What it’s like being a pansexual man

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  • Опубліковано 3 гру 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 49

  • @notdefining
    @notdefining  Рік тому +6

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  • @tmscipione1
    @tmscipione1 9 місяців тому +4

    The trick for me was whether to consider myself pansexual or omnisexual. I have heard people say that "regardless of gender" pan definition minimizes gender--that it becomes unimportant. Some omnisexual people have said "yes, gender, please," as though pansexuality minimizes the importance of gender.
    For me gender becomes important in how it is integrated into someone's personality and their sense of sexuality. In different people the same quality of gender may seen inharmonious in one and achingly sexy in another. For me, gender is not unimportant, but it always comes back to the PERSON, and what it means in the context of that person. That is why I prefer the definition of pansexual for me over omnisexual. I can be attracted to anyone, but it always comes back to the inner beauty and harmony of that person, in all aspects, including gender.
    I also want to add that the colors of the pansexual flag are the colors cyan, magenta, and a specific yellow that were defined in the late 70s and early 80s in computer programming. They are primary colors in coding and printing (check the ink colors in your printer) that forms the basis, in combination of all other colors in computers and printing. There is an implication of the synthetic, that gender is arbitrary and sexuality stands beyond it. I don't think it means that gender is artificial, but more arbitrary and "programmed" like a computer (not to dehumanize the sexuality of anyone).

  • @OzzieBo
    @OzzieBo Рік тому +11

    I just came out as pan a few days ago. This really helped bearing the response from my friends. I also like to call ‘pansexual’ panauchocolatual.

    • @notdefining
      @notdefining  Рік тому +3

      Hey I’m so glad. Massive recognition to you for coming out. I literally love the new word. This is iconic. Thank you.

    • @OzzieBo
      @OzzieBo Рік тому +4

      @@notdefining thanks!

    • @notdefining
      @notdefining  Рік тому +2

      🩷

    • @notdefining
      @notdefining  Рік тому +2

      🩷🩷🩷

  • @jiliciar.1423
    @jiliciar.1423 Рік тому +4

    I like the flag. It's like primary colors and you described the meaning of the flag perfectly.

  • @Stars-ns2bk
    @Stars-ns2bk Рік тому +10

    This is a great video. I would’ve loved seeing this when I was figuring out my sexuality

    • @notdefining
      @notdefining  Рік тому +3

      Hey thanks for saying. I’m glad you get to connect with it now.

  • @Isabella.barbie
    @Isabella.barbie Рік тому +13

    I never heard of pansexual before 😲. Pansexual is valid🌼☁️🐝 omg I'm also gender fluid.

  • @AdamCaldwell-c7i
    @AdamCaldwell-c7i 4 місяці тому +2

    Wonderful commentary! Thank you for speaking to this important issue!

  • @xelakys
    @xelakys Рік тому +4

    i love the biological connection / foundation you made there--i too when learning brain development was fascinated to learn about how _same_ we all are as humans and its definitely shaped my current identiy as pan as well! i grew up simply with bi and think the pan identity is evolving to support our broader understanding of the fluidity of the mind, body, and potentials for attraction
    as for the flag--tbh, i was at first thinking 'i like the bi flag more'--but it's really grown on me! this will sound superficial but i don't have a lot of yellow in my personal style, or at least hadn't till more recently. I like it a lot now, but i find myself having to do more explaining. which i suppose is good

  • @davidmlehmann
    @davidmlehmann 5 місяців тому +2

    I identify myself as pansexual for about a month now, because it fits more what I feel when I'm with people.
    At least my partner is a non-binary person and gay/-Bi-curious wasn't feeling right anymore.
    And since my childhood I was caught by the idea of loving people and not genders.
    The flag is just a touch of genius. For me as a graphics person it's built on the printer colours magenta, yellow and cyan which means you can print any colour you want (exept black and white) by mixing up these three.
    So it represents the whole spectrum of genders and identities.

    • @notdefining
      @notdefining  5 місяців тому

      Hey thank you for sharing. Love this.

  • @MarkHyde
    @MarkHyde Рік тому +5

    Amazing video - as I age I am finding I am more and more pan/demi in my bi-ness. The flag is amazing.

    • @notdefining
      @notdefining  Рік тому +3

      Ah thanks Mark my love. Yes me too. Yes I am completely that too! I love that we can share and express that.

