Christopher Columbus vs Captain Kirk. Epic Rap Battles of History

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  • Опубліковано 2 гру 2024

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  • @splurgabonnnephlhogg3000
    @splurgabonnnephlhogg3000 5 років тому +8126

    I love this one because Columbus puts sooo much energy into it. Like he has a personal vendetta against Kirk or something

    • @thorskjelver8564
      @thorskjelver8564 5 років тому +365

      Splurgabonn Nephlhogg Italians are a passionate people

    • @benwasserman8223
      @benwasserman8223 4 роки тому +209

      Like a... wrath, you might say?

    • @girlgarde
      @girlgarde 4 роки тому +208

      Italians are passionate plus I guess Columbus was sick of people harshly criticizing everything he did and blaming him for all the misfortune that happened to the native peoples of the New World after he died. Sure, he was far from saintly and was an arrogant jerk who was a crappy colonial governor but his actions DID lead to a new era in Human history.
      Besides, lots of people in Columbus's time both whites and non-whites had beliefs that we'd regard as hateful and disgusting, he was simply a product of his time period and better suited to being an explorer then a governor.

    • @ruairiodonohoe2533
      @ruairiodonohoe2533 4 роки тому +88

      @@girlgarde a "bad governer" you say . When he arrived there were 200,000 people on an island , after he left for good there were 200. He enslaved natives as miners and cut of their arm if they did not make a thimble full of gold each, he sold young girls and the women as sex slaves for profit and when some natives protested he massacred a village , pitching babies against stone walls killiing pregnant women , and having competitions on who could skewer men in a single thrust.
      Genocidal maniac. Period

    • @girlgarde
      @girlgarde 4 роки тому +67

      @@ruairiodonohoe2533 Yes, he was a crappy and a very harsh governor as you and history have pointed out. I was never trying to waive away his crimes, I was only saying that his accidental discovery of the Americas changed the course of Human history forever for better or for worse.
      Sadly, the natives he butchered in his quest for gold and who died of diseases brought by him and his crews ended up getting killed in the collision of cultures which is tragic.

  • @lowkeybruja
    @lowkeybruja 2 роки тому +3032

    even 10yrs later “YOU. SPAGHETTI. EATING. FUCK” still has me rolling. everytime.

  • @OctacleEdits
    @OctacleEdits 5 років тому +4527

    One of the most underrated battles.
    Got a lot going for it.
    Sick disses.
    Lloyd rapping the way William Shatner portrayed Kirk on the original series.
    And the word “Klingon” is written in Klingon language in the subtitles

    • @haraldhey9210
      @haraldhey9210 5 років тому +41

      But kirk's flow was so terrible that many people probably don't want to hear it.

    • @timbecile7006
      @timbecile7006 5 років тому +43

      @@haraldhey9210 you fool it's like he was on star trek.

    • @rtasvadumee5352
      @rtasvadumee5352 5 років тому +71

      @@haraldhey9210 After a few watches it's actually pretty catchy and good

    • @ramboi9142
      @ramboi9142 5 років тому +15

      Also the beat is pretty fire

    • @extentnearby6139
      @extentnearby6139 4 роки тому +3

      I hate this batlle I'm maybe the only one who doesn't like it

  • @-.DIO.-
    @-.DIO.- 3 роки тому +2956

    "You know, rapping against you is not even a-fun."
    I love how genuine that was.

    • @kiradripkage
      @kiradripkage 2 роки тому +70

      Columbus won

    • @Tempusverum
      @Tempusverum 2 роки тому +91

      "It's like someone putting their brains on stun."
      Ah yes, the infamous Shatnerian Pause.
      "There's.......someoneonthewing. Some......Thing......

    • @IsaaacWithThreeA
      @IsaaacWithThreeA Рік тому

      @@kiradripkage Genocidal ass.

    • @kiradripkage
      @kiradripkage Рік тому +10

      @@IsaaacWithThreeA he won twice

    • @IsaaacWithThreeA
      @IsaaacWithThreeA Рік тому

      @@kiradripkage Genocidal ass.

  • @stephencooper2603
    @stephencooper2603 5 років тому +4972

    I know this is old, but Epic Lloyd always loses himself into his characters and is damned good as Kirk.

    • @BigBabaBooey
      @BigBabaBooey 4 роки тому +38

      @@andresfalconi3274 He didn't portray Jack the Ripper tho.

    • @ollyearle2967
      @ollyearle2967 4 роки тому +18

      Andrés Falconi Dan Bull did Jack the Rapper (also did Churchill)

    • @sudhanvakashyap297
      @sudhanvakashyap297 3 роки тому +10

      @@andresfalconi3274 that is dan bull,

    • @MuhammadFarukh
      @MuhammadFarukh 3 роки тому +3

      I love both of them but Lloyd played some great parts in the old ones and he owned them.

    • @ЕвгенийИгнатенко-б5л
      @ЕвгенийИгнатенко-б5л 3 роки тому +2

      Yeap, but Columbus definitely won :)

  • @joshuakent5821
    @joshuakent5821 5 років тому +5121

    Kirk makes a different face each syllable, and each one is gold.

    • @MrBungleish
      @MrBungleish 4 роки тому +18

      I wanted to press like but I reconsidered upon seeing you're at 666 already.

    • @melonmusk1179
      @melonmusk1179 4 роки тому +7

      1k likes and just a lot of comments?

    • @glipk
      @glipk 4 роки тому +1

      Yes

    • @henrygustavekrausse7459
      @henrygustavekrausse7459 4 роки тому +5

      Just like Shatner.

    • @memeSSJG
      @memeSSJG 4 роки тому +14

      I recently went through the entirety of star trek (yes ALL of it) but it's how kirk actually talks😭

  • @skatercatdn4433
    @skatercatdn4433 4 роки тому +3400

    Kirk's flow must've been tough to record. As an artist I don't know how you could do such a stuttered flow and still keep in time somehow. Props Lloyd for rapping it and all those who wrote it

    • @skettinbutter3635
      @skettinbutter3635 3 роки тому +153

      Have to agree. Back in the day I didn't appreciate how fucking good this was done.

