Which verse was that? And that is definitely true. I've had "friends" who would do that whole "jokingly" put you down. It's a really insidious way to manipulate you.
Harlequin Heart hey I know this is late. But do you also *mistakenly* thought a group of people will not judge you and become great friends, when actually they’re fake, and the group of people you can actually trust are those from the other table you were not able to notice, until they poke you and ask you to be with them, because you were *NATURALLY* focused on that certain group?
That describes my relationship with my boyfriend to a tee. I figured it out too late. I thought he just needed unconditional love but all he did was treat me even worse.
Another is they give you unsolicited advice and try to tell you how you live your life. They try to change you because they can't accept you for who you already are!
I unfortunately am guilty of giving unsolicited advice :/ With one friend it is just an unhealthy dynamic that we have built over years. She leans on me a lot for emotional support and I enable it. I am definitely working on it.
Exactly, offering you righteous unsolicited advice and then when you kindly let them know it doesn't feel good they get angry and say fine I won't say anything again or don't tell me anything anymore... then when you try to confront them and let them know what they said felt hurtful, they say I know.
I have given unsolicited advice and at the moment have been accused of trying to control the person. I gave an opinion that obviously contradicted theirs. Then time passed they did what they wanted and it backfired. If you call me your friend I’m going to give my input to help you if I see the choices you are making will hurt you in the long run. People sometimes want friends to accept the lies they tell themselves. They want an ally for their lies. I want my friends to tell me the truth even if it’ll hurt me. Now I learned people really don’t want an honest answer. I decided to let them sink and learn the hard way.
i think it’s very important to also try not to be the toxic friend too, we can be toxic without realizing, and being self aware means doing things according to our values
I have a recurring issue like that about a neighbor. He has been nice to me and a good neighbor! Many here have a problem with the things he owns. I always say the same thing: he got what he wanted, I'm happy for him. If I want the same things he has all I have to do is work for them. I don't have the time or energy to hate him for getting some of the things that make life worth living for him. He does not know I do this. I have never said a cross word about him. I do many others the same way. There is just one person who needs to know I do this... God. I'm always positive about others accomplishments. Everyone has different goals. Sometimes a kind word...
Jackie and Rico, I know what you mean. They only seem to remember you when they want something. You have no needs. You don't want to participate. You don't want to be part of the group. You are invisible, until a need surfaces in them. This is B.S. You are human too! I choose to not let that continue once I recognize it is happening. Forget me also when you need me, don't act like you're changing or different. Once exposed, I'm done with you. If they can't recognize your value and refuse to treat you equal, then you really don't need them in your life. It only serves to pull you down. You feel drained and exhausted after dealing with them, like someone pulled your plug. Drop them, do yourself a favor.
Another red flag: you fall out or you're NOT friends anymore and they go telling all your personal business. I don't care if we're not friends anymore: I won't go telling your business to anybody!
Me and my friend are still technically friends but things are not going well... but whatever happens between that person I always explaining the arguments in full detail we had with another friend.... is that bad?
I’m on the cusp. I cant stand her constant complaining about self inflicted issues. Repetitive complaints about the SAME issues! Im a solution finder! I don’t wanna hear daily about how life is beating her down 😩
I always end things but in some way she always get keep crawling back ... It is so weird, because I think of all I did while we had no contact and then it all goes down hill... Why is it so effin hard. We live in same small town and have kids in the same school and some friends together. Shit is hard!
@@somethingbambi875 I get you, this happened for a while in my case, and we are from the same small town, but trust me, I had to cut all contact suddenly because I knew if I kept having this "merciful" attitude, I would never get rid of her, especially now that I had identified that she was the source of my lack of energy, I really needed to get on with my own life
I agree that is the best way, but it's still unfortunate that you can't share your progress with some people who may end up being so negative or unsupportive before you even reach success.
@@ninanickel3103 this is why i am not tallking to this girl anymore, i block her on instagram also , people be acting real funny without no reason . when i see her i am not going to even say nothing . i am focusing on my kids and god and family period
Another thing is when you tell a person your goals and dreams and they don’t say anything at all or just get quiet! That’s a major red flag! Also when ever you are trying to accomplish something or build a business, brand, etc., pay attention to the people who don’t support you, don’t share your stuff, or just don’t say anything about what you’re doing period. People will show you who they are, if you pay attention!
@@DavidRenegade there's a difference between listening and just going dead silent when somebody tells you exciting news or goals. To just get silent is not a normal reaction
What I've encountered more often than not is the Fake Friendships where the other person doesn't wish me harm but truly doesn't regard me as anything other than a side character. I've encouraged my friends and offered my help but that is never reciprocated.
This girl would always reach out to me first to hang out, and I excepted it, but only to be so drained after our hangouts. All she does is talk about her self and I don’t think she realizes it. How could you be so self-absorbed that you don’t get tired of talking about your self for hours on end?
I had a birthday party. My "friend" had an attitude the whole time. People sang Happy birthday to me and she stood there with her arms folded. I cut her off.
She kept saying she didn’t have an attitude, so who knows. I even had a coworker ask me who she was because her attitude was so bad. Understand this is the last thing in a list of things she was doing. She was doing that copy cat shit and that subliminal facebook status shit. You confront her and it’s like, no! I would never. But everyone else sees the bull.
you're not telling the whole story, what actually happened. This sounds like there was some past incident of you flirting with her man / husband or trying to take him or purposely dressing sexy in front of him. Why would she not participate unless there's something you've done. Just based on the comment, you seem very shady 👀
I dislike being friends with people who talk shit about others without knowing their stories. I choose my friends wisely, not because the person laugh at your jokes is a friend.
Rina Querida EXACLY. my ex friend always judged and insulted people on appearance or just bc they did one annoying thing, he would backtalk people and it made me so sad, he bullied a kid in my class til he switched schools....
Someone once told me this and it helps me everytime I'm confused about someone in my life... it's all about how someone makes you FEEL when you're around them. If you feel nervous and on edge, there's something not right in the friendship. If you feel chilled and warm and yourself completely, they're your true friend 😊🙌
Some friends make you feel comfortable, but you feel relieved when you are on your way home. That gut feeling of relieve is what tells you that that person is toxic.
I have a ''friend'' who is a Narcissist. She would always over talk me while I was talking, always switched the topics abruptly if it was something she didn't want to talk about, She would down play me and try to make me feel less than and that she was superior over me. When I got engaged she became so jealous and envious to the point she started wearing random rings on her ring finger even though she is not engaged in hopes of stealing my joy. I had to cut her off and keep my distance from her. She is not walking in the holy spirit.
sounds like my ex-mil without the ring scenario. I learned a supposed 'friend' of mine was a narcissist and a liar after she got divorced. It's like I suddenly became the competition. Everything I confided in her about over the years became her ammo. Including confiding in her about a guy that I was just head over heels for, making progress with getting to know him....he was interested, then envy got the best of her and she pounced on him...like a cougar. She deniedher actions even when caught and would just revel in delight at my frustration. Cut 'em both out of my life. I wont date a guy that dont know what he wants & finds it okay to go after girls in same friend group... don't know what he was thinkin' but it ain't happening
Logical Lily men who date in the same friend group are disgusting honestly. They want a audience full of resentment when dating an ex girlfriend’s friend (think about it ; no matter how hot the guy would you take your ex’s friend seriously 😒) they want to feel like John out of John Tucker Must Die.
I had a childhood friendship that carried over into adulthood. We were friends for 40 years. She was not financially secure, so I would take her places all the time. I didn't mind because I loved her and wanted her company. She would say negative things about men I dated, cars I drove, the new home I bought, but I just thought she was a bit jealous. When I moved out of state, she didn't want to talk to me anymore, just cut me off like I never existed. Then I realized that she had been using me for many years and was never a real friend.
Oh no, that's really horrible. 40 Years!!! You are a very good friend and I hope you've found better friends since then. I hope she learns how cruel and ungrateful she was. These types of people always learn a lesson in life after being so selfish.
Correction... You knew someone since childhood. Not a childhood friend. Same thing happened with me, and I realized we just knew each other for a long time..and for me, too damn long. Cut them off and never looked back. I met a wonderful person during that time and we have an amazing relationship.
I wanted to respond to Mar's comment about knowing someone from childhood and not actually losing a childhood friend. I was betrayed by a relative a few years back, and when I look back now, I feel convinced that there was no time she loved me. I play back past conversations, from the years when I thought she was my close companion, and I hear envy loud and clear, I hear that my husband loves me more than I deserve to be loved and I am happier than I deserve to be. At the end of the day, we don't really lose friends, we just finally wake up and realize that the enemies who disguise as friends have never really been our friends.
When a friend talks shit about your common friends it's a huge red flag too. If she/he backfires others to you she/he'll do the other way around to you.
Here’s what I’ve learned. Don’t ignore the early red flags. When someone shows you who they are believe them. Simple as that! If they treat other people badly it’s just a matter of time before they have you in their sights.
1) competitive ( buys what you buys, tries to one up you, flirts or makes a pass at your SO) jealous when you get a new car, house, jewelry etc... 2) doesn’t invite you to GNO, parties, outings, concerts bc you outshine them 3) not supportive of you during a major problem, major illness, divorce, etc. 4) forgets important dates ie your birthday, cancels, etc 5) spreads your business 6) only calls when in the car, waiting in line, bored, hangs up immediately when someone else calls, calls infrequently just out of curiosity not really caring or involved. Curiosity is just nosiness. Nosy competitive people suck. Don’t fall for big fake smile, hug and the high pitched voice. Fake fake fake
No.2 for me.Not invited to certain gatherings that have “VIP” people.&then get told about it days later,but I just keep my mouth shut because clearly I shine to bright.
