3 ways to know that you are FOR SURE not the narcissist
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- Опубліковано 22 бер 2023
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Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental health condition characterized by an inflated sense of self-importance, a need for admiration, and a lack of empathy for others. And here I discuss my own personal experience living with narcissistic personality disorder. Including the symptoms and behaviors associated with this disorder, as well as how it has affected my life. I also share some of my coping strategies and how I have been able to manage the disorder, along with helping you understanding your loved ones and their behaviors that may seem almost incomprehensible and potentially hurtful. Hopefully, my channel will provide insight into what it's like to live with narcissistic personality disorder, as well as what it's like for your loved ones. Thank you for watching!
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#narcissist #clusterB #gaslighting #npd #mentalhealth #BPD #narcissism #narcissisticabuse #gaslighting #mentalhealthawareness
Also if you relate to the narcissist experience on all these things, it doesn't mean you're automatically a narcissist, i've just never met a narcissist who doesn't relate to all of them
Definitely bordering on narcissist.
I wasn't sad when my Nana or Grandad died. But I don't think I saw anyone cry. I think some of us were actually relieved. My grandad died on my 20th birthday, I took it as a compliment.
Hey I have a questlon. Can a narcissist have any kind of healthy relationship at all or no. Whether it be family or friends?
@@anitadorsey2124 I believe we can maintain long term or permanent relationships with some people, however that doesn't mean the relationship is healthy. It's more like we can maintain dysfunctional relationships.
@@over-comer Or the other person is a empath and has no family and was in hospital church facade...being abused over and over...
@@lisacranmer8005 I've heard about some people so controlled by their family that there's no escape. The only way to escape is to become mentally strong, and that's near impossible when any sign of strength is quickly squashed.
Your oppressors are respected by others, everyone assumes that you are the problem.
If you try to reach out for help, they'll tell your oppressors, and your oppressors will make you regret you ever tried. There's no escape.
I noticed narcissists only cry for themselves. Not for others they are poor me crying .
This makes me happy because I cry at everything. Including myself. And those cute baby ducks crossing the road. And kittens being born. And saving kids from balconies 😅😅 Never did I think I would be happy to be a crier 😅
Yup💯! And those who don't understand their ways, feel pity for them.....🙄
I've been crying a lot lately but when no-one is here because it's stressful how my Mrs is and my children feel like I'm pissing in the wind . The main time my Mrs will say anything to me is if she is talking about what to have for dinner and if I've done something wrong in her eyes , like you've opened that bag wrong , I just don't have the energy to say anything about stuff like that anymore .
@@worzel3089 awh bless you, it can be extremely difficult to keep it all in when you are alone. But... should you be crying at all? Please consider yourself and your mental wellbeing because you deserve to be happy alone
You are 💯% right and if you see them crying for someone else they are faking
I love the point you make that differentiates between self love and thinking you are better than others. That's a very important distinction.
Everyone really thinks like this though because it's true. Think about it you would be better at things compared to me and vice versa. I don't think anyone truly thinks they are not better what the difference is in how to integrate that in a healthy way that it doesn't cause problems with people like realising that they too have their strengths and not rubbing it in their face
There are always going to be people bigger better and stronger so to speak
@@darrylkassle361no they don’t because I don’t think that way!!!
@@darrylkassle361idk ik theres some things i may be better than you at, things ive practiced, but im sure theres many things you can do that ive never done so ill be very sloppy
@@darrylkassle361 I actually find this way of thinking so strange. I always just thought that existing is good enough. We are here in this world and exist and that's good. Who even am I to judge someone else like that. Let's say I'm actually better at a skill that I practised or get a higher result in an iq test. That doesn't actually say much about who I am. Maybe someone isn't that smart, but loving and makes people smile. Everyone has worth. So it doesn't matter. We are all worthy simply because we exist.
Being the best at something can be a temptation for Ego, but not with a healthy outlook on reality. Developing an ego saved me, keeping it in check was and is the most important part.
“Narcissists think hierarchically.” 🎯
fucking narcs are everywhere. way more than 5% of the population is comprised of narcs.
That is what I hate about them
And that’s what I love about JESUS -He stated plainly “It shall not be so among you.”
Reminds me of the Podcaster spewing high value😂
In my opinion, all humans need hierarchy. So I'm not sure about that one
Also, if you’re worried that you could be a narcissist… you’re not one
I'm not sure if that's true. As with other people, some narcissists are more self-aware than others.
Lmaooo who knows..it sucks to feel like maybe you couldve been one..theres someone who said. If we arent with someone who meets our needs or values. Then we can become narcissistic. Especially not having boundaries too. And i think maybe thats true. Because i became toxic to my ex. When he made up 3 different stories for why he slipped up his exes name in bed..like i started to change..and he didnt like that..then blaming me how he was happier before he met me and how i was then the worse hes ever had...lol im like okay bro..i know why im pushing for the truth. Cuz the relationship mattered and being honest is something i value..no matter what it is. Theres no excuse to lie..unless. its eating yogurt. And someone is looking for it. Thats not that important. But not telling someone youre still talking to your ex...thats something else..and then expecting your current partner to trust your word is crazy making...and then saying you didnt say certain things in the past when i remember them exactly that way..im like i deserved better than that...and it was worse cuz i told him about my past i put everything on the table and he still didnt tell me about how he was still talking to his ex...and then blamed me for ruining something 'perfect' lol im like well i guess he doesnt think about growth. Just growing old with someone who never opens their mouths about things that arent okay their partners are doing...idk man maybe im crazy..
Well said.
i feel like i am i don’t know if i am i’m so scared
I didn't think I was one. I was actually doing research on my current boyfriend who showed narcissist traits. Upon my research I realized that I'm actually the narcissist, because the thing with narcissists is that they assume everyone else is one...
Its hard to not appreciate and respect the honesty.
Not really. He's likely "grandious." They are quite "honest" about being narcacistic. The only difference between grandious and otherwise is rattler vs cobra. And you have also just fallen for his grandiose stratagem: I'm honest about it, so I'm how can I be the bad guy. Love me, why don't you! Admire me!
