A wonderful talk, that highlights the greatest truth. I had a wonderful opportunity to discuss forgiveness with Peder, and I openly admit he has learned this powerful lesson far sooner in life than I did. Bravo my friend Bravo!
@Christos Amorim yes, that’s the key to truly asking for forgiveness. May be life-changing. And it is the opportunity we have to discover the most valuable gifts of all: Grace
To me this talk isn't just about forgiveness, but about how powerful and transformative it is when you acknowledge your patterns of bad behavior, to yourself and those around you.
"Forgiveness doesn't change the past, but it does change the future." Such a powerful talk, honest and vulnerable, and wise. Words like "grace, authentic, all in." Peder, thank you.
I think the worst lie we can tell ourselves is that it's only the big moments that matter, that it's okay to do the wrong thing when it's just something small. But it all adds up, and essentially we're training ourselves to do the wrong thing with all those little moments.
Totally! We should practice in small the actions we would like to characterize us when the heat is on. No one are masters of forgiveness by nature. It takes practice. And it is a gamechanger in relationships
You should always be willing to take responsibility for your mistakes, even when the relationship _isn't_ on the line. No one's perfect and if people want to drag out your suffering after you've sought to make amends then they aren't really the kind of people you want in your life anyway.
Asking to be forgiven by someone you've hurt or disappointed is crucial for a healthy relationship to continue but the essential ingredient is sincerity... Without that it's just words. And people can tell.
That's a really good point. People can definitely tell and honestly if you don't mean it, or if you don't understand why you've hurt that person you just shouldn't even bother with an apology
A friend of mine who works with a program in our country that helps men tackle their non-physical v!iolent outbursts and he always tells me "they think saying they're sorry solves everything when in reality, it can takes years of consistent work and proof of change of behaviour before they'll receive the support they crave from their loved ones" - which truly is so sad for both them and their loved ones and quite often results in regressing back to frustrated outbursts. Very good advice here Peder.
The idea of practicing forgiveness, even for the small moments, is profound. It's a way to continually strengthen our capacity for good and build stronger relationships.
Practicing morality involves actively engaging in acts of kindness, generosity, and compassion, fostering a sense of community and interconnectedness with others.
It requires individuals to resist the temptation to engage in gossip, slander, or harmful speech, and instead promote understanding and constructive dialogue.
It's fascinating how Peter highlights the loss of moral language. Reclaiming it is not just about words but about rediscovering the depth and nuance of our moral experiences.
It takes immense courage to face those we've hurt, take responsibility, and ask for forgiveness. It's a humbling journey that can lead to healing and growth.
It's a good act as long as the ones forgiven feel remorse, acknowledge their mistakes and try not to do the same. Because when you donr put what you say into practice, it has no meaning for anyone, even to yourself. You be just fooling yourself. Love for those who forgive and who deserves to be forgiven
So tough at the 6:07 mark going from wanting to share your life to wanting to hide it. Especially from a parent when so often all we want is their approval and pride.
"Doing the right thing takes practice." THIS! I think we easily forgot that people who consistently do the right thing have WORKED FOR IT like a skill that gets honed.
I appreciate Peder's message that forgiveness doesn't change the past but it does change the future. It's a beautiful reminder of the transformative power of forgiveness.
Forgiveness shouldn't be reserved for the big moments. It's the small moments, like admitting a lie or apologizing for a mistake, that truly shape who we become
I think an important part of this is to realize that the relationship is on the line in the first place. If you've carried yourself in a way where you don't recognize the need to apologize you're probably also unaware of how the other person is feeling in general - and that they might be at the end of their tether to you
I think Peder really nails it in terms of explaining the importance of consistency when practicing morality. Like he says it's not about the grand gestures but the daily choices we make, hence the saying "Character is what you do when no one is watching."
The quote serves as a powerful reminder that true character is not defined by external appearances or the opinions of others, but by the choices we make when we think no one is watching.
The quote encourages individuals to strive for consistency between their public and private behavior, aligning their actions with their professed values.
Peder's story is a testament to the power of redemption and second chances. It's a reminder that no matter how lost we may feel, we can always find our way back.
