Session 3 | Katie | In Therapy with Alex Howard
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- Опубліковано 14 тра 2024
- In Katie’s previous episode, I asked her to complete a piece of homework where she identified her ‘get into jail free’ cards (ways of thinking that invariably put us into psychological jail). In this session, Katie talks me through what she discovered by doing this homework and reflects on how some of the battles she’s fought for her children have really been fought for her inner child instead.
0:00 Welcome to In Therapy
1:12 Catch up with Katie
4:50 Alex and Katie review her progress
8:10 Review of Get Into Jail Free cards
14:07 Recognising the inner child
16:59 The inner critic rejecting the inner child
19:29 When it's too painful to go forward
21:33 Champion of injustice as a response to vulnerable inner child
23:00 You can't resolve inner pain externally
24:21 We relate to ourselves how we were related to
25:52 A realistic commitment to self
28:33 Alex's thoughts and updates
29:32 Coming up next...
In Therapy with Alex Howard follows real-life people on their therapeutic journeys as they grapple with issues like depression, anxiety and chronic illness.
Alex Howard is a London-based Therapeutic Coach dedicated to helping break the stigma around mental health and helping people make real, positive changes in their lives. Alex is also the creator of Therapeutic Coaching and founder of The Optimum Health Clinic and Conscious Life.
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Website: www.alexhoward.com
Instagram: alexhowardtherapy
Facebook: alexhowardtv/
In Therapy is produced, directed and edited by Oliver Halls (Instagram: @oliver.halls) and Rachel Forbes (Instagram: @rae_forbes).
Katie, being her own hero, rescuing herself with the assistance of Alex. Thanks for sharing.
My heart really goes out to this woman I wish I could give her a hug and tell her how much I see her and feel her pain. 😢
Wow! I know that I probably say this all of the time, but all of this completely resonated! It’s only recently that I have discovered that I too have a very harsh inner critic (originally both of my parents). My dad died a few years ago and my mum is only about 1/4 here as she has advanced dementia. Grief is a very heavy emotion to process when one has CFS too. Thanks to Katie and Alex for this. 💜
That was a great session. You were very brave and honest, Katie, thank you for sharing your journey with us.🙂❤
Thank you Katie for your brave honesty, your courage is helping many others who can see their own story in yours. So much encouragement, hope and kindness to you. Really helpful session Alex, look forward to the next.
That’s exactly how I feel! I’ve questioned myself several times, have I damaged my kids, I’m not valuable, I’m worthless, I don’t deserve etc...
Well done Katie, it’s not easy but you are doing so well!! You are speaking for me.... that little girl is trapped but she wants your compassion and naturing which she didn’t receive. Mother wounds are deep!!
I hear you Katie. I see you. I'm on the same journey. Good work.
Such an excellent therapist! Learning so much about myself through witnessing this beautiful healing for Katie.....
Every time I watch one of the In Therapy videos, I learn so much - and heal a little bit more. This series is power-packed. Thank You.
This episode truly reveals your mastery of the therapeutic process. It was so meaningful to witness how you treated the overwhelming moments. Thank you Alex and Katie!
Good to hear good man help in persons. People thanks🙏👍
Thank you Katie for sharing your story. Alex thank you for the session. Q - feeling unsafe as a child moves into adult life - how does it show up in adult life? Defences? Armour? Fight? Flight?
Thanks Katie. My inner child feels that pain. This session was very helpful.
Katie, thank you for your courage! My story follows yours in many ways and I gain strength from you.
Mine too
It's true, we're at our strongest when we're feeling our weakest.
Beautiful
❤️❤️❤️❤️
Going through very similar Katie; SO useful to watch this session to support my own healing journey
Thank you SO much
🙏
What a brave woman!!!! Thank you for sharing. This is so helpful!!
