Well, I Missed Out On My Listening Test Through Google Meet, Which Is Quite Vital For My College Final Examinations. In Which, I Can Impeccably Assume My Scores For The Listening Test, Which Is Vitally Calculated For My Upcoming Final Examinations Would Be An Equivalent To ZERO. I Don't Think I'll Ever Recover From That One, Especially My Lecturer's Utter Disappointment Due To My Own Idiocracy Of Not Being Able To Find The "Link" In Google Meet To Participate For The Listening Test A Days Ago And I Literally Just Sat There In Front Of My Computer, Wondering Where Did Everyone Went To... Judging By The Fact That I Even Needed To Watch A Video About Apology, Truly Demonstrates My Ignorance And Incompetence As A Normal Human Being. For Now, I'll Use Your Format, Including The Host In This Video's Format To Write A Letter Of Apology To My Lecturer To Show An Acknowledgement Of The Mistakes I Had Made. I Probably Owed More Than An Apology To My Lecturer, As Well As My Mom, My Father, My Grandparents, My Friends... Wait, I Don't Have One... My Pet Dog, My Pet Tortoise... Oh My Lord... I'll Probably End Up Working For McDonald's, Save Up Enough Money To Start A Farm, Learn About Blockchain Technology... Before The World Reserve Currency Of US Dollar Went Hyperinflation, Where Baby Boomers' Pension Funds Will Be Cut Down To Virtually Nothing Left By The Central Banks And Wall Street, As Global Pension Crisis Ravages Throughout The Globe, Crashes The Global Economy Soon Later In Year 2025 Or 2026, Civil War Wreaks Havoc... Dammit, Things Are Not Looking Good...
It's not the act of apologising that I find difficult, it's finding a way to word it in a way that doesn't sound selfish or dishonest edit: turns out the reason I'm bad at communication is autism🧍♂️
Thanks for giving the point from the start. I wish school would do that. We'd have a much better education system and people wouldn't drop out like flies.
That is all pride and ego. It takes a big person to admit their faults and do things to amend it. Maybe you are scared they won't forgive you or have an attitude toward you, or maybe you're afraid that you didnt mean it or that you really won't change
I started apologising for things I’ve done not long after this comment six months ago. After I do it it’s like a breath of relief because it’s not as bad as my brain convinced me it was. I think I’ve improved a lot and have started apologising for past behaviour. I’ve also calmed down considerably, actually thinking before I act in everyday life. I believe I’m better than I was before and will continue to be like this in future. Thank you for the replies as they’ve helped me realise what I was doing wrong.
I lost the greatest person in my life because of something that happened to me and I took it out on her. I later told her the truth and tried to apologize. "Just leave me alone please." Her last words to me. If you ever see this, you know who I'm talking to, I'm sorry. I was wrong. I want you to be happy. If you are happy with the way your life is, and who is in it, I can't change your mind. How you spend your time and who you spend it with is entirely up to you. I haven't heard you speak so highly of someone since who you were with in the past. I know he's a great guy from what you've said. And it was wrong for me to say such things about him. And you. If he can love and protect you, then I can live my life. I'm happy for you, and how far you've come. You're a smart girl, you have a good heart, and you have a very great life. And if your last wish of me to leave you is the only way you'll forgive me, then that's exactly what I'll do. I need time to reflect on my mistakes, and time to forgive myself. I pray that someday, we do see each other again. And perhaps rebuild. Until then, you take care. Be safe. And have a good life, Breanna. I love you, little sister.
I am in the same place as you are, I made a lot of mistakes and that made me lose the person I loved the most. Saying sorry sometimes doesn't change things.
when a person explodes at another person, it literally kills your future with that person; because it terrifies the recipient, and it portrays their future with them as including regular episodes of similar behavior they are going to receive.
Solid talk Mr Kalantar. I had a rough patch with the missus last year and believe it or not your talk was the turning point to get her back. All she needed was a genuine apology
I watched this video 20+ times while forming an apology. Ive been trying to apologize properly for months so Thank you Jahan Kalantar you helped me save a friendship that i ruined
@@fog- No time is too late! I took a chance, it worked out. I can’t guarantee that it will work out but at least they’ll know you’re sorry. It’s not about wether it fixes everything, it’s about them knowing you’re sorry. Wether they accept an apology is up to them.
I have no regrets watching this video, with the help of this I even managed to help reconnect with one of the friends I had a terrible argument with. I honestly felt so much better after apologizing in the first place, but this helped me achieve the best possible outcome. I'm very thankful people like this exist to help people, whether it be in court or online haha.
Excellent! And one point, when people are nice they never hurt others or need to apologize. Some people are so careless they never even bother to apologize while all they do is hurt, hurt and hurt others. That's how my mother died, hurt to death and nobody ever cared.
It’s so true that a cogent apology shouldn’t contain fancy words and sound scripted. Honesty and sincerity are the aspects that will convince your audience. You have to add meaning to it by describing it and enriching it. Expressions like “it won’t recur” are reassuring to your listeners.
