothing.
I’m just in my early 20s, I went from trying these things to stand out to “oh that seems like it would be cute”. I wear mainly thrifted clothes with few new pieces added. I don’t care if I get compliments, I wear what I feel like wearing that day. I wear my mom’s old clothes and I appreciate compliments and all but I don’t need them anymore. Just last week I wore a pink sweater that was my moms in like the 90s, a brown pleated skirt, knee high boots my mom bought for me and leg warmers to add some break in the browns of my skirt and pantyhose to the black of my boots. I felt genuinely confident in how I was dressed and got more compliments than I ever have on an outfit and alternatively I wore a t shirt, jeans and a little velour hoodie and got cat called by a total creep the day before. Most of the time I’m in leggings and a comfortable shirt or sweater but I’m not trying to express myself or stand out. I just see things and I think they could be cute and go for it. I’m dressing how little 7 year old me wanted for me in my teens that I was too scared to do. Do I sometimes look “basic” yeah and? Do I usually try to wear things I like even if they’re in a basic look also yeah. I struggled so much with external validation that now, I just wear something I think would be cute and comfortable from the style I know I’ve always wanted deep down.
Even my makeup, people at my high school were homophobic, so much so that I was called names because of how I dressed and acted when I’m not part of the lgbtq community. I never wore makeup as a rebellion and now I’ve discovered red eyeliner. I do dark red lips, eyeliner, glitter and white on my water line with red on my lash line. No one told me to do it, I just feel good like this. It’s fun and not everyone likes it and why should I care?
My Japanese language teacher told me about 部屋着 (heyagi) which just means room clothes and its like the clothes that aren't pajamas but clothes you don't wear outside because they'll get gross so they're clothes specifically meant for when you're awake doing things around your house and I've never been the same since discovering it. I feel like I need to change into different clothes to get into the mindset to be awake especially when it gets dark at like 4 now.
We Indonesians have this concept too! It’s called “baju rumah” (house clothes) and we wear them around the house in daytime.
Filipinos call this "pambahay" literally meaning "for the house"
ah, so like the hoodie i wear at home so i can eat pizza and be slobby and not have to care about getting stains all over
Ropa de entrecasa we say in my family. Yeah, my life improve A LOT since I started changing my pajamas, insane how something so small can impact your life.
I'm surprised to know that not everyone had this concept! In Brazil we also have this, I think I actually have more "stay at home clothes" than outside clothes lol
6:17 As someone who wore a school uniform my entire school life, that part about liking wearing uniforms more because you don’t have to worry about what to wear each day is so true, I can’t imagine the stress and meltdowns I would have had if I had to pick an outfit out of my wardrobe every day that I went to school for 13 years. On top of that, putting on my school uniform put my brain into school time mode when I could focus better and was in the right mindset to be at school.
I think people talking down on those who dress basic is an outcome of those dress basic talking down on those who like to be stylish. There’s always a battle.
This is so insightful, actually. 👌🏾
i went to an ✨art high school✨with no uniform, and i’ll never forget when we did a debate in one of my classes over whether or not we should have a uniform. when one student argued that we can’t express ourselves with a uniform, my teacher responded “why don’t you find a less superficial way of expressing yourself” 😂 i don’t think fashion is always superficial, but i think so about that moment anytime im stressing too much over my personal style or what to wear
maybe it’s something about the idea that to be an individual you HAVE to have a distinct style
I remember having that same debate in high school, and of course that same argument was giving, and i just think it's weak. You can have individuality despite a school uniform. The way you style your hair, pair the pieces of the set (it was an all girls school at that time, and the options proposed varied, there were skirts of any length, diffrenet types of shirts, pants and shorts), what schoolbag you use and how you carry it, and we're not even talking about anyone's personality... like wearing the same uniform does not suddenly make everyone the exact same.
But my school was a private school and many a girl was from a rich family and was going shopping every week or so while some of us weren't that rich at all, so i just think these girls didn't want to look like the poors lol
I really would have liked a uniform though, i always struggled getting up and ready in the morning so not having to think about what to wear would have been great for me
I went to school in the uk where every school had a uniform. I can’t imagine not having a uniform, the charity “non-uniform days” were so stressful with kids’ judgement, I can’t imagine doing that every day!
It’s supposed to be an equaliser - no brands allowed, no decoration or ornament showing value of the clothes.
I understand the suggestion for a uniform especially when it comes to wealth disparity but I would find it a little ironic to go to an art school to see that everyone wears the same outfit.
I think its a bit pretentious to look at ones care for expressing themselves through clothing as " superficial " seeing how when we look back at history and the simple length of a womans skirt could be a form of rebellion and a political statement.
Fashion can be way less vain than we give it credit for.
As a plus-sized individual all my life, I've never had many eccentric/alternative fashion options to get saturated by. So I take my intensily-procured goth pieces and wear them as a trophy - I, too, can dress HOWEVER I want. I WILL express myself even though the industry doesn't want me to.
I feel like because of this Im kind on the opposite journey to Mina. Growing up fat buying clothes was always so stressful and sad. Ive dressed for comfort and neutrality all my life, now as an adult I want to try more "eccentric" stuff.
SAME HERE!
@@blu- I relate to this too! I was afraid to be shamed when I want to wear cute stuffs like lolita fashion because I'm fat and brown skinned. Now when I'm older and don't care about what others think, I started to wear what I want to wear, and it made my life happier!
