Being a betrayed husband, I have noticed that most everything on this matter (online) is from the perspective that the husband is the unfaithful spouse or the abuser, and the wife is always the victim. It seems like their is no place, community, or solace for the betrayed man. My trauma is real. My pain is real. My loneliness is real, and all undeserved.
did you watch the videos with Dr. John Haney and I? those will help along with the video by amanda. you're correct in many ways, but there are resources. also, there was a female who read an apology letter to a group of male betrayed spouses but it wasn't recorded. thanks for watching and sharing
@@KevinKallsen - This apology was originally written by an unfaithful wife. Samuel edited it to make it his own. At Hope Rising, the author read the letter to the betrayed men in a separate location from where Samuel gave his to the betrayed women. It was very powerful. She, however, was not comfortable with being recorded. I hope that you knowing that the apology was written by a wife will help.
@@AffairrecoveryLLC My wife betrayed me. Now I stay because of my daughter. I live in foreign country with no support. I have been trying for three years. My wife is non remorse full and blames me for everything. Everything is killing me. After 22 years together she is destroying everything good in our live. Very complicated for me. Would love to talk to someone to help me before it kills me. Thanks, Peace.
This is the apology I hope everyone who’s been betrayed receives someday, and not only receives but believes. Someday the betrayer WILL “get it” and why it wasn’t worth destroying someone you love.
I cried listening and watching this. I cried because u put words that i so long to hear from my wife. I cried because u put emotions to words that my wife could not. I cried because i feel lonely. I cried because i feel so alienated. I cried because people tell me to get over it, to buck up but i just cant. I cried because im afraid to be happy to be loved by the thought of what it comes back full circle. I cried because at the point of hopelessness, that its ok to hope even if what i see and feel does not translate to that. I cried because i hear my wife speaking those words. Thank you for making me cry a river.
Jonathan,what was the outcome in the end ? I’m 20 months in,and although we are cohabiting,and getting on better,she is still distant and on her FB messaging and Whatsapp all the time
I don’t think I ever grieved my wife’s infidelity because I had to be strong for my baby boys and all our family. I don’t think I ever thought I could cry like this. But I’m grateful for this video and this UA-cam channel.
As the only worthy apology I will ever receive, I intend to watch this every day until I can get through it without sobbing. I can already feel the improvement. This is 18 months on and I still am in shock at the loss of whom I regarded as my best friend. Every day I try to remind myself that it was and still is his choice, so it is likely to remain so. Sad. But real.
My exact thoughts. I will be watching this everyday until I can heal (and stop crying my contacts out lol while listening) it hasnt even been a month for me my D Day :(
I listen to this over and over as a reminder that I'm not the one who is broken - I didn't break our marriage, he did and that he has so much healing to do that he isn't ready to face. I just wonder if I can hold on that long.
This is exactly how I’m feeling right now. Still no apology or clarification on why this happened and I don’t know how long I can hold onto the hope this will one day happen for me to even start to heal
Samuel You have no idea how your apology touched my soul. I wanted to approach you since I see you as a friend since you are with me several times a day on my 45 minute drive to work. Though my husband acknowledges my hurt he doesn't realize the damage it did to my self esteem. After that weekend I'm better. But I'm work in progress. Thank you Samuel. I dont know if my marriage is going to make it but even if it doesn't your apology healed a part of me that was broken.
As a betrayed spouse, I’m sitting here nodding my head with tears rolling down my face. I never imagined I would hear something that so accurately describes what I’m going through and the shame and hopelessness I feel as a betrayed wife. My husband is still gone and we don’t have contact with each other. He has no idea that I’m still hanging on to a tiny shred of hope that we can someday restore our family. After almost 5 months since DDay and I still cry everyday. I need to take medications for anxiety, depression, high blood pressure and even just to fall asleep at night. The only pain I can imagine that is worse than this would be the loss of a child, which I somewhat feel as well because he’s blocked me from having any contact with my 3 stepchildren. My family doesn’t understand and they just roll their eyes and tell me to get over him and move on when I start to get emotional. As a result, I just stay at home by myself and stay isolated from people who know me to escape the “tough love” treatment. I have a long way to go but I’m so thankful for this video. I pray someday my husband will hear this and we can begin the road to recovery.
Lisa, it’s beethree years ago and I still haven’t been able to get any apology from my wife. I know how you are feeling and I’m sorry for your pain and burdens you carry. May god continue to bless you and your family.
I wish I could hear those words from my husband. I only hear" I am sorry you feel this way because of me" turning himself to a victim. I wish he could sit down a write a letter like this. I wish I wasnt the one that had to discover his LIES. I wish that when we got together after a separation he would have remembered the PROMISE he made to me that NEVER AGAIN. I wish that after listening to one of the videos he would come from a humble place in his being. I wish I wasnt asking for the impossible ... to be humble and to be understanding as a constant in our relationship. I wish I wish I wouldn't have the empathy to understand him more than he understands me.
This makes me cry everytime I hear it!! It's the apology I'd give anything to get...ty so much for your videos!! They have saved my life, literally.. i enjoy an appreciate more than I can express!!
Thank you for this. So many of us will never get an apology that conveys they truly understand the damage they did. I wish all unfaithfuls would hear this.
Samuel you are a beacon of light that pushed through some dark times and your vulnerability is astounding and humbling. You and Samantha are incredibly blessed. This was so healing beyond measure 💕
Thank you so much for these words. I’m leaving my husband after almost 16 years together. He has continued to make me feel like “if only x was different” I would not have cheated on you. It is pain to the core of your being. Helpless and hopeless feelings. It shakes your confidence, made me lose my smile. Thank you for the words that I should have heard from him.
Samuel thank you so much for this video. I am the unfaithful wife and you describe everything I was feeling and unable to get my words across to my husband. I don’t know what the future holds for us but I believe in God and his will be done.
Thank you so much for this apology. I am a betrayed husband and still in complete shock and pain about my wife’s infidelity. It’s been 3 months since the day I found out and it’s been an absolute struggle. I’m mentally and emotionally exhausted as well as physically from the lack of steady sleep. This is the apology that I wish I could get from her. Thank you again for summing up and understanding my pain.
