Stop Being So “Nice” 👉 Be REAL Instead!
Вставка
- Опубліковано 29 вер 2024
- Stop being a fake people pleaser… Let your TRUE self shine!
►►► APPLY HERE FOR A FREE COACHING SESSION: bit.ly/2S9YVum
Julien Blanc (AKA JulienHimself) is a Swiss-born, U.S.-based self-help speaker, entrepreneur and transformational coach.
Since 2010, he has been traveling around the world and has personally coached tens of thousands of clients face to face... Empowering them to create massive success in their lives!
His record-breaking programs Transformation Mastery, Transformation Mastery Live, Transformation Mastery Live Advanced, Transformation Mastery Academy & Transformation Mastery Mentoring help people around the world achieve the HEALTH, WEALTH, RELATIONSHIPS & HAPPINESS they deserve!
===================================
Stop Being So “Nice” 👉 Be REAL Instead!
What causes people pleasing? In this short, Julien Blanc (AKA Julien Himself) exposes the disease to please... And coaches a client into being real and being authentic!
#authenticity #bereal #peoplepleaser
===================================
Subscribe to JulienHimself’s UA-cam Channel: / @julienhimself
👉 BOOK YOUR FREE COACHING CALL: bit.ly/2S9YVum
🙏 Get a FREE guided meditation (How to let go of fear & anxiety): bit.ly/2JIkFJU
🔥 Get your copy of my RECORD-BREAKING program Transformation Mastery! (+4 exclusive bonuses): bit.ly/3vse34E
💎 My 12-month INTERACTIVE guide to personal transformation: bit.ly/3gUaccv
✨ Subscribe here for NEW videos: bit.ly/3w1ZTHD
Julien I'd hug you right 🤣❤️ thank you for this download 👁️💪🏼
@@xSpeedy3Gx You're very welcome!
@@JulienHimself i think a better way to phrase this would be to say to stop lying and to tell it as it is.
Maybe I should stop lying about my political views 🤔.
People upset me when they force me to say what they want to hear.
@@MadaraUchiha-ly8wr you have to learn to say the truth and be disagreeable when needed.It's really difficult if you're both introverted,agreeable and a person who gets hurt easily.If you're introverted you'll lack the extroverted assertiveness which helps to put yourself forward in social situations and if you are agreeable you'll lack the assertiveness to contradict others to say what you want and do what you want to do so you'll have to practice being both outspoken with your needs and opinions and learn to be stern and strict with others when needed.If you're a person who gets hurt easily you probably are fearful of high tension situations like confrontations which require courage from your part and the ability to take risks.In social situations there's always gonna be boundaries placed on you especially by disagreeable people and you have to learn to pushback the line if it's unfair and wrong and similarly draw the line to others
If they don't respect your line provided it's fair.You'll also have to learn to integrate rage and aggression into your personality and express it correctly and not suppress it too much to let other people know not to mess with you too much.All these things are hard but have to be learnt to be assertive and remember to not be more assertive than what is needed that's also very important.
Once I had to take part in a debate in front of my whole high school, microphone and all, and ended up mixing words together, but when some people laughed I looked at my friend and said in the mic "sorry I'm shy and nervous". Turns out, people actually were empathetic, cheered me up and waited for me to take my time when needed. It was such a nice experience.
🙏🙏🙏
Saying that out loud helps to calm your nerves a bit too
Too bad I can’t exactly do that right now
....i just realized I've been doing this my whole life lmao😭 I'm usually an outspoken person who just straight up say what's in my head so once I'm under pressure or nervous i just straight up chant; "omgomgomg, guys! no cuz I'm nervous QAQ"
And this was most likely the reason why i feel like an alien at these time, it's like I'm a nervous mess on the outside while on the inside I'm actually calm and can act normally if i want it to be but just continue to act like it for the sake of entertainment, many people usually laugh at this and there words of : "Nahhh, you can do this! It's nothing!"
Just lift up my mood more!