0:11 Mina really grasped us like that, holding space for anyone who felt some kinda way about that
Grasp us gently, Mina!
😂❤
thank you for sharing! respectfully disagree. nothing gives me more energy and brings me more joy than putting on something interesting and bright in "my style" every morning. nothing cheers me up on a cold grey morning in the city than seeing, among people in the same long puffy jackets of grey-black-brown, another fashionista... also smiling at me
I am also a big fan of colorful winter clothes! Right now everything is black or gray, so I will wear my bright yellow and light blue jacket to bring the color in!
Same ❤❤❤❤
I think it's also obligation vs choice.
I also love experimenting daily going to work and dopamine dressing. However some days I just don't feel like doing anything, I throw on some pants and a top as I drag myself to work. It's my choice, I don't feel like I owe a standard to others. It's an hobby of sorts.
But living in a city where you see experimental people daily, having to film videos which you talk about fashion and having a clear visual brand... I can see how it can be exhausting and feeling like a costume after a while, like a burnout. It becomes an obligation, work. I understand how she feels and it's a good idea to rest that part so she can focus on other things that bring her joy.
your editing in this video is INSANE, the doll outfits, the backgrounds !!!! this is the first video i’ve connected to in a while because style has become harder with dealing with depression. i was known for being the crazy colorful outfits girl and i’ve lost it a bit
In the sewing world we are loving the younger millennials and gen X, 2020 lockdown all these amazing creative kids across the planet dug out grandma's old sewing machine and found the bag of 1970s clothing next to it and went wild with it. We've seen the same shift where they've calmed down a bit with the interesting design elements but have massively embraced upcycling. Don't believe what they say, The Kids Today are awesome.
Aw this is the most heartwarming comment I've ever read, I'm one of those kids, I love the 70s and up-cycling clothes and really anything creative and I'm very passionate about everything I do. This is so nice to read when so many articles only talk badly about us younger generations and so many employers won't hire us without 5 years of experience+ making it really difficult to get a job and countless rejections. This has genuinely made my day, I wish you all the best ❤️
SOME kids today are awesome. Just like in every generation
it’s taken me years to feel comfortable in my style and learning how to sew has been a huge part of that. happy to join the sewing crew here on youtube ❤
Thank youuu! I'm going to be joining the ranks of home garment constructors soon!! I got a sewing machine for my birthday, and going to my local sewing hub to learn how to use it soon
@@Gr95dc There is no such thing as a bad kid, it's adults putting kids into situations they can't handle and then being shocked and judgemental when they act out over it that's the problem. You want to be 12 and go through the peer pressure of social media, because I don't. At 12 I was riding my bike to my friends house because her brother had a Playstation (1) and not a single photograph was taken that day.
I lost my style and found it again after having stayed off social media for a year. I started to recall my old inspirations and personal preferences once I was no longer constantly influenced by what I see on instagram.
Me too! I realized what I really wanted to look like formed in my adolescence (pre-social media) and life circumstance kept me from dressing or looking how I always wanted. Now in my near 30s, I'm starting to rediscover my own personal taste/style that I've always had but never allowed to thrive.
I had the same situation. I stopped following a lot of fashion influencers because their ideas are completely different from what I am comfortable wearing. Especially during this all quiet luxury or old money trend. I feel like I am a 10 y.o kid who is playing around with her mom's clothes. Not to mention the over consumption because of the sense of FOMO to get everything that they considered must-haves so we can look as good as them.
@@TheSkeletonJr Yes, exactly the same for me!
@@artesiarastania5998 Oh that is such a great point about the fomo. I also shop waaayyy less now, less impulse buying both online and in store, and overall just less purchases period.
How I want to be❤
For me personally, fashion is just a way to bring my personality to people. I'm autistic, so it's often really hard to show others who I am. I also adapt my outfits depending on my mood and vibe. It's really just about conveying my values, but I find it interesting that others use their clothes as external validation.
i feel this! i went to a school with uniforms, too, so i naturally compared myself and how i looked in the uniform to other students back in my school days. somehow, there were tiny, minuscule differences in the way we wore the same clothes, and i would be constantly chasing the smallest ways to make myself "fit in," whether that be wearing a certain color shoes, wearing a certain style of sweater, etc. don't even get me started in how i stressed over the outfits i wore on days we could wear regular clothes instead.
by the time i graduated high school and realized i was autistic, i wasn't dressing to fit in nearly as much, and i started picking out clothing pieces that *i liked* and was reflective of *my* personality. i dress for the occasion, and while sometimes that's quirky statement pieces or vintage styles, whenever i'm not going somewhere it's almost always comfy shorts and a graphic tee.
@user-kw7mr6xt9n same!! I love to dress up when I want to and sometimes, I'll run around like I just woke up. Honestly, I think the clothes you wear are just there to make you feel more comfortable in your own skin: whether that's expression or comfort or sth completely different for you.
I feel the exact same way. Some days I choose to dress down because I'm getting sensory overload, though.