I had a friend who had me take her to Sephora to buy every single makeup product that I use on my face and she ended up buying the same swimsuit I bought. I was flattered and thought nothing of it. A couple years later, she got married and we both got pregnant around the same time. She competed and compared during our pregnancies and even asked me how much my son’s crib and dresser costed us. I told her that it didn’t matter. She has followed me to two CNA jobs and we currently work together. I recently got engaged and she said “congratulations” and then immediately talked about how she spent 10k on her wedding and talked about how her food was $11 a plate. I didn’t ask for any of this info. My fiancé and I also bought a house and all she could suddenly talk about was how SHE was saving for a house. She then asked me where my engagement ring was from and said it was “similar” to hers. They are nothing alike. She then trashed me at work to anyone who would listen about how I “copied” her engagement ring when it looks nothing like hers and I didn’t pick out my ring. She picked out her ring and has been married for years. She told everyone how I only got pregnant in order to copy her and how I copied all her baby toys because they are so “similar”. Our baby boys are 2 months apart... toys will be similar. I have the same swing from Walmart because it was all they had. After this, I just confronted her at the end of a shift and she denied saying anything despite over 5 people mentioning how she was downright trashing me at work. As soon as I mentioned “competition” and “jealousy”, she shook her head and stomped away like a child. She was so upset from being called out that she almost ran over someone in the parking lot and a there is an ongoing investigation. Stay away from competitive and envious people - they are dangerous.
Sounds like my cousin I grew up with. In highschool she said I copied her style. After we became distant I thought it through and realized she was the one copying my style...from wearing jeans and tshirt from Walmart to wearing baggy tshirt and sweat pants. I keep changing my style everytime she started wearing like me lol I dislike competitive people like her. Yes they always talk about them self most of the time.
@@MaiXoxo3 cousins are frenemies that are harder to get rid of. Do you have to put with her at family functions still ? because i imagine you share the same set of grand parents .
I have an aunt like this and also had friends like this. They really are terrible people who always want you to be below them. You hit the nail on the head; stay away at all costs. They will destroy your life.
You can actually cut people off without necessarily having bad blood. Sometimes you gotta protect your peace. When you see them keep it cordial and keep it moving. Real friends are very rare to find but again putting your trust on humans fully is your biggest downfall, put your trust instead on God and regardless of whether you have friends or not, you will still be ok.
@Doubleshot thank you for your reply, that resonates very very true in my experiences as well. Even though it's late in my life, I am learning to be comfortable with my own range of emotions and be around people who allow me to be me. ❤️
preach! like it''s your job to be bubbly and happy all the time and when you aren't one day, they give you grief for it. We're human and sometimes something can get us down.
They could also just be treating you that way. For example, I knew someone who seemed that way and if you complained about something (even a little thing) they would be real quiet and put up an upbeat attitude. Then, I overheard them talking to someone else and they were like a totally different person, gossiping, complaining, and everything. So maybe those people you are referring to are just scared to admit when they have down days to certain people. However, they want you to see them in a certain light.
It has taken me a very long time to realize many of these things. The biggest red flag I ignored for the longest time was the friend not being happy for my successes or accomplishments. I got the chance to move away to a state that I'd wanted to live in for quite some time, and rather than be excited or happy for me, the friend became very cold and distant when I told them and were that way whenever the subject was brought up. Anytime something bad happened, they always wanted the "tea," but whenever something great happened, they were either silent and changed the subject or just visibly irritated/jealous. That is NOT healthy for a friendship.
WHY! WHY! WHY! is it soooooo hard to find a true (GENUINE ) friend, people are always lying even for no reason, trying to hurt you, even damage your property, now I don't go out much unless to buy food, this world feel like a prison, I don't I can take it any more, I keep crying every single day, there's no one to take to, people do not actually listen to each other, I was born in the wrong world, people are mean. Thank you for your advice though
If you believe in prayer, ask God to attract genuine people into your life. Also you must be a true genuine friend as well. When you buy food, smile :), compliment someone and strike up a conversation. Don't give up but don't be desperate, just be a light in this dark world. Blessings to you!
I would add that showing how independent you are to others (not needy) and slowly cultivating a relationship into a possible friendship is a good way to go. That way, you don't scare them into thinking that being your friend will be draining for them. I had a friend like that. Very nice but so needy and taxing with their constant problems. I finally had to drop them. Also, some people don't like the idea of letting someone down before the friendship even began because they can't help them. Lastly, keep in mind that most really close true genuine friendships is a result of years of relationship building and going through many experiences together. If you are trying to make new friends, that takes a lot time and patience and you may have to settle having casual friends to talk to once in a while and go from there.
I was not happy with myself and it eventually bubbled out into my friendships. God is still working in my life so I know how to build better habits. I am glad to know that I am going to be a better friend to the ones I still have.
@@MaiXoxo3 I heard this somewhere.. no matter how much someone tries to hide it, it’s like a pregnancy. Eventually, it shows. (I believe Nino Brown said it if I’m not mistaken)
@@ingridmccray7915 yeah...also the saying action speaks louder than words. One of my friend I thought was nice and supportive (in person and via messenger)...but I realized she never likes any of my posts unless I tagged her. For example we both like taking pictures and I feel she wants more likes than me. So she'd never like my picture posts that way I'm one less point away than her 😂 I'm always liking her picture posts...until recently I stopped and she messaged me to see how I'm doing. She also finally liked one of my post...now I know she is jealous but wants to know what I'm up to 😂 I'm now silently working on myself.
@@MaiXoxo3 Absolutely! It can be hard to believe it when you see it. It’s surprising how people will go far in the most trivial ways to “outshine” you. As long as you know the motive on why they do it, it’s easier to digest and it will blow off you. I had a “friend” that would check in to see how I was doing and asked what I was up to and she was really being competitive to see how she could stay ahead of me, so I became very vague and gave her nothing about my day. I kept conversations neutral until she fizzled out which was what I wanted. I’m so glad you recognized it for what it was. Having someone near you with that vibe is dangerous, annoying, and bad for your personal energy when you’re not on that low frequency. I’m glad you move I’m silence. Especially with your goals, feelings, etc, anything that’s close to your heart.
@@ingridmccray7915 Thankyou for your kind words. I've been through a lot of pains in the past that now I've become immune to toxic people 😂 they think they can hurt me but I'm not even hurting no more...I just don't want to deal with their toxic behavior. I think it's best to keep a low profile...so toxic people don't know what you are up to because if they did...they would do everything in their power to belittle or bring you down. The top can be lonely at times but at least you will be more at peace 🕊️
Heard a great quote today, “life is to short for me to wait for you to act right.” I met a lady in my apartment building I thought I could be friends with, hung out with her twice. All she did was talk about herself, try to “up” everything I said and basically was annoying. I cut her off immediately, I don’t have time for people like that!! She still texts but I don’t respond for a few days, due to this she text less now. Girl Bye 👋🏽
I understand the concept of the "slow phase out" but for alot of people it just doesn't work. I'm a very nice person who is easily taken advantage of and these toxic people know how to weasle their way back in and guilt you and make you doubt yourself and your feelings about them. At 28 years old I've FINALLY found the courage to cut off, ctrl alt delete my frenemy out of my life 😂
I've met many people and I have a lot of acquaintances, but very few friends.. True friends are a rare treasure, acquaintances a dime a dozen.. The world is full of apathetic individuals. We need to start teaching our children to have more compassion and empathy. Narcissism is becoming the norm, unfortunately.. Thank you for the video and many blessings to you and your loved ones..
Mrs Rebecca Brown me too. Since I lost my husband and soulmate over 4 years ago, my life seems full of acquaintances, frenemies, narcissists and people who seem to only want to be in my company because they have a ‘favour’ to ask of me.
I ended a 7 year friendship due to how she made me feel about myself. It wasnt until my divorce that I noticed how bad it really was. I started to work on my self esteem and building up my self worth, and she slowly started ghosting me. When she felt like hanging around or talking is was always because she wanted to vent about her men situation. She constantly picked jokes about my weight and joked about me being loose... and it hurt. Even after going to therapy for self harm thoughts and her knowing she never let up. She was telling people my personal business...strangers would say things only she would know...and when I confronted her she played it off like I was being overly sensitive. A week before Christmas I went off. She hurt me for the last time. We had been talking about past relationships and I brought up how badly my past relationship hurt me, and she laughed. She somehow thought it was funny...i blew up and told her it wasnt funny to me and she wasnt a true friend to be treating me thats way. I ended it and feel better ever since. But it is hard letting people go after 7 years.
Elaine Brown i ended a 20 year friendship last year. Hardest and best decision I’ve ever made. You definitely don’t need someone like that in your life and a few months from now it will be fine and you will be bright!
It hurts being time was wasted. Because you did not let someone go for 7 years.. they weren't there fo you to let them go you know? I do not even know you but I'm happy you let that toxic person out your life.
Wow I share the same experience except I was mostly the one that spent or handled the bills where ever we went out. I tolerated her bitchy narssistic ass for 7yrs. Now I've made a new friend I really hope it works out cos I really love her.
I applaud your courage to walk away from a toxic friendship. When people show you who they are, believe them, no matter how unbelievable the situation or incident might be. May you find plenty of supportive, loyal, loving friends for a lifetime. God bless you.
I got married, and “my friend” came to visit from out of state, she saw my ring she said” I have a friend who has a bigger ring”. I absolutely love my ring. I’m like ok; While she is sitting across from me with no ring and no man🤦🏼♀️. Strike #1. Strike #2 I picked her up in my new Porche and she didn’t say a word, not that I needed her to compliment my car, only for her to say 2 months later my car is her dream car. strike #3 She complimented my home by accident. I was taking her around my community to show her different model homes, we stopped at the corner and she said “I loooovveeeee that house”. I said, “that’s our house” and she got quite and didn’t say a word. I realize she wasn’t kidding me when she said she was jealous of me at dinner. I didn’t know what to say when she said she was jealous of me. I cut her out my life for good. I never had a problem giving my friends encouragement or compliments from looking good to doing good. Their is room for everyone at the top. Being a bitter Betty is not a good look. It took me a few months, but I had to let her go. We were fine until I got married and things were going well for me.