I know right ,it makes me want to help them . Like what bad happened to them to case such pain. There pain causes me to painfully care. It sucks
Not hard for me. He’s a proud scumbag.
Umm no it isnt
@@sfletch3042 you're entitled to your small opinion. But I'm entitled to mine. And if you think otherwise, then maybe you're the actual narc in your life. How outrageous for one small minded pissant could speak for all people that suffer like he does. I feel bad for whoever has to share your bloodline.
At funerals I'm not sad because I don't really enjoy living. So death isn't the worst. But seeing a father mourning their child gets me.
Wait until you meet the fear of death YOURSELF. Then you will realize something is bigger and mo= powerful than your nasty little self wondering the earth making sure to give others a hard time cuz your unable to experience joy. It's one thing to e who u are it's another thing to hurt others. For who they are.
Wtf. Not enjoying living is your fucking issue. Fix it NOW! If you need help, I can assist. No I’m not God, and I also don’t give a fuck about your problems. But I do know soluations
I also don't cry for the person who died because they don't feel pain anymore, but I start crying immediately when I see their family, because I feel their loss, how much they miss the dead relative...
What if it was your child? Would you show emotion?
I'm not depressed but I am ready to leave this life... this world is a horrible place, we've really screwed things up here
I’m basically going to give this guy supply by telling him that I appreciate how brave he is by getting up as a diagnosed narcissist and talking about how much narcissism sucks 😂
:)
if it ain't me
I don't trust any narcissists. Even "self aware" ones. They are the embodiments of lies and deceit. This guy does not jump on to be "brave," he does it for clicks and veiws and for self grandiosity.
Yeah especially since they're the favorite punching bag for girl vloggers and popsco clout chasers lately
😂
Wow, very insightful… this is helpful for the people out there being gaslit to death thinking they’re actually the narc because their narcissistic partner has said so.
Yes!
I’ve been gas lit all my life and pushed to the side and I gas light also I think the only difference is that these people don’t want to get recovery help and I actually do. 🤷♀️
Wait what?
Its true. If youre with an abusive narcissist, after awhile you tend to take on the same traits for self preservation. They're like a contagious infection that everyone needs to just stay away from.
This hit me hard. I was in a long-term relationship with someone (the majority of 12.5 years, age 19 to 32) who turned out to be what I'd say is narcissistic. Towards the end of our relationship, I felt like I was not myself - like I'd taken on some of his traits and his misery, and it took a while to get back to myself. He made me feel like a horrible, selfish person, like maybe I was the problem, I was to blame. These days I feel much better and more free, more open-minded and happy.
...Unfortunately, my mom may be narcissistic too, and also makes me feel like a selfish, bad person at times, even after I know all I've done for her and my family as a whole, sometimes having to step in and act as the parent when my parents weren't. I'm much better at protecting myself now though, and I've learned to distance myself when I need to in order to maintain my mental health. I'm also in therapy, which helps me a lot and is something I look forward to going to every couple weeks. I tell my therapist everything and welcome her feedback and suggestions. I hope to improve more overtime and get to a healthier state of mind, especially before I start a family of my own. I worry I'll revert to behaving like my mother, but I just want a healthy, strong relationship with my children, if I have any.
My current boyfriend loves and supports me and wants what's best for me, but I don't think he fully understands what I've been through and that I've pretty much hit my limits. He tells me all the time that I should spend more time with my mom - I wish I could, because I do love her, but I can only take her in small doses at this point. I don't think she'll ever change and perhaps she's becoming more narcissistic with age, because now she loves to tell me how much more life experience she has and that she basically knows more about everything and knows what's best. It's becoming more and more her way or no way, and she hates when I defend myself or go against her train of thought. For me it becomes very draining. Maybe if I sit down with her and tell her exactly how I've been feeling it'll make a difference - but I'm afraid it would just set us back to where we were a couple years ago when I went no contact with her, for about 6 mouths, and my brother who lives with her and was enabling/defending her. He sometimes feeds off of her and takes on some of her behavior; it's a cycle.
Ughh... anyways. Enough venting... Thank you for your comment. Gaslighting is a big problem and a terrible form of abuse that can really make someone feel crazy. I'm glad I learned about it a few years ago while going through my breakup and am better at identifying and calling it out now. Be well~
I used to be a narcissist until I went through a huge spiritual awakening and been working every since on becoming socialised. Pretty much raised myself again and learned the things I didn't get to learn as a kid. Really hard, but definitely worth it.
It sounds like you weren't clinically diagnosable with NPD, but perhaps just had strong narcissistic traits, or traits that appeared similar to those of a narcissist, but that didn't stem from the same sort of psychosis. Or, perhaps you just hadn't matured emotionally yet.
@@BasedRanger all narcissists haven't matured emotionally. That's what they are--emotionally immature humans. Your comment, telling this other person how they are wrong in describing themselves, based on such little information, is shocking. I wonder what happened inside of you that motivated you to do that.
@@BasedRangerI don't think it's impossible for a narcissist to change... But it HAS to be internally driven. Don't negate her experience just because she got better. It takes a lot for a person with THAT LEVEL of toxicity to admit that they did it all themselves and address it. Who are you to come in and say "it couldn't have been real, then". How do you know? Did you live with her and it "wasn't that bad?"... Or do you personally know a narcissist and need to convince yourself that they're incapable of changing in order to make yourself feel better about the fact that they wouldn't change FOR YOU?
I can't understand how a narcissist can go through a healing process.
Because usually they are cinvinced that they are better than other humans.
And have that deep feeling inside of being wothless.
Which is why they created this person in the first place.
I can't imagine that you can look this situation in the eye and recognize it.
How was that possible?
And did you take this step?