I feel the same way about my fashion choices as you do. I'm also autistic. I never participated in clothing trends or dressed to fit in/to look like someone else though of course I did and do dress in ways that look like other people, just not purposely. I do not seek to gain external validation or stand out/fit in but I dress to feel comfortable in the moment - sometimes that means corset, puffy skirts, accessories and complicated makeup and sometimes that means a band shirt and jeans. I just wanna feel good in what I wear and that's it.
i am also autistic and i never felt the need to fit in with my clothes! but i only got the most comfortable exploring my personal style when i entered art school. it was really nice and now, 3 years later, i’m really happy by the way i present myself. i think it really reflects myself and what i like.
i have a question for you tho! do you get annoyed when something you like and it was deemed weird, gets trendy? like i’ve been hanging toys in my bags and purses since a long time, but now it’s a trend and tbh its i feel a bit weird about it. i guess seeing something that i worked so hard to embrace and not ashamed of (and thinking about all the bullying that i got in my life) it really gets me frustrated that now everyone can do it so easily :/ what do you guys think?
admittedly, i did really love how ostentatious your style was in a time where things like fashion were getting super conservative and boring, but you still shine through in your analysis and that hasn't changed
on personal style, ive swung between being super fashion forward and then comfort based and as ive become more confident in myself as a person im coming to have a nice blend of both
my outfits have never really been a representation of me as a whole though, i dress boring and think im boring but my colleagues and friends continously remind me of how interesting my life/hobbies/thinking is so idk what to make of it lol
Thank you Mina Le for your honesty and trust in us viewers :-) I applaud rethinking yourself, being creative and accumulating pieces you lived through. Im 34 yrs old and buying trends from times I was a child or teen and couldn't afford, like my dream shoes or bags etc. And combining them with new trend pieces 👾
you hair has gotten so long! it’s cool that i’ve been here since the rating disney princess dresses vid (WHICH IS 4 YEARS AGO HELLO??)
you're a real one omg
same!!
Wow same here! :)
Same here, I remember being in awe she had so few videos but was so impressive and professional and cool!
Hihi same here
oh i love giving myself a cartoon closet for every day, it definitely helps with decision-fatigue and over-stimulation. i buy several of the same items so i can wear the same thing for a week or two before doing laundry, and i save creative outfits for when i’m doing something special 🤷🏻♀️
Yes to this!
As someone with Adhd, this is so real. I have so many styles that I would love to dress in. But Adhd makes decision making and timekeeping so much harder. Most mornings I don't have time to put lotion on my body, nevertheless decide which accessories go with which outfit. So for me, it's joggers and a T-shirt on a regular basis.
im so happy to have witnessed your personal style evolution :)) can't wait to see what the future mina has in store!!
Hooray for self awareness!! There's so much enlightenment in this video. I've watched your videos on and off over the years and I feel like this one really resonates in a peaceful way of finding self 💌 congrats on your journey
35:28 really resonated with me. During my time at university, I went from a design field to a business field and felt alot less pressured to prove myself as a creative individual. in my experience design spaces come with a pressure to always showcase creativity and individuality, almost like you must wear your uniqueness as part of your identity
I’ll be sewing my own clothes soon bc I get disappointed every time I go to the mall. It’s cool to see you talk about your evolution of style
That’s so exciting! I’ve been sewing my own clothes for about a year and it’s really honed my personal style and made me so much happier. Good luck! Sewing is so much easier than it’s made out to be.
@ yea I actually used to sew in quarantine but stopped. I’m finally getting back into it I know most of the basic stuff. Thanks for sharing though it’s cool to meet other seamstress.
literally got a sewing machine this yesr bc i was tired of what i saw online and what options i had, decided if i can't find what i want I guess i have to make it myself!
@@HikariHolic yesss that’s exactly how I was feeling!!!!
@@Vega921 WHAT? I think sewing has an extremely steep learning curve. At least when it comes to making well fitting clothes, which is what I struggle with most. I don't want to wear anything that looks worse than fast fashion but better and it'll take me so much time, effort and costly fabric to get there. I'm in awe of everyone who has mastered this skill!
I think about personal style in a very simple way.
Do you like the item?
Do you feel good when wearing it?
That's personal style.
Personal style is not about being unique or basic. If it's trendy or not. If it looks good or not.
It's about being authentic and to dress to satify yourself.
I've dressed kind of eccentric ever since I was a kid. Always been a weird, creative, extraverted girl (Combined ADHD). Never dressed for anyone, but myself. Have been insecure about it a lot. But the need to be myself is big. So I just wear whatever I want :)))
This! My country is pretty restrictive when it comes to what's "acceptable" so the minutes I live for myself, I'll be seen as "weird". The thing is I've never done these things to be seen as "quirky". It's a natural thing and it's unfortunate that our culture is too restrictive. But I'm not gonna overhaul my entire closet just because someone said I looked ugly because I'm the most comfortable dressed as myself instead of trying to shove myself into a certaint aesthetic for the sake of conformity. And as someone who's also neurodivergent, I stand by the idea that wearing whatever you want is the goal be it it happens to look more "basic" or "quirky" as long as it makes you happy.
Yes! This is "personal style" in my opinion. It's your uncle who always wears cargo shorts and a metal bandshirt with a cap for as long as you can remember. And it's also your grandma dressing in midiskirts and a cashmere sweater. They found "their look".
When I was a teen I had this deep-emerald green blouse of an unusual cut, I have no idea where it came from. My mom told me she used to have a similar one when she was young. It was flowy and had these flowy sleewes, and I liked the colour and the look so much, I wore it as long as it fit me.
I probably wouldn't wear such a piece now, but back then it was my favourite. It's the garment I remember the most from my childhood.