I get what you mean, when someone gives you a second chance it makes you so appreciative it's unlikely you'll ever take the relationship for granted again
I think it's very easy for us to forget the part about having to practice at doing the right thing. Not because of our 'capacity for bad' but because sometimes thinking beyond ourselves can be a bit tricky, especially when we're out of practice.
His dad sounds like such a great role model. Offering jobs and opening their home to those in need is a testament to the impact we can have when we actively practice kindness and generosity.
Peder's story is proof positive that we can stop deluding ourselves, admit responsibility for past wrongs and seek forgiveness from those we've harmed.
I love it! We are so blind to only reward the big things but the small will leads us for greatness, do not believe what we see in social media about what greatness is, greatness is simple as asking for forgiveness ! Thank you for this!
No, they shouldnt be given forgiveness, unless they deserve it by admitting their mistakes, apologizing and changing themselged. Im someone who hasnt yet deserve to be given forgiveness. I broke my loved one's heart multiple times which shouldnt be happened, but after every mistake I improved myself. When I had our first debate was nearly 1 year ago, after we settled down the problem, we had a peaceful one year. She was everything to me, but ironically, you get examined by what you love the most. I used to be an oversharer person, but no more. I used to panic in stressful situations, but now more relax. I used to not know when to stop talking and where to start talking, but know I do. I have really changed myself. I know no thing will be the same. Trust is like a rope. Once it's torn, it cannot be the same as it was, but thanks to the strong knots where you you put correctly, the rope becomes stronger, or the rope becomes less stronger, if not done correctly. As I said, i dont yet deserve to be forgiven. I wish I could show her how much I've changed.
Self-pity and blaming others won't lead to change. Taking responsibility for our actions is scary but necessary and actions always speak louder than words. It's not enough to talk about being better just as it's not enough to merely "say" sorry. We need to regularly practice gratitude for our loved ones and doing the right thing by them to show them that they matter and are appreciated.
I think the changing language of morality can be seen as a reflection of our progress as a society. It doesn't necessarily mean a decline in moral values but rather a shift in how we express and engage with them. It's an opportunity to redefine and update our understanding of ethics in a contemporary context.
What he's talking about it so underrated, when you come to a loved one acknowledging something you've done wrong and give them the opportunity to address it together your relationship levels up so drastically.
I always tell people that by being open and honest we are actually giving less fuel to those voices that tell us we are not good enough. Because if we are consistently aware of our shortcomings, they feel like less of a problem,
My high school English teacher said to me "the road to heII is paved with good intentions". We all mean to do the right thing but it's far too easy to just turn the other way when we miss the mark, that's why taking ownership in this way counts for so much.
Peder is like living proof of how our actions speak louder than words. It's not enough to say we want to change; we have to practice it daily, just as he did.
"We are not judged by our intentions, we are judged by our actions." This is so true Peder and we also have no control over how people choose to perceive our actions either.
Peder's journey from 'Party Peder' to a more responsible and self-aware person is truly inspiring. It shows that change is possible for anyone, no matter how far they've strayed from their values.
The importance of focusing less on what we say and more on what we do cannot be overstated. Taking action, practicing forgiveness, and using the 'language of morality' opens the door to profound human experiences and connections.
It's incredible how Peder recognized his all-in nature, both its positive and negative sides. It's a testament to his growth that he decided to channel that intensity towards developing his capacity for good.
I love the idea of not just throwing out the problematic aspects of your personality and instead finding a way to turn them towards something more constructive
The need for a shared language of morality is crucial in our society. Without it, we struggle to express our inner struggles and seek understanding from others.
Peder's mention of grace is profound. When someone grants forgiveness even when we don't deserve it, it's a beautiful and transformative experience. Let's remember the power of grace in our relationships and extend it to others when possible.
Opening up our homes and offering jobs to those in need, like the narrator's dad, exemplifies true compassion and doing the right thing. It's inspiring to hear such stories of selflessness.
Inspiring yes but it also made me a little sad, I don't know that many people have the means to offer things like that to those in need anymore. Maybe where Peders from, I'm not sure.
