as an european, i never understand the american parades, where you stay on the side of the steeet, just watch.. even here in Italy, tend to be more queer people walking together in a chaos, paralizing streets, and crossing the city, instead of been a passive pubblic to some big corp boat parade.
I have seen it in SF, just crazy. Police is not perfect here, and frequently happened little fights with them at pride, but is relatively still safe and a beautiful party for and by the comunity, even with the far right actual government ..
@@raed3240 it's really sad when people project instead of dealing with internalised stigma like @LB, you can see the whole spectrum of it from Caitlyn Jenner to Lindsay Graham.
Factually, scientifically, nobody is harmed by children learning as early and as often as possible about consensual adult sexuality and consent generally. all research shows that this leads to children who are better able to defend themselves and identify preds. it also means that children are less likely to suffer longer terms of abuse. public sexuality is not in and of itself any threat to children unless their parents are already abusive, repressive, etc. The bigger problem with pride is that it is no longer a riot.
Actually kids who grow up with abstinence only sex education focused around shame and trying to prevent sexual behavior have worse outcomes when it comes to stds, teen pregnancy, and poverty. Children who learn about sex in a scientific, theoretical way before they get the urge to do so are safer because they can more easily report abusive behavior from adults around them if they are able to recognize it, and know the science behind everything and ways to protect themselves. It's de-mystified and therefore less of a forbidden temptation. Your experience is not universal. It was the children with reasonable parents who educated them, who knew enough about sex to make informed choices who did well when I was a teenager, and studies show again and again that teaching kids about sex early and demystifying it is far safer and more effective at preventing negative outcomes than treating sex as a forbidden secret they can't learn about until they're 25. Unfortunately your viewpoint is not science-based, it is purely emotional and will be ultimately detrimental to any offspring you produce.
@@Trash-Garbage-Trash In the EU, where I live since two decades, all children have to learn about consent, guess which has higher abuse levels, the US or the EU? Anytime I see legislation up banning sex ed, or books on these issues my phone calls to technicians, pa's and politicians look like this: ==Trigger-Warning== Me: "Good day, I wanted to comment. I am so sorry if this topic effects you, but I experienced abuse as a child, maybe you have as well, but I don't need you to say so" (pause to let them soak it up) Them: something like "what can I help you with today" Me: "regarding the recent legislation did you know that early consent education and sex ed results in children with less abuse and children who are more capable of stopping it by reporting it, personally I did not have this and did not know what to report so it continued for 6 years, but all the research is clear. Restricting access to this information only helps predators and that is a scientifically demonstrable fact not an opinion."
here from your comment on my video about the zots/gd collab and just a few minutes in and I love this already, I mentioned offhand in my upcoming "Pride Discourse I'm Tired Of" script that the no kink at pride thing is about fashion and not about public sex I am super stoked to have such a thorough video to direct people to!! Love this, thank you
As an asexual, everyone belongs. If straight Christian people are allowed to show up and cause real problems, there is no harm in people accessorizing. I completely agree about the part that people could just talk to their kids in a way that is respectful of the subculture and age appropriate. Too bad conservatives love control more than their own kids though
Conservatives absolutely don't want to talk to their kids with respect or teach them anything outside their own narrow worldview. It's a big part of their culture. It causes a lot of these problems. It sucks! Everything would be fine if they would just talk to their kids and be normal about things.
As an asexual who is sex favorable but also painfully vanilla, I don't really have any skin in the game. (If that counts as a pun, it was intended.) But as I've fallen further down the leftist discourse algorithm-hole, I've developed a strong revulsion to respectability politics. It always comes down to throwing the less privileged under the bus, then stepping on them for personal gain. Unfortunately, respectability politics are literally everywhere and can easily hid under layers of seemingly reasonable arguments. It's the only kind of politics the powers that be allow minorities to openly advocate for.
Also ace. As teen, I thought kink at pride was mostly about.. Sex and sexual acts in public. That's illegal where I live, sooo it felt strange to me. When I saw horses, furries, leather and bear pride or harnesses etc, I either felt weird because I didn't know what to think about it or.. Didn't think much of it. I was, however bothered by someone being fully nude and have glitter sprayed their... Private parts and walked around like that. Again, illegal where I live. So.. Kink at pride is nornal and sex belongs to restricted areas or afterparties. When I was educated on the history of this discourse, I felt ashamed for being ick about the topic before ^^ they'll always start with the less socially acceptable because they're more vulnerable and less protected. We have to stand together for each other
also indoor pride sounds terrible! like yes the kink stuff you can do is fun but it defeats the whole purpose? pride isnt really a protest anymore but at least we need to be seen and out there!
As an asexual (although not sex repulsed) I'm pro kink at pride. Especially when it's just an aesthetic / fashion accessory or what some people find "cringe". I do think there's a boundary though, like I think if genitals were out on display that would be crossing a line. As a general rule, I would set the boundary to be a queer equivalent of how cishets might present on a public beach (with children). I've been to Pride once, but I don't think I saw anything egregiously crossing the line.
@@Trash-Garbage-Trash during San Francisco pride, a butt-booty naked person walking around in a cock sock is the same old dress code as any other summer festival LOL
@@Trash-Garbage-Trash I've seen people with their junk out at pride. One year at SF Pride, the guy checking IDs at the entrance outside leather alley was totally naked. But that's the exception rather than the rule.
So can ALL PUBLIC BEACHES BE NUDE BEACHES, REGARDLESS IF THEY HAVE KIDS OR NOT, IF KINK LGBT GET TO WALK AROUND KIDS WITH THEIR GENITALS OUT? NO? That sounds obviously bigoted and biased then. Also I've seen even in pro-kink pro-LGBT documentaries men with penises hanging out right next to children and women with visible nipples around children as well. I don't think they only came because they were paid by Vice.