@@Janis_Even personally, I feel like anyone who has "narcissistic tendencies" falls within the "spectrum" of it being a personality "disorder". And with ANY learned behaviors, a NEW way CAN be learned... But it ALL has to be internally driven by the person attempting to change. They first have to recognize and accept the reality of who and what they are, and then they have to in turn, systemically address the personal behavioral patterns that make up the disordered or "toxic" expression of their ego. I have fragile narcissistic tendencies myself (not a full blown narc, but it's there enough for me to cringe at myself hard when I catch it), and it's galling to admit how HARD it is to be honest with myself when I'm playing the martyr.
His videos not only help me understand narcissists but also fill me with immense gratitude for being able to feel emotions deeply and form connections with people.
It all goes back to our parents. Toxic parenting teaches us to have a toxic & abusive relationship with ourselves.
Only if you remain in their bubble. I went no contact & grey rock with our narcissistic mother. Followed by professional therapy & online research to finally lead a healthier life with healthy genuine relationships. I was a fool blinded by love & I had to own that too as a contributing factor to the narcissistic abuse I tolerated. Knowledge is power in more ways than one.
@@stargazer7341 Good job. I'm trying to do the same. :/
This really baffles me... Narcs are less than 1% of the people. 74% of the narcs are men YET.... Reading all the comments ??? EVERYONE has a narc Mom. Someone explain this? OR is MOM the easy target to bash ? Literally the math is not on your side.
Only you are responsible for what you do. No buts, ifs or becauses.
No I think its in the genes. They never change from children to old people. and you see it run in families. Even where they have been adopted and brought up in different environments just like dyslexia, tendancy for
depression, seem to run in families.
I told him the stress is aging me he proceeds to tell me about his face. Wow.
Forget having a real-life conversation.
You're stunning..just saying!
They do age you.. they are the ones truly wasting away though. If they don't check themselves...they will wreck themselves. And fade away
Sometimes people talk about themselves more when they're depressed. Doing charity work, for starters, can help.
Lol well mine said i am 'ugly on the inside' and yes he said HE is the victim eventhough it is he who yells at me almost non stop, about nothing
My ex narcissist could cry 'on demand ' and recover remarkably quickly! 😂😂
Run Forest Run!
Your ex should put the ability to professional use 🤣🤣 i see so much potential for $$$$$$$
I've seen that with a mexican narc woman I was with once.
It's hard to understand Narcissism since they only address the behaviors of a Male Narcissist. How about women?
Most narcissists that I know became that way either through unwarranted parental pedestal placing and entitlement or some form of childhood abuse. I think we all have narcissistic tendencies but at some point we learn to step outside of ourselves and develop socially acceptable behaviors and responses. Prayers for those working on self awareness. We are all in this lifelong type of journey.
I am narcissist as well and we have to almost fake emotions sometimes to emulate them in a certain ways to gain attention. I only time I’ve ever genuinely cried was when my father passed or only like 3 times. But I question that because was I just trying to get attention as well?
I always think about the hierarchy as well, which thinks you’re more important than everyone else. It’s not a two way street relationship, which is why my ex gf broke up with me cause she saw the real side of me, which she deserves someone who values her worth and is a better person. Than the last thing is self-worth, we don’t love ourselves but we have the need to use others for our inherit worth. We are the best actors in the world half the time. Currently receiving therapy and all the people in my life cut me off almost so it’s kind of a blessing cause now I’m ready to make changes. We also see others disposable and narcs never stay with the same people. They float around all the time. Play the victim card. Ok I am done, goodbye.
You flatter yourself by saying you are good actors. Those patterns are quite recognisable.
Thank you for sharing.
I hope one day you can find peace and maintain healthy relationships. It’s especially hard when the relationship goes sideways. But it’s possible! Best of luck
Cool. My husband of 15 years is a narcissist. Info I wish I had 15 years ago
hope you get out
Took me 38 years to figure it out!
Run....as fast as you can....
Ya you're most likely the narcissist. All you women say the same crap. Calling the man a narcissist is the go to accusation 95% of you women do.
@@pinkpugginz typical all the women commented on this. You women are foolish and anti man and anti Christ and anti marriage.
Try and get out before he completely ruins your psyche. 15 years is too long. If you have to live with him, just develop a good emotional shield. Walls up, and careful you dont say too much (the way they use it as ammo later). Thats what i have to do for now.
Everything about a narcissist is fake, they don’t care about anyone but themselves, like he says they think they are better, but actually they are very insecure
No I am actually better. And it’s not true that narcs don’t care about anyone else, you’re making that up to fit your idiotic fantasy
Very insecure
everything is fake
Your conclusion after learning people with NPD are actually very insecure due to trauma, and that they develop grandiose fantasies/facades in order to cope is that they are fake about EVERYTHING? People with NPD are still human beings at the end of the day, they are just people who have been traumatized and ended up with a mental disorder.
I would highly recommend trying to understand the disorder more deeply from youtubers like Heal NPD or the NPD reddit. People with NPD can still care about others sincerely, they are not demons or mythical creatures- just people with mental disorders who deserve the opportunity to recover like anyone else.
Yea we are insecure
First sign you’re a narcissist: You wear sunglasses inside a building…SMH
I’ve noticed that. They come on with sunglasses, with a permanent frown/stank face
@@Tempusverum the guy is the video is wearing sunglasses inside…
@@andrewbrandenburg3842
Yup i know many
Completely untrue. Sometimes you do that because the light hurts or because you are emotional at different times, or you have anxiety.
I have genuine emotions, but I don’t love myself! I was raised by a psychopathic narcissistic aunt who always put me down! And the dad thing is :When people raised you put you down long enough, you starting to believe them!
*Sad thing
I can totally relate to this but my father passed a couple of years ago and I realized that my parents, especially my father had the problem and that they were wrong to treat me that way and that I didn’t deserve to be.
Ye. Thats trauma. I thought i was an autist. I thought i was a narcissist. Turns out i am just better than average people (gifted in iq) and traumatized as fuck. Try therapy :) helps me a lot.