Im here bc my fiancé & father of my kids cheated on me with a woman who was trying to break us up, and kept it secret for 2 years. It’s been 4 months, and no healing has occurred and he even told me to ‘move on’. This letter made me cry uncontrollably, I hope one day he can tell me these words. I sent him one of the UA-cam AR videos & he seems to be finally understanding how much this has hurt/traumatized me. I have to take anxiety meds and sleeping pills to help my panic attacks/insomnia created by this occurrence. I told him I will not marry him until I am treasured/treated with endless compassion like the affair partner was, because that’s what I deserve having been loving and loyal to him all these years. I just don’t want to feel this unbearable pain anymore.
We must always remember that "cheating" may be a symptom of a mental health issue in the cheater. So, an apology by a cheater may mean something to you but my wife being on the Personality Disorder Spectrum would say anything to "love bomb" me back and then cheat again (as she did).
This is my 2nd time watching this. The first was a year and a half ago and then tonight. I'm 2 and a half years since day. The pain is still there. Not as bad but still there. Thank you Samual for the apology.
THANK you for knowing what we go through.. understanding the trauma we experience is a great part of helping us heal. My biggest obstacle is getting my confidence back and finding who I am in this whole relationship. I feel lost and derailed and cant find my bearings. This is truly the most painful experience I have ever had.
I absolutely sobbed through the whole letter. It is the apology I will never, ever get, from two different mates, one years ago and one from now. Thank you so much for reading this. It was everything that I needed to hear.
Thank you Thank you for this video. I have listened to it over a d over. I am broken in so many pieces, I am so mad at myself for staying. I hate myself for staying, i have to forgive myself for staying. I am on edge every day scared to be hurt again. Everything you said every single word, hit me straight in the heart. Thank you for an apology I will never get.
He blames me. If I say I'm hurt, he says well I was hurt by you, too. And it turns into a fight and us arguing about who hurt who more and first. And me telling him to just move out.
This was amazing! Thank you Lori for being so transparent in writing such a heartfelt apology and especially to Sam for conveying every thought, every loss, all the pain, tears and emotions we’ve all had to suffer. We’re grateful.
Beyond grateful. These videos help more than my one on one therapy. I feel like you and the team are talking just to me. I'm on the other side of the world, on a different continent but when I listen and watch your videos, I feel that you are in front of just me. This talk on "Apology" reached into my soul. Wish I'd been there to hold the hand of another betrayed spouse and cried with them. I don't know if I'll ever be the same as I was before my world fell apart, but I'm trying, and you guys are my rock right now. As a betrayed and broken wife, this apology talk, spoken from the heart of the unfaithful, reached my core. Thank you for all you do, for the comfort, support and advice you offer with so much unconditional love. Thank you so very much. ❤️
Thank you for this. I've been listening to this once every couple of days. When you don't hear these words, you need empathy from somewhere. Thank you for all that your organization is doing. This is needed. Please keep going.
I cant stop crying!! It felt like this is exactly what i need and what i really feel deep inside.. thank you Sam!! I have been watching your video blogs this past few days. Its part of my routine going to work and going home and it helped me a lot. I just cant express how thankful i am to you and your blog. More power and Godbless you!
This was amazing. I was emotional and cried as I I will never receive her apology or acknowledgement that she was wrong for hurting me. I am going to be okay, I accept that you are truly gone. I never thought I'd give up hope on our love and relationship but I have no choice. I'll own my imperfections and take responsibility for my share of failures that resulted in our divorce. I forgive you and I will always cherish the experiences both good and bad we shared forever. God bless us all!
This brings me to tears. My wife never came home after her infidelities destroyed our marriage and family. I will never get an apology for the choices that she made so I listen to this. I hold samuel dear to my heart for sharing his journey with us betrayed
I only found out about my husbands infidelity 3 weeks ago. I was shattered to say the least. Still am. I never thought that he would ever actualy do it. And that with the one person he said I need not to worry about. It is not the infidelity it self that hurts but all the lies. Blaming me for his choices and making himself the victim. No apology or recognition of his wrong doing. Not seeing how broken and utterly shattered I am. Ripping me apart with each and every word he speaks at any given moment the opportunity that arises. Making me feel guilty and shameful for the truth that came to light. Making me the bad one with family and friends. And somehow for some twisted reason I cannot help to see him as this shattered person he is. This apology ripped through every ounce of my body. Wondering if he ever will be remorseful. Will he ever see what it did to me and our children. I can't ' help feeling hopeless and hopefull at the same time. So confusing while trying to pick up the peaces left of my heart.
I felt like this was me writing this! 2 months on I still cannot believe it. The person that promised he would never hurt me like that and he eventually chose to. And won’t tell me why or offer an apology for what he has done or the mess he has created. I have so much anger and pain and feel like it will never get better.
I have watched this video a few times, and I have cried every time I do. Thank you, thank you Samuel for this video, thank you for understanding. Thank you for being there. I have never felt so alone in my whole life. It's been six months since the last D-day. I have good days and not so good days, but haven't had a "bad day" in almost a month. ( I'm praying hard that the bad days are gone. Although, I'm sure they will come back at some point.)I will keep fighting and praying. Thank you again for all the video's, they have helped a lot!!!!!! Please keep on making them. Much to love to your wife and you.
My wife has justified her affairs. I don’t know if she will ever understand the pain of emasculation, deceit, imagery, and numerous negative emotions I sit in daily. I can’t control her actions. What u can do is control who I want to be despite her choices. I don’t know if she will ever apologize nor be accountable for her actions. What I do know is as each day goes by and she refuses to apologize the pain continues. I also know I have to make some hard choices. Please pray for all who suffer from betrayal. TY for this apology.
If I did not have access to these videos I may have done something drastic. May God bless you for your honesty and humility. You have saved many lives including me.
