Im 50 and i relate to Katie so much. My purpose has always been taking care of my husband and children. Im divorced now and an empty nester. Thank you for sharing Darling. We'll be okay. If you ever want to reach out to another 50 year old woman, please do.
Isn’t it so common to see our identity through what we do rather than who we are. It’s like we think looking after kids, being a good wife and person is who we are. It’s not. Who we are we’ve lost sight of, this is what she and all of us is looking for.
I think when you do something for so long its very difficult to adjust when that changes, you can become a little lost. But things will get better and you'll find a new purpose. I also think the anxiety she felt isnt that unusual dont we all have those things throughout our lives? Obvioulsy some suffer more than others. Don't feel alone becaue you are not.
My heart goes out to Katie and hopefully Alex will be able to help her. By allowing us to follow her she is also helping me (and others like me) more than she could ever know. For that, I am truly grateful to both of them. I wish Katie well on her journey, as I do all the participants.
If you take a minute to think deeply about the huge, daily, Herculean effort of raising four children, all of the housework and planning and love and help and meals and laundry and shopping and school support, that in itself constitutes an enormous life accomplishment. Bravo Katie! You are already a hero! 🙏🏻💕
I know exactly that feeling ..my childhood was traumatic. I have struggled all my life with anxiety, bouts of depression. Never liked myself. Found life one big struggle mostly ..while I do appreciate the good things ,I battle through mostly
I can identify 100% with Katie! It’s as if she was telling my story! Unreal. It’s a horrible, difficult time of my life. I feel as if I’ve lost the old me and I don’t know what to be or how to find a new me! That sounds muddled…😢❤
Sorry ... I've delt with depression.. off and on... I rit sucks...I'd rather have pain then emotionally, mentally issues. But it was medical "unbalanced " on medication and keeps me on balance.
I understand. I miss the old me too. And in reference to the following comment, no antidepressants have ever worked for me but things have gotten so bad that I’m trying one again. I hope that the woman who made this video and everyone who reads these comments feels better because it’s hellish to suffer like this I’m stuck alone and I can’t get myself to call anybody or do anything. I think that most to me has just gone on strike because life has hurt me way too much.
I’ll be watching all your episodes and rooting for you Katie. I hope Alex can help you on your journey to finding happiness and purpose and love in your life
Katie you are an amazing person and dsepite what you think you have achieved so much in your life! Anxiety and depression are both incredibly common yet most families still keep quiet as even in 2023, both conditions still carry a stigma. Unfortunately you are not alone and well done you for voicing your story publicly which will undoubtedly help many others. You have dealt with a succession of losses at a pivotal moment in your life- perimenopause and menopause. The hormonal changes at this time in a woman's life unfortunately often coincide with the stress of caring for elderly parents and teenagers and then children leaving home. I felt helpless when my own mother was going through this stage in her life (i did my best but had so many of my own issues to contend with) Looking back I clearly see that what she went through then ( coupled with the anxiety she had experienced throughout most of her life) led to her early death at the age of 68. She often told me she felt useless and worthless, and I reassured her time and again what a beautiful and loved woman/mother she was. I also encouraged her to seek professional help but she was from a generation were mental health was hugely stigmatized. There were many happy times also but her emotional issues led to comfort eating and weight gain. My grandmother's death, menopause and empty nest syndrome were definitely triggers. My own life has been marred with periods of anxiety and low self esteem but I have been fortunate in developing resilience which has served me well through several family bereavements, estrangement, relationship issues, job/financial/health worries. I have reconnected with my inner child by writing a detailed timeline of my life and examining events which shaped my life. I am finding it helpful to use family photographs going back 3 generations and also family history research to examine patterns I notice repeating. For those struggling with similar issues to Katie I would strongly recommend the following 1) be kind to yourself, self-care is essential and never feel guilty for resting or treating yourself. 2) walk in nature, if you dont have anywhere safe to roam then visit places of interest with gardens/ outside spaces such as wildlife parks/ stately homes/ botanical gardens. 3) fresh air, sunshine, drink lots of water, sleep well ( preferred 10pm-6am or similar pattern) 4) cut out sugar and processed foods. Eat plenty of fresh vegetables and seasonal fruits. 5) wear your favourite clothing 6) find a form of exercise you love, could be tai chi, yoga, pilates, swimming, walking - there is something for everyone! 7) lose yourself in a good book- gentle fiction, cosy mysteries, nature/travel writing 8) meditate, enjoy all the little things in life which are free as these are the best things! Watch the sky, listen to birdsong, enjoy sipping fruit/herbal teas 9) listen to gentle music , learn a new language, try puzzles such as Wordle 10) think about people who love/loved you the most- may be a grandparent, parent, child, pet. Think how happy and healthy they would long to see you be ! 11) Let go of any guilt or regret- most of us did/do the best that we could at the time (given our own issues/ thoughts/commitments at that time) Look into the spiritual side of life- I enjoy reading and learning about near death experiences (there are some great sites on UA-cam- Next Level Soul is good place to begin) I keep an open mind but the many experiences from around the world do seem to suggest we are here to fulfill our life purpose and that being kind to ourselves and others is actually way more important than any professional achievements. Sending love and positivity to everyone reading this- you are not alone. Please try to stay in a mindset of love and gratitude as our thoughts are very powerful. P.s if you are a chronic worrier then i recommend listing your worries and then writing possible solutions next to them (rather than endless rumination) ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Late diagnosed autistic mother here - I see myself in Katie’s experiences: not feeling like I fit in anywhere, using humour to try to belong and get some recognition, an innate passion against injustice… not even half way through the video yet but thought I’d share that in case it helps someone else on their journey
I'm only about 9 mins in and autism sprung to my mind too. It always seems to get overlooked in adults. The constant effort to make everything make sense stuck out to me.
Katie you are Brave Beyond words. I watched your sessions weeping and my Heartfelt gratitude for your candor in the fact that the Life you had no longer fitted your desire to live a more honest, stripped back existence. The universe rewards the Brave. Many blessings to you. Australia 18 July 2023
This guy is so insightful. I was just like you Katie. Id put myself on the 'back-burner' for so many years as a Mum that putting myself first felt so alien and uncomfortable to me. Being honest it took me 3 years to grieve and adjust to the 'empty nest' but now I can say at 52, life begins now. I'm in a relationship after being single for 6 years and we go out together on our bike and explore the valleys of Wales together. It takes time, more than a few weeks, but it will come and you’ll learn so much about yourself, rediscover yourself even.
Katie you will come through this tough episode in your life sooner than you think. You lost your beautiful dog and that hurts. Your dog loved you because you were you. You haven't lost your children and they love you because you are you. You have proved your abilities over and over again as a loving person to your children and the people you have worked for ! The big step is to get the fabulous you in perspective to yourself. Some unwanted cruel inner voice is judging you and putting you down so tell it to f...off cause you don't have time for idiots! Best of luck and enjoy the journal with Alex. He's such a caring person .
Oh my goodness! On listening to this episode with Katie, I relate to so much of it. Having said that, there are some significant differences between us. I share the sense of ‘what is my purpose’ and wanting to be the best at everything I do, since my teens. But I don’t have children which has been my greatest sadness so haven’t got that conduit(?) for the love I have to give and which may have given me some sense of purpose. But the not knowing ‘who I am’ has been over-whelming at times. I loved the insights that Alex had for Katie - changing the internal voice and soothing that child that didn’t feel heard or seen. Could have a lot to do with boarding school at 8 yrs of age and relentless bullying for years by people who know not what they did to my twin sister and me! It stays with me even today at age 71!
