How to Communicate Effectively

Women SUCK at communicating... leading to feelings of being unheard and misunderstood. This can result in building walls of resentment that harm personal relationships. The root of the problem lies in unspoken expectations and the inability to say what we mean. Many women have learned to shut down their voices and keep their thoughts and feelings to themselves.

[@townfool6859]

“Unspoken expectations.”👍
As a guy, the biggest frustration is having to deal with “mind reading!”
aka, silent entrapment.
aka, “didn’t want to hurt his feelings.”
aka, partial honesty/ not all the details.
aka, non-decision making mindset- let him decide, then complain later.

[@Micurtis]

for sure, say it, mean it! A bit of compassion appreciating that women are programmed not to hurt feelings, people please, etc., but it serves no one. Creating safe space, to be honest is the way forward.

[@OneWingedShark]

The _non-decision making mindset_ is particularly insidious because women will interpret querying their preferences as "not-leading" - an excellent example is when a man says "ok, we're going out to eat; do you feel like anything in particular?" and then the woman says "anything's fine" or some other answer, then get resentful hen the man gets hamburgers instead of burritos or something, and re-interpret the as being because he wasn't "leading". Honestly, it's as if they think that "leadership" means that the leader doesn't actually inquire on his subordinates; this is an absolute absurdity, so I wonder where that thought comes from.

[@clairekirkwood8939]

I was one of 6 kids like you, 8 and a half years betweenall of us. . I was the second youngest. Lacked materially. Brought up in a family who couldn't communicate well and lashed out with their words. I was exactly like you, got reward for being a good girl!, quiet, shy, the calm one and got rewarded for it. Was so hurt inside. Find it so hard at setting boundaries, even in my 40s. Don't like letting people down but then it has a knock on effect in my life and I say yes when I want to say no. Spend too much, am tired, etc too please others and be liked. Really relate. Good advice x

[@Micurtis]

Lucky for us, we can recognize old patterns. This is half the battle- keep using your words. It does get easier, and you'll feel so much lighter. Xo-Mic

[@trolleymouse]

I might be a guy, but this was the very advice that helped me snap out of some nasty habits in my late teens, so I am all here for more people learning it.

[@Micurtis]

Thanks for your insight, I appreciate you.

[@savoirfaire6181]

Good advice.

[@Micurtis]

thank you

[@vyassathya]

finally, ive tried fixing myself so much when i get ghosted i really appreciate this. putting back agency for women

[@Micurtis]

we can ALL do better, better. Thanks!

[@BackupChannel-nq6fg]

I got bufffer at 0:07 perhaps they want to hide the truth!