I'M SO GLAD YOU MADE THIS because I honestly feel so pressured to have a personal style by people around me and the internet but I just want to wear clothes and go out without looking like everyone else or feeling unaccomplished
Do you mind explaining more why it bothers you? I’m curious because I often don’t like it either. For me I think it’s the idea of representing myself to others? Some people treat fashion as communication, which is valid, but it just confuses me. If I think of trying to say or represent or express something with my clothes it becomes like a costume. Even when I’m trying to represent or express myself! To me it ends up feeling like acting and dressing up as myself instead of just existing as myself while wearing some clothes I like. If that difference makes sense?
@@EmL-kg5gn because at the it end of the day, they´re just clothes. it doesn´t have to be more than it is
@@EmL-kg5gnthis is an interesting comment. I’m on the opposite spectrum, I like that clothes allow you to mask who you are, I like that I get to construct another version that I want the world to see. That imbues meaning into how I dress because I want it represent something about me. And an outward thought out construction of who you are can absolutely be like acting as you said. From my perspective, I want to act and from yours, perhaps you don’t.
It doesn’t have to have any meaning, they’re just clothes not who you or I actually am.
YES! My outfits vary on what I how feel, but one thing that never changes is the fact that I’m confident, beautiful, and HAPPY! It leaks over and no matter what my clothes are I look fab 🤷🏻♀️
Reducing my time on social media has helped a lot. When you can’t compare yourself to others on social media, you compare yourself less to others in general. You open the space occupied by attempting to fit in and fill it with discovering what you like and enjoy.
Lynn Yaeger put it beautifully when asked about her closet of archival fashion “ these are my clothes,..,These are my clothes” which is how I feel compliments are nice and all but my clothes are for me to feel like myself in, they’re just my clothes
Interestingly, I'm going through the opposite. I grew up in a poor area in Brazil, where we wore uniforms to school to avoid prejudice (since most of us didn't have the money for going out clothes) and, since there's a lot of sexism and a lot of racism, there's a sort of homogenous look that's expected of you when you grow up. Now that I moved out of Brazil and I find myself in a city where nobody cares what you dress like, I have the freedom to choose whatever. I grew up so used to wearing basic clothes because that's what's expected and now I starve for finding my style, wearing crazy outfits, crazy hair colors. So interesting to see the opposite happening to you!
I toned down my style this year for comfort but recently I put back an over the top outfit that I used to wear last year and it felt so good and so me!! Fashion is different for everyone
What styles are you into?
I’ve also toned down my style this year for comfort (because getting up super early in the morning and spending like an hour getting ready just didn’t feel good to me💀 also I became tired of being occasionally harrassed by people at my school and I’ve had nobody really bother me all year since I’ve started dressing “basic” which is nice
I still like my outfits and I’ll dress up for special occasions like outtings with my friends. I do notice that people do infact seem to overlook you if you’re not dressed up because the way that I am treated when I have an outfit put together with makeup on as well- vs when I’m dressed casually, it’s night and day. I consider myself alternative💀 I like goth music and I’m pretty strong in my leftist beliefs, I feel like a problem today with fast fashion and what not is that I can’t automatically trust other people dressed alternatively because it seems a lot of them don’t really embody the political or moral beliefs of the subculture they’re imitating.
Life is too short to worry about what future you might think of your photos. The photos will bring back memories. Wear what makes you happy, if you can, if that is simple or unique, more power to you 😀
I really love this! As a costume/fashion designer myself, people are often surprised because I dress quite “normal” in my every day life. I always felt like I didn’t fit in with other designers or the industry as a whole because I don’t dress myself in a particularly ‘out there’ way like my peers did at fashion school. I always shop second hand and I just love to be comfortable more than anything. I want to pour my creativity into my actual designs rather than my own self, unless I’m wearing my own stuff for a photoshoot or something where I can enjoy dressing up for a couple of hours. I just hate this idea that you will only be taken seriously as an artist if you’re dressing super expressively. You can make art without having to BE the art. No shame in dressing however you want, but I don’t think it’s fair to judge someone’s creative potential purely on how they dress themselves. This video felt really validating so thank you ❤
i had a huge “personal style” journey when i got sober! i was a major party girl up until 01/06/24 when i quit drinking/drugs altogether after another disastrous black-out. i was majorly insecure when i was using/partying and covered this up by wearing ott (specifically-gothic) outfits. i thought this is what my “friends” and even my boyfriend found cool/attractive/interesting. i thought they’d never actually find me interesting…so i essentially compensated to take the attention away from myself-a person i fundamentally thought was never good looking/cool enough. i tuned out my insecurities in elaborate clothing and liquor.
when i quit i had a major fashion existential crisis…i hated everything in my closet and just realized how inauthentic many items were, and how impractical and agonizing getting dressed was everyday. i essentially felt like i had to get to know myself all over again. something that ironically helped me was finding a “style uniform” embracing a some minimalism in my closet, and limiting aspirational fashion content on my feed.
i feel more comfortable and truly myself when i get dressed now. i feel much less burdened with a need to perform for my peers. my insecurities are not perfect or cured by any means, but eliminating means i was using to harm myself further is allowing me to better address those issues honestly. i love my closet now, and am thankful for my sobriety everyday with the gifts it has given me 🫶🏻 this video really makes me feel seen!
Congratulations on getting sober!!! That’s such a big achievement 🥹 I hope you can continue to maintain sobriety but if you ever relapse I hope you’ll remember how to find the way out. Either way recovery has ups and downs so be kind to yourself! I hope you’ve got people supporting you and that you’re so proud of yourself ❤️❤️❤️
You are so strong for this! It takes great effort to find the clothes you're comfortable, without fighting addiction at the same time. I'm proud of you!
