Ex of 4 years was talking to somebody else for a month after our breakup then tried to come back the other day. I found out and deaded that right away. Nahhhhh you should’ve never left in the first place! It hurts just knowing they thought you weren’t enough or the grass was greener. Take your power back people!
You were her boyfriend, not husband. She has right to date others if no marriage or real commitment coming and after being loyal to a bf for 4 years. I wouldn't waste more time after 1 month if no mention of marriage.
The quicker you unfollowed and start working on yourself the better off you will be . No revenge, no arguing, just boss up and becoming me the best you ! Stay blessed!!!!
I really want her back so badly. I've taken the path of no contact and she has been messaging me about the failings of the relationship and how much she feels silly for my 'immaturity' in not wanting to be friends. I have stayed silent through all of her attempts. I want to respond and its breaking me because I never loved like this before. I don't want to be friends. I want her to realize the mistake she made and make true efforts to win me back. I know I am selfish in this regard, but I gave her everything I had. So it's all or nothing at this point, but it hurt so bad.
Been in no contact for 40 days, couple weeks ago I spoke to her very briefly at church. She reached out for a hug as we were parting. I stepped back and said " no, don't do that" . The look on her face was as if I had slapped her. That made me feel like I was taking my energy and power back.
I don't know the dynamics of your relationship with her, but from the outside looking in, that was kinda mean. You can keep things cordial and then keep it moving. Doesn't make you look weak. Just my thoughts.
Been in no contact for 2months when I found out he was still married but continue to lie and breadcrumb this something throw things in my face was with him 7months. First 3 month were good then he back off it hurts he has not reach out to me
i thoroughly enjoyed this. i remember telling my ex in the last stages of our relationship that he is now in a position of power and he is riding the wave and like always, hed gaslight me and say that is my problem, i think we are oppositions instead of partners. This video just really confirmed that i was not crazy how i analysed the situation. i am hyping myself to want nothing to do with that guy ever again. pity i spent 10 years of my life waiting for on him
What can hold us back from standing ground is fear of losing what is making us feel bad already. They need to feel the loss. Even if we suffer a little bit thinking that our decision might hurt them. What matters is to start feeling better and stronger. We need to be in a good position in order to allow what we deserve come to our lives. Life changes, so do people. Let God do the work at its due time. ❤🎉
"I lost value in their eyes." Oh myyyyyyy god. This hit me strongly. It's so true. I did lose value in his eyes, and that's why he wouldn't. Make time with me anymore. Couple of times stood me up, and i'm just now understanding what you said. I always try to be extra understanding because of the nature of his job being in law.Enforcement and excused way too many things. But underneath all of that, it was daddy lost value in me.
As soon as she dumped me I went no contact In 2 months she started to slowly reach out, I followed your and other coaches advice now a month after she started to court me well today she videoed me and professed her love. It's been a journey but I'm much stronger and not being disrespected I do still love her but I'm a stronger guy
Avoidants are masters in moving on from relationships or anything else. They usually cut and run in fear of being abandoned so they do it first... If they do the dumping, they're not being abandoned.... they're in control.
Emotional support and being there for him a long relationship have only backfired on me. Subconsciously we have been sabotaging the chances of growth and self development to each other. I’ve neglected other opportunities for almost 2 years. Time is valuable. I gave him the breakup 3 weeks ago. Moving forward to no contact is the best gift for myself. He earned the loss.
Yes Yes Yes ! I know it’s hard but stand down don’t break the know contact rule. I know some think that they’re in a dark place but what comes from darkness? Diamonds and Beautiful flowers so grow and bloom and with stand the pressure and become this beautiful flower and shine like the priceless diamond that you are. HP
Married 13yrs and 2 kids, told me "i care about you and love you but like a friend" January 23', moved out June 23', no contact started Sept. 23', alot of weird stuff started then, in Dec '23, went on a date her friends were at the same party, saw me, now she's acting weird, still no contact, temptation is a m.f., lol, thank you for what you do, it has really helped me, BOSS!!!
My ex broke up with me 8 months ago l was absolutely broken and friendzoned me so would check on me still take me on dates but told me he had met someone else though has not taken that person to our circles. On friday l finally flipped and told him it's all or nothing for me. This friend thing isn't working. He told me it wasn't the right time to discuss it but remained headstrong . Have not heard from him since . I miss him but l refuse to play 2nd fiddle
Hi. My story is: I was with my gf for 2 years, then she just said "our souls are not compatible" and then broke up with me because I said to her, that she is affected by her father, sister and her friend which she met just a few months ago. I am in no contact with her, but she is still watching my Instagram stories, sending me snaps etc... I still love her so much and I wish the no contact will help me to get her back... btw. she started to talk other guy a few days ago but I hope it is just a rebound relationship.
Something about the way you worded this helped to see this breakup and my self worth so differently and I feel a weight lifted off me thanks so much!🙏🏼❤️
Ty so much for this. I have been on and off with this avoidant for 17 years. He would always leave me or any other girl after 2 years. He got really hurt by someone and I was there for him. So he was doing good until he went back to his ex. I asked him who he was spending new years eve with and he said his ex after he told me that he wanted her to move on. So, on new years eve I explained not going into 2024 even as his friend after 17 years. Of course he texted back and I did not respond. I am going to stand my ground. I know he loves me just won't commit. He is all-over the place. I am going to stand my ground and be high value. I just don't want to be his friend
Same situation it's been since new years so literally 9 days but I'm going strong and I feel like I made the right decisions oh mine is 11 years so you got some time on me but I refuse to waste any more time
Been 40 days no contact she's not going to reach out, and if she does, why should I care? It's a New Year, im throwing away trash from last year in order to find my treasure in this new one.