I have always struggled with anger , resentments, and unforgiveness. I have been working on it with a therapist and 12 step sponsor, and it is getting better. I was told that resentments only hurt you, not the wrongdoers. I had to write down my resentments and how they affected me to see the damage to motivate me to let go. I also had to write down my part in the resentments so I could see where i was in the wrong, make amends, change behaviors, build my character and reconcile relationships if appropriate. Obviously there are some situations you don't play a part like if you were abused. I really get into psychology and human behavior so I like to understand why people act how they do for example mental illness. It helps to have compassion on them and to wish them well. This is NOT justifying or condoning it just helps to understand, have compassion, and wish them well. Its also not good to get revenge, not only because of consequence but they will get their karma and there will be justice. If it motivates them to change and make amends be happy for them.
"Actions speak louder than words" is a powerful reminder from Peder. Merely talking about doing the right thing is not enough; we must practice it consistently. It's the small daily moments that shape our character and prepare us for the big moments.
It's fantastic that Peder has emotionally intelligent people in his life that are receptive and appreciative of this way of being, instead of not understanding how to be empathetic and compassionate
I really enjoyed hearing about his journey from 'Party Peder' to a more responsible and self-aware version of himself. It really speaks to the possibilities of change, no matter how far you've strayed from your values.
Yes absolutely and it's incredibly frustrating when people expect forgiveness without having ever taken responsibility for what they've done - or worse, making an excuses for their shhtty behaviour that you just can't argue with otherwise YOU come across as being unreasonable.
My favourite teacher once said to me, "the road to heII is paved with good intentions". We might want to do the right thing but sometimes things don't work out like that
Seems like the relationship he had with his Dad really made all the difference in terms of getting his life back on track. Makes me think of all the men out there who grew up without fathers and it's no wonder they get so wayward
The call to reclaim the language of morality is crucial. Without it, our ability to communicate the impact of our inner struggles will never be accurate enough.
The evolving language of morality doesn't necessarily indicate a decline in moral consciousness but rather an evolution in how we communicate our values. Language is a dynamic tool, and we have the power to shape and adapt it to express our moral convictions in meaningful ways.
This, absolutely this. I don't think enough people understand that language is fluid, it changes and grows at the same pace that society does, and we've come a long way in a short time, it makes sense that our language does the same.
The part where Peder talks about dulling the pain with classic strategies hit me hard. It's a raw and honest account of how we sometimes cope with our struggles, and how, when they're unhealthy like this and just a distraction from the pain, it ends up consuming us and ultimately adding to our struggles. Breaking free from these habits is a journey worth taking
Yeah! Asking for forgiveness is acknowledging guilt. And we should face the people we have hurt (except when a physical meeting would only make things worse for the other)
I think the conversation Peder had with his boss shows the importance of open communication and seeking forgiveness in the workplace. It's never easy to admit our mistakes, but it paves the way for growth and finding a way to move forward.
This talk is a reminder that even in our darkest moments, there's a path towards self-discovery and redemption and there's something amazing about people who have hit rock bottom and then dragged themselves back out
Peder, thank you for reminding us that forgiveness is not only for big moments but also for small ones is a valuable insight. It's in these times that we are really able to align ourselves.
Yes! Reading «Atomic Habits» now, and we are shaped by what we do in small. We should aim to make those small choices align with our greater, long-term goals
A wonderful talk, that highlights the greatest truth. I had a wonderful opportunity to discuss forgiveness with Peder, and I openly admit he has learned this powerful lesson far sooner in life than I did. Bravo my friend Bravo!
Thank you so much! Made my day 😀
@Martelle Benck Thank you! I appreciate that. If the talk may provide any help, nothing makes me happier ❤
@Cody Velardo I agree. We should focus more on the building blocks of any deep, long-lasting relationship
Forgiveness is always the way, well that is what I think at least
its comments like these that make me happy
The 'Party Peter' story was a real wake-up call for me, it made me think about how I act in my life.
I was touched by the message of the importance of owning up to our actions and seeking forgiveness. His words will stay with me for a long time.
@Jody Kupferer such a generous feedback! Thank you ❤
@Christos Amorim yes, that’s the key to truly asking for forgiveness. May be life-changing. And it is the opportunity we have to discover the most valuable gifts of all: Grace
It was for me too!
Me too, loved that bit
To me this talk isn't just about forgiveness, but about how powerful and transformative it is when you acknowledge your patterns of bad behavior, to yourself and those around you.