    • @KapitainvonHass
      @KapitainvonHass 3 роки тому +65

      I'd say at least a good like 3 weeks. One week of just memorizing the whole thing and starting to try to get it down, then at least a week to get it to flow right, THEN another week of recording it without any cuts. Possibly longer. Especially since this was a while back when they weren't that good at this stuff yet. Plus the expressions? Like I could get the lyrics and rythem down in about 3 days or so. But the movements and expressions? That's like another at least two weeks. (But this is coming from someone that has no formal training, just an odd natural nack for all of it because of my family)

    • @personalname7815
      @personalname7815 2 роки тому +7

      Lloyd is a God

    • @galdronis5320
      @galdronis5320 2 роки тому +24

      Bro as a musician and percussionist I don’t understand how he was able to stilt his flow that well lol

    • @TimmyTurner-yr9ni
      @TimmyTurner-yr9ni Рік тому +2

      he nailed shat nerd's sub-par acting.

  • @thejohoe96
    @thejohoe96 4 роки тому +5965

    He said "Arrivederci, I'mma leave before this battle begins" and I bullshit you not my screen went black and I thought it was part of the video. Turns out my phone died 😂😂😂

  • @tabby4267
    @tabby4267 7 років тому +4375

    Columbus' disgusted face when he heard Kirk rapping

  • @singulartrout
    @singulartrout 5 років тому +7040

    Why did Columbus come back at the start?
    He was looking for the exit and got lost.

  • @wanderingdoc5229
    @wanderingdoc5229 6 років тому +10999

    I see so many people complaining about kirks rap style but it’s exactly like William Shatners acting style

    • @claytonmyers9739
      @claytonmyers9739 6 років тому +1116

      What's more, it had to be hard to rap like that on purpose.

    • @mazizazi8412
      @mazizazi8412 5 років тому +540

      I think he nailed it. It is unique and I actually enjoy that type of flow. I dont understand the hate .

    • @Sin22
      @Sin22 5 років тому +160

      So what? It sounds like shit. Everybody knows that's what he sounded like it's one of the most popular things to impersonate.
      I don't understand why every single person since 2011 has to be like "WELL ACTUALLY HE SOUNDED LIKE THAT"
      No shit. You're not a special snowflake for noticing that.
      Do you know why Columbus is speaking English and not Italian? Because how the rap sounds is more important than fucking authenticity lmfao.

    • @threepunch5702
      @threepunch5702 5 років тому +22

      True it wasn’t too bad but I still thought Columbus won

    • @GlitchDude
      @GlitchDude 5 років тому +366

      @@Sin22
      Columbus has an Italian accent, Kirk has the weird way of speaking.
      He raps in English because the channel is in English. Rapping in another language doesnt "make the rap sound bad". They've done verses in another language on other battles when appropriate, they chose not to in this one because it wouldn't add much to it in general. The way a character in a movie acts is important however, and that was added because it seemed more appropriate to them.

  • @porygon4023
    @porygon4023 4 роки тому +226

    Pause at literally any point in Captain Kirk's verse and you've got yourself a new reaction image

  • @lloydgarmadon9251
    @lloydgarmadon9251 4 роки тому +2132

    Best Flows: Columbus
    Best Disses: Kirk
    Best Neck Pinch: Spock
    Best Wrath: Khan

    • @djkaibaxter419
      @djkaibaxter419 4 роки тому +126

      Overall winner: captains log.

    • @because_raisins
      @because_raisins 4 роки тому +20

      the best flow award isn't a question at all.

    • @zyxluz4645
      @zyxluz4645 4 роки тому +31

      Hotel: Trivago

    • @vordt4139
      @vordt4139 4 роки тому +7

      Wrath of Khan is the best Star Trek movie, come at me.

    • @Wamba610
      @Wamba610 4 роки тому +16

      Winner : pompey

  • @raeparise4632
    @raeparise4632 5 років тому +1279

    Can we just talk about how PERFECT the instrumental is

    • @Roshambo920
      @Roshambo920 5 років тому +83

      It’s the first ERB that I actually had to find the instrumental only version

    • @oimenamesrick
      @oimenamesrick 4 роки тому +30

      I love em all but this one really matches perfectly with a penultimate battle.

    • @silkily
      @silkily 3 роки тому +9

      It is rlly strong at the beginning but at the end it’s kinda weak

    • @romariodesrosier1450
      @romariodesrosier1450 3 роки тому +3

      SPAAAAAAACE~

    • @michaelconnelly5890
      @michaelconnelly5890 2 роки тому +4

      Okay it's Canon D with a beat what's so special

  • @Dragnridr3
    @Dragnridr3 4 роки тому +1189

    The way that Lloyd uses Shatner's acting to create one of the most unique flows in the series is definitely what makes this one of my favorite battles.

  • @nsmith2927
    @nsmith2927 3 роки тому +152

    When Lloyd smiled and nodded through the telescope I died laughing. Looks like he had so much fun as Captain Kirk.

  • @psychoklarise
    @psychoklarise 8 років тому +1145

    "You spaghetti eating fuck."
    - Captain Kirk

    • @RisenInferno
      @RisenInferno 8 років тому +2

      same

    • @gen1hawk
      @gen1hawk 8 років тому +17

      +FireEmblemSevera you quoted it wrong. "You__spaghetti__eating_fuck" - Captian James Tiberius Kirk

    • @psychoklarise
      @psychoklarise 8 років тому +1

      +gen1hawk LOL yeah you're right that's actually better.

    • @joskomrnjola
      @joskomrnjola 8 років тому +3

      +FireEmblemSevera that is so deep

    • @psychoklarise
      @psychoklarise 8 років тому +2

      Žigmund Spidić Right? You can see all the metaphorical meaning behind it.

  • @SKeLeTrust
    @SKeLeTrust 5 років тому +1488

    we’ll see how Isabella likes my
    c a p t a i n ‘ s l o g

    • @productivestruggle9489
      @productivestruggle9489 5 років тому +3

      Dafuq is isabella?

    • @f.i.r.e.5119
      @f.i.r.e.5119 5 років тому +69

      @@productivestruggle9489
      My best guess is Spain's queen, who Columbus had to get permission from for his expedition.

    • @productivestruggle9489
      @productivestruggle9489 5 років тому +2

      @@f.i.r.e.5119 ohhhhh

    • @eddydrouet1888
      @eddydrouet1888 5 років тому +1

      @@f.i.r.e.5119 most likely yeah

    • @winstonliu7078
      @winstonliu7078 5 років тому +6

      @Jared Jams I believe Isabella I of Spain was the queen of Spain and with Ferdinand, gave Columbus the sponsorship for his 1492 Voyage

  • @Axarch
    @Axarch 10 років тому +590

    "You spaghetti eating fuck" is my new favorite insult.