I just started no contact. This is week 2 after. 19 yr relationship. Even though we have kids, I am giving her short answers and not letting her walk all over me. I cook, clean, help the kids with their homework, wash clothes (dishes). I also got the courage to finally move in the other room. I just stopped doing her chores for her. Any feedback is very much appreciated.
This is me in and out for the last 10 months when she feels like it wants to meet for breakfast but that’s it. I’ve just refused now il respond to a direct question otherwise I never reach out. She is also aggressive like angry that I’m refusing to meet for breakfast. I’m just going to stick to it if that makes her move on so be it.
Nothing excuses going out and cheating or monkey branching. Doesn't matter how they saw your value. I think that term is disgusting anyway. Everyone is special and deserve to be loved.
Still waiting for a long distance break up video ❤ ( its a 9 hour flight distance ) also if you have any information about dumpers who are on weeds and their behaviours during the relationship, after dumping etc..
Honestly, the biggest issue I’m having is that I genuinely don’t know who broke up with who, It was very confusing and I don’t know what actually happened.
Today am just going to call off our trip for the new year and i have paid for half of the trip and I don't want anything in return we have to take our power back
6:07 This is what's happened, but in person. I work with my ex and it's been hard to be in no contact. We recently have been more distant. His new gf is also at work, and it seems the stronger I get, they flaunt their relationship more??
Ex of 5 years left me one day 9 months ago. She really destroyed me emotionally and I think she’s even moved on to someone else by now. I miss her every single day and I can’t stop thinking about her. Any tips would be welcome for how to get over her
@@HojaFPS absolutely not, my job got taken away from me because I got cancelled for a false allegation and my body is a mess rn I haven’t been working out or taking care of what I eat
Good, then u are at the point where I was at when my gf left me. And this is good news. U probably felt like there was nothing to life for next to your ex. So thats good news cause u can change all of that. U can take that energy to become a better you. Starting a diet, sth that works for you ( i made it super fking simple, going to gym 4 / 7 days a week, following a plan and become better than u ve ever been before. If it has to be your motivation to win her back. Let it be your motivation. People who say you have to do it for yourself are wrong. If you cant do it for yourself, do it to win her back. Because if someone fell in love with u when u werent closly as good as u can be, then why the fk wouldnt they come back if u are way better. (At this point u probably found someone better tho.) Take energy to start side hustles, to use the time productivly and u will feel better because ur brain can understand that u go the right directions. Your brain wont understand it if u just constantly think of her, and u can do that forever. It wont stop if u dont change it.@@xzzx21
@@xzzx21 I had no job, nothing. Had no perspectives. It took me one week to get invited for an interview that was better than anything i ve had before. I ll start there in Jauary. Dont give urself up. You only lose when u do that.
Been broken up for a month. Tried no contact then broke it. I told her I respect her boundaries, im not going to bother you, would you like to reach out to me when your ready to talk. She told me it's fine I can text her. We talked a little and I told her take care and didn't bother to write her again. Then Christmas night she contacts me for the first time saying "hope you enjoyed your holiday and wish you the best in 2024". I guess she expected to hear from me on Christmas and when she didnt felt some way. Then proceeded to make conversation with me about nothing that had to do with the relationship or our problems/issues. How should I handle things now
Coach, my dismissive avoidant ex suddenly left before Halloween and we stopped talking 2 weeks before thanksgiving. Since then she hasn’t reached out and I worry she’s forgotten about me. How do I stay strong during no contact and the holidays? She doesn’t have much social media and I don’t have her relatives added either…. I felt almost love bombed and so this period alone hurts and is so confusing :(
I needed this everyone keeps telling me I’m wrong for setting boundaries with my ex Everyone keeps telling I should be eating shit for what I did to her but the thing is we’re both guilty is some way. And we both said the past is the past but yet somehow it’s okay for me to eat shit from her. And I actually did eat shit from her for 2 months just recently I told her it was done and now I’m the bad guy 😐
I agreed to him about the break up now after I chased him and now I'm in no contact mode.. He said what we had wasn't a game but he wishes me the best.. I do love him but I need to focus on myself and love myself. If he comes back qnd we decide to try again but not keeping that as hope.. I'm just doing me.
Do your videos and coaching only apply to relationships that were over a year? The reason I ask is I was dating this guy for 2 months such an amazing connection energy, and I. Such alignment with one another. We became best friends told each other things our closest family and friends don't know. He ended it He said I chose to walk away again rather than discussing the issue. Said I have an attitude. I have been no contact since. Going on 3 weeks. I know my situation no way compares to most , but I miss my best friend.
My ex came to my bar for Christmas. We have mutual friends. She looked at me all the time and when she leaves texts me and we have a fun conversation talking about old funny moments . Is this a progress?😢
My ex, we dated for 5 years and we live together, he broke up with me because I talked to him bad :( I do feel awful about how I would just go off on him and I pushed him away. I want a chance to get back with him but I feel there is no hope
If you messed things up, it's up to you to do the correcting and asking for forgiveness. You have to do the work to correct things. You may or may not get the response you want, but you will never know if you don't say what you need to say and correct your behavior
I was with someone for 6 months and she broke it off because I said something really rude to somebody that she was directed at her (game chat) . She was inconsolable. I doubled down in a text when I wrote her talking about the individual in the game chat referring to her in a vulgar way. She concluded I’m a jealous and angry individual. I also wrote she likes the attention she gets from her stream. I apologized and said I’d shape up but the damage was already done. Additionally broke the no contact rule after she asked from space. I’m doing no contact now. To describe our relationship prior: she came to with with all issues she faced day to day and confided in me a lot. We’re Muslim so no intimacy b4 marriage however we would FaceTime for 2-6 hours almost everyday. In February we were to meet with her parents and begin to get married. She’s extremely intelligent and when she makes a decision I fear it’s final. This is all very fresh so I’m hoping for the best. I appreciate your content bruddah 👊🏻. You’re helping a lot of folks
We were best friends but I’m in love for 3.5 years. He told me I was an option but kept choosing other girls. He did it again so I cut contact a week ago. I’m gutted and very depressed but I have to choose me this time.
