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@@coleharrell9015 1 Corinthians 4:15 Even if you had ten thousand guardians in Christ, you do not have many fathers, for in Christ Jesus I became your father through the gospel.
I love these Clickbait titles, they get me every time. I’m a woman, but I am so grateful for this channel, it’s messages are so needed for the men of today. Andrew Tate and Jordan Peterson simply are not cutting it. They are good bridges to the truth, but they are not the truth. Jesus Christ is the truth.
@@youcantbeatk7006 Weird comment. There is nothing untrue about the title, Clickbait doesn’t insinuate or necessitate that there is lying, it is a string of words that pulls you in to click in a creative way utilizing psychology.
This is really great. My husband is definitely a Mr. Steady and I am Artsy. It works very well. He is dependable and yes, predictable. I bring some fun to the table and also provide, as you mentioned, some nurturing. We have both learned from each other, how to take care of the other and what is important to the other. I keep house better than I used to because I know it helps him. He is more open to adventure and taking chances than he used to be. We have five beautiful, challenging and wonderful kids together.
I regret getting married. Now I’m stuck and have to honor my commitment. I got a girl pregnant and wanted to make things right. It’s a consequence of my sin. Remember friends, deny your flesh, avoid sin. They have lasting consequences you have to man up and carry. And if you must marry because of your burning desires please be wise in your selection. Pray for me, friends.
Pray for the fruit of your marriage to bloom. God will be happy to use this for good. Don’t harden your heart to only do this out of obligation. Find a way to love her like Christ loved you.
Nothing is impossible with God. Keep trusting Him and He will help you through it by the power of His Spirit. Praying the grace and blessing of God over you and your family.
I agree with the first comment. Learn to love your wife unless she's unfaithful or violent, any other thing can be overlooked by practing love as a husband, unless you are operating by worldly standards, nothing can't be fixed
@@normadaly7506 Well, God knows everything anyway, according to Christians, he is omnipotent, all powerful and also all knowing, if he's already chosen your fate, it would work anyway, and God's already seen your whole lifespan, in one flash.
It’s very apparent that these kinds of teaching should be coming from sources of spiritual authority MORE THAN EVER BEFORE! Some of these comments reveal the true mindset of men and women alike. It’s a sad state, but now we all have the opportunity to change in the way that God calls all mankind to! Thank you Fr. Moses!🖤☦️
Very worthy observation. Thank you for pointing that out ... I was shocked by some of the comments I saw too, especially if the person claims to be a person of faith. But God is good in redirecting paths when in error. Praise God for grace and mercy, as well as His continued faithfulness.
Floundering visionary here, and I have had many adventures, but I’m glad to see that I’m not totally defective. I’d love to see some more breakdowns of weaknesses and strengths for these types! Thank you 🙏 this is great stuff!
I struggled for most my adulthood until I got into my high income career which I absolutely love and is a perfect fit for me. Looking back, I wonder why I didn't do this years ago. And it came from doing something a little bit different, which made all the difference in the world. I believe lots of people struggle because they're fundamentally doing the wrong thing for them, and, I would guess you already know what you'd rather be doing, and most importantly, why you haven't taken the steps to do so. Remember, God will help you the whole way. I encourage you to do so and hope you follow through with your dreams. An honest desire in our hearts is God's proof to us that we can take the steps to get there. We just gotta get out of our own way.
Please pray for my girlfriend and I! We are very happy and healthy together, looking forward to continuing to spend time with each other for the end goal of marriage. Having someone by your side who shares your vision really does make things so much easier.
You called out my dad with the visionary type, he's always on the move always working towards something but he's been broke and financially unstable throughout most of my childhood and now (He used to be financially stable when he was doing life like Mr.Steady lol) Love ya dad 😂
Before I got married my father told me that the things I liked most about my husband would be the things that drove me crazy later. He was right . We learned to keep things in perspective and to love each other as we were . I think that what has kept my marriage together for 40 years is that we prioritized our marriage over anything else. Our relationship was the foundation of our family. So you could say that we shared the same vision.
I’m definitely a nurturer married to a commander man. Our life’s work through our marriage has definitely been to soften his heart while strengthening mine. Our saving grace has been our shared vision - our faith, our children’s formation, and our commitment to the vocation of matrimony. If it were not for the Hand of God through those things we would have NO hope, lol. We are just way too different. Definitely made for an exciting courtship though!
I really appreciate your humor in how you worded this. The same relationship dynamic could be perceived wuldly different from another person, or from a person in a different stage of their relationship. It's easy to get hung up on what DOESN'T work. Thanks for focusing on what DOES work, and giving the perspective of "excitement " instead of turbulence. 🤗
I’m definitely a do-it-all woman looking for my Mr. Steady. I don’t want any more chaos in my life when it comes to men. I really value order and discipline and I want someone who can act that out with me in our lives
I don’t know how in the world this ended up in my suggested videos, but you nailed it like no one else ever has. All these other relationship experts cannot hold a candle to you.
Solid starting place. Thank you. I think an easy mistake is to meet someone, love them, and imagine what they are going to be like as your wonderful/ideal future husband/wife and parent of your children, instead of contemplating what kind of spouse and parent they are actually going to be. This template you've given gives a good framework for trying to extrapolate from the person you know (presumably unmarried without kids...) to how their personality will manifest in the future.
Arranged marriage: objective marriage based on fundamental aspects (the spouse is the parent of my children) Love marriage: subjective marriage based on attraction (the spouse is my companion/friend/lover) Ideal marriage: do both and Father is giving great tools to achieve this with intention
This is a great conversation tool! My husband and I enjoy things like this, they lead to great conversations and discovering new or deeper understanding of one another. Thank you. I can’t wait to show him this.
I like the idea that there are three main types of men and three main types of women and I’d like to argue that some men and women are a combination of the types. For instance, Mr. steady might have a set routine during the week, but may be more visionary and creative outside of work. Miss do-it-all may have a nurturing or artistic side. Perhaps the visionary or Mr. steady might have a little bit of commander in him. I think this was a wonderful video clip, and I loved how father was so succinct and clear in describing the different types of men and women.
Oh man, this spoke to me deeply. I really don't mean to be braggy about it but I feel like a Mr. Commander Man who jumped off the train. I want to be more Mr. Visionary man or Mr. Steady man but I'm not. I went to a federal military academy and was doing very well in my military career when I had a health problem while deployed to Afghanistan. I was discharged and treated disgracefully by my unit. I've been working in the private side and have rose to leadership levels but the corporate work is soul crushing to me. I know that I was supposed to be leading men in combat and that thought haunts me often. I've looked at police and fire but it's just not the same. Please pray for me brothers that I find the job situation that suits me.
I will pray for you. I had a similar outcome in my military career. It is not easy to find a replacement for a career suited for your personality. When you find what you're good at, you don't think there would ever be a reason to look further.
Have you considered the Prison Service? (I think you Americans call it "corrections" ) Over here as a Prison Officer, you're basically the jack of all trades. Firefighter, paramedic, councillor, mental health worker and adviser, riot squad/police, and mentor figure all rolled into one job. I'm not sure if it's similar in the states or something you would/could consider? If not you could always emigrate here, we're crying out for good staff!!
You’ve got to find that vision that is bigger than war. Then command men to achieve the objective. What can serve our country? Fixing our food supply. Fixing our health care. For example. Regenerative beef, alternative health care clinics etc.
My husband is a Commander man and I’m a nurturer. He pushes me towards the do it all qualities and encourages me to explore the artsy side of things so that I can be a bit more of a self starter. I feel very emotional most days, but God is using him to make me a more confident person by teaching me how to nurture his needs without forfeiting my own. I help him to listen and he helps me to use my voice. Having depression while he’s in medical school complicates things, but I challenge him to exercise patience while we work to build our future together. God is good and is growing us both - going through the fire is uncomfortable, but you come out stronger in the end.