Friend enemy ran into me at the store I told her I got married 12 years ago she looked at my hand I don’t see a ring l told her I don’t wear one because of my line of work l keep my hands in chemicals she knows my line of work she didn’t say congratulations or nothing she always running me down whenever we run into each other somewhere I try not to run into her sometimes it happens she ain’t change I can see it
I think we need more content like this about the significance that friendship plays in our lives. Some frienemies are more psychologically damaging than romantic relationships
"Work in silence and let success make the noise ". I love it. Such a wise, beautiful young lady. May all your friends be mentors and blessings to assist you in all of your endeavors. 😇
I just cut out a huuuge frenemie and all the signs pointed to our friendship being fickle from the beginning. I confronted her and she got upset and blocked me. But it’s great to now be living worry and judgment free
I call some relationships "Pretendships." Another friend of mine uses the relationship "Friendshift" where the relationship has changed and you are going in different directions. Unfortunately, if you don't talk about it, and you let it drag on, it can become very toxic and suddenly you are fighting about and ending the relationship because of something it wasn't about in the first place. Festering resentment is the ultimate poison in any relationship.
Damn, as a woman who kinda lived in her head all her life and never had a group of female friends to help navigate these scenarios, this was very eye opening. Thank you.
When they moan on and on about their other friends, going on about how they hurt them, their faults, telling you private things, etc. They will do the same about you to others. Also, racist comments which they think is funny, especially when it’s directed at you! 💔
It’s sad I live with a friend like this right now. She invited ME into her home but continues to do all of these things sometimes deliberately and/or subliminally. It’s a manipulation of the mind. Acting like she’s helping & still disrespecting you in many ways. Even when I talk about getting my own place, she acts weird. After I leave, I plan on letting her go. It’s sad but I feel it deep down in my heart that I cannot stay friends with this type of person.
I hope you can move soon. I had a toxic friend who I paid a large amount of money each month. I had no where whilst I sorted out my mothers Probate. Her house smelled, she did not clean up was an alcoholic and slept around. I had live with her to find out how low down she is. Even now after moving she is sneakly trying to find out my business. God will deal with your enemies.
The fade away is therapuetic almost; it's like weening yourself off of that toxicity so you don't go back or wear an ambience that attracts more toxic entities or become toxic. Thank you 🙏
Sis... all the people I expected to clap when I started winning at this or that, we're really not. That was sad to realize how fake of a friend basically my whole circle was... It was one thing not being there for me when I was down, but not being able to be happy for my success... why do I even have a relationship with you?
Yes! I totally agree with the fake friends who won’t defend you when people are saying bad things behind your back. There was someone I worked with who would always tell me about how one person was badmouthing me to her. She’d then tell me not to say anything. It really passed me off & I finally told her that the fact that this person felt comfortable enough to badmouth me to her, that meant they knew she wouldn’t stand up for me. I told her that people could NEVER badmouth her to me because they knew I would get them all the way together. One day she told me how her boyfriend dragged her kids & she didn’t defend them. That put it all into perspective for me! If she wouldn’t even defend her own kids, why should I think she would have my back???? Ever since, I’ve kept her at safe distance.
I passed my exams(really major), told my bestie about it. She said "ok". Literally. That's all I got after an entire year of work on one exam. An "ok" from my best friend.
This video is fantastic. I recently had a childhood “frenemy” try to come back into my life. They displayed so many of the frenemy traits you’re describing here. Unbelievably, they can’t understand why I have zero desire to rekindle the connection. My enemy had an unloaded gun pointed at my heart, and they gave him the bullet. It puzzles me that they would even consider making the attempt. But I hit the block button on my phone and email so I don’t have to deal with the excuses anymore. I forgive all, but I’ll never forget what was done. Onward!
I learned a lot from listening to this. It really resonated with me. We should also be mindful and reflect on ourselves as well. Making sure we are not creating toxicity in our friendships is so important.
When I apply all these criteria I’m left with 0 ‘friends’ 🤣 The bit about constant competition really rang home. This is what all my ‘friendships’ seem to lead to...
I don't think you understand how much your channel truly is a Ministry. I am going through a season where I sometimes can't make heads or tails of my own life and it feels like everything is falling apart. I have never felt so alone ever in my life, and it feels like every time I think I'm about to find friends or mentors I get stabbed in the back. This video is right on time, and I'm not trying to be creepy and I know I don't know you, but the get ready with me chats and girl talks really minister to me because the community you've built helps me not feel so alone. Thank you for pushing beyond all the people who discouraged you to keep this channel up. It's truly a life saver.
This little video was right on time. I'm mostly an introvert and usually not very social but the last two years i've been trying to meet and get to know new people and form some sisterhoods and it always seem to blow up in my face. I think Ima just go back to my bubble... Where its safe... lol
I am a introvert too. I only deal with family and that's Thanksgiving and maybe one or two other times. Most people get on my nerves. So I'm a loner and perfectly happy. I am a widow and my brain thinks I'm still young but I'm near sixty. But my grey tells a different story. I have one relative that calls 4 or 5 times a week we disagree on everything. I stay in the Bible cause I don't go to church. Mostly because my left foot is swoll and I have to wear compression socks. I do have 2 friends in GA. Angie and Barbara. And when I get over the death of my daughter, who died in April. I will get back on Facebook. In maybe about a year or three. Right now it's too hard. The LORD knows me and I just can't confirm to the world. So I keep it out. The LORD comforts me like nothing can and I have peace in my little sanctuary I call home. My only vice is shopping and the many, many purses I collect. Being alone, I'm good. But I wouldn't mind someone who likes drive me to my shopping trips. But then I would be using them. Unless they like shopping trips too.
My friend of 10 years stab me in the back four times in the last six months and I’ve been on the fence whether I should end that friendship because I’ve known her for so long. And all the things that you discussed in your video at least five of them lined up with how our friendship is. You are a godsend and this is exactly what I needed to hear to make a decision. Thank you.
Thanks so much for this video. Even at 27, I need to hear these for myself as well to be a better friend. I definitely have been trying to discern good potential friends from bad ones. It took me years to realize a couple women in my life were unhealthy friends.
Thank you! I have a friend who I absolutely adore but falls under the “moral compromise” section and “disrespecting my boundaries” section even when I politely let her know. I’ve been in denial about it but she negatively consumes my headspace so thanks for the reminder girl!
Omg I was literally in the same situation and it is a mental an emotional drain , and always trying to give the benefit of the doubt for em can go but so far
I hate the word 'friend'. This word don't exist anymore for me as when I was in a very bad situation NOBODY tried to help me. They all let me down. I was always loyal, always there to help them. I give them my heart and they just broke it to pieces. I will never ever trust any friend.
Anyone who doesn't have your best interests at heart really wasn't a friend to begin with so you really didn't lose them because after all you can't lose a friend you didn't have. Everyone you lose is NOT A loss.
All of this is great advice. I had to cut out a friend of 30 years because of most of these things. It made me sad, but it was also a big weight off my shoulders. I still care about her and pray for her
The minute I said that a name came into your head... Well damn, it's the name of someone who has been my best friend for 16 years... Past couple months I felt so weird about our friendship, I just don't feel respected and valued as before. I only realized this when I met new, amazing friends in college. So much support, love and positivity. I've been distancing myself from this person for a month or two now, don't want to compete with anyone anymore. I want friends who support and empower each other, not competing and drag others down...
You are so right….I tried warning this person several times to change their behavior and said if you can’t say anything nice about another person…don’t say anything at all…this person was draining me financially, physically, and emotionally….so told her I wasn’t going to associate with her anymore…..man that was a mess! She bad mouthed me to so many people even had my son questioning why I was so mean to her! And she still plays on his sympathy and others…..taking advantage of my son because he’s such an easy mark….I haven’t defended myself to any of these people who have listened to her….either the truth will come out eventually or it won’t. I don’t owe anyone an explanation nor will I do the same that she has done by bad mouthing her to them… two wrongs don’t make a right…..anyway….it still hurts but man…. A lesson learned….
I don't know where to start. I'm an ordained pastor and when you lead service every week, the worship experience is different. I'm almost finished with my doctorate and I've been feeling disconnected from that feeling of fulfillment. So I had a conversation with God. I told him my feelings. As I was moving through the channels your channel was there. I don't think it was a coincidence. I binge watched your videos and I was in worship. I'm feeling very connected again. And we are both Pa gals too. Bonus lol. Thank you and God bless you.
I know this video is quite a few years old but I just watched it and you seriously just 100% described my "friend" and my relationship. It's been very toxic and I've been trying to figure out how to handle it or what I've done wrong. I now understand it isn't me, it's her. She is my frenemy! I am cutting her out of my life right now. Thank you
I have recently gone to college as a freshman and that was this really toxic guy who was always hurtful to me and he was in my friend group. I just now realised he is nice with everyone else but me because he is toxic and envy me when i am just living life and going after the things i want to persue. I let go of the whole group of friends since they all seem to like him and never once tried to put an end to the arguments me and this boy were constatly having because he would always try to put me down and i wouldn't let him. He never once apologized to me and he has said some really negative things. I in the other hand was dumb enough to feel guilt triped by him and apologize from the beggening. I am not much better in a group of people that love and respect me and that i love even more and respect. I feel that this lesson was something really important and i am really happy now
Now that I’m getting older my circle of friends have been dwindled down to.... big fat ZERO. Im loyal and trustworthy and would like to be around friends with same quality. I’m hoping by the time I’m in my mid 50’s I find that friend. Right I’m my best friend oh and my husband.
Omg! My mom tells me that too! "Not everyone is suppose to be your friend" Took me a while but I finally understand it too! btw I'm from Naija too!🇳🇬🇳🇬😁!