    • @Hopfolk
      @Hopfolk 10 років тому +7

      Esp. since Peter played Columbus as an Italian, rather than a Spaniard :)

    • @DeltaCain13
      @DeltaCain13 10 років тому +67

      Hopfolk Columbus was Italian, he got a contract to explore in the name of Spain.

    • @Thebees21
      @Thebees21 10 років тому +25

      How's your spice rack doing?

    • @Hopfolk
      @Hopfolk 10 років тому +49

      Spice... the final frontier.

    • @Hopfolk
      @Hopfolk 10 років тому +2

      Jaimie Nirza Do you know anyone who 'doesn't' eat Spaghetti ?

  • @raiseasato
    @raiseasato 4 роки тому +180

    If any rap from season 1 needs a sequel, or an extended remake, it's this one. One of the best they've ever made and one of the most painfully short.

    • @appalach7148
      @appalach7148 Рік тому +5

      easily my favourite, the captain kirk flow is something else, I wish lloyd could do a whole album like that.

    • @pisces2569
      @pisces2569 Рік тому +2

      I agree. There is so much shit on Columbus that Kirk could have used to diss him

    • @THEJPIndustry
      @THEJPIndustry 4 місяці тому

      I think the start if this one was there zenit and they can never beat "arrevidaci imma leave before this battle begins"

  • @skiddy529
    @skiddy529 8 років тому +210

    "You spaghetti eating fuck, how's your spice rack doing? I'll be chilling in my spaceship, have fun canoeing."
    Favorite

    • @Disturbance42
      @Disturbance42 8 років тому +4

      He had me at "how's your spice rack doing?" fucking DEAD.

    • @skiddy529
      @skiddy529 8 років тому +3

      Vyntage the whole verse SLAYED me.
      Literally D.E.D

    • @sindfour3911
      @sindfour3911 8 років тому

      yp

  • @mainman3476
    @mainman3476 5 років тому +575

    Kirk's body language as he says "so I can beat this man" always cracks me up.

    • @TheDeadlyefx
      @TheDeadlyefx 4 роки тому +30

      Main Man "...like it’s my job." 😂

    • @daquanbumbry8519
      @daquanbumbry8519 Рік тому +3

      1:33

    • @MacenW
      @MacenW Рік тому

      "Representing river side iowa" i got a stroke

    • @ajlemuel969
      @ajlemuel969 10 місяців тому

      We'll see how Isabella loves my.... Captain's log

  • @frowny_brow
    @frowny_brow 5 років тому +743

    They'll be like
    Dammit
    It's
    Jim

    • @arseface2k934
      @arseface2k934 4 роки тому +28

      I've been in love with that line for nearly 10 years now. Sometimes it just pops in my mind and it's always welcome to do so.

    • @frowny_brow
      @frowny_brow 4 роки тому +15

      @@arseface2k934 Same. My family hates me cuz I used to love repeating the whole battle on loop. Also, I remembered that many people were discontent with Kirk's style.

    • @arseface2k934
      @arseface2k934 4 роки тому +3

      @@frowny_brow tbh I could see putting it on loop getting annoying, good thing there's headphones. people who have an issue with kirks rapping don't know who kirk is lol

    • @frowny_brow
      @frowny_brow 4 роки тому

      @@arseface2k934 Agreed 👌

  • @marcgirard1045
    @marcgirard1045 Рік тому +78

    I was getting divorced and figuring out how to protect three little boys for the drama when this came out. So funny and such a memory anchor for that time. Fast forward to 2023 with two successful adult sons and a beautiful teenage boy and I cry when I see how far we have come from back when this came out. This was the only thing that made me happy back in a difficult time.

    • @josiahrichardson5752
      @josiahrichardson5752 Рік тому +6

      proud for ya' marc

    • @fshoaps
      @fshoaps Рік тому +1

      This comment is mind-blowingly ridiculous. In fact, it is almost parodic.

  • @beniporag
    @beniporag 8 років тому +226

    The background music is like godlike, it gives me the feels

  • @Grishrak
    @Grishrak 5 років тому +950

    Since everyone complains about Kirk's rap style how about drive them nuts. William Shatner vs Christopher Walken

  • @littleblueclovers
    @littleblueclovers 8 років тому +1734

    Kirk wins because of how hilarious his lines and timings were
    "You!... Spaghetti-eating ...fuck!"

    • @lucabennito3651
      @lucabennito3651 7 років тому +17

      No he didn't win his roasts were dry up until the end but Columbuses burns were awesome the whole time

    • @TheDoctorAndTheTardis
      @TheDoctorAndTheTardis 7 років тому +9

      His disses were weak though.. not counting his last lines

    • @Ethan-io7fh
      @Ethan-io7fh 7 років тому +6

      The Doctor But For It To Be Fair You Have To Include The Last Ones

    • @miyaatsumu613
      @miyaatsumu613 7 років тому +24

      I'm italian and i eat spaghetta,pasta and PIZZA.("arrivederci"=goodbay)

    • @vanessajimenez8348
      @vanessajimenez8348 7 років тому +1

      hey

  • @denverdubois5835
    @denverdubois5835 4 роки тому +416

    "We'll see how Isabella likes my captain's log"
    That and the classic two-fisted Kirkian punch had me shrieking with laughter. This is HYSTERICAL and Epic Lloyd does one of the very finest Shatners EVER.

    • @Tempusverum
      @Tempusverum 3 роки тому +19

      I love how he’s mooching the alien chick at 1:50 then punches her lights out. So in character ROFL

    • @jtgd
      @jtgd Рік тому +6

      1:49 MY BRIDGE 😊

    • @rafaelglopezroman1110
      @rafaelglopezroman1110 Рік тому

      As funny as that line is it is kind of irrelevant since Isabella is not Columbus wife. However in historical context Isabella would have the Spanish Inquisition torture Kirk before burning him alive, clearly his speech impediment is the sign of demonic possession. She created the Spanish Inquisition afterall.