I'm pretty sure my boyfriend and I are at our core Mr. Steady and Miss Nurturer (+ our individual personalities). I need stability in my life, I'd drive crazy if I didn't know what he's gonna do next, and he really loves my sensitivity and warmth💗
Love how practical this is! I’m definitely a visionary and can relate to our obsession of chasing after a mission or purpose (sometimes to the neglect of more mundane every day tasks that we deem unimportant and irrelevant😂) I realize women need familial stability as well as relational adventure- and even though I don’t yet have a girlfriend, I predict that navigating this can sometimes be overwhelming. If anything, I’ve seen that life is unpredictable for even the most consistent, reliable people and that what we probably need is a flexible spouse who is willing to go on this bumpy adventure with us…
Thank you Fr. I am a Catholic in Tennessee, but I feel like this video can be used for all young men searching for a true relationship, especially since many Gen Z people here like myself have seen our parents split or divorse over really dumb reasons. I appreciate it! Here's to a happy start to the new year and God bless you
I really feel like a mix of all of it, maybe currently in the artsy/nurterer role but pivoting increasingly to do-it-all as I grow older, married happily to strong visionary. We can get a little frustrated at where that doesnt match up perfectly, but in the end we love and respect each other so much, and most importantly we both treat each other with a lot of forgiveness. Id honestly say the #1 thing in keeping a marriage going once its there is being able to forgive each other easily. We know we both struggle here or there with different things, but none of it matters more than letting go and just loving each other and appreciating that mutual love/respect/forgiveness. Thank God for this blessed life he's given me!
I'm so happy finding this channel amid a very trying time in my life, also, but not only, caused by my past failed relationship, that i am convinced was salvageable, yet the "throw away instead of repairing" principle was too established in my partner, just like in most ppl around me. I am excited to work with ur wisdom ty & God bless!
Please talk more about combinations of these relationships and nuances you’ve noticed. The mysterious part is trying to vet the opposite sex during the “honeymoon” period of a relationship, to avoid bigger discrepancies later on.
After a lot of experience I think I can explain it simply. Find someone who is willing to admit to their wrong doing in any argument, wants to understand how they failed, comes up with a way to make it better, follows up on that issue, and checks in periodically on that problem. This works for both sexes. I believe this is absolutely vital for a healthy, lasting relationship that glorifies God. It is also extremely hard to find someone who will do this.
I'm definitely a Mr. Steady type. I recently broke up with a do it all woman and like you said, that type of person is not as physically or emotionally warm all the time. Now I know the type of person I want is a caregiver. I appreciate this video
By these demographics I’m an “Artsy Woman” lol ( I’m a 38 year old man, was always into and pursued music and art in various forms ) that has been me disabled brother’s carer for my whole life Explains why I’ve never dated, been in a relationship or had any real friends. The partying, social and drugs never appealed to me anyway since I value silence over loud nightclubs That’s why I’m taking up monastic life. I always thought I wanted to be married since I never got love from anyone ( including family and friends ) but I found in deep prayer I get all the love I ever need
I think masculinity and femininity traits are interchangeable in a person we carry a bit of both in actuality. It’s not gender specific. But energy specific. So if your the artsy energy, maybe you would want a woman who is miss steady
Thank you for this video! My biggest take-away was when you said that each personality type has both pro's and cons.So the thing you love about somebody is often also the thing that drives you mad as well! This helps me to take a more appreciative attitude towards my husband when he’s driving me crazy 😝
100%,when I was younger I didn't get the "opposites attract" saying,but as I got older I started understanding how a relationship/marriage should be,you should complement eachother, "the Ying to my Yang" sort of thing
This is not just helpful for marriage, but it's also helpful for understanding myself. Thanks! Also this explains women better as well(They can be confusing at times)
Great insights father. Was able to have a conversation and forgive me for my imagined shortcomings. I like how we can also apply this to other relationships too. I have a heavy leaning towards commandeering as well as visionary tendencies. This causes me to fleet up early, take responsibility for people, stay out late, and work on things that the majority would find useless. When it comes to relationships most women want me to “be home”. And if I were to concede with this I would be dishonoring the glory of god.
My biggest challenge is actually finding a man who wants to live according to the Orthodox faith - in my country. But I believe it is possible to find one who will accept to convert. I hope I can be a good wife!
@@belle.etrangere I know.. we are the minority... Must so called Orthodox people integrate with non-Orthodox, they assimilate. For Muslims or Roman-catholics it is much easier to marry. We true Orthodox are even within our societies a minority....
After reflecting on my life a bit, I would say that I am predominantly a Visionairy. All of how I was living out my life, viewing things, coming up with decision now makes sense after watching this video. Thanks a lot father Moses, your video really helped me to understand myself better and hopefully I can use this knowledge when it will come to creating a lifetime relationship🙏
This is a very interesting model Fr. Moses. Thank you for the enlightening content. To reference college, I'd be a Commander Man major with a Visionary minor, and I just barely passed Mr. Steady classes.
I hope people also take into account what percentage of these basics one can have. You may have all 3, but most likely at least 2. Some only 1. Is it 50/50? or 80/20?, or 50/25/25. A lot of these can be acquired trough life and life circumstances to some degree. Let the lord mold you.
@@thomasjames24306 I feel very very strange thinking about "I wonder if that church has any ladies my age" lol. And I don't think it would be good for us to visit different churches for that specific reason alone.... but at the same time, god intends for us to find someone, and I know I personally wont abuse anyone's heart, but its still strange lol. And imagine if you built a reputation! Going into a new church, and then all the fathers glare at you lol. The preacher suddenly switches their sermon to be about adultery lol. I live in a small town though, so it might be a bit different near cities with huge churches who have lots of young adults. I have family members who are young adults who have had success with things like christian dating websites. I have been considering this recently. The non-Christian dating apps are almost pointless for Christians unfortunately
Profound video father, may God keep us all, and may his mercy be upon us. I love this video, it's made me ponder inwardly on myself, and also putting clearly the type of partner I would love. I'm a Zambian and watch your videos from Zambia, I send love to you and your family.❤
Love the personality theory put into this. As well as admission that one of the reasons why marriages fail is because people get married without much thought as to marriage should look like. Me personally, I'm a visionary with a steady side, looking for a nurturing/artsy girl.
It's always a great video from Father Moses. I'd much rather get 1 great video per month that is well thought out and valuable than 30 videos per month that just repeat the same self improvement bullshit
Oh my god, you described me perfectly as a commander man going for an artsy women. You finally explained to me why I tend to gravitate toward artsy women but hate or don’t get along with do it all women. That’s amazing
Same here. I had a 2nd date with a woman just last night , we converse well and make each other laugh and she is beautiful, but I am religious, she is not, I want a family, she does not. Or maybe just not with me. Either way, I should break it off. We don't share the same vision on life.
I need someone roughly 50/50 nurture/do-it-all I need someone who is decently capable of helping me keep a household in order (I'm not chaotic myself, but I like to focus on work and working out and resting properly). But I also need warmth. My mom was very cold and abusive and I am extremely aware of the dark, empty hole that has left in my heart. I have a very hard time not filling that emotional void with addictions, when I am lonely.
You’re gonna have to focus on earning more so she’s able to be a SAHM/SAHW… working and doing all the house stuff is not fair on a wife’s end… especially if you guys have kids
Great conception! And your English is so clear and understndable. I'm not an English native speaker but I have understood almost every word! Thank you so much!!!