What a lovely session this was. So much raw emotion. I felt what Katie was feeling. Thankyou for sharing this experience freely. I just finished 2.5 years of therapy and this is motivating me to do more 😊
I haven't lived either Katie. I'm the same age as you and as a result of being on continual 'high alert' all my childhood I cannot relax and enjoy a moment, it's like I'm not there. It's all an act, put on so as not to upset my kids - they're all I've ever cared about. I was very close to my older sister when I was a child, she brought fun into my life and gave me respite from the seriousness and depression of living with a violent father and disabled mother. When she came home to visit for a weekend (she's 11 years older than me) I'd be constantly thinking about her going away again and I'd start missing her before she'd even left! I'm the youngest of five btw. I feel this has impacted too on my ability to feel. "Too much to do" like you say, I've always been like that and keeping busy for me has been a way for me to avoid having to be with my thoughts and feelings. I'd love for things to be different xx
Wow! I completely understand this, when I look at the pain in counselling, I feel like I'm going to wail, not be able to stop crying, completely fall apart. I've got to the paint where I almost want the emotion out of me rather trapped inside, but it feels impossible in lockdown when there's no physical presence or comfort from other people.
Yes yes yes … me !! I’ve fought all my life I’ve protected my son because I never had that protection. FIGHT OR FLIGHT … IM LEARNING TO SAY No !!! Boundaries
Thank you both, that was so eye-opening session! You are amazing.
This In Therapy video-series is a real 😅blessing 🎉❤
I wish, in Canada, we had this support.
You for you UK.
Katie, you seem to be getting better.
I wish you well…unfortunately I’m not as fortunate.
Going forward Katie, ❤
Oh my, this is making me cry. That poor inner child 😢
I have watched just a few of your in therapy sessions today, finding them very helpful, so many issues resonating with me - they are helping me to feel my emotions, which as you say is a good start. Thankyou so much!
Thank you Katie, I am right there with you, it's like you grew up in the same house as I did! Your do brave!
Your beautiful inside and out! Thank you for being so brave and sharing your story Katie.
What a wreck i was, listening to this episode. Thank you both, for sharing your lives.
Great episode!
Fantastic episode!
You are such a brave lady Katie ; acceptance comes to mind when I listen to your journey.
When you say it’s two painful to acknowledge the thing that’s causing you pain; I almost here you wanting the pain to go away. And leave you alone!. But you know it’s not that simple and that it is going to take you more effort to fight for who you would like to become. I can see and here things that resonate with myself. Be kind to yourself reward yourself for having the courage to resolving past destructive patterns bit by bit. Warm Hugs
Great session. Great awareness, Kate of how you were neglecting yourself as others have neglected you. I wanted to yell, YES!
Thank you for sharing. I can identify with a lot of what you have said and probably like most people have nowhere to go with it.
Thank you 👏
I can relate very much to the idea of self sabotaging as soon as you are feeling better. I am trying to tell myself that it’s okay to use the energy that I have found for myself and building my life instead of using it to then go back to the patterns that I have been used to (and still, in part, am). It’s a gradual process.
Powerful.
Great insights. Loved Alex's colorful socks.
They would have distracted me on this journey glad someone noticed too 😮
Excellent
The biggest problem with therapy is that the vulnerable weak person is expected to go away and heal themselves on their "own". It's nice to have someone to talk to and listen to you but once you leave the therapy room you are expected to break a lifetime of bad conditioning on your own. That's why therapy doesn't work long term. It should be 24/7 help with someone to walk you through changing your conditioning. I have no doubt the therapist wants to help her but 1 hour of therapy once a week is not going to change anything.
Agreed. This is why 12 step can work so well. Okay it's not professionals but it's people who understand and are on the same path to live better
I can relate.