Honestly I don't know the culture surrounding nudity in SF but I imagine it's different than where I live. Cultural norms around nudity vary so much by location.
also "not a problem other than when the freaks and queers are wearing it" stopped me short that's so well put. first video of yours I've caught and I love this. Looking forward to going through your catalogue!!
indoor hidden pride sounds dystopic and terrible and I didn't even love my big city pride experiences in big outdoor festivals either.... wow. Also curious how much more accessible an indoor event is in terms of covid accessibility if they put it inside compared to an outdoor event?
Yes to everything you said! Indoor pride was weird and dystopian and less safe in my opinion. I am 100% sure they were just using "accessibility" as an excuse because it definitely wasn't.
Love your 'dirtbag leftie' takes, as usual! The trash can mug on top of that, just perfect. *chef's kiss* Kink certainly belongs at pride. Queer people merely existing is already inherently sexual to cishet society. The public display of kink-adjacent fashion is simply a statement of not giving in to the pressure to conform. I also don't think it's that sexual in the first place to be a massive problem, even to sex-averse ace people. I actually only heard this critizism from the people that think learning another language is cultural appropriation or put a trigger warning on a tweet about enjoying peanut butter. Of course, don't force anyone to participate in anything they don't want to but I feel like queer people are more aware of the importance of consent than anyone else anyway. Unless we stop doing absolutely everything, there's always gonna be someone with intense trauma around and/or aversion to a particular topic. Don't give me wrong, those people of course deserve all respect and support but their personal disposition doesn't render something off limits to everyone. There is also some responsibility on sex-averse ace people to avoid the parts of pride that they don't feel comfortable with. Likewise, one can't (and I don't think anyone does) expect everyone to participate in any kink-related activities. Just respect boundaries and consent, and we can all live happy together, I'd say!
I think the sex repulsive ace argument is a non-sequiter because like already mentioned in the video people don't actually have sex at pride I have mild sex aversion because of heavy child hood trauma and it sucks, it's incredibly straineous on your relationships. but if you have sex aversion so bad you get triggered into a panic attack by people wearing fashion that's kinda on you to solve in therapy so you can be a functioning human being in society I see literal naked people all the time in summer, it's normal where I life to be at least top less at the lake, and people there actually have sex (illegally) Naked bodies are not inherently sexual. Leather wear is not inherently sexual. Humans aren't inherently sexual
As someone who loves wearing latex stuff, I always laugh at people freaking out over latex outfits at pride. You are letting your kids watch superhero movies and series, they are full of latex and spandex bodysuits ffs. I saw a little girl who was absolutely amazed by seeing a woman in black latex catsuit with cat ears. "Can I have a photo with kitty?" she asked her mom. She has a photo with a kitty now. That's all. And if someone is still offended by this, this wasn't even a pride event, it was a ComicCon. I wonder why we don't see a "No kink at ComicCon" discourse🙃
And let's be honest, a lot of the same people are at Pride and ComicCon. Big overlap in those groups! But because it's a queer event, it's labeled as sexual and deviant automatically!
As long as they don't do anything that can only be understood as very much sexual I don't understand the issue. If your kid asks you, why the person is doing this you can simply say, that they're having fun or that that is how these people are feeling comfortable. Kids accept that, they may ask more questions, but in the end they're just curious and it won't do them any harm to see people like that. Here in Germany we have quite a few nude beaches and kids are allowed there as well. So just showing skin isn't gonna make them disturbed (you should keep the thing between your legs covered enough though).And in the end noone forces you to go to pride and let your kid see this. You can just stay home if you want to shield them from thath kind of stuff. Pride is mainly for adults anyway, even when minors and kids are generally allowed. There is a red line you shouldn't cross, but I think some people just wrongly view anything remotely kinky as inherently sexual, which is just plain wrong
@@Trash-Garbage-Trash We were all born naked, so I don't believe there is anything inherently sexual about it. Near me there is the Therme Erding and it has a big naked area and noone is bothered there by that as well. It's way more comfortable to be in sauna without clothes sticking to your body anyways
Yep, I agree. I'm German too and I've seen quite a few nude bodies as a kid including but not limited to my parents and I've been to nude beaches too (not very often, but I have). If this is treated right it's such a non-issue. Yes, it's absolutely important to protect kids from certain things and teach them about boundaries and privacy, but until a certain age kids don't see nude bodies as something sexual or wrong if they aren't taught to, so seeing someone nude isn't even that embarrassing let alone traumatizing
Thank you for still masking irl 🙏 As a chronically ill queer, life has become basically completely inaccessible to me if i'm not wearing an n99/n95 respirator, so to hear that you are still fighting the good fight, especially at pride, really makes my heart sing
@@TheMenasaur I'm working on a video right now about why I'm still masking! It pretty much boils down to "the pandemic is still happening and covid is still bad for you." Simple concepts, I'm not sure why people refuse to wear masks.
i understand wanting pride to be on the street, around bars and vendors, in the public, that the indoor convention center felt like 'keeping all the unsightly queers away from public view' in a way, but actually complaining that it was air conditioned and more accessible? im sure there are pride events you can go to that are outside like you prefer, but what about us with disabilities who can't stand in the heat all day (or even a few hours)? i havent been to a pride event because i have disabilities that flare up in the heat, sure it might've been more awkward or more corporate but for those of us who can't go to outdoor pride events it's a blessing and not something to complain about. i dont want to sound too repetitive but complaining about an event being accessible? god forbid people need air conditioning -_-
It WASN'T more accessible. That was the talking point they kept saying but it wasn't true. They have very good curb cuts and accessibility downtown and the convention center was worse. Before they moved people would go into the nearby gay bars and coffee shops for the air conditioning and there were cooling tents with fans and misters. Now it's all indoors meaning it's LESS SAFE for immunocompromised people, like those living with HIV. It feels like the community didn't care about those of us who still have to fear covid.
