Session 1 | Beverly | In Therapy with Alex Howard
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- Опубліковано 14 тра 2024
- Beverly is at a crossroads - looking back at her life, there has never been anything that she has felt passionate about. Keen not to waste any more time, Beverly has embarked on a therapeutic journey to try to inject some overdue passion into her life. In this first session, we attempt to unearth the source of her apathy by focusing on the impact of childhood trauma.
0:00 Welcome to Season 3!
0:30 Meet Beverly
4:28 Discussing childhood themes
9:04 Crisis and professional help
11:55 Terrified of everything
14:19 Didn't get to be a child
15:40 Darkest moments
18:40 Experiencing the maladaptive stress response
22:00 What should I do with my life?
24:05 Inner child work and calming the body
28:00 Is it possible to change? Is it too late?
30:42 After the session
31:32 Alex's thoughts
32:12 Next time on In Therapy...
Alex Howard is a London-based Therapeutic Coach dedicated to breaking the stigma around mental health and helping people make real, positive changes in their lives. Alex is also the creator of Therapeutic Coaching and founder of The Optimum Health Clinic and Conscious Life.
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Website: www.alexhoward.com
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Content is produced, directed and edited by Oliver Halls (Instagram: @oliver.halls) and Rachel Forbes (Instagram: @rae_forbes).
Thank you so much, Bev. I am at a similar stage and state. So much historical trauma and recent trauma has left me frozen in grief and without joy and purpose. I hope to walk the path alongside of you.
You literally described my life. I’m alone + don’t even know where to go or what to do
Thank you Bev. Snap in so many ways. Mid 50's no idea of my passions or even likes, and now with no energy to chase them. You can do this. ❤
‘This is not cognitive based, a coaching thing with an exercise plan, we answer this from the heart’.
That resonated with me so much! I have wasted so much money on coaching programmes, maybe I should have had therapy instead!
I hope Kate finds peace and something she loves x
Beverly, my heart is with you. I'm 53, and for whatever reason, my childhood stuff has caught up to me to the point I'm not functioning as I'd like. I thought I survived my childhood and thrived in spite of it, but I was told I never dealt with it, metabolized, or processed it. I'm looking forward to your journey with Alex, because if you can get help, maybe there's hope for me. Thanks for your openness and vulnerability.
Sweet brave Beverly! Kudo's to Alex for navigating these conversations. Admirable.
Beverly-I appreciate your bravery in sharing your story. I can relate as I'm 51, never married, no children, and have lived anxious my whole life from past family trauma. I used fear as a safety blanket. I too had to please my mother and had to became hypervigilant to what others wanted of me. Unsue of my passions and who we can be without the anxiety. I also am looking for like minded woman for support. We feel like we are alone and we are never truly alone. Thank you for your commitment to sharing as we can learn as well....Blessings Amy in usa
I relate too.
DITTO for me Amy. 🤗 Turning 50 and I'm frustrated living most of my life with anxiety and depression in fear and people pleasing...it's exhausting. 🕊 Kat, Australia
Me too. God yeh, me too.
Read every book by Eckert Tolle. This wise soul will help you in many ways to let go of the past and honor your life in this very present moment. Breathe. Now. Love.
@@jujumulligan43 Yes!!!!!!!!
I see much of myself in Bev. Born 1955 in postwar Germany to parents who survived WWII and suffered severely from PTSD, I also was a kid who did not have the privilege to live as a child. Just now starting therapy as well. Wish us both luck!
Yes❤
I also relate to this. My mother was insecure, angry and anxious. My stepfather was cruel, selfish and would regularly beat her up. I became her helper, her confidante and she relied on me. I had very little chance to be a normal child. In the outside world I hid my dysfunctional home life, I did not want anyone to know. I copied the way other girls behaved to fit in. I wish I could see a therapist.
Beverly thanks, thanks that you shared this with the world. I am from the Netherlands and I struggling in the same way like you. My whole life is full of anxiety and fear that start in my young childhood. I am 64 years old and your courage give me hope. So I following you till the end with the desire that it brings you joy and knowing what you want to do. I sitting in front of you because my need is the same!
Hello! I've only watched 11 minutes so I don't know the outcome yet, but Beverly, you need to be with horses. I'm 51 and have just started riding. This is one of your passions, I am sure.
There are lots of horses up north.
Take care x
Just te presence of this woman on video is so sooting for my entire system. She's childless while I'm considering myself motherless. What I wouldn't do to have a cup of tea and chat with her irl. I know Im going to enjoy this series
Bev you're so brave and amazing to be doing this. Your story mirrors my own story,your opinion of " being less of a person " is how I've felt my entire life,feeling different,not confident,never having a passion and so on.
It hits home that I'm not alone,there are others who have a story to share,others who feel similar to me.
You are helping so many other people by doing this very public,vulnerable journey.
Sending big hugs and I'll be with you all the way on your journey.
Love and gratitude
Rose,New Zealand
Thank so much Beverly, for being so brave in sharing your story. Listening to you has been so helpful to me because my story is similar to yours in so many ways.
Listening to you gives me hope that I can still pick up the pieces and “have a life”.
I know exactly where I am, and kind of understand how I got to be in this shell that I’ve stayed in for over 6 decades.
I wish you the best of luck, that you will find something within yourself that will fill the void.💜
Brilliant again Alex and Beverly! As a student therapist and as a human being, I love these sessions! Thank you!
