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Growing Up Gay & How I Came Out
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- Опубліковано 31 лип 2024
- This was my experience coming out. I'm proud to be out and part of the LGBTQ+ community. Everyone deserves to live a life of acceptance, no matter who they love. Happy Pride!!
ig: / wicomeva
twitter: / wicomeva
Your story, specifically your connection with your parents is inspiring. The bullying you suffered is traumatic but I resonate with your story. Thank you so much for sharing 🌈❤️
Thanks for watching 🙏🏽
I’ve been seeing more men of color talk about their coming out experiences and I’m loving it 😩🤎 thanks for sharing
Also, I’m so glad you had such amazing parents… that makes me so happy knowing there are parents like that out there
Just seeing this. Thanks man 🙌🏽 I saw your video too and it def inspired me to share mine.
@@quincyjay no problem! I appreciate that, I’m glad it could help 😭
Your posts are so tactful and high in quality and I cant wait till the next one comes up. Thank you for being so professional with your videos. It sets a new tone and makes people think.
Thank you for those kind words
Thank you my little bro . . . Beautifully done. I'm glad you have such accepting parents and that you're good in your skin.
Much appreciated 🙏🏽
I have been listening to coming out stories for a few years but yours resonates with the fact about the importance of pride month and awareness in the school settings. As a gay assistant principal for Los Angeles, I believe that early practices of identity acceptance is importantly to acknowledge and honor. Listening to your story regarding your school experience solidifies why it is important to promote social emotional learning with identify awareness and honoring uniqueness by having a mandated pride month in schools.
When you said that you don’t think people should have to come out I just was so happy I’m not the only one that thinks that. It’s sad that people assume people are going to grow up “ straight”.
💯
What a great story Quincy! You're such an inspiration and I wish you all the happiness in the world!!!
Thank you, I appreciate that. ❤️🙏🏽
@@quincyjay I don't condone violence but when you told me you you stabbed that guy in the arm i was like so proud !
Thank you for sharing your experience about accepting and embracing yourself as the person you are. It certainly helps to have parents, relatives, and friends who understand what it's like to be discriminated or tabooed. One way I've phrased the question (if I were curious about how someone, I've gotten to know somewhat, self-identifies), instead of asking "are you gay"? as I had been asked many times growing up, would be "how do you self-identify in the LGBTQIA spectrum"?
I can’t believe imagine having that kind of unconditional love from my parents you are truly blessed. Thank you for sharing your story.
Thanks for watching 🙏🏽
I loved your story and how honest you are about your feelings. I'm a Caucasian man in my early 50's . I have come out to my family but some of my good friends still don't know. Thanks for sharing your story it made my day brighter. Very satisfied new subscriber. 💪💪😎🌈
Wonderful, genuine, heartfelt and inspiring coming out story. Made me subscribe.
Thank you 🙏🏽
Ur so lucky . Imagine ur gay and living in arabic country and ur muslim . Its so hard to say i m gay . Or if u have boyfriend
or African country
@@Usthereout this! 😢
Its painful
Just wild!
😢😢 so sad hugs to you everything shall be well
Thanks for sharing and looking forward to more of your journey!
A very nice story you shared. You are a great guy and deserve a good life. I am really impressed by your life and family backing.
Thank you so much for sharing this. I too am mixed (mom is black and dad is white) and I am gay. You and I have a very similar story. Especially the younger years I too did the same things. Tennis and swimming were my sports in school. I was also bullied in school. My biggest bully passed away about 10 years ago and he had a very rough life. I felt sorry for him because his upbringing must have been rough. But I will admit when I heard he died I did not feel sad.
Unfortunately I am older than you so I grew up in a different time. My parents were not accepting and downright hostile. I left home and did not speak to my parents for almost 20 years. My parents reached out and found me and today we have a pretty good relationship. I am glad your experience was better than mine that is what we were fighting for in the 80's and 90's. Your parents did a great job. I really enjoy your videos. It is nice to see a younger version of myself living his best life.