I am realizing more and more that "accessible" means different things to different people, which I honestly didn't think about with the AC. I was like how is this more accessible? The elevator in the center is way out of the way compared to the escalators, so wheelchair users had to go really far to get around the multiple levels of the center, which they didn't at the outdoor one since it's all in one space and we have curb cuts and ramps everywhere. I wore a mask but most people weren't, in an indoor crowded area, which is really unsafe for me. All dense crowds are very unsafe for me at my size (4'8"), actually, but outdoors I feel safer as there is more egress. I suppose there is always compromise between some disabled people's needs vs others in these situations. I strongly prefer to have clean air and have to move into air conditioning if necessary vs someone like you who would by necessity prefer to be in air conditioning and move outdoors to get clean air, if necessary. I do get that there are always trade-offs. I just felt like this particular move wasn't worth it for me. I have heard this perspective, but I always felt that the gay bar with AC blasting which is literally right next to where they hold pride and partners with the festival was the solution to this issue already. I think I sounded far too dismissive of this notion in the video because I didn't believe them when they gave that reason, so I didn't feel like I had to bother addressing it. I felt like they were doing it for other reasons and that was an excuse, since it made the event less accessible for me.
@@Trash-Garbage-Trash I'm telling you, "feminist, queer, crip" followed by "neurotribes" it will put stuff on your radar regarding discrimination that you never thought about in your whole life.
Possibly off-topic, but I like your outfit, and where did you get your trash can mug? I'm asexual, and I probably care less about kink at pride than most zedsexuals. But where I live, kink at pride isn't the main problem. We have bigger issues, like the expensive, exclusionary, commercialization-ness of it all! I prefer to go to Trans March, which is more like the pride of ye olden days: no corporations, no advertisements, no merch (it's free!) just a bunch of trans people, taking over the city streets; holding our handmade banners, shouting for our lives.
as a young asexual (and ive been to pride since i was a kid)- all the groups the people want to protect- kink absolutely belongs! a lot of kinksters are queer and the communities have a lot of history together (esp. kinksters and ace folk!). in berlin every year there is at least one person running around fully naked. and its fine! i thrive seeing all the people being loud and unapologetically themselves! the kinksters never bother anyone, and if you dont want to see it (why?), just go to another block.
I swear imma watch the whole video. But i need to get this thought out. So i go in either 2 ways. Either pride is for everyone and should just be just flags and fun floats ( like a easter parade) or pride can be an adult only event, were kink may have a place. So we need to make a decision. Is it for everyone or just adults?
I’ve always disagreed with kink at pride. My personal opinion is that anything sexual should be between you and your partner, not displayed in such a public forum. Sex and sexuality are beautiful good parts of humans and the human experience, but I think as a society we’ve decided for good reasons that it should be protected and kept private. Public nudity, lingerie, or anything representing kink (heterosexual or homosexual) shouldn’t be anywhere except very specific areas intended for consenting adults. I think kink is completely different from lgbtq pride, and I feel like it’s harming the message of pride for a few reasons. One is that it’s making pride less inclusive for kids or younger teens. Another issue is that it uses the fact that pride is supposed to be a judgement free place as a way to do things that otherwise aren’t socially acceptable, and I feel like that’s abusing the environment a bit. Lastly, I think pride was intended with the idea of strengthening a hurting community, celebrating our rights, normalizing who we are, and calling for action in the fight for rights, and kink has taken over the event which originally had nothing to do with it. The saddest part is that most people promoting kind wear what they wear (or lack there of) for personal arousal, and I feel like that’s a gross distortion of an otherwise pure event. I don’t know, people have the freedom to do what they like, but I feel like there is a time and a place, and pride isn’t it. Or maybe there could be some pride events where it prohibits indecency and kind promotion, keeping things safe for all ages. (Because I do strongly believe kids shouldn’t be exposed to kink when they are too young to understand it, and it can severely harm emotional and sexual development in children as shows though many scientific studies between p*rn’s effect on young teens and children).
The way you discuss purity and cleanliness really echoes the rhetoric used by homophobes against the queer community as a whole. Taking away one freedom of expression at pride because it's deemed to be unclean is playing by their rules. When all of us are seen as filthy deviants in the eyes of some, it's counterproductive to try to rid pride of anything freaky, because it gives room for more forms of queer expression to be looked down upon. If kink isn't okay, then, well, a lot of drag performace has sexual elements, so drag shouldn't be allowed. Drag is a perversion of gender, and so are trans people, so why not kick them out as well? We shouldn't allow an avenue for that kind of snowballing. The kind of kink fashion found at a pride parade is not harmful. You refer to studies about pornography, but someone being a little scantily clad is not an active sex act. They're just as covered as anyone would be at a public pool. A kid seeing a person in booty shorts or a harness is not being harmed or currupted or witnessing "pornography." The presence of kink wear at pride is not harmful, and getting rid of it has the potential to sanitize pride, an inherently subversive event, of the weirdness that makes the queer experience so beautiful.
Kink isn't inherently sexual, kink has always been at pride, even when it was a riot, not a party, leather daddies and pups have done more for your rights than white picket fence gays ever have or will, and the fact that kink is largely considered 'socially unacceptable' is a reason for it to be INCLUDED at pride. Porn having a negative effect on the development of children and young teens and mainstream 'vanilla' porn trying to normalize non-negotiated inclusions of hard kinks like breath play has nothing to do with some guy wearing a pup mask at a pride event, and not all pride events need to be 'family friendly' anyway. Some should be, but not all of them.
Smooshed, that means any film with someone in a bikini, or action films where the guy takes his shirt off, etc, these are all het-kink phenomena. Your point exactly misses the point, and you only see sexuality in the thing that is considered "not normal". Sheltering society from the existence of sexuality leads only to the marginalisation of minorities by default.
Not sure if my last comment got deleted, but I’m gonna try again because it was a good comment: I’m making several BOAT paddles right now, and if you need a custom-wood-art-merch-line, I could probably help with that. 😂
@@Trash-Garbage-Trash the word “boat” was a lie meant to trick the algorithm into not deleting my comment 😂 my original comment used a different word, one which implied impact betwixt consenting parties. The cool-kid kinda paddles, ya know? Yeah if you want some of those to sell as merch, I’d be happy to donate them to your (soon to exist) merch line in exchange for artistic exposure. I’d suspect your audience is exactly the group that would appreciate a well-made, fancy looking toy, and I suspect that because I am your audience and that’s what I appreciate lol
Our very existence by being Queer is seen as a sex act in some form or another. There are people out there who think me having transitioned medically is me forcing some fetish onto them when MY EXISTENCE IS NOT A KINK. Kindly shut your dickholster, bud.