@@wadenbeisser2491 just like me
So sorry you went through that please remind yourself that your spirit is made from God and will go back to God and just try to enjoy all the beauty around you you can do the best that you can and love yourself for that reason you deserve love and blessings we are love❤😊
I do recall everytime I wanted to share how I struggled with something, he'd always try to one-up my pain with his. He never really gave attention to, or took my feelings into perspective. He'd just constantly talk about himself.
Thanks for your courage to talk about this hidden taboo. Do continue raising awareness…
Thanks, this means I’m most definitely not a narcissist!
That internal monologue though 😢
I think most of us have this inner criticus
Maybe less mean and frequent idk.
They say we internalize our parents' and other's negative words towards us.
The difference is perhaps that the narcissists measures it with
his superior role ( you are better than the others, how can you be this stupid).
I remember saying a few times for him to stop fake smiling at me…unknowing what I do now
to whoooo
Question: Do individuals suffering from NPD genuinely believe they are superior to others or is it simply a facade to mask their underlying insecurities? I ask this because I've noticed that people with NPD often have a fragile sense of self-esteem and spend a considerable amount of time worrying about how others perceive them. The constant need for admiration is a well-known trait of NPD, whether it is obvious from each individual case or not. However, doesn't this need for external validation suggest that they cannot find it within themselves?
It is puzzling to me that the belief in one's superiority contradicts the presence of deep-seated insecurities. Could it be that individuals with NPD lack the ability to engage in the necessary self-reflection to distinguish between their sense of superiority and their underlying insecurities? I know as humans, we all have egos that function as a form of self-protection. Thus, I previously assumed that individuals with NPD develop a massive and unchecked ego as a means of self-protection.
I am particularly curious to hear your thoughts on this matter.
It’s really complicated. We believe it but we need constant reassurance that it’s true, and we can easily fall into periods of self hate if we don’t get the self esteem juice we crave.
But you’re on the money, once resent neurological study actually suggests people like me have less connectivity between areas of the brain related to self and areas related to pleasure. So we’re forced to get it externally
I always say, I don’t understand how people know who they are without people telling them
From our path and choices and personal history
I think that narcissism is a defense mechanism. They adopt this mindset to cope with pain. I think they're avoiding certain emotions so deeply that they have to believe that theyre better than most people.
@@jacobmartincontreras As someone with NPD, yes, this a pretty basic way of putting it. In fact, most studies find that people with NPD or narcissistic tendencies have faced neglect, physical/emotional abuse, and no form of unconditional love (like from a mother or someone like that, say) I received my unconditional love from 2 people in my life, and even then, with their own disorders, it felt flimsy at times when they would chase me off and scream at me for existing as a mere child. Or the whole rest of my family who wanted nothing to do with me, no matter how hard I tried to please them as a kid (my own father being one of them) Again, these aren't excuses, but it does give potential explanation to the disorder and it's origins. It's also thought to be at least somehow partially genetic.
Some of us feel emotions, and real genuine ones too. We feel remorse, sadness, love, happiness, anger, ect. But one of our biggest emotions is literally fear and is what sends out all our flares of 'being better' and such. God forbid someone see us as a normal person with flaws, and someone noticing those flaws brings fear.
But with the other emotions, what I've found in myself personally, and I've met other diagnosed narcissists who feel the same, is we feel the need to PUSH the emotions to a further outward level, because we don't want to be seen as emotionless. You know that throbbing feeling that you get in your chest when something really heartbreaking happens? (aka heartbreak lol) I get that, and it's a true feeling. But if I'm literally at a funeral and not crying with everyone else, I feel 'not good enough' and such, so I've trained myself to force tears to my eyes. It only works if I'm sad, but it's still a form of facade, even if I am truly upset. The fact I had to fake what should be a normal human function to emotion makes me feel less equal to anyone else, when my disorder literally makes me feel the need to be superior.
I hope that made sense! Sorry if it doesn't, it's really hard to explain, as namelessnarcissist said above.
Yeah that sounds like me... God i hate that im like this...
Be proud of yourself for taking accountability and sharing to help us
Bravo
Wow, coming from someone with bpd I couldn’t imagine not feeling love towards anyone or void of any type of emotions.
I love your hair!
i (HPD, NPD) often feel things very shallowly and display them dramatically, but that doesnt mean i never feel emotions, it just means they arent too often very strong
ive been in relationships, been in love, cherished people with everything in me, and i even still love those people
it just might not feel or look like how other people experience those things, but i do experience them
@@av201you should talk to the DSM about making that part of the diagnostic criteria 🙄
@@stillnotstill As a person with a PhD in psychology her comment is valid and consistent with DSM content. You may not understand the nuances associated with some PDs. There is no place for your bullying here.
I just found your channel. You are a blessing. You are sharing insight I value.
They do have a mindset of 'better' than everyone else,
No they don’t
They hate themselves too
Meanwhile.. they can't handle the smallest tiny rejection and just grow. It's sad honestly. I pity them
@@dallymoo7816 Yep. They tend to immediately (and even pre-emptively) flip the script as a response to rejection or criticism, acting as if they've been wronged. They are never truly the ones at fault. If someone has an issue with them, it's the other person that's a problem, it's the other person that needs to change.
They think they’re better but they don’t love themselves.
Absolutely true. Self love is important and achievable. It comes from within.👍🙏❤️😇
1: Authentic Emotions
2: Everyone Has Equal Worth
3: Love Yourself
I hate the comments. If you advocate for mental health, you advocate for ALL. Someone being a narcissist doesn't mean they are automatically a bad person. Don't forget that this is cluster B personality disorder that is trauma induced. He is sharing his experience, he is educating people.
Well said
@@user-fo6tk1dw2lyou know what YOUR comment tells me about YOU?
Let me tell you, it's not fucking pretty
I can see the split between you and me more clearly! Thank you for that.
it’s very useful hearing a narcissist being honest about their condition. The belief system is harmful to humanity by at large so it’s not the best choice. You can work on having different beliefs. It’s something you’re capable of doing. A belief is a thought you agree with repetitively. Narcissism may be a mental illness and still there are many ways you can heal it with your mind and choices.