Right! So, how do you know for sure if a friend is really a friend? If they are so good at faking being a good friend to you, but you just have the feeling they are using you, How do you prove anything?
I went through a breakup a couple years ago & I told one of my “best friends” everything obviously. A few months later I ended up meeting & becoming friends with one of her friends. I started talking about my ex to this new friend and she already knew the whole breakup story... she knew everything. 🤦🏽♀️ Who runs and talks about a “bestfriends” breakup? Why?! I never confronted her about it either.. wish I did.
I have this “friend” who a few years ago went wedding ring shopping with her “bestie” who was going to get married (this “friend” was already married). Her “bestie” found her dream ring but the couple couldn’t afford it. A few months later this girl got her husband to get her that other girls dream ring. To this day she doesn’t think it was wrong. She says that she always wanted it and liked it, which wasn’t true I don’t think. If there’s something I like I also see her with it later on. I think she’s jealous and a fake. She texts me and always tries to hang out. I don’t want to blow up at her but I try to distance myself from her so bad.
I have a friend who always wants everything I have or I like. She prefers my taste to her own, she may not necessarily want an item until I choose it, she would then fight me for it. Your "friend" was very likely competing with her bestie. That's what it is, and her bestie is better off moving on.
I notice some women love to compete. I have learned that when you are being your best self it is a mirror to them. I think people feel bad about their life and when you are doing good they are thinking wow I could do better. But at the end they have to learn that we all have our own path and if they want better they have to do better. Keep letting your light shine and don't feel bad to be you and achieve greatness! Great video!! Very true!!
Dreams Are A Reality could it be that you’re an inspiration if someone is thinking they could do better when they see you’re doing good and living your best life? Someone once told me I inspired them to make a change regarding a certain area in their life. I’ve also recognized the competitive and jealous spirit of some, and they’re so silly🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️.
You young people articulate well, I love it, more than 3 people came to mind and I already treat them with a long handle once I peep them. I love how you put my feelings and actions into words and allow me to see that I am not crazy or weird because I think support and encouragement should look a certain way. Thank you young lady.
Someone who consistently blocks and/or sabotages your opportunities. balance or your safety is a frenemy. Someone who or willfully and persistently infiltrates or imposes themselves on your social circles in a bizarre way over decades is also a good indicator that you are dealing with a frenemy. Someone who finds it absolutely impossible to be authentic is always unnerving as well
Marsha Creary this is so true!! I never understood the need to become part of the new group and leave their old social circle behind?! And the part about not being authentic is right on bc it is unsettling and keeps me giving the side eye 😒
I appreciate the time and effort you have put into this video. I couldn't have said it as good. You touched upon a subject that is very close to my heart and you covered just about everything. I like that term you used to define these counterfeit friends (Frenemies). One thing I would like to also mention since you brought up the topic of people who discourage you from achieving goals is IF a friend is indeed a friend, and it is within their power to help you, with very little effort and time on their part, they flat REFUSE to do it, or worse. They tell you that they will do something to lift a finger to help you with some goal (as friends I would think that we would build each other up) and then they let you down hard and flat fail to do it, offering NO explanation or at best some platitude apology and a lame excuse. They may also constantly make themselves unavailable even AFTER they have already made a commitment to you for some thing or another. This is very true even with supposed friends whom you have known since 1st grade 30 years before. You grew up with them, knew them all your life and then one day you realize, you NEVER knew them at all. People are diabolical like that. If you do have a true friend that won't toy with your emotions like that, then you have REALLY got something there! Thanks again :)
I have a friend who is currently recieving distance instead of my wages. Distance instead of my time, distance instead of my words that go unheard. Distance instead of someone to use. And now I have the means to look after people who actually care about me, instead of whatever that was.. I may sound toxic here. I don't care at this point, I just want to work and be something. Unlike the influences I just tore out.
Don’t tell me what someone said about me. Tell me why they felt comfortable saying it in front of you.
PREACH
Right
ELEKTRA MAGNETICA Truth!
BRAVO!!!!! So so true
Well that's not fair to say that about all situations...
Also people who “jokingly “ put you down. That’s in Proverbs
Which verse was that? And that is definitely true. I've had "friends" who would do that whole "jokingly" put you down. It's a really insidious way to manipulate you.
Especially the You Think You Alllladat friend....of course it’s always said in a jokingly manner.
@@rickimcfarland2269 Yep, the hiding truth behind humor; so that if you take offense, they can excuse it with, "I was just playing."
@J OneLife females are very sneak though
Proverbs 26:18 & 19: “Like a maniac shooting
flaming arrows of death
19 is one who deceives their neighbor
and says, “I was only joking!”
🤦🏽♀️I’ve waisted so much time and energy on the wrong people
Harlequin Heart same
same here .. their intention arent right
wasted
Harlequin Heart hey I know this is late. But do you also *mistakenly* thought a group of people will not judge you and become great friends, when actually they’re fake, and the group of people you can actually trust are those from the other table you were not able to notice, until they poke you and ask you to be with them, because you were *NATURALLY* focused on that certain group?
Ong
"People who cant let you go, but cant treat you right either" i found this quote the perfect definition of toxic relationship
This is a profound statement! Am dealing with this right now!
Applies a lot to toxic family
That describes my relationship with my boyfriend to a tee. I figured it out too late. I thought he just needed unconditional love but all he did was treat me even worse.
@@soullillyquitreedog1001 aww im so sorry to hear about that :( you deserve someone who treats you well, it might be hard but stay strong
This is my situation right now.
Another is they give you unsolicited advice and try to tell you how you live your life. They try to change you because they can't accept you for who you already are!
I unfortunately am guilty of giving unsolicited advice :/ With one friend it is just an unhealthy dynamic that we have built over years. She leans on me a lot for emotional support and I enable it. I am definitely working on it.
My petpeeve and when real advise is requested they have nothing.
@@Mllascelles1 that is definitely one of mine too.
Exactly, offering you righteous unsolicited advice and then when you kindly let them know it doesn't feel good they get angry and say fine I won't say anything again or don't tell me anything anymore... then when you try to confront them and let them know what they said felt hurtful, they say I know.
I have given unsolicited advice and at the moment have been accused of trying to control the person. I gave an opinion that obviously contradicted theirs. Then time passed they did what they wanted and it backfired. If you call me your friend I’m going to give my input to help you if I see the choices you are making will hurt you in the long run. People sometimes want friends to accept the lies they tell themselves. They want an ally for their lies. I want my friends to tell me the truth even if it’ll hurt me. Now I learned people really don’t want an honest answer. I decided to let them sink and learn the hard way.
i think it’s very important to also try not to be the toxic friend too, we can be toxic without realizing, and being self aware means doing things according to our values
jackie i think sometimes in life we are the toxic friends for other people. Sometimes unintentionally but what is important is that we grow from it
I have a recurring issue like that about a neighbor. He has been nice to me and a good neighbor! Many here have a problem with the things he owns. I always say the same thing: he got what he wanted, I'm happy for him. If I want the same things he has all I have to do is work for them. I don't have the time or energy to hate him for getting some of the things that make life worth living for him.
He does not know I do this. I have never said a cross word about him. I do many others the same way. There is just one person who needs to know I do this... God.
I'm always positive about others accomplishments. Everyone has different goals. Sometimes a kind word...
True
Jackie and Rico, I know what you mean. They only seem to remember you when they want something. You have no needs. You don't want to participate. You don't want to be part of the group. You are invisible, until a need surfaces in them.
This is B.S. You are human too! I choose to not let that continue once I recognize it is happening. Forget me also when you need me, don't act like you're changing or different. Once exposed, I'm done with you. If they can't recognize your value and refuse to treat you equal, then you really don't need them in your life. It only serves to pull you down. You feel drained and exhausted after dealing with them, like someone pulled your plug. Drop them, do yourself a favor.
That’s true
Another red flag: you fall out or you're NOT friends anymore and they go telling all your personal business. I don't care if we're not friends anymore: I won't go telling your business to anybody!
Exactly! They just want your attention!
It annoys me so much when someone does this to me because I don’t do it to them
Me and my friend are still technically friends but things are not going well... but whatever happens between that person I always explaining the arguments in full detail we had with another friend.... is that bad?
This happens to me when my friends and I have a fight
Which is why I only share something that I don't care if it's repeated but if I here I know exactly WHO. I said it to
A lot of this can be applied to family too, unfortunately :(
Chu Chu yes!!
Most definately!
Exactly, run and fast
Exacty... I'm in the same boat!!!
yes sister...despite I love her...but she is so...and mother too...it's hard
I’m almost 50 y/o and I still find it such a struggle to find and maintain friendships. Many are narcissistic and have control issues.
I feel the same. Those narcissists are everywhere somehow 😔
Social media has fed these narcs, unfortunately.
BluDrop5 Yes, so true...sm has brought out the worst in people.
Hell is other people- I have always had a hard time making friends with other girls
I feel your pain. Have the same issues with those I have met.
I ended an 8 year old “friendship” like 2 or 3 weeks ago, and I can tell you I’ve never felt better
I’m on the cusp. I cant stand her constant complaining about self inflicted issues. Repetitive complaints about the SAME issues! Im a solution finder! I don’t wanna hear daily about how life is beating her down 😩
I always end things but in some way she always get keep crawling back ... It is so weird, because I think of all I did while we had no contact and then it all goes down hill... Why is it so effin hard. We live in same small town and have kids in the same school and some friends together. Shit is hard!
I ended mine today I feel empty but better
Literally same !
@@somethingbambi875 I get you, this happened for a while in my case, and we are from the same small town, but trust me, I had to cut all contact suddenly because I knew if I kept having this "merciful" attitude, I would never get rid of her, especially now that I had identified that she was the source of my lack of energy, I really needed to get on with my own life
Work hard in silence and let success make the noise! Love that!
yess all the time
True! Let your action be your voice
I agree that is the best way, but it's still unfortunate that you can't share your progress with some people who may end up being so negative or unsupportive before you even reach success.