I Major in Visionary and Minor in Commander. Probably 70/30 split. My wife is super does everything! I think the key to a Visionary that is with a does everything is that He has to vision a great marriage with her. She needs to be his vision that he is striving for. What makes her happy and fulfilled and then get after it! Also keeping in mind that when your wife feels secure, happy, and loved God's greatness comes out in your marriage.
I'm definitely a visionary because I'm so talented in a few different things, but unfortunately it'll take some time for me to cultivate a following and make some real money. So on the side I'm Mr. Steady until I can pay the bills and buy what I want when I want with my vision. My girlfriend of 2 months who I really want to marry is a nurturer. She's the best with kids and she fully supports my vision. She wasn't born here in the West so she was brought up with traditional Chrisitan values. I think it's a great match! I'd love to be able to buy my dream home so I can give her a beautiful life one day.
@@anastasiya256 That's a very good question! So, the truth is that there are people like that everywhere, but it's harder to find them in certain places. For the past 2 and a half years I've been searching the globe online to find my wife. I've talked to many women from at least 20 different countries. In my experience, the standouts for traditional Christian women are Ukraine, Russia, most of Africa, the Philippines, and Mexico. My ideal wife is a Ukrainian, but unfortunately, a lot of those girls are willing to take the first man who offers them a plane ticket these days. My 2 best candidates were from Ethiopia and Mexico. Dating the Mexican was like dating a nun, I loved it! But unfortunately, she was 9 years older than me and I'm not ready for kids yet. My current girlfriend is from Ethiopia. She's not as spiritually advanced as the Mexican, but she's also 9 years younger and she's much more beautiful.
@@anastasiya256 Just to brag a bit about my current girlfriend from Ethiopia and how traditional she is, she agreed right away to be a housewife and adopt lots of kids. Her dream was to start an orphanage, but adopting 5 kids with me will be enough, she says. When I asked her what she would rather do between cleaning the dishes everyday or doing the laundry every week, this was her response: "Well, I can't let you do anything like that, those things are my responsibility!" In my head I was like, "you gotta be kidding me!" 😍
Hello Father! This is not a judgement on the validity of your teaching. I've watched your channel for some time now, and I am truly appreciative that you share these thoughts with us. I am a rather young Orthodox Christian man so more than likely my view on things is not nearly as nuanced or well developed. As I'm watching this, I have the same thought that I have whenever I watch videos pertaining to marriage, dating, ETC. For some reason, whenever I watch these, I can't help but feel that my innocent and simple-hearted view of marriage is being discounted. Obviously life is no fairy tale, and there are real considerations that one ought to make when choosing a partner, however I get that nagging feeling that, in putting every man or woman into certain categories, I'm adopting a cynical, worldly view of something God created to be a great and wonderful mystery. I feel like it's being likened unto buying a car. One car has this set of pros and cons, the other has this set of pros and cons, but you better choose the right one, but only for the following reason: "Hey, this is what you're gonna be driving in". Are we not more complex than this? Is it not much more nuanced in faith and love than this? The generations of families before me didn't consider these things, and yet their marriages were almost exemplary. They knew to approach the mystery with love, innocence, self-sacrifice, and honor, and really didn't consider much else. To continue, I'm also thinking that perhaps these categories of men and women conform to a more inflexible model. If I had to follow the model you shared, I could see myself being Mr. Steady. I work, and endeavor to be good at my job, so that I can achieve my ultimate goal of getting married and having a successful, prayerful family. My aspirations don't go far beyond that. Now that being said, I find myself being romantic. I have a profound appreciation for the arts, literature, and the old conventions of romance, chivalry, and philotimo. This influences who I am greatly, and perhaps explains my disposition. Does this make me more of a visionary? Is this my minor? Perhaps a feminine trait? I suppose the point I'm getting at is: Should we teach people to expect one thing or the other from these prescribed categories of people, when in actuality people are much more complex? I guess you never know how much about life is true until you've lived it, so I'm in no way trying to say you're incorrect in your teaching Father, but I also wonder: If we don't at least express the more divine and complex parts of the mystery, as well as the more complex parts of people, will this cause young men and women to become cynics, and neglect the intense beauty of this God given institution? Thank you for reading!
I totally get what you’re saying! As an artistic woman who loves variety and nuance, the older I get the more I see patterns. That doesn’t discount each person’s very unique personality and giftings. I think that’s where the fun of dating and then marriage comes in, because your marriage truly won’t be like anyone else’s. But going into marriage, I’ve benefited a ton from having more relatives expectations from people who might fall into one box more than others. I wouldn’t want to marry a Mr Steady and then be bitter he wasn’t taking me on wild adventures every quarter. Not would I want to be with someone who thought I would be steady and consistent for their own inconsistent/adventurous manner 😅 Hope that helps.
I think it's a stage in life thing. When you look at your mother's wedding ring, you look at it in awe, aware of its symbolism. But when you get ready to buy an engagement ring, you need to know the nitty gritty details of carats and different kinds of gold, their prices and different qualities, and ring sizing. You don't have to know how rings are sized to appreciate the value of them as symbols, but when it comes time to buy one you'll need to know if her fingers are a size 5 or 6 or what.
Very interesting concept. I've prayed for God to show me my wife, He showed me in a dream which later on was fulfilled, and I think she is a good fit to me. I'm now praying He will show me to her as well 😊At least this scheme explains why past relationships didn't work out. I think while all where in nurturing jobs, as personalities they were in the Artsy/Do It All categories. I'm more of the Mr. Visionary man (maybe partly Commander), who is broke, and has chaos so the Do It All girlfriend couldn't handle me - Too much chaos! The Artsy one was also chaotic, so that was more of the same problems. Finally I'll hope that my future wife is more of the Nurturing side while I can appreciate some creativity as a Freelance Designer myself. I would say it's a honest straightforward talk and the nail on its head. If allowed I will use this model for other single friends 😇
Great insights. Most of my life I’ve been trying to force myself to be a Mr steady when in practice I’m more of a visionary type. When I look at the example of my father and the other men who raised me there are a lot of entrepreneurs, artists, poets, etc.
Thank you father, this video was very helpful. I'm a visionary kind of guy and, yeah, I'm currently lacking on stability... and money. But it's true that I'm also very romantic and loving. This model is very efficient at helping me understand my strenghts and weaknesses and figuring out what kind of woman I need to marry
"You just don't need a lot of commander men in society" Right, but most the ones who should be in commanding roles currently are not. Go into any workplace in America right now and you'll see exactly what I'm talking about.
Thank you so much for this! Most Orthodox dating advice is directed only at men; I am happy to see something that speaks to both genders. On the content itself I can't comment much yet, I will need some time to reflect on it and let it sink in.
Just easily summarized what others try to say in incomprehensible language thousands of times over! Wish I would've seen this at 21 before I got married. 😅
Father Moses you might be interested in personality theories such as MBTI , Enneagram, and Socianics ( Russian version of MBTI and I personally find more robust and accurate). The “types” you mentioned are common archetypes of these systems. ISTJ is a common personality that can be described as the “Mr. Steady”. While ENTJ is “the commander” and as you said is more rare. ESFJ (nurturer) is the most feminine and common personality for females. Whereas INFP is going to be the artist/visionary. I will say if you’re coming up with theories like this you are definitely an intuitive type-1 in 4 are intuitive types. I find these theories very accurate. I’m an INTP, type 4 on Enneagram, which happens to be likely to dive into this rabbit hole.