"Forgiveness doesn't change the past, but it does change the future." Such a powerful talk, honest and vulnerable, and wise. Words like "grace, authentic, all in." Peder, thank you.
Thank you so much for those kind words! ❤
a beautiful quote
What about those words?
Yeah lol I'm curious to know what she means too @@pierrevilleneu
@@pierrevilleneu 🤭
I think the worst lie we can tell ourselves is that it's only the big moments that matter, that it's okay to do the wrong thing when it's just something small. But it all adds up, and essentially we're training ourselves to do the wrong thing with all those little moments.
Totally! We should practice in small the actions we would like to characterize us when the heat is on. No one are masters of forgiveness by nature. It takes practice. And it is a gamechanger in relationships
Wow, yeah, I've never thought of it like that but that's a really good point. All of it matters.
I agree. A very dangerous lie.
You should always be willing to take responsibility for your mistakes, even when the relationship _isn't_ on the line. No one's perfect and if people want to drag out your suffering after you've sought to make amends then they aren't really the kind of people you want in your life anyway.
Sep, thats right on, captured my thoughts too!
If only more people would own what they say, the world would be a better place.
so well-said!
This talk is a reminder of the power each of us hold to make the world a better place.
I don't know if it would be a better place but it would definitely be a more authentic place lol@@yuvallove
Peder's dad's response to his request for forgiveness is heartwarming. It shows the power of forgiveness in healing relationships and restoring trust
Absolutely, my emotions definitely welled up at that point haha
Such an amazing moment, even more so when you realize his father was waiting for that moment
Asking to be forgiven by someone you've hurt or disappointed is crucial for a healthy relationship to continue but the essential ingredient is sincerity... Without that it's just words. And people can tell.
sometimes even with that, it's just words. nobody is guaranteed to actually forgive you
Yes I have heard a lot of inauthentic sorry's
That's a really good point. People can definitely tell and honestly if you don't mean it, or if you don't understand why you've hurt that person you just shouldn't even bother with an apology
The practice of forgiveness in small moments is a valuable lesson. It's these daily actions that shape our character and relationships.
Word!!
A friend of mine who works with a program in our country that helps men tackle their non-physical v!iolent outbursts and he always tells me "they think saying they're sorry solves everything when in reality, it can takes years of consistent work and proof of change of behaviour before they'll receive the support they crave from their loved ones" - which truly is so sad for both them and their loved ones and quite often results in regressing back to frustrated outbursts. Very good advice here Peder.
cool program!
sometimes family is created when we get comfort from others.
The idea of practicing forgiveness, even for the small moments, is profound. It's a way to continually strengthen our capacity for good and build stronger relationships.
Practicing morality involves actively engaging in acts of kindness, generosity, and compassion, fostering a sense of community and interconnectedness with others.
It requires individuals to be respectful and considerate in their interactions with others, valuing their autonomy and treating them with dignity.
Practicing morality involves being honest with oneself, acknowledging one's own flaws and shortcomings, and striving for self-improvement.
It requires individuals to be aware of their own biases and prejudices, and to actively seek out diverse perspectives and experiences.
It requires individuals to resist the temptation to engage in gossip, slander, or harmful speech, and instead promote understanding and constructive dialogue.
It's fascinating how Peter highlights the loss of moral language. Reclaiming it is not just about words but about rediscovering the depth and nuance of our moral experiences.
It takes immense courage to face those we've hurt, take responsibility, and ask for forgiveness. It's a humbling journey that can lead to healing and growth.
Totally, it’s transformational! Thanks for commenting
Absolutely. Though I don't know how we've trained ourselves to hide from our mistakes and those we've hurt instead of just owning up to it
It's a good act as long as the ones forgiven feel remorse, acknowledge their mistakes and try not to do the same. Because when you donr put what you say into practice, it has no meaning for anyone, even to yourself. You be just fooling yourself.
Love for those who forgive and who deserves to be forgiven
@@aia5524 I agree. Forgiveness without action is just words on the wind
Looking his boss in the eyes and admitting his misdemeanours took courage - well done to you, Peder. Your boss is clearly empathetic and values you.