I’m asexual and used to be super sex repulsed, a lot of kinks still freak me out but like, kink has always been part of pride and the stuff they’re freaking out over isn’t even that bad it’s just leather.
Thank you! Yeah, it's largely just fashion and cultural signifiers. In the US at least, almost no one is engaging in public sex at pride events. And when they do, they are usually called out and stopped anyway. It's pretty much a non-issue.
I am sex(and romance) repulsed to the point of having a severe misophonic reaction to the sound of *kissing*. And yanno what? I know how to look and move the hell away when something is messing with me. I do not accept a single argument from other aspecs regarding sex repulsion. Police yourself. It is not hard. Seek therapy if you need it, i do. But im not putting my problems into other peoples lives, ESPECIALLY not on days like this. I am seeking therapy so i can enjoy kink someday, whether i do it sexually or not. I know i like some aspects, but i cant be touched right now. So maybe thats part of why i stopped participating in the aspec community? There was too much bullshit going around from other repulsed folks about this stuff. It sucks losing community over telling them the raw truth, that nobody owes them what theyre asking for and its ridiculous that they would even ask it. Ive got a mental illness associated with my sexuality(i am aspec, but misophonia absolutely makes it more intense) and im not going around telling people not to kiss their loved ones. Absurd. Anyway. Have a great pride. Be safe. Stay cool. :o)
Enjoy all the kink content on your homepage! If you don't want to see something don't interact with it at all! The algorithm sees any interaction as good and feeds you more of that content!
Just because other people wear them outside of pride doesn't mean it's not weird then, too. I used to do some more mild public play stuff, but it was never ever in a way where we'd subject people to it nonconsensually. It would be just like strict protocol that no one else would notice but no collars, no harnesses, nothing visible like that. You shouldn't subject other people to your preferences
Clothes aren't inherently sexual, nude bodies aren't even inherently sexual Americans are wild Its like saying that Christians are disgusting for displaying crosses because it means they don't believe in birth control and therefore communicate that the husband always cream pies the wife, thats gross I don't want Christians to force me to witness that :(
I just don't think doing stuff like wearing leashes is comparable to doing an entire hardcore scene, and I'm tired of it being conflated. "You shouldn't subject other people to your preferences" is so silly to me. Straight politicians are out here calling each other "mother" in public and talking super openly about their breeding kinks in front of kids but when a queer person wears a harness it's a problem? "You shouldn't subject other people to your preferences" sounds like "you can be gay but don't subject other people to it." Doing hardcore scenes in public and wearing a harness and being gay or trans are not comparable but this discourse flattens them into one thing, and that's intentional. This is part of our culture and if people don't want to see it, don't come.
@Trash-Garbage-Trash dude. I'm bi. Just don't do clear kink in public. You want to hold hands? Kiss? Some light cuddling? Go for it. I don't care. It's weird to wear fetish gear or perform kinks in public, no matter who you are or what your orientation or gender expression is. It's weird when straight people do it, and it's weird when queer people do it. It's weird for everyone equally
@Trash-Garbage-Trash also, I never said that wearing a leash was equivalent to doing a full-blown hard-core scene. Just because it's not equivalent doesn't mean it's okay. Might as well say "a punch isn't m*rder, so it's okay to punch people." Like, what? Saying something is less extreme than something else doesn't make it appropriate
Hey there, it might be best in the future to not actively frame things like this as "actively cringe" when trying to defend it's existence. Doesn't really sell the argument when you are attacking the displays of alternative life styles while trying to defend them existing. Not too say you are not entitled to your personal opinions, nor to debate your assessments, you seem you be a subject matter expert on what is cringe.
I would love more pride events in convention centers. I'm a wheelchair user with an extreme heat sensitivity, so I've never been to pride. An indoor option would be my first opportunity. (As it is, I say Katsucon is my pride event)
I am assigned cringe at birth
ACAB
Honestly same
Same as fuck
Same!!!
Real
"And I'm not even talking about attractive people. I want YOU" the accidental roasting got me 😂💀😭
as an european, i never understand the american parades, where you stay on the side of the steeet, just watch.. even here in Italy, tend to be more queer people walking together in a chaos, paralizing streets, and crossing the city, instead of been a passive pubblic to some big corp boat parade.
I know, I WISH we had that here but the police go absolutely insane and start murdering people if you so much as step off the curb.
I have seen it in SF, just crazy. Police is not perfect here, and frequently happened little fights with them at pride, but is relatively still safe and a beautiful party for and by the comunity, even with the far right actual government ..
@@lacrimassenzio pride literally started as a justified riot in the US,
Whenever my dad took us to pride as kids and we had questions about anything that wasn’t our business he’d say « they’re just having fun » 😂🙌🏻
That's a great response!
Maybe he and the people there should have instead not gone the way they did if they DON'T LIKE BEING ASKED QUESTIONS BY A LITERAL CHILD.
@@LB-uo7xy why are you acting like children need the world centered around them. Calm down derpy.
@@raed3240 it's really sad when people project instead of dealing with internalised stigma like @LB, you can see the whole spectrum of it from Caitlyn Jenner to Lindsay Graham.
Factually, scientifically, nobody is harmed by children learning as early and as often as possible about consensual adult sexuality and consent generally.
all research shows that this leads to children who are better able to defend themselves and identify preds. it also means that children are less likely to suffer longer terms of abuse.
public sexuality is not in and of itself any threat to children unless their parents are already abusive, repressive, etc.
The bigger problem with pride is that it is no longer a riot.
Absolutely agree!