I watched this a couple of years ago, right after d day, but it didn’t move me like it did tonight. After 2.5 more years of trying to recover from continued betrayals, hearing it now means more than you know. Thank you for the most heartfelt and honest apology that I see now that I may never receive, so I will accept this one; it moved me so much and made me cry tears of forgiveness.
This made me cry. I have had 5 years of apologies from my husband. He met with her on Monday it was to end it once and for all. So what happened? She invited him into her house for a coffee - big mistake! Tgey ended up half naked and played with each other. My husband said it wasn't anything too bad 😮😈. He doesn't understand why I'm so traumatised by the whole sordid affair. We've just celebrated our 43rd wedding anniversary, he's 77 and I'm 62, his mistress is 72. This evening I have decided once and for all that he and her can be together. My health and sanity is more important to me that their infatuation with each other. So if my husband wanted to apologise to me yet again I would tell him to stick it where the sun don't shine.
I've wanted this for so long. I'll never get it in person. He lacks too much empathy, and is entitled. It wont ever change. He will never be there for me to cry on while really, truly apologizing. He can't. He just doesn't care that much.
Iam a single father who sees his son on weekends and holidays every now and then I listen to your videos this ranks with the best. If I had gotten something close I may not have lift her
I wish for an apology from the person who betrayed me. This has not happened yet. I find it difficult to move forward, but am doing it. This presentation is on point.
This is exactly what I needed to hear today. I wanted to do be apart of this but I had a wedding out of town to attend that day. I am still struggling. Getting better as days go by. Your videos have helped me. I am trying to work through the pain. My husband just wants me to move on and forget it. I can't. It has been 7 months. He hasn't apologized to my kids. I feel that is important. I don't feel like he has truly apologized to me.. he says he feels bad and it shouldn't have happened but the way I treated him.... using me as an excuse. He has accused me for about 28 years of cheating. I never did. Eventually I shut down and gave him the silent treatment that he has done to me all these years which lead him to affairs. Thank you for all that you do. It can't be easy for you and your wife.
you're very kind. thank you for those encouraging words Denise. i'm sorry for the journey but I know you're courageous and will walk through this with your head held high and your eyes will regain their sparkle. don't give up on you.
@@samshealingpodcast thank you...I will keep working on the recovery. Until you go through something like this, no one could ever imagine all the pain, the thoughts, and the paralyzing effect on your life. Taking it day by day.
@@daviddeniseunrein4200 This is very true. No one can ever know the pain and torture of it unless they've gone through it themselves. I'm sorry for what you are going through.
My pain is real and just like you I struggle every day it will be 9 months and I am slowly coming out of my coma. This apology I will except it for my husband that I will never receive something so powerful and heart felt. I watch these videos all the time they have helped me so much thank you for your words of hope however this ends up.
Thank you Samuel for this video, it me cried a lot but it is all so true! My husband infidelity happened many years ago but for his behave with a coworker two years ago, while I was going under Chemotherapy, I I started to remember things and the droughts I had then. The bombs started been drop little by little since two years ago with lots of lies. Two months ago, I discovered the whole true. The pain I am into is as deep as if it happened just now. We have been watching your videos , witch have helped a lot but I don't know if I will ever heal. We are in our 60th, and I think it makes it harder to know that my life has been a whole fake!
I have just heard this video. It spoke to every hurt I have felt over the years. My husband had an affair 52 years ago, I know nothing about how long it lasted. His work wife called me and told me they had been seeing each other and she was pregnant. I found the son on social media and the PTSD for 2 1/2 years has been horrible. Worst than the problem when it happened. I’m 80 years old and better but still have so much resentment and even bitterness. I guess I’ll die alone in this misery. My family thinks I have every kind of mental disorder they can come up with. I don’t have anyone.
Im sorry for what your going through i to have been going through the same thing. What scares me the most is that my memory is declining and the good memories i will lose but this one will stay with me to the end.
Watched this today with my husband, who revealed his now-ended affair about 4 weeks ago. Because he apologized for almost everything mentioned in the letter, I think my healing has been quite profound already. I cried a good bit watching the video. Even though he’s apologized profusely, and is actively showing me how is heart has changed, it still was nice to hear all of this.
After 34 years of marriage and 10 years after divorce and longing to get an apology these words has helped me. I thought i had healed but i know now I had not. Making a go at a reconciliation just reopened the old wounds when he lied to me, never apologized, just made excuses as a narcissist would. I realize i was not dealing with other women, i was dealing with childhood trauma of my husband that he never got treatment or healed from. As I truly heal and rebuild my life, I do it with the help of YAH (GOD). Hate takes too much energy. My health has began to suffer now. I have to get things together. Thanks so much for this video.
I completely agree I betrayed my spouse and have committed to changing my ways and working and doing everything necessary I can to fix our relationship and I’ve found it hard to put my apology into word by mouth or words but this put everything i try to tell him or want to tell him but can’t put into words. To all the betrayed from the unfaithful some of us do want to change and will do anything to repair the damage. Sometimes it’s hard to apologize without sounding like we are trying to speed up the healing process but when some of us apologize over and over it’s not fake or misplaced it’s just hard to say all the words he just said but we mean all the words and all the things he has said. To the unfaithful if you decide to stay and change love them through all of it and make sure to keep telling them and showing them you choose them even on the bad days and take ownership on those days.
@@davalynsumtis4982 Hi there, I'm an unfaithful - I confessed to my partner a few days ago and I have to say , seeing myself and seeing who I was and really am and what I've done - I would not wish this on anyone. Are you guys doing any better ? Seeing success stories gives me hope..
This is the first time I have sobbed to a video on UA-cam..well...ever. It perfectly acknowledges the many different ways a betrayed are hurt because of a betrayal. So many layers it penetrates- all in the name of selfish self serving actions, some even that I myself as a betrayed 2 years 4 months past dday..have only begun realize. So many times I thought perhaps I was "over dramatic", but I see now since discovering this channel, I am not in fact as alone in this as I thought. Thank you for this.