It’s not a mental illness it’s a spiritual illness. Narcissists are predominantly possessed. They are demonic. They switch everything around white is black, black is white, the mock, copy cat and steal. Literally walking demons
Why do narcissists love empathy abundant people? Why not their own ?
Empathic people care for the wellbeing and fuel the narcissist. Narcissist love what others do for them, because they think they deserve it. Entitled. If you do not do things for them they get offended, bevause they think they are entitled to your giving nature.
Narcissist will seldom choose people like them because they do not care about their wellbeing, growth and do not give to a narcissist the care they feel entitled to.
Because empaths can sense the narcissist's emotions and because they want everyone around them (i.e. the narcissist) to feel good
@@heide-raquelfuss5580 about narcissists not choosing people like them:
Really depends on the flavor of narcissist. Because "being a good partner" is a virtue, some narcissists can use their narcissism to be a great partner.
Also, plenty narcissists will choose another narcissist, because they allign so well in terms of fundamental beliefs, like "status is everything".
@@kayjay7585
What happens if one gets sickly, they have a baby or more, or/and a dog/cat.
Or their parents get sick/old/traumatized by something.
I allways see the family getting toxic/ugly in numerous ways and progressive nasty and all familymembers suffer, including dogs, cats, any animal in the household.
I also see narcissists with non narcissists and it ends horrible too.
I think...primates like we all are, are not good friends mostly.
The few 'good' ones end up horrible traumatized by just living in this world between us primates.
Only dogs and cats, other animals seem to be able to be also capable to be or become the greatest compagnons.
I see that in their eyes and the soul they have and how they behave socially.
They understand something humans do mostly not.
Dogs are compassionate.
They have no empathy. The empathetic part of the brain in narcissists is extremely small and their amygdala (fight or flight) is huge which is opposite of most humans. But the really interesting thing is that if you stay with a narc long enough the same thing happens to your brain - you become like them. Which goes to show the realities of God's word: Bad company corrupts good morals. They will never change because they are unable to self reflect and grow. They are broken vessels filled with unclean spirits who direct their actions (unbeknownst to themselves) to steal, kill, and destroy God's people who have the light of the spirit. Once you truly see the emptiness inside them and what they truly are - a vapid pit of nothingness- they will run away because they hate exposure. They've been playing their poisonous game all their life causing wreckage everywhere they go but it's never their fault. They can go on thinking they are better than everyone but the truth is they will burn like everyone else who serves the devil's agenda.
That’s really fascinating to here, thank you for opening up to us about this. I have a lot of empathy for others but I do often have to fake caring about things because I’m often too tired to bring myself to care, it makes me feel narcistic but I really just have insomnia
Im glad people are able to be so open and honest about it, since im very interested rested in these topics
I fake emotions, think hierarchically and think I’m better than other people while still thinking in a failure too - I think that’s bad
It's relief to know I'm not a narcissist then cuz for a minute I thought I was!!!!! 😂
Great pinpoint! 🎯 Its very very difficult to understand - I try to put myself in those shoes - but damn - I can’t comprehend!
I realize: any advice given from me to a narcissist, will probably not be understood! 🤦♀️
On point ! " The narcissist sees everyone in a hierarchy. "
Im not sure. I know everyone has inherent value. We came to earth with nothing, we leave with nothing, and yet in society we clearly have classes and reputations. As children we look up to our parents and teachers and elders. We report to our managers at work. We help those who are less fortunate or handicapped. Sounds hierarchical to me. Am I missing something, or have I just proven my narcissism?
@@over-comer Intent is what you are missing.
When they they “love you” it’s not the person their talking to but themselves. They love themselves. Be careful what is said because it will be used against you later.
I believe when they say I love you, they really mean " I use you"!!
@@1stBorn538no that's not true
We don't use every single person on earth
We love atleast one
Like for me its my mother i love most and care about nobody else
That's not true in the least. We literally do not like ourselves at all lmfao. We HATE ourselves. Did you even watch the video lol. Our outside personality is a facade and shield.
And we do have a select few people we love. And we tend to guard them and hang onto them like a leech in fear of abandonment.
NPD is a disorder defined by self hate and extreme low self worth. People with NPD have learned to cope through grandiose fantasies that they are better than others but this feeling they have is made out of desperation, as often times without this facade they become extremely suicidal, hopeless, or feeling like there is no reason to live. It is a cope made out of a desire to survive.
As a NPD I WISH I loved myself. I hate myself more than anybody. Please try to be aware that NPD is a mental disorder like any other, they are not demons, they are people who are struggling.
My emotions are genuine. My best friends grandmother lived with him in her final days while we were in high school. I knew her for about a year but she barely knew me due to dementia. When she did recognize me she was excited I was there & it always made me happy to interact with her and talk with her. I always helped get from bed to her chair & back via lifting her for a year. When she passed, even though I didn’t truly know her due to dementia I was devastated. I was crying harder than most at her funeral. She will always be remembered through my memories of her.
You just described my housemate. He is a nightmare for the rest of us living in the house. I'll absolutely use this to guide me when looking for new people to live with. He never cared that he attacked us, put our tenancy at risk.. Told people I'm a bad person bc I refused to pay for the bills the month where I left due to his aggressive behaviours... He thinks he owns the house and his needs are more worthy than ours. He never once showed genuine emotions for anyone but himself, mainly about how great he is.