Haha almost sounds like a poetry contest I went to a week ago
(◍•ᴗ•◍) Down people were why but nobody said nothing wrong about it, I think some people cheered on the people who were speaking. ( ╹▽╹ ) In shy usually so it's nice people understand and take their time( ꈍᴗꈍ)
But I say what I am thinking! And really is just wanna be kind… I try to stop my damn self but I just keep letting people walk over me, unless it’s clear as glass that there being a jerk I don’t argue back or fight, I juts let them use me, even though I’m too lazy or stupid to do any tasks I try my best to make people happy by smiling at random people on the street, giving my friends my book when they forgot, defending people that I don’t even know because gossiping is bad (unless they did something really mean), I also try to walk around school to see if people are getting bullied so I can fight the bullies because I got bullied once… and they never stopped, not until I faught them and won, but I just genuinely want to be a kind person but my sisters just look down at me like I did something terrible and my friends tell me to be less nice, but I just want ti be the person I never had, a person with a heart…
I'm introverted and have no problem speaking my mind.
i love this so much!! so true!!
Yes! 🙏
That’s y I notoriously tell the venomous making u angry or depressed or triggered truth
I'm going to try being unfiltered in a borderline respectful manner for a week
AUTHENTICITY + RELATABILITY yes. Be sure to watch this video as well: ua-cam.com/video/Pn00Fdy7k3Q/v-deo.html
As soon as YOU SAY SOMETHING AUTHENTIC... you GET CANCELLED. Welcome 2022
I'll watch it for you buddy
If I let go and said everything that came to mind it would be a lot of stuttering
"Really? Nothing from me putting your hand on me?"
"Ok fine, no filter. I wish this guy would rub my hand all over his bod-"
"Wait... No. Thats not wh-"
LMAO
XD
Hahaha
Lol, i love it! XD 👍
@@joeking2885 i feel like you dont really :( you're always JoeKing ;p
If I say what I feel I’ll be thrown in a mental hospital
The power of modern medicine, everyone has some form of mental illness today
💀💀💀
Same, bro
That doesn't happen to sane people.
All of the intrusive thoughts lmao
This 1 minute clip can change your life, if you really understand what it conveys.
YES! Agreed! 🙌
mine too.
Deffo can change your life / say what you want in front of an armed/dangerous ugly soab - one way or another … your life will not be the same again!!
Fr though makes a v good point
@@MT-UK I mean... apply some common sense and assume that this isn't the approach to 100% of situations you'll ever encounter 😂
Wow ! Honesty with how you feel is a game changer
As someone who struggles sometimes to communicate how I feel, this is gold.
I once heard "If you think something, you should say it."
Overthinkers, take notes...
YES! Glad this speaks to you! 🙏
I constantly think about brutally murdering everyone in my imediate vicinity, I'll let you know how it goes
@@Thermolizer lmaooooooooooooooooo
@@Thermolizer we'd be the best of friends
I often hurt people when I say what I think
I've learned through my own experience that this is the number 1 tip to learn not to be awkward. I think this is what it means when you hear someone say 'be yourself'
Same experience here, I had to learn to be myself MORE even though I am still not 100% there. My anxiety has gone way down since when I was a kid. Your intentions are key,
@Grandplat this? U mean this vd? Plz tell me what u do not to be Awkward coz I'm so being awkward lately
@@cristalk3773 yes, this video. If you feel awkward just say what's on your mind, if nothing, think *what interesting thing has happened to me recently*
So if ur disinterested in someones life, just dont a give a fck?
@@rusokana3642 Yep
I told my boss he was being an asshat, ig im on streets now. Thanks Bro!
Well you should have said something less vague and easier to process than "You're being an asshat" to him/her. For example, going to his office and talking one on one about the conflict you're having with him/her and if he/she refuses to change well screw him too. Search for a new job and just hold on for a little longer until you find one. Your mental health is way more important than money because suicide doesn't require a lot it it.
That was just one instance. Keep going bro 👍🏽 it’s a lifestyle and you’ve only just begun.
Now you can start ur hustle
maybe you should have secured a new job before you did that
@@eliasgarcia6576 Bro you took this way too seriously.
"Even if you don't know what to say, even if you are trembling, say that."
Guy: "Nice pecks bro."
Shut up
@@austinbrown2498 Autistic Austin 😹
"I have a b0ner right now, can we go deeper with that lecture tonight...?"
Hold up yo 🤣
Guy: Move it a little bit lower bro😂
"take off the filter! Say exactly what's on your mind!"
Everyone around me: "omg you're so rude!"
Yeah so what 😂
Yeah sometimes it's better to not say what you are thinking. If your friend is in love with a red dress but you don't like it, don't make her insecure about her desicion by telling her it looks like shit, just because it is your own personal opinion
For example
Being authentic is great but doesn't mean you have to be rude and hurtful to everyone around you
This is how you end up with Karen’s screaming racial slurs at the drive-thru window. Sometimes you gotta filter that shit.