I was projecting my own Insecurity onto a close friend a year ago and well :^) I honestly hate myself for it, I was not a good person last year and I'm doing my best to change but I don't think they'll ever be able to trust me again
Do your best and let go of results. You can't control whether or not your friend ever trusts you again. There are many variables with that, and many of them have nothing to do with you or anything you've ever done. Do your best to be your best self, one minute at a time. For me, that means I need to take care of myself and make sure I am in a good place mentally/physically/emotionally/spiritually at all times. I am less likely to hurt others when I am fully taken care of, and only I am responsible for taking care of myself. I try to stay aware of my feelings at all times. Feelings are normally indicators of something and they guide us on what we need to do. When I have a feeling, I pay attention to it, validate it, and try to figure out what I need to do. Maybe there is a need I need to fulfill. Maybe I need to go do something other than what I'm currently doing. Maybe I need to go for a walk, journal, pray, eat, drink some water, take a shower, relax, breathe, do something enjoyable, etc. If we fully take care of ourselves and love ourselves, we are much more likely to not treat others in harmful ways. You must forgive yourself for any wrong you've done in the past (whether or not the other party is capable of forgiving you yet) and look ahead. Shame does not make us a better person. Grace does.
i ghosted my friend who did this. she could fix things if she wanted, but hasn't made the effort. that's 100% her choice. if she waits too long, i may decide differently. life is better without her petty, envious little digs at me.
@@rodkneehitstp5449 i'd say that to make things right, one has to: 1) change herself, improve her character 2) apologize 3) offer to make it right, and even have a specific idea or two how you can do so if the victim wants to hear them. anything less shows that the perp is not sorry and should just stay away.
It’s not just “why, because and and.” It’s got to be genuine - but I learned it goes like this. 1. I’m sorry. (Be real, and genuine) 2. I made a mistake … (admit it was you, own it) (The last part is most critical) 3. How can I fix this. Everyone forgets #3. Practice this method on children, or whomever and watch them learn the art of an apology.
My apologies, I did not intend to mislead YOU with my statement, at all! If I had to rewrite it, 7 months ago, I should have taken more care to be slower and diligent, I definitely would have addressed the 'person in #1 being genuine' (as I do irl). That was certainly my mistake. If you'll accept my apology, I would also say, I do like your name MoonWalker! I hope you have a marvellous day! @@moonwalker_818
This is a great speech from one of the rising stars of criminal lawyers. It would be a pity if Jahan's effort in contributing to the legal study is not recognised.
I made a death threat. I feel very ashamed. I don’t know what to do. I felt painful remorse the night after. I don’t know what to do. If anyone knows/is willing to help me. I would feel better about myself.
understand that the person on the receiving end may be in constant fear now and maybe looking for ways to do to u what u threatened then with so my simple advice is to asap sincerely aopologize
My advice to persons looking for a good way to apologize: hear the other person out. Ask them what is bothering them and what they were thinking and feeling in that moment. Try to understand and empathize. For example say: I see how my action to...(insert) .. caused you to feel... (insert). Even if you don't think you did something wrong, try to validate the persons feelings. To do this you need to have confidence in yourself to be open to criticism, without defending yourself. Also ask the person how they are, after the hurt. That's really important too. And if you feel that they are important to you, make sure you let them know! For example say that you really value their friendship and that you hope they can forgive you and you want tor rebuild the trust that was broken. Also ask how you can do that. Once you apologized, give the person time to receive the apology. This may take some time and should not be rushed. You can not make the person accept it, they have to do it on their own terms. Be patient if you really love or like that person and want to make amends.
Sometimes I wonder if I am genuine when I apologize because I DO mean it, and yet I go right back to the things I ask forgiveness for. Doesn't that mean I truly don't mean it or I purposely sabotage relationships because of it? Saying sorry isn't the hard part... But acting on it and staying true to being different, the next time around 😔
Learn good intentions, start acting them out, make it habit. You have to allow yourself time to grow into habits or else you’ll fall into the same hole time and time again
I literally told my sister to wait for 7 minutes as I finish this TED talk before I apolofize, so I love you man, thank you for this amazing sharing because you made me know the proper way to authentically apologize to my sister and I hope I can continue to remember the lesson you give for this small 7 minutes in my life.
A great talk done by Jahan Kalantar! I can vouch it has added value too me, where I can use these 3 steps in making an apology sounds so vulnerable and authentic that I mean every word. Congrats once again 👏
I said something really insensitive to my mother in law who just got diagnosed with cancer. I feel so horrible and ashamed. I hope to forgive myself and be forgiven by her. I rarely feel this low.
If the man in the story spent 8 hours writing an apology letter, I feel good about spending that time writing an apology letter too. Thank you for sharing.
This is a great video.. I accidentally made meggo feel terrible and bad and I’ve never felt more guilty in my life. So hopefully this video will help me create a more authentic and genuine apology, thank you, meggo, I’m sorry
Inspirational talk: 'mia culpa' ... 'to err is human and to forgive is divine' ... that's what i have heard of ... YES ... Honest Apology and genuine (authentic) thanks does have the power to heal broken hearts and generational misunderstandings ... like 'Rudd Apology on 13/2/2008.....!!!