Yeah absolutely, could have easily gone a different way
So tough at the 6:07 mark going from wanting to share your life to wanting to hide it. Especially from a parent when so often all we want is their approval and pride.
that sounds like me.
"Doing the right thing takes practice." THIS! I think we easily forgot that people who consistently do the right thing have WORKED FOR IT like a skill that gets honed.
Totally! Unfortunately, this timeless wisdom is not too present in today’s mainstream culture
The way he talks about his dad is so beautiful. You can tell there's a lot of respect and admiration there.
Yeah not exactly typical for people these days.
@@LifeLolling I don't know if that's true. Most of the people I know respect their fathers, more so than their mothers anyway.
We now have a closer relationship than ever before. All because of grace :)
@@LifeLolling That's a really awful generalization
@@konglum That's also a pretty awfuI thing to say
I think we can all identify with Pete [2:56] and his strategy of drinking and partying to avoid "owning" his behaviour.
Lol going through this comments and I feel like not everyone can! Must be nice.
The stuff about his father at the end is so beautiful.
Yeah, that was a game-changer. The two paintings are my most beloved personal belongings.
I like the idea of going "all-in" on forgiveness. Better than doing it with something destructive.
I appreciate Peder's message that forgiveness doesn't change the past but it does change the future. It's a beautiful reminder of the transformative power of forgiveness.
You can forgive, but the main thing is to never forget, that is my moto
mine too.
It's really never too late to change and seek forgiveness. His story is a testament to the human capacity for growth and redemption.
Forgiveness shouldn't be reserved for the big moments. It's the small moments, like admitting a lie or apologizing for a mistake, that truly shape who we become
Definitely, especially if it's something we could easily get away with and never be discovered. That's when it's truly important.
There's something so pure and beautiful about the way he talks about his relationship with his father.
It is really beautiful isn't it?
I think an important part of this is to realize that the relationship is on the line in the first place. If you've carried yourself in a way where you don't recognize the need to apologize you're probably also unaware of how the other person is feeling in general - and that they might be at the end of their tether to you
if it comes to something like that I think the best thing to do is part
lately it has been a lot tougher to get into a normal relationship
I think 90% of apologizing happes just because there is something to be lost
We all need to work toward being better people, when you want someone's forgiveness,
You’re the only true person I’ve found that I feel I can connect to.. I admire you so much! ❤
I think Peder really nails it in terms of explaining the importance of consistency when practicing morality. Like he says it's not about the grand gestures but the daily choices we make, hence the saying "Character is what you do when no one is watching."
The quote serves as a powerful reminder that true character is not defined by external appearances or the opinions of others, but by the choices we make when we think no one is watching.
It implies that acts of kindness, honesty, and compassion performed when no one is watching are a testament to the depth of our character.
The quote encourages individuals to strive for consistency between their public and private behavior, aligning their actions with their professed values.
It suggests that the choices we make when no one is watching reflect our true nature and the depth of our commitment to ethical behavior.
The quote reminds us that integrity and authenticity are fundamental components of character, as they are revealed in our private moments.
Peder's story is a testament to the power of redemption and second chances. It's a reminder that no matter how lost we may feel, we can always find our way back.
I get what you mean, when someone gives you a second chance it makes you so appreciative it's unlikely you'll ever take the relationship for granted again
As someone with a very addictive personality, I find it difficult to _not_ go "all-in" on something, so this talk really, really resonates with me.
Thank you! So glad to hear that :) Then there's two of us..
Maybe you can go all-in on forgiveness? 🤣🤣
I think it's very easy for us to forget the part about having to practice at doing the right thing. Not because of our 'capacity for bad' but because sometimes thinking beyond ourselves can be a bit tricky, especially when we're out of practice.
Never be out of practice, just keep practicing
we cannot ever forget what we have the ability to make better.
This is a good point, makes sense of why some people feel so awkward and uncomfortable about apologising.
His dad sounds like such a great role model. Offering jobs and opening their home to those in need is a testament to the impact we can have when we actively practice kindness and generosity.
I think looking at forgiveness and understanding through grace is a really beautiful approach.
Yes, I agree, that was something I got from this talk as well.
The notion of "own your scrubs, ask for forgiveness, go all in" captures the essence of Peder's journey.