I have cried so hard during this. I think it has hit a nerve in me that I didn’t quite know that was there. I’m pulling for you Katie and in doing so I am pulling for myself.
Is it possible that this woman has clinical depression? She mentioned feeling better during pregnancy and relating this to hormones. How do you, as a therapist, determine what type of depression she has? When is a chemical intervention (anti depressants or hormone replacement) preferable? Is talking therapy always the best option or can it be counter productive for some? Many thanks and good luck to this lovely lady.
Thank you for being so vulnerable, Katie. In many ways I'm right beside you. Thanks for guiding Katie so carefully, Alex. I'm looking forward to the ongoing journey.
You are now a hero..a warrior to all who see this...to actually be filmed, to put yourself in front of all of us and tell us your vulnerability and " flaws " that we all pretend aren't there !!...big thank youuuuuuu..
I keep my fingers crossed for you Katie. I think you are very brave and I hope this journey gives you peace and pleasure of feeling worthy and loved by yourself. Great episode.
I cried hearing her story I could relate with most of what she's said I've had that voice since I can remember since I was a child I've been through a lot of trauma I haven't dealt with to where its starting to get to that overwhelming tipping point where I don't want to be here anymore I want the pain and that voice that says what's wrong with you to stop but I can't I don't want my babies to feel the consequences there the only reason I live
I understand. I've been there...see my note above. It is a struggle. You can do it...feel better/recovery/be happy ♥ Find your self and love that little child.
Not to mean to knock this therapist. But this woman needs another woman to understand her hurt. But in the other hand the therapist is really good at his advice and how to help her so I take the comment back. However, it would be nice if Katie could find a woman friend to talk to about her struggles too. I know even here their are a ton of women who understand her struggles, me included. I always had anxiety too always, and empty nest syndrome, turning 50 four years ago now and finding my purpose. Also, lets not forget about menopause and how our hormones have a huge impact with how we feel emotionally, physically and our confidence about getting older.
Katie, Thank you for your realness. Your bravery and honesty looking inside will not only shift your view of self, but help others learn this as well. You are not alone. There are a lot of commonalities to our stories. At one point you stated your view of self as your unhappy, negative feelings. I don't agree. I think the real you is the person I see when you talk about being a mom/talking about your kids/your career interest in human stories. You are brave, kind, compassionate, loving, authentic.... not a job, degree or marital status. I have no doubt, you will find her. Thank you for taking us on your journey.
Thanks katie for sharing your story. I have two children. They are now teenagers. The transition is tough. Being a mum is so wonderful. Alex - any advice how you grieve the children growing up?
In addition to my previous comment- art can also be hugely therapeutic, whether doodling, colouring in, creating a masterpiece. Sewing, knitting, embroidery, crochet also, either at home or join a class. Try not to isolate yourself- perhaps volunteer one afternoon a week in an animal shelter, hospital, playgroup or charity shop. ❤❤❤❤❤
Suffered anxiety and a sense of worthlessness all my life, which has actually got worse the older I've got. So much self disgust at my struggling to fit into society. It's a never ending circle with no remission or exit door.
Very brave to be so exposed in showing your feelings .I have has Anxiety most of my life and found myself rescuing others to feel better rather building a strong foundation for myself ,I feel for Katie and hope Alex can help .
I feel a great deal of the same fears and inadequacy. Loved being a mum. Loved being a grandma but never happy with myself. I felt for much of my life like an alien. I shall watch this with huge interest.
Most of the things this woman has said here are common for most men and women. Hate to point this out but she is financially very well set up ….Go out see the world,do stuff , don’t just sit there. A lot of people feel unsafe but to me this is boredom. Come on where is the common sense here? She comes from a middle class background with privileges…wish I had and if I had I wouldn’t be a cleaner today who really does feel like I have a life without a purpose!
I live with a guy since 2006, never married. His Mom who is a psychologist told me to stop criticizing him and do all house hold responsibilities. She then told me I should go get therapy, seek aid through local charities like Catholic charities, get on Medicaid. But don't be dependent on her son, that would be wrong thing to do. She told me to get off his back and that most of my physical pain was in my head, not in my body. I told her I would try to leave, and I know how much she loves her son. She was happy that I seemed to understand her suggested advice to me. I have no way to leave and my auto-immune disorder never qualified me for disability, I applied 3x's. I feel none of his family approve of me, and my family and friends would probably agree with her also since she is a psychologist.
Hi! I'm also working on self compassion as it was totaly foreign concept for me. Do you have some resourses to recommend? I find Lisa Romano's guided meditations helpfull and also Pete Walker: From survivng to thriewing. Good luck and I wish you all the best 🍀
I can’t tell you how much I relate to you Katie. I’ve had ME/CFS for 25 years. Struggled with anxiety throughout my life and depression.. my lovely mum died 5 years ago. She was part of my every day.. my lovely son who was married but who we saw every day stopped calling at weekends. He lives quite a few miles away. Then 2 years ago my daughter got married and moved away. The anxiety was bad. I felt so negative towards myself. I’m a Christian and trust God will get me through this. It’s tough though Katie. You’ve been brave to share but it’s helped me and I’m looking forward to seeing where you go with Alex. I’m a 54 mum though still with my very wonderful husband. God bless you
I hope you see this. I really relate to what you've said because I've also suffered through ME and CFS for 30 years!! I finally saw an alternative doctor got diagnosed with Hashimoto. I learned I was seriously deficient in magnesium and vitamin D3. (Medical doctors don't usually focus on these things because it's not profitable to them). Magnesium Glycinate will make the pain, fatigue and stiffness go away! Just take the recommend does on the bottle and slowly increase it till the pain goes away.
@@ceilconstante640aww hello! I have received your message! Thank you! I wrote you a reply on my phone but it would not send! I will send this to see if it works on my iPad. If it does, I’ve taken pics of my long reply and will see if I can somehow send those. I can’t write it all again haha! I might be a while in coming. Take care and again thank you for your lovely message :)!
I have had cfs for 27 years it’s been tough but I can now see I have had very difficult relationships with my narcissist mother and sister. I can see why I took it through burn out, and didn’t know how to take care of myself and love myself. Grieve your loneliness but start relaxation and meditation and do meditation on loving the inner child. It time to have a great relationship with the most important person in your life yourself. Much love sent your way .
Absolutely. I am so grateful to Katie for sharing this with us. I haven't read all of the comments but it sounds like PMDD and possibly ADHD play a big role here and would be useful to address/explore alongside the self worth aspect. From my perspective the three things are interlinked and when hormonal imbalance sidelines us without being recognised it can make the self worth piece incredibly difficult to access.
I love the idea of reflecting on how I am treated myself. After years of therapy and self help and meditation my self talk is excellent; however, belief in myself and my capacity to take care of myself as a disabled adult is still lagging behind.
Katie you are so courageous to face this, and I wish you healing and love. I felt like my world had crashed down when I had to face the empty nest as I had lost me while being mum. I'm slowly getting through this now, learning what I like to do, what I don't like to do; and ultimately getting to know who I am today. It's not easy, but gradually I'm regaining self-worth and beginning to like who I am.