@@fathermosesmcpherson ah yes it’s a difficult system to convey! Your condensed version gives people enough. ESTJ, that’s oriented towards management. Interesting. Not many sensor types dive into theory world like this so I’m a little suspicious of your typing… forgive me if that’s prideful sounding 🙏 My roommate an (INFJ) and I love your videos. We are both single females in our 30’s desiring children and husbands. We went to a local church and the priest there said “there are a ton of men coming in but there is only one I would say is marriage ready”. He said there are more women ready for marriage. It is a disheartening situation but one that you seem to be helping in. I think the rotten fruits of fornication and participating in the spirit of infidelity via pornography are raining down hard on our generation. Many men in our generation seem to be taken over by pornography addictions and it has detrimental effects of how they relate to women and how they value women. Many modern men are adopting the princess “chase me” syndrome and it’s very unnatractive. And generally narcissism is at an all time high. Both my roommate and I are intuituve and of the sensitive nature and feel unsafe around most modern men. It is refreshing to hear a Father address these issues. Thank you for your wisdom and hard work Father.
@@ElonMuskrat-my8jy The test is very accurate but I’d argue you’d have to really dive in to use it or understand it and possibly have to have certain cognitive functions to use it accurately. It’s generally not something sensor personalities get into. You go to an intuitive personality meetup and it’s all theory talk. Oftentimes it’s crickets when an intuitive personality attempts to talk theory to a sensor… not because I think they are rude it just isn’t something they generally are interested in.
Many comments show a lack of understanding Orthodox Marriage. People keep thinking secular materialistic marriage and applying its consequences to an Orthodox marriage. Father perhaps a video distinguishing between the two would be good? Sacrifice vs pleasure, love vs lust, material wealth vs spiritual wealth. Carrying each other's cross, refining each other's flaws and enhancing each other's strengths. I think people today don't know what marriage is which is why many believe in eternal dating or rejection of women and simultaneously monastic life. Many men viewing single life and marriage through materialism. "How does it effect my possessions"
@neil55851217 You are misunderstanding my comment so I'll elaborate more to help clarify. By secular marriage I don't mean legal/by the books per government law. I am referring to the individual mentality of the two people involved. A couple can be Orthodox in name and married in a Orthodox parish yet mentally have a worldview that is not Orthodox. So they have misconceptions about what marriage is and their role in it. I know of a priest who mentioned so many couples he talks to admit they don't even pray for each other and view that as something only clergy and monks do.
It not just about your "stuff" - ( But I really don't want to live out of my car either) the worst part it's about the kids, and ex-husband will drop thousands in court sometimes just to have modem of shared custody. - Because the wife usually will get custody 90% of the time ( she would almost have be crack addict not to) there are some men that don't see their kids for month as the wife pursues divorce, and in most case than its every other week at best for the ex- H.
Father, could you do a video on infidelity/adultery? My wife recently betrayed our marriage and I have been deeply struggling with it. She fell to temptations through social media. I don’t believe in divorce because it breaks our covenant with God. We are working on fixing the damage but it is really hard with the pain I have.
Really sorry to hear that, mate. It might be worth reflecting on potential causes beyond external factors like the Internet. Focus on yourself rather than overanalysing her behaviour. The covenant has already been broken, so you’re free to make choices that are best for you. Perhaps it’s codependency, rather than God’s covenant, that’s keeping you in this relationship.
@@JurgenLoschfer and i am a steady who wants to improvise xD. jokes aside i belive we are perfect just the way we are. if i learned something there were times in my life where i needed to be a steady and times i needed to be a visionary. i kind of screw them up by mixing them up but I've learned and grew from the experiences. maybe you believe you are an annoying commander because you are commanding the wrong people or in the wrong situations?
I recognize I’m a visionary man now. I plan on getting married and having kids. I know God made me like this for a reason. So should I just stick to one thing and follow it through? Because I do have a lot of things going on and plans.
Orthodox Jews get married based on shared vision. They figure out within weeks if they are getting married or not. But yeah, I have seen that the marriages that succeed are the ones where men and women want the same life.
I was a Mr. Steady she was an artsy gal ...it was never gonna work 😢...she left me for an ex ( commander man ( boxer)) ...sidenote some times he boxed her
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I pray you get a NEW MICROPHONE!!!! Its hard to hear you on my phone. Plz upgrade your mic... i pray!
@@rgomez6182 it sounds fine
@@coleharrell9015 1 Corinthians 4:15
Even if you had ten thousand guardians in Christ, you do not have many fathers, for in Christ Jesus I became your father through the gospel.
www.oca.org/reflections/fr.-lawrence-farley/call-no-man-father
What does the new picture on the top of the channel page mean? Why so many skulls? It looks kinda creepy.
I love these Clickbait titles, they get me every time. I’m a woman, but I am so grateful for this channel, it’s messages are so needed for the men of today. Andrew Tate and Jordan Peterson simply are not cutting it. They are good bridges to the truth, but they are not the truth. Jesus Christ is the truth.
Based woman
Why do you enjoy clickbait? Clickbait is lying. Why do you love that a priest lies?
@@youcantbeatk7006 Weird comment. There is nothing untrue about the title, Clickbait doesn’t insinuate or necessitate that there is lying, it is a string of words that pulls you in to click in a creative way utilizing psychology.
Thank you for the kind words, and for supporting the channel. :)
@@OrthodoxChristianArticles The video isn't even about finding a spouse, it's about the roles of a man and a woman once they're already together.
This is really great. My husband is definitely a Mr. Steady and I am Artsy.
It works very well. He is dependable and yes, predictable. I bring some fun to the table and also provide, as you mentioned, some nurturing. We have both learned from each other, how to take care of the other and what is important to the other. I keep house better than I used to because I know it helps him. He is more open to adventure and taking chances than he used to be. We have five beautiful, challenging and wonderful kids together.
I think Im artsy so I definitely need a mr steady
Samesies😊
I regret getting married. Now I’m stuck and have to honor my commitment. I got a girl pregnant and wanted to make things right. It’s a consequence of my sin. Remember friends, deny your flesh, avoid sin. They have lasting consequences you have to man up and carry. And if you must marry because of your burning desires please be wise in your selection. Pray for me, friends.
Pray for the fruit of your marriage to bloom. God will be happy to use this for good. Don’t harden your heart to only do this out of obligation. Find a way to love her like Christ loved you.
Nothing is impossible with God. Keep trusting Him and He will help you through it by the power of His Spirit. Praying the grace and blessing of God over you and your family.
@@cryptoboosting1888 always. That is my primary focus. I think about how we’re hard to love sometimes yet Jesus remains steadfast in his love for us.
@@JuneHeffer thank you friend.
I agree with the first comment. Learn to love your wife unless she's unfaithful or violent, any other thing can be overlooked by practing love as a husband, unless you are operating by worldly standards, nothing can't be fixed
I’m a do it all woman with a nurturing side, and my husband is a visionary with a steady side. We suit each other very well!
Thank God for good marriages
@@fujikokun yes as long as you wear the pants
@@normadaly7506 Well, God knows everything anyway, according to Christians, he is omnipotent, all powerful and also all knowing, if he's already chosen your fate, it would work anyway, and God's already seen your whole lifespan, in one flash.
It’s very apparent that these kinds of teaching should be coming from sources of spiritual authority MORE THAN EVER BEFORE! Some of these comments reveal the true mindset of men and women alike. It’s a sad state, but now we all have the opportunity to change in the way that God calls all mankind to! Thank you Fr. Moses!🖤☦️
Very worthy observation. Thank you for pointing that out ... I was shocked by some of the comments I saw too, especially if the person claims to be a person of faith. But God is good in redirecting paths when in error. Praise God for grace and mercy, as well as His continued faithfulness.
Never take advice from an unmarried person
@@fosterlanham1379 Fr. Moses is married with multiple children
Floundering visionary here, and I have had many adventures, but I’m glad to see that I’m not totally defective. I’d love to see some more breakdowns of weaknesses and strengths for these types!