Narcissism sounds lonely, and like people living with it are missing the symphony of human experience such as the highs and lows, honest insight to the self, and growth. I wish you the best on your recovery and management dude. You're channel has reminded me to be compassionate, but to also keep the hell away from my housemate.
because I am autistic I do not see things in hierarchy. but I can get quite hung up on this everyone is equal thing. sort of the same way that a non-autistic narcissist gets hung up on hierarchy. it's that black-and-white thinking I guess but I built so much of my ego around the idea of equality and I would fight for it in such a black-and-white way that I literally believed people who believed in hierarchy were playing Make-Believe and I couldn't accept that this was a real construct that really impacted my life therefore it is real. the reason I now recognize this as narcissistic is because I used it to judge other people. people who participated in hierarchy were caught in The Matrix and therefore were less than me. but I never ever phrased it that way to myself or to other people because that violated my values. but I did use it to write people off as not worthy of talking to. it was the platform on which I felt Superior even though I lied to myself about that feeling. it was sort of a victim stance. people do not like me because they are not evolved enough to understand me
this happened to me until I realized, I realized it wasn't very logical cause I was doing the same thing I thought was bad (the excuse to write people off), and I also started to see how I fell on those cause of internalized x y or z and how it's perfectly explainable about me and about others so I went about constructing a more equal place with more compassion... I say it really easily here in just one paragraph, but this was years process haha
Been through the same pattern
interesting..
Damn sounds like my husband that I've been separated from for the past year. I'm not saying that in anger but in deep sadness. He only sees in black and white, no gray areas to that man
Well, it is in itself a very narcissistic way of thinking, but there are many things that cause narcissistic traits without actually making someone an actual narcissist (that is to say, someone with genuine npd). Many, many people (if not most) have some sort of narcissistic traits or ways of thinking, but that doesn't truly make them narcissists...if you get my meaning. Autistic individuals like yourself do tend to think in more black and white terms because...well...your brains are simply wired to do so 🤷♀️. You tend to be literal thinkers, and often take things at face value. I'm not saying this is inherently good or bad, it's just simply a fact. It can cause issues if that thinking gets a bit more extreme, yes (like what you gave as your own example), but it definitely doesn't make you anything close to a true narcissist. I've known people with npd, and what this man in the vid is giving is such a small snapshot that honestly one could even confuse it with antisocial personality disorder because he could also be describing a sociopath 🤷♀️ (fun fact, all sociopaths are narcissists, but not all narcissists are sociopaths lol). There's so much more to npd, and I'm sure he knows that, but in just this small vid it's so hard to convey. Narcissistic thinking is so much more twisted and deeper than what this goes into...give me the black and white of a high functioning individual with autism's way of thinking anyday lol 😜❤.
Thank you. I *really* appreciate your honesty and your bravery.
"you're better than all these other people, how could you be so stupid?" is SO real
I can't imagine feeling and thinking this way all the time. That’s a tough burden to carry. I wish you continued healing and a wonderful life. ❤
You are helping so many people. I pray you are healing even as you help us heal.
Yes my emotions are all genuine. No I don’t believe in hierarchy…and am getting better at self love.
You have done the hardest thing, admitted you are a narcissist and now that you have accepted your problem,time to fix it!
There is no fixing it and there is no help
Im so glad to hear this. My ex still has me thinking in circles, feeling guilty, wondering at times if i am what he is, and maybe i just had it twisted. I definitely did not have it twisted.
Wow; these people exist? Self aware narcissists! Hey, atleast he is trying to better himself
I'm a little skeptical of these types of narc accounts because very few narcs are self-aware. They know their behavior is wrong (notice how they're usually normal to an audience and mean behind closed doors). But their toxic defense mechanisms are deeply ingrained in their personality and they genuinely think everything is wrong with everybody else. They don't take accountability and very little ability to self-reflect.
Thank you
Good to hear this, dealing with one for 2 years and then he ghosted me, and made me doubt myself a million times.
If you don't care, don't. So long as you're not actively causing harm in people's lives there is nothing wrong with that. Care less about how other people think you should be.
There is hierarchy in life, there is order. You can have this without thinking that one position is better than another, they're all of equal worth, they all serve a purpose. And again, so long as you're not abusing those below you it's not a problem.
Self love starts with loving others. Do good deeds for others that don't benefit you, at all. When you understand the importance of loving and helping others you will begin to manifest that for yourself. Love will become a endless well inside of you so long as you keep giving it away.
You're not really a narcissist if you can see that you're a narcissist. You just need a little rewiring, I suspect you're actually an empath.
Welp, I checked the first box, because I usually don't feel anything, but not so much the other two.
The one about hierarchical thinking is true when it comes to _types_ of people, and I'm also highly conscious of pecking orders, but I don't have a baseline belief that allows for enough increments to accommodate 7.8bil different slots on a hierarchy.
The grandiosity thing doesn't have internal dialogue, but sometimes I do feel like I _should_ be the most inherently competent in a group, and I am attuned to information that improves or hurts my optics or that of my competition, but I am in no way bound by an existential need to be intrinsically better than others.
I think I have some narcissistic traits, but not a diagnosed narcissist. I think everyone has a little bit of narcissism to be completely honest!
That’s not an opinion.. that’s a fact. There is a difference… because there’s a spectrum. And anyone who has experienced a full blown narc KNOWS the difference.
Keep it going brother. I see you and your journey. I am not trying to manipulate or deceive you, but I want to form a bond between people like us striving to be better for the ones that are still around. As you know, we unfortunately tend to push everyone away, and I am paying close attention now to how I view the world. It's convoluted and backwards because of the way I was taught the world worked. Thank you, Nameless. ❤
At first I thought my ex “best friend” just SUCKED at taking accountability and was socially awkward as hell. Rolled with it. Till he kept talking about people he’d interact with like they were martians or something. I asked him why he talked about people like that (simple question, was not framed as an attack in any way) and he immediately goes on defense mode “I don’t need anyone”. Then he threw a pitty party for himself but for once in our friendship he was honest, said he hated himself. He then started crying, I started to pat him on the back and told him we all kinda feel that way about ourselves.. but then he turns to me and says “ I want to cry but I can’t” which honestly freaked me out. He ALWAYS wore sunglasses and it was nighttime so I couldn’t really see if he was actually crying but for him to pretend to cry and then telling me he couldn’t cemented the fact that he was in deed a narcissist. It was so embarrassing being his friend because he’d go around wearing an FBI shirt and claimed he was a federal agent in the past when I kid you not he couldn’t form a coherent sentence to save his life. Everything he said was choppy and full of lies that he himself couldn’t even keep up with. Even when I’d lay out all the facts to unravel his lies he’d act so cocky like i was the dumb one that just didn’t understand things from his view. I’ve had my fair share of narcissists but I had never met one as arrogant as him and for some reason that made it worse. I hate being an empath and feeling sorry for him to begin with. I hate that I gave him chance after chance because I wanted to see the good in him that just wasn’t there to begin with. Every “nice” thing he ever did for me was just so he could have a shot with me, he never actually cared for me…or anyone really.