Listening to Katie is me hearing myself. I never had children, but 2 marriages & the 2nd is near ending. I don't know who I am or why I'm here or what my purpose is. I know my relationship w my husband isn't good but I'm terrified to be on my own. I'm scared to be alone. I don't think I'd make it.
Wow i could write your message. I'm newly divorced, i don't have children, i didn't know who i was until 4 years ago when i had an epiphany and everything has changed. I went to therapy, ive been reading hundreds of books 📚, I've been watching thousands of videos on youtube and now i can say after 3 decades without knowing myself that i finally know who I am. It's been hard and painful to dig my past but the light in the end of the tunnel is so worth it 😌 May you find yourself 🙏
It is very scary stepping out in your own. It is growth. Find a woman you trust and confide in her. It's ok to be scared...ask questions of other older women you respect. Let them know you're scared but you're gonna do it!
Trauma gets stuck in the brain. The limbic system and the amygdala actually re-wire... The amygdala actually gets bigger which makes us even more hyper vigilant and reactive... SO HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW and WHEN will I ever heal? I am constantly in a state of frozen paralyzed trauma... Do him and her have Evil Demons inside of their Souls? Or do they just love each other? And in their passion for one another... He discarded me... Is it as simple as the latter? UNBEARABLE PAIN. SUICIDAL GRIEF. DARKNESS. TERROR. PANIC. ALONENESS. I beg to die. Please, Lord, let me die. I can't take this pain and panic anymore. I'm so desperately alone. I live in panic and despair. I have SEVERE PTSD. I am dizzy with grief and nauseous with panic and terror. I'm so very very very alone. HOW THE ACTUAL FUCK COULD HE DO THIS TO ME? HOW HOW HOW??? I trusted him. I loved him. I needed him. He raped my soul and left me in darkness. He gave me severe PTSD. Severe severe severe. I live in constant panic and horrific terror. Can't believe what he's done to me. How could he do this to me? WHAT! A! MONSTER!!! I can't breathe. I don't breathe. I am paralyzed with frantic terrified panic. I am submerged in darkness. I am breathless and lonely and so very alone. Debilitating paralyzing panic attacks. They are almost constant. I'm in hell. I can't find escape nor relief. My soul is tortured and tormented and raped. He raped me. On a soul level. He raped my soul. I am in agony. Anguished. Haunted. Panicked. In despair. I die inside. The pain is unbearable. I drowned in terror and darkness. Nightmares all night. Panic attacks all day. When and how will I ever heal? This happened to me in February, and now we're in July... I need a miracle. A million little miracles... His name is Bryan. He raped my soul. Viciously maliciously brutally violently. I thought he was my best friend. He betrayed and abandoned me and left me alone to die. Replaced me. Discarded me. Like garbage. Gave me severe PTSD. So... I release all chords, hooks, ties, and attachments to him specifically, and also generally: to any person, place, or thing, on any time continuum, that is no longer for my highest and best good, and healing... I release all of these things now, and forevermore, and I watch them dissolve into the nothingness, from which they came... Thank you, thank you, thank you - IT IS DONE! 🙏 And here are 13 gentle and urgent reminders: 1. You're ALWAYS exactly where you are supposed to be 2. Self-esteem is measured by you (nobody else gets to decide your worth) 3. Get rid of fear: FOREVER!!! 4. When things are tough, change the way you see things... 5. Don't dwell on/in the past (come back to this present moment!) 6. It's only temporary (all of it!) 7. You have what it takes 8. You don't need to change 9. Release your need for control 10. Accept. Allow. Breathe. Deep. 11. Remember where you came from 12. Remember that you are not alone (not ever!) 13. Remember who you are GOD has a purpose for your pain, A reason for your struggle, and a reward for your courage/bravery/faithfulness... Trust, and never give up. 🙏🏽 I'm walking into my victory! Thank you, God!❤💯 Instead of saying: “what’s the worst that could happen?” Let’s say: “what’s the BEST that could happen?” I choose God's LOVE and MIRACLES over the temptation of unbelief! I surrender all the pain, the darkness, the grief, the misery, and the self judgement. I am ready to have it all transmuted to joy, comfort, safety, bliss, miracles, magic, beauty, happiness, strength, and aliveness! AFFIRMING: - I am divine - I am sacred - I am radically honest - I am a warrior - I am an angel - I am light - I am love - I am one with the eternal - I am one with my twin flame (we are magnetized to each other!) - I am protected - I am strong - I am multidimensional - I am grateful - I am abundantly blessed - I am brave and courageous - I am creative - I am resilient - I am ambitious - I am a healer - I make the world a better place
Wow, listening to Katie was like she was talking about me, apart from her children, which I don’t have unfortunately, but the rest was so familiar. Gonna keep watching, thank you for putting these online
i relate to Katie so much, i wish he just let her cry, without conceptualizing every word, it seems this cry is a long time coming, i wish she was able to express her pain, and in that let go at least of some of it
I absolutely adore these sessions so much! I can literally relate to everyone’s story!! Thank you so much for putting these out and to everyone sharing their journeys 💖
Katie, Thank you for being so brave and vulnerable. You are not alone in the way you feel, I have been on a similar path, and I believe you are on the right track to feeling better about yourself and how you fit in in the world. Be gentle with yourself as you move forward. You will find a safe space right within you that you can always come home to no matter what happens in the outside world.
Omg kasey, you is loved, you is beautiful, you is worthy..you have a beautiful heart because your children have experienced that..your sensitive self needs nourishing, it's your time to give you a big bloody hug 🤗.. You are fearless, like who leaves the hubby whilst pregnant n takes on a high pressure job, you did not n you were good at it..all you need to do now is give yourself the love that you give to others..you can do it 💜
Katie was very clear about the fact that she felt better during pregnancy. She could be at peri menopause or going through menopause at now. All of her previous negative feelings may be enhanced at this stage.
yes I do agree with the Not about it Possibly being Some stage of the Menopause ,and HRT is becoming. Big thing At the moment in Helping with feelings of self worth. but Not the whole Answer, it exaserbates feelings you already have about yourself.
Oh, I can relate to so much of this. Katie, I hope you are well and know you are so precious. PS: I don't know how therapists can do it. I would be a crying mess, so I very much appreciate their calm empathy!
I relate so much to her lifetime struggle with anxiety & depression so much. But I'm now wondering about the therapist i saw. I did feel accepted. But he talked very, very little. I think i'd have benefitted from more input, like I'm seeing here.
I really hope that Katie is able to come through this time of huge change and loss and find herself calmer and happier. I found so many ad breaks really disturbing in such a sensitive programme.
Thank you Katie for sharing your journey. I identify with your situation, as do some other “empty nesters” who are prone to anxiety and depression. I’m really. hoping that Alex can help you for your sake and for the rest of us who are dealing with similar problems. ❤
Oh my goodness! I so understand as a 2x time widow and alone now. I just am doing my level best to find my footing and place in this world. So very lonely, very lonely.