today ,He get mad because I take like 15 h not seeing to his text and he send another text that he so bothered of what I did and it's his mistake to care about me and he will never do it again, and I send to him after 30min from that text that I was busy and have things to do he take very long time and left me on seen ...he hurt me alot during the break up it's 1 mouth now and we are a part from each other but he want us to act as friends ,,,am really mad how dare he want to be a friend with me after alot of bad things happened between us.
Hey my name is Roberto am from the Caribbean. I have been following your channel for a couple of mouths now .I just went through I brake up with my partner. We have two wonderful and beautiful girls how I been trying no contact.but with the kids it's a little difficult what most I do
Mine dumped me Dec 15, Dec 27 she travelled across town late at night to speak to me. I was asleep. Next day she said she was drunk and it was a mistake. Jan 3 she called me and spoke to me like nothing ever happened. I went to her place to tell her to leave me alone. She blocked me a week ago, so I couldn’t call her . She’s dealing with depression and alcohol addiction. I don’t know what’s in her head. She says she needs to fix herself but isn’t. She’s sitting at home ( she lives with her parents ) drinking alone
@@kkdream99 she does have depression and a drinking issue. She told me she went back to her homeless unemployed alcoholic ex husband that cheated on her and left her 6 years ago, in the two years we were together he was evicted for not paying rent , went to detox 3 times. She tried to insult me by saying he’s better than me. Those losers deserve each other what my therapist and I talked about this week Here's what my ex did , she asked me to tell what happened and itemeized everything Tension building • upset because sex life wasn’t as it was when it first started • She was caught in a lie • Was called out for ignoring Devaluation • had less time for me • Wanted to be independent , got upset when help was offered Love bomb • returns at the sign of threat I may leave • FaceTime calls returned Incident • break up/ instead of separating- picked a fight to justify Stonewall • ignored for 12 days Gas lighting • being blamed and made to feel at fault for her issues Triangulation • returned to her ex Hoovering • asked to talk • Called me Next comes Reconciliation Calm
I text my ex on occasions but then I'm completely ghosted 100 percent of the time and on occasions again he would text me back just kinda low to me cause he could message me back instead of myself doing it every single day I just need the help to make him wonder what I'm doing lol I'm the only one that expresses feelings and he doesn't but I still believe he thinks of me from time to time I just pray that he isn't seeing another girl cause it would break me so bad cause I have had a crush on him ever since 1993 when I was in elementary school lol and when we got into high school I still had a crush but I guess I need to start being more strong over this and not cry like I do
Me and my ex were together for 4 and a half years, we were young and now are 21 and 22 she’s older, she broke up with me last day of October, she reached out in late November after nc because she owed me some money and she texted to let me know to pay it back, that turned into her asking how I’ve been etc etc and a bit of small talk then I introduced the idea of coffee or breakfast, she said yes but that she’s not ready until sometime in the new year, then it’s been nc again for another 4 weeks and she reached out 8.30 in the morning Christmas Day to wish me and my family a merry Christmas, I said the same back and to let her family know I say it too, we talked for 45 then straight back to nc again now 2 days later, what should I do, it’s clear I’m in her mind but I’m still waiting for an in person meet up and honestly for her to make her feelings clear, I want her back so badly but I’ve been strong, just annoying there’s been no solid move and I’m waiting for that breakfast or her to make a significant move to get out of nc
Make her be the one to reach out. If she wants to then she needs to be the one to want to make any positive changes including discussing getting coffee or breakfast with you
@@user-wy1qs3xn2sthank you, just very hard it seems to be moving well, just very hard having the patience and self control but everyone around me is saying I’m more confident, physically in fantastic shape now with the gym, just hard when she’s like the completing aspect to everything, just have to keep my faith in gods timing and will
Don't chit-chat with her. Listen to more of Coach Blac's videos or UA-cam "7 principles to get an ex back." Either way, stop giving her your attention and validation. She needs to earn it by submitting to you.
Hes Blocked so we are not having any conversations. I'm standing on Business letting him feel the consequences for his actions. Boundaries are essential for any successful relationship, not SITUATIONSHIP. 😊
I screwd things up... I broke no contact after 4 months when he wants to be friends. We met for breakfast then another day for coffee. I started to fantasize that were getting back together. I went back to being needy and he backed OFF BY 10 STEPS ...uggggg fast forward...Im back to no contact after about 3 weeks of neediness.. Did I lose my 1 chance?
Coach my ex wife left me a month ago and a day after she said she didn’t want to be together she was dating a new guy and soon after moved in together I’m trying to do no contact but it’s hard with our children involved in all this
I’m in a similar situation….my husband of 18 years cheated on me with a much younger woman. He left. I wanted to give it a try but he decided he loved her. We have a child so have interacted. Trying no contact but it’s hard.
@@Claire-pi7ir I’ve messed up by allowing her to get me to the point of tears and recently sent her a clean slate message but now she is asking me why I have changed my behavior and am now so accepting of the separation and her new relationship I’m having trouble getting her to just accept that I’m okay with it all
Hi coach) its been a week since she broke up with me and i gave her a hard no contact. Today received a message she saying that she feels empty, i quickly got out of the conversation. Am i doing right, will she message me again?