2nd video on apologies. No1 talks how sorry doesn't mean right or wrong. It's about caring about upsetting each other. And goodwill authenticly afterwards is best
Sometimes people apologize not because they did something wrong. They apologize because they are good person and don't want to start a war based on religion back in home country over small things like tweets etc. They are visionary and look into the future and don't want unnecessary drama. " It's important to know where to loose."
saying the apology is easy because I know what I did and why I did it. the hard part for me is if I will actually change my behaviour after that for real. I worry the apology will all be for nothing anyway because I don't trust myself enough if I can really go through with the change:(((
I've let down a friend. Many times, actually. And I feel awful for it; she stuck with me through a lot of rough times. And now I've cost her a lot of months of stress because my anxiety makes me an awful communicator. I'm working on myself, but in the meantime all I can do is say sorry before I make myself worthy my friend.
Stay confident of yourself that you'll get through it! Before you can inform others that you stood up wrong before, you need to stand up properly right now.
I was taught in the 1960s apologizing was part of growing psychologically and emotionally. Apologizing sincerely isn't difficult for my generation (obviously, not everyone). The "Everybody makes mistakes." excuse has taken the place of accountability. Next, learn the difference between offering an explanation and making an excuse. Professional maturity involves both apologizing and eliminating excuses.
I keep screwing up friendships. I don't blame myslef but I still feel terrible about it. I have so much going on in my life. Balancing my life/emotions, school/future and social life/friends is hard. It isnt an excuse but a reason. I overthink things and I get scared and I can't think straight. I overreact and I regrett it. Why? Becuase I know what it feels like to be mistreated and I get scared that I will get mistreated agian. I am scared and confused and embarrassed and guilty. I wish I could make then understand but they shouldn't have to put up with my problems. I think I ruined a really good friendship. Or at least lost a good friend
When I was in the military, I learned that it’s pointless to apologize. You’re forced to carry around your mistakes forever because they never forgive, or forget. I am a genuinely contrite person and feel remorse for all my mistakes. But I feel that apologizing will not make one difference to how people feel. So it’s useless to try. Even recently, I got in trouble with an authority figure and I didn’t apologize. Because it wouldn’t change how they felt. One bad deed invalidates one hundred good deeds.
Sorry about what you experienced. However I personally believe an apology is not always about being forgiven. Sometimes they may never forgive you. An apology should never be a means to end your guilt but to learn. It is about conveying your sincerity. They my not forgive you but they definitely would appreciate it. An apology is not for you but for the other person. I believe it is your responsibility to carry the guilt and your mistake, it is the least one can do.
I hope my dad forgives me. I hated him all my life and now I just lashed out. I made a letter full of my anger, the things I think he did comepletely wrong, and consecutive curses. I felt good after sending it so I went to sleep, waiting for his reply in the morning. But the second I woke up, I regretted it. I thought about all the good things he did for me growing up. It's just so hard right now. I don't know what to do. He's giving me the cold shoulder so I told my mom about it. I think he's very angry at me, but I'm confused why he isn't yelling at me? Threatening to slam my head onto the wall? Why isn't he saying the usual words he says when he's mad? I'm confused, this hasn't happened before. My mom told me he was probably hurt with what I said. She told me my dad had emotions too. He's still wrong though but- ARGHHHHHH fml
I had the same issue just with a friend. I wrote a passive agressive letter saying how wrong they were and how i was right. But then i thought for a couple months and i realized that there was good lots of it. Give him some time and try again this time dont add buts or ands just say you are sorry.
As parents u have to do good things for your kid because you have bring them into this world but u have no right to hurt them. So probably u did the right thing!
An employee wrote me an apology letter for touching crew members too much. Casual touches, like on arms or shoulders. He was always very outgoing and tactile at work. Still, I'd taken him to my colleague’s office for a chat and told him he shouldn't touch anyone without consent. Just handshakes. I said we needed the workers to be comfortable in a good work environment, that he pretty much shouldn't talk about anything other than work and school. How he shouldn't tell his stories because they may be inappropriate to some degree to the other workers; funny to him only. I think he’s about 25, give or take. He seemed pretty quiet and uncomfortable during my speech. Answered a question or two with a nod and headshake. I even said to my present colleague "Is there anything you want to add?" I didn't realize how insensitive I was that day. That day after work, I saw him and some woman from my apartment's balcony. On the road, a truck almost hit him, and he BARELY got out of the way in time. He could've been KlLLED. He looked horrified and distraught. His friend comforted him and led him away from the area, rubbing his back as they left. They didn't notice a letter that had fallen out of his hoodie pocket. I went down to bring it to him if he was still within sight, but he was gone by them. I noticed the letter was addressed to me. He wrote that he was so sorry for making his coworkers uncomfortable and that he never meant to. That he wouldn't have if he had known. That he wanted to make things right and redeem himself. He also explained that he had ASD and sometimes acted socially flawed, inappropriately jocular, and unfiltered. He said he felt so bad about that and that whenever he got the impression someone didn't like him, he would be quiet around them to avoid provoking them. He also wanted the person he discomforted to know he was sorry. Well, now _I'm_ sorry, because in certain ways, I didn't handle the work situation so well. Our last moment together would've been in the office had the truck ended him. I wasn't very respectful to the poor guy. So how do _I_ apologize?