Hey Cuzzo,
Glad you shared your story! I never knew the kinds of things you went through.
Happy to see you're in a good place! Keep being you!
Much love
BABE YOU JUST KEEP A SMILE 😃 ON MY FACE 💙💙💙💙💙
Thankyou for sharing your story, very inspirational ❤
WELCOME TO NYC. ENJOY , BE BLESSED, BE SAFE. LOVE AND PEACE!
The way to beat a bully is to stand up to them, when you do that they'll never mess with you again.
Wow. You are just so relaxed and comfortable. Not to mention gorgeous. You are blessed with an amazing family. Hugs from Johannesburg
Thanks for sharing your inspirational thoughts. I too had a good experience coming out. My parents were accepting of my true self. It was the summer of 1998, I was in the Air Force Reserves attending Tech School in Mississippi. I called my parents to tell them that I had graduated and would be heading back to Detroit the next day. I told them I had some important news but it had to wait until the next day. My mom screamed, “My baby’s getting married!” I laughed so hard and told them I would call them tomorrow. After returning to Detroit I made the call and mom answered the phone. There was no hello or anything. The first thing she said was, “you’re calling to tell us your gay, aren’t you.” I bust out laughing and reminded her that she thought I was getting married the night before. It has been a positive experience ever since that day. My friends are like sons to my parents. I am truly blessed to have an accepting family.
The UA-cam algorithms brought your videos to me a couple of days ago and I enjoy watching every chance I get. Thanks for sharing your experiences in life. Much love from the City of Brotherly love.
So cool to see your podcast and UA-cam channel, Quincy. As someone who went to the same schools in the same town in Maine, I ended up leaving the high school early because I was bullied. I can't compare my experience to yours, but I faced bullying as well. I remember I was in Spanish class with you one year and I was always happy to see you there because I saw you as a positive person in a high school that I considered very toxic. As someone who has had to come back to this town for awhile, it can be tough. Though plenty of time has past and I am out as non-binary and queer now, and happy to be going by a different name now too. It's cool to see you doing well and being happy. Also the tennis team was a good outlet for me too!
Thanks for the nice comment, Lake! It’s great to hear from you and I hope you are doing well - it seems like you may be in a much better place than when we were in the same spaces way back when. I’m glad you were able to do what was best for you, but sad at how terrible people were in school. Thankfully we’ve both been able to grow past that. And thank goodness for tennis 😂😅 Wishing you all the best! ❤️❤️
@@quincyjay Thank you!!!
You are an inspiration. Thank you for sharing!
I like your presentation. One notion seemed to prevail: Intelligent people are not inundated with the personal lives of other people. They have too much to do rather than being consumed with how another person lives.
I love how you didn't really have to come out. My kids were the same with me - it just came up in a very normal conversation and we then moved on. Imagine a world where every kid/person could experience the same !!
happy pride brother
Hey! I came across this video and it really resonated with me, especially because you and I share similar stories. It breaks my heart to hear how bigoted males have reduced you to a single story and have constructed an identity for you that might not have been entirely your own had you not listened to their words. These bullies (whose ideologies are socially constructed) whole-heartedly believed that because you were different and had "feminine" qualities, you had to be (in their limited and fragmented perspective) - gay. These bullies had made and constructed your identity around their experiences and upbringing rather than givE you the space and chance to define yourself on your own terms.
Unfortunately, there are many men that become gay (yes, become) because of the labels they receive and the bullying they have experienced. This world teaches us that if men are different, aren't masculine enough, and have some feminine qualities, then they must be gay. It hurts me to hear that you only started to think you were gay because people were putting that bug in your ear. I wonder how your life would have turned out if you were never bullied and called these words. You probably would have still dated girls because no one would have been there to tell you other wise or to guide you in a different direction. I have heard stories of men joining the LGBTQIA+ community, even while being attracted to the opposite sex, because they wanted to feel loved and not judged. They wanted to be a part of something that made them feel like they belonged. I just wish the LGBTQIA+ community was not the only place where people can feel a sense of belonging. I wish we had more communities, families, systems, infrastructures in place to make all men feel safe in their mind, body, and spirit; A place that constantly reaffirms their identities and who they are as men!