I love a basic look of solid colours, t shirts, sweaters, skirts, pants, dresses- but then I add bits of antique accessories I’ve accumulated along the way. Which mostly came from living next to an antique store while I was growing up
I work in a school. Last year was incredibly stressful. Dressing creatively was my saving grace. It was something I had control in and allowed me to express my creativity for the day.
mina - long time subscriber. havent watched a video in about a year. glad to be back.
this topic captivated me, as this is something ive seen in your evolution and thought about in myself a lot. when i moved to college, i was dressing up every day. i was coming from a conservative hometown as a gay kid and was ready to show the world the real me. these elaborate looks slowly started to change throughout my first year. something ive realized since was that when i was planning these elaborate outfits to simply wear to class, i was always thinking about myself a lot. it felt consuming, selfish, gross. and i still felt massively insecure even when people complimented me and my presentation of myself, my 'confidence'. its a strange thing - i had the 'confidence' to wear such things, and still felt horribly.
i dont think confidence is necessary to having personal style. i have my own style, im not an outwardly confident individual. i think some people dress a certain way that is effortless. it is something you have or you dont, simply. when people who dress 'basic' would ask me for tips i find it interesting, because they already have their own personal style. just because something doesn't 'stand out' doesn't make it un-personal.
right now, dressing up can make me feel physically sick. i wonder how my style will develop. i wear the same 5 outfits and swap things out to keep it fresh. i think we should all seek to condensing our wardrobe as much as possible.
all this being said, when i see someone all dressed up, im like yes girl.... so who knows.
as you said, when it comes to personal style the biggest problem (in my opinion) is that people don’t know themselves and it doesn’t look like they want to either. I used to try to be more “out there” with my fashion choices as I move in a fashion/art environment, and i didn’t understand why i couldn’t make it work, i felt like i was wearing a clown costume. Since trying to dress more intuitively and knowing what colors suit me best, I feel the most confident version of myself and getting dressed is SO easy, even tho i’ve become pretty basic. I’ve realized what my priorities are when it comes to getting dressed up (instead of trying to look a certain way) and everything else has fallen behind. Such a great take on you part :)
I hardcore agree with CJ the X when they said, "Fashion is language, and you're babbling incoherently". You can have a personal style that communicates who you are as an individual while also signalling to others where you "fit" in society.
Your disection of "basic" and your personal style journey is fascinating. I am constantly reflecting on my clothes and how i want to feel in them; do i want comfort, confidence , utility, fun? It feels like magic and an extension of myself, ever since i was a teenager. But also im sure theres a little insecurity there of me needing a personal style to feel interesting and unique. Being a human is so funny. Love your videos as always!
love this comment, super relatable honestly
We're all insecure, might as well have fun with your style and not think about it too much. Enjoy your style, whatever that is!
I really love this approach to fashion. Incorporating this philosophy in my life too. Thank you for sharing.
your eyes are just glowing omg that lipstick really brings them out
19:10 We have got to start letting peoples' opinions change fluidly so we don't have to include all these PSA's. It's only fashion. Yes, it's a great expressive outlet, but if you can't paint, then you can always knit. It's perfectly safe to formulate radical or temporary opinions about fashion.
This is why I realised what made me so unhappy about my wardrobe, there was clothing in there that only worked with another specific item and specific shoes and the weather had to be just right. It got exhausting because you constantly try to wear your clothes but it just doesn’t go with anything else. I realised that having 3 or 4 dominating colours in your wardrobe makes it so much easier to match your pieces. Think about the colours you like to wear, colours that you seem to never be able to match with anything and make your conclusions from that. It is so much easier to match neutral colours, colours that compliment each other or similar colours rather than trying your hardest to choose something for a crazy coloured piece that also has a print on it (This is about how this revelation changed my mindset, if you love an array of colours then by all means)
I struggle with this for like ages 😭 I have many clothes but y’know what? None of them I feel like go together and usually I just wear the same stuff over and over to be honest 🥲 but I’d rather not wear the same stuff over and over I would like to create outfits together and being able to construct a cute piece together that makes me feel comfortable but also says “this is me” if that makes sense 🫣😅
@@InfiniteCookie3-jo2bbfr whenever I try to wear something different I always just end up wearing what I always wear 😂 I literally just give up on the spot and say ‘who cares even’! I have soo many clothing items that don’t match with other clothing items-
Totally! Once I started focusing on a specific palette + white/black, my closet has become more coherent and I can combine things much more easily!
My colours are yellow-red-orange-pink/purple, and most of them go well together.
the way you spoke about having to prove to others that you were interesting through your outfits resinates so much with me. Years ago i would get up several hours early just to find a fit that i deemed cool enough, so that i could feel confident with myself. The way i dressed meant everything to me like the clothes were the real person I was just a mannequin...
I’M HERE AND I’M SAT! Personal style is so interesting. I believe I “found” mine when I started flipping my closet for autumn and winter. I concluded my style was inspired by the ladies of Living Single. I think with how much culture changes, what we infuse as we share culture, and fashion trends: we should remember that we bear the responsibility of personalizing instead of looking at references 24/7. Ok, watching the video now lol.