@@Trash-Garbage-Trash Looking at where laws are headed, I wouldn't be surprised if it'll return to being a riot once again.
Hear Hear! 💚🏳️⚧️
Actually kids who grow up with abstinence only sex education focused around shame and trying to prevent sexual behavior have worse outcomes when it comes to stds, teen pregnancy, and poverty. Children who learn about sex in a scientific, theoretical way before they get the urge to do so are safer because they can more easily report abusive behavior from adults around them if they are able to recognize it, and know the science behind everything and ways to protect themselves. It's de-mystified and therefore less of a forbidden temptation.
Your experience is not universal. It was the children with reasonable parents who educated them, who knew enough about sex to make informed choices who did well when I was a teenager, and studies show again and again that teaching kids about sex early and demystifying it is far safer and more effective at preventing negative outcomes than treating sex as a forbidden secret they can't learn about until they're 25.
Unfortunately your viewpoint is not science-based, it is purely emotional and will be ultimately detrimental to any offspring you produce.
@@Trash-Garbage-Trash In the EU, where I live since two decades, all children have to learn about consent, guess which has higher abuse levels, the US or the EU? Anytime I see legislation up banning sex ed, or books on these issues my phone calls to technicians, pa's and politicians look like this:
==Trigger-Warning==
Me: "Good day, I wanted to comment. I am so sorry if this topic effects you, but I experienced abuse as a child, maybe you have as well, but I don't need you to say so" (pause to let them soak it up)
Them: something like "what can I help you with today"
Me: "regarding the recent legislation did you know that early consent education and sex ed results in children with less abuse and children who are more capable of stopping it by reporting it, personally I did not have this and did not know what to report so it continued for 6 years, but all the research is clear. Restricting access to this information only helps predators and that is a scientifically demonstrable fact not an opinion."
here from your comment on my video about the zots/gd collab and just a few minutes in and I love this already, I mentioned offhand in my upcoming "Pride Discourse I'm Tired Of" script that the no kink at pride thing is about fashion and not about public sex I am super stoked to have such a thorough video to direct people to!! Love this, thank you
Yes, thank you! I'm also really loving your videos right now!
As an asexual, everyone belongs. If straight Christian people are allowed to show up and cause real problems, there is no harm in people accessorizing. I completely agree about the part that people could just talk to their kids in a way that is respectful of the subculture and age appropriate. Too bad conservatives love control more than their own kids though
Conservatives absolutely don't want to talk to their kids with respect or teach them anything outside their own narrow worldview. It's a big part of their culture. It causes a lot of these problems. It sucks! Everything would be fine if they would just talk to their kids and be normal about things.
As an asexual who is sex favorable but also painfully vanilla, I don't really have any skin in the game. (If that counts as a pun, it was intended.)
But as I've fallen further down the leftist discourse algorithm-hole, I've developed a strong revulsion to respectability politics. It always comes down to throwing the less privileged under the bus, then stepping on them for personal gain. Unfortunately, respectability politics are literally everywhere and can easily hid under layers of seemingly reasonable arguments. It's the only kind of politics the powers that be allow minorities to openly advocate for.
I've never met an ace who was bothered at kink-friendly pride.
Same, and I see respectability politics everywhere
Also ace. As teen, I thought kink at pride was mostly about.. Sex and sexual acts in public. That's illegal where I live, sooo it felt strange to me.
When I saw horses, furries, leather and bear pride or harnesses etc, I either felt weird because I didn't know what to think about it or.. Didn't think much of it.
I was, however bothered by someone being fully nude and have glitter sprayed their... Private parts and walked around like that. Again, illegal where I live.
So.. Kink at pride is nornal and sex belongs to restricted areas or afterparties.
When I was educated on the history of this discourse, I felt ashamed for being ick about the topic before ^^ they'll always start with the less socially acceptable because they're more vulnerable and less protected. We have to stand together for each other
also indoor pride sounds terrible! like yes the kink stuff you can do is fun but it defeats the whole purpose?
pride isnt really a protest anymore but at least we need to be seen and out there!
I absolutely agree!
As an asexual (although not sex repulsed) I'm pro kink at pride. Especially when it's just an aesthetic / fashion accessory or what some people find "cringe".
I do think there's a boundary though, like I think if genitals were out on display that would be crossing a line.
As a general rule, I would set the boundary to be a queer equivalent of how cishets might present on a public beach (with children).
I've been to Pride once, but I don't think I saw anything egregiously crossing the line.
Yeah it never happens, people stick to the same dress code as any other summer festival.
@@Trash-Garbage-Trash during San Francisco pride, a butt-booty naked person walking around in a cock sock is the same old dress code as any other summer festival LOL
@@Trash-Garbage-Trash I've seen people with their junk out at pride. One year at SF Pride, the guy checking IDs at the entrance outside leather alley was totally naked. But that's the exception rather than the rule.
So can ALL PUBLIC BEACHES BE NUDE BEACHES, REGARDLESS IF THEY HAVE KIDS OR NOT, IF KINK LGBT GET TO WALK AROUND KIDS WITH THEIR GENITALS OUT?
NO?
That sounds obviously bigoted and biased then.
Also I've seen even in pro-kink pro-LGBT documentaries men with penises hanging out right next to children and women with visible nipples around children as well.
I don't think they only came because they were paid by Vice.
Honestly I don't know the culture surrounding nudity in SF but I imagine it's different than where I live. Cultural norms around nudity vary so much by location.
also "not a problem other than when the freaks and queers are wearing it" stopped me short that's so well put. first video of yours I've caught and I love this. Looking forward to going through your catalogue!!
floridian pie enthusiast amazing way to describe worstie Anita lmao
indoor hidden pride sounds dystopic and terrible and I didn't even love my big city pride experiences in big outdoor festivals either.... wow. Also curious how much more accessible an indoor event is in terms of covid accessibility if they put it inside compared to an outdoor event?
Yes to everything you said! Indoor pride was weird and dystopian and less safe in my opinion. I am 100% sure they were just using "accessibility" as an excuse because it definitely wasn't.
