You repressed your soul for 20 years, but you're alive now. I've repressed mine for 76 years and I've never been alive. The only power that can resurrect me is God, and if He doesn't do it, I am not, were not, and never will be, despite a life rich in acclaim, honors, success and a loving estended family. The start was molestation in the crib. Shame must be the principal circuit in my brain and I'm no electrician. The only thing I've really done for others is a technical education and an abundance of compasion. I love the world (its people) and perhaps that is life, but its a lonely life because love needs to be a two-way street. Bless you for having had the grace and courage to live.
I'm so sorry, mine was really hard and though I did came out, it didn't go easy at all, with many dark, painful moments for the decades. However, being deeply interested in all things parnormal, occult and loving many studies, it helped me a lot to survive through it all. Having had to move to a hinterland city out of work and now trying to make ends meet as a retiree without affording to move to a big city where I could possibly feel less oppressed, I can somehow relate but only know how hard it's been for you. Know that you're not alone though, we're all over the web from all corners of the planet!😇🙏🙏
@@joalexsg9741 Thank you, joal. I life in a small southern town, so I know about being "oppressed." It's why I never came out, hardly even to myself. Sometimes I feel like I've lived my life without ever saying, "Hello." The only constant in my life has been two words that came into my mind when I was 24, never since. But the words were matter of fact and very powerful, generating scalding tears and spasms in the gut and then a life of productivity, at least. There was absolutely no change in my desire for men instead of women. But I never said a word, I never said "hello." I wait on that "hello" from the Maker Himself.
so sorry to read that you were molested. I wonder if the same thing or something horrible happened to me when I was 3, after I tricycled 3 miles away on a gravel road and still don't know how I got home. Years later, when I finally told my Tough Love ePiLePTiC mother about this, she Said, " STOP Making Up Stories !" She also Denied Ever ' Touching ' me when. I was 4 and accidentally bumped into her coffee table when we Lived in our 5th of 10 more PMQs CFB Rivers Manitoba - Little Base on the Prairies until I was 10, while my younger brother was chasing in me knocking her cheap ashtray off, which broke and then she suddenly grabbed, dragged and stripped me naked , beating me with her strap as I stood on my bed, not even breathing let alone thinking to say stop ! And people wonder why I don't want to write a book. However, because her ' perfect ' MuDdLeD 'klass' Peasant Ukrainian Canadian 'f@miLLy' has a Gay Alcoholic Hair $tylist, she guessed and asked me if I was gay, after calling her in my 30s, as I said I ' understood ' her ' Perfect ' Nephew, David I could never accept being labelled a " Fag ! " by my brother when I was 8 and Terrified of our Mother's Violent Rage over our Father's Drinking in the ' Royal ' Canadian Airforce, as growing up Catholic, Shamed and Shunned by my Air Canada Pontiu$ Pilot of a 'brother' and Nastier Condescending Persnickety Sarcastic 'sister', who married ' up' to a Doctor , when she was 35, who also no longer contacts me since our Mother died in 2018, and who puts me down Worse than our Mother, who Beat up our Hard Working Long Suffering in Stoic Silence ' Royal ' Canadian Airforce Private - Sargeant Mechanic Airforce turned Janitor Drinking + Later Gambling Father, Mentally, Emotionally, Verbally+ Physically every second day for 60 years for being " GODD@MNED GERMANS ?, which is why you all like to FIGHT !!", however it was Ghenghis Khan's Great Great Great Great Great UNgreat Grand daughter whose Perfection Demanding Criticisms and S@RC@SM STARTED @LL The 'FiGhTs My Tough ' Love ' Virgo Leo Rising Gemini moon Mad mother often called my Father a " Stupid Goof ! " And Laughed at his Suppressed Anxiety Ridden passive Aggressive Panic or " a Goddamned Stupid Pollack !" However thanks to the internet, I have come to know that both of my parents were both Polish and my mother's ' f@miLLy' are noT really Ukr⚒️nians, until after WW I when her parents left in 1920 and Never Returned because of The Soviets and Poverty. She and her 'sister' were Born in The British Hempire of ' c🇬🇧n🍁d🇬🇧', where my Canadian BC born mother was Beaten with a Leather Strap on her then 5 year old hand for accidentally answering a Nun in Ukrainian instead of English in 1942 HeLLbErT@ and Never taught us a word of her 'f@miLLy's ' language so that none of us would know The Truth about her Abusive CPR🚂iLw🇬🇧Y 5 cents/ 12 - 16 hour day " supervisor ! " of a gr. 12 educated immigrant Ukrainian father who Beat up her gr. 1 educated mother , who at 16, had to get "..married and buried '!" This is how my Mother Talked about Marriage , which her married again mother Told her to Marry my Father 5 years after her ' Father ', Died when she was 13 She later Laughed about what lay ahead for me when I was a ' teenager', but I knew at ,8 that I would " NEVER Get Married ,!" and TOLD me as a ' teenager's and adult to " Get The Hell Out ! " of our first real ' home' 6 months after I wall papered every room in 'our' tiny home in the Dead of Winter ' Your ' Father's NOTHiNG but a GODD@MNED Alcoholic + Sex Maniac ! He shouldn't have had a dog, let alone a wife and three kids ! he should have 'lived' @LONE Like You !" , she Said after I called her again on the phone 1 month before she ballooned up with Cancer, January 2018 I always felt Dead inside, as I knew I was Doomed to HELL by our Catholic Divided 'f@miLLy '' GET THE HELL OUT OF MY FAMiLY !! Go to your 'Father's in www.wilno.com where there's So Much ' Love '.