Yes speak those facts
That's a profound statement.
"Pay attention when your friend claps when you fail"
Aude Kam they love this and they will not clap if you win.
Or they have that semi invisible Grinch smile when you speak of something bad that happened to you.
@@ninanickel3103 this is why i am not tallking to this girl anymore, i block her on instagram also , people be acting real funny without no reason . when i see her i am not going to even say nothing . i am focusing on my kids and god and family period
@J OneLife Damn! Did that happen to you!, That's heartless!
@J OneLife that's harsh. i really feel sorry for u even i don't know u.. I hope u get better everyday❤️
Another thing is when you tell a person your goals and dreams and they don’t say anything at all or just get quiet! That’s a major red flag! Also when ever you are trying to accomplish something or build a business, brand, etc., pay attention to the people who don’t support you, don’t share your stuff, or just don’t say anything about what you’re doing period. People will show you who they are, if you pay attention!
Amen. Sis so true. 💯
Girl at this point I would not tell a soul my next move. Shiiiiddd!
Latrice Skye that’s dumb af when you don’t say anything that means your listening when your hating that’s a red flag
@@DavidRenegade there's a difference between listening and just going dead silent when somebody tells you exciting news or goals. To just get silent is not a normal reaction
So true
What I've encountered more often than not is the Fake Friendships where the other person doesn't wish me harm but truly doesn't regard me as anything other than a side character. I've encouraged my friends and offered my help but that is never reciprocated.
Yes, those are very unfulfilling friendships, almost like frenemies. I am surrounded by them.
This girl would always reach out to me first to hang out, and I excepted it, but only to be so drained after our hangouts. All she does is talk about her self and I don’t think she realizes it. How could you be so self-absorbed that you don’t get tired of talking about your self for hours on end?
I had a birthday party. My "friend" had an attitude the whole time. People sang Happy birthday to me and she stood there with her arms folded. I cut her off.
Oh no smh
She kept saying she didn’t have an attitude, so who knows. I even had a coworker ask me who she was because her attitude was so bad. Understand this is the last thing in a list of things she was doing. She was doing that copy cat shit and that subliminal facebook status shit. You confront her and it’s like, no! I would never. But everyone else sees the bull.
you're not telling the whole story, what actually happened. This sounds like there was some past incident of you flirting with her man / husband or trying to take him or purposely dressing sexy in front of him. Why would she not participate unless there's something you've done. Just based on the comment, you seem very shady 👀
Taneka, why would you say that she seems nice....you can tell by her pic
Taneka Roberts you’re assuming too much😭
I dislike being friends with people who talk shit about others without knowing their stories. I choose my friends wisely, not because the person laugh at your jokes is a friend.
True true
Omg I agree
Yes. This I know very well now
Rina Querida
EXACLY. my ex friend always judged and insulted people on appearance or just bc they did one annoying thing, he would backtalk people and it made me so sad, he bullied a kid in my class til he switched schools....
This!!!
“Anyone who turns into a beat box when you say what your goals are...” So true. 😂
She was brilliant saying that 😂
Kytia L'amour FACTS
That is hilarious. And true.
That one had me...😁😁
Kytia L'amour 😆😆😆😆 I love it! Anyone who turns into a beatbox 😆😆
I realized that I can't make a person who doesn't want to be my friend be a better friend.
Preach!!!!!
Woooow a wordddddd
Yes.
I wonder why i think that can even happen!!! Anyone who turns into a beep box when you share your goals. I love that and I KNOW someone who does that.
Exactly! 💯👍🏾💯
Someone once told me this and it helps me everytime I'm confused about someone in my life... it's all about how someone makes you FEEL when you're around them. If you feel nervous and on edge, there's something not right in the friendship. If you feel chilled and warm and yourself completely, they're your true friend 😊🙌
I have social anxiety tho .-.
I so agree with this a friendship should raise your self esteem and you should feel better after spending time with them not neglected
👏👏
I needed to read this! Thank you so much :)
Some friends make you feel comfortable, but you feel relieved when you are on your way home. That gut feeling of relieve is what tells you that that person is toxic.
"You dont need to share everything with everyone"tottaly agree😉
I have a ''friend'' who is a Narcissist. She would always over talk me while I was talking, always switched the topics abruptly if it was something she didn't want to talk about, She would down play me and try to make me feel less than and that she was superior over me. When I got engaged she became so jealous and envious to the point she started wearing random rings on her ring finger even though she is not engaged in hopes of stealing my joy. I had to cut her off and keep my distance from her. She is not walking in the holy spirit.
... woah
Ew, she sounds nasty
sounds like my ex-mil without the ring scenario.
I learned a supposed 'friend' of mine was a narcissist and a liar after she got divorced. It's like I suddenly became the competition. Everything I confided in her about over the years became her ammo. Including confiding in her about a guy that I was just head over heels for, making progress with getting to know him....he was interested, then envy got the best of her and she pounced on him...like a cougar. She deniedher actions even when caught and would just revel in delight at my frustration. Cut 'em both out of my life. I wont date a guy that dont know what he wants & finds it okay to go after girls in same friend group... don't know what he was thinkin' but it ain't happening
Logical Lily men who date in the same friend group are disgusting honestly. They want a audience full of resentment when dating an ex girlfriend’s friend (think
about it ; no matter how hot the guy would you take your ex’s friend seriously 😒) they want to feel like John out of John Tucker Must Die.
AbsoluteMdot I just got out this situation
As we grow older our friend circle will get smaller.Only our true friends will stay.
Mily Torres that's very true. It's what I'm going through right now
Well i guess ive never had a true friend.
Sooo true
Idk
Yep 👍🏽 Even if some toxic people still see me as a friend & try to be in my life. I wouldn’t let them back in I’m doing now without them
I had a childhood friendship that carried over into adulthood. We were friends for 40 years. She was not financially secure, so I would take her places all the time. I didn't mind because I loved her and wanted her company. She would say negative things about men I dated, cars I drove, the new home I bought, but I just thought she was a bit jealous. When I moved out of state, she didn't want to talk to me anymore, just cut me off like I never existed. Then I realized that she had been using me for many years and was never a real friend.
Oh no, that's really horrible. 40 Years!!! You are a very good friend and I hope you've found better friends since then. I hope she learns how cruel and ungrateful she was. These types of people always learn a lesson in life after being so selfish.
Correction... You knew someone since childhood. Not a childhood friend. Same thing happened with me, and I realized we just knew each other for a long time..and for me, too damn long. Cut them off and never looked back. I met a wonderful person during that time and we have an amazing relationship.
My guess is that deep down you knew, but waited to see "proof".
I wanted to respond to Mar's comment about knowing someone from childhood and not actually losing a childhood friend. I was betrayed by a relative a few years back, and when I look back now, I feel convinced that there was no time she loved me. I play back past conversations, from the years when I thought she was my close companion, and I hear envy loud and clear, I hear that my husband loves me more than I deserve to be loved and I am happier than I deserve to be. At the end of the day, we don't really lose friends, we just finally wake up and realize that the enemies who disguise as friends have never really been our friends.
cindy pattana ask for your money back or force her to pay it back to you.
When a friend talks shit about your common friends it's a huge red flag too. If she/he backfires others to you she/he'll do the other way around to you.
Here’s what I’ve learned. Don’t ignore the early red flags. When someone shows you who they are believe them. Simple as that! If they treat other people badly it’s just a matter of time before they have you in their sights.
Competing is a NO NO! Having people like that in your life can be so exhausting! I can relate to slowly gradually distancing myself.
1) competitive ( buys what you buys, tries to one up you, flirts or makes a pass at your SO) jealous when you get a new car, house, jewelry etc...
2) doesn’t invite you to GNO, parties, outings, concerts bc you outshine them
3) not supportive of you during a major problem, major illness, divorce, etc.
4) forgets important dates ie your birthday, cancels, etc
5) spreads your business
6) only calls when in the car, waiting in line, bored, hangs up immediately when someone else calls, calls infrequently just out of curiosity not really caring or involved. Curiosity is just nosiness. Nosy competitive people suck.
Don’t fall for big fake smile, hug and the high pitched voice. Fake fake fake
#FACTS!! LOL
Perfectly describes someone that I had to cut off.
ELEKTRA MAGNETICA so trueeeee 👏🏻
Yes! To all of it!!!
No.2 for me.Not invited to certain gatherings that have “VIP” people.&then get told about it days later,but I just keep my mouth shut because clearly I shine to bright.
I love it when your Nigerian accent comes thru 😃.
It's hard to understand at times, but I appreciate the little comedic relief lol
Ahhh..no wonder she is so beautiful.
“It CAUNT happen” lmao! Love it
It's scary
Oh she's Nigerian nice
"Anyone who turns into a beat box when you talk about your goals is not a true friend" Loved it!
Your so right on.Very wise.
I had a friend who had me take her to Sephora to buy every single makeup product that I use on my face and she ended up buying the same swimsuit I bought. I was flattered and thought nothing of it. A couple years later, she got married and we both got pregnant around the same time. She competed and compared during our pregnancies and even asked me how much my son’s crib and dresser costed us. I told her that it didn’t matter. She has followed me to two CNA jobs and we currently work together. I recently got engaged and she said “congratulations” and then immediately talked about how she spent 10k on her wedding and talked about how her food was $11 a plate. I didn’t ask for any of this info. My fiancé and I also bought a house and all she could suddenly talk about was how SHE was saving for a house. She then asked me where my engagement ring was from and said it was “similar” to hers. They are nothing alike. She then trashed me at work to anyone who would listen about how I “copied” her engagement ring when it looks nothing like hers and I didn’t pick out my ring. She picked out her ring and has been married for years. She told everyone how I only got pregnant in order to copy her and how I copied all her baby toys because they are so “similar”. Our baby boys are 2 months apart... toys will be similar. I have the same swing from Walmart because it was all they had. After this, I just confronted her at the end of a shift and she denied saying anything despite over 5 people mentioning how she was downright trashing me at work. As soon as I mentioned “competition” and “jealousy”, she shook her head and stomped away like a child. She was so upset from being called out that she almost ran over someone in the parking lot and a there is an ongoing investigation. Stay away from competitive and envious people - they are dangerous.