It is important to know and remember that gender expression does not equate to sexual orientation. Meaning, that just because you felt safer with girls, or that you had feminine qualities, did not mean that you were/are gay. Men can have both feminine and masculine qualities and these qualities should not dictate one's sexual preference Men need to know that they can be feminine and STRAIGHT. In addition, they need to know that not all feminine men are gay and that femininity shouldn't be reserved only for same-sex attracted males.
Everything was "gay" when I was growing up, too (especially being a latino in a hispanic and black community). I was called gay for singing, dancing, acting, playing volleyball, dressing preppy, not having a deep voice, double dutching, and the list goes on and on. Everything I did was considered "gay" and I did not understand why this was the case because none of it had anything to do with my sexuality. I couldn't fathom how my passions and talents made me less of a man and by extension, same-sex attracted. There was a time, like you, when I started to consider the possibility that maybe I was gay because I finally started to believe what everyone had said about me. Thankfully, I had my grandmother who told me that I can have feminine qualities and be straight. I can have talents and passions that men don't normally have and be straight. Nothing that I did or believed should be attached to my sexual orientation. She made me believe that I was more than my sexual orientation and that my sexual preference was for me to get to define, not other people.
We have to allow men to become humans! To feel deeply, express their emotions, and encourage them to pursue their passions and talents without attaching everything they do and believe to a sexual orientation. Growing up it felt like "gay" was my name that everyone called me by and no one ever wanted to get to know the real me. I pray that more men are liberated to be themselves and to define who they are on their own terms and not the worlds.
Love your story. I also got bullied in school. Most horrible time of my life. I take my hat off to you for surviving the bully episode. I wish we all can just be equal and peaceful together the the lgbtq nation and the rest of the world. 🏳️🌈💖
I appreciate your story 😍
Truthfulness & Bravery. Powerful Combo ...! !
I’ve been following you on Twitter for a long time and I just found your YT! Your vids are so relatable! Especially this one because I also threw something at my bully haha (it was scissors lol)
Just seeing this. Wow scissors! Hardcore lol. Thanks for watching.
What a beautiful mom you have.
Why are you so perfect?? I love Scooby Doo!!! What is crazy is that I didn't realize until I started smoking at thirty-one that he and shaggy were high AF. I miss smoking so much. You're awesome..
Not perfect but thanks 🙏🏽
Hey Quincy your story was so heart felt that's for sharing and bless you and your family and by the way I can't stand a bully they are such an hater I believe that's why they do what they do cause they see a person doing what they wise or want to do , be well take care Q 🙂
You make me laugh - I know what you are/experienced - thank you for telling the truth
Very inspiring story, stay strong. 👍🏾
Thanks! 🙏🏽
So glad you have a great family. All LGBTQ+ people should have a good family and or support groups
My brother actually outed me to my parents my first year of college. But looking back It kinda ripped the bandage off.
WOW..
That part 🙂
I would love to tell my family I'm bi but at the same time I don't wanna be homeless 😕👍👍
I’m sorry that you have to make that choice 😞 I hope someday you will be able to tell them without anything in the way! ❤️
@@ted1091 exactly
When you're ready little bro, when you're ready. Meantime know that you're loved by me and by God.
😁😁😁😁
Quincy, you have such a beautiful spirit. Awesome personality!! I really love your videos! I too am a highly skilled tennis player. Wish we could play sometime! Stay sweet! Love that shirt dude!!
I’m late to this comment but thanks so much 🙏🏽
Mesmerizing beauty this dude holds.