I can’t apologize cuz my friend blocked me I annoy her as a friend of course everybody annoys somebody but I went a little to far and oh god I feel terrible it’s all I can think about
Same here. I was so annoying and asked her for like one thing, i didnt notice i was being annoying or rude. Edit: i apologized and we are friends again 😺
Can someone help me out so me and my teacher are pretty close we are related and so I made a joke and that offended her and it was meant to be sarcastic but she took it another way and I apologised as soon as I reached home from her home and she kept me on read and saw the message and just informed me about tuitions timings and it's really awkward now idk what to do
@@aleb6245 hm, i think you should try apologizing in person if you havent, explain that it was suppost to be sarcastic And apologize once more. When i apologized about a joke that offended my friend i said i was sorry about the joke she took personally and said i shouldnt have said that. Sorry if this makes no sense
Im too scared for the apology because i dont wanna make them feel more hurt and dont want them to think that i want them to feel bad, but one friendship i lost, hopefully wont be lost forever. 😢
The action of apologizing isn’t difficult to me here’s an example, when I say I’m sorry I promise it won’t happen again, but scared it will and when it does I believe they won’t accept it next time.
Can someone tell me if this is a good apology:, I am so sorry for saying those things that hurt you. I am sorry for being rude to you. I am sorry for how I acted. And I am sorry for taking this long to realize my mistake and apologizing for it. I understand that you may never want to be friends or even speak to me again but if you allow me to, I will make a commitment to being a good friend and support you through all your ups and downs. I will support all of your decisions. I will try my very best to never hurt you again.
Brother you have no idea how thankful I am 🥺🥺🥺 That was very very very much helpful It was perfect Thank you 🥺 I accidentally deleted my besttt friend's THE importants cuz i didnot notice as hurry got me😣i was furious. That's all excuse though😖😖😖i should have noticed Now the guilt is burning Its gone! He trusted me! I'm remembering all the dark of my life And its not great And this video helped. Thank you so much 🥺
What you’re sorry for
Why this makes you sorry
What you will do in the future
The Fake Slim Shady thank you😂
I’m here before Ted deletes your comment. ( I know that won’t happen so enough though )
Thank you. I watched this video a hundred times at least today. But drafting my apology today reading what you said also helped me get that checklist
Thanks
Well, I Missed Out On My Listening Test Through Google Meet, Which Is Quite Vital For My College Final Examinations.
In Which, I Can Impeccably Assume My Scores For The Listening Test, Which Is Vitally Calculated For My Upcoming Final Examinations Would Be An Equivalent To ZERO. I Don't Think I'll Ever Recover From That One, Especially My Lecturer's Utter Disappointment Due To My Own Idiocracy Of Not Being Able To Find The "Link" In Google Meet To Participate For The Listening Test A Days Ago And I Literally Just Sat There In Front Of My Computer, Wondering Where Did Everyone Went To...
Judging By The Fact That I Even Needed To Watch A Video About Apology, Truly Demonstrates My Ignorance And Incompetence As A Normal Human Being.
For Now, I'll Use Your Format, Including The Host In This Video's Format To Write A Letter Of Apology To My Lecturer To Show An Acknowledgement Of The Mistakes I Had Made.
I Probably Owed More Than An Apology To My Lecturer, As Well As My Mom, My Father, My Grandparents, My Friends... Wait, I Don't Have One... My Pet Dog, My Pet Tortoise... Oh My Lord...
I'll Probably End Up Working For McDonald's, Save Up Enough Money To Start A Farm, Learn About Blockchain Technology... Before The World Reserve Currency Of US Dollar Went Hyperinflation, Where Baby Boomers' Pension Funds Will Be Cut Down To Virtually Nothing Left By The Central Banks And Wall Street, As Global Pension Crisis Ravages Throughout The Globe, Crashes The Global Economy Soon Later In Year 2025 Or 2026, Civil War Wreaks Havoc...
Dammit, Things Are Not Looking Good...
It's not the act of apologising that I find difficult, it's finding a way to word it in a way that doesn't sound selfish or dishonest
edit: turns out the reason I'm bad at communication is autism🧍♂️
Or sounding like you are making excuses
Omg yesss
I am quite sure it won´t happen when you speak from the heart.
John 3:16 For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life
@@madisonvlado3937 Amen ! & right its so hard to word it to make is seem like im being honest.
Why you're sorry,
Because you feel sorry,
And what you'll do to make up for it.
Thanks for giving the point from the start. I wish school would do that. We'd have a much better education system and people wouldn't drop out like flies.
@@darielrowe1324 Giving you the answers isn't as important as understanding why its the answer.
A proper apology is something to be treasured, glad there is real guidance! Props to the speaker
A proper apology is when both parties take responsibility for the role they played in a conflict and they both apologize for hurting one another!
UA-camr: *Furiously taking notes*
lol. so true.
John 3:16 For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life
The mindfulness book "30 Days to Stop Apologizing" by Harper Daniels is helpful.