God speed Katie! I relate, I don’t know if you are a believer but I stopped hating myself when I went to the Bible and looked up the verses where God tells me who I am. He says I am fearfully and wonderfully made. He says He knew me in the depths of the earth and in the womb, He says He has a plan and purpose for my life! He says that I am His!I am now 70+ and I see he has still a purpose for me! God is good! ❤️
This story really made Made me cry so hard, because I saw myself in that story. You can be so proud of your self because you gave so much have been through so much agony and lonleyness and are still here. You are amazing and beautiful too. I really feel with you. ❤
What a strong lady! Thank you Katie for being so open and brave. I am looking forward to seeing more of your journey and wish you well with all my heart 💜
Wow just stumbled across this Katie thankyou .I understand I'm In same boat I have never written anything I had to contact Katie Similar circumstances my goodness thankyou
Thank you once again so much for doing these series Alex, it´s really helpful. Thank you also Katie for being so open and vulnerable with us. I feel your pain and I am rooting for you. I am reading and want to recommend a book called Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents by Lindsay C. Gibson at the moment that I find super insightful about the things that happened or rather didn´t happen in our childhood (it sounds like this might apply to your childhood as well) and how that affects our relationship with ourselves and our emotional world. It just really validates my experiences with my parents and why I always feel so empty and off balance around them and as a general theme throughout my life. I always thought it was just me being incapable and an ungrateful daughter, but the book describes my mom to a t and tells me that I´m not crazy but that my experience and reactions are rather perfectly human, which is such a relief haha. Much love to you and all the best for everyone on this bizarre and often painful journey!
For you to admit you are frightened is absolutely inspiring. You deserve to have a happy fulfilled life. Your legacy is forever in your children's lives, only you could have done that for them. They will surely be emotionally supportive of your journey and proud of what you do next. It will be difficult everyday to show up and be bold. With the help you are receiving and the work you put into it you will be successful. Thank you for sharing you are not alone.
This also points out a reason why many women, unlike Katie, stay in dysfunctional or unhappy marriages. Once the children leave, women may see it as an opportunity to redefine themselves. But others fear that, without some tether to a known role, they may lose themselves, or find that they are, in fact, irrelevant outside of their role. How do you answer the question: "Can you tell me about yourself; who are you?"
I can really relate to this. Another gen-X born around the same time. Baby boomer parents were pretty narcissistic & dismissive about emotions. We were ignored as children but then told we could do anything. We were steered into careers with no mention of how a family and children might fit in. As though we could do everything all at once with a sink or swim approach. So we tried, but many of us sank probably!
Boy, has she expressed things that I’ve felt and said my own self. I wish I could give her a big hug. Wouldn’t it be nice if we could all get on Facebook and just verbally shower her with all kinds of encouragement. We have the technology for it. 🧡 May she and me, and we all come to find her true purpose- the reason we’re here. We have a destiny, and I know I’ve been depressed so many years partly due to not doing the things I was sent here to do. Still coming to that point! But even more, we each have a God-shaped hole that only He can fill. I’ve tried stuffing that void with food. Some use other things. May we go back to our creator- through his son Jesus- and ask Him for the manual for our life. There we will finally find happiness.
After 30 years of caring for my beloved Son who has various Disabilities . Now he has gone into residential house i am now 57 and i relate to Katies feelings of not fitting into this world and no purpose . She is amazingly intelligent . Best wishes to you Katie ❤
Very unhealthy! We may wear many hats, and society may give you many labels, but your only identity is as a spiritual being having a physical experience.
I see so many active, positive foundational points already on her make up. My sense is she is grieving the past and a time although she saw the events previously come to the surface. First go in and have a hair cut and styling, something easy, have a manicure. Look around your home and celebrate the memories.....are there items you could box and give to various family members as a gift. If you like children get a job in the kitchen at a school. You are a rolls royce and stop treating yourself like you are a junker. Peace to the World.
Absolutely 100% ADHD. This is my life in a nutshell. Every single thing is a mirror of my life and we’re only 9 minutes in. Figuring yourself out is crucial but knowing you’ve ADHD is a massive weight lifted, trust me. ❤ oh Katie, I wish we were friends, can’t tell you how much it’s like watching myself and my heart is breaking for you AND me.
After my husband passed.. I'm moving along cause I have to... wonder why I'm still here... yes have loving family, friends, church family?.. maybe cause we didn't have children, but never felt like I must have kids ... for me and my husband I'd God blessed us with children then great.
First Brilliant Therapy Because I have been in Therapy still am I want to say Before she can begin any of those things Deciding I will fight and win this battle is priority I know she said she doesn’t really believe…that’s fine I know from years of help Deciding Yes! I’m going to do This! God bless this Therapist Wow Katie He is extraordinary I also hear you 100 God bless you
Thank you Katie. I see a lot of myself in you. I am looking into HRT and ASD. I think that your thought about hormones being related is probably correct. I totally get the anxiety and constant thinking and having to just get on with it. I am seeing this two years on, and am looking forward to seeing more. I hope that you are doing ok. Alex I have picked up some good tips from you. The conversation we have with ourself is so important. Journaling is something that may help too, so I am going to give it a go for when I find a suitable therapist. ❤😌
@@tessalee6253 thanks for the advice. I am doing my best with diet and e exercise. It’s been a tough few years for me trying to work out how to cope with a multitude of changes and events. As much as diet and exercise are important I now understand that they can’t cure everything. I don’t think diet will magically regenerate post menopause hormones or make me not autistic, but yes diet and exercise are most certainly important in creating your best self (as long as they aren’t taken to extremes or become damaging: just be aware that people on the autism spectrum may also have eating and control disorders and further advice about exercise may actually not be appropriate depending on their struggles)
Im 50 and i relate to Katie so much. My purpose has always been taking care of my husband and children. Im divorced now and an empty nester.
Thank you for sharing Darling. We'll be okay.
If you ever want to reach out to another 50 year old woman, please do.
This is true sisterhood and girl power! ❤
Isn’t it so common to see our identity through what we do rather than who we are. It’s like we think looking after kids, being a good wife and person is who we are. It’s not. Who we are we’ve lost sight of, this is what she and all of us is looking for.
I think when you do something for so long its very difficult to adjust when that changes, you can become a little lost. But things will get better and you'll find a new purpose. I also think the anxiety she felt isnt that unusual dont we all have those things throughout our lives? Obvioulsy some suffer more than others. Don't feel alone becaue you are not.
My heart goes out to Katie and hopefully Alex will be able to help her. By allowing us to follow her she is also helping me (and others like me) more than she could ever know. For that, I am truly grateful to both of them. I wish Katie well on her journey, as I do all the participants.
Very relatable, bless Kate, I'm 50 too and get the comments around brushing all under the carpet in the 70s and 80s
Yes
Yes❤
Absolutely can relate at 54
If you take a minute to think deeply about the huge, daily, Herculean effort of raising four children, all of the housework and planning and love and help and meals and laundry and shopping and school support, that in itself constitutes an enormous life accomplishment. Bravo Katie! You are already a hero! 🙏🏻💕
Yes to this!
I know exactly that feeling ..my childhood was traumatic. I have struggled all my life with anxiety, bouts of depression. Never liked myself. Found life one big struggle mostly ..while I do appreciate the good things ,I battle through mostly
I can identify 100% with Katie! It’s as if she was telling my story! Unreal. It’s a horrible, difficult time of my life. I feel as if I’ve lost the old me and I don’t know what to be or how to find a new me! That sounds muddled…😢❤
Sorry ... I've delt with depression.. off and on... I rit sucks...I'd rather have pain then emotionally, mentally issues. But it was medical "unbalanced " on medication and keeps me on balance.
I understand. I miss the old me too. And in reference to the following comment, no antidepressants have ever worked for me but things have gotten so bad that I’m trying one again. I hope that the woman who made this video and everyone who reads these comments feels better because it’s hellish to suffer like this I’m stuck alone and I can’t get myself to call anybody or do anything. I think that most to me has just gone on strike because life has hurt me way too much.