Love your 'dirtbag leftie' takes, as usual! The trash can mug on top of that, just perfect. *chef's kiss*
Kink certainly belongs at pride. Queer people merely existing is already inherently sexual to cishet society. The public display of kink-adjacent fashion is simply a statement of not giving in to the pressure to conform.
I also don't think it's that sexual in the first place to be a massive problem, even to sex-averse ace people. I actually only heard this critizism from the people that think learning another language is cultural appropriation or put a trigger warning on a tweet about enjoying peanut butter. Of course, don't force anyone to participate in anything they don't want to but I feel like queer people are more aware of the importance of consent than anyone else anyway.
Unless we stop doing absolutely everything, there's always gonna be someone with intense trauma around and/or aversion to a particular topic. Don't give me wrong, those people of course deserve all respect and support but their personal disposition doesn't render something off limits to everyone. There is also some responsibility on sex-averse ace people to avoid the parts of pride that they don't feel comfortable with. Likewise, one can't (and I don't think anyone does) expect everyone to participate in any kink-related activities. Just respect boundaries and consent, and we can all live happy together, I'd say!
Thank you! And absolutely!
I think the sex repulsive ace argument is a non-sequiter because like already mentioned in the video people don't actually have sex at pride
I have mild sex aversion because of heavy child hood trauma and it sucks, it's incredibly straineous on your relationships. but if you have sex aversion so bad you get triggered into a panic attack by people wearing fashion that's kinda on you to solve in therapy so you can be a functioning human being in society
I see literal naked people all the time in summer, it's normal where I life to be at least top less at the lake, and people there actually have sex (illegally)
Naked bodies are not inherently sexual. Leather wear is not inherently sexual. Humans aren't inherently sexual
As someone who loves wearing latex stuff, I always laugh at people freaking out over latex outfits at pride. You are letting your kids watch superhero movies and series, they are full of latex and spandex bodysuits ffs. I saw a little girl who was absolutely amazed by seeing a woman in black latex catsuit with cat ears. "Can I have a photo with kitty?" she asked her mom. She has a photo with a kitty now. That's all.
And if someone is still offended by this, this wasn't even a pride event, it was a ComicCon. I wonder why we don't see a "No kink at ComicCon" discourse🙃
And let's be honest, a lot of the same people are at Pride and ComicCon. Big overlap in those groups! But because it's a queer event, it's labeled as sexual and deviant automatically!
I kinda want to put a toilet in my yard as a planter.
You should.
Butt what's the best thing to plant in it?
@@zufinfluby black eyed susans in the bowl, ferns in the top
As long as they don't do anything that can only be understood as very much sexual I don't understand the issue. If your kid asks you, why the person is doing this you can simply say, that they're having fun or that that is how these people are feeling comfortable. Kids accept that, they may ask more questions, but in the end they're just curious and it won't do them any harm to see people like that. Here in Germany we have quite a few nude beaches and kids are allowed there as well. So just showing skin isn't gonna make them disturbed (you should keep the thing between your legs covered enough though).And in the end noone forces you to go to pride and let your kid see this. You can just stay home if you want to shield them from thath kind of stuff. Pride is mainly for adults anyway, even when minors and kids are generally allowed. There is a red line you shouldn't cross, but I think some people just wrongly view anything remotely kinky as inherently sexual, which is just plain wrong
Agree! I think things like nude beaches are a social good.
@@Trash-Garbage-Trash We were all born naked, so I don't believe there is anything inherently sexual about it. Near me there is the Therme Erding and it has a big naked area and noone is bothered there by that as well. It's way more comfortable to be in sauna without clothes sticking to your body anyways
Yep, I agree. I'm German too and I've seen quite a few nude bodies as a kid including but not limited to my parents and I've been to nude beaches too (not very often, but I have). If this is treated right it's such a non-issue. Yes, it's absolutely important to protect kids from certain things and teach them about boundaries and privacy, but until a certain age kids don't see nude bodies as something sexual or wrong if they aren't taught to, so seeing someone nude isn't even that embarrassing let alone traumatizing
6:21 I immediately reacted with hissssssssssss😂 no I don't want to thank you very much
Lol I feel the same way
Thank you for still masking irl 🙏 As a chronically ill queer, life has become basically completely inaccessible to me if i'm not wearing an n99/n95 respirator, so to hear that you are still fighting the good fight, especially at pride, really makes my heart sing
@@TheMenasaur I'm working on a video right now about why I'm still masking! It pretty much boils down to "the pandemic is still happening and covid is still bad for you." Simple concepts, I'm not sure why people refuse to wear masks.
i understand wanting pride to be on the street, around bars and vendors, in the public, that the indoor convention center felt like 'keeping all the unsightly queers away from public view' in a way, but actually complaining that it was air conditioned and more accessible? im sure there are pride events you can go to that are outside like you prefer, but what about us with disabilities who can't stand in the heat all day (or even a few hours)? i havent been to a pride event because i have disabilities that flare up in the heat, sure it might've been more awkward or more corporate but for those of us who can't go to outdoor pride events it's a blessing and not something to complain about. i dont want to sound too repetitive but complaining about an event being accessible? god forbid people need air conditioning -_-
It WASN'T more accessible. That was the talking point they kept saying but it wasn't true. They have very good curb cuts and accessibility downtown and the convention center was worse. Before they moved people would go into the nearby gay bars and coffee shops for the air conditioning and there were cooling tents with fans and misters. Now it's all indoors meaning it's LESS SAFE for immunocompromised people, like those living with HIV. It feels like the community didn't care about those of us who still have to fear covid.