@@nihalnihal9356 I agree with what you said. In that kind of instance that you just gave it's not necessary to speak your mind. I think being upfront and straightforward about how you feel should only be used in instances where you feel strongly about the situation to the point it's making you feel uncomfortable. For example just recently I told my coworker who I have feelings for, that I liked her even though I knew she already had a BF. When I told her I even mentioned to her that this feeling was bothering for so long and I just had to express ot otherwise it'd eat me on the inside. And surprisingly she told me she liked me back. But now idk what to do 😂 But it was such a relief to be truthful and speak my mind.
@@angelsanchez9656 yesss I agree!
OH MAN WHAT'S WITH THE STORY ABOUT YOUR COWORKER THO hahaha
Well the philosopher Kant would say that you shouldn't listen to your feelings and keep a clear mind to not fall for someone taken, buuut if she decides to end her relationship for you.. I mean 🤷♀️
'If this goes on UA-cam, I'm not gonna watch it' LMAO
Slow clap 😂
One of the major issues with our current society is people walking on eggshells for others. It simply makes people weaker, never being challenged.
That’s false. More people say whatever the fuck they want than actually being considerate of others
@@gohansshoes1615 exactly some are too nice some are rude for no reason at all
I agree but its because people are very interconnected due to the internet. People are weaker but the circumstances has allowed people that
@@gohansshoes1615 they say whatever the fk they want but I think many people ACTUALLY say whatever the fuck and not what they actually want to say, they are just reproducing what someone else has said like any mom or dad joke ever made for example.
So instead of people pleasers they are people offenders and got really good at it .
They still aren't speaking their mind possibly just the opposite side of the spectrum
@@gohansshoes1615
Um, no. Where were you the past 5 years?
People were being cancelled left and right, shamed, for having the "wrong opinion." Speak positive about Trump, and you were attacked. Be a black person who disagrees with the victim narrative, you were attacked. That's why so many Trump voters were bullied into being quiet, so many black people who didn't subscribe to the victim narrative, black Conservatives.
Those who were against the politically correct feminist ideology and misandry, against MeToo, were bullied into walking on eggshells. Those skeptical about transgenderism and hundreds of genders. Those who doubted the COVID narrative and "the science." Those who were against BLM.
Comedians like Dave Chappelle and other celebrities had to break the woke mould and speak about what everyone else was thinking before we could breathe a sigh of relief.
You really have no clue what you're talking about.
This happened to me one time, i was getting so anxious and I didn’t even know why, as the situation was passing by and time doesn’t seems to stop, I collapsed and screamed I AM FUCKING SCARED OF THIS SHIT, ALL I HAVE IN MY MIND IS FEAR RIGHT NOW, all of a sudden, instantly, like magic, physically my body started to relief anxiety, I started to feel better, certainly fear was still there, but I addressed the situation in a very focused way regardless how I felt, and all because… I accepted what I was feeling/thinking… powerful
"Oh ya mmmmm.. firmly toned chest"
"What?"
"What?"
In society you need to filter yourself if you want to have a job, I think it's about finding the useful filters. I think you should talk also about that Julien, how to be yourself AND fit in the corporate world.
Idk who this dude is or who his main target audience is but I’m assuming he’s talking more to the ppl that want to create a name for themselves not just work a job
@@Aboguaboga its for people who have mental problems
I also agree with this point I think some filters are good but for people with anxiety who are too in their own head about what others think about what they say and do, you must break that pattern and start turning off the filters. I.e be yourself. Its not aboht hurting peoples feelings and its not about lacking tact. Its about not being guided by emotion
@@mastertrey4683 that’s some real shit Master Trey
Tried it and now I’m banned from my local gym.
I'm banned from church....even worse I'm pretty sure they think I'm possessed now.
I’m in a speech class right now and I’m absolutely terrified to get up and speak in front of the class. I deal with social and generalized anxiety already but the thought of being the center of attention and messing up/embarrassing myself is borderline panic attack inducing. I actually think this advice could really help me out dealing with that anxiety while in the classroom. Thank you!