    • @MarkHyde
      @MarkHyde Рік тому +3

      @@notdefining Thanks so much for your reply. :)

    • @notdefining
      @notdefining  Рік тому +2

      @@MarkHyde Of course Mark. You are part of our family. We missed you on the group chat today. We're going to continue doing them eastern time / western time alternately. No worries of course if you can't make it right now. I'm just glad that we can connect here. Sending so much love, Mark x

  • @Auspop
    @Auspop 6 місяців тому +1

    I am Pansexual, well recently I don't know now because once I was replying to comments on a short I was watching and apparently when I described my attraction someone said that I was panromantic, and I didn't really deeply described my sexual orientation that much because I am more focus on other things to talk about "sexual" attraction but maybe I could figure it out one day by describing my attraction and letting someone tell me or researching and finding a label for myself one day.

  • @jonathanmiller9235
    @jonathanmiller9235 Рік тому +2

    Can we be best friends and act like we are life-long buddies/ pals for years, and can you also be like an older brother figure to me? I know we don't really know each other, but I really would like to know you!

    • @notdefining
      @notdefining  Рік тому +2

      It’s called queer family and yes. I can be your big brother. We don’t get mirrored by the people around us in everyday life so when we meet our tribe we feel an intense connection like a life long affinity or familial bond. There are quite a few people in our community who like to call me brother or uncle or even dad or sibling. You’re so welcome little bro! We can connect on here or otherwise we have a private members community on Patreon.com/notdefining where we can have group chats, meet ups and chat any time etc. Either way, welcome to the family bro. Love you x

  • @noself7889
    @noself7889 5 місяців тому +1

    Wow, another new flag! How cool! 😮

  • @kaylalorene2243
    @kaylalorene2243 Рік тому +5

    I love being able to connect with multiple identities and how labels can change throughout our lives ❤️❤️

    • @notdefining
      @notdefining  Рік тому +2

      Hey thanks for saying. Yes me too. It’s fab isn’t it?

  • @MadonnaGrogan
    @MadonnaGrogan 3 місяці тому +1

    I want to understand does pan mean not gender but person interest

  • @HarriLosh-x8y
    @HarriLosh-x8y Місяць тому +1

    I am and just realised when i started doing CD 10 years 🩷💛💙🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🌈🌈

  • @kenyadarobinson9138
    @kenyadarobinson9138 Рік тому +7

    💗💛💙

  • @Mr26muel
    @Mr26muel Рік тому +2

    So you are everything now?

  • @HarriLosh-x8y
    @HarriLosh-x8y Місяць тому

    Sorry later on ?

  • @HarriLosh-x8y
    @HarriLosh-x8y Місяць тому +1

    🩷💛💙🌈🏳️‍🌈⚔️

  • @kaseyford1490
    @kaseyford1490 Рік тому +4

    Are you still Asexual? I was getting excited there that you were just like me 😂

    • @notdefining
      @notdefining  Рік тому +4

      I am also asexual yeah. My sexuality is a mess! Haha.

    • @shayneparker1512
      @shayneparker1512 Рік тому +4

      ​@@notdefiningdo you ever wish your sexuality was more "stable"? I always thought mine was stable but now I'm starting to fear that I'll be all over the place and monogamy will be difficult for me in the future.

    • @notdefining
      @notdefining  Рік тому +4

      @shayneparker1512 yes it is a constant challenge to feel like your sexuality is not stable and it can be scary thinking about having a monogamous relationship while fearing that you might change or shift. By understanding that both sexuality and gender are continuums and reframing the way that you interact with the different attractions and energies inside you, you can create a deep sense of stability for yourself. It take a lot of unlearning but it’s absolutely possible.

    • @shayneparker1512
      @shayneparker1512 Рік тому +3

      @@notdefining thank you Mark, I am looking forward to our 1:1 on Wednesday

  • @garrieleepeck8753
    @garrieleepeck8753 Рік тому +2

    I fault they had something for peterpan .fare play

  • @Stars-ns2bk
    @Stars-ns2bk Рік тому +5

    This is a great video. I would’ve loved seeing this when I was figuring out my sexuality

    • @notdefining
      @notdefining  Рік тому +3

      Me too. That’s why I made it. Hehe. Thanks for the kind comment.