I am realizing more and more that "accessible" means different things to different people, which I honestly didn't think about with the AC. I was like how is this more accessible? The elevator in the center is way out of the way compared to the escalators, so wheelchair users had to go really far to get around the multiple levels of the center, which they didn't at the outdoor one since it's all in one space and we have curb cuts and ramps everywhere. I wore a mask but most people weren't, in an indoor crowded area, which is really unsafe for me. All dense crowds are very unsafe for me at my size (4'8"), actually, but outdoors I feel safer as there is more egress. I suppose there is always compromise between some disabled people's needs vs others in these situations. I strongly prefer to have clean air and have to move into air conditioning if necessary vs someone like you who would by necessity prefer to be in air conditioning and move outdoors to get clean air, if necessary. I do get that there are always trade-offs. I just felt like this particular move wasn't worth it for me. I have heard this perspective, but I always felt that the gay bar with AC blasting which is literally right next to where they hold pride and partners with the festival was the solution to this issue already. I think I sounded far too dismissive of this notion in the video because I didn't believe them when they gave that reason, so I didn't feel like I had to bother addressing it. I felt like they were doing it for other reasons and that was an excuse, since it made the event less accessible for me.
Thank you for bringing this up!
@@Trash-Garbage-Trash I'm telling you, "feminist, queer, crip" followed by "neurotribes" it will put stuff on your radar regarding discrimination that you never thought about in your whole life.
Possibly off-topic, but I like your outfit, and where did you get your trash can mug? I'm asexual, and I probably care less about kink at pride than most zedsexuals. But where I live, kink at pride isn't the main problem. We have bigger issues, like the expensive, exclusionary, commercialization-ness of it all! I prefer to go to Trans March, which is more like the pride of ye olden days: no corporations, no advertisements, no merch (it's free!) just a bunch of trans people, taking over the city streets; holding our handmade banners, shouting for our lives.
I love that! I wish we had more events like that! One of my partners gave me the trash mug, I think they probably bought it online!
as a young asexual (and ive been to pride since i was a kid)- all the groups the people want to protect- kink absolutely belongs! a lot of kinksters are queer and the communities have a lot of history together (esp. kinksters and ace folk!). in berlin every year there is at least one person running around fully naked. and its fine! i thrive seeing all the people being loud and unapologetically themselves! the kinksters never bother anyone, and if you dont want to see it (why?), just go to another block.
Exactly! Thank you!
As a sex-averse asexual and also a drug addict i believe everyone should stop having sex and do heroin instead
lmao
I swear imma watch the whole video. But i need to get this thought out. So i go in either 2 ways. Either pride is for everyone and should just be just flags and fun floats ( like a easter parade) or pride can be an adult only event, were kink may have a place. So we need to make a decision. Is it for everyone or just adults?
Having watched the whole video. I can honestly say you changed my perspective a bit :)
Oh my gosh that's such a huge compliment! Thank you for watching the whole thing!
I’ve always disagreed with kink at pride. My personal opinion is that anything sexual should be between you and your partner, not displayed in such a public forum. Sex and sexuality are beautiful good parts of humans and the human experience, but I think as a society we’ve decided for good reasons that it should be protected and kept private. Public nudity, lingerie, or anything representing kink (heterosexual or homosexual) shouldn’t be anywhere except very specific areas intended for consenting adults. I think kink is completely different from lgbtq pride, and I feel like it’s harming the message of pride for a few reasons. One is that it’s making pride less inclusive for kids or younger teens. Another issue is that it uses the fact that pride is supposed to be a judgement free place as a way to do things that otherwise aren’t socially acceptable, and I feel like that’s abusing the environment a bit. Lastly, I think pride was intended with the idea of strengthening a hurting community, celebrating our rights, normalizing who we are, and calling for action in the fight for rights, and kink has taken over the event which originally had nothing to do with it. The saddest part is that most people promoting kind wear what they wear (or lack there of) for personal arousal, and I feel like that’s a gross distortion of an otherwise pure event. I don’t know, people have the freedom to do what they like, but I feel like there is a time and a place, and pride isn’t it. Or maybe there could be some pride events where it prohibits indecency and kind promotion, keeping things safe for all ages. (Because I do strongly believe kids shouldn’t be exposed to kink when they are too young to understand it, and it can severely harm emotional and sexual development in children as shows though many scientific studies between p*rn’s effect on young teens and children).
The way you discuss purity and cleanliness really echoes the rhetoric used by homophobes against the queer community as a whole. Taking away one freedom of expression at pride because it's deemed to be unclean is playing by their rules. When all of us are seen as filthy deviants in the eyes of some, it's counterproductive to try to rid pride of anything freaky, because it gives room for more forms of queer expression to be looked down upon. If kink isn't okay, then, well, a lot of drag performace has sexual elements, so drag shouldn't be allowed. Drag is a perversion of gender, and so are trans people, so why not kick them out as well? We shouldn't allow an avenue for that kind of snowballing.
The kind of kink fashion found at a pride parade is not harmful. You refer to studies about pornography, but someone being a little scantily clad is not an active sex act. They're just as covered as anyone would be at a public pool. A kid seeing a person in booty shorts or a harness is not being harmed or currupted or witnessing "pornography." The presence of kink wear at pride is not harmful, and getting rid of it has the potential to sanitize pride, an inherently subversive event, of the weirdness that makes the queer experience so beautiful.
Kink isn't inherently sexual, kink has always been at pride, even when it was a riot, not a party, leather daddies and pups have done more for your rights than white picket fence gays ever have or will, and the fact that kink is largely considered 'socially unacceptable' is a reason for it to be INCLUDED at pride. Porn having a negative effect on the development of children and young teens and mainstream 'vanilla' porn trying to normalize non-negotiated inclusions of hard kinks like breath play has nothing to do with some guy wearing a pup mask at a pride event, and not all pride events need to be 'family friendly' anyway. Some should be, but not all of them.
Kink isn't really even happening at pride. Just the aesthetics of kink. Which are very mainstream.
Thank you blueca and deceitfuljester! It leads to more and worse bans if we cede to this.
Smooshed, that means any film with someone in a bikini, or action films where the guy takes his shirt off, etc, these are all het-kink phenomena. Your point exactly misses the point, and you only see sexuality in the thing that is considered "not normal". Sheltering society from the existence of sexuality leads only to the marginalisation of minorities by default.