@@mare2723I am running right there with you. I hope and pray that we will see better days very soon!
Same. So much of what she says--me to the letter. Amazing bravery on Kate's part to share all this.
Read Robert Adams complete collective works
Katie tells a woman’s tale!!
Be brave !! ❤️
I’ll be watching all your episodes and rooting for you Katie. I hope Alex can help you on your journey to finding happiness and purpose and love in your life
Katie you are an amazing person and dsepite what you think you have achieved so much in your life!
Anxiety and depression are both incredibly common yet most families still keep quiet as even in 2023, both conditions still carry a stigma.
Unfortunately you are not alone and well done you for voicing your story publicly which will undoubtedly help many others.
You have dealt with a succession of losses at a pivotal moment in your life- perimenopause and menopause.
The hormonal changes at this time in a woman's life unfortunately often coincide with the stress of caring for elderly parents and teenagers and then children leaving home.
I felt helpless when my own mother was going through this stage in her life (i did my best but had so many of my own issues to contend with)
Looking back I clearly see that what she went through then ( coupled with the anxiety she had experienced throughout most of her life) led to her early death at the age of 68.
She often told me she felt useless and worthless, and I reassured her time and again what a beautiful and loved woman/mother she was. I also encouraged her to seek professional help but she was from a generation were mental health was hugely stigmatized.
There were many happy times also but her emotional issues led to comfort eating and weight gain.
My grandmother's death, menopause and empty nest syndrome were definitely triggers.
My own life has been marred with periods of anxiety and low self esteem but I have been fortunate in developing resilience which has served me well through several family bereavements, estrangement, relationship issues, job/financial/health worries.
I have reconnected with my inner child by writing a detailed timeline of my life and examining events which shaped my life.
I am finding it helpful to use family photographs going back 3 generations and also family history research to examine patterns I notice repeating.
For those struggling with similar issues to Katie I would strongly recommend the following
1) be kind to yourself, self-care is essential and never feel guilty for resting or treating yourself.
2) walk in nature, if you dont have anywhere safe to roam then visit places of interest with gardens/ outside spaces such as wildlife parks/ stately homes/ botanical gardens.
3) fresh air, sunshine, drink lots of water, sleep well ( preferred 10pm-6am or similar pattern)
4) cut out sugar and processed foods. Eat plenty of fresh vegetables and seasonal fruits.
5) wear your favourite clothing
6) find a form of exercise you love, could be tai chi, yoga, pilates, swimming, walking - there is something for everyone!
7) lose yourself in a good book- gentle fiction, cosy mysteries, nature/travel writing
8) meditate, enjoy all the little things in life which are free as these are the best things!
Watch the sky, listen to birdsong, enjoy sipping fruit/herbal teas
9) listen to gentle music , learn a new language, try puzzles such as Wordle
10) think about people who love/loved you the most- may be a grandparent, parent, child, pet. Think how happy and healthy they would long to see you be !
11) Let go of any guilt or regret- most of us did/do the best that we could at the time (given our own issues/ thoughts/commitments at that time)
Look into the spiritual side of life- I enjoy reading and learning about near death experiences (there are some great sites on UA-cam- Next Level Soul is good place to begin)
I keep an open mind but the many experiences from around the world do seem to suggest we are here to fulfill our life purpose and that being kind to ourselves and others is actually way more important than any professional achievements.
Sending love and positivity to everyone reading this- you are not alone.
Please try to stay in a mindset of love and gratitude as our thoughts are very powerful.
P.s if you are a chronic worrier then i recommend listing your worries and then writing possible solutions next to them (rather than endless rumination)
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Bless your caring heart, thank you! 😊
Thankyou so much 💓
Late diagnosed autistic mother here - I see myself in Katie’s experiences: not feeling like I fit in anywhere, using humour to try to belong and get some recognition, an innate passion against injustice… not even half way through the video yet but thought I’d share that in case it helps someone else on their journey
I'm only about 9 mins in and autism sprung to my mind too. It always seems to get overlooked in adults. The constant effort to make everything make sense stuck out to me.
Same here, I wasn't long into the video and I related hugely, seeing lots of signs of neurodivergence in her
Same here x
Katie you are Brave Beyond words.
I watched your sessions weeping and my Heartfelt gratitude for your candor in the fact that the Life you had no longer fitted your desire to live a more honest, stripped back existence.
The universe rewards the Brave.
Many blessings to you.
Australia 18 July 2023
This guy is so insightful. I was just like you Katie. Id put myself on the 'back-burner' for so many years as a Mum that putting myself first felt so alien and uncomfortable to me. Being honest it took me 3 years to grieve and adjust to the 'empty nest' but now I can say at 52, life begins now. I'm in a relationship after being single for 6 years and we go out together on our bike and explore the valleys of Wales together. It takes time, more than a few weeks, but it will come and you’ll learn so much about yourself, rediscover yourself even.
Katie you will come through this tough episode in your life sooner than you think. You lost your beautiful dog and that hurts. Your dog loved you because you were you. You haven't lost your children and they love you because you are you. You have proved your abilities over and over again as a loving person to your children and the people you have worked for ! The big step is to get the fabulous you in perspective to yourself. Some unwanted cruel inner voice is judging you and putting you down so tell it to f...off cause you don't have time for idiots! Best of luck and enjoy the journal with Alex. He's such a caring person .
Oh my goodness! On listening to this episode with Katie, I relate to so much of it. Having said that, there are some significant differences between us. I share the sense of ‘what is my purpose’ and wanting to be the best at everything I do, since my teens. But I don’t have children which has been my greatest sadness so haven’t got that conduit(?) for the love I have to give and which may have given me some sense of purpose. But the not knowing ‘who I am’ has been over-whelming at times. I loved the insights that Alex had for Katie - changing the internal voice and soothing that child that didn’t feel heard or seen. Could have a lot to do with boarding school at 8 yrs of age and relentless bullying for years by people who know not what they did to my twin sister and me! It stays with me even today at age 71!
I have cried so hard during this. I think it has hit a nerve in me that I didn’t quite know that was there. I’m pulling for you Katie and in doing so I am pulling for myself.
Is it possible that this woman has clinical depression? She mentioned feeling better during pregnancy and relating this to hormones. How do you, as a therapist, determine what type of depression she has? When is a chemical intervention (anti depressants or hormone replacement) preferable? Is talking therapy always the best option or can it be counter productive for some? Many thanks and good luck to this lovely lady.
I aree the two emotional and physical illness are interalated. I might assume Katie would beneift from both medication and therapy
Thank you for being so vulnerable, Katie. In many ways I'm right beside you. Thanks for guiding Katie so carefully, Alex. I'm looking forward to the ongoing journey.
I lost my precious furbaby in Jan. 2020…. I will miss her forever.🐶
You are now a hero..a warrior to all who see this...to actually be filmed, to put yourself in front of all of us and tell us your vulnerability and " flaws " that we all pretend aren't there !!...big thank youuuuuuu..
I keep my fingers crossed for you Katie. I think you are very brave and I hope this journey gives you peace and pleasure of feeling worthy and loved by yourself. Great episode.