Sounds like my cousin I grew up with. In highschool she said I copied her style. After we became distant I thought it through and realized she was the one copying my style...from wearing jeans and tshirt from Walmart to wearing baggy tshirt and sweat pants. I keep changing my style everytime she started wearing like me lol I dislike competitive people like her. Yes they always talk about them self most of the time.
girl i had to put your comment into a text to voice generator cause i suck at reading long passages but damn shes weird asf!!!
@@MaiXoxo3 cousins are frenemies that are harder to get rid of. Do you have to put with her at family functions still ? because i imagine you share the same set of grand parents .
This is so low. You can’t go any lower.
I have an aunt like this and also had friends like this. They really are terrible people who always want you to be below them. You hit the nail on the head; stay away at all costs. They will destroy your life.
You can actually cut people off without necessarily having bad blood. Sometimes you gotta protect your peace. When you see them keep it cordial and keep it moving. Real friends are very rare to find but again putting your trust on humans fully is your biggest downfall, put your trust instead on God and regardless of whether you have friends or not, you will still be ok.
"People don't talk about my friends to me" The truth periodt!
I found people who are always positive to be an issue as well, they never let you have a down day without making you feel uncomfortable about it.
@Doubleshot thank you for your reply, that resonates very very true in my experiences as well. Even though it's late in my life, I am learning to be comfortable with my own range of emotions and be around people who allow me to be me. ❤️
Omg yess!!! It can be so draining being around a battery operated happy person.
preach! like it''s your job to be bubbly and happy all the time and when you aren't one day, they give you grief for it. We're human and sometimes something can get us down.
They could also just be treating you that way. For example, I knew someone who seemed that way and if you complained about something (even a little thing) they would be real quiet and put up an upbeat attitude. Then, I overheard them talking to someone else and they were like a totally different person, gossiping, complaining, and everything. So maybe those people you are referring to are just scared to admit when they have down days to certain people. However, they want you to see them in a certain light.
Yessssss I hate fake positive ppl
It has taken me a very long time to realize many of these things. The biggest red flag I ignored for the longest time was the friend not being happy for my successes or accomplishments. I got the chance to move away to a state that I'd wanted to live in for quite some time, and rather than be excited or happy for me, the friend became very cold and distant when I told them and were that way whenever the subject was brought up. Anytime something bad happened, they always wanted the "tea," but whenever something great happened, they were either silent and changed the subject or just visibly irritated/jealous. That is NOT healthy for a friendship.
WHY! WHY! WHY! is it soooooo hard to find a true (GENUINE ) friend, people are always lying even for no reason, trying to hurt you, even damage your property, now I don't go out much unless to buy food, this world feel like a prison, I don't I can take it any more, I keep crying every single day, there's no one to take to, people do not actually listen to each other, I was born in the wrong world, people are mean. Thank you for your advice though
Sacha P Yea I get that, that’s why I only have like 9 friends lol... Good people are out there, you just gotta keep looking
If you believe in prayer, ask God to attract genuine people into your life. Also you must be a true genuine friend as well. When you buy food, smile :), compliment someone and strike up a conversation. Don't give up but don't be desperate, just be a light in this dark world. Blessings to you!
@@p-atches I guarantee you not all of them are friends. We are lucky in this life to have 2 good decent true friends.
I would add that showing how independent you are to others (not needy) and slowly cultivating a relationship into a possible friendship is a good way to go. That way, you don't scare them into thinking that being your friend will be draining for them. I had a friend like that. Very nice but so needy and taxing with their constant problems. I finally had to drop them. Also, some people don't like the idea of letting someone down before the friendship even began because they can't help them. Lastly, keep in mind that most really close true genuine friendships is a result of years of relationship building and going through many experiences together. If you are trying to make new friends, that takes a lot time and patience and you may have to settle having casual friends to talk to once in a while and go from there.
Sacha P most people on her speaking positive about how they were good genuine friends still are, why not befriend one of them. Just a word of thought
Yea don't tell ANYONE your next move! Jus do it like Nike said! 💯💯
smart, coz then they can't try talking you out of it. Think some are afraid if you succeed, you won't be close to them anymore.
That's what I'm doing...
Yep. Don't even tell my mother and she is basically the only family I have.
When they are constantly busy everytime you reach out to them and only will call you when they need money.
Hell no
Yaaaaaas
Or about their DRAMA!!!! yes
Or only warning you to do something for them. Going to everybody else baby shower but didn’t come to mine.
I was not happy with myself and it eventually bubbled out into my friendships. God is still working in my life so I know how to build better habits. I am glad to know that I am going to be a better friend to the ones I still have.
Love your honesty it's so beautiful.
Good for you. And you’re brave to be able to be that honest with yourself. So many people would never do what you are doing.
People can be fake supportive to hide their jealousy or to simply keep a "front row" ticket to you..bye bye 🥾✌ Great video!
I feel like they can't really hide their jealousy well lol
@@MaiXoxo3 I heard this somewhere.. no matter how much someone tries to hide it, it’s like a pregnancy. Eventually, it shows.
(I believe Nino Brown said it if I’m not mistaken)
@@ingridmccray7915 yeah...also the saying action speaks louder than words. One of my friend I thought was nice and supportive (in person and via messenger)...but I realized she never likes any of my posts unless I tagged her. For example we both like taking pictures and I feel she wants more likes than me. So she'd never like my picture posts that way I'm one less point away than her 😂 I'm always liking her picture posts...until recently I stopped and she messaged me to see how I'm doing. She also finally liked one of my post...now I know she is jealous but wants to know what I'm up to 😂 I'm now silently working on myself.
@@MaiXoxo3 Absolutely! It can be hard to believe it when you see it. It’s surprising how people will go far in the most trivial ways to “outshine” you. As long as you know the motive on why they do it, it’s easier to digest and it will blow off you. I had a “friend” that would check in to see how I was doing and asked what I was up to and she was really being competitive to see how she could stay ahead of me, so I became very vague and gave her nothing about my day. I kept conversations neutral until she fizzled out which was what I wanted. I’m so glad you recognized it for what it was. Having someone near you with that vibe is dangerous, annoying, and bad for your personal energy when you’re not on that low frequency. I’m glad you move I’m silence. Especially with your goals, feelings, etc, anything that’s close to your heart.
@@ingridmccray7915 Thankyou for your kind words. I've been through a lot of pains in the past that now I've become immune to toxic people 😂 they think they can hurt me but I'm not even hurting no more...I just don't want to deal with their toxic behavior. I think it's best to keep a low profile...so toxic people don't know what you are up to because if they did...they would do everything in their power to belittle or bring you down. The top can be lonely at times but at least you will be more at peace 🕊️
Heard a great quote today, “life is to short for me to wait for you to act right.” I met a lady in my apartment building I thought I could be friends with, hung out with her twice. All she did was talk about herself, try to “up” everything I said and basically was annoying. I cut her off immediately, I don’t have time for people like that!! She still texts but I don’t respond for a few days, due to this she text less now. Girl Bye 👋🏽
I understand the concept of the "slow phase out" but for alot of people it just doesn't work. I'm a very nice person who is easily taken advantage of and these toxic people know how to weasle their way back in and guilt you and make you doubt yourself and your feelings about them. At 28 years old I've FINALLY found the courage to cut off, ctrl alt delete my frenemy out of my life 😂
😂😂😂ctrl alt delete got me dying
Jaime Brown 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
At 26 I'm still dealing with toxic friends still. I'm a nice person most of the time but sometimes I'm asshole and tell these people to f off.
For real! I always try to slowly get out, my excuse is I’m always working and always tired. Lol!!! It always works!
Nope some manipulative people you got to cut them out pre they will pop back up because they didn't get the hint
I've met many people and I have a lot of acquaintances, but very few friends.. True friends are a rare treasure, acquaintances a dime a dozen.. The world is full of apathetic individuals. We need to start teaching our children to have more compassion and empathy. Narcissism is becoming the norm, unfortunately.. Thank you for the video and many blessings to you and your loved ones..
Mrs Rebecca Brown me too. Since I lost my husband and soulmate over 4 years ago, my life seems full of acquaintances, frenemies, narcissists and people who seem to only want to be in my company because they have a ‘favour’ to ask of me.
I ended a 7 year friendship due to how she made me feel about myself.
It wasnt until my divorce that I noticed how bad it really was.
I started to work on my self esteem and building up my self worth, and she slowly started ghosting me. When she felt like hanging around or talking is was always because she wanted to vent about her men situation. She constantly picked jokes about my weight and joked about me being loose... and it hurt. Even after going to therapy for self harm thoughts and her knowing she never let up. She was telling people my personal business...strangers would say things only she would know...and when I confronted her she played it off like I was being overly sensitive. A week before Christmas I went off. She hurt me for the last time. We had been talking about past relationships and I brought up how badly my past relationship hurt me, and she laughed. She somehow thought it was funny...i blew up and told her it wasnt funny to me and she wasnt a true friend to be treating me thats way. I ended it and feel better ever since. But it is hard letting people go after 7 years.
Elaine Brown i ended a 20 year friendship last year. Hardest and best decision I’ve ever made. You definitely don’t need someone like that in your life and a few months from now it will be fine and you will be bright!
It hurts being time was wasted. Because you did not let someone go for 7 years.. they weren't there fo you to let them go you know? I do not even know you but I'm happy you let that toxic person out your life.
Slow clap....good job, girl.
Wow I share the same experience except I was mostly the one that spent or handled the bills where ever we went out. I tolerated her bitchy narssistic ass for 7yrs. Now I've made a new friend I really hope it works out cos I really love her.