This is very common and EASILY fixable with the right tools and guidance... Let me know if you'd like my help with this: application.julienhimself.com/
This is me! Social and general anxiety. To the point even being in a crowded grocery store causes panic attacks unless my husband is with me to distract me (or take over while I go outside for fresh air). Being the center of attention is my worst fear. I constantly mix up words or try to say one word then change and say another word, but it comes out as a mixture of both words. It sucks. The constant dialog in my head, never ending string of words of everything that can go wrong with any situation, thoughts that I'm missing something or some terrible thing will happen because of an action or lack of action. All the while staying quiet and trying to make myself as small as possible so I don't make anyone upset or angry.
Update: I’ve completed my speech class with a grade of 96. Thank you 🥹
@@angiew7407
Hey Angie
You are in a flight or fight state. This programm is in us for ages but the situations have changed. Now your enemy is not an animal but your boss or a place that you hate.
Our brain is able to create imaginations so real that our body thinks its reality.Our body doesnt know the difference between an actual experience and an experience that is created by thought alone. That means you can manipulate your own brain in the worst possible way so that you react unproportinal to reality.
Just focus on your deep breathing through your nose for 6 sec. It will decrease your heart frequency and keep you in a calm state. Do it over and over again to be able to make a new experience so your body connects the calm state with your environment
I remember nearly 10 years ago I was trying to vocalise my inner voice in real time. Really difficult as it's incessant rambling, most of which is complete nonsense & not worth saying.
Wasn't a good idea.
“I want that voice in your fucking head”
Uhh sure you can have it 👍
"So dude, will you come to the party?"
"No, i cant"
"Why?"
"Because youre boring"
Some people do need to hear it :D especially when they don't get the hint
I think it’s good to filter the thoughts that come to your head (as not all thoughts that come to your head are ones that should be spoken). If everyone just said the first thing that came to there minds all the time there would be chaos. Things come to my mind in certain situations that I want to say but instead I stay calm and professional and man when I look back on the situation I think to myself “thank the lord I did not say that”
What i notice is the stronger the person is the more open i can be!
I have a comrade and he is so strong and he is always responding with respect!
When i go out of line he picks me up and tells here buddy you are back in track!
That is a comrade for life
You are right
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
>IF< you start living your life like this (Being Authentic) ....... Be Prepared, for much hatred coming your way. Secretly, people will be against you, and wish/hope for your downfall.
Society "Really" doesn't approve of those who are uplifting, truth tellers, and those who are NOT afuplifting, be Authentic.
I am not speaking of those, who tear others down, to build themselves up.
But rather are not afraid to always speak truth, when "asked" for it ..... to encourage, uplift, and edify those who ask. Even if, it may go against the grain of your listeners.
I promise, one thing however ....... it is absolutely freeing. And no one is confused about where you stand on issues, or can pretend that they didn't know (for future manipulation).
Why you think they killed Pac
@@mastertrey4683 ;
I've heard that he may be (unfortunately) still alive.
I say unfortunately ..... because it was said, he may be in a underground tunnel. Good things, do not happen down there. This was NOT confirmed ...... only alluded too. I pray it isn't true. I have heard about the thing's that the "industry" did to him ..... when he was alive. 😥 It's why I no longer listen to their music anymore. I won't fund the agenda.
When you feel fear, walk towards it
Yeah guys, you heard him, if there's a fire, just walk towards it, face your fears
You can use common sense smooth brains
@@dpbass8898
Common sense is move away from fear. Do you understand common and fear at all?
@@furyberserk ok let’s apply your logic. If you want to be a comedian but fear standing up in front of a crowd would you
A) Not attempt it because you should run from fear
Or
B) Feel the fear and go up there anyways
Come on kid you must be trolling because you can’t be that slow to not understand what I mean…right??
Fucking true man respect 💪
Yep. He's absolutely right. Sincerity is how you beat social anxiety.
🙏
I am a person with hyper anxiety, my introverted mind cant get rid of anxious thoughts. I know i can do something but my brain is busy running "anxiety" at 100%. During certain moments in my life, anxiety has overwhelmed me upto the point where i can't even talk, my brain shuts down and i feel like I'm about to die.
I feel like, the more i educate myself about my mental health , i keep destroying myself.
It's really hard to express how it feels.
I feel similarly about 'the more I educate myself about my mental health, I keep destroying myself'
As if my subconscious is taking that information and fine tuning behaviour to better fit the problems I'm learning about rather. Like that meme about googling why I sneezed and realising I have cancer, just on mental health stuff.