There's a few of us out there!
Thanks both of you. 🌸
Humans are so complex and our childhood really does seem to shape us , unexpectedly watching these sessions really does help me have more compassion for Human Beings and how fragile we all are ,I wonder what it would be like in a session and also wonder what it would be like to compare how the East would handle thing differently from the West ...I think Alex has mastered that thin line between stepping in and allowing the person to sit with their feelings ..also like his positive attitude .
Beverly, it was so good to watch your session. You have fantastic self-awareness and I believe without a doubt, that you can change things for the better. You may have done lots of therapy previously but each time brings you further along in your understanding. From what I've seen of Alex Howard, he will really nail this with you. Keep doing what you're doing, you WILL get there. And for Alex - keep up the excellent work - you make it all make sense! You and Peter Crone are my go to podcasts when I need guidance. Thank you for doing your podcasts and showing others that change IS possible - hard work but definitely possible 😊
I dealt with abusive parents in similar ways that you did. I definitely relate to how you feel.
That scarf is so fabulous!!
So relatable. Oh to be able to lose the anxiety when I am on my own 🙏
It’s never too late! Yay! I sure related to this episode and really look forward to following Bev’s journey.
Hi Alex
I have found your conversations with Kate interesting and useful. Are there any more sessions after 14. I was wondering how she is doing?
Thank you. 🙂
Thank you both for this talk. You are very brave beverly
Hi Beverly and Alex. I am a bit late to the viewing and I feel inspired and hopeful for you Beverly in whatever you desire in gaining some peace of mind. You come across as a lovely and thoughtful lady who carries herself with care and grace and a gentle manner. I truly feel at the age of my own 51 years that we can carry the loads and burdens of generational trauma before we have even got out of the gates, in this race we call life. Without belittling your own experience , know that with your brave move in participating in this therapy that many would connect and relate to your life and family upbringing. You are a very spritely and grounded lady. For Alex, I feel your skills are great , people need to feel safe they need to feel valued and I feel you achieved that for Beverly. All the best in the coming healing ❤️🩹
Same! And she is a beautiful woman.
Thank you both 🙏❤️
Thank you. This really resonated. 💜
This was Great.
I m 72 and can relate to a lot of this
Fabulous. Thank you Bev and Alex.
What a lovely lady. I’d really love to be friends with her 🩵
What a classy lady!
I related so much to her!
Sorry you kept getting interupted Thanks for sharing,can relate in so many way's...
⚘
Beverly’s mom seemed quite selfish. It’s a shame Beverley wasn’t allowed to be her own person but had to placate her mom so much. It is never too late to change … we just need the will and help at certain times. ❤️🇨🇦
Poor thing. Her mother sounds like my mother, wouldn't let me do anything because it was 'too much trouble'.
I’m in the same place. Alone. My mom passed. Dad with me. I never married. Meds don’t help me. No energy.
What do you do to reset the system ?
Find out more with my Decode Your Trauma video series at www.alexhoward.com
No partner, no children no grandchildren and small family, same as me and it's great cos I can be myself. Too much emphasis on children and grandchildren, let your kid's bring their own children up.
You have no ties, maybe go up North for a length of time, is it where you could live?
You are very cool and thoughtful, your answers will come.
I think there is a word for this = wallowing 😮. If you’ve survived until now congratulate yourself and just get on with living in gratitude. You’re resilient. Ive had loads of childhood trauma but got to understand it. They say our parents did the best they could; well, in my case it wasn’t very good. I wish you well.
Bully for you Mr Perfect. You have a total lack of empathy.
Yes and wallowing equals .... SURVIVING. Sometimes that's all we're able to do. When it's time to move on, we will. Nobody else gets to say to us that we are just "wallowing". We are healing and resting. And thank the Lord for that ability. It's also called SITTING with the feelings. So yeah please show empathy and support. To say someone is wallowing that you literally don't even know is quite overreaching and presumptuous. We are all learning, healing and growing the best we can. So heal, rest, sit, and grow at your own pace....and don't worry if someone who doesn't even know you calls that "wallowing". Well I'll just wallow til I'm ok, thank you. Just someone else's term for my healing and resting. Take care of yourself as well. ☦️☦️🕎🙏
You are judging someone after listening to them for half an hour? You are not in her shoes, skin, heart or mind. Maybe she carries emotional pain - can you feel it? NO? I thought so. By the way, life is not about surviving - it's about living it to the full. And gratitude is a lot of New Age bs - even though she seems to live in gratitude. As for you - I sincerely feel sorry that your parents didn't even "do the best they could"; and I'm happy for you that you got to grips with it.
Great concept video but the volume is too low, very hard to understand especially with accents.
I thought it was just me
Be grateful you could retire ...some people your age are working 45 hours a week in the local co op !! I can relate though ...as im.northern im 48 childfree and have lived down South 20 year but want to go back home NORTH to live but cant as my Sputhern bf wont go with me and the fact he is disabled * he works full time * i woukd feel a total horrific person if i left him.
Does he have other people that could help him some?
Have you noticed, you never see Alex Howard and Sacha Baron Cohen in the same room together?!
She’s partly melancholy… she needs a pet. Is she introvert? Or extroverted. Maybe ambivert or omnivert. Hmmm