Monday January 22, 2024 11:45 pm so sorry to read that you were molested. I wonder if the same thing or something horrible happened to me when I was 3, after I tricycled 3 miles away on a gravel road and still don't know how I got home. Years later, when I finally told my Tough Love ePiLePTiC mother about this, she Said, " STOP Making Up Stories !" She also Denied Ever ' Touching ' me when. I was 4 and accidentally bumped into her coffee table when we Lived in our 5th of 10 more PMQs CFB Rivers Manitoba - Little Base on the Prairies until I was 10, while my younger brother was chasing in me knocking her cheap ashtray off, which broke and then she suddenly grabbed, dragged and stripped me naked , beating me with her strap as I stood on my bed, not even breathing let alone thinking to say stop ! And people wonder why I don't want to write a book. However, because her ' perfect ' MuDdLeD 'klass' Peasant Ukrainian Canadian 'f@miLLy' has a Gay Alcoholic Hair $tylist, she guessed and asked me if I was gay, after calling her in my 30s, as I said I ' understood ' her ' Perfect ' Nephew, David I could never accept being labelled a " Fag ! " by my brother when I was 8 and Terrified of our Mother's Violent Rage over our Father's Drinking in the ' Royal ' Canadian Airforce, as growing up Catholic, Shamed and Shunned by my Air Canada Pontiu$ Pilot of a 'brother' and Nastier Condescending Persnickety Sarcastic 'sister', who married ' up' to a Doctor , when she was 35, who also no longer contacts me since our Mother died in 2018, and who puts me down Worse than our Mother, who Beat up our Hard Working Long Suffering in Stoic Silence ' Royal ' Canadian Airforce Private - Sargeant Mechanic Airforce turned Janitor Drinking + Later Gambling Father, Mentally, Emotionally, Verbally+ Physically every second day for 60 years for being " GODD@MNED GERMANS ?, which is why you all like to FIGHT !!", however it was Ghenghis Khan's Great Great Great Great Great UNgreat Grand daughter whose Perfection Demanding Criticisms and S@RC@SM STARTED @LL The 'FiGhTs My Tough ' Love ' Virgo Leo Rising Gemini moon Mad mother often called my Father a " Stupid Goof ! " And Laughed at his Suppressed Anxiety Ridden passive Aggressive Panic or " a Goddamned Stupid Pollack !" However thanks to the internet, I have come to know that both of my parents were both Polish and my mother's ' f@miLLy' are noT really Ukr⚒️nians, until after WW I when her parents left in 1920 and Never Returned because of The Soviets and Poverty. She and her 'sister' were Born in The British Hempire of ' c🇬🇧n🍁d🇬🇧', where my Canadian BC born mother was Beaten with a Leather Strap on her then 5 year old hand for accidentally answering a Nun in Ukrainian instead of English in 1942 HeLLbErT@ and Never taught us a word of her 'f@miLLy's ' language so that none of us would know The Truth about her Abusive CPR🚂iLw🇬🇧Y 5 cents/ 12 - 16 hour day " supervisor ! " of a gr. 12 educated immigrant Ukrainian father who Beat up her gr. 1 educated mother , who at 16, had to get "..married and buried '!" This is how my Mother Talked about Marriage , which her married again mother Told her to Marry my Father 5 years after her ' Father ', Died when she was 13 She later Laughed about what lay ahead for me when I was a ' teenager', but I knew at ,8 that I would " NEVER Get Married ,!" and TOLD me as a ' teenager's and adult to " Get The Hell Out ! " of our first real ' home' 6 months after I wall papered every room in 'our' tiny home in the Dead of Winter ' Your ' Father's NOTHiNG but a GODD@MNED Alcoholic + Sex Maniac ! He shouldn't have had a dog, let alone a wife and three kids ! he should have 'lived' @LONE Like You !" , she Said after I called her again on the phone 1 month before she ballooned up with Cancer, January 2018 I always felt Dead inside, as I knew I was Doomed to HELL by our Catholic Divided 'f@miLLy '' GET THE HELL OUT OF MY FAMiLY !! Go to your 'Father's in www.wilno.com where there's So Much ' Love '.
Monday January 22, 2024 11:45 pm so sorry to read that you were molested. I wonder if the same thing or something horrible happened to me when I was 3, after I tricycled 3 miles away on a gravel road and still don't know how I got home. Years later, when I finally told my Tough Love ePiLePTiC mother about this, she Said, " STOP Making Up Stories !" She also Denied Ever ' Touching ' me when. I was 4 and accidentally bumped into her coffee table when we Lived in our 5th of 10 more PMQs CFB Rivers Manitoba - Little Base on the Prairies until I was 10, while my younger brother was chasing in me knocking her cheap ashtray off, which broke and then she suddenly grabbed, dragged and stripped me naked , beating me with her strap as I stood on my bed, not