Yeah it's a good synapsis
Agree with you Peder. Taking responsibility for my actions and asking for forgiveness with sincerity is essential for me when I've screwed up.
agree with that Scott
Ooooh I love the backdrop that's happening here!
Peder's story is proof positive that we can stop deluding ourselves, admit responsibility for past wrongs and seek forgiveness from those we've harmed.
I love it! We are so blind to only reward the big things but the small will leads us for greatness, do not believe what we see in social media about what greatness is, greatness is simple as asking for forgiveness ! Thank you for this!
Thank you! 🎉 So cool you liked it!
The firefighter example was a really good one
A beautiful, moving tribute to the power of asking for forgiveness and how it bonds us together, especially when it counts.
Thank you so much!
I saw your TEDx as well, very good.
Granting forgiveness to someone who doesn't deserve it is a profound act of generosity.
Yes, it's an act of Grace.
No, they shouldnt be given forgiveness, unless they deserve it by admitting their mistakes, apologizing and changing themselged. Im someone who hasnt yet deserve to be given forgiveness. I broke my loved one's heart multiple times which shouldnt be happened, but after every mistake I improved myself. When I had our first debate was nearly 1 year ago, after we settled down the problem, we had a peaceful one year. She was everything to me, but ironically, you get examined by what you love the most. I used to be an oversharer person, but no more. I used to panic in stressful situations, but now more relax. I used to not know when to stop talking and where to start talking, but know I do. I have really changed myself. I know no thing will be the same. Trust is like a rope. Once it's torn, it cannot be the same as it was, but thanks to the strong knots where you you put correctly, the rope becomes stronger, or the rope becomes less stronger, if not done correctly. As I said, i dont yet deserve to be forgiven. I wish I could show her how much I've changed.
Self-pity and blaming others won't lead to change. Taking responsibility for our actions is scary but necessary and actions always speak louder than words. It's not enough to talk about being better just as it's not enough to merely "say" sorry. We need to regularly practice gratitude for our loved ones and doing the right thing by them to show them that they matter and are appreciated.
I don't think he is blaming others?
Conversations, especially difficult ones with your boss, co-workers, spouse and family can be cathartic and benefit everyone.
Yes, it’s hard. But, like you say, potentially cathartic. Most important stuff in life comes with a price
I think the changing language of morality can be seen as a reflection of our progress as a society. It doesn't necessarily mean a decline in moral values but rather a shift in how we express and engage with them. It's an opportunity to redefine and update our understanding of ethics in a contemporary context.
What he's talking about it so underrated, when you come to a loved one acknowledging something you've done wrong and give them the opportunity to address it together your relationship levels up so drastically.
It really is, more focus on forgiveness would solve a lot of issues.
I always tell people that by being open and honest we are actually giving less fuel to those voices that tell us we are not good enough. Because if we are consistently aware of our shortcomings, they feel like less of a problem,
Love is the answer, if only we could teach the leaders
Thanks for sending this to me!
always has been always will be😁😍
The way his dad went beyond belief and took real action is truly admirable. A great reminder that actions speak louder than words.
I can totally relate to him hiding his sugar fix from his wife, only to feel guilty and tell her any way. Honesty is ALWAYS the best policy.
"we are what we do, not what we say." 💯💯💯💯💯
Can definitely relate to that "all-in" personality type he talks about having... it's hard not to fixate
My high school English teacher said to me "the road to heII is paved with good intentions". We all mean to do the right thing but it's far too easy to just turn the other way when we miss the mark, that's why taking ownership in this way counts for so much.
Totally! I like to think of character building as exercising 😊
Peder is like living proof of how our actions speak louder than words. It's not enough to say we want to change; we have to practice it daily, just as he did.
The story of Peder's final visit to his dad was truly heartwarming.
Wow what a life you've led Peder! Thank you for sharing it with us and showing just how important all of this stuff is.
well said
Peder's willingness to change and the way he just owned up to everyone in his life is a real inspiration.
Thank you! My "forgiveness Roadtrip" is by far the most essential and valuable trip I've ever embarked on
Yes but I think it's important to remember that he hit a rock bottom before that willingness happened
I think staying humble and respectful in relationships is the key to understanding. Then if you do need forgiveness it's easy to grant.
the idea of asking for forgiveness is still pretty scary for me, but this definitely helps me rethink how I should deal with my regrets.