It's so frustrating, because there are no blood tests to determine 'illness', only a mush of self reporting (which is like an opinion basically) and perspectives/opinions of other people.
So at the end of the day I have to ask myself do *I have a problem with overthinking* or do i have a problem with other people dismissing my expressed thoughts and labeling it as overthinking.
Whenever our thoughts match or help that other person to achieve their goals, suddenly 'oh, you're so smart', whenever it's inconvenient 'stop overthinking '
I feel like a fox that hunts itself ffs
Quit educating yourself and get out of your head, exercise and do physical things more, helps me
If “taking off the filter” means degenerating the conversation down to a 12 year old’s level, I don’t see the point.
So obviously without your filter your a twelve year old. Maybe keep yours on
@@frickinghogtied 😂😂😂😂💀💀💀💀
Ye but the ppl rn who actually say what they thinking watching this are like “this is nothing to me” n I’m one of them 🤣
Authenticity is freedom
When he doing the voice in the head it sounded like the Rick and Morty “show me what you got”
I want to see what you got
Sometimes it’s better to not say what you think because you might have the worst thoughts and as Jordon Peterson said, “you have to do as others if you wanna live in civilization”… Sometimes your thoughts are just bad and filtering them is best for you and everyone else.
Its an equilibrium tho, if you really believe in your thoughts you should maybe express them even tho its not what a majority wants. Like Jordan Peterson.
Dont have to say everything to everyone. Choose your people
@@its_just_isaac yeah but the now I’m acting different to everyone
I think you are not taking Jordan Peterson doses in context
There is a fine balance, this video is targeted at overthinkers who always filter out everything that may not be perfectly socially acceptable.
This is powerful, i’m gonna try it in the next social gathering.
I recommend first try on the social group you care the least about
how’d it go?
Wanna hear how it went
This is freaking hilarious but also so applicable to me as well, instantly subscribed, I think he reacted how most of us would have reacted
Thats the sad part. Society full of beta males.
@@uplayulay then we should guide them to become the best and more confident versions of themselves
@@yadig3709 I do that for a living
@@uplayulay People in society kinda have to be like this because you get punished. A lot of people have jobs out here which forces some to watch how they act in public.
Amazing…🧐
I thought it would take a couple of therapy sessions for one to get here.
If I say what’s on my mind, It would be about lots of sex, harassing comments, complaining, complements, murder, dark jokes that will get me shot, and I have an overreactive mind where nobody else could speak because I speak too much in my head therefore I would be talking constantly and no one could say anything.
This dude learned that from someone else too. I think everyone would be like the guy
I've always said that the best way to alleviate an awkward situation is to point out how awkward it is. Releases all the tension in the room.
That makes it so much more awkward😭
@@avery8852 it works both ways depending on how unhesitatingly you said it
A traumatized brain will start to give zero fucks about being blunt with others because we been through enough BullShit LOL
this is great advice, It’s just hard to develop this kind of skill after years of being raised by emotionally neglectful parents. It’s like having to completely rewire your brain and train yourself to think differently. Which is easier said than done
Julian, I am 46 and just recently single after 21 Years married. . I have been completely honest on a couple of dates this year about feelings and my emotions ( after text chatting for weeks prior to meeting up) then I seem to get fobbed off and they never want to meet up again . I’m I being to open or are they just the wrong person for me?
No, the problem here comes down to social calibration and reliability. Watch this video: ua-cam.com/video/Pn00Fdy7k3Q/v-deo.html and if you want to go deeper, I cover this in more depth in High Vibe Communication: www.highvibecommunication.com 👌
This is so true. I'm in sales and naturally you only want to say what you think they want to hear. Start being yourself and saying things that you feel and believe and the fear dissapears and you become a confidence monster and their respect grows quickly.
I’ll take that advice 🙏
This is true.
I was just taught that if you have nothing nice to say then don't say it. Nothing to do with fear, more so to do with self control, humbling and respect.
As long as you don't compromise your AUTHENTICITY! Watch this: ua-cam.com/video/Pn00Fdy7k3Q/v-deo.html
If you guys want to see the full clip of this here it is:
ua-cam.com/video/g0jvHNVrPjw/v-deo.html
🔥🔥🔥
Ya... I am one of those that needs to not say what's on my mind...