Hi Boss what if I told her "maybe we should go our separate ways" I didn't mean it but then I doubled down next day " i went through the repentance process short of excessive annoyance to her or begging. She is not only my ex but the mother of our toddler.
Hi coach Me and my ex dated for almost 3 and half years and it was serious relationship from both end but because of my behaviour and repetiting the same mistakes my ex left me. And it has been more than 6 months since breakup and I haven't texted her since 3 months so do I have a chance?
I've been in no contact for 3 weeks, but right before I went into NC, my ex told me about the new guy she's dating and and even gave me his full name. She said she likes him, though he doesn't look as good as me. Fast forward to today, I saw him on FB and he definitely can't hold a candle stick to me 😂 my ex has more boobs than booty, and he has memes making fun of those kinds of women on his FB 😮 I don't think she has seen his posts thoroughly. They're relationship is not gonna go too far.
So, I haven't spoken to my loved one in a few weeks now because I am giving him the chance of space. When I love him so much, I need to respect his privacy. That's how much I care for him. Someday he will come back to me and care for me like he used to. Never in my life ever want us to tear apart no more. There is no other world without him in my life.
COUACH black my 70 year old wife of 34 years said she does mot want to be married anymore so I LET HER go no contact except for bill paying and divorce lawyer she has reached out and I ONLY RESPOND FOR BUSINESS STILL PRETTY HURT BUT LOVE HER WHAT SHOULD I DO BUT I HAVE HAD TRUST ISSUES WITH HER IS MARRIAGES WORTH FIGHTING FOR SHE WAS A GOD MOTHER AND WIFE IN THE EARLY YEARS OF MARRIAGE VERY CONFUSED THANK YOU COACH BLACK
I went no contact with ex, it had been About 18 days I checked in WhatsApp she had me blocked. She told me if she blocked me then that meant that she had moved on. I messaged on the blocked number and vented a little. My last message said you blocked me how mature. I thought don’t go through. She unblocked me and that message had sent somehow I saw it in my computer. She did not respond to that. Is this a good sign she unblocked me or a bad sign that she didn’t respond
Hi Coach, Can you do more success story vids and explain how this 'standing on business' charade is a web that will only tangle the individual trying to set the trap. #nocontact
Coach, it's been 6 months and she's trying to com back but I don't want her anymore because she absolutely broke me and I don't trust she wont do it again. That being said, I still love her and I don't think itl ever go away, what do I do
coach my ex reached out saying her jacket was too small that i gave her and she cant take it back without receipt. is that worth a reply or a breadcrumb?
Hey coach, my avoidant ex has broken up with me twice. Do avoidants think about coming back a third time? Maybe a coaching call might help my situation.
Even if they do come back a 3rd time, i would completely move on at that point personally. Theyve destroyed the respect they have for you twice, and clearly dont see your value. So its likely they'll do it another. It needs to be clear to respect your feelings and not just come hot and cold towards you, do you really want someone who's gonna keep coming in and out of your life? I know that sounds tough and harsh but thats the reality of it. I mean thats just my opinion but I would move on completely if I were you, stay strong
Ex of 4 years was talking to somebody else for a month after our breakup then tried to come back the other day. I found out and deaded that right away. Nahhhhh you should’ve never left in the first place! It hurts just knowing they thought you weren’t enough or the grass was greener. Take your power back people!
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Keep your standards high! Good luck moving forward 🙏
Just know they never would have stopped talking anyway.
You were her boyfriend, not husband. She has right to date others if no marriage or real commitment coming and after being loyal to a bf for 4 years. I wouldn't waste more time after 1 month if no mention of marriage.
@@basicinfo2022 I was ready , she wasn’t.
No contact isn't a choice. It's a lifestyle
The quicker you unfollowed and start working on yourself the better off you will be . No revenge, no arguing, just boss up and becoming me the best you ! Stay blessed!!!!
Facts!
Let them go guys, they are not worth your time, work on yourselves.
But I have a daughter with that 304.i partly made that woman
I really want her back so badly. I've taken the path of no contact and she has been messaging me about the failings of the relationship and how much she feels silly for my 'immaturity' in not wanting to be friends. I have stayed silent through all of her attempts. I want to respond and its breaking me because I never loved like this before. I don't want to be friends. I want her to realize the mistake she made and make true efforts to win me back. I know I am selfish in this regard, but I gave her everything I had. So it's all or nothing at this point, but it hurt so bad.
You being “selfish” isn’t a bad thing. You dont owe her any sort of friendship. So I definitely think it’s selfishness.
Been in no contact for 40 days, couple weeks ago I spoke to her very briefly at church. She reached out for a hug as we were parting. I stepped back and said " no, don't do that" . The look on her face was as if I had slapped her. That made me feel like I was taking my energy and power back.
😢
I don't know the dynamics of your relationship with her, but from the outside looking in, that was kinda mean. You can keep things cordial and then keep it moving. Doesn't make you look weak. Just my thoughts.
Boundaries are good if they are not on the same page as you or in your future.
Just because it was at church doesn't mean he's obligated to reciprocate a hug. No! Give space between those type of hugs. Hi from afar .
Been in no contact for 2months when I found out he was still married but continue to lie and breadcrumb this something throw things in my face was with him 7months. First 3 month were good then he back off it hurts he has not reach out to me
I quote Luther Van Dross” Give me the reason to want you back”
Luther was a boss
i thoroughly enjoyed this. i remember telling my ex in the last stages of our relationship that he is now in a position of power and he is riding the wave and like always, hed gaslight me and say that is my problem, i think we are oppositions instead of partners. This video just really confirmed that i was not crazy how i analysed the situation. i am hyping myself to want nothing to do with that guy ever again. pity i spent 10 years of my life waiting for on him
What can hold us back from standing ground is fear of losing what is making us feel bad already. They need to feel the loss. Even if we suffer a little bit thinking that our decision might hurt them. What matters is to start feeling better and stronger. We need to be in a good position in order to allow what we deserve come to our lives.