I’m glad to hear that! Asking for forgiveness is surely a way to strenghten our potential for good
"We are not judged by our intentions, we are judged by our actions." This is so true Peder and we also have no control over how people choose to perceive our actions either.
That's a really good point but also weird to think that people would ascribe negative intentions to our actions
@@leotencall People do it all the time!
Great talk Peder. Thank you for sharing! I like the all in with chocolate. No guilt required.
Thank you! 😊
Peder's journey from 'Party Peder' to a more responsible and self-aware person is truly inspiring. It shows that change is possible for anyone, no matter how far they've strayed from their values.
A pure and simple message, thank you Peder.
thanks for sending me this
thanks Robert, got the link
What strikes me is his unwavering commitment to change. It's not a sudden transformation but a consistent effort to reclaim his true self.
Absolutely, small but constant steps to self-improvement.
Seems a lot more manageable than trying to make one huge change
The importance of focusing less on what we say and more on what we do cannot be overstated. Taking action, practicing forgiveness, and using the 'language of morality' opens the door to profound human experiences and connections.
Love is and always will be the answer, bless this man!!!!!
No. Sorry. This is not the case.
It's incredible how Peder recognized his all-in nature, both its positive and negative sides. It's a testament to his growth that he decided to channel that intensity towards developing his capacity for good.
I love the idea of not just throwing out the problematic aspects of your personality and instead finding a way to turn them towards something more constructive
@@bettygould3679 This is a really nice sentiment. I don't know how possible it is for everyone though... some aspects are more damaging than others.
It's amazing to me how different people view things like this differently. Just ask. Put aside the ego. Value the relationship first.
"forgiveness doesn't change the past, but it changes the future" Thanks Peder for that take home message.
yes an apology certainly goes a long way to help with the healing process
I love that quote. great stuff
The need for a shared language of morality is crucial in our society. Without it, we struggle to express our inner struggles and seek understanding from others.
OMG, party Peter sounds wild! Glad he finally realized the importance of taking responsibility.
Peder's mention of grace is profound. When someone grants forgiveness even when we don't deserve it, it's a beautiful and transformative experience. Let's remember the power of grace in our relationships and extend it to others when possible.
Isn't that literally one of the definitions of grace? A gift given that isn't deserved?
@@franhustard I don't know if that's a definition of the word but to do so would be an act of grace, in my opinion, anyway.
It's refreshing to hear someone speak openly about their past mistakes and share their journey towards forgiveness and redemption.
yes, agreed!
Opening up our homes and offering jobs to those in need, like the narrator's dad, exemplifies true compassion and doing the right thing. It's inspiring to hear such stories of selflessness.
Inspiring yes but it also made me a little sad, I don't know that many people have the means to offer things like that to those in need anymore. Maybe where Peders from, I'm not sure.
I have always struggled with anger , resentments, and unforgiveness. I have been working on it with a therapist and 12 step sponsor, and it is getting better. I was told that resentments only hurt you, not the wrongdoers. I had to write down my resentments and how they affected me to see the damage to motivate me to let go. I also had to write down my part in the resentments so I could see where i was in the wrong, make amends, change behaviors, build my character and reconcile relationships if appropriate. Obviously there are some situations you don't play a part like if you were abused. I really get into psychology and human behavior so I like to understand why people act how they do for example mental illness. It helps to have compassion on them and to wish them well. This is NOT justifying or condoning it just helps to understand, have compassion, and wish them well. Its also not good to get revenge, not only because of consequence but they will get their karma and there will be justice. If it motivates them to change and make amends be happy for them.
"Actions speak louder than words" is a powerful reminder from Peder. Merely talking about doing the right thing is not enough; we must practice it consistently. It's the small daily moments that shape our character and prepare us for the big moments.
Just loved the story of the two custom paintings Peder's father had commissioned for him [12:06} got a bit teary.
His struggles and his journey to seek forgiveness is incredibly brave. It takes courage to confront our own shortcomings.