I applaud your courage to walk away from a toxic friendship. When people show you who they are, believe them, no matter how unbelievable the situation or incident might be. May you find plenty of supportive, loyal, loving friends for a lifetime. God bless you.
I got married, and “my friend” came to visit from out of state, she saw my ring she said” I have a friend who has a bigger ring”. I absolutely love my ring. I’m like ok; While she is sitting across from me with no ring and no man🤦🏼♀️. Strike #1. Strike #2 I picked her up in my new Porche and she didn’t say a word, not that I needed her to compliment my car, only for her to say 2 months later my car is her dream car. strike #3 She complimented my home by accident. I was taking her around my community to show her different model homes, we stopped at the corner and she said “I loooovveeeee that house”. I said, “that’s our house” and she got quite and didn’t say a word. I realize she wasn’t kidding me when she said she was jealous of me at dinner. I didn’t know what to say when she said she was jealous of me. I cut her out my life for good. I never had a problem giving my friends encouragement or compliments from looking good to doing good. Their is room for everyone at the top. Being a bitter Betty is not a good look. It took me a few months, but I had to let her go. We were fine until I got married and things were going well for me.
Thanks for sharing practical examples/life experience! ✨
That's good you cut her off. Once you are married she will be even more jealous like my ex-friend and want to sabotage your relationship.
Similar situation it’s crazy
Definitely can relate
Friend enemy ran into me at the store I told her I got married 12 years ago she looked at my hand I don’t see a ring l told her I don’t wear one because of my line of work l keep my hands in chemicals she knows my line of work she didn’t say congratulations or nothing she always running me down whenever we run into each other somewhere I try not to run into her sometimes it happens she ain’t change I can see it
I think we need more content like this about the significance that friendship plays in our lives. Some frienemies are more psychologically damaging than romantic relationships
💯
"Work in silence and let success make the noise ". I love it. Such a wise, beautiful young lady. May all your friends be mentors and blessings to assist you in all of your endeavors. 😇
I just cut out a huuuge frenemie and all the signs pointed to our friendship being fickle from the beginning. I confronted her and she got upset and blocked me. But it’s great to now be living worry and judgment free
you did good , all you can do is pray for her in distance that all
Quxxn M Same. It's been 6 years since I cut her ass off, and I havent looked back. It took me 17 years to realize she didnt like me. Covert narc.
Frenemies is all I know
I call some relationships "Pretendships." Another friend of mine uses the relationship "Friendshift" where the relationship has changed and you are going in different directions. Unfortunately, if you don't talk about it, and you let it drag on, it can become very toxic and suddenly you are fighting about and ending the relationship because of something it wasn't about in the first place. Festering resentment is the ultimate poison in any relationship.
I like that pretendship
I actually like that phrase.
Damn, as a woman who kinda lived in her head all her life and never had a group of female friends to help navigate these scenarios, this was very eye opening. Thank you.
When they moan on and on about their other friends, going on about how they hurt them, their faults, telling you private things, etc. They will do the same about you to others. Also, racist comments which they think is funny, especially when it’s directed at you! 💔
It’s sad I live with a friend like this right now. She invited ME into her home but continues to do all of these things sometimes deliberately and/or subliminally. It’s a manipulation of the mind. Acting like she’s helping & still disrespecting you in many ways. Even when I talk about getting my own place, she acts weird. After I leave, I plan on letting her go. It’s sad but I feel it deep down in my heart that I cannot stay friends with this type of person.
Your right I'm going through the same thing only it's a relatives girlfriend. God will help trust him.
Jazmine omgggg
I hope you can move soon. I had a toxic friend who I paid a large amount of money each month. I had no where whilst I sorted out my mothers Probate. Her house smelled, she did not clean up was an alcoholic and slept around. I had live with her to find out how low down she is. Even now after moving she is sneakly trying to find out my business. God will deal with your enemies.
The fade away is therapuetic almost; it's like weening yourself off of that toxicity so you don't go back or wear an ambience that attracts more toxic entities or become toxic. Thank you 🙏
Sis... all the people I expected to clap when I started winning at this or that, we're really not. That was sad to realize how fake of a friend basically my whole circle was... It was one thing not being there for me when I was down, but not being able to be happy for my success... why do I even have a relationship with you?
thatdudeoh7 right
Girl they are not even your real friends!!!
Free yourself and you will feel better
A Friend is always there when you need them
A friend is someone, who doesn’t stress you out and puts their stress on you.
A friend doesn’t tell you what to do.
Unfortunately I have family like this
Me too. 😞
Me too....ure not alone 🙂
Me too
Me too
SingPray Luv. уєαн, му σиℓу ¢нιℓ∂ ιѕ. ѕσ ѕα∂. єνєяутιмє ι мαкє муѕєℓf нαρρу, ѕнє ιѕ ∂σωи αи∂ ℓσσкѕ αωαу. ѕнє ωαитѕ мє тσ иσтι¢є нσω ѕнє мαкєѕ мє fєєℓ αвσυт нєя fєєℓιиgѕ αвσυт ιт. ѕнє ιѕ 31 ω 3 кι∂ѕ αи∂ ρяι∂єѕ нєяѕєℓf σи ѕнσωιиg тнє fαтнєя тнαт ѕнє ¢αи ∂σ ιт ω/σ нιм. вυт υѕє∂ му мσиєу тσ мαкє тнαт ραят ρσѕѕιвℓє. ωєℓℓ ιтѕ вєєи σνєя 10уяѕ αи∂ ιм тιяє∂ σf тнє ¢нιℓ∂ ѕυρρσят тσ нєя нσυѕєнσℓ∂. иσω єνєяутнιиg ι ρυя¢нαѕє ѕнє ∂σєѕит ѕєєм тσ вє тнαт нαρρу fσя мє. иσω ι ¢αи ¢αяєℓєѕѕ ιf ѕнє νιѕιтѕ. ιтѕ ∂єρяєѕѕιиg. αт тнιѕ ρσιит, ι яєαℓℓу ∂σит ¢αяє тσ вє ¢ℓσѕє тσ αиуσиє. 💵
Yes! I totally agree with the fake friends who won’t defend you when people are saying bad things behind your back. There was someone I worked with who would always tell me about how one person was badmouthing me to her. She’d then tell me not to say anything. It really passed me off & I finally told her that the fact that this person felt comfortable enough to badmouth me to her, that meant they knew she wouldn’t stand up for me. I told her that people could NEVER badmouth her to me because they knew I would get them all the way together. One day she told me how her boyfriend dragged her kids & she didn’t defend them. That put it all into perspective for me! If she wouldn’t even defend her own kids, why should I think she would have my back???? Ever since, I’ve kept her at safe distance.
I passed my exams(really major), told my bestie about it. She said "ok". Literally. That's all I got after an entire year of work on one exam. An "ok" from my best friend.
Messi Comps fuck them yo
Congratulations! 👏👏👏💪👍
happy for you , prayers with you on your new life
That hurts!!
Been there!!! It hurt my feelings but also finally opened my eyes.
My own mother is on the list, sadly.
I'm sorry to hear that. Hope you're feeling better.
Omg Im so sorry 😢 what does she do if it’s ok to ask?☹️
I've been there. The worst type of pain and betrayal.
Mine too
.. i totally get u
This video is fantastic. I recently had a childhood “frenemy” try to come back into my life. They displayed so many of the frenemy traits you’re describing here. Unbelievably, they can’t understand why I have zero desire to rekindle the connection. My enemy had an unloaded gun pointed at my heart, and they gave him the bullet. It puzzles me that they would even consider making the attempt. But I hit the block button on my phone and email so I don’t have to deal with the excuses anymore. I forgive all, but I’ll never forget what was done. Onward!
A frenemy will ALWAYS try to sabotage you and gloat when things don't work out for you.
Absolutely!!! Been there.
Your makeup is beautiful 💄
Sinatra M Beautiful lady 😊
Sinatra M SHE is beautiful
Riiiight i love it
I learned a lot from listening to this. It really resonated with me. We should also be mindful and reflect on ourselves as well. Making sure we are not creating toxicity in our friendships is so important.
Yeah im very nice to a fail but I'm also a worst case scenario negative Nancy
True im nice to a fault but I'm also a worst case scenario negative Nancy
Yessss
This made me not feel alone.
that makes me so happy I could cry
When I apply all these criteria I’m left with 0 ‘friends’ 🤣 The bit about constant competition really rang home. This is what all my ‘friendships’ seem to lead to...
I don't think you understand how much your channel truly is a Ministry. I am going through a season where I sometimes can't make heads or tails of my own life and it feels like everything is falling apart. I have never felt so alone ever in my life, and it feels like every time I think I'm about to find friends or mentors I get stabbed in the back. This video is right on time, and I'm not trying to be creepy and I know I don't know you, but the get ready with me chats and girl talks really minister to me because the community you've built helps me not feel so alone. Thank you for pushing beyond all the people who discouraged you to keep this channel up. It's truly a life saver.
Jene Saisquoi He will never leave nor fore sake you *hugs*
Aww, thank you so much! I have been there. Be strong and know that He is in control!
Thank you so much, I needed that
This little video was right on time. I'm mostly an introvert and usually not very social but the last two years i've been trying to meet and get to know new people and form some sisterhoods and it always seem to blow up in my face. I think Ima just go back to my bubble... Where its safe... lol
Keep trying!
Ditto.
TysVideoDiaries same sis same!
Yeah, I've been trying to make new friends and I just keep attracting toxic friend after toxic friend. I just stay to myself...