We don't know who narcissists are. We are all that way, more or less.
Wrong! Narcissist are truly different-admit or not😮
Disturbing content warning: I write this to help narcissists. ☠️☠️☠️
I saw my sister get broken and destroyed and wow it takes a lot to tear apart the goodness and purity of a child. She struggled for a while, cried and begged and stopped eating and bathing for a week or more, and the trauma was too much and her mind snapped. It was like something that was pure evil took over. Her eyes were crazy and black and I was quite afraid of her. Imagine my shock watching this transformation and yelling at my parents to do something but they beat me for getting angry at them. Then she was suddenly fine but oh so different. I was spared from the same fate because I saw it all and I hated my parents. That was my armor. I sure went through a ton of abuse. They tried to break my spirit time and time again. She has no memory of what happened. It was regarding severe animal abuse and the animals died.
She’s a born again Christian now and much better but still surrounded by horrible people who manipulate her and bring those demons back to the surface to control her.
I was an atheist for more than 40 years but now I think there was something terribly evil intentionally happening to that long ago sweet, innocent child.
Ouch. May you be blessed with an overflow of healing dear.
💜💕🙏🔥👑🔥🙏💕💜
Thanks for the insight. Massively appreciate self-aware narcissists speaking about this sort of stuff.
I think all people are people but I do think some people have higher/lower standards and morals.
This. It's not so much a hierarchy but I have a tendency to judge people as either worth hanging out with or not based on a combination of their morals and how they treat me. I don't really think that's narcissistic, I think it's a logical way to assess whether people should be in your life or not.
@@Yeetcannon777 me too. I want people with good morals and goals in my life. I’ll be there for people but as soon as they start affecting my mental health ……bye!
Yessss!!
I dis agree I think narcissist defined by their Jealousy and intentions towards others
Oh okay cool, glad you disagree, glad you're the expert
praise the Lord I’m not a Narcissist, when you have had many narcissist, relationships you start to wonder if you are one as well because trauma take a toll and you pick up traits of those you spend time with.
Thank You.
I never fake emotions, I think that all people have value, I love myself.
The man I was around..had the spirit of Jezabel and I know it! There is no way that at the age of 51 that I was seduced by his sexual skills skills and got addicted...and yes he was violent but not sexually violent!
Same here a horrible experience. We will recover .God is in control
MY own was a jezebel and bisexuality it was real difficult to leave
It used to frustrate my ex that I'd stop and talk with the homeless people near our house. We are all equals and we all deserve respect.
You opened my eyes tonight. Maybe you don't want to hear it but you matter too.
He feels better than every else. He naturally feels above everybody else. He matters. He matters and he know this.
@@heide-raquelfuss5580did you hear the part in the video at the end where he was talking about self-love versus grandiosity?
Do you know that people talk about narcissists like they aren't human beings?
Do you think being a little kind to somebody who hasn't hurt you personally is a terrible thing cuz you're acting like it's a terrible thing
Good on you for being self aware.
You make us sound like bad people, when really we're just better.
Diagnosed Borderline Personality Disorder here🙋♀️(In therapy for a year, twice a week with a BPD specific specialist). Do you think that Narcissistic Personality Disorder is actually adaptive and an evolutionary advantage in society? I know a lot of really genuinely highly intelligent successful people with NPD who seem really good at "letting things go" like it's "so cool". It seems to be an asset in the workplace, in social settings, and at home. The ability to dominate others and the interest and ability to seek and obtain power and admiration from the masses seems highly adaptive and valued in this world in a dystopian sort of way. I'm no longer convinced it isn't the better way to live, even if they "hate themselves inside". Well I hate myself plenty too as a BPD, but dang I don't have a hell of a lot going for me like a narcissist does! Maybe I'm just jealous of narcissists because I'm more openly dysregulated?🤷♀️
THIS! I would be interested in hearing his input and even watching a video on this topic. Narcissistic traits are definitely celebrated in social and work environments. I see it as an advantage from the outside looking in. I’m also on the BPD end of the Cluster B spectrum and my symptoms haven’t led me to much success. Whereas, my childhood friend (suspected NPD) has accomplished so much, dated a bunch of women, and has gotten a government job that pays him six figures all before the age of 30. I have sabotaged pretty much all chances at a social life and career.
It is true BPDs are more openly disregulated and that is rough. As much as people hate on Narcissists, society really does encourage and champion narcissistic behavior.
“Please…be narcissistic but not THAT narcissistic.” 😂 Sorry for the rant but I think about this often myself.
Y'all are gonna hate me cause I'm going to bring communism to the table and y'all might not understand what I'm trying to say if you don't already believe what I do, so... keep that in mind, but...
I think that what you said isn't a natural "advantage" or "evolutionary trait" necessarily in any given society. I think that the illusion of individuality we created in capitalism and its never ending battle royale for survival and monetary advantage would make that work and it definitely encourages and rewards it. However I don't think this is actually good for humanity to not cooperate to the survival and happiness of everyone (as we do have the resources, they're just in the hands of a few that "alienate" the workers from the fruit of their labor (this is saying basically that we don't get paid fairly, that the oligarchy is basically stealing from workers, and I get the concerns about "but what about economic growth" and all that but I just think it comes from us not being able to imagine a cooperative system where that growth isn't even necessary to begin with cause everyone is doing kinda all right). Also from this "being in capitalism for so long so we're not even able to not think of it as natural" could infiltrate how we think about human nature and the suggestions scholars have made that capitalism is inherent to human nature, however cooperation has also been talked about being natural to human beings and I think it's worthy checking that point of view as well.