Another good word would be “rapidly”
😂
I feel so awkward and weird apologising and it kinda scares me to do it
agreed
That is all pride and ego. It takes a big person to admit their faults and do things to amend it. Maybe you are scared they won't forgive you or have an attitude toward you, or maybe you're afraid that you didnt mean it or that you really won't change
Because its vulnerability - the anti thesis to the anger that was much easier to express. Balance it out, get vulnerable
I started apologising for things I’ve done not long after this comment six months ago. After I do it it’s like a breath of relief because it’s not as bad as my brain convinced me it was. I think I’ve improved a lot and have started apologising for past behaviour. I’ve also calmed down considerably, actually thinking before I act in everyday life. I believe I’m better than I was before and will continue to be like this in future. Thank you for the replies as they’ve helped me realise what I was doing wrong.
John 3:16 For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life
I lost the greatest person in my life because of something that happened to me and I took it out on her. I later told her the truth and tried to apologize. "Just leave me alone please." Her last words to me. If you ever see this, you know who I'm talking to, I'm sorry. I was wrong. I want you to be happy. If you are happy with the way your life is, and who is in it, I can't change your mind. How you spend your time and who you spend it with is entirely up to you. I haven't heard you speak so highly of someone since who you were with in the past. I know he's a great guy from what you've said. And it was wrong for me to say such things about him. And you. If he can love and protect you, then I can live my life. I'm happy for you, and how far you've come. You're a smart girl, you have a good heart, and you have a very great life. And if your last wish of me to leave you is the only way you'll forgive me, then that's exactly what I'll do. I need time to reflect on my mistakes, and time to forgive myself. I pray that someday, we do see each other again. And perhaps rebuild. Until then, you take care. Be safe. And have a good life, Breanna. I love you, little sister.
Beautiful
I am in the same place as you are, I made a lot of mistakes and that made me lose the person I loved the most. Saying sorry sometimes doesn't change things.
BROOOO 😭😭😭 I'M CRYING
when a person explodes at another person, it literally kills your future with that person; because it terrifies the recipient, and it portrays their future with them as including regular episodes of similar behavior they are going to receive.
@Mimii any updates?
Solid talk Mr Kalantar. I had a rough patch with the missus last year and believe it or not your talk was the turning point to get her back. All she needed was a genuine apology
Sina F wrong move - you should always deny, deny, deny.
@@bigzican4158 and then cry as you are dying alone. lol
I watched this video 20+ times while forming an apology. Ive been trying to apologize properly for months so Thank you Jahan Kalantar you helped me save a friendship that i ruined
i hope you’re doing well.
i still need to do this, i feel christmas time is the wrong time to do it, but i don't want to leave it too late.
@@fog- No time is too late! I took a chance, it worked out. I can’t guarantee that it will work out but at least they’ll know you’re sorry. It’s not about wether it fixes everything, it’s about them knowing you’re sorry. Wether they accept an apology is up to them.
@@keana172 I am! Much better than last year. Me and my friend worked through it and I’m so glad we did :)
I just did the same and i'm praying this will help
I have no regrets watching this video, with the help of this I even managed to help reconnect with one of the friends I had a terrible argument with. I honestly felt so much better after apologizing in the first place, but this helped me achieve the best possible outcome. I'm very thankful people like this exist to help people, whether it be in court or online haha.
It doesn't matter your you and am me and am not casting stones or judging just like I already knew and it doesn't even matter be blessed
Note to self: use this framework when apologizing! Great Talk Jahan!
That rocked. Thanks man. Apologizing is an important skill that most people lack.
Excellent! And one point, when people are nice they never hurt others or need to apologize. Some people are so careless they never even bother to apologize while all they do is hurt, hurt and hurt others. That's how my mother died, hurt to death and nobody ever cared.
It’s so true that a cogent apology shouldn’t contain fancy words and sound scripted. Honesty and sincerity are the aspects that will convince your audience. You have to add meaning to it by describing it and enriching it. Expressions like “it won’t recur” are reassuring to your listeners.
I was projecting my own Insecurity onto a close friend a year ago and well :^) I honestly hate myself for it, I was not a good person last year and I'm doing my best to change but I don't think they'll ever be able to trust me again
I believe in you❤️
Do your best and let go of results. You can't control whether or not your friend ever trusts you again. There are many variables with that, and many of them have nothing to do with you or anything you've ever done. Do your best to be your best self, one minute at a time. For me, that means I need to take care of myself and make sure I am in a good place mentally/physically/emotionally/spiritually at all times. I am less likely to hurt others when I am fully taken care of, and only I am responsible for taking care of myself. I try to stay aware of my feelings at all times. Feelings are normally indicators of something and they guide us on what we need to do. When I have a feeling, I pay attention to it, validate it, and try to figure out what I need to do. Maybe there is a need I need to fulfill. Maybe I need to go do something other than what I'm currently doing. Maybe I need to go for a walk, journal, pray, eat, drink some water, take a shower, relax, breathe, do something enjoyable, etc. If we fully take care of ourselves and love ourselves, we are much more likely to not treat others in harmful ways. You must forgive yourself for any wrong you've done in the past (whether or not the other party is capable of forgiving you yet) and look ahead. Shame does not make us a better person. Grace does.
i ghosted my friend who did this. she could fix things if she wanted, but hasn't made the effort. that's 100% her choice. if she waits too long, i may decide differently. life is better without her petty, envious little digs at me.