Thanks ☺️
I just subscribed to your channel
And I must say I am learning a lot
As someone who will be 27 years next week
Still closeted and all alone
Never know someone like me in my community cause we all scared of dying
Gays are killed in Africa
Or arrested
You are given 14years when caught
I wanna say a big thank you for all you do
Thanks Quincy
Wow is use to do the same thing when I was younger 😭 wear the shirt hair, mom’s heals, also made my shirts into a skirts and I wasn’t even trying to hide it too smh except when my dad caught me trying on my moms heals 😭
Wow clearly I can’t spell *heels… 🤦🏾♂️
Your a sweet guy, thanks for your story
Great Story Quincy🤗❤🤗❤
🙏🏽 thank you ❤️
Hi Quincy I watch you on here and you are very handsome and just watched your coming out story and your struggles and your wonderful parents
I came out in my mid thirties to my student nursing group they were great my father was sweet about it and accepted me sadly my mom had passed away I felt protected being a nurse I’ve had three long term relationships but am now settled with my man Joey who I love very much ❤ your a really cool guy and your great to watch 👍
Appreciate your views
Very inspiring 👏
I feel you
Great coming out story
love
Can so relate to the bullying at school. Been there too.
💙
You are very lucky not all of us have open minded parents like you. My coming out experience was different. I grew up in a very conservative family. So growing up gay was not easy. My family is not very happy about me being gay. They still love me, they accept they just don’t like my homosexuality. My mom is very catholic my dad is also very catholic and old fashioned. They don’t tell me how to live my life anymore because I am an adult now, they respect that but they just don’t like my homosexuality.
Handsome as well!!!!!!!
I'm 47 and I used to put shirts on my head so I could have "hair", and I used to put on my sisters' dresses and shoes. So, you're definitely speakin' to me, to many, many of us. Hell, I still put shirts on my head!!!! LOL! Thank you for sharing your story.
You just spoke about my childhood here darling
Tho I do it in secret cause I am from a very strict and religious culture as an African
Gays are arrested or sometimes killed by people of the community
I will he 27years next week
Still in the dark
Still closeted cause am scared
Still haven't met other people Like me
It feels lonely
So I watch UA-cam so I know am not alone
❤
the more I watch your vids, the more inspired they get.
Thanks!
I agree. One word to describe you is INSPIRATIONAL. WOW. I have goose bumps!
I did have a dollhouse as a kid, but I had it to practice of how I wanted my own place when I grew up. I didn't know anything about being gay then, but my dad cautioned my mom to tell me not to have one because he thought I would turn gay. I think the feelings I have towards men have nothing to do with my childhood interests. Besides, the worst relationships I have had(I mean working and school relationships.) have been with men. To end this, I am biracial too.
How lucky ❤
I did have a dollhouse as a kid, but I had it to practice of how I wanted my own place when I grew up. I didn't know anything about being gay then, but my dad cautioned my mom to tell me not to have one because he thought I would turn gay. I also used to watch daytime soap operas as a kid and my dad thought that those were for girls and didn't believe I should watch them. I think the sexual feelings I have towards men have nothing to do with my childhood interests. Besides, the worst relationships I have had(I mean working and school relationships.) have been with men. To end this, I am biracial too.
Yup
❤❤
Coming Out? Where have you been! I can't remember when/where/how I came? I never showed the world at large, 'shit,' on purpose but simply letting them figure it out the best way they can & painfully as hell I hope since they had to be concerned to begin with? I was me and went about my business and let the world at large worry about it! F***k'm was my thing! I moved & grooved into my own glory!
I definitely did the shirt over the head and pretended it was my hair. I used my pink power ranger pajama shirt 😂
Excellent
How do you feel now that you've come out. Or now that you're walking in your own truth? Are you mentally and emotionally secure with yourself?