I am a introvert too. I only deal with family and that's Thanksgiving and maybe one or two other times. Most people get on my nerves. So I'm a loner and perfectly happy. I am a widow and my brain thinks I'm still young but I'm near sixty. But my grey tells a different story. I have one relative that calls 4 or 5 times a week we disagree on everything. I stay in the Bible cause I don't go to church. Mostly because my left foot is swoll and I have to wear compression socks. I do have 2 friends in GA. Angie and Barbara. And when I get over the death of my daughter, who died in April. I will get back on Facebook. In maybe about a year or three. Right now it's too hard. The LORD knows me and I just can't confirm to the world. So I keep it out. The LORD comforts me like nothing can and I have peace in my little sanctuary I call home. My only vice is shopping and the many, many purses I collect. Being alone, I'm good. But I wouldn't mind someone who likes drive me to my shopping trips. But then I would be using them. Unless they like shopping trips too.
My friend of 10 years stab me in the back four times in the last six months and I’ve been on the fence whether I should end that friendship because I’ve known her for so long. And all the things that you discussed in your video at least five of them lined up with how our friendship is. You are a godsend and this is exactly what I needed to hear to make a decision. Thank you.
Sage advice. It's even sadder when old friends become frenemies.
Thanks so much for this video. Even at 27, I need to hear these for myself as well to be a better friend. I definitely have been trying to discern good potential friends from bad ones. It took me years to realize a couple women in my life were unhealthy friends.
Look for these same signs in family members. Mines have been my biggest haters!
you are not alone Stephanie...mine too
Me too
Thank you! I have a friend who I absolutely adore but falls under the “moral compromise” section and “disrespecting my boundaries” section even when I politely let her know. I’ve been in denial about it but she negatively consumes my headspace so thanks for the reminder girl!
Omg I was literally in the same situation and it is a mental an emotional drain , and always trying to give the benefit of the doubt for em can go but so far
I felt all this ! And when you stop dealing with them they try to flip it on you calling you fake 👋🏾😌 like girl stop 🛑
I hate the word 'friend'. This word don't exist anymore for me as when I was in a very bad situation NOBODY tried to help me. They all let me down. I was always loyal, always there to help them. I give them my heart and they just broke it to pieces. I will never ever trust any friend.
Anyone who doesn't have your best interests at heart really wasn't a friend to begin with so you really didn't lose them because after all you can't lose a friend you didn't have. Everyone you lose is NOT A loss.
Your redflags are on point👍👌 God bless you and grant you more wisdom
All of this is great advice. I had to cut out a friend of 30 years because of most of these things. It made me sad, but it was also a big weight off my shoulders. I still care about her and pray for her
I just did the same thing. I was always her friend, but she was never mine! I feel as if a weight has been lifted.
Stop praying for her, you’re delaying her karma. Without karma most people don’t learn.
The minute I said that a name came into your head... Well damn, it's the name of someone who has been my best friend for 16 years... Past couple months I felt so weird about our friendship, I just don't feel respected and valued as before. I only realized this when I met new, amazing friends in college. So much support, love and positivity. I've been distancing myself from this person for a month or two now, don't want to compete with anyone anymore. I want friends who support and empower each other, not competing and drag others down...
They call you negative when you complain about your problems but you can sit and listen to their problems
You are so right….I tried warning this person several times to change their behavior and said if you can’t say anything nice about another person…don’t say anything at all…this person was draining me financially, physically, and emotionally….so told her I wasn’t going to associate with her anymore…..man that was a mess! She bad mouthed me to so many people even had my son questioning why I was so mean to her! And she still plays on his sympathy and others…..taking advantage of my son because he’s such an easy mark….I haven’t defended myself to any of these people who have listened to her….either the truth will come out eventually or it won’t. I don’t owe anyone an explanation nor will I do the same that she has done by bad mouthing her to them… two wrongs don’t make a right…..anyway….it still hurts but man…. A lesson learned….
This video couldn't have come at a more important time of my life, bless your heart...
Loving the switches between the two accents 😍😂
I don't know where to start. I'm an ordained pastor and when you lead service every week, the worship experience is different. I'm almost finished with my doctorate and I've been feeling disconnected from that feeling of fulfillment. So I had a conversation with God. I told him my feelings. As I was moving through the channels your channel was there. I don't think it was a coincidence. I binge watched your videos and I was in worship. I'm feeling very connected again. And we are both Pa gals too. Bonus lol. Thank you and God bless you.
thank you so much for you words of encouragement! they mean a lot :)
I know this video is quite a few years old but I just watched it and you seriously just 100% described my "friend" and my relationship. It's been very toxic and I've been trying to figure out how to handle it or what I've done wrong. I now understand it isn't me, it's her. She is my frenemy! I am cutting her out of my life right now. Thank you
I have recently gone to college as a freshman and that was this really toxic guy who was always hurtful to me and he was in my friend group. I just now realised he is nice with everyone else but me because he is toxic and envy me when i am just living life and going after the things i want to persue. I let go of the whole group of friends since they all seem to like him and never once tried to put an end to the arguments me and this boy were constatly having because he would always try to put me down and i wouldn't let him. He never once apologized to me and he has said some really negative things. I in the other hand was dumb enough to feel guilt triped by him and apologize from the beggening. I am not much better in a group of people that love and respect me and that i love even more and respect. I feel that this lesson was something really important and i am really happy now
My ex was a frennemy, everything competition with the guy, and jelous/envious too.
Gaya A mines too
*jealous.
Now that I’m getting older my circle of friends have been dwindled down to.... big fat ZERO. Im loyal and trustworthy and would like to be around friends with same quality. I’m hoping by the time I’m in my mid 50’s I find that friend. Right I’m my best friend oh and my husband.
I hate that I feel like I just realized that all my friends are toxic..
Loyalty is something to never take for granted..never settle for less then what u give
Omg! My mom tells me that too! "Not everyone is suppose to be your friend" Took me a while but I finally understand it too! btw I'm from Naija too!🇳🇬🇳🇬😁!
Me too I love how she switches to her Nigerian accent
But for everyone toxic people can be supportive and loyal all that stuff and still be toxic
That is called intermittent reinforcement.
That's not support, that's control.
That's a covert narcissist.
Right! So, how do you know for sure if a friend is really a friend? If they are so good at faking being a good friend to you, but you just have the feeling they are using you, How do you prove anything?
Jenn Truong i guess just time can tell :(
I went through a breakup a couple years ago & I told one of my “best friends” everything obviously. A few months later I ended up meeting & becoming friends with one of her friends. I started talking about my ex to this new friend and she already knew the whole breakup story... she knew everything. 🤦🏽♀️ Who runs and talks about a “bestfriends” breakup? Why?! I never confronted her about it either.. wish I did.
that is INSANE! I am so sorry that happened
I have this “friend” who a few years ago went wedding ring shopping with her “bestie” who was going to get married (this “friend” was already married). Her “bestie” found her dream ring but the couple couldn’t afford it. A few months later this girl got her husband to get her that other girls dream ring. To this day she doesn’t think it was wrong. She says that she always wanted it and liked it, which wasn’t true I don’t think. If there’s something I like I also see her with it later on. I think she’s jealous and a fake. She texts me and always tries to hang out. I don’t want to blow up at her but I try to distance myself from her so bad.
I have a friend who always wants everything I have or I like. She prefers my taste to her own, she may not necessarily want an item until I choose it, she would then fight me for it. Your "friend" was very likely competing with her bestie. That's what it is, and her bestie is better off moving on.
PSA: This Also goes for Family.
I notice some women love to compete. I have learned that when you are being your best self it is a mirror to them. I think people feel bad about their life and when you are doing good they are thinking wow I could do better. But at the end they have to learn that we all have our own path and if they want better they have to do better. Keep letting your light shine and don't feel bad to be you and achieve greatness! Great video!! Very true!!
Dreams Are A Reality could it be that you’re an inspiration if someone is thinking they could do better when they see you’re doing good and living your best life? Someone once told me I inspired them to make a change regarding a certain area in their life. I’ve also recognized the competitive and jealous spirit of some, and they’re so silly🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️.
You young people articulate well, I love it, more than 3 people came to mind and I already treat them with a long handle once I peep them. I love how you put my feelings and actions into words and allow me to see that I am not crazy or weird because I think support and encouragement should look a certain way. Thank you young lady.
Someone who consistently blocks and/or sabotages your opportunities. balance or your safety is a frenemy. Someone who or willfully and persistently infiltrates or imposes themselves on your social circles in a bizarre way over decades is also a good indicator that you are dealing with a frenemy. Someone who finds it absolutely impossible to be authentic is always unnerving as well
Marsha Creary this is so true!! I never understood the need to become part of the new group and leave their old social circle behind?! And the part about not being authentic is right on bc it is unsettling and keeps me giving the side eye 😒
Anyone who turns into a beatbox one of the funniest thing I’ve ever heard 😂😂😂😂😂 I laughed hard
btc101 _ Lol yes hecka funny 😄
I appreciate the time and effort you have put into this video. I couldn't have said it as good. You touched upon a subject that is very close to my heart and you covered just about everything. I like that term you used to define these counterfeit friends (Frenemies). One thing I would like to also mention since you brought up the topic of people who discourage you from achieving goals is IF a friend is indeed a friend, and it is within their power to help you, with very little effort and time on their part, they flat REFUSE to do it, or worse. They tell you that they will do something to lift a finger to help you with some goal (as friends I would think that we would build each other up) and then they let you down hard and flat fail to do it, offering NO explanation or at best some platitude apology and a lame excuse. They may also constantly make themselves unavailable even AFTER they have already made a commitment to you for some thing or another. This is very true even with supposed friends whom you have known since 1st grade 30 years before. You grew up with them, knew them all your life and then one day you realize, you NEVER knew them at all. People are diabolical like that. If you do have a true friend that won't toy with your emotions like that, then you have REALLY got something there! Thanks again :)
I have a friend who is currently recieving distance instead of my wages. Distance instead of my time, distance instead of my words that go unheard. Distance instead of someone to use. And now I have the means to look after people who actually care about me, instead of whatever that was.. I may sound toxic here. I don't care at this point, I just want to work and be something. Unlike the influences I just tore out.