Katie, your boys future partners will be grateful you set boundaries. You are teaching them how to treat others. If you pander to them they will seek partners who don't have boundaries and there's a risk of abuse. If you love you with respect for you , you show others how to develop healthy relationships with others. BTW don't ever change the core of who you are - you've done nothing wrong. Being scapegated is incredibly painful, yet you are still here still fighting. Its time to put away your shield of battle and take a well earned rest. Warriors need R&R X
I've listened to this session 3 times now! Thank you Katie for your courage in sharing your therapeutic journey with us - you are helping so many people. Alex, I am currently in Week 5 of the February 2021 RESET Program and getting so much out of it - I can't even put into words. This session helped me get a major breakthrough around my Inner Child, Safety and the Energy Depleting Psychologies around all of that. Alex - your point about "…not being able to think your way to a feeling of safety" is a HUGE key for me in connecting the dots. The phrase I always kept telling myself was, "Think your way out!" - so this really resonated for a Windows ME | Tired & Wired person with ME/CFS/PEM and an ACE score of 8. Thank you for your holistic work with these issues and the ways you are reaching people.
The orange socks are back! :-)
Wow its so hard to balance our overthinking and pin ourself down to a calm to learn and not resist enough to hear New idea ...thank goodness Katie is feeling a slow trust with Alex and tuning in enough ..if she can only integrate the little girl with the new Katie ..or get in touch with the Katie that she should have been from the start .
I just survived as well.
I hear ya😢
I also think so many of us carry that little girl and its easier to rescue other than deal with saving ourself .
❤❤❤
Oh Alex couldn't you have let her howl for a while? It felt like a lost opportunity to release pain and feel accepted. I know sessions have deadlines and you need to help your patient contain her feelings, but I don't think she heard a word you said just then.
The issue I have here, respectfully, is that you appear to do most of the talking. You also TELL Katie what her issues are, instead of allowing her to realize them herself. For example, you say 'ultimately that has a price for you, and what you're trying to do' etc,.. You TELL her what the issues are. When it's far better to allow them time to understand this at their own pace.
💜
Katie. We are so alike……..I understand you 22:26
💕🤗
Self sabotage and negative self talk seems to be standard for those who were brutalised as children. I know no matter what scenario i am in i will always think negative and will deliberately destroy any chance I have of success.
Is that how you feel or is it what people are telling you
Is menopause going to be talked about here? I am 50 and soooo emotional. It's menopause.
This crossed my mind too. Katie did mention briefly in her first session that she wondered if her symptoms were hormonal, but I don't think that has been revisited. Of course, identifying hormonal changes wouldn't negate the need to work with her long-standing patterns, but I hope they acknowledge this potential factor.
I agree that hormones may have played a part. I wonder if she had/has thyroid dysfunction. She mentioned in an earlier session that she felt great when she was pregnant, when your pregnant your body does everything to keep the pregnancy, and hormones are more available, meaning homeostasis is key when pregnant.
Knowledgeable but needs to allow this wan to stay in touch and release her emotions before inserting knowledge and cutting of the process of releasing the hurt and allowing her the time to cry and being intuitive when she's done. That many times is the issue with therapy sometimes therapists blocked or not accessible emotionally themselves don't allow or connect for client to go through the feeling process which is big part of healing and not just head knowledge. You can see even the knowledge here is valuable but t it's the feeling process is cut off. He's not allowing for her to feel the hurt fully behind whatever experience she just got in touch with. I feel here it's more about his knowledge and disconnect from the process of her healing emotionally
Beautiful Hanna I wish I had you as a emotional trauma educator I wonder if you could help me my trauma is never ending at 60 hating life so desperate to heal no courage willpower and smoking serious pain but I would be rejected and can’t face it 😢
I find meditation so boring. So, cleaning is my meditation.
Yes, I will go further and say that various forms of housework are or can be acts of "magic." I think they are dismissed as "distractions" by male therapists because they devalue women's work without even recognizing it. That said, ANYTHING can be a distraction if you need it to be. The point of meditation is to get your true inner Self to talk and to do that you have to shut down the chatter of your very clever mind.
I think this beautiful lady should be prescribed HRT immediately! X