This video alone helped me decide to try again through my total instructive feelings about everything I'm crying why I write this but this video helped me more than anything and when I told three of my closest unjudgmental friends this is what I said to them explain to them why I'm going to try to work through this Thank you for this Thank you for being humble and thank you for sharing a horrible experience that you survived from thing to say thank you because I was hopeless
I promise you, we get there! Took me about 3 years but I finally did! I’m working on a letter for my husband so far is 10pages and I’m not even close to being done. Will be praying for you ❤️
Tears streamed down my face as you read that letter, I know I will never get that apology from my spouse because although I tried to forgive over and over (enabled I'm sure, due to feeling trapped by army life thus distance from support systems), he returned to affair and filed divorce. (So yes I feel abandoned with our children). I want to thank you and all that helped for being man enough to put that together as it hits the ❤️ and so many of the hurts. Thank you!
Thank you! Luckily my husband woke up and he has been amazing through our healing process. It’s been a little over a year with still a long way to go, but with these videos i feel like we are well on our way to recovery. Thanks Samuel!
I am was an unfaithfull husband. For a long time i have been looking for words that can describe how truly she means to me and how mu h so sorry iam to bring her to a place that was unknown to her where her or no one else should be. I brought trauma, grief and pain to her. The lonleyness and anxiety and insecurities to her and kids. Thanks for this piece
I need him to get it. I so desperately want to hear these words spoken in complete sincerity and repentance. I also want him to know this doesn’t define who he is and he is so very loved by God, myself and our children. Hugs and prayers to all walking this road. 🙏🏻❤️
Well, my ex's words to me on me being upset on him revealing his affair were:- 'I am sorry you are upset, but those are your emotions and not mine and it is up to you to control your own emotions'.
I wish my ex-husband felt this way. I’m resigned to not ever having any resolution to this nightmare my life has been since he ambushed me with his affair. He told me after 38 years of marriage that he had loved her for 40 years but had been suppressing his true feelings. I feel like he never loved me and the entire marriage was a lie.
So touching to hear. I sit here in tears and so full of emotions knowing that I'll never hear these words from my husband. His every apology since DD in 2017 has been followed by MY accountability for HIS actions. Thank you Samuel for such beautiful words though and sincerely hope more betrayed spouses are helped in their healing as they receive this genuine remorse.
Thank you Sam and Laurie. I needed to hear everything said. Things I didn't realize I needed to hear were said. I'm thankful the idea of this video, helping me hear what I'm never going to hear from him. I'm going to listen to it on repeat a couple of times. Thank you again, helping me put my heart back together 💔❤️💔❤️💔
Being a betrayed husband, I have noticed that most everything on this matter (online) is from the perspective that the husband is the unfaithful spouse or the abuser, and the wife is always the victim. It seems like their is no place, community, or solace for the betrayed man. My trauma is real. My pain is real. My loneliness is real, and all undeserved.
did you watch the videos with Dr. John Haney and I? those will help along with the video by amanda. you're correct in many ways, but there are resources. also, there was a female who read an apology letter to a group of male betrayed spouses but it wasn't recorded. thanks for watching and sharing
@@samshealingpodcast I recommend (PLEASE) that you record this from the voice of a wife. It would be such a ministry to me.
@@KevinKallsen - This apology was originally written by an unfaithful wife. Samuel edited it to make it his own. At Hope Rising, the author read the letter to the betrayed men in a separate location from where Samuel gave his to the betrayed women. It was very powerful. She, however, was not comfortable with being recorded. I hope that you knowing that the apology was written by a wife will help.
@@AffairrecoveryLLC
My wife betrayed me. Now I stay because of my daughter. I live in foreign country with no support. I have been trying for three years. My wife is non remorse full and blames me for everything. Everything is killing me. After 22 years together she is destroying everything good in our live. Very complicated for me. Would love to talk to someone to help me before it kills me. Thanks, Peace.
I feel this. I'm a woman, married to a female sex addict.
I never got the apology after 18 years, and never will. I walked away and never looked back, but the damage lingers on. Thanks for this video.
This is the apology I hope everyone who’s been betrayed receives someday, and not only receives but believes. Someday the betrayer WILL “get it” and why it wasn’t worth destroying someone you love.
thanks for sharing rhonda.
This would be wonderful! I'm still so hurt and cynical, having waited, and still waiting, nearly 4 years for my husband to 'get it'.
@@mickiehowarth1854 same thing with me have not even got any answered questions but I decided to stay well he decided to come back
I cried listening and watching this. I cried because u put words that i so long to hear from my wife. I cried because u put emotions to words that my wife could not. I cried because i feel lonely. I cried because i feel so alienated. I cried because people tell me to get over it, to buck up but i just cant. I cried because im afraid to be happy to be loved by the thought of what it comes back full circle. I cried because at the point of hopelessness, that its ok to hope even if what i see and feel does not translate to that. I cried because i hear my wife speaking those words. Thank you for making me cry a river.
Jonathan,what was the outcome in the end ? I’m 20 months in,and although we are cohabiting,and getting on better,she is still distant and on her FB messaging and Whatsapp all the time
I absolutely needed this. I didn't think there was an apology that would quite cover all the loss I've been feeling. This was it.
I don’t think I ever grieved my wife’s infidelity because I had to be strong for my baby boys and all our family. I don’t think I ever thought I could cry like this. But I’m grateful for this video and this UA-cam channel.
I have needed this for 30 years. My gratitude is immeasurable. I'm sobbing. Thank you deeply.
As the only worthy apology I will ever receive, I intend to watch this every day until I can get through it without sobbing. I can already feel the improvement.
This is 18 months on and I still am in shock at the loss of whom I regarded as my best friend. Every day I try to remind myself that it was and still is his choice, so it is likely to remain so. Sad. But real.
so glad you're here my friend. thanks for watching and commenting.
My exact thoughts. I will be watching this everyday until I can heal (and stop crying my contacts out lol while listening) it hasnt even been a month for me my D Day :(
Literally same. I ugly cried so hard last night listening to this.
This is the best apology that every betrayed should hear - and there's no way to avoid crying.