@@legalfictionnaturalfact3969 how do you make the effort
@@rodkneehitstp5449 i'd say that to make things right, one has to:
1) change herself, improve her character
2) apologize
3) offer to make it right, and even have a specific idea or two how you can do so if the victim wants to hear them.
anything less shows that the perp is not sorry and should just stay away.
This guy….100% class. Thank you
Solid Talk - amazing delivery - magnificent mustache - Job well done
How about that beard?
Lol he said magic WITH that mustache on. Lol
He is my uncle and i see that mustache every time i see him
I, too, enjoyed the mustache ;)
It’s not just “why, because and and.”
It’s got to be genuine - but I learned it goes like this.
1. I’m sorry. (Be real, and genuine)
2. I made a mistake … (admit it was you, own it)
(The last part is most critical)
3. How can I fix this.
Everyone forgets #3. Practice this method on children, or whomever and watch them learn the art of an apology.
You forget one of the most major ones which is acknowledge the individuals feelings you’ve hurt
My apologies, I did not intend to mislead YOU with my statement, at all! If I had to rewrite it, 7 months ago, I should have taken more care to be slower and diligent, I definitely would have addressed the 'person in #1 being genuine' (as I do irl). That was certainly my mistake. If you'll accept my apology, I would also say, I do like your name MoonWalker! I hope you have a marvellous day! @@moonwalker_818
This is a great speech from one of the rising stars of criminal lawyers. It would be a pity if Jahan's effort in contributing to the legal study is not recognised.
Super useful, I'll be sure to incorporate these techniques in my personal and professional relationships
I made a death threat. I feel very ashamed. I don’t know what to do. I felt painful remorse the night after. I don’t know what to do. If anyone knows/is willing to help me. I would feel better about myself.
I can't give you proper advice, but people over on reddit could (r/advice)
Forgive yourself. We all mess up
I wonder how you're doing now I kinda messed up like you and i really hate myself to the point of disgust for what I've done
understand that the person on the receiving end may be in constant fear now and maybe looking for ways to do to u what u threatened then with so my simple advice is to asap sincerely aopologize
The remorse is what prevents you from doing it again... View this as a blessing that helps you to stay a good person.
My advice to persons looking for a good way to apologize: hear the other person out. Ask them what is bothering them and what they were thinking and feeling in that moment. Try to understand and empathize. For example say: I see how my action to...(insert) .. caused you to feel... (insert). Even if you don't think you did something wrong, try to validate the persons feelings. To do this you need to have confidence in yourself to be open to criticism, without defending yourself. Also ask the person how they are, after the hurt. That's really important too. And if you feel that they are important to you, make sure you let them know! For example say that you really value their friendship and that you hope they can forgive you and you want tor rebuild the trust that was broken. Also ask how you can do that. Once you apologized, give the person time to receive the apology. This may take some time and should not be rushed. You can not make the person accept it, they have to do it on their own terms. Be patient if you really love or like that person and want to make amends.
I've been watching a lot of Ted Talks lately, and this is one of my favorites thus far. Love it!
Sometimes I wonder if I am genuine when I apologize because I DO mean it, and yet I go right back to the things I ask forgiveness for. Doesn't that mean I truly don't mean it or I purposely sabotage relationships because of it? Saying sorry isn't the hard part... But acting on it and staying true to being different, the next time around 😔
Learn good intentions, start acting them out, make it habit. You have to allow yourself time to grow into habits or else you’ll fall into the same hole time and time again
I feel you so much , you are not alone like this🙏🏻
I literally told my sister to wait for 7 minutes as I finish this TED talk before I apolofize, so I love you man, thank you for this amazing sharing because you made me know the proper way to authentically apologize to my sister and I hope I can continue to remember the lesson you give for this small 7 minutes in my life.
It really did work thank you
A great talk done by Jahan Kalantar!
I can vouch it has added value too me, where I can use these 3 steps in making an apology sounds so vulnerable and authentic that I mean every word.
Congrats once again 👏
I said something really insensitive to my mother in law who just got diagnosed with cancer. I feel so horrible and ashamed. I hope to forgive myself and be forgiven by her. I rarely feel this low.
Hey, how are you doing Kally? I hope you are feeling better. 🥺
Talk to her.
I think the fact that we are all hear shows how sorry we all really are. But will they ever know how seriously sorry we are?
If the man in the story spent 8 hours writing an apology letter, I feel good about spending that time writing an apology letter too. Thank you for sharing.
It’s so sad this video has under 100 thousand views. We could all use a bit more of enlightenment.
Did this age well?
@@madyfunke8414 OMG IM CRYING 😭 it most definitely did 🥲❤️
Thank you for sharing your formula with the world because I think of it often and it helps me when I want to be meaningful in my communication
I love human topics like this. Very inspiring!
This world is a strange one isn't it. Thank you for your advice my friend. I will take it with me for the rest of my days.
This was beautiful. Amazing job.
So simple, yet so effective and memorable!
I was already sad, but the second story made me cry
This is a great video.. I accidentally made meggo feel terrible and bad and I’ve never felt more guilty in my life. So hopefully this video will help me create a more authentic and genuine apology, thank you, meggo, I’m sorry
Inspirational talk: 'mia culpa' ... 'to err is human and to forgive is divine' ... that's what i have heard of ... YES ... Honest Apology and genuine (authentic) thanks does have the power to heal broken hearts and generational misunderstandings ... like 'Rudd Apology on 13/2/2008.....!!!