Thank you 🙏 this is great stuff!
I struggled for most my adulthood until I got into my high income career which I absolutely love and is a perfect fit for me. Looking back, I wonder why I didn't do this years ago. And it came from doing something a little bit different, which made all the difference in the world. I believe lots of people struggle because they're fundamentally doing the wrong thing for them, and, I would guess you already know what you'd rather be doing, and most importantly, why you haven't taken the steps to do so. Remember, God will help you the whole way. I encourage you to do so and hope you follow through with your dreams. An honest desire in our hearts is God's proof to us that we can take the steps to get there. We just gotta get out of our own way.
Please pray for my girlfriend and I! We are very happy and healthy together, looking forward to continuing to spend time with each other for the end goal of marriage. Having someone by your side who shares your vision really does make things so much easier.
Amen!
happy for you brother
God bless you and your girlfriend brother
God bless! Flee sexual immorality, keep yourselves for that day of marriage that you mutually love each other is what is important.
Shared vision is SO important!
You called out my dad with the visionary type, he's always on the move always working towards something but he's been broke and financially unstable throughout most of my childhood and now (He used to be financially stable when he was doing life like Mr.Steady lol) Love ya dad 😂
Before I got married my father told me that the things I liked most about my husband would be the things that drove me crazy later. He was right . We learned to keep things in perspective and to love each other as we were . I think that what has kept my marriage together for 40 years is that we prioritized our marriage over anything else. Our relationship was the foundation of our family. So you could say that we shared the same vision.
I’m definitely a nurturer married to a commander man. Our life’s work through our marriage has definitely been to soften his heart while strengthening mine. Our saving grace has been our shared vision - our faith, our children’s formation, and our commitment to the vocation of matrimony. If it were not for the Hand of God through those things we would have NO hope, lol. We are just way too different. Definitely made for an exciting courtship though!
I really appreciate your humor in how you worded this. The same relationship dynamic could be perceived wuldly different from another person, or from a person in a different stage of their relationship.
It's easy to get hung up on what DOESN'T work. Thanks for focusing on what DOES work, and giving the perspective of "excitement " instead of turbulence. 🤗
Thank God for the wisdom He gave ye
Man, you cut across a spectrum of humanity that I didn't even see before... Thank you for sharing this wisdom, father!
I’m definitely a do-it-all woman looking for my Mr. Steady. I don’t want any more chaos in my life when it comes to men. I really value order and discipline and I want someone who can act that out with me in our lives
‘Each strength has a corresponding weakness”--is a very true and important thing to keep,in mind.
I don’t know how in the world this ended up in my suggested videos, but you nailed it like no one else ever has. All these other relationship experts cannot hold a candle to you.
Well he is a priest, you'd expect his knowledge and wisdom, to be far higher than your average relationship expert.
Solid starting place. Thank you. I think an easy mistake is to meet someone, love them, and imagine what they are going to be like as your wonderful/ideal future husband/wife and parent of your children, instead of contemplating what kind of spouse and parent they are actually going to be. This template you've given gives a good framework for trying to extrapolate from the person you know (presumably unmarried without kids...) to how their personality will manifest in the future.
Arranged marriage: objective marriage based on fundamental aspects (the spouse is the parent of my children)
Love marriage: subjective marriage based on attraction (the spouse is my companion/friend/lover)
Ideal marriage: do both and Father is giving great tools to achieve this with intention
I watched this twice. I absolutely love the way you break it down so each gender can see themselves. Thank you
As a mister steady with an artsy woman, I can tell you, I am her rock, and she is my spark.
Oh yeah, the dashboard is back for this one ! God bless you Father Moses.
This is a great conversation tool! My husband and I enjoy things like this, they lead to great conversations and discovering new or deeper understanding of one another. Thank you. I can’t wait to show him this.
I like the idea that there are three main types of men and three main types of women and I’d like to argue that some men and women are a combination of the types.
For instance, Mr. steady might have a set routine during the week, but may be more visionary and creative outside of work.
Miss do-it-all may have a nurturing or artistic side.
Perhaps the visionary or Mr. steady might have a little bit of commander in him.
I think this was a wonderful video clip, and I loved how father was so succinct and clear in describing the different types of men and women.
Yeah, this is awesome man, thank you. I pray God continues to bless you, your family and your ministry
Oh man, this spoke to me deeply. I really don't mean to be braggy about it but I feel like a Mr. Commander Man who jumped off the train. I want to be more Mr. Visionary man or Mr. Steady man but I'm not. I went to a federal military academy and was doing very well in my military career when I had a health problem while deployed to Afghanistan. I was discharged and treated disgracefully by my unit. I've been working in the private side and have rose to leadership levels but the corporate work is soul crushing to me. I know that I was supposed to be leading men in combat and that thought haunts me often. I've looked at police and fire but it's just not the same. Please pray for me brothers that I find the job situation that suits me.
Sometimes, biggest fights doesn't involve bullets..
I will pray for you. I had a similar outcome in my military career. It is not easy to find a replacement for a career suited for your personality. When you find what you're good at, you don't think there would ever be a reason to look further.
Spiritual combat it is then. Time to start looking at the priesthood I guess.
Have you considered the Prison Service? (I think you Americans call it "corrections" )
Over here as a Prison Officer, you're basically the jack of all trades. Firefighter, paramedic, councillor, mental health worker and adviser, riot squad/police, and mentor figure all rolled into one job.
I'm not sure if it's similar in the states or something you would/could consider? If not you could always emigrate here, we're crying out for good staff!!
You’ve got to find that vision that is bigger than war.
Then command men to achieve the objective.
What can serve our country?
Fixing our food supply.
Fixing our health care.
For example. Regenerative beef, alternative health care clinics etc.
My husband is a Commander man and I’m a nurturer. He pushes me towards the do it all qualities and encourages me to explore the artsy side of things so that I can be a bit more of a self starter. I feel very emotional most days, but God is using him to make me a more confident person by teaching me how to nurture his needs without forfeiting my own. I help him to listen and he helps me to use my voice. Having depression while he’s in medical school complicates things, but I challenge him to exercise patience while we work to build our future together. God is good and is growing us both - going through the fire is uncomfortable, but you come out stronger in the end.
I'm pretty sure my boyfriend and I are at our core Mr. Steady and Miss Nurturer (+ our individual personalities). I need stability in my life, I'd drive crazy if I didn't know what he's gonna do next, and he really loves my sensitivity and warmth💗
Mr. Steady is just a chill guy
Love how practical this is!
I’m definitely a visionary and can relate to our obsession of chasing after a mission or purpose (sometimes to the neglect of more mundane every day tasks that we deem unimportant and irrelevant😂)
I realize women need familial stability as well as relational adventure- and even though I don’t yet have a girlfriend, I predict that navigating this can sometimes be overwhelming.
If anything, I’ve seen that life is unpredictable for even the most consistent, reliable people and that what we probably need is a flexible spouse who is willing to go on this bumpy adventure with us…
Thank you Fr. I am a Catholic in Tennessee, but I feel like this video can be used for all young men searching for a true relationship, especially since many Gen Z people here like myself have seen our parents split or divorse over really dumb reasons. I appreciate it! Here's to a happy start to the new year and God bless you
I really feel like a mix of all of it, maybe currently in the artsy/nurterer role but pivoting increasingly to do-it-all as I grow older, married happily to strong visionary. We can get a little frustrated at where that doesnt match up perfectly, but in the end we love and respect each other so much, and most importantly we both treat each other with a lot of forgiveness. Id honestly say the #1 thing in keeping a marriage going once its there is being able to forgive each other easily. We know we both struggle here or there with different things, but none of it matters more than letting go and just loving each other and appreciating that mutual love/respect/forgiveness. Thank God for this blessed life he's given me!