I listen to this over and over as a reminder that I'm not the one who is broken - I didn't break our marriage, he did and that he has so much healing to do that he isn't ready to face. I just wonder if I can hold on that long.
This is exactly how I’m feeling right now. Still no apology or clarification on why this happened and I don’t know how long I can hold onto the hope this will one day happen for me to even start to heal
Me too.
Samuel
You have no idea how your apology touched my soul. I wanted to approach you since I see you as a friend since you are with me several times a day on my 45 minute drive to work. Though my husband acknowledges my hurt he doesn't realize the damage it did to my self esteem. After that weekend I'm better. But I'm work in progress. Thank you Samuel. I dont know if my marriage is going to make it but even if it doesn't your apology healed a part of me that was broken.
incredibly kind of you Ruth. thank you for sharing that and for being so gracious in your words. means a ton. proud of you for your courage.
I really hope things work out in your favor
As a betrayed spouse, I’m sitting here nodding my head with tears rolling down my face. I never imagined I would hear something that so accurately describes what I’m going through and the shame and hopelessness I feel as a betrayed wife. My husband is still gone and we don’t have contact with each other. He has no idea that I’m still hanging on to a tiny shred of hope that we can someday restore our family. After almost 5 months since DDay and I still cry everyday. I need to take medications for anxiety, depression, high blood pressure and even just to fall asleep at night. The only pain I can imagine that is worse than this would be the loss of a child, which I somewhat feel as well because he’s blocked me from having any contact with my 3 stepchildren. My family doesn’t understand and they just roll their eyes and tell me to get over him and move on when I start to get emotional. As a result, I just stay at home by myself and stay isolated from people who know me to escape the “tough love” treatment. I have a long way to go but I’m so thankful for this video. I pray someday my husband will hear this and we can begin the road to recovery.
I’m sorry you’re going through this.
I am exact as you, going onto 3 years now, and still.
Lisa, it’s beethree years ago and I still haven’t been able to get any apology from my wife. I know how you are feeling and I’m sorry for your pain and burdens you carry. May god continue to bless you and your family.
I’m so sorry
How are you doing?
I wish I could hear those words from my husband. I only hear" I am sorry you feel this way because of me" turning himself to a victim. I wish he could sit down a write a letter like this. I wish I wasnt the one that had to discover his LIES. I wish that when we got together after a separation he would have remembered the PROMISE he made to me that NEVER AGAIN. I wish that after listening to one of the videos he would come from a humble place in his being. I wish I wasnt asking for the impossible ... to be humble and to be understanding as a constant in our relationship. I wish I wish I wouldn't have the empathy to understand him more than he understands me.
I think you have the answers but it so painful to realize what’s gone forever.
Oh man do I understand you
This makes me cry everytime I hear it!! It's the apology I'd give anything to get...ty so much for your videos!! They have saved my life, literally.. i enjoy an appreciate more than I can express!!
Thank you for this. So many of us will never get an apology that conveys they truly understand the damage they did. I wish all unfaithfuls would hear this.
Samuel you are a beacon of light that pushed through some dark times and your vulnerability is astounding and humbling. You and Samantha are incredibly blessed. This was so healing beyond measure 💕
Thank you so much for these words. I’m leaving my husband after almost 16 years together. He has continued to make me feel like “if only x was different” I would not have cheated on you. It is pain to the core of your being. Helpless and hopeless feelings. It shakes your confidence, made me lose my smile. Thank you for the words that I should have heard from him.
Samuel thank you so much for this video. I am the unfaithful wife and you describe everything I was feeling and unable to get my words across to my husband. I don’t know what the future holds for us but I believe in God and his will be done.
Hello 👋
How are you doing now? ❤️
Thank you so much for this apology. I am a betrayed husband and still in complete shock and pain about my wife’s infidelity. It’s been 3 months since the day I found out and it’s been an absolute struggle. I’m mentally and emotionally exhausted as well as physically from the lack of steady sleep. This is the apology that I wish I could get from her. Thank you again for summing up and understanding my pain.
Same brother. Same. Tears in my eyes, I'd give just about anything to hear this from her. I don't think it's ever going to happen.
Im here bc my fiancé & father of my kids cheated on me with a woman who was trying to break us up, and kept it secret for 2 years. It’s been 4 months, and no healing has occurred and he even told me to ‘move on’. This letter made me cry uncontrollably, I hope one day he can tell me these words. I sent him one of the UA-cam AR videos & he seems to be finally understanding how much this has hurt/traumatized me. I have to take anxiety meds and sleeping pills to help my panic attacks/insomnia created by this occurrence. I told him I will not marry him until I am treasured/treated with endless compassion like the affair partner was, because that’s what I deserve having been loving and loyal to him all these years. I just don’t want to feel this unbearable pain anymore.
We must always remember that "cheating" may be a symptom of a mental health issue in the cheater. So, an apology by a cheater may mean something to you but my wife being on the Personality Disorder Spectrum would say anything to "love bomb" me back and then cheat again (as she did).
This is my 2nd time watching this. The first was a year and a half ago and then tonight. I'm 2 and a half years since day. The pain is still there. Not as bad but still there. Thank you Samual for the apology.
THANK you for knowing what we go through.. understanding the trauma we experience is a great part of helping us heal. My biggest obstacle is getting my confidence back and finding who I am in this whole relationship. I feel lost and derailed and cant find my bearings. This is truly the most painful experience I have ever had.
thank you Wedaad. hope you can find help for your own recovery my friend. there's a ton of stuff at affair recovery.com
This is the apology I wish I could get. I cried through the whole thing. Well said
Unfortunately I never received an apology from my husband. 😢Thank you for this one.
Me either. Twentysomething years later....nothing from either of them. One day at a time.
Makes me sad to think he never apologized to you. I hope you're doing better today.
Helen Kuzmich they don’t really know how to apologize
I absolutely sobbed through the whole letter. It is the apology I will never, ever get, from two different mates, one years ago and one from now. Thank you so much for reading this. It was everything that I needed to hear.
I wish my wife felt like that.