Sending love out to you. ..❤
❤️❤️
Wait this video just made me realize some stuff about myself
Great video
You are the best 💕💕💕💕
❤️
@@quincyjay 🤗🤗💘💘💘
I love tennis too Quincy. Gymnastics is the best, I wish I did gymnastics.
Knowing that you are gay is difficult and to grow up in a church that believes you are a sinner is even rough. That was my upbringing but I have a better relationship with Christ now. I wish the church was better but that is my responsibility to make it better. But yeah, being out as a full black man in the church was hell. Hell.
Here, may this wisdoms leads you to a better life for you and your loved ones:-
"See the world not as it is, but as it should be."
"Nobody should ever feel belittled for whoever they love".
"Religion is about *PEACE* and *MERCY* of God."
"When you get to God, He will never judge you based on your sexuality. He will judge and look at you, based on what type of a person you are."
"God loves us beyond any and everything else, and that’s who we should love first."
"You're entitled to love whoever you want to, the way that you want to, without the judgement of anyone else."
"And in the sight of God, *KINDNESS* and *LOVE* are the highest priority."
How tall are you? I hope I run into you in Manhattan or bx
Your story has a lot of similarity to mine and many other people I think ❤️🤞🏼😊
Love to hear it
Hello quincy, I wanted to tell you that I like your eyes and your laugh, because you have tender eyes and a beautiful laugh.🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🤩
Very cool and nice..
Nice voice!!!!!!!!
When I was a boy about ten we got to know a family who were physician colleagues of my mother. They had a son Jon a year or so younger than me and a daughter Lynn two years younger. Unlike with other kids where I had almost no real friendships things some how really clicked with the three of us. Then one June evening several years later I was invited down for the weekend. Jon and I spent the night in sleeping bags out by their barn. At `12 he was starting to have feelings and he reached in to touch me and I responded. We were both totally innocent but for me it happened and I couldn't explain it. Then we moved and left town but stayed in touch with the family. At 18 I was invited up to their summer place off shore in Vinal Haven, but Jon had been called away to help out with something so I never saw him again.
Years later we heard he had been kicked out of a prestigious college for raping another boy and from there his life went down hill in anger.
He had moved to lower Manhattan in the early 1980s and almost certainly died of AIDS and his body wound up in Potter's Field an island off the Bronx. I felt very sorry for his parents and sister but could never find words of comfort in sorrow. Seemingly he had the best in a loving family. I never felt attracted to any other boy and Lynn being several years younger might not have cared for me. But in those times nothing was ever said or acknowledged. I have a difficult time with cross race relations that may verge on exploitation so I think it a poor idea.
Why do you kinda favor Marques Houston! I see Roger in you, from Sister, Sister.
And you're very handsome btw❤❤
🙏🏽❤️
❤🤗
🥰
You sound like youre from maine. Idk why ive always thought you had a dominican accent
Cute , very cute !!!!.....
Great video by a nice guy!
Thanks!
The ones who bully, are the ones who r hurted the most' thanks for the history and background which i'd a similar story @Quincy
Handsome
I want you to just be yourself man
great skin
Hi, Q, what is your nationality
American
You are definitely a good-lookin dude. In addition to your very nice body, you are handsome and have beautiful teeth, and thus a beautiful smile. You’re a good catch for some lucky dude.
👍🏾❤🖤💚💛🌅
I'm Gay, and I'd love to meet you Quincy, but I'm quite alpha male, I'm white. I like Queen and Bowie.
Isn't funny how we waste so much time worrying about what other people think of us. We can never just be ourselves. Life is too short to let this happen all the time.
My Brother you are love your video is beautiful and god love you and god love his children love your life be happy you are handsome looking Brother.💞💙💞💙🙏💙🌈☀🌈💕💙💞
Wait but who is your brother
How old is your brother? Is he older than you?
Yes, 28
@@quincyjay Wow, is you're brother as sexy as you?
You're so handsome! Single? 😉 I live in New York.
I-