I would’ve gone to jail if I told that guy what was on my mind if he did that lol I feel you
Well if what's on ur mind is offensive don't say it! U clearly know what is offensive or weird, so say whatever u want to say 💪 Human beings are social creature u have social skills already it's Just that u need to say what u want to say, u will say all the right things cuz ur mind already knows what is inappropriate to say.
Letting people know you're nervous or having anxiety over something really does cause a flood of relief. Sometimes it's almost instant, other times a little slower. Can even make a little joke of it "my heart's beating a little fast, I don't know if it's nerves or excitement" *laugh*. It both acknowledges the anxiety and lifts the mood in the room to one that's more open and light-hearted (good for interviews).
Genius!
🙏🙏🙏
From someone who has been diagnosed with clinical depression and severe general anxiety disorder, this is really true. It's not some motivational talk bs... The more you speak your mind, the more in tune you become with yourself, and you can be infinitely more genuine. People won't like it at first, but fuck it. They will appreciate realness a lot more in time.
I said what I felt to this one guy... and he blue ticked me... then I realised maybe the real me is just too overdramatic, insecure and traumatised and I just can't afford being real again...
Gonna stick to saying what needs to be heard, I mean it's for the best of everyone...
Omg that’s my problem too I should say what I think than saying what ppl like
Very common... Easy to let go of with the right tools and guidance however!
Some people need to take this filter off a bit more, others of us straight NEED the filter. If I said what I truly felt I'd be thrown in jail for simply being seen as an asshole. 💀😭
Don’t be worried about being on UA-cam-your working on yourself and being courageous-we’re all proud of you 🙌
Yes but take note, if you say too much you will now fall into grace of obnoxiousness territory, say what you think, but definitely put a moral filter on it.
As much as trying to let go by having "no filters" can be great for some occasions, it's still important to have some filters as to not make a situation sour. Some things are only meant to be said at a specific time.
Sometimes you don't say stuff just to not make other people hurt and that's ok.
Speaking from past experience, it’s good to remove the filter and not care what people think but don’t do it all of the time. My relationship with a lot of people aren’t as strong as I’d like them to be because I’ve grown a habit of saying whatever I can think of and that’s taken an effect on my social life. I try to watch what I say more often now but it still isn’t the same as it once was, be careful.
Watch this: ua-cam.com/video/Pn00Fdy7k3Q/v-deo.html
Think before you speak, and don’t allow anyone to disrespect you for no reason
That's such a great relief to be real than being pretending to be nice and pleasing
The guy was actually really funny
Doesn’t just happen in a 4 minute session or even a day it’s something I have to do everyday get the ball rolling or I’ll be tripping over my words or end up muting myself
Best one I've seen so far, this can trully help ppl become comfy with who there are without care of others or ego or realistically BS
He has a voice in his head? WTF? Is this normal? I thought that meant you have schizophrenia? Does this voice tell you what to do or guides your life, in some internal way? ✨️
Every single person has that "little voice" in their head. This is one of the main reasons so many people gravitate to meditation... To learn how to to quiet that inner voice.
They're called thoughts lmao do you not experience them?
This morning i tried to say what i personally thought was true and i cried while saying it
Great first step towards being more authentic!
The problem is unlike these guys a lot of people are genuinely just toxic all the time and can't ever seem to be positive about anything ever.
Don't ask me why.
That part hit me when you realise your anxious and accept it, it gives you relief
Yes! 🙏
"If this goes on youtube.."
*Oh no*
Once I made decision that I wanna change my current Job, it shook many people bc it was my decision. I notice that when you stop being people pleaser it not just changes you but around yourself too. And specially with girl Omg I was simp & I know how that felt now that I have control on my emotions at least compare to before I see good changes. It’s like ‘ be nice but don’t be too nice’ that’s what I learned…
True
for those saying 'yeah but what if I offend people?
remember this: knowledge is knowing what to say, wisdom is knowing when to say it.
if it's rude and abusive, don't say it.
Check this video out as well about authenticity + RELATABILITY: ua-cam.com/video/Pn00Fdy7k3Q/v-deo.html
Oh my god - is this a guy edging on pick up artistry “lEtGoOfYoUrFiLtErS” …
Legitimately don’t listen to this person. Keep your inner thoughts to yourself.
Yeah, you’ll “lose” a lot when ur real
But, were all that you had even “real”, when u were fake?
Ps: actually you’ll gain a lot. The real ones.