    • @greywolf7577
      @greywolf7577 11 місяців тому

      Did he punch a bunch of alien girls in the show? I don't get what the reference is.@@Tempusverum

  • @soumyabratabiswas4877
    @soumyabratabiswas4877 5 років тому +4612

    'Arrivederci
    Imma leave before this battle begins'.
    -
    -
    -
    -
    *Christopher Columbus doesn't return*
    Who won? Who's next?
    U decide!
    Eeeeeeeeeeepic Rap Battles of History!

  • @MrHatefulone
    @MrHatefulone 8 років тому +447

    "you spaghetti eating fuck" has to be the best sentence ever created.

    • @greymajickjedi
      @greymajickjedi 7 років тому +3

      No, that honor goes to Roddy Piper entering a bank with guns.

    • @greymajickjedi
      @greymajickjedi 7 років тому

      No, that honor already belongs to the line Nada gave after he entered the bank with the guns....
      😎

    • @apexgear2340
      @apexgear2340 6 років тому +6

      Somebody toucha my spaggett!

  • @bogeii7473
    @bogeii7473 7 років тому +568

    "Im gonna leave before this battle even begins" (casually walks back and continues)

    • @LadyAda__
      @LadyAda__ 5 років тому +4

      As I read this it happened

    • @chrishawkins8859
      @chrishawkins8859 5 років тому +1

      @@LadyAda__ to me that just told me he lost cause he needed a minute

    • @TheEmeraldMenOfficial
      @TheEmeraldMenOfficial 5 років тому +2

      Bogeii I love how he flourishes his cape. It makes it so much more authentic.

    • @AlexanderAzarov
      @AlexanderAzarov 5 років тому +4

      When you're just so disgusted you need to go back and express yourself even harsher.

    • @KnightsaysNi
      @KnightsaysNi 5 років тому

      Stealing this from someone else's comment, but he came back because he got lost and couldn't find the exit.

  • @gambasTV
    @gambasTV 4 роки тому +33

    By far the best one of these y'all ever made. It just works, not just as comedy but as music; goddamn I could listen to Lloyd as Kirk gliding on that beat all day.

  • @maxsolis5538
    @maxsolis5538 6 років тому +1671

    "Mr. Spock, beam me back to 1492 so I can BEAT this man"
    The emphasis on beat has me dying 😂

    • @girlcow
      @girlcow 5 років тому +26

      youre right, thats actually hilarious

    • @jackhayter1153
      @jackhayter1153 5 років тому +36

      Spock leaning in the transponder and then looking at the screen... Freaking hilarious

    • @karmaross1866
      @karmaross1866 5 років тому +13

      Like it's my job.

    • @OlaftheGreat
      @OlaftheGreat 5 років тому +7

      Everyone thinks Columbus saying "it's not even fun" makes him win. Clearly, they don't know Kirk.
      Kirk wins

    • @LanceFromWoW
      @LanceFromWoW 5 років тому +13

      Kirk's lines are all great imo

  • @daedra40
    @daedra40 8 років тому +936

    Holy shit - I remember when I watched this as it came out

    • @logicalreasoning6636
      @logicalreasoning6636 7 років тому +6

      daedra40 I never watch anything when it first comes out. Lol. This is one of my favorites, though. Love the two artists who play these and other characters...think they're among the best on ERBH.

    • @danialhasan6466
      @danialhasan6466 7 років тому +1

      Same, this and the Vader vs Hitler raps

    • @rsookchand919
      @rsookchand919 6 років тому

      I remember watching this when it first came out as well.

    • @Edgemender
      @Edgemender 6 років тому

      Really?!

    • @Trismegustis
      @Trismegustis 6 років тому +2

      First time I watched this, it stopped loading right after Colombus said "I'm-a leave before this battle begins." and i just. thought it was over.

  • @DannieJensen
    @DannieJensen 9 років тому +269

    Ten years on UA-cam and I've never come across you guys ... I am disappoint.

    • @kalebsayong2853
      @kalebsayong2853 9 років тому +1

      because their channel didnt start in 2005

    • @DannieJensen
      @DannieJensen 9 років тому +6

      +Kaleb Sayong I'm talking UA-cam suggestions here ... usually it seems to be quite adept at suggesting good shit.

    • @LeonMire
      @LeonMire 9 років тому +5

      +Dannie Jensen Welcome to the club! We're not the nicest group, but we do love us some ERB!

    • @Quetzal00358
      @Quetzal00358 9 років тому +1

      You have found the light now

    • @splashdistrict5263
      @splashdistrict5263 9 років тому

      You were on youtube since 2006, so you werent on youtube for 10 years, liar

  • @Hawkster52
    @Hawkster52 2 роки тому +47

    This is criminally underrated and underviewed. All of Kirk's verses are funny if you're a fan of Star Trek.

    • @spuddy-muffin
      @spuddy-muffin 8 місяців тому

      Captain kirk gives the silly, loveable and hilarious lines when Christopher columbus is epic, triumphant and powerful this makes it, in my opinion the most underrated erb

  • @PenguinAmbassador
    @PenguinAmbassador 5 років тому +60

    I can’t explain how much I am in love with this ERB. The writing for Columbus is so fucking top notch it’s unbelievable, coupled with Kirks hilarious flow makes for an amazing video.

  • @pigeonsheepfishes
    @pigeonsheepfishes 8 років тому +234

    "you, spaghetti, eating fu****" LMAO I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING. The way he said it kills me.

  • @TheShadowForce422
    @TheShadowForce422 9 років тому +162

    I don't know why but I just love listening to the way Kirk speaks :p

    • @leonthethird7494
      @leonthethird7494 9 років тому +4

      And I don't know why everyone else hates it, cuz it so unik

    • @LimitXxXNinja
      @LimitXxXNinja 9 років тому

      It's a Kendrick Lamar type flow

    • @peytonfaz
      @peytonfaz 9 років тому

      +The Shadow Force A lot of people hate it. I don't know why cause I really like it xD

    • @bakerygoblin6895
      @bakerygoblin6895 9 років тому +1

      Seriously!? Listening to Kirk was driving me insane. I hated listening to him. It reminded me of every one of Obama's speeches for some reason.

    • @kegman6759
      @kegman6759 9 років тому

      I know right

  • @ThemeParkAvenue
    @ThemeParkAvenue 3 роки тому +40

    1:46 I love how every word sounds like it was done in a different take.