Being inspired by Living Single fashion wise is so real. Max is all over my mood board.
my relationship with personal style feels healthy. i take most of my inspiration from people i see in real life, and i'm very aware that nothing will ever be truly unique to me - i'm simply an amalgamation of influences that came before me. it feels like the only times we can create something genuinely new is when we invent new materials to work with.
i'm not a newyorker, not an american, i'm a 21 yo girl in the south of spain and still I think your experience and your journey is so relatable... i for one think personal style has to do with naturalness in a way. dressing ''well'' one day, maybe to boost your confidence bc you know the world will praise you, but the next day...just borrowing your mum's clothes, not wearing any makeup, i don't know. even wearing something someone gave you, just to show them you care about them... fashion can be so meaningful. but we are NOT cartoon caracters, we don't need to be consistent
I personally experienced a social environment where people were scared to wear something outside of the norm. Myself included. And a lot of these people that were scared, made fun of people that did wear something different. Wich made people scared and the circle continued. Now years later I can still visually see this phenomenon in that erea.
For me personally, personal style, isn't about how boring, or how extra your clothes are, its about the freedom to choose what you wear for yourself, without being scared, and without making fun of others.
And I would like to see more of that.
This is really interesting as it's so different to why I dress alternatively or interesting or "weird" clothing is a form of self expression and joy and is an extension of myself for me, it allows me to connect with others too and it can be a conversation starter I dress for younger me and for present me it reflects to people like me that I'm a safe person or that we possibly have things in common. I do drag too and fashion and style has a big part to play there too maybe one of the reasons we differ is I come from more of a costuming background rather than fashion
I’ve always wanted to dress alternatively/ quirky
I just need to save up 💷💷💷💷💷💷💷
My sister is in your video! She is Bethanymulo she was watching and so happy ❤❤❤❤❤🥹🥹🥹 I’m so glad too!!
Omg that video she made was so good
Which video are you talking about? I would like to have a look :)
Like many, I started watching you for your style and, can't lie, I do miss seeing your outfits. However, the outfits were just icing and it's your actual content I enjoy the most. And if you're more comfortable with it then who can ask for more?
This is one of ur most relatable videos, I've been always pointed out as someone having a distinct style till college, now i am working and for a year i look back nd see it got different , I think you're more into being comfortable, less effort in trying to maxx on creativity or looking special and different, tbh being ordinary is not a bad thing , it has its own uniqueness
Loved hearing your thoughts in this video! It made me think of Andy’s arc in devil wears prada, “doesn’t care what people think” > new found confidence and different treatment based on status projected by her clothes > stylish writer confident in herself vibes at the end.
I personally love fashion but often struggle with finding a balance between wearing high quality clothing I feel like represents my personal style and just practical stuff that I can wear to work and throw in the wash.
Being disabled, my personal style is extremely important. I've always had a unique sense of fashion, but when I'm sick, I can't wear most of my clothes because it's too much to handle or too uncomfortable to wear. But so many disabled people are dressed by others, for the convenience of others, mostly because accessibility in clothes is highly overlooked and most pieces are functionality first (or made for old people's taste)
I wanna shine and feel free to be myself when I go around with my cane and talking about disability rights and accessibility and joy. I spend so much time in conflict with my body, with clothes making me feel less than when I'm at my lowest, but anytime I can, I want to feel good and look good, give something more to my body than just the chronic pain and worry. Showing that disabled people can be and feel beautiful, even if I spend most of my time alone in my flat. It's humanizing to be seen as worthy of adornments, I feel
This is the most touching comment I've read in a long time, wow. My own chronic illness is relatively mild but your words hit me at my very core.
@ Hope you find some joy and a little bit of relief through it 💙
I'm also disabled, and I feel this as well. I've often thought of it as like, "well, people are going to stare anyway--might as well give them something to stare at."
Thank you for sharing this. I have more invisible chronic illness stuff going on, but it's been a huge deal having enough energy to express myself through clothing again. I resonate with what you describe about considering convenience and comfort in clothing out of necessity sometimes. It can feel so energizing and humanizing and grounding to have the ability to put an outfit together with creativity and purpose. It physically feels like interacting with my intellect and the world in a meaningful way.
Your comment touches something deep within the experience of disabled people. I have been disabled for a decade, but it’s progressed to the point of obvious physical deformity - my posture has completely collapsed. I had given up on myself and was wearing old joggers in plain grey and black that didn’t even fit me properly, with old t-shirts a family member offered to give me before throwing them away. Then I bought a couple of fun patterned items of clothing on impulse one day. Trying them on, it ignited a new passion in me for fashion, one that lets me accept my physical differences (most of the time). In the past two years, I’ve built a beautiful wardrobe that is comfortable in my wheelchair but still sparks joy every time I look at it. Sometimes I can’t get dressed for a week… but when I do go out, I have this beautiful feeling of self expression. Now I don’t hate my body in the same way I used to; I can look forward to decorating it in colours, patterns, and textures that I find beautiful.
personal style is a big outlet for creative expression in my life because clothing was the first way i was able to establish my transfemininity. fashion helped me experienced a world aligned with my gender identity. i am passionate about style because i look at it with childlike curiousity and nostalgia for a time in my life where clothing could unburden me from dysphoria and enrich my imagination.
today i look at fashion and glam always centering the anarchy of good dress. i broke all the rules when i put on a dress and my first pair of heels and it was the happiest i’ve ever been. there are no rules for fashion that i am bounded by save for the bliss of a look that’s true to me. fashion for me, then, is truly a release from the expectations of polite society.
absolutely loveeee this video 🥹
Yes!! Gender queerness and queerness highlight how whilst fashion can be an individual and person style, it can also be a rebellion, and a revolution.