So basically if you're an anti-capitalist and know of all the harm of capitalism and rid yourself of the notion that it's inherent to human nature, narcissism wouldn't be considered a naturally advantageous thing for survival period, it would just be considered to favor you only if the system is capitalism. But at the end of the day that's just economic nuance, I do see how in life how it is right now, it could be advantageous.
On the other hand... it might be advantageous monetarily and success wise but we have to remember the social part and mental health part. Humans need connection and if that connection is impaired, sure, you might have all the resources and admiration... but are you happy? are you satisfied? and are we not taking those into account for survival? (as bad mental health can potentially kill you)
Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk😂👍🏼
@@StreetcarDesire Yes! Definitely! I find it very annoying... :ss
I’m an actor ofc I’m a narcissist
lol
Hey thanks my friend, it takes a lot of courage & strength being open & honest..
I actually have respect for you being honest and transparent about being a diagnosed narcissist. While I am not one, I do hope you continue to seek healing in your journey.
No you don't need to have any of these things because narcissist will rationalize all three. They will claim/believe they have genuine emotions, they will think everyone has same worth, and they will think they love themselves. And grandious narcissist will even admit they are a narcissist.
Everyone is a narcissist. It’s what you project to the world and how it responds back that’ll tell you if you’re good or bad. Just be happy, show up on time, keep your word and don’t complain.
Malignant narcissism is what he’s talking about. Don’t be obtuse. Everyone has some shared traits with narcissism but when taken to the levels of the grandiose narcissist it’s not good.
He is saying if you *always* have to fake emotions, categorize people in hierarchies and can’t feel the emotion of love then you are a malignant narcissist. He’s not saying that sometimes normal people can’t do this/ he’s saying if this is your inherent default it indicates a serious issue in the person.
Not true!
Glad he is being honest to what kind of person he is
I took tests that say in a very high empath, yet I'm still worried for that off chance that im a bad person or some type of pycho
Good people worry about being a bad person and can have imposter syndrome. Bad people don't care if they're bad.
Wow. That second one got to me. That’s why they lack empathy for many people but not *all*.
I reeeally appreciate your honesty and self awareness. Having dealt with Narcissists before...it's so refreshing to hear it as it is. 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
I have real emotions, I think everyone counts, I'm no better, I love myself.
1. My emotions. Absolutely genuine. 2. I as well find it inconceivable, there's definitely better than/less than. 3. I love myself, I have deep insecurity but I love my heart, my spirit, myself in general.
Insecurity is normal to have a bit of, we all do, it's just how we act on it that determines how and who we are. And how insecure we really are. Stalking and doing behaviours narcs do when they can't let go, shows they are extreemly insecure beyond words. It's pathetic and sad tbh
Sounds like a narcissist to me. Get a test.
@@godofdogs6198 I haven't but I'm not I don't know what I said that made you think that ....,😯ohhh... Because I said I am proud of certain aspects of myself... You don't truly know what narcissists are like. You probably either are one, or you're unintelligent and should not say stupid shit. 👋🏻
Let's stop throwing the word narcissist around. We all have narcissistic traits at times it's called survival
Lol, narcissistic traits on occasion for survival should never be compared to someone who has NPD. and anyone who experienced it.. fully knows the differences
Thank you I'm imperfect. Your comment was succint and powerful.
NPD Narcissist is just someone completely locked into survival. That that this survival mechanism becomes a big echo chamber looping feedback mechanism.
NPD is an actual disorder, when people call eachother narcissists, thats what theyre referring to
Someone is triggered…..
You are very smart and articulate. I've never heard a narcissist break this down so well! Seriously!
Wow! Thank you so much for your honesty, I actually applaud you for being so in tune with yourself
Im more antisocial than NPD
You’re not a narcissist if you are able to take accountability for it you just have narcissistic tendencies
Not true. Plenty of people with NPD are taking accountability for their disorder and their symptoms.
nope. just a self aware narcissist
@@StreetcarDesirethey lack the ability to take accountability. They’re so far into their narcissism, they’re never wrong.
@@gabrielamartiniuc6322that is literally not part of the diagnostic criteria
There are only narcissistic tendencies
I’m Questioning myself now, and I Feel Awful to think about myself like this, But these 3 Questions might be sign, I’m obviously gonna hope for the best.
I believe that everyone has equal worth...until a narcissist is identified in my environment. Then, my attitude is that the narcissist is below everyone else.
The problem with them is what they DO to others when "triggered" for such minor things, turn ppl, gossip, lies, hack, stalk, harass physical and mental.
They would be a minor problem without the later attacks if total focus on themselves only.
Yiu feel emotions just not POSITIVE ONES. Eg -You don’t feel anger? Shame? Disgust? Hatred? of course you do
I think he meant the reactions to other people's emotions don't generate that empathetic emotional response, say, when someone's going through shit or someone's really happy.
Woohoo! Thank you dude for just being true for the rest of us!
Great to hear an honest Narcissist.
I took great pleasure in making my narcissistic boss aware she is inferior to me😂😂😂 I'm kind until you cross me
I think depending on the situation the first one I can be there to comfort someone I can feel when someone is hurt . 2 I believe we’re all the same at the end of the day people are people . Status or anything but do I love myself? That’s something I’m still trying to learn
I don't feel emotion on funeral of someone who was old and for long time very ill and suffering.. I feel good, because the suffering was end for that person.. but i feel deep pain, when tragically someone died
I like this guy's honesty. My sister was married to a narcissist... he was and still is a fucking nightmare.
very different to see a video of a man who is accountable and faced his narcissistic tendencies and sharing them global with the world, very courageous and I'd say your on the right track to becoming great ! thank you for sharing
Your so honest. Love your Channel