  • @vordt4139
    @vordt4139 8 років тому +910

    This beat goes so hard.

    • @Gangstabob716
      @Gangstabob716 8 років тому +12

      I have bass boosted version of this if you wanna check it out

    • @MachetesAreFun
      @MachetesAreFun 8 років тому +15

      you have bass boosted version of this and you have a patriots logo... just wondering, are you literally the best person ever?

    • @Gangstabob716
      @Gangstabob716 8 років тому +9

      Machetes AreFun
      lol i guess so? i love machetes btw

    • @kristianapettersson
      @kristianapettersson 7 років тому

      I'd like it, damn it's good

    • @greymajickjedi
      @greymajickjedi 7 років тому

      +sam ham Enough about when the Pampers pull-ups commercial comes on, creep...

  • @alysonswindler279
    @alysonswindler279 8 років тому +427

    Spock vs. literally anyone

  • @Tkieron
    @Tkieron 5 років тому +62

    Kirk won.
    But I keep coming back because of how cool Columbus' accent and flow is.

  • @icarusmarioFAN
    @icarusmarioFAN 4 роки тому +303

    0:25 One of the best opening lines of any ERB

    • @Pastàár
      @Pastàár 2 роки тому +27

      Let me just step right in I got things to invent

    • @CosmicOwO
      @CosmicOwO Рік тому +9

      @@Pastàár I'm an innovator baby, change the world

    • @belkYT
      @belkYT Рік тому +5

      With bars weighing on you more than your haunting guilty conscious

    • @catgaming357
      @catgaming357 Рік тому

      besides"psst, what about a flute busting prussian"

    • @ShimesYiger
      @ShimesYiger Рік тому +2

      @@CosmicOwO Fortune 500 fire you kissed the girl

  • @jenniferk7669
    @jenniferk7669 5 років тому +121

    This is the best Epic Lloyd has ever looked. Especially his charming smile at the end.

    • @yunohhu4779
      @yunohhu4779 4 роки тому +9

      I KNOW RIGHT, that was so graceful and charismatic

    • @It762
      @It762 4 роки тому +3

      He should cast for st discovery season 4? :D

    • @MuhammadFarukh
      @MuhammadFarukh 3 роки тому +5

      “You spaghetti eating f*ck”, man that kills me everytime. Even ten years later

    • @mrsillytacos
      @mrsillytacos Рік тому

      Meh I think Babe Ruth was better but this was good

  • @MrJohnKellogg
    @MrJohnKellogg 10 років тому +29

    That line at 1:27 is great: "I am the fabric of history, you are a fictional stain. I'll stick a flag up your ass and claim you for Spain." Shit had me rolling.

  • @SgtTwilight
    @SgtTwilight 6 років тому +153

    I forgot how good the early ERBs were. Not that the new ones are bad but I miss the simplicity of the older ones.

  • @mcdonalds5972
    @mcdonalds5972 4 роки тому +218

    0:26
    Me at Thanksgiving dinner as soon as politics is brought up.

    • @Tempusverum
      @Tempusverum 3 роки тому +25

      “Cause we both know in the end, which of these is gonna win!”

    • @hungery8524
      @hungery8524 3 роки тому +9

      "Arrivaderci, I'm going to leave before this battle begins"

    • @fabianbermudez4178
      @fabianbermudez4178 3 роки тому +1

      100th like

  • @Pendragon667
    @Pendragon667 7 років тому +114

    *lol* They even adapted Shatners way of... "singing"
    Fun fact: no Red Shirt(c) died during this episode. Strange... ^^

    • @iexist8293
      @iexist8293 5 років тому

      Arthur Pendragon a red hat died though

  • @kayhowell5848
    @kayhowell5848 7 років тому +716

    "Arrivederci
    I'mma leave before this battle begins"
    "Now, take your genocidal ass off of my bridge"
    Ironically, the beginning and end lines have me torn between the two.

    • @conordowse4537
      @conordowse4537 6 років тому +16

      Christopher Columbus was a Genoan hired by the Castille to discover a route to India but instead ended up in the west indies. (So yea he would be speaking a Italian dialect)

    • @Eliagiulio
      @Eliagiulio 6 років тому +11

      Actually the last verse is inaccurate. Columbus had nothing to do with the genocide

    • @conordowse4537
      @conordowse4537 6 років тому +12

      The extent to which he was involved with the genocide is disputable but he was involved some way or another. He was also known for being a brutal tyrant, the reason he was removed as governor of the Indies by the Castilian Crown.

    • @Eliagiulio
      @Eliagiulio 6 років тому +2

      Conor Dowse While he was a tyrant when he was a governor, I still don't see how he is related to a genocide that came way later in parts of the countries he didn't actually visit

    • @conordowse4537
      @conordowse4537 6 років тому +6

      Elia Guilio I guess you aren't aware of the genocide of the natives of Hispaniola (The Taino Genocide)??? You know the genocide he was responsible for...... Cos thats what I am referring to. So yes he did commit genocide as governor of the indies.

  • @WorgenDeath
    @WorgenDeath 10 років тому +21

    Columbus won but kirk was realy funny, the way he said "You spaghetti eating fuck" made me laugh realy hard.

  • @katriendecanniere9505
    @katriendecanniere9505 Рік тому +132

    I like how kirk is like "you discovered a new world that was already inhabited" while thats basically his job

    • @LucyAdroit
      @LucyAdroit 9 місяців тому +8

      I mean, at least he admits to it while Columbus is denying it? XD

    • @αυτοκράτοραςΙωά
      @αυτοκράτοραςΙωά 5 місяців тому

      @@LucyAdroit where did he denied it?

    • @LucyAdroit
      @LucyAdroit 5 місяців тому +1

      @@αυτοκράτοραςΙωά Not in the verse, I mean in actual history

  • @KeyIssues
    @KeyIssues 5 років тому +1249

    Hippocrates vs Dr. House

    • @joot6345
      @joot6345 4 роки тому +5

      oh shit Key Issues

    • @evank3718
      @evank3718 4 роки тому +2

      Please yes

    • @Bagsy84
      @Bagsy84 4 роки тому +12

      doctor dre vs doctor doom

    • @haldanandpako2755
      @haldanandpako2755 4 роки тому +2

      Yes. Also someone vs Dr.Manhattan

    • @evank3718
      @evank3718 4 роки тому

      Haldan And Pako They already did that with Thanos

  • @kevintodd674
    @kevintodd674 11 років тому +84

    Only Kirk could do a spoken word version of a rap.