Life changes, so do people. Let God do the work at its due time.
❤🎉
Yes, dont be scared to lose them if they are not acting right. Walk away.
"I lost value in their eyes." Oh myyyyyyy god. This hit me strongly. It's so true. I did lose value in his eyes, and that's why he wouldn't. Make time with me anymore. Couple of times stood me up, and i'm just now understanding what you said. I always try to be extra understanding because of the nature of his job being in law.Enforcement and excused way too many things. But underneath all of that, it was daddy lost value in me.
As soon as she dumped me I went no contact
In 2 months she started to slowly reach out, I followed your and other coaches advice now a month after she started to court me well today she videoed me and professed her love.
It's been a journey but I'm much stronger and not being disrespected
I do still love her but I'm a stronger guy
Update
Update
She started to court you? Is she the man?
Avoidants are masters in moving on from relationships or anything else. They usually cut and run in fear of being abandoned so they do it first... If they do the dumping, they're not being abandoned.... they're in control.
So how do you get control back, or is it impossible when it comes to their case
Affirmations of calling all of your power back. Be content with your life, grow and be indifferent to them.
Omgggg this is meeeeee!!!
Emotional support and being there for him a long relationship have only backfired on me. Subconsciously we have been sabotaging the chances of growth and self development to each other. I’ve neglected other opportunities for almost 2 years. Time is valuable. I gave him the breakup 3 weeks ago. Moving forward to no contact is the best gift for myself. He earned the loss.
Detach and play the game. When she comes back, keep her in the rotation
Yes Yes Yes ! I know it’s hard but stand down don’t break the know contact rule. I know some think that they’re in a dark place but what comes from darkness? Diamonds and Beautiful flowers so grow and bloom and with stand the pressure and become this beautiful flower and shine like the priceless diamond that you are. HP
Married 13yrs and 2 kids, told me "i care about you and love you but like a friend" January 23', moved out June 23', no contact started Sept. 23', alot of weird stuff started then, in Dec '23, went on a date her friends were at the same party, saw me, now she's acting weird, still no contact, temptation is a m.f., lol, thank you for what you do, it has really helped me, BOSS!!!
Keep goin sounds like she fr don't deserve u
My ex broke up with me 8 months ago l was absolutely broken and friendzoned me so would check on me still take me on dates but told me he had met someone else though has not taken that person to our circles. On friday l finally flipped and told him it's all or nothing for me. This friend thing isn't working. He told me it wasn't the right time to discuss it but remained headstrong . Have not heard from him since . I miss him but l refuse to play 2nd fiddle
Hi. My story is: I was with my gf for 2 years, then she just said "our souls are not compatible" and then broke up with me because I said to her, that she is affected by her father, sister and her friend which she met just a few months ago. I am in no contact with her, but she is still watching my Instagram stories, sending me snaps etc... I still love her so much and I wish the no contact will help me to get her back... btw. she started to talk other guy a few days ago but I hope it is just a rebound relationship.
its hard when they are beautiful and loving
Something about the way you worded this helped to see this breakup and my self worth so differently and I feel a weight lifted off me thanks so much!🙏🏼❤️
Ty so much for this. I have been on and off with this avoidant for 17 years. He would always leave me or any other girl after 2 years. He got really hurt by someone and I was there for him. So he was doing good until he went back to his ex. I asked him who he was spending new years eve with and he said his ex after he told me that he wanted her to move on. So, on new years eve I explained not going into 2024 even as his friend after 17 years. Of course he texted back and I did not respond. I am going to stand my ground. I know he loves me just won't commit. He is all-over the place. I am going to stand my ground and be high value. I just don't want to be his friend
Same situation it's been since new years so literally 9 days but I'm going strong and I feel like I made the right decisions oh mine is 11 years so you got some time on me but I refuse to waste any more time
I think that You are one of our honorable black men . Thank you for being a real one REP $ MEMPHIS
Excellent advice as usual. Keep it coming, we’re getting stronger AND WISER!!
All this are so hard I feel so hurt , truthfully like gosh,how
Been 40 days no contact she's not going to reach out, and if she does, why should I care? It's a New Year, im throwing away trash from last year in order to find my treasure in this new one.
I just started no contact. This is week 2 after. 19 yr relationship. Even though we have kids, I am giving her short answers and not letting her walk all over me. I cook, clean, help the kids with their homework, wash clothes (dishes). I also got the courage to finally move in the other room. I just stopped doing her chores for her. Any feedback is very much appreciated.
A video for avoidant dumper please? Thanks 🙏🏼
This is me in and out for the last 10 months when she feels like it wants to meet for breakfast but that’s it. I’ve just refused now il respond to a direct question otherwise I never reach out. She is also aggressive like angry that I’m refusing to meet for breakfast. I’m just going to stick to it if that makes her move on so be it.
Next time she reaches out, suggest her coming over to your place. If she gives you a wishy washy answer, take away the offer
Nothing excuses going out and cheating or monkey branching. Doesn't matter how they saw your value. I think that term is disgusting anyway. Everyone is special and deserve to be loved.
Coach you are the best❤, l was also struggling about the same situation
Still waiting for a long distance break up video ❤ ( its a 9 hour flight distance ) also if you have any information about dumpers who are on weeds and their behaviours during the relationship, after dumping etc..