I feel the same way as a trans man ❤
preach!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hello beautiful doves!
🖐🏻👊🏻
Having a set template of what you wear makes it so much easier to get dressed every single day, even on days where I don’t leave the house, simply because it has become so routine. For me it’s leggings/tights, a midi-length skirt and a sweater (or a simple top in summer). I can mix and match so many of my items (thanks to my ‘personal style’ shining through in the colors/neutrals/patterns that I pick’), which still gives me the feeling of creative liberty and fun, but the outline of the outfit is always the same. It’s so much less stressful and indeed makes you feel more dignified and productive. Interesting to see it’s working for you too!
Amazing video! It resonated with me in so many aspects 💗
7:14
15:05 Lynn Jaeger
21:52 Marco De Vincenzo
23:01 Shakaila Forbes - Bell
24:12 Dan Schawbel
25:12 Rosie Finley
25:49 About personal style and individual pieces
28:45 🌟
29:10 Iris Apfel 🌟
30:25 "I just told you" iconic
34:26 🌟🌟🌟
37:15 "If I am worth anything later, I am worth something now. For wheat is wheat, even if people think it is grass in the beginning."
OMG what Iris Apfel says in regards to fashion is now being pushed to the body itself. "People feel secure if they look like other people". Now everyone is starting to look alike due to cosmetic procedures. Absolutely terrifying.
That’s so true and super scary to think about! Especially considering the kinds of ideologies that historically idealise everyone looking the same physically… Like it’s natural for people to want to fit in, we’re social beings. But what are we trying to fit in with?? Who’s deciding that? What are the consequences for those who can’t fit in?
I mean… what’s your definition of everyone? You mean fake influencers… who all live in LA? Or celebs… who mostly live in LA? Or what? Because I’ve never actually gone anywhere where plastic surgery is actually popular enough to see it reflected in the faces of people around me.
@@maverickbull1909 Yup, especially in my little corner of Europe that's a complete non issue. I rarely see women who got their lips done, maybe the occasional nose job but even that is just not a thing here.
28:20 I have broad shoulders too so I always shied away from puffed sleeves, convinced they’d make me look broader. But when I decided to give some puffed sleeved summer dresses a try last year I felt like they suited me so much! I felt they created such a pretty shape and created a graceful extension to my already broad shoulders. It was a pleasant surprise!
I think broad shoulders are very nice! They were also a body trend (lol) in the 1930s - many of the dresses tried to create an inverted triangle shape!
@gremlita This plus my propensity to wearing wide legged trousers; maybe I’ll start describing myself as 1930s shaped 😄
I agree with that quote of Iris Apfel that you can learn style, it’s inherent, you have to know yourself first. I’ve always had a very strong sense self and thus a strong sense of style. It’s evolved over the years into something more consistent and more fitting for my now 30yr old self but it is very distinct especially where I currently live. I’m a black woman, living in a predominantly white city. I stick out no matter where I am or what I am wearing. Out of fear of making prejudged based on the color of my skin, i like to believe that my style says a lot about who I am before someone even gets to have a predetermined view of me. Of course, I can never control what someone thinks of me but I like to think that I have that control with my clothes. My clothes are certainly a security blanket for me.
I have a unique/bold style for the sake of actual self expression, it helps me to be myself (because I can't hide who I am if I'm making it clear by my appearance who I am), meet cool people and ultimately it's just fun. At the end of the day, I'm far happier, and more accepting of who I am.
And when I say my style I mean I just wear the clothes I like and they happen to not be basic clothes... when I was wearing basic clothes it was out of fear
As always thank you for the video Mina. You’re one of the few people I can listen to “yap” on for more than 30 minutes. Always insightful and well researched. Your point about having the privilege to dress up or down because you live in New York really resonated with me. When I lived in New York I got away with dressing any way I wanted and was generally respected. Now, living in Mexico this is not the case. As black guy, if I dress too casually or “urban” I am treated quite a bit differently than if I wear my glasses and more preppy look. It’s always something I’ve just kept to myself so nice to hear someone speak about this topic.
It makes me super sad when someone I follow who’s eccentric outfits I enjoy either leaves the fashion or just stops being super into that style anymore and starts dressing “normal” even though I did the same exact thing!!! In 2020 I was newly single and started experimenting with my personal style, buying new clothes and doing really fun makeup all the time. Now that I’m in a relationship again and working a desk job I would love to spend time dressing up and doing my makeup but I just don’t have the time or the energy - and I also have other things that bring me joy. I think a lot of people went through that after covid restrictions were lifted.
Are we the same person lol. I used to be so into fashion before covid when I was in uni. Now I am a post grad, working every day is a lot. I don’t have time or energy to think about what part/style of fashion I like. I have gone back to reading and gaming to make me happy instead. What an odd turn of events, I thought I would spend the money from my first job on fashion but I don’t. Or maybe I am just having a post grad identity crisis.
don't let a man steal your beauty, just by being around
a BF air glowdown is a WHOLE thing
So getting into a relationship and having a job makes you boring?