I cried hearing her story I could relate with most of what she's said I've had that voice since I can remember since I was a child I've been through a lot of trauma I haven't dealt with to where its starting to get to that overwhelming tipping point where I don't want to be here anymore I want the pain and that voice that says what's wrong with you to stop but I can't I don't want my babies to feel the consequences there the only reason I live
I understand. I've been there...see my note above. It is a struggle. You can do it...feel better/recovery/be happy ♥ Find your self and love that little child.
I understand, I'm 68. I'm still hopeful for each day. I don't want to miss the special moments.
Not to mean to knock this therapist. But this woman needs another woman to understand her hurt. But in the other hand the therapist is really good at his advice and how to help her so I take the comment back. However, it would be nice if Katie could find a woman friend to talk to about her struggles too. I know even here their are a ton of women who understand her struggles, me included. I always had anxiety too always, and empty nest syndrome, turning 50 four years ago now and finding my purpose. Also, lets not forget about menopause and how our hormones have a huge impact with how we feel emotionally, physically and our confidence about getting older.
Katie, Thank you for your realness. Your bravery and honesty looking inside will not only shift your view of self, but help others learn this as well. You are not alone. There are a lot of commonalities to our stories. At one point you stated your view of self as your unhappy, negative feelings. I don't agree. I think the real you is the person I see when you talk about being a mom/talking about your kids/your career interest in human stories. You are brave, kind, compassionate, loving, authentic.... not a job, degree or marital status. I have no doubt, you will find her. Thank you for taking us on your journey.
The story was very touching. I could relate to Katie's relationship with herself. I'm looking forward to new episodes!
Me too. ❤
Thanks katie for sharing your story. I have two children. They are now teenagers. The transition is tough. Being a mum is so wonderful. Alex - any advice how you grieve the children growing up?
In addition to my previous comment- art can also be hugely therapeutic, whether doodling, colouring in, creating a masterpiece.
Sewing, knitting, embroidery, crochet also, either at home or join a class.
Try not to isolate yourself- perhaps volunteer one afternoon a week in an animal shelter, hospital, playgroup or charity shop.
❤❤❤❤❤
Suffered anxiety and a sense of worthlessness all my life, which has actually got worse the older I've got. So much self disgust at my struggling to fit into society. It's a never ending circle with no remission or exit door.
Very brave to be so exposed in showing your feelings .I have has Anxiety most of my life and found myself rescuing others to feel better rather building a strong foundation for myself ,I feel for Katie and hope Alex can help .
Katie I am proud of you! You are very courageous! I am going through a similar experience...so your helping me. Thank you
I feel a great deal of the same fears and inadequacy. Loved being a mum. Loved being a grandma but never happy with myself. I felt for much of my life like an alien. I shall watch this with huge interest.
Most of the things this woman has said here are common for most men and women. Hate to point this out but she is financially very well set up ….Go out see the world,do stuff , don’t just sit there. A lot of people feel unsafe but to me this is boredom. Come on where is the common sense here? She comes from a middle class background with privileges…wish I had and if I had I wouldn’t be a cleaner today who really does feel like I have a life without a purpose!
I live with a guy since 2006, never married. His Mom who is a psychologist told me to stop criticizing him and do all house hold responsibilities. She then told me I should go get therapy, seek aid through local charities like Catholic charities, get on Medicaid. But don't be dependent on her son, that would be wrong thing to do. She told me to get off his back and that most of my physical pain was in my head, not in my body. I told her I would try to leave, and I know how much she loves her son. She was happy that I seemed to understand her suggested advice to me. I have no way to leave and my auto-immune disorder never qualified me for disability, I applied 3x's. I feel none of his family approve of me, and my family and friends would probably agree with her also since she is a psychologist.
I wish everyone reading this peace, prosperity, healing and courage. ❤🌸🌺✨⭐️
I am working hard on
Self-compassion. You are amazing to share
This . Thank you
Hi! I'm also working on self compassion as it was totaly foreign concept for me. Do you have some resourses to recommend? I find Lisa Romano's guided meditations helpfull and also Pete Walker: From survivng to thriewing. Good luck and I wish you all the best 🍀
I can relate to this as I have health anxiety and turning 50 in Feb. How brave Katie❤
I can totally relate to you Katie. My kids were my life and then when they had each moved out I felt redundant and bereft xx
I can’t tell you how much I relate to you Katie. I’ve had ME/CFS for 25 years. Struggled with anxiety throughout my life and depression.. my lovely mum died 5 years ago. She was part of my every day.. my lovely son who was married but who we saw every day stopped calling at weekends. He lives quite a few miles away. Then 2 years ago my daughter got married and moved away. The anxiety was bad. I felt so negative towards myself. I’m a Christian and trust God will get me through this. It’s tough though Katie. You’ve been brave to share but it’s helped me and I’m looking forward to seeing where you go with Alex. I’m a 54 mum though still with my very wonderful husband. God bless you
❤
I hope you see this. I really relate to what you've said because I've also suffered through ME and CFS for 30 years!! I finally saw an alternative doctor got diagnosed with Hashimoto. I learned I was seriously deficient in magnesium and vitamin D3. (Medical doctors don't usually focus on these things because it's not profitable to them).
Magnesium Glycinate will make the pain, fatigue and stiffness go away! Just take the recommend does on the bottle and slowly increase it till the pain goes away.
@@ceilconstante640aww hello! I have received your message! Thank you! I wrote you a reply on my phone but it would not send! I will send this to see if it works on my iPad. If it does, I’ve taken pics of my long reply and will see if I can somehow send those. I can’t write it all again haha! I might be a while in coming. Take care and again thank you for your lovely message :)!
I have had cfs for 27 years it’s been tough but I can now see I have had very difficult relationships with my narcissist mother and sister. I can see why I took it through burn out, and didn’t know how to take care of myself and love myself. Grieve your loneliness but start relaxation and meditation and do meditation on loving the inner child. It time to have a great relationship with the most important person in your life yourself. Much love sent your way .
I don’t think you can ever underestimate the role of hormones on physical and mental well-being.
Absolutely. I am so grateful to Katie for sharing this with us. I haven't read all of the comments but it sounds like PMDD and possibly ADHD play a big role here and would be useful to address/explore alongside the self worth aspect. From my perspective the three things are interlinked and when hormonal imbalance sidelines us without being recognised it can make the self worth piece incredibly difficult to access.
Awww you are More than Enough. Amazing woman to be sooo vulnerable to the world well done ❤🎉
Well done Katie for reaching out. All the best to you on this journey and thanks so much for sharing this with us. Great job, as always Alex & team!
I love the idea of reflecting on how I am treated myself. After years of therapy and self help and meditation my self talk is excellent; however, belief in myself and my capacity to take care of myself as a disabled adult is still lagging behind.
Katie you are so courageous to face this, and I wish you healing and love. I felt like my world had crashed down when I had to face the empty nest as I had lost me while being mum. I'm slowly getting through this now, learning what I like to do, what I don't like to do; and ultimately getting to know who I am today. It's not easy, but gradually I'm regaining self-worth and beginning to like who I am.
Listening to Katie is me hearing myself. I never had children, but 2 marriages & the 2nd is near ending. I don't know who I am or why I'm here or what my purpose is. I know my relationship w my husband isn't good but I'm terrified to be on my own. I'm scared to be alone. I don't think I'd make it.
Wow i could write your message.
I'm newly divorced, i don't have children, i didn't know who i was until 4 years ago when i had an epiphany and everything has changed.
I went to therapy, ive been reading hundreds of books 📚, I've been watching thousands of videos on youtube and now i can say after 3 decades without knowing myself that i finally know who I am.