Honestly, the biggest issue I’m having is that I genuinely don’t know who broke up with who, It was very confusing and I don’t know what actually happened.
Today am just going to call off our trip for the new year and i have paid for half of the trip and I don't want anything in return we have to take our power back
Oooh it's fine brother take your power back
6:07 This is what's happened, but in person. I work with my ex and it's been hard to be in no contact. We recently have been more distant. His new gf is also at work, and it seems the stronger I get, they flaunt their relationship more??
I've been listening to you for about a week ..thank you bro your words have meaning 🙏🏾
Ex of 5 years left me one day 9 months ago. She really destroyed me emotionally and I think she’s even moved on to someone else by now. I miss her every single day and I can’t stop thinking about her. Any tips would be welcome for how to get over her
Are you happy with your life beside it? Job, Body etc.?
@@HojaFPS absolutely not, my job got taken away from me because I got cancelled for a false allegation and my body is a mess rn I haven’t been working out or taking care of what I eat
Good, then u are at the point where I was at when my gf left me. And this is good news. U probably felt like there was nothing to life for next to your ex. So thats good news cause u can change all of that. U can take that energy to become a better you. Starting a diet, sth that works for you ( i made it super fking simple, going to gym 4 / 7 days a week, following a plan and become better than u ve ever been before. If it has to be your motivation to win her back. Let it be your motivation. People who say you have to do it for yourself are wrong. If you cant do it for yourself, do it to win her back. Because if someone fell in love with u when u werent closly as good as u can be, then why the fk wouldnt they come back if u are way better. (At this point u probably found someone better tho.) Take energy to start side hustles, to use the time productivly and u will feel better because ur brain can understand that u go the right directions. Your brain wont understand it if u just constantly think of her, and u can do that forever. It wont stop if u dont change it.@@xzzx21
@@HojaFPS thanks for the tips man, honestly it all starts from my job. If I had my job back I would be ok
@@xzzx21 I had no job, nothing. Had no perspectives. It took me one week to get invited for an interview that was better than anything i ve had before. I ll start there in Jauary. Dont give urself up. You only lose when u do that.
You take it back by simply ghosting their ass….. BYE
I’ve been binge watching your videos for the past few days. How often do you go live, and on which platform?
Thank you very much ❤ going through a break up. 🙏
Keep it simple and stay single.
You make light of the worst kind of treachery. Call it for what it is. Inhumane!!!
Been broken up for a month. Tried no contact then broke it. I told her I respect her boundaries, im not going to bother you, would you like to reach out to me when your ready to talk. She told me it's fine I can text her. We talked a little and I told her take care and didn't bother to write her again. Then Christmas night she contacts me for the first time saying "hope you enjoyed your holiday and wish you the best in 2024". I guess she expected to hear from me on Christmas and when she didnt felt some way. Then proceeded to make conversation with me about nothing that had to do with the relationship or our problems/issues. How should I handle things now
NC
Coach, my dismissive avoidant ex suddenly left before Halloween and we stopped talking 2 weeks before thanksgiving. Since then she hasn’t reached out and I worry she’s forgotten about me. How do I stay strong during no contact and the holidays? She doesn’t have much social media and I don’t have her relatives added either…. I felt almost love bombed and so this period alone hurts and is so confusing :(
Pull your energy back within yourself, stop focusing on her. She feels like she can do better than you, embrace that as some motivation.
This makes a lot of sense 💯🙌🏼
You described me and this so well 😢
Thankyou coach for every things 🙏🙏🙏 you video are very help full to me 😊😊😊" love from nepal❤❤❤❤❤
I wish I would have seen this video 6 months ago before I allowed him to have so much power over me.
I needed this everyone keeps telling me I’m wrong for setting boundaries with my ex
Everyone keeps telling I should be eating shit for what I did to her but the thing is we’re both guilty is some way. And we both said the past is the past but yet somehow it’s okay for me to eat shit from her.
And I actually did eat shit from her for 2 months just recently I told her it was done and now I’m the bad guy 😐
Great content!
I agreed to him about the break up now after I chased him and now I'm in no contact mode.. He said what we had wasn't a game but he wishes me the best.. I do love him but I need to focus on myself and love myself. If he comes back qnd we decide to try again but not keeping that as hope.. I'm just doing me.
I need more information from the perspective of BEING the one who ended things bc they aren’t getting it together (avoidant).
Another great video! 🙏🏾
Do your videos and coaching only apply to relationships that were over a year? The reason I ask is I was dating this guy for 2 months such an amazing connection energy, and I. Such alignment with one another. We became best friends told each other things our closest family and friends don't know. He ended it He said I chose to walk away again rather than discussing the issue. Said I have an attitude. I have been no contact since. Going on 3 weeks. I know my situation no way compares to most , but I miss my best friend.
My ex came to my bar for Christmas. We have mutual friends. She looked at me all the time and when she leaves texts me and we have a fun conversation talking about old funny moments . Is this a progress?😢
My ex, we dated for 5 years and we live together, he broke up with me because I talked to him bad :( I do feel awful about how I would just go off on him and I pushed him away. I want a chance to get back with him but I feel there is no hope
If you messed things up, it's up to you to do the correcting and asking for forgiveness. You have to do the work to correct things. You may or may not get the response you want, but you will never know if you don't say what you need to say and correct your behavior
Update ? Same situation
I was with someone for 6 months and she broke it off because I said something really rude to somebody that she was directed at her (game chat) . She was inconsolable. I doubled down in a text when I wrote her talking about the individual in the game chat referring to her in a vulgar way. She concluded I’m a jealous and angry individual. I also wrote she likes the attention she gets from her stream. I apologized and said I’d shape up but the damage was already done. Additionally broke the no contact rule after she asked from space. I’m doing no contact now. To describe our relationship prior: she came to with with all issues she faced day to day and confided in me a lot. We’re Muslim so no intimacy b4 marriage however we would FaceTime for 2-6 hours almost everyday. In February we were to meet with her parents and begin to get married. She’s extremely intelligent and when she makes a decision I fear it’s final. This is all very fresh so I’m hoping for the best. I appreciate your content bruddah 👊🏻. You’re helping a lot of folks
We were best friends but I’m in love for 3.5 years. He told me I was an option but kept choosing other girls. He did it again so I cut contact a week ago. I’m gutted and very depressed but I have to choose me this time.