I'm so happy finding this channel amid a very trying time in my life, also, but not only, caused by my past failed relationship, that i am convinced was salvageable, yet the "throw away instead of repairing" principle was too established in my partner, just like in most ppl around me. I am excited to work with ur wisdom ty & God bless!
The guy just solved relationships
LOL, not quite.
Just one of the best videos I have ever seen.
It takes a big mind and a big heart to understand so many different people.
Best regards from Brazil!
Please talk more about combinations of these relationships and nuances you’ve noticed. The mysterious part is trying to vet the opposite sex during the “honeymoon” period of a relationship, to avoid bigger discrepancies later on.
After a lot of experience I think I can explain it simply. Find someone who is willing to admit to their wrong doing in any argument, wants to understand how they failed, comes up with a way to make it better, follows up on that issue, and checks in periodically on that problem. This works for both sexes.
I believe this is absolutely vital for a healthy, lasting relationship that glorifies God. It is also extremely hard to find someone who will do this.
I’m an artsy/nurturer with a successful commander/visionary. We are definitely opposites yet we complement one another well.
I'm definitely a Mr. Steady type. I recently broke up with a do it all woman and like you said, that type of person is not as physically or emotionally warm all the time. Now I know the type of person I want is a caregiver. I appreciate this video
This is brilliant and easy to understand. Perfect for visual learners!
By these demographics I’m an “Artsy Woman” lol ( I’m a 38 year old man, was always into and pursued music and art in various forms ) that has been me disabled brother’s carer for my whole life
Explains why I’ve never dated, been in a relationship or had any real friends. The partying, social and drugs never appealed to me anyway since I value silence over loud nightclubs
That’s why I’m taking up monastic life. I always thought I wanted to be married since I never got love from anyone ( including family and friends ) but I found in deep prayer I get all the love I ever need
Good point, in some mostly exceptional cases these personalities to some extent will be in the opposite sex people.
I think masculinity and femininity traits are interchangeable in a person we carry a bit of both in actuality. It’s not gender specific. But energy specific. So if your the artsy energy, maybe you would want a woman who is miss steady
My Husband is a Union electrician and definitely Mr. Steady. I’m a SAHM and a nurturer. ❤
Thank you for this video! My biggest take-away was when you said that each personality type has both pro's and cons.So the thing you love about somebody is often also the thing that drives you mad as well! This helps me to take a more appreciative attitude towards my husband when he’s driving me crazy 😝
100%,when I was younger I didn't get the "opposites attract" saying,but as I got older I started understanding how a relationship/marriage should be,you should complement eachother, "the Ying to my Yang" sort of thing
My mom was definitely the “Do it all” type of woman. It’s funny how well this guy described those types of women very well
This is not just helpful for marriage, but it's also helpful for understanding myself. Thanks! Also this explains women better as well(They can be confusing at times)
Thank you for this insight. This helped me understand men and dating a bit better, and helped me realize I’m a nurturer, looking for my Mr. Steady.
Great insights father. Was able to have a conversation and forgive me for my imagined shortcomings. I like how we can also apply this to other relationships too. I have a heavy leaning towards commandeering as well as visionary tendencies. This causes me to fleet up early, take responsibility for people, stay out late, and work on things that the majority would find useless. When it comes to relationships most women want me to “be home”. And if I were to concede with this I would be dishonoring the glory of god.
This is extremely helpful. Thank you Father.
My biggest challenge is actually finding a man who wants to live according to the Orthodox faith - in my country. But I believe it is possible to find one who will accept to convert. I hope I can be a good wife!
Which country is that?
I have the same problem with finding a wife who wants to live in accordance with Orthodoxy.
@@kingarthur1217 Brazil
@@JurgenLoschfer it's a big deal in non-orthodox countries
@@belle.etrangere I know.. we are the minority... Must so called Orthodox people integrate with non-Orthodox, they assimilate. For Muslims or Roman-catholics it is much easier to marry. We true Orthodox are even within our societies a minority....
After reflecting on my life a bit, I would say that I am predominantly a Visionairy. All of how I was living out my life, viewing things, coming up with decision now makes sense after watching this video. Thanks a lot father Moses, your video really helped me to understand myself better and hopefully I can use this knowledge when it will come to creating a lifetime relationship🙏
This is a very interesting model Fr. Moses. Thank you for the enlightening content. To reference college, I'd be a Commander Man major with a Visionary minor, and I just barely passed Mr. Steady classes.
Wouldn’t all commander men need to be a visionary also?
"Commander Man" and yet tranime profile picture and name. Check yourself out.
@@titusflaviusvespasian5923 God bless you.
@titusflaviusvespasian5923
I guess you think you're the exception to what Jesus said and it's fine for you to judge others?
@@jesh879 Yes.
This is so beautiful! Thank you so much for sharing this and breaking it down in an understandable yet profound way! Blessings to you :-)
I hope people also take into account what percentage of these basics one can have. You may have all 3, but most likely at least 2. Some only 1. Is it 50/50? or 80/20?, or 50/25/25. A lot of these can be acquired trough life and life circumstances to some degree. Let the lord mold you.
This 100%. I think the major and two minor personality traits is the way to look at it. It’s more of a 60/30/10 split for me
Well said
🤣👍You gotta admit. This was a funny one. ...But Great presentation as always Boss man.👍
A video that would be cool to get your take on, would be one on Christian “dating”
Yea I have no idea where to look. Not a single young woman my age in church.
There's no such thing as Christian dating. Dating did not exist when the Bible was written.
@@thomasjames24306 I feel very very strange thinking about "I wonder if that church has any ladies my age" lol. And I don't think it would be good for us to visit different churches for that specific reason alone.... but at the same time, god intends for us to find someone, and I know I personally wont abuse anyone's heart, but its still strange lol.
And imagine if you built a reputation! Going into a new church, and then all the fathers glare at you lol. The preacher suddenly switches their sermon to be about adultery lol. I live in a small town though, so it might be a bit different near cities with huge churches who have lots of young adults.
I have family members who are young adults who have had success with things like christian dating websites. I have been considering this recently.
The non-Christian dating apps are almost pointless for Christians unfortunately
@@RoosterNutz12things change.
@@Daniel-vc1oc God doesn't intend most of us to find something. It's physically impossible.
Profound video father, may God keep us all, and may his mercy be upon us.
I love this video, it's made me ponder inwardly on myself, and also putting clearly the type of partner I would love.
I'm a Zambian and watch your videos from Zambia, I send love to you and your family.❤
Father Moses you should write a book on this topic it is absolutely fascinating
Thank you!! Excellent advice for both men and women. 👍
Love yourt videos Father thank you for your time and effort!
Thanks brother!
@@shaynesmithcomedy NO WAY! So cool seeing you here bro!!
Love the personality theory put into this. As well as admission that one of the reasons why marriages fail is because people get married without much thought as to marriage should look like. Me personally, I'm a visionary with a steady side, looking for a nurturing/artsy girl.
It's always a great video from Father Moses. I'd much rather get 1 great video per month that is well thought out and valuable than 30 videos per month that just repeat the same self improvement bullshit
Excellent topic. Thank you immensely. I love ❤️ when a topic is broken down to its basic important, relevant, yet practical components.
This man is more of a masculine Christian man than anyone else I’ve seen online🤝
Oh my god, you described me perfectly as a commander man going for an artsy women. You finally explained to me why I tend to gravitate toward artsy women but hate or don’t get along with do it all women. That’s amazing
this video literally came in the perfect moment in my life, love you
amen to this bro
Same here.