Thank you Thank you for this video. I have listened to it over a d over. I am broken in so many pieces, I am so mad at myself for staying. I hate myself for staying, i have to forgive myself for staying. I am on edge every day scared to be hurt again. Everything you said every single word, hit me straight in the heart. Thank you for an apology I will never get.
I hate myself for staying, too. It’s been 52 years and I have nothing but regret
Thank you Samuel for all that you’re doing, this really touched my heart. Your words are a description of my emotional makeup.
-The Betrayed Spouse
He blames me. If I say I'm hurt, he says well I was hurt by you, too. And it turns into a fight and us arguing about who hurt who more and first. And me telling him to just move out.
This was amazing! Thank you Lori for being so transparent in writing such a heartfelt apology and especially to Sam for conveying every thought, every loss, all the pain, tears and emotions we’ve all had to suffer. We’re grateful.
Beyond grateful. These videos help more than my one on one therapy. I feel like you and the team are talking just to me. I'm on the other side of the world, on a different continent but when I listen and watch your videos, I feel that you are in front of just me. This talk on "Apology" reached into my soul. Wish I'd been there to hold the hand of another betrayed spouse and cried with them. I don't know if I'll ever be the same as I was before my world fell apart, but I'm trying, and you guys are my rock right now. As a betrayed and broken wife, this apology talk, spoken from the heart of the unfaithful, reached my core. Thank you for all you do, for the comfort, support and advice you offer with so much unconditional love. Thank you so very much. ❤️
That was very heartfelt and powerful! Help me God to be a better husband! Thanks Sam
my husband watched this with me and held me and cryed while saying i'm so sorry over and over again
what a special moment. so glad that you were both able to do that.
@@samshealingpodcast ,thank you i know we have a long road ahead of us but this is a fantastic start
@@samshealingpodcast , he watches your videos with me now, then we talk about them
I’m so glad your partner is actually able to do this for you. I feel like I will never get this from mine.
Thank you for this. I've been listening to this once every couple of days. When you don't hear these words, you need empathy from somewhere. Thank you for all that your organization is doing. This is needed. Please keep going.
you're very welcome. it encourages me so much to read your kind words.
I cant stop crying!! It felt like this is exactly what i need and what i really feel deep inside.. thank you Sam!! I have been watching your video blogs this past few days. Its part of my routine going to work and going home and it helped me a lot. I just cant express how thankful i am to you and your blog. More power and Godbless you!
Because of these words, I can live another day. Thank you
This was amazing. I was emotional and cried as I I will never receive her apology or acknowledgement that she was wrong for hurting me. I am going to be okay, I accept that you are truly gone. I never thought I'd give up hope on our love and relationship but I have no choice. I'll own my imperfections and take responsibility for my share of failures that resulted in our divorce. I forgive you and I will always cherish the experiences both good and bad we shared forever. God bless us all!
This brings me to tears. My wife never came home after her infidelities destroyed our marriage and family. I will never get an apology for the choices that she made so I listen to this. I hold samuel dear to my heart for sharing his journey with us betrayed
I only found out about my husbands infidelity 3 weeks ago. I was shattered to say the least. Still am. I never thought that he would ever actualy do it. And that with the one person he said I need not to worry about. It is not the infidelity it self that hurts but all the lies. Blaming me for his choices and making himself the victim. No apology or recognition of his wrong doing. Not seeing how broken and utterly shattered I am. Ripping me apart with each and every word he speaks at any given moment the opportunity that arises. Making me feel guilty and shameful for the truth that came to light. Making me the bad one with family and friends. And somehow for some twisted reason I cannot help to see him as this shattered person he is. This apology ripped through every ounce of my body. Wondering if he ever will be remorseful. Will he ever see what it did to me and our children. I can't ' help feeling hopeless and hopefull at the same time. So confusing while trying to pick up the peaces left of my heart.
How are you doing now?
Girl I was amazed at how much ours stories are like.he want apologize he blamed me and no remorse regret not shit..little anger and name calling
I felt like this was me writing this! 2 months on I still cannot believe it. The person that promised he would never hurt me like that and he eventually chose to. And won’t tell me why or offer an apology for what he has done or the mess he has created. I have so much anger and pain and feel like it will never get better.
I have watched this video a few times, and I have cried every time I do. Thank you, thank you Samuel for this video, thank you for understanding. Thank you for being there. I have never felt so alone in my whole life. It's been six months since the last D-day. I have good days and not so good days, but haven't had a "bad day" in almost a month. ( I'm praying hard that the bad days are gone. Although, I'm sure they will come back at some point.)I will keep fighting and praying. Thank you again for all the video's, they have helped a lot!!!!!! Please keep on making them. Much to love to your wife and you.
thank you for such great encouragement my friend. appreciate it so much.
My wife has justified her affairs. I don’t know if she will ever understand the pain of emasculation, deceit, imagery, and numerous negative emotions I sit in daily. I can’t control her actions. What u can do is control who I want to be despite her choices. I don’t know if she will ever apologize nor be accountable for her actions. What I do know is as each day goes by and she refuses to apologize the pain continues. I also know I have to make some hard choices. Please pray for all who suffer from betrayal. TY for this apology.
If I did not have access to these videos I may have done something drastic. May God bless you for your honesty and humility. You have saved many lives including me.
I watched this a couple of years ago, right after d day, but it didn’t move me like it did tonight. After 2.5 more years of trying to recover from continued betrayals, hearing it now means more than you know. Thank you for the most heartfelt and honest apology that I see now that I may never receive, so I will accept this one; it moved me so much and made me cry tears of forgiveness.
I'm going thru the part of giving them trust back from where they lost n gained and didn't keep trust long.
This made me cry. I have had 5 years of apologies from my husband. He met with her on Monday it was to end it once and for all. So what happened? She invited him into her house for a coffee - big mistake! Tgey ended up half naked and played with each other. My husband said it wasn't anything too bad 😮😈. He doesn't understand why I'm so traumatised by the whole sordid affair. We've just celebrated our 43rd wedding anniversary, he's 77 and I'm 62, his mistress is 72. This evening I have decided once and for all that he and her can be together. My health and sanity is more important to me that their infatuation with each other. So if my husband wanted to apologise to me yet again I would tell him to stick it where the sun don't shine.