    • @Schmitti1982
      @Schmitti1982 11 років тому +3

      futurama :D

    • @kevintodd674
      @kevintodd674 11 років тому +12

      *****
      yeah. he did a damn good Shatner impersonation. I also loved that little nod Spock gave when Kirk said "see how Isabella likes my Captain's Log."

    • @aidanhugh2490
      @aidanhugh2490 7 місяців тому

      HE FOUND A WAY

  • @InalienableLiberty
    @InalienableLiberty 8 років тому +125

    Perhaps one of the most underrated battles.

  • @alexgoebel7462
    @alexgoebel7462 Рік тому +35

    "It's Kobayashi for you." Is still one of the rawest lines 10 years later

  • @vaspeter2600
    @vaspeter2600 9 років тому +307

    I love people.
    RB with Hitler: "lol"
    RB with Stalin, Lenin, Putin, etc.: "lol"
    RB with Columbus: "ermahgerd, what a murderer!"
    I really do love people.

    • @t3eth760
      @t3eth760 9 років тому +17

      I know....
      I hate people

    • @t3eth760
      @t3eth760 9 років тому

      Michael Reed HA!, nuuuuuurrrd

    • @jorrogboe
      @jorrogboe 9 років тому +10

      vaspeter2600 Because only in America has people ever been killed for different beliefs. Only Columbus made that happen...Fucking SJWs man...

    • @ScreamingRamen
      @ScreamingRamen 9 років тому +3

      vaspeter2600 to be fair hitler and stalin dont have national holidays like columbus does

    • @Bluecatte
      @Bluecatte 9 років тому +3

      +666NedFlanders he wasnt even the initial founder or explorer. that distinction would go A: to the people that lived there first, or B: Erik the Red and Amerigo Vespucci.
      columbus is a worthless, ill-talented, genocidal piece of shit, just like most of europe was in the colonial times.

  • @bolshevikY2K
    @bolshevikY2K 6 років тому +302

    yOU caLL yOURseLf An ExploRER bUt I'm JUsT nOt haVing iT, yOU DiSCoverEd a NeW WoRld thAT wAs ALreadY inHAbitED
    lul

    • @TheDeadlyefx
      @TheDeadlyefx 6 років тому +4

      PERFECT

    • @OlaftheGreat
      @OlaftheGreat 5 років тому

      Agreed

    • @willmosse3684
      @willmosse3684 5 років тому +17

      Yeah, funny, though in fact all the worlds they discover on Star Trek are already inhabited too

    • @greenredbluezombie7793
      @greenredbluezombie7793 5 років тому +5

      Will Mosse some aren’t inhabited

    • @OlaftheGreat
      @OlaftheGreat 5 років тому +3

      @@greenredbluezombie7793 Thank you, my fellow Trekkie

  • @spinolama160
    @spinolama160 9 років тому +629

    Kirk had shitty flow but it was way too funny

    • @pxrpetualpxin1143
      @pxrpetualpxin1143 9 років тому +82

      Exactly, I think it was intentional but I'm laughing my ass off

    • @Th3GoatMan
      @Th3GoatMan 9 років тому +114

      "You spaghetti eating fuck!"
      -Captain Kirk

    • @patsyl8935
      @patsyl8935 9 років тому +31

      Radioactive Gamer Yes it is. It is the way he spoke in the tv show

    • @MrMartechi
      @MrMartechi 9 років тому +12

      ***** He had one or two perfomances of famous songs back in the day and it is literally how he "sings" there. They did a pretty good job copying that.

    • @patsyl8935
      @patsyl8935 9 років тому

      yeah

  • @drnuggetssn
    @drnuggetssn 4 роки тому +125

    This has to be my favourite ERB beat. The Beethoven/Beiber, Mario Bros/Wright Bros and Jack the Ripper/Hannibal Lecter are barely behind imo.

    • @foxybeast7244
      @foxybeast7244 3 роки тому +5

      Gotta add Mozart vs Skrillex to that

    • @Allustrial740
      @Allustrial740 2 роки тому +1

      Roosevelt vs Churchill has an awesome beat too

    • @caroltawil
      @caroltawil Рік тому +2

      How bout the artists vs TMNT beat that one is fire

    • @IbrahimIbrahim-vu3zb
      @IbrahimIbrahim-vu3zb Рік тому +2

      THIS his one and Stephen King vs Edgar Allan Poe are two of my favorites.

    • @drnuggetssn
      @drnuggetssn Рік тому +2

      Since I made this comment, all the beats mentioned in these replies are amazing ones too. ERB beats are just lit

  • @maland2016
    @maland2016 8 років тому +30

    0:27 - Well, that didn't last long.
    0:32 - Oh, never mind then. Back to business.

  • @ozlemriby9901
    @ozlemriby9901 9 років тому +135

    Columbus had better rap.Kirk had better points

    • @teamplayer2helper
      @teamplayer2helper 9 років тому +2

      Agreed.

    • @zadiefluxx8874
      @zadiefluxx8874 9 років тому +1

      +Ozlem Riby columbus gave small pocks and killed natives o kirk wins

    • @zachmayo8636
      @zachmayo8636 9 років тому +2

      +Archer Laughlin You're supposed to judge them on how the battle went, not things they actually did.

    • @xGoodOldSmurfehx
      @xGoodOldSmurfehx 8 років тому +2

      +Zach Mayo Columbus > better rhymes, Kirk > better insults
      Kirk won :)

    • @christian_2749
      @christian_2749 8 років тому +1

      Columbus is the one kid that takes the credit for the project when he was asleep half the time

  • @derpie7426
    @derpie7426 8 років тому +91

    0:27 wut "Arrivederci Imma leave before this battle begins"

    • @OllerHaha
      @OllerHaha 8 років тому +12

      Derpie742 "Cause we both know in the end which of these captains gonna win" Makes sense, right?