Mrs wants space she texts saying morning you ok what do I reply ?
Thanks coach!
Talk more on this topic 😊
What if both me and my ex are both taking advice from you who's gonna reach out then if we're both in no contact.
The dumper
today ,He get mad because I take like 15 h not seeing to his text and he send another text that he so bothered of what I did and it's his mistake to care about me and he will never do it again, and I send to him after 30min from that text that I was busy and have things to do he take very long time and left me on seen ...he hurt me alot during the break up it's 1 mouth now and we are a part from each other but he want us to act as friends ,,,am really mad how dare he want to be a friend with me after alot of bad things happened between us.
Thanks Coach
Thanks for watching! 🙏
Hey my name is Roberto am from the Caribbean. I have been following your channel for a couple of mouths now .I just went through I brake up with my partner. We have two wonderful and beautiful girls how I been trying no contact.but with the kids it's a little difficult what most I do
Mine dumped me Dec 15, Dec 27 she travelled across town late at night to speak to me. I was asleep. Next day she said she was drunk and it was a mistake.
Jan 3 she called me and spoke to me like nothing ever happened. I went to her place to tell her to leave me alone. She blocked me a week ago, so I couldn’t call her .
She’s dealing with depression and alcohol addiction. I don’t know what’s in her head. She says she needs to fix herself but isn’t. She’s sitting at home ( she lives with her parents ) drinking alone
@@kkdream99 Feb 14 she told me she reconciled with her loser ex husband
@@kkdream99 she does have depression and a drinking issue. She told me she went back to her homeless unemployed alcoholic ex husband that cheated on her and left her 6 years ago, in the two years we were together he was evicted for not paying rent , went to detox 3 times. She tried to insult me by saying he’s better than me. Those losers deserve each other
what my therapist and I talked about this week
Here's what my ex did , she asked me to tell what happened and itemeized everything
Tension building
• upset because sex life wasn’t as it was when it first started
• She was caught in a lie
• Was called out for ignoring
Devaluation
• had less time for me
• Wanted to be independent , got upset when help was offered
Love bomb
• returns at the sign of threat I may leave
• FaceTime calls returned
Incident
• break up/ instead of separating- picked a fight to justify
Stonewall
• ignored for 12 days
Gas lighting
• being blamed and made to feel at fault for her issues
Triangulation
• returned to her ex
Hoovering
• asked to talk
• Called me
Next comes
Reconciliation
Calm
What if you have to see him at work? Should I just pretend that he doesn't exist??
No nearly 9 months no contact...but I still feel that he will come back ..I broke no contact,he is still not responding please help
I text my ex on occasions but then I'm completely ghosted 100 percent of the time and on occasions again he would text me back just kinda low to me cause he could message me back instead of myself doing it every single day I just need the help to make him wonder what I'm doing lol I'm the only one that expresses feelings and he doesn't but I still believe he thinks of me from time to time I just pray that he isn't seeing another girl cause it would break me so bad cause I have had a crush on him ever since 1993 when I was in elementary school lol and when we got into high school I still had a crush but I guess I need to start being more strong over this and not cry like I do
Me and my ex were together for 4 and a half years, we were young and now are 21 and 22 she’s older, she broke up with me last day of October, she reached out in late November after nc because she owed me some money and she texted to let me know to pay it back, that turned into her asking how I’ve been etc etc and a bit of small talk then I introduced the idea of coffee or breakfast, she said yes but that she’s not ready until sometime in the new year, then it’s been nc again for another 4 weeks and she reached out 8.30 in the morning Christmas Day to wish me and my family a merry Christmas, I said the same back and to let her family know I say it too, we talked for 45 then straight back to nc again now 2 days later, what should I do, it’s clear I’m in her mind but I’m still waiting for an in person meet up and honestly for her to make her feelings clear, I want her back so badly but I’ve been strong, just annoying there’s been no solid move and I’m waiting for that breakfast or her to make a significant move to get out of nc
Make her be the one to reach out. If she wants to then she needs to be the one to want to make any positive changes including discussing getting coffee or breakfast with you
@@user-wy1qs3xn2sthank you, just very hard it seems to be moving well, just very hard having the patience and self control but everyone around me is saying I’m more confident, physically in fantastic shape now with the gym, just hard when she’s like the completing aspect to everything, just have to keep my faith in gods timing and will
Don't chit-chat with her. Listen to more of Coach Blac's videos or UA-cam "7 principles to get an ex back." Either way, stop giving her your attention and validation. She needs to earn it by submitting to you.
Hes Blocked so we are not having any conversations. I'm standing on Business letting him feel the consequences for his actions. Boundaries are essential for any successful relationship, not SITUATIONSHIP. 😊
I screwd things up... I broke no contact after 4 months when he wants to be friends. We met for breakfast then another day for coffee. I started to fantasize that were getting back together. I went back to being needy and he backed OFF BY 10 STEPS ...uggggg fast forward...Im back to no contact after about 3 weeks of neediness.. Did I lose my 1 chance?