Hey, how are you doing now?
Thank you so much....that pain never goes away...he blamed me , abused me and my children...God bless you.
I cried watching this..so heartbreaking how we hurt our spouses this much
I cried like a baby watching this, from the seemingly never ending pain of my husband's infidelity. I'll never be the same.
i have the utmost respect for the courage it takes to stand up and share from both sides. to shed light on dark situations. well done.
Thank you.. May never get this from my husband but this is what I needed...
so glad i could help you in some way
I've wanted this for so long.
I'll never get it in person. He lacks too much empathy, and is entitled. It wont ever change. He will never be there for me to cry on while really, truly apologizing. He can't. He just doesn't care that much.
Iam a single father who sees his son on weekends and holidays every now and then I listen to your videos this ranks with the best. If I had gotten something close I may not have lift her
I wish for an apology from the person who betrayed me. This has not happened yet. I find it difficult to move forward, but am doing it. This presentation is on point.
AMEN, Good tears!!! Bless this message on everyone listening...Bless this Ministry AMEN
thank you kimberly
I have never received an apology, thank you for everything I needed to hear.
Samuel, you are a freakin’ saint. Only on very rare occasion has anyone inspired in me the degree of respect that I feel for you.
I have been crying this entire video. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart for posting this.
I am on both sides of this letter. Thank you so much for reading it. I went and apologized again tonight. It was a much better apology this time.
How is it going now ?
This is exactly what I needed to hear today. I wanted to do be apart of this but I had a wedding out of town to attend that day. I am still struggling. Getting better as days go by. Your videos have helped me. I am trying to work through the pain. My husband just wants me to move on and forget it. I can't. It has been 7 months. He hasn't apologized to my kids. I feel that is important. I don't feel like he has truly apologized to me.. he says he feels bad and it shouldn't have happened but the way I treated him.... using me as an excuse. He has accused me for about 28 years of cheating. I never did. Eventually I shut down and gave him the silent treatment that he has done to me all these years which lead him to affairs. Thank you for all that you do. It can't be easy for you and your wife.
you're very kind. thank you for those encouraging words Denise. i'm sorry for the journey but I know you're courageous and will walk through this with your head held high and your eyes will regain their sparkle. don't give up on you.
@@samshealingpodcast thank you...I will keep working on the recovery. Until you go through something like this, no one could ever imagine all the pain, the thoughts, and the paralyzing effect on your life. Taking it day by day.
Holding out my hand to you...
@@daviddeniseunrein4200 This is very true. No one can ever know the pain and torture of it unless they've gone through it themselves. I'm sorry for what you are going through.
My pain is real and just like you I struggle every day it will be 9 months and I am slowly coming out of my coma. This apology I will except it for my husband that I will never receive something so powerful and heart felt. I watch these videos all the time they have helped me so much thank you for your words of hope however this ends up.
I know this is an older video. But, it's found me just when I needed it. Thank you.
Thank you Samuel for this video, it me cried a lot but it is all so true! My husband infidelity happened many years ago but for his behave with a coworker two years ago, while I was going under Chemotherapy, I I started to remember things and the droughts I had then. The bombs started been drop little by little since two years ago with lots of lies. Two months ago, I discovered the whole true. The pain I am into is as deep as if it happened just now. We have been watching your videos , witch have helped a lot but I don't know if I will ever heal. We are in our 60th, and I think it makes it harder to know that my life has been a whole fake!
I have just heard this video. It spoke to every hurt I have felt over the years. My husband had an affair 52 years ago, I know nothing about how long it lasted. His work wife called me and told me they had been seeing each other and she was pregnant. I found the son on social media and the PTSD for 2 1/2 years has been horrible. Worst than the problem when it happened. I’m 80 years old and better but still have so much resentment and even bitterness. I guess I’ll die alone in this misery. My family thinks I have every kind of mental disorder they can come up with. I don’t have anyone.
Im sorry for what your going through i to have been going through the same thing. What scares me the most is that my memory is declining and the good memories i will lose but this one will stay with me to the end.
Watched this today with my husband, who revealed his now-ended affair about 4 weeks ago. Because he apologized for almost everything mentioned in the letter, I think my healing has been quite profound already. I cried a good bit watching the video. Even though he’s apologized profusely, and is actively showing me how is heart has changed, it still was nice to hear all of this.
After 34 years of marriage and 10 years after divorce and longing to get an apology these words has helped me. I thought i had healed but i know now I had not. Making a go at a reconciliation just reopened the old wounds when he lied to me, never apologized, just made excuses as a narcissist would. I realize i was not dealing with other women, i was dealing with childhood trauma of my husband that he never got treatment or healed from. As I truly heal and rebuild my life, I do it with the help of YAH (GOD). Hate takes too much energy. My health has began to suffer now. I have to get things together. Thanks so much for this video.
This was an amazingly written letter. Beyond profound. This put everything into words that me the unfaithful wants to tell my betrayed spouse
I completely agree I betrayed my spouse and have committed to changing my ways and working and doing everything necessary I can to fix our relationship and I’ve found it hard to put my apology into word by mouth or words but this put everything i try to tell him or want to tell him but can’t put into words. To all the betrayed from the unfaithful some of us do want to change and will do anything to repair the damage. Sometimes it’s hard to apologize without sounding like we are trying to speed up the healing process but when some of us apologize over and over it’s not fake or misplaced it’s just hard to say all the words he just said but we mean all the words and all the things he has said. To the unfaithful if you decide to stay and change love them through all of it and make sure to keep telling them and showing them you choose them even on the bad days and take ownership on those days.
@@davalynsumtis4982 Hi there, I'm an unfaithful - I confessed to my partner a few days ago and I have to say , seeing myself and seeing who I was and really am and what I've done - I would not wish this on anyone.
Are you guys doing any better ? Seeing success stories gives me hope..
Then TELL her!