Absolutely, you have to be brave enough to accept that it's time to hold yourself to a higher standard
Yes, courage and a real desire to change
It's fantastic that Peder has emotionally intelligent people in his life that are receptive and appreciative of this way of being, instead of not understanding how to be empathetic and compassionate
I really enjoyed hearing about his journey from 'Party Peder' to a more responsible and self-aware version of himself. It really speaks to the possibilities of change, no matter how far you've strayed from your values.
That is a great way to think of it
That is a really nice message to take away from it
Yes absolutely and it's incredibly frustrating when people expect forgiveness without having ever taken responsibility for what they've done - or worse, making an excuses for their shhtty behaviour that you just can't argue with otherwise YOU come across as being unreasonable.
so true, agree 100%
Word!
finally watched, thanks for the link..
forgive yourself first
@@fionatruscott great point
"Forgiveness doesn't change the past but it does change the future." This is spot on.
Absolutely, there are so many quotable lines in this talk
My favourite teacher once said to me, "the road to heII is paved with good intentions". We might want to do the right thing but sometimes things don't work out like that
Yeesh. That's a strong dose of reality for a school day
Grace is a beautiful thing. When someone forgives you even when you don't deserve it, it can change your future.
I think it can even change how you feel about yourself.
Seems like the relationship he had with his Dad really made all the difference in terms of getting his life back on track. Makes me think of all the men out there who grew up without fathers and it's no wonder they get so wayward
seeking forgiveness is something that is hard to do for many people, and many would rather avoid it
"I'm sorry" can be the first step towards healing a relationship.💬
The vulnerability in his admission of self-despise is so powerful and I admire him for it very much.
We all have the power to take responsibility for the lasting changes we want to make in our lives 💜
The call to reclaim the language of morality is crucial. Without it, our ability to communicate the impact of our inner struggles will never be accurate enough.
I disagree. There are lots of words out there, doesn't have to have a biblical reference to have strong connotations
"The more authentically I can recognize that I am the person I am, the less I remain the person I was." 😯
The evolving language of morality doesn't necessarily indicate a decline in moral consciousness but rather an evolution in how we communicate our values. Language is a dynamic tool, and we have the power to shape and adapt it to express our moral convictions in meaningful ways.
This, absolutely this. I don't think enough people understand that language is fluid, it changes and grows at the same pace that society does, and we've come a long way in a short time, it makes sense that our language does the same.
The part where Peder talks about dulling the pain with classic strategies hit me hard. It's a raw and honest account of how we sometimes cope with our struggles, and how, when they're unhealthy like this and just a distraction from the pain, it ends up consuming us and ultimately adding to our struggles. Breaking free from these habits is a journey worth taking
Going on a forgiveness "road trip" sounds like the perfect strategy for taking responsibility for your actions.
Yeah! Asking for forgiveness is acknowledging guilt. And we should face the people we have hurt (except when a physical meeting would only make things worse for the other)
definitely going to keep the video's message in mind, understanding and articulating our inner struggles is so important.
watched, thanks for sending.
Thank you! Yes, acknowledging the inner struggle is vital!
I think the conversation Peder had with his boss shows the importance of open communication and seeking forgiveness in the workplace. It's never easy to admit our mistakes, but it paves the way for growth and finding a way to move forward.
Forgiveness is a powerful act of grace. It may not always be deserved, but it has the potential to transform lives.
This is a huge statement and I love that you've used some of that 'language of morality' Peder mentioned.
Actions speak louder than words. Merely talking about doing the right thing isn't enough; we must practice it consistently.
An oldie but a goodie.
@@janetpannel It's a saying that's lasted this long for a reason
"I was all in and I needed a way out." I can very much relate to this feeling Peder, congratulations on getting out.
is it that hard if you want to do it though?
This talk is a reminder that even in our darkest moments, there's a path towards self-discovery and redemption and there's something amazing about people who have hit rock bottom and then dragged themselves back out
Forgiveness doesn't change the past, but it has the power to transform our future and our relationships
or at least ensure that every one is going at it with respect.
Peder, thank you for reminding us that forgiveness is not only for big moments but also for small ones is a valuable insight. It's in these times that we are really able to align ourselves.
Yes! Reading «Atomic Habits» now, and we are shaped by what we do in small. We should aim to make those small choices align with our greater, long-term goals
Absolutely, we should never be afraid to ask for forgiveness
Though hopefully we don't have to do it too much