Needs more leather daddys
Absolutely! And not just at Pride, more leather daddies everywhere!
Not sure if my last comment got deleted, but I’m gonna try again because it was a good comment:
I’m making several BOAT paddles right now, and if you need a custom-wood-art-merch-line, I could probably help with that. 😂
Ugh did my reply to my own comment get filtered as well -_- gd UA-cam comment skimmers.
lmao I'm sure people have boats that might need paddles
@@Trash-Garbage-Trash the word “boat” was a lie meant to trick the algorithm into not deleting my comment 😂 my original comment used a different word, one which implied impact betwixt consenting parties. The cool-kid kinda paddles, ya know? Yeah if you want some of those to sell as merch, I’d be happy to donate them to your (soon to exist) merch line in exchange for artistic exposure. I’d suspect your audience is exactly the group that would appreciate a well-made, fancy looking toy, and I suspect that because I am your audience and that’s what I appreciate lol
@@willparker1404 I got the code lmao
@@willparker1404 I don't think I would ever do merch but feel free to drop the name of your own shop!
So a sexual act in public. That's a big no. That forces others to participate in your sex act without their consent.
...says someone who obviously didn't watch the video
Our very existence by being Queer is seen as a sex act in some form or another. There are people out there who think me having transitioned medically is me forcing some fetish onto them when MY EXISTENCE IS NOT A KINK.
Kindly shut your dickholster, bud.
@@Trash-Garbage-Trash probs this guy is on an 1nc3l watch list, irony.
I’m asexual and used to be super sex repulsed, a lot of kinks still freak me out but like, kink has always been part of pride and the stuff they’re freaking out over isn’t even that bad it’s just leather.
Thank you! Yeah, it's largely just fashion and cultural signifiers. In the US at least, almost no one is engaging in public sex at pride events. And when they do, they are usually called out and stopped anyway. It's pretty much a non-issue.
Overall great points and I subscribe to what you have to say.
27:25 Just to point out - not a pride flag in sight in any of these photos.
Right? Very clearly not a pride festival!
I am sex(and romance) repulsed to the point of having a severe misophonic reaction to the sound of *kissing*. And yanno what?
I know how to look and move the hell away when something is messing with me.
I do not accept a single argument from other aspecs regarding sex repulsion. Police yourself. It is not hard. Seek therapy if you need it, i do. But im not putting my problems into other peoples lives, ESPECIALLY not on days like this.
I am seeking therapy so i can enjoy kink someday, whether i do it sexually or not. I know i like some aspects, but i cant be touched right now. So maybe thats part of why i stopped participating in the aspec community? There was too much bullshit going around from other repulsed folks about this stuff. It sucks losing community over telling them the raw truth, that nobody owes them what theyre asking for and its ridiculous that they would even ask it. Ive got a mental illness associated with my sexuality(i am aspec, but misophonia absolutely makes it more intense) and im not going around telling people not to kiss their loved ones. Absurd.
Anyway. Have a great pride. Be safe. Stay cool. :o)
Thank you!
Deviant 🤢
Enjoy all the kink content on your homepage! If you don't want to see something don't interact with it at all! The algorithm sees any interaction as good and feeds you more of that content!
Just because other people wear them outside of pride doesn't mean it's not weird then, too. I used to do some more mild public play stuff, but it was never ever in a way where we'd subject people to it nonconsensually. It would be just like strict protocol that no one else would notice but no collars, no harnesses, nothing visible like that. You shouldn't subject other people to your preferences
Clothes aren't inherently sexual, nude bodies aren't even inherently sexual
Americans are wild
Its like saying that Christians are disgusting for displaying crosses because it means they don't believe in birth control and therefore communicate that the husband always cream pies the wife, thats gross I don't want Christians to force me to witness that :(
I just don't think doing stuff like wearing leashes is comparable to doing an entire hardcore scene, and I'm tired of it being conflated. "You shouldn't subject other people to your preferences" is so silly to me. Straight politicians are out here calling each other "mother" in public and talking super openly about their breeding kinks in front of kids but when a queer person wears a harness it's a problem? "You shouldn't subject other people to your preferences" sounds like "you can be gay but don't subject other people to it." Doing hardcore scenes in public and wearing a harness and being gay or trans are not comparable but this discourse flattens them into one thing, and that's intentional. This is part of our culture and if people don't want to see it, don't come.
@Trash-Garbage-Trash dude. I'm bi. Just don't do clear kink in public. You want to hold hands? Kiss? Some light cuddling? Go for it. I don't care. It's weird to wear fetish gear or perform kinks in public, no matter who you are or what your orientation or gender expression is. It's weird when straight people do it, and it's weird when queer people do it. It's weird for everyone equally
@Trash-Garbage-Trash also, I never said that wearing a leash was equivalent to doing a full-blown hard-core scene. Just because it's not equivalent doesn't mean it's okay. Might as well say "a punch isn't m*rder, so it's okay to punch people." Like, what? Saying something is less extreme than something else doesn't make it appropriate
@@Trash-Garbage-Trash did you get rid of my other comment? Really?
Hey there, it might be best in the future to not actively frame things like this as "actively cringe" when trying to defend it's existence. Doesn't really sell the argument when you are attacking the displays of alternative life styles while trying to defend them existing.
Not too say you are not entitled to your personal opinions, nor to debate your assessments, you seem you be a subject matter expert on what is cringe.
I think it's okay to be cringe. I think being cringe is both legal and acceptable.
@@Trash-Garbage-Trash 🙄 you understand it's a pejorative... Pedantry helps noting
I really hope that you're on the FBI's watchlist. This is absolutely disgusting.
something only a person who didn't watch the video would say
@@Trash-Garbage-Trash Conversely, i hope you're on the FBI's watchlist cuz they might learn somtin' or more views or whatever
I would love more pride events in convention centers. I'm a wheelchair user with an extreme heat sensitivity, so I've never been to pride. An indoor option would be my first opportunity.
(As it is, I say Katsucon is my pride event)