How’d it work out?
Coach my ex wife left me a month ago and a day after she said she didn’t want to be together she was dating a new guy and soon after moved in together I’m trying to do no contact but it’s hard with our children involved in all this
I’m in a similar situation….my husband of 18 years cheated on me with a much younger woman. He left. I wanted to give it a try but he decided he loved her. We have a child so have interacted. Trying no contact but it’s hard.
@@Claire-pi7ir I’ve messed up by allowing her to get me to the point of tears and recently sent her a clean slate message but now she is asking me why I have changed my behavior and am now so accepting of the separation and her new relationship I’m having trouble getting her to just accept that I’m okay with it all
Hi coach) its been a week since she broke up with me and i gave her a hard no contact. Today received a message she saying that she feels empty, i quickly got out of the conversation. Am i doing right, will she message me again?
Hi Boss what if I told her "maybe we should go our separate ways" I didn't mean it but then I doubled down next day " i went through the repentance process short of excessive annoyance to her or begging. She is not only my ex but the mother of our toddler.
Me and my ex broke up 6 days ago, after 4 days she slept with someone Else, just frund out from her freind….
Hi coach
Me and my ex dated for almost 3 and half years and it was serious relationship from both end but because of my behaviour and repetiting the same mistakes my ex left me. And it has been more than 6 months since breakup and I haven't texted her since 3 months so do I have a chance?
Same mistake from my side. I don't know what to do now. It's been 2 months of no contact 😢
Manifest them law of attraction/ law of assumption
Did she return?
How can I get in touch with you so we can have a private session??
What about if we go to the same church? I know there's others but I'm part of groups at church
Thank you
Can you make a video of how to heal if she doesn’t come back?
My GF wanted to go through my personal computer, I mean phone (same difference) and I refused. She broke up with my immediately. Thoughts?
Super immature girl, or u 2 have had some serious issue regarding trust?
I've been in no contact for 3 weeks, but right before I went into NC, my ex told me about the new guy she's dating and and even gave me his full name. She said she likes him, though he doesn't look as good as me. Fast forward to today, I saw him on FB and he definitely can't hold a candle stick to me 😂 my ex has more boobs than booty, and he has memes making fun of those kinds of women on his FB 😮 I don't think she has seen his posts thoroughly. They're relationship is not gonna go too far.
Why do you care?...the desperation here is crazy
It sounds like you've dodged a bullet.
Its not about looks but how you make them feel…
😂😂😂😂
So, I haven't spoken to my loved one in a few weeks now because I am giving him the chance of space. When I love him so much, I need to respect his privacy. That's how much I care for him. Someday he will come back to me and care for me like he used to. Never in my life ever want us to tear apart no more. There is no other world without him in my life.
Its hard but i will not contact until contacted and might ignore them when they choose to
Didnshe ever reach out
COUACH black my 70 year old wife of 34 years said she does mot want to be married anymore so I LET HER go no contact except for bill paying and divorce lawyer she has reached out and I ONLY RESPOND FOR BUSINESS STILL PRETTY HURT BUT LOVE HER WHAT SHOULD I DO BUT I HAVE HAD TRUST ISSUES WITH HER IS MARRIAGES WORTH FIGHTING FOR SHE WAS A GOD MOTHER AND WIFE IN THE EARLY YEARS OF MARRIAGE VERY CONFUSED THANK YOU COACH BLACK
I went no contact with ex, it had been About 18 days I checked in WhatsApp she had me blocked. She told me if she blocked me then that meant that she had moved on. I messaged on the blocked number and vented a little. My last message said you blocked me how mature. I thought don’t go through. She unblocked me and that message had sent somehow I saw it in my computer. She did not respond to that. Is this a good sign she unblocked me or a bad sign that she didn’t respond
Going through a breakup but my ex lives in the same apartment complex HELP !!
Hi Coach, Can you do more success story vids and explain how this 'standing on business' charade is a web that will only tangle the individual trying to set the trap. #nocontact
9 year relationship w/kids and a third party. Break up. Still living together. What do I do?
What happened?
Can you do a video if you have a baby together😩
No fr
Coach, it's been 6 months and she's trying to com back but I don't want her anymore because she absolutely broke me and I don't trust she wont do it again. That being said, I still love her and I don't think itl ever go away, what do I do
Heart broken over here. Went to contact and get a session and omg it’s almost $300. 😢
Ripped that man into shreds 😂😂
Does no contact work in a marriage or is this for unmarried couples?
How bout if you been broken up for over 5 yrs n have a 6 yr old child,what should i do??
This pain is deep. Time to level up. Become a God.
coach my ex reached out saying her jacket was too small that i gave her and she cant take it back without receipt. is that worth a reply or a breadcrumb?
Hey coach, my avoidant ex has broken up with me twice. Do avoidants think about coming back a third time? Maybe a coaching call might help my situation.
Even if they do come back a 3rd time, i would completely move on at that point personally. Theyve destroyed the respect they have for you twice, and clearly dont see your value. So its likely they'll do it another.
It needs to be clear to respect your feelings and not just come hot and cold towards you, do you really want someone who's gonna keep coming in and out of your life?
I know that sounds tough and harsh but thats the reality of it.
I mean thats just my opinion but I would move on completely if I were you, stay strong
We jus broke up
Better days are coming keep your head up
I’m trying the no contact but my ex is won’t let me. She checks on me everyday on chat. How do I deal with this? Can anyone help
You dont have responsibility to answer, you dont accept friendship
Just tell her to respectfully leave you alone so you can heal and once you’re ready and if you want to, then reach out.