    • @CathedralKey9
      @CathedralKey9 8 років тому +10

      Derpie742 Arrivederci means goodbye in italian

    • @derpie7426
      @derpie7426 8 років тому

      CathedralKey9 I know

    • @richardlind6165
      @richardlind6165 8 років тому +8

      Derpie742 then why ask

    • @eddm1167
      @eddm1167 7 років тому +3

      Italy represent

  • @spuddy-muffin
    @spuddy-muffin 8 місяців тому +14

    most underrated erb

  • @farmerjeff15
    @farmerjeff15 6 років тому +2841

    Anyone saying Kirk lost because he had bad flow has clearly never watched any original Star Trek

    • @siddhantsharma7728
      @siddhantsharma7728 6 років тому +65

      I have not watched them either, But I still think he won I just thought Kirk was always drunk..

    • @JoeBurkeZerk
      @JoeBurkeZerk 6 років тому +70

      Siddhant Sharma No, that's how Kirk talks normally. If you disregard that, then Kirk ties with Columbus.

    • @zakl940
      @zakl940 6 років тому +69

      I watched every episode of the original star trek and don't think they did a good job of emulating it, it was just too emphasised and unrealistic and it ruined the flow of the rap Battle, just my opinion. EDIT:coming back to it a year later I don't think it's nearly as bad and its grown on me, in fact I actually think kirk wins now

    • @JuanMongeJ-3Dmo
      @JuanMongeJ-3Dmo 6 років тому +9

      He rapped so weird

    • @Joleyn-Joy
      @Joleyn-Joy 6 років тому +19

      no, he lost cuz 1:26

  • @crosbowkil98
    @crosbowkil98 9 років тому +69

    "You spagetti eating fuck"
    I'm done, this'll become my ringtone

  • @charlesstanley7857
    @charlesstanley7857 4 роки тому +135

    "I'll be chilling in my space ship have fun canoeing" Kirk's flow was strong

  • @vaddix9980
    @vaddix9980 4 роки тому +4

    "You spaghetti eating fuck"
    The best insult ever recorded. It's flawless.

  • @drantaresgonson355
    @drantaresgonson355 5 років тому +552

    1:30
    When the Spanish kid gets in an arguement with the Native American kid

  • @seppoleonvervloet132
    @seppoleonvervloet132 8 років тому +140

    I actually think Kirks flow is so awkward that it becomes perfect

  • @tsunamilegotaprofesional6749
    @tsunamilegotaprofesional6749 5 років тому +479

    Nobody:
    Columbus: *aight imma head out*

    • @k-boi420
      @k-boi420 4 роки тому +25

      Also Columbus: Aight imma head in

    • @docrofreborn7497
      @docrofreborn7497 4 роки тому +3

      For we 3 know which captain’s gonna win

  • @leonlaviu3123
    @leonlaviu3123 Рік тому +13

    Admit it, Columbus reaction at 1:00 is the the same you had the first time you heard the flow of Captain Kirk

  • @noahpanoncillo6248
    @noahpanoncillo6248 7 років тому +1461

    Columbus wins because his face when he said "you know rapping against you its not even fun"

    • @BaboonBalloon679
      @BaboonBalloon679 6 років тому +14

      Noah Panoncillo ERB misspelled “against” during that line LMAO

    • @Swordsquire
      @Swordsquire 5 років тому +3

      That's because losing never is fun. Lol!

    • @shanf1639
      @shanf1639 5 років тому +3

      @@Swordsquire no he won

    • @eastonhopkins6947
      @eastonhopkins6947 5 років тому +3

      But captain kurk won that’s why he doesn’t want to rap battle against him he will 100% lose

    • @leftylizard9085
      @leftylizard9085 5 років тому +1

      I get it, too. When someone speaks to you with the inflections Captain Kirk did, it's perfectly natural to respond with utter confusion as conveyed by his face.

  • @lopoptop
    @lopoptop 8 років тому +188

    Anyone re-watching for the new season?

  • @J.PMora1957
    @J.PMora1957 7 років тому +172

    Great, they did the Shatner acting. Amazing rap battle

  • @patricklaxson8863
    @patricklaxson8863 3 роки тому +23

    Considering Columbus Day is being wiped and Shatner is going into space this week, what was old is new again.

    • @moonie1825
      @moonie1825 3 роки тому

      Columbus Day is fine, who cares if he killed a bunch of people who didn't?

  • @MonkeyDBuild
    @MonkeyDBuild 4 роки тому +27

    I feel that this is one of the most underrated ERB’s ever. This is fire 🔥

  • @angelomordini6779
    @angelomordini6779 10 років тому +18

    Spaghetti eating fuck I was laughing so hard

  • @MaliciousMallard
    @MaliciousMallard 8 років тому +122

    ... Put my sword in Sulu... He may like that.... OH MYYYYYY

  • @dsm864
    @dsm864 4 роки тому +28

    spocks reaction at 1:40 kills me ever time i watch this lmao

  • @EmSonntag
    @EmSonntag 5 років тому +114

    The use of the Shatner comma makes this battle all the better.

    • @Tempusverum
      @Tempusverum 3 роки тому +7

      “Bones. There’s......someone on the wing - some..........thing......”

    • @Hassy171717
      @Hassy171717 3 роки тому +1

      They need to do Shatner vs Walken!!!!

  • @lualcrossmx
    @lualcrossmx 10 років тому +180

    Captain Nemo Vs Captain Jack Sparrow

  • @rstueckle
    @rstueckle 10 років тому +18

    Columbus's rhymes were solid and I honestly think he won but "you spaghetti eating fuck" is just pure gold.

  • @dustinpilon2258
    @dustinpilon2258 3 роки тому +25

    "I am the fabric of history, you are a fictional stain" remains one of my favorite disses of all time 10 years later

  • @FlynnBTerrens
    @FlynnBTerrens 5 років тому +84

    8 years,still a masterpiece

  • @leooooonscottkennedy4535
    @leooooonscottkennedy4535 11 років тому +37

    Columbus didn't discover America... but he still won.

    • @Wolfst0rm
      @Wolfst0rm 11 років тому +9

      Kirk OWNED Columbus

    • @MittRomney392
      @MittRomney392 6 місяців тому

      finally someone also thinks he won

  • @photonman666
    @photonman666 10 років тому +40

    Even though Kirk often pauses between words, no one ever dares interrupt him.

    • @James-gs6wy
      @James-gs6wy 10 років тому

      I dare.