Thank you for that, Jahan! Love your method, I’ve been using it since I the first time I watched and it is being very helpful.
an excellent message, well delivered!
what a wonderful Talk.
Amazing talk! Such an important, yet overlooked, area of the human condition!
2nd video on apologies. No1 talks how sorry doesn't mean right or wrong. It's about caring about upsetting each other. And goodwill authenticly afterwards is best
Solid Talk.
Great Man. Jahan Kalantar
Sometimes people apologize not because they did something wrong. They apologize because they are good person and don't want to start a war based on religion back in home country over small things like tweets etc. They are visionary and look into the future and don't want unnecessary drama. " It's important to know where to loose."
Loved watching this live in Sydney, and has worked so well! Feel like I can get away with anything now that I know how to apologize 😜
This is so enlightening! Your commendable delivery made it all the more effective. Loved this throughout!
Fresh, nice, and clear presentation. Thanks!
It is a great talk, I now know how I can apologise it!
saying the apology is easy because I know what I did and why I did it. the hard part for me is if I will actually change my behaviour after that for real. I worry the apology will all be for nothing anyway because I don't trust myself enough if I can really go through with the change:(((
She once asked me, do you trust yourself, I didn’t realise that’s the reason she was asking me that question 😓
@@Tosa_Capital do you trust yourself now though?
Honestly I’ve been doing my best.. and I think I’ve been doing a pretty good job.. but thank you for that
love this guy sooo much, very useful talk!!
I've let down a friend.
Many times, actually. And I feel awful for it; she stuck with me through a lot of rough times. And now I've cost her a lot of months of stress because my anxiety makes me an awful communicator.
I'm working on myself, but in the meantime all I can do is say sorry before I make myself worthy my friend.
Stay confident of yourself that you'll get through it!
Before you can inform others that you stood up wrong before, you need to stand up properly right now.
Pleasure listening to you, it was a great speech Jahan 👍👍
I was taught in the 1960s apologizing was part of growing psychologically and emotionally. Apologizing sincerely isn't difficult for my generation (obviously, not everyone). The "Everybody makes mistakes." excuse has taken the place of accountability. Next, learn the difference between offering an explanation and making an excuse. Professional maturity involves both apologizing and eliminating excuses.
I keep screwing up friendships. I don't blame myslef but I still feel terrible about it. I have so much going on in my life. Balancing my life/emotions, school/future and social life/friends is hard. It isnt an excuse but a reason. I overthink things and I get scared and I can't think straight. I overreact and I regrett it. Why? Becuase I know what it feels like to be mistreated and I get scared that I will get mistreated agian. I am scared and confused and embarrassed and guilty. I wish I could make then understand but they shouldn't have to put up with my problems. I think I ruined a really good friendship. Or at least lost a good friend
Why: Sorry I'm breaking up with you
Because: I just felt that you are unbearable to be around
And: I dont want to see you ever again
LMAO
Sadly most relationships nowadays.
When I was in the military, I learned that it’s pointless to apologize. You’re forced to carry around your mistakes forever because they never forgive, or forget. I am a genuinely contrite person and feel remorse for all my mistakes. But I feel that apologizing will not make one difference to how people feel. So it’s useless to try. Even recently, I got in trouble with an authority figure and I didn’t apologize. Because it wouldn’t change how they felt. One bad deed invalidates one hundred good deeds.
Sorry about what you experienced. However I personally believe an apology is not always about being forgiven. Sometimes they may never forgive you. An apology should never be a means to end your guilt but to learn.
It is about conveying your sincerity. They my not forgive you but they definitely would appreciate it. An apology is not for you but for the other person. I believe it is your responsibility to carry the guilt and your mistake, it is the least one can do.
I didnt understand much from video will need to watch again but understood more from comments.
Great work Jahan - fantastic delivery
You need to do more public speaking. Really good presentation.
“I feel sorry for your mother” -Menace 2 Society
I keep coming back to this video. Its so good I can't forget the speaker's name.
I really love this Jahan you are a captivating speaker
I get inspired by you every day
I love it keep going!
I miss her so much
I hope my dad forgives me. I hated him all my life and now I just lashed out. I made a letter full of my anger, the things I think he did comepletely wrong, and consecutive curses. I felt good after sending it so I went to sleep, waiting for his reply in the morning. But the second I woke up, I regretted it. I thought about all the good things he did for me growing up. It's just so hard right now. I don't know what to do. He's giving me the cold shoulder so I told my mom about it. I think he's very angry at me, but I'm confused why he isn't yelling at me? Threatening to slam my head onto the wall? Why isn't he saying the usual words he says when he's mad? I'm confused, this hasn't happened before. My mom told me he was probably hurt with what I said. She told me my dad had emotions too. He's still wrong though but- ARGHHHHHH fml
I had the same issue just with a friend. I wrote a passive agressive letter saying how wrong they were and how i was right. But then i thought for a couple months and i realized that there was good lots of it. Give him some time and try again this time dont add buts or ands just say you are sorry.
As parents u have to do good things for your kid because you have bring them into this world but u have no right to hurt them. So probably u did the right thing!