@@seabreeze4559 I actually found my personal style in my current relationship and while working at home. I put together outfits because I get bored of sitting at home in pyjamas and I look for reasons to go outside, and it's usually very nice) and my now-husband often compliments me on my outfits and rates them in a humorous way 😂 "you are dressed as a lesbian librarian" is my all-time favourite review of his)
I respect this decision so much. It all comes with the age of maturing and being at peace with yourself. Personally for me, I'm still way too impatient, way too curious about the world, and way too passionate about expression and self identity. I still have many outrageous outfits in me, and many more to still discover. It will be a while until I'm satisfied. And as a uni student who usually sits at home, waiting for life to get interesting, it's the one joy I have most days. I actually look forward to a day when I'm fatigued by fashion and find a new source of comfort and self expression, but today is not that day.....
This video is so visceral and it's helping me to reflect on what i think personal style means for me as well! It's so awesome that you found a new level of confidence and you no longer feel the need to dress as extravagantly as before, but i don't think dressing "extra" necessarily means more work put into an outfit. I think once you have found your true personal style that means every outfit for you is easy and comes together naturally! Whether its "basic" or not, you feel comfortable and confident and that's when the real YOU shines through and you no longer feel the need to make a certain kind of impression on the people around you.
Agreed
If I could double like this video, I would. I absolutely LOVED how you were able to poke holes in such an influential industry such as fashion while also admiring the work done by such high-stake and well known people within it. Fashion is truly what you take from it or don’t, but at the end of the day, the question is whether you are leading your own expression or someone/ something else is. Thank you, Mina! ❤
I loved your style. it's literally what made me stop and give your channel a listen. I will miss it, but none of us stay the same and this is what life is about.
i havent been following mina's content as much as i used to before, but im getting back into it, but i did notice the style change!! it feels weird to say that ive mostly known her in her "eccentric era", so im eager to hear what she says abt this recent change
I kind of have a similar experience around confidence and fashion. Ive always been shy and insecure, and I think dressing well and differently was a way to express myself and provide some confidence when I wasn’t able to do so through my personality.
Now that I’m a little better socially I gravitate more to my comfier clothes. But on the other hand I also do have more confidence to occasionally wear something wild when I want to. Basically I am just getting less stressed about clothes generally and it’s a thing I hope will continue.
Super interesting topic thank you Mina!!
The only thing we know for sure about the future for all of us is that we will change. And hopefully we all greet those changes with open arms and joy :-)
Good for you!!! I used to dress crazy and always wore full makeup. Now i love being simple/comfortable and wearing little or no makeup. My uniform is denim, boots, & a white top. I love it!
it’s not often that I click on one of your videos, Because I know I won’t listen if my head not in the right place, so i’m really glad to have been drawn to your video today. There’s a lot to learn from this, not just about fashion, but about life. thanks for sharing mina 🍁🧸
Me too Mina, I like to experiment and do whatever aesthetic I want when I want but also it’s easy in life to be basic
True
I really resonate with the idea that being happy and dressing in a way that doesn't stress you out can be better than being stylish or fashionable. Recently, my clothes don't fit my body anymore, and I had to donate basically my whole wardrobe of things that I loved and could no longer wear. I also felt like my style was changing and it would be a good opportunity to explore where I wanted to go next with my style. But with everything else in my life going on, it just became more of a weight than a fun thing. I decided to just buy duplicate colors of t shirts, tank tops, and pants I liked and were comfortable and stretchy to fit my changing body. It's been a relief and its nice to know I have a good base to build a new style and wardrobe from when I feel like it would actually be fun for me again. Thanks for the lovely video and thoughts to chew on!
About looking "ridiculous" in photos from back then, i've never thought that about the outfits i wore when i was younger, like, i always wear what i like to wear no matter if it's trendy or not (although, i do love certain trends and incorporate them time to time), and if i do think i looked ridiculous it's because i was wearing something i thought i was "suppossed to". But also, i still wear things from 10 years ago lol personal style it's just not buying things and wearing what you already own and love, and if you buy, it's to complement what you have, which also ties to body proportions and what you want your body to look like wearing clothes. If you got that down, you don't have to think in what your wear, what you have already it's an outfit
i 100% agree with this!
I still think indie sleaze and Tumblr fashion are great and I can't wait for them to come back.
Indie sleaze was so fun
I’m kind of in the opposite boat forced to dress basic but wanting to dress eccentric but can admit putting an outfit together can be very overwhelming
Honestly I noticed the style change in the last video you posted. I didnt recognize you at first, but I wasn’t gonna mention it😂 Very interesting video!
the way your face is so beautifully distinctive on its own I barely even noticed the changes hahaha
Ran here from insta. Long time viewer, first time commenting! I feel like I have had an opposite trajectory to your style journey - I was always interested in fashion and design but was insecure and felt like it wasn’t ’for me’, so dressed specifically to blend in for a long time. I bet nobody else in my life has noticed but it is nice now to enjoy pieces that I’ve been drawn to and collected over the years and feel much more ‘me’. Love your videos and missing the podcast. X
Good thing, that you’re using fashion to express yourself 🌈
Honestly, I'm glad you have your eyebrows now, they look great. You looked amazing before and you look amazing now. I think it's about feeling comfortable in whatever you're wearing.
This was a really awesome topic, and I enjoy your take on it! I have been on a personal style journey, and have struggled with the need for practicality in what I wear, and the desire to fight this urge to "stand out," as if by finding my personal style, it will prove I'm special. This was such a good take, and really provides a critique of personal style that is nuanced and well-researched. Thank you!