Yes! Authenticity is a light that will shine away fake, selfish, toxic and manipulative people from your life!
Absolutely!! THIS IS A FANTASTIC BIT OF ADVICE!! This is something I've been working on for a good year and a half now is allowing myself to have the strength to be vulnerable and let people know when I'm anxious or burnt out or even having a flashback. And almost every time, the person I'm speaking to will ask what they can do to help me feel better or to let them know if I need to step away. I have severe Generalized Anxiety Disorder to the point where it was causing atypical stress seizures and anxiety attacks were so bad I would experience psychosis and hallucinations since childhood. It's been 8 months since I've had a stress seizure or an anxiety attack and I've been off my meds for 6 months now! It's such a relief. My life is more fulfilling, I restarted my tech repair business, I'm starting back to college this fall and I'm pursuing the things that anxiety was preventing me from even thinking about. Hell, I got on a plane to Colorado to see Tool on a whim just this past January. I used to have anxiety attacks even thinking about traveling to unfamiliar places without a family member. It's A LOT of hard work... And it takes time, practice and patience, but it can get better. I know there might be a day sometime where everything becomes too much, but now I know that it will be fine. 💕
The first thing I'd say would be "MY STICK, MY STICK, MY STICK IS BETTER THAN BACON!!"
I mean man asks me to have no filter
Expect me to go ALL out!! Oh and I'd be gripping as well saying "Nice chest mate, mind I borrow it?" XD
JulienHimself: Just keep narrating, just say what is in your head.
MilitaryVeteranMe: You sure? That is what usually gets me in trouble.
JulienHimself: Yes
MilitaryVetetanMe: OK, but I must warn you, I had to go through a class about learning to engage my filter, and even then, I am still more non-politically correct than people can handle.
Oh my goodness! As someone who is autistic and done my best to be authentic instead of masking, most neurotypicals don’t want other people to be real. One, they scale up your emotions. Why? Because it would take sooooo much for them to say what you’re said so you must be REALLY angry, sad, depressed, etc. versus what you’re saying. Two, when neurotypicals talk, they dial down their feelings. Everyone is in on it except people like me (it took me so long to learn this is what neurotypicals are doing), and then we’re seen as weird or more emotionally unstable.
I’ve had people think I was co-dependent, enter into relationship with me expecting that, and then being pissed off at me because I’m not. All because I am authentic. When I was younger, I used to wonder how to apply more filters as it seems people wanted to peel the layers of onion that they are… I wanted to know how to put layers on. I’m just absolutely terrible at masking. I am more weird if I mask.
I do that really good with people I am comfortable with that won't judge and won't go away. I did it to my good friend of mine and now she broke up cause I'm too honest that it hurts. And these days I'm thinking that everything I did, texted her, said was authentic, but it hurt. And I'm thinking everything I did was wrong and everything that she does is right.
This situation is eating me up.
Also, I'm really into self-improvement. And she said that I do so much self help she is worrying about it and that I'm now self obsessed for some reason.
Please help. You guys have any advice?
This dude is giving me Keith Raniere vibes. 😦😦🚩🚩You know the American cult leader who founded NXIVM. Just me??? 🤔 I guess we’ll just have to wait and see for a documentary in a couple of years on how this all ends.🤷🏻♀️
Ok yeah so if I narrated I would get in so much trouble with my sister cause me and the rest of our family DESPISE her boyfriend (he's manipulative, controlling and abusive, yet she she's none of that)
AND I have anxiety especially with speaking my mind so full on panic attack! So yay!
Yeah I do this when I talk to people in school to practise getting better and better and conversations are so much less awkward and I’m becoming a lot more masculine.
Any of you watch UA-camrs like Hamza Ahmed, Jordan green or 1STMAN?
So when your in a situation where your embarrassed. You can't think of anything but don't pick me. He picks you... And your mind goes blank... He didn't even hear the question he was just dying of embarrassment. Bet the poor lads at home now still dying of embarrassment knowing the clips out there forever. 🤣😂
You know what I say to people that talk to much or have a tendency to "tell all"? Nothing. Generally they have nothing important to say and/or they have a cringey "need to be accepted". Its egoism. These videos remind me of lessons I learned as a child. When my father was speaking to another man about important things, and I felt the need to say something just to be heard, I was treated as a fool. Rightfully so. Both my father and the others would look at me in confusion. Why? I had nothing important or relevant to add to the conversation. Thus, I remain generally well reserved, and when you have something important or thoughtful to add to a conversation its usually more well recieved. "Wise men speak because they have something to say. Fools speak because they have to say something." This is good social practice. My two cents anyhow.