He’s only ever apologized for lying to me, nothing else. He hasn’t come clean, and I don’t think he ever will.
Samuel this is your one video that deserves 1 million views. Thank you for doing this. I know it must have been hard for you.
My husband told me to 'get over it' and my pain was upsetting his life.
This is the first time I have sobbed to a video on UA-cam..well...ever. It perfectly acknowledges the many different ways a betrayed are hurt because of a betrayal. So many layers it penetrates- all in the name of selfish self serving actions, some even that I myself as a betrayed 2 years 4 months past dday..have only begun realize. So many times I thought perhaps I was "over dramatic", but I see now since discovering this channel, I am not in fact as alone in this as I thought. Thank you for this.
Love it, thank you! Slowly and steadily, living victorious over this nightmare. Better everyday. THANK YOU, LORD!
God blissing us don’t worry ❤
29 years and not even a “thanks…see ya”. This was great to hear from someone.
So powerful, so needed.
Thank Rick, Samuel & The Entire AR FAMILY🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙏
Thank you for sharing this Samuel. I've watched it 4 times now and this was what I desperately needed but never received.
thanks for watching and posting daniel. so glad you're here.
This video alone helped me decide to try again through my total instructive feelings about everything I'm crying why I write this but this video helped me more than anything and when I told three of my closest unjudgmental friends this is what I said to them explain to them why I'm going to try to work through this Thank you for this Thank you for being humble and thank you for sharing a horrible experience that you survived from thing to say thank you because I was hopeless
Until he "gets it," if he ever does, I have to watch this every now and then to feel understood. Thank you, Samuel, for making me feel better today.
Did he get it yet. ? Seriously very curious because sometimes they aren’t capable early on.
This has been a breathe of fresh air for me! Being faithful is all I have to offer
What I feel the most sorry about is all my hope, ilussion, the romance lost in just a few months of marriage. And having no one to talk about it.
So well written and therapeutic for so many of us!
I wish I could find a group to belong to. That letter speaks to every single thing I have been feeling.
there are online groups for the betrayed spouse here: www.affairrecovery.com/product/harboring-hope
Overcoming Infidelity Are there any for the unfaithful?
@@CharlyInCharge1 absolutely my friend....we unfaithful are people too. here you go: www.affairrecovery.com/product/hope-for-healing
@@CharlyInCharge1 I would love this too.
This was painfully beautiful
Wow. Wish I were there, shared pain. Wish that every cheating partner would, one day reach to this place.❤
SHREE DEVI hope they will realize n feel one day!
I promise you, we get there! Took me about 3 years but I finally did! I’m working on a letter for my husband so far is 10pages and I’m not even close to being done. Will be praying for you ❤️
@@AnaBananaM28 how are you now
This had me in tears. Thank you so much.
Tears streamed down my face as you read that letter, I know I will never get that apology from my spouse because although I tried to forgive over and over (enabled I'm sure, due to feeling trapped by army life thus distance from support systems), he returned to affair and filed divorce. (So yes I feel abandoned with our children). I want to thank you and all that helped for being man enough to put that together as it hits the ❤️ and so many of the hurts. Thank you!
Thank you! Luckily my husband woke up and he has been amazing through our healing process. It’s been a little over a year with still a long way to go, but with these videos i feel like we are well on our way to recovery. Thanks Samuel!
my pleasure my friend. so glad you're here.
Sometimes it’s extremely difficult to forgive. Thank you so Much for this video. It touched my heart.♥️
I am was an unfaithfull husband. For a long time i have been looking for words that can describe how truly she means to me and how mu h so sorry iam to bring her to a place that was unknown to her where her or no one else should be. I brought trauma, grief and pain to her. The lonleyness and anxiety and insecurities to her and kids. Thanks for this piece
Women aren't the only one who have been cheated on. There are a lot of broken husbands there as well
Andy Pettigrew here here. And it hurts like hell.
@Kevin Kennett please take care! If you feel you are a threat to yourself now, please call the suicide hotline at 1-800-273-8255.
AMEN I AM ONE OF THEM
Wow! Speechless, thank you. I feel empowered as a woman. I am not alone!
I need him to get it. I so desperately want to hear these words spoken in complete sincerity and repentance. I also want him to know this doesn’t define who he is and he is so very loved by God, myself and our children. Hugs and prayers to all walking this road. 🙏🏻❤️
I said Thank You so many times watching this!!!!!!! ♥️ Thank you Affair Recovery - Samuel. You are so relatable. Thank you!!!!!!!
Samuel, you are a god send..you have helped me so much along my journey. may god bless you a thousand fold
you're kind my friend. thank you so much.
Well, my ex's words to me on me being upset on him revealing his affair were:- 'I am sorry you are upset, but those are your emotions and not mine and it is up to you to control your own emotions'.
I wish my ex-husband felt this way. I’m resigned to not ever having any resolution to this nightmare my life has been since he ambushed me with his affair. He told me after 38 years of marriage that he had loved her for 40 years but had been suppressing his true feelings. I feel like he never loved me and the entire marriage was a lie.
So touching to hear. I sit here in tears and so full of emotions knowing that I'll never hear these words from my husband. His every apology since DD in 2017 has been followed by MY accountability for HIS actions. Thank you Samuel for such beautiful words though and sincerely hope more betrayed spouses are helped in their healing as they receive this genuine remorse.
Never got a real apology as my wife has very little empathy for my trauma.
Oh my. I cried through the whole thing.
So deeply touching and comforting. Thankyou so much for sharing this outside of the workshop, it is so needed ❤️
you're very welcome. thank you for posting.
i needed to hear this because I will never hear anything even close to this from my husband for the 2+ year affair he had...
Thank you Sam and Laurie. I needed to hear everything said. Things I didn't realize I needed to hear were said. I'm thankful the idea of this video, helping me hear what I'm never going to hear from him. I'm going to listen to it on repeat a couple of times. Thank you again, helping me put my heart back together 💔❤️💔❤️💔
I needed to hear this, thank you for the apology
Wow, that hit home on so many levels for me as the betrayed husband. Incredible