I had a 2nd date with a woman just last night , we converse well and make each other laugh and she is beautiful, but I am religious, she is not, I want a family, she does not. Or maybe just not with me. Either way, I should break it off.
We don't share the same vision on life.
@@anthony1776diaz you can talk with her on considering it. I am in similar situation only I am not dating the woman yet.
Quickest 15 minute video I've ever watch. Subscribed!
I need someone roughly 50/50 nurture/do-it-all
I need someone who is decently capable of helping me keep a household in order (I'm not chaotic myself, but I like to focus on work and working out and resting properly).
But I also need warmth. My mom was very cold and abusive and I am extremely aware of the dark, empty hole that has left in my heart.
I have a very hard time not filling that emotional void with addictions, when I am lonely.
You’re gonna have to focus on earning more so she’s able to be a SAHM/SAHW… working and doing all the house stuff is not fair on a wife’s end… especially if you guys have kids
@lynnnduhhx0 uh, duuh captain obvious
Why you think I'm going into the software industry?
God sent video !!! The Young generation is starving for information like these !
Bless you Father for your work!
Great conception!
And your English is so clear and understndable. I'm not an English native speaker but I have understood almost every word! Thank you so much!!!
They should teach subjects like this in school for young teenagers
Ha. Mr. Visionary completely describes me. Good video. I think you nailed the categories
I Major in Visionary and Minor in Commander. Probably 70/30 split.
My wife is super does everything!
I think the key to a Visionary that is with a does everything is that He has to vision a great marriage with her. She needs to be his vision that he is striving for. What makes her happy and fulfilled and then get after it! Also keeping in mind that when your wife feels secure, happy, and loved God's greatness comes out in your marriage.
What a great video! Thank you father for sharing your knowledge & wisdom 🙏🏻😊
I'm definitely a visionary because I'm so talented in a few different things, but unfortunately it'll take some time for me to cultivate a following and make some real money. So on the side I'm Mr. Steady until I can pay the bills and buy what I want when I want with my vision. My girlfriend of 2 months who I really want to marry is a nurturer. She's the best with kids and she fully supports my vision. She wasn't born here in the West so she was brought up with traditional Chrisitan values. I think it's a great match! I'd love to be able to buy my dream home so I can give her a beautiful life one day.
😮 where are people actually raised with traditional Christian values?
@@anastasiya256middle east
@@anastasiya256 That's a very good question! So, the truth is that there are people like that everywhere, but it's harder to find them in certain places. For the past 2 and a half years I've been searching the globe online to find my wife. I've talked to many women from at least 20 different countries. In my experience, the standouts for traditional Christian women are Ukraine, Russia, most of Africa, the Philippines, and Mexico. My ideal wife is a Ukrainian, but unfortunately, a lot of those girls are willing to take the first man who offers them a plane ticket these days. My 2 best candidates were from Ethiopia and Mexico. Dating the Mexican was like dating a nun, I loved it! But unfortunately, she was 9 years older than me and I'm not ready for kids yet. My current girlfriend is from Ethiopia. She's not as spiritually advanced as the Mexican, but she's also 9 years younger and she's much more beautiful.
@@anastasiya256 Just to brag a bit about my current girlfriend from Ethiopia and how traditional she is, she agreed right away to be a housewife and adopt lots of kids. Her dream was to start an orphanage, but adopting 5 kids with me will be enough, she says. When I asked her what she would rather do between cleaning the dishes everyday or doing the laundry every week, this was her response: "Well, I can't let you do anything like that, those things are my responsibility!" In my head I was like, "you gotta be kidding me!" 😍
A very apt model! I really enjoyed this and I agree with it. Thank you.
Hello Father!
This is not a judgement on the validity of your teaching. I've watched your channel for some time now, and I am truly appreciative that you share these thoughts with us. I am a rather young Orthodox Christian man so more than likely my view on things is not nearly as nuanced or well developed.
As I'm watching this, I have the same thought that I have whenever I watch videos pertaining to marriage, dating, ETC. For some reason, whenever I watch these, I can't help but feel that my innocent and simple-hearted view of marriage is being discounted. Obviously life is no fairy tale, and there are real considerations that one ought to make when choosing a partner, however I get that nagging feeling that, in putting every man or woman into certain categories, I'm adopting a cynical, worldly view of something God created to be a great and wonderful mystery. I feel like it's being likened unto buying a car. One car has this set of pros and cons, the other has this set of pros and cons, but you better choose the right one, but only for the following reason: "Hey, this is what you're gonna be driving in". Are we not more complex than this? Is it not much more nuanced in faith and love than this? The generations of families before me didn't consider these things, and yet their marriages were almost exemplary. They knew to approach the mystery with love, innocence, self-sacrifice, and honor, and really didn't consider much else.
To continue, I'm also thinking that perhaps these categories of men and women conform to a more inflexible model. If I had to follow the model you shared, I could see myself being Mr. Steady. I work, and endeavor to be good at my job, so that I can achieve my ultimate goal of getting married and having a successful, prayerful family. My aspirations don't go far beyond that. Now that being said, I find myself being romantic. I have a profound appreciation for the arts, literature, and the old conventions of romance, chivalry, and philotimo. This influences who I am greatly, and perhaps explains my disposition. Does this make me more of a visionary? Is this my minor? Perhaps a feminine trait? I suppose the point I'm getting at is: Should we teach people to expect one thing or the other from these prescribed categories of people, when in actuality people are much more complex?
I guess you never know how much about life is true until you've lived it, so I'm in no way trying to say you're incorrect in your teaching Father, but I also wonder: If we don't at least express the more divine and complex parts of the mystery, as well as the more complex parts of people, will this cause young men and women to become cynics, and neglect the intense beauty of this God given institution?
Thank you for reading!
I totally get what you’re saying! As an artistic woman who loves variety and nuance, the older I get the more I see patterns. That doesn’t discount each person’s very unique personality and giftings. I think that’s where the fun of dating and then marriage comes in, because your marriage truly won’t be like anyone else’s. But going into marriage, I’ve benefited a ton from having more relatives expectations from people who might fall into one box more than others. I wouldn’t want to marry a Mr Steady and then be bitter he wasn’t taking me on wild adventures every quarter. Not would I want to be with someone who thought I would be steady and consistent for their own inconsistent/adventurous manner 😅 Hope that helps.
*realistic not relatives
I think it's a stage in life thing. When you look at your mother's wedding ring, you look at it in awe, aware of its symbolism. But when you get ready to buy an engagement ring, you need to know the nitty gritty details of carats and different kinds of gold, their prices and different qualities, and ring sizing. You don't have to know how rings are sized to appreciate the value of them as symbols, but when it comes time to buy one you'll need to know if her fingers are a size 5 or 6 or what.
Great breakdown, nice and straightforward. Thank you! God bless you!
Very interesting concept. I've prayed for God to show me my wife, He showed me in a dream which later on was fulfilled, and I think she is a good fit to me. I'm now praying He will show me to her as well 😊At least this scheme explains why past relationships didn't work out. I think while all where in nurturing jobs, as personalities they were in the Artsy/Do It All categories. I'm more of the Mr. Visionary man (maybe partly Commander), who is broke, and has chaos so the Do It All girlfriend couldn't handle me - Too much chaos! The Artsy one was also chaotic, so that was more of the same problems. Finally I'll hope that my future wife is more of the Nurturing side while I can appreciate some creativity as a Freelance Designer myself. I would say it's a honest straightforward talk and the nail on its head. If allowed I will use this model for other single friends 😇
Great insights. Most of my life I’ve been trying to force myself to be a Mr steady when in practice I’m more of a visionary type. When I look at the example of my father and the other men who raised me there are a lot of entrepreneurs, artists, poets, etc.