I've randomly stumbled upon this short and I am very confused what's going on here. Is this a class teaching how to be less nice?
Now that I've asked that question it's finally time to look at the other videos on this channel to probably find out very quickly.
Edit, 10 minutes later: Oh it's a charisma class.
I am constantly trying to get better at this. I've masked my true thoughts in front of other people for so long that it's still difficult, but I am improving. Just earlier today I was able to be entirely honest in a job interview and asked the interviewer to clarify one of the questions he asked me and openly admitted that I'd never been asked that question in an interview before. Once he clarified, I was able to answer flawlessly. It might have made me look dumb asf but if such a trivial thing costs me the position, then so be it. I'm tired of hiding my true self, even when I'm awkward as hell (which is often 😅).
I'm one of those people whos constantly convinced I'm a horrible person. Which is why I don't get offended so much when people call me out, I know I'm terrible. But I still monitor my inner monologue a lot, to the point wherr I felt I was even masking how I eally felt to myself even. When I began to let go of that and just be honest come hell or high water I said some really genuinely lovely beautiful and supportive things to my friends, sometimes unwarrented. I wouldn't give my words those adjectives if my friends themselves didn't do so. I dunno, I feel like a monster but at the same time I'm not just withholding the parts I'm scared of but also the parts I should be proud of. It feels good to tell someone how wonderful you think they are and it come from a genuine place
Today at work, a couple coworkers and I walked past a car that was just horrible parked (and not in a spot). I commented how it "wasn't even a parking space" and suddenly felt like I could take on the dude in a car and everyone else there. Seriously weird how you can feel absolutely badass, but I woulda gotten curbstomped probs.
😭😭😭😭 this is me being narrated,😭😭😭 how can I meet you or talk to you, I have lost alot of opportunities in my life due to the fact I'm a Victim of social phobia. With the fact that I possessed alot of greatness that my anxiety couldn't let me to project out to people yet. I know one day I will be free from this.
Still learning how to do this, but much better. People seem to get really surprised now when I actually speak my mind, and people used to me NOT doing that sometimes get mad so it's weird. But keep this kinda shit up!
Be open to new ideas, but when your personal boundaries are being crossed it's definitely ok to be firm and respectful at the same time. It's learning the line that's hard. Keep it up, admit when you under or over react, and be honest and open.
I'll probably have to watch this guy's videos. I taught myself how to do this over the course of like 10 years or so. Teaching other people it is difficult and takes time. So if this guy's made it into a system. Shaboom. We will see I'll check it out. :)
I decided to be honest with myself and not lie to people about anything.
Over a decade later, I give zero fucks about anything. Fantastic results. I even started making more money from job to job by simply speaking my honest mind.
Until you lose all your friends cuz you say things you don't actually mean and don't actually feel
This is why AUTHENTICITY is key and saying what you actually mean and feel! Check this video out as well, which complements this: ua-cam.com/video/Pn00Fdy7k3Q/v-deo.html
I was doing this yesterday as I left my house. “Everyone is looking at me and they see how messy my hair is….and now they know I’m nervous 😬”
But then when I started saying “I’m being ridiculous and this is normal for someone with social anxiety” I noticed my anxiety went down a little
Bro on god idgaf I have no censor if you would’ve done that to me I would’ve pulled my hand back an said wtf you trynna do ya freak, it could be infront of 100 ppl I’ll still say it lmfao I’m a roofer and I have no problem speaking my mind😂😂😂
Hey man, this struck a bit of a chord with me. I'm often quite open when I have an issue but the typical response to open honesty is that I am told I'm being an asshole. So the tradeoff if being open when you're upset is dealing with the normal unreasonable person. I feel so defeated when it happens like I shouldn't have even said anything. Now that I shut up it's still there but minimized.
As someone whose always too blunt and honest I still have to filter, especially at work, I even have to make my tone more pleasing and feminine to be accepted and for ppl to think I'm not upset and even when I do some ppl still think I am. I try really hard to fake it for the sake of my job. I can't afford to look for another one and hopefully I'll be able to quit within the next year or two with my side business. Idk if it helps to explain but I'm also neurodiverse, autistic and have adhd.