    • @ContentTerminator
      @ContentTerminator 10 років тому +8

      Matthew Wolf shut up nerds I serve justice so eat it

    • @glitchkid14
      @glitchkid14 10 років тому

      slade wilson My sidekick only comes around

    • @ContentTerminator
      @ContentTerminator 10 років тому

      Hello it's for you bill Cosby wants his sweater

    • @ContentTerminator
      @ContentTerminator 10 років тому

      Who won, who's next, you decide eeeeeepppppppiiiiiiiiiiiccccccccc rapppp battlesssss of historyyyyy

  • @DrowningSorrows1
    @DrowningSorrows1 3 роки тому +84

    The Captain Kirk impression was perfect, it was a good tribute to how Shatner acts in that series (it was a little bit exaggerated but so is every other great impression). Also, the way he spoke in this video gave him a more unique and interesting flow. He could word his insults better than normal.
    I remember this video got heavily disliked when it first came out but now people have warmed up to it.

  • @atkhan
    @atkhan 10 років тому +2319

    When Columbus left after saying his first line ... He already won

    • @ncghostoflowerd2398
      @ncghostoflowerd2398 6 років тому +8

      He did

    • @inthaniak
      @inthaniak 6 років тому +36

      i dare to disagree :)
      kirk won, lightyears ahead

    • @JoeBurkeZerk
      @JoeBurkeZerk 6 років тому +7

      It was a tie after Kirk's last line

    • @jjs6568
      @jjs6568 6 років тому

      Yes, yes he did.

    • @GearGuardianGaming
      @GearGuardianGaming 5 років тому

      Polo King For Life the same can be said for kirk...

  • @spaceprincess5728
    @spaceprincess5728 8 років тому +22

    "You spaghetti eating fuck" is still my favorite ERB line to date.

  • @SeherFettProductions
    @SeherFettProductions 5 років тому +75

    I feel like people hated on this one a lot when it came out, but these days they appreciate it much more. Guess they were weirded out by the Shatner impersonation at first but I honestly like how they rolled with it.

  • @isagamwachiwa3233
    @isagamwachiwa3233 2 роки тому +14

    I really liked how Kirk said “ Earth.” But that “ You know rapping with you, it’s not even even fun. It’s like someone setta your brain on stun.” Took me out 😂😂 so much genuineness. Columbus all the way too underrated video in my time.

  • @GeppettoProductions
    @GeppettoProductions 8 років тому +167

    Captain Picard vs Professor Xavier

    • @TempestCry
      @TempestCry 8 років тому +3

      handwolf yes

    • @thogthemighty7960
      @thogthemighty7960 8 років тому +3

      Picard vs Han Solo

    • @greymajickjedi
      @greymajickjedi 7 років тому +6

      That is not only an awesome idea, it would be bizarre as hell to watch.
      Bonus surprise guest rapper:
      i forget his name, but way back in 1983, Patrick Stewart played a general in David Lynch's adaptation of Frank Herbert's Dune novel.
      He uttered the immortal line:
      "Behold, as a wild ass in the desert, go forth I to my work".

    • @tyroneemail
      @tyroneemail 6 років тому

      No, Malcom X vs Professor X

  • @ajs_otaku_corner
    @ajs_otaku_corner 10 років тому +27

    Columbus won. It didn't even sound like Kirk was rapping.

  • @karel5348
    @karel5348 11 років тому +22

    "you know rapping against you it's not even fun it's like somebody set your brains on stun" that was it man with that line he won the battle

  • @cykrolis
    @cykrolis 9 місяців тому +4

    I always come back to this one, gotta be top 5 beats of all ERB

  • @LemonWedge123
    @LemonWedge123 9 років тому +255

    "rapping agaisnt you"

  • @oddlouli
    @oddlouli 8 років тому +155

    “ I'll be chilling in my spaceship, have fun canoeing"
    and
    “ now take your genocidal ass off my bridge "
    are the best ending lines ever
    kirk wins

    • @sisterflandre2525
      @sisterflandre2525 8 років тому +1

      I thought Cortes was the genocidal ass O_O

    • @alectantheapache6261
      @alectantheapache6261 8 років тому +3

      Sister Flandre Christopher Columbus was considered brutal even for conquistador standards

    • @priscillaemerald987
      @priscillaemerald987 8 років тому +5

      "Why don't you boldly go to someplace like India,
      or any destination you actually set sail for",
      YOU SPAGHETTI EATING FUCK, how's your spice rack doing,
      I'll be chilling my spaceship, have fun canoeing."
      Winner, Kirk.

    • @sisterflandre2525
      @sisterflandre2525 8 років тому

      Yeah he was racist and abusive, but i'm not so sure he wanted to entirely destroy these caribbeans native culture (at least he didn't had that in mind) as his objectives were to trade.
      Cortes in the other hand, comes with conquer objectives, a prepared army, etc,etc.

    • @oddlouli
      @oddlouli 8 років тому

      Sister Flandre his objectives were to conquer the lands...that also means come here and stole it from the native tribes

  • @raidman3733
    @raidman3733 8 років тому +1857

    Kirk wins simply because he managed to actually rap like that.

    • @yrvjutrtubxsyi
      @yrvjutrtubxsyi 8 років тому +33

      he wasn't even rapping...

    • @anttibjorklund1869
      @anttibjorklund1869 8 років тому +84

      Have you ever heard William Shatner trying to "sing"? That's what they were parodying here.

    • @kaliyuga1476
      @kaliyuga1476 8 років тому +3

      the spainsh is better

    • @MustyKong
      @MustyKong 8 років тому +21

      +Alejandro Reguera Diaz His lines were shit. Kirk ripped his dick off.

    • @MrHatoi
      @MrHatoi 8 років тому +1

      Yep.

  • @josesierraromero8316
    @josesierraromero8316 3 роки тому +32

    As Spaniard i find this pretty funny,the flag that Colon displays so proudly in fact is modern Spain flag,the old has lions and castles.that was the first european flag in America.
    And yes...William Shatner speaks EXACTLY like that😂

    • @OfficialDoctorHawk
      @OfficialDoctorHawk Рік тому

      I’m pretty sure the flag you described isn’t even the flag of Spain during Columbus’ time.

    • @josesierraromero8316
      @josesierraromero8316 Рік тому +3

      @@OfficialDoctorHawk is the flag of "Reign of Castilla y Aragon" (the seed of our modern Country) and was the very first European flag in American Soil,brave people that because in those times travel to América was like travel to Mars