It's been hard and painful to dig my past but the light in the end of the tunnel is so worth it 😌
May you find yourself 🙏
It is very scary stepping out in your own. It is growth. Find a woman you trust and confide in her. It's ok to be scared...ask questions of other older women you respect. Let them know you're scared but you're gonna do it!
Trauma gets stuck in the brain.
The limbic system and the amygdala actually re-wire...
The amygdala actually gets bigger
which makes us even more hyper vigilant and reactive...
SO HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW and WHEN
will I ever heal?
I am constantly in a state of frozen paralyzed trauma...
Do him and her have Evil Demons inside of their Souls?
Or do they just love each other?
And in their passion for one another...
He discarded me...
Is it as simple as the latter?
UNBEARABLE PAIN. SUICIDAL GRIEF.
DARKNESS. TERROR. PANIC. ALONENESS.
I beg to die.
Please, Lord, let me die.
I can't take this pain and panic anymore.
I'm so desperately alone.
I live in panic and despair.
I have SEVERE PTSD.
I am dizzy with grief and nauseous with panic and terror.
I'm so very very very alone.
HOW THE ACTUAL FUCK COULD HE DO THIS TO ME?
HOW HOW HOW???
I trusted him. I loved him. I needed him.
He raped my soul and left me in darkness.
He gave me severe PTSD. Severe severe severe.
I live in constant panic and horrific terror.
Can't believe what he's done to me.
How could he do this to me?
WHAT! A! MONSTER!!!
I can't breathe.
I don't breathe.
I am paralyzed with frantic terrified panic.
I am submerged in darkness.
I am breathless and lonely and so very alone.
Debilitating paralyzing panic attacks.
They are almost constant.
I'm in hell. I can't find escape nor relief.
My soul is tortured and tormented and raped.
He raped me. On a soul level. He raped my soul.
I am in agony.
Anguished.
Haunted.
Panicked.
In despair.
I die inside.
The pain is unbearable.
I drowned in terror and darkness.
Nightmares all night.
Panic attacks all day.
When and how will I ever heal?
This happened to me in February,
and now we're in July...
I need a miracle.
A million little miracles...
His name is Bryan.
He raped my soul.
Viciously maliciously
brutally violently.
I thought he was my best friend.
He betrayed and abandoned me
and left me alone to die.
Replaced me.
Discarded me.
Like garbage.
Gave me severe PTSD.
So...
I release all chords, hooks, ties, and attachments
to him specifically, and also generally:
to any person, place, or thing,
on any time continuum,
that is no longer for my highest and best good, and healing...
I release all of these things now, and forevermore,
and I watch them dissolve into the nothingness, from which they came...
Thank you, thank you, thank you
- IT IS DONE! 🙏
And here are 13 gentle and urgent reminders:
1. You're ALWAYS exactly where you are supposed to be
2. Self-esteem is measured by you (nobody else gets to decide your worth)
3. Get rid of fear: FOREVER!!!
4. When things are tough, change the way you see things...
5. Don't dwell on/in the past (come back to this present moment!)
6. It's only temporary (all of it!)
7. You have what it takes
8. You don't need to change
9. Release your need for control
10. Accept. Allow. Breathe. Deep.
11. Remember where you came from
12. Remember that you are not alone (not ever!)
13. Remember who you are
GOD has a purpose for your pain,
A reason for your struggle,
and a reward for your courage/bravery/faithfulness...
Trust, and never give up. 🙏🏽
I'm walking into my victory!
Thank you, God!❤💯
Instead of saying: “what’s the worst that could happen?”
Let’s say: “what’s the BEST that could happen?”
I choose God's LOVE and MIRACLES
over the temptation of unbelief!
I surrender all the pain, the darkness, the grief, the misery, and the self judgement.
I am ready to have it all transmuted to joy, comfort, safety, bliss, miracles,
magic, beauty, happiness, strength, and aliveness!
AFFIRMING:
- I am divine
- I am sacred
- I am radically honest
- I am a warrior
- I am an angel
- I am light
- I am love
- I am one with the eternal
- I am one with my twin flame (we are magnetized to each other!)
- I am protected
- I am strong
- I am multidimensional
- I am grateful
- I am abundantly blessed
- I am brave and courageous
- I am creative
- I am resilient
- I am ambitious
- I am a healer
- I make the world a better place
Wow, listening to Katie was like she was talking about me, apart from her children, which I don’t have unfortunately, but the rest was so familiar. Gonna keep watching, thank you for putting these online
I just want to hug Katie, because I am just like her! xxx
i relate to Katie so much, i wish he just let her cry, without conceptualizing every word, it seems this cry is a long time coming, i wish she was able to express her pain, and in that let go at least of some of it
I absolutely adore these sessions so much! I can literally relate to everyone’s story!! Thank you so much for putting these out and to everyone sharing their journeys 💖
Katie, Thank you for being so brave and vulnerable. You are not alone in the way you feel, I have been on a similar path, and I believe you are on the right track to feeling better about yourself and how you fit in in the world. Be gentle with yourself as you move forward. You will find a safe space right within you that you can always come home to no matter what happens in the outside world.
New subscriber. I’m loving your videos. You’re doing great work.
Omg kasey, you is loved, you is beautiful, you is worthy..you have a beautiful heart because your children have experienced that..your sensitive self needs nourishing, it's your time to give you a big bloody hug 🤗.. You are fearless, like who leaves the hubby whilst pregnant n takes on a high pressure job, you did not n you were good at it..all you need to do now is give yourself the love that you give to others..you can do it 💜
I feel for Kate. Don't many of us feel like that hurt little child? I hope she finds herself.
Thank you Katie, thank you Alex!
I've only watched the first chapter, but it seems like Katie is avoiding/masking the rage with depression.
Way to go Katie! You ARE so strong!💪✌💚
Katie was very clear about the fact that she felt better during pregnancy. She could be at peri menopause or going through menopause at now. All of her previous negative feelings may be enhanced at this stage.
yes I do agree with the Not about it Possibly being Some stage of the Menopause ,and HRT is becoming. Big thing At the moment in Helping with feelings of self worth. but Not the whole Answer, it exaserbates feelings you already have about yourself.
I totally relate to you. I too have anxiety and depression. I also have M.E.
Oh, I can relate to so much of this. Katie, I hope you are well and know you are so precious. PS: I don't know how therapists can do it. I would be a crying mess, so I very much appreciate their calm empathy!
Well done Katie for being so brave. Good luck as you move forward x
Tell this lady she is loved too because God does not make junk! Our purpose is to just be!!!
I relate so much to her lifetime struggle with anxiety & depression so much. But I'm now wondering about the therapist i saw. I did feel accepted. But he talked very, very little. I think i'd have benefitted from more input, like I'm seeing here.
Same
So brave, thank you for sharing ❤
I really hope that Katie is able to come through this time of huge change and loss and find herself calmer and happier. I found so many ad breaks really disturbing in such a sensitive programme.
Hi C.B. Thanks for your comments. Apologies for the numerous ad breaks on this episode. These will be heavily reduced in future episodes 👍
How do we learn to feel safe in our body?
Thank you Katie for sharing your journey. I identify with your situation, as do some other “empty nesters” who are prone to anxiety and depression. I’m really. hoping that Alex can help you for your sake and for the rest of us who are dealing with similar problems. ❤
Oh my goodness! I so understand as a 2x time widow and alone now. I just am doing my level best to find my footing and place in this world. So very lonely, very lonely.