Debi Pearl has a very similar take on this. Her book is called "Created to be His Help Meet"
Thank you father, this video was very helpful.
I'm a visionary kind of guy and, yeah, I'm currently lacking on stability... and money. But it's true that I'm also very romantic and loving.
This model is very efficient at helping me understand my strenghts and weaknesses and figuring out what kind of woman I need to marry
"You just don't need a lot of commander men in society" Right, but most the ones who should be in commanding roles currently are not. Go into any workplace in America right now and you'll see exactly what I'm talking about.
Please do more on similar topic and/or part 2/3/4 this is an important topic. Thank you for the videos Father Moses.
Thank you so much for this! Most Orthodox dating advice is directed only at men; I am happy to see something that speaks to both genders. On the content itself I can't comment much yet, I will need some time to reflect on it and let it sink in.
Just easily summarized what others try to say in incomprehensible language thousands of times over! Wish I would've seen this at 21 before I got married. 😅
Father Moses you might be interested in personality theories such as MBTI , Enneagram, and Socianics ( Russian version of MBTI and I personally find more robust and accurate). The “types” you mentioned are common archetypes of these systems.
ISTJ is a common personality that can be described as the “Mr. Steady”. While ENTJ is “the commander” and as you said is more rare.
ESFJ (nurturer) is the most feminine and common personality for females.
Whereas INFP is going to be the artist/visionary.
I will say if you’re coming up with theories like this you are definitely an intuitive type-1 in 4 are intuitive types.
I find these theories very accurate. I’m an INTP, type 4 on Enneagram, which happens to be likely to dive into this rabbit hole.
ESTJ, but I find it’s too many variables to convey simply.
@@fathermosesmcphersonLOL I'm also an ESTJ (if that test means anything).
@@fathermosesmcpherson ah yes it’s a difficult system to convey! Your condensed version gives people enough.
ESTJ, that’s oriented towards management. Interesting. Not many sensor types dive into theory world like this so I’m a little suspicious of your typing… forgive me if that’s prideful sounding 🙏
My roommate an (INFJ) and I love your videos. We are both single females in our 30’s desiring children and husbands.
We went to a local church and the priest there said “there are a ton of men coming in but there is only one I would say is marriage ready”. He said there are more women ready for marriage. It is a disheartening situation but one that you seem to be helping in.
I think the rotten fruits of fornication and participating in the spirit of infidelity via pornography are raining down hard on our generation.
Many men in our generation seem to be taken over by pornography addictions and it has detrimental effects of how they relate to women and how they value women. Many modern men are adopting the princess “chase me” syndrome and it’s very unnatractive. And generally narcissism is at an all time high.
Both my roommate and I are intuituve and of the sensitive nature and feel unsafe around most modern men. It is refreshing to hear a Father address these issues. Thank you for your wisdom and hard work Father.
@@ElonMuskrat-my8jy The test is very accurate but I’d argue you’d have to really dive in to use it or understand it and possibly have to have certain cognitive functions to use it accurately. It’s generally not something sensor personalities get into. You go to an intuitive personality meetup and it’s all theory talk. Oftentimes it’s crickets when an intuitive personality attempts to talk theory to a sensor… not because I think they are rude it just isn’t something they generally are interested in.
I’m an INTP woman and can’t find myself on here 😂
Please do a part two father! I think this is a great concept but I would like to hear more details about each category.
Many comments show a lack of understanding Orthodox Marriage. People keep thinking secular materialistic marriage and applying its consequences to an Orthodox marriage. Father perhaps a video distinguishing between the two would be good? Sacrifice vs pleasure, love vs lust, material wealth vs spiritual wealth. Carrying each other's cross, refining each other's flaws and enhancing each other's strengths. I think people today don't know what marriage is which is why many believe in eternal dating or rejection of women and simultaneously monastic life. Many men viewing single life and marriage through materialism. "How does it effect my possessions"
@neil55851217 You are misunderstanding my comment so I'll elaborate more to help clarify. By secular marriage I don't mean legal/by the books per government law. I am referring to the individual mentality of the two people involved. A couple can be Orthodox in name and married in a Orthodox parish yet mentally have a worldview that is not Orthodox. So they have misconceptions about what marriage is and their role in it. I know of a priest who mentioned so many couples he talks to admit they don't even pray for each other and view that as something only clergy and monks do.
I don't know how you don't realize this but ultimately orthodox marriages still fall under the legislation of the gynocentric USA
It not just about your "stuff" - ( But I really don't want to live out of my car either) the worst part it's about the kids, and ex-husband will drop thousands in court sometimes just to have modem of shared custody. - Because the wife usually will get custody 90% of the time ( she would almost have be crack addict not to) there are some men that don't see their kids for month as the wife pursues divorce, and in most case than its every other week at best for the ex- H.
Shedding our attachment to material things is literally step one, according to Christ himself.
@@jesh879 where does it cover these steps? What would I look up?
I know a man who is visionary and stable at the same time. This is a perfect combination.
Father, could you do a video on infidelity/adultery? My wife recently betrayed our marriage and I have been deeply struggling with it. She fell to temptations through social media. I don’t believe in divorce because it breaks our covenant with God. We are working on fixing the damage but it is really hard with the pain I have.
Christ and the Orthodox Church allows divorce due to adultery.
Sorry to hear that, man. You have to consider also what made her consider someone outside of the marriage, though. It couldn't simply be social media.
@iplyrunescape305 You seem to be naive to how modern women work. They will use any excuse or opportunity to cheat.
@iplyrunescape305 modern women are fickle so yes it's very possible that's all it was
Really sorry to hear that, mate. It might be worth reflecting on potential causes beyond external factors like the Internet. Focus on yourself rather than overanalysing her behaviour. The covenant has already been broken, so you’re free to make choices that are best for you. Perhaps it’s codependency, rather than God’s covenant, that’s keeping you in this relationship.
Wow. Just wow. I wish I would’ve known watched this video years ago. Good video
I think that I am mr. steady, who sometimes thinks he is a commander..
John Reacher with a sensitive side? Good look.
you're lucky. i might be a mr steady trying sometimes to be a visionary
@@1xE-2xD I am not rich as a commander, but I am annoying as one... I am a steady who wants to command and control...
@@1xE-2xD An Orthodox cannot become a commander in a non-Orthodoc society. They will never allow us to acquire such positions...
@@JurgenLoschfer and i am a steady who wants to improvise xD. jokes aside i belive we are perfect just the way we are. if i learned something there were times in my life where i needed to be a steady and times i needed to be a visionary. i kind of screw them up by mixing them up but I've learned and grew from the experiences. maybe you believe you are an annoying commander because you are commanding the wrong people or in the wrong situations?
Unbelievable breakdown ! Thank you Father Moses!
I recognize I’m a visionary man now. I plan on getting married and having kids. I know God made me like this for a reason. So should I just stick to one thing and follow it through? Because I do have a lot of things going on and plans.
Yes!
@ thank you!
@neil55851217 dumb it down please
I like the way you delivered this message
Where is category "lazy" :)
Nowhere. Because it’s not wife or husband material.
Wonderful! I want to find my life Partner as a Visionary. Thank you for this very valuable message
Orthodox Jews get married based on shared vision. They figure out within weeks if they are getting married or not. But yeah, I have seen that the marriages that succeed are the ones where men and women want the same life.
Don't orthodox Jews make their wives work ( provide) , and raise kids so they can study the Tanakh?
This was a good one. I like character/personality breakdowns.
I was a Mr. Steady she was an artsy gal ...it was never gonna work 😢...she left me for an ex ( commander man ( boxer)) ...sidenote some times he boxed her
Good high level overview Father. Thank you.