Hey buddy jokes may have been a lil too abundant but this really started to break things up into simpler things for me
Great talk. Simple and helpful
It is a really useful speech! Good for improving my speeching skills, thank you for this.
An employee wrote me an apology letter for touching crew members too much. Casual touches, like on arms or shoulders. He was always very outgoing and tactile at work. Still, I'd taken him to my colleague’s office for a chat and told him he shouldn't touch anyone without consent. Just handshakes. I said we needed the workers to be comfortable in a good work environment, that he pretty much shouldn't talk about anything other than work and school. How he shouldn't tell his stories because they may be inappropriate to some degree to the other workers; funny to him only. I think he’s about 25, give or take. He seemed pretty quiet and uncomfortable during my speech. Answered a question or two with a nod and headshake. I even said to my present colleague "Is there anything you want to add?" I didn't realize how insensitive I was that day.
That day after work, I saw him and some woman from my apartment's balcony. On the road, a truck almost hit him, and he BARELY got out of the way in time. He could've been KlLLED. He looked horrified and distraught. His friend comforted him and led him away from the area, rubbing his back as they left. They didn't notice a letter that had fallen out of his hoodie pocket. I went down to bring it to him if he was still within sight, but he was gone by them. I noticed the letter was addressed to me. He wrote that he was so sorry for making his coworkers uncomfortable and that he never meant to. That he wouldn't have if he had known. That he wanted to make things right and redeem himself. He also explained that he had ASD and sometimes acted socially flawed, inappropriately jocular, and unfiltered. He said he felt so bad about that and that whenever he got the impression someone didn't like him, he would be quiet around them to avoid provoking them. He also wanted the person he discomforted to know he was sorry. Well, now _I'm_ sorry, because in certain ways, I didn't handle the work situation so well. Our last moment together would've been in the office had the truck ended him. I wasn't very respectful to the poor guy. So how do _I_ apologize?
"Good stuff"!..."i mean it"
Solid and professional talk!
I can’t apologize cuz my friend blocked me I annoy her as a friend of course everybody annoys somebody but I went a little to far and oh god I feel terrible it’s all I can think about
try to find another way to reach out. don't give uppppp
Same here. I was so annoying and asked her for like one thing, i didnt notice i was being annoying or rude.
Edit: i apologized and we are friends again 😺
Can someone help me out so me and my teacher are pretty close we are related and so I made a joke and that offended her and it was meant to be sarcastic but she took it another way and I apologised as soon as I reached home from her home and she kept me on read and saw the message and just informed me about tuitions timings and it's really awkward now idk what to do
@@aleb6245 hm, i think you should try apologizing in person if you havent, explain that it was suppost to be sarcastic
And apologize once more. When i apologized about a joke that offended my friend i said i was sorry about the joke she took personally and said i shouldnt have said that.
Sorry if this makes no sense
@@Perirona it does make sense and I apologised once more not in person and she said its okay
So thankyou💛
This is the best video I’ve watched!
So clearly displayed, you transmit confidence and certainty from experience and yes, it is not easy but it is something to be done. Thank you.
Im too scared for the apology because i dont wanna make them feel more hurt and dont want them to think that i want them to feel bad, but one friendship i lost, hopefully wont be lost forever. 😢
great talk and very inspiring!
Joe from friends! Love it!
I really need to say sorry to my mum
The action of apologizing isn’t difficult to me here’s an example, when I say I’m sorry I promise it won’t happen again, but scared it will and when it does I believe they won’t accept it next time.
I needed a break and now I’m doing good 👍🏼
👍😍💡WHY, BECAUSE, AND
Sharing this other ppl I know. WHY - it’s Fantastic BECAUSE it’s Simple AND straightforward. 👍💝
Loved listening to this great speech... keep it up..
I forgot to do an online test and now I need to apologize to the teacher, I'm rly scared rn from her ;-;
Wise words!
Dr. Mike should take this advice 😌😁
I hate apologizing to old ppl
I want to apologize to a girl, but I don't even know why she's mad at me, and she won't answer my texts
Can someone tell me if this is a good apology:, I am so sorry for saying those things that hurt you. I am sorry for being rude to you. I am sorry for how I acted. And I am sorry for taking this long to realize my mistake and apologizing for it. I understand that you may never want to be friends or even speak to me again but if you allow me to, I will make a commitment to being a good friend and support you through all your ups and downs. I will support all of your decisions. I will try my very best to never hurt you again.
Thank you
Yeah she and and I are fighting.
We just listened
WHY. BECAUSE. AND. 3 step apology
Thanks. Like this!
I hope this helps me
Thank you.
Brother you have no idea how thankful I am 🥺🥺🥺
That was very very very much helpful
It was perfect
Thank you 🥺
I accidentally deleted my besttt friend's THE importants cuz i didnot notice as hurry got me😣i was furious. That's all excuse though😖😖😖i should have noticed
Now the guilt is burning
Its gone!
He trusted me!
I'm remembering all the dark of my life
And its not great
And this video helped. Thank you so much 🥺
People will respect you if you more if you apologize.
1. Why
2. Because
3. And...
Great as always 👍😍
Inspirational and Super useful !