Sanding you love ❤
Amazing - Thanks for sharing your journey with us Katie - great episode.
Making Space for my Feelings
Such a touching episode. I also felt empty and a bit depressed when our kids grew up. I think it's time to really care about yourself now. ❤
What motivates a woman to have a therapy session exposed to the whole wide world?
10:43 she answers the question.
do not worry like most people who ever you think you are, you are most definely not.....you are so much more.
Katie's story resonates with me. Like her I was an achiever and caretaker of everyone but myself
God speed Katie! I relate, I don’t know if you are a believer but I stopped hating myself when I went to the Bible and looked up the verses where God tells me who I am. He says I am fearfully and wonderfully made. He says He knew me in the depths of the earth and in the womb, He says He has a plan and purpose for my life! He says that I am His!I am now 70+ and I see he has still a purpose for me! God is good! ❤️
Omg she is literally telling my story
This story really made Made me cry so hard, because I saw myself in that story. You can be so proud of your self because you gave so much have been through so much agony and lonleyness and are still here. You are amazing and beautiful too. I really feel with you. ❤
What a strong lady! Thank you Katie for being so open and brave. I am looking forward to seeing more of your journey and wish you well with all my heart 💜
Wow just stumbled across this Katie thankyou .I understand I'm In same boat
I have never written anything
I had to contact Katie
Similar circumstances my goodness thankyou
She is telling my story! 😕
Thank you once again so much for doing these series Alex, it´s really helpful. Thank you also Katie for being so open and vulnerable with us. I feel your pain and I am rooting for you. I am reading and want to recommend a book called Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents by Lindsay C. Gibson at the moment that I find super insightful about the things that happened or rather didn´t happen in our childhood (it sounds like this might apply to your childhood as well) and how that affects our relationship with ourselves and our emotional world. It just really validates my experiences with my parents and why I always feel so empty and off balance around them and as a general theme throughout my life. I always thought it was just me being incapable and an ungrateful daughter, but the book describes my mom to a t and tells me that I´m not crazy but that my experience and reactions are rather perfectly human, which is such a relief haha. Much love to you and all the best for everyone on this bizarre and often painful journey!
For you to admit you are frightened is absolutely inspiring. You deserve to have a happy fulfilled life. Your legacy is forever in your children's lives, only you could have done that for them. They will surely be emotionally supportive of your journey and proud of what you do next. It will be difficult everyday to show up and be bold. With the help you are receiving and the work you put into it you will be successful. Thank you for sharing you are not alone.
I can so relate to this woman. I suspect many can
Hugs for you - you can do it!
This also points out a reason why many women, unlike Katie, stay in dysfunctional or unhappy marriages. Once the children leave, women may see it as an opportunity to redefine themselves. But others fear that, without some tether to a known role, they may lose themselves, or find that they are, in fact, irrelevant outside of their role.
How do you answer the question:
"Can you tell me about yourself; who are you?"
I can really relate to this. Another gen-X born around the same time. Baby boomer parents were pretty narcissistic & dismissive about emotions. We were ignored as children but then told we could do anything. We were steered into careers with no mention of how a family and children might fit in. As though we could do everything all at once with a sink or swim approach. So we tried, but many of us sank probably!
Sounds like Katie you could have had PMDD - Premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD) is a very severe form of premenstrual syndrome (PMS).
Boy, has she expressed things that I’ve felt and said my own self. I wish I could give her a big hug.
Wouldn’t it be nice if we could all get on Facebook and just verbally shower her with all kinds of encouragement. We have the technology for it. 🧡
May she and me, and we all come to find her true purpose- the reason we’re here. We have a destiny, and I know I’ve been depressed so many years partly due to not doing the things I was sent here to do. Still coming to that point!
But even more, we each have a God-shaped hole that only He can fill. I’ve tried stuffing that void with food. Some use other things. May we go back to our creator- through his son Jesus- and ask Him for the manual for our life. There we will finally find happiness.
After 30 years of caring for my beloved Son who has various Disabilities . Now he has gone into residential house i am now 57 and i relate to Katies feelings of not fitting into this world and no purpose . She is amazingly intelligent . Best wishes to you Katie ❤
Question for alex - as a mother my identity becomes a mother. Can this identity become unhealthy?
Very unhealthy! We may wear many hats, and society may give you many labels, but your only identity is as a spiritual being having a physical experience.
Sounds alot like pmdd. Professor Studd (london) is someone worth seeing here.
Pmdd ruins lives.
Is this the same Alex Howard who ran an Optimal Health clinic in London ?
53 here similar story turned out I'm. Autistic and had adhd 😂 Thst. Really showed itself when my. Estrogen dropped.#surprise!
Teaching her about her inner child would be fantastic (trauma informed therapy)
I see so many active, positive foundational points already on her make up. My sense is she is grieving the past and a time although she saw the events previously come to the surface. First go in and have a hair cut and styling, something easy, have a manicure. Look around your home and celebrate the memories.....are there items you could box and give to various family members as a gift. If you like children get a job in the kitchen at a school. You are a rolls royce and stop treating yourself like you are a junker. Peace to the World.
Some of us are wounded healers.💖Perhaps this person was transferring her own self healing onto her children. Just an idea, a thought.
Snap im similar no kids though.
Don’t you think that being loving 🥰 with children 👧 could be part of your purpose??
This is the outcome of bad parenting. And bad parenting is the norm…..
I'd love to follow Katie's progress
Absolutely 100% ADHD. This is my life in a nutshell. Every single thing is a mirror of my life and we’re only 9 minutes in. Figuring yourself out is crucial but knowing you’ve ADHD is a massive weight lifted, trust me. ❤ oh Katie, I wish we were friends, can’t tell you how much it’s like watching myself and my heart is breaking for you AND me.
After my husband passed.. I'm moving along cause I have to... wonder why I'm still here... yes have loving family, friends, church family?.. maybe cause we didn't have children, but never felt like I must have kids ... for me and my husband I'd God blessed us with children then great.
First
Brilliant Therapy
Because I have been in Therapy still am
I want to say
Before she can begin any of those things
Deciding I will fight and win this battle is priority
I know she said she doesn’t really believe…that’s fine
I know from years of help
Deciding
Yes! I’m going to do This!
God bless this Therapist
Wow
Katie
He is extraordinary
I also hear you 100
God bless you
Thank you Katie. I see a lot of myself in you. I am looking into HRT and ASD. I think that your thought about hormones being related is probably correct. I totally get the anxiety and constant thinking and having to just get on with it. I am seeing this two years on, and am looking forward to seeing more. I hope that you are doing ok. Alex I have picked up some good tips from you. The conversation we have with ourself is so important. Journaling is something that may help too, so I am going to give it a go for when I find a suitable therapist. ❤😌
@@tessalee6253 thanks for the advice. I am doing my best with diet and e exercise. It’s been a tough few years for me trying to work out how to cope with a multitude of changes and events. As much as diet and exercise are important I now understand that they can’t cure everything. I don’t think diet will magically regenerate post menopause hormones or make me not autistic, but yes diet and exercise are most certainly important in creating your best self (as long as they aren’t taken to extremes or become damaging: just be aware that people on the autism spectrum may also have eating and control disorders and further advice about exercise may actually not be appropriate depending on their struggles)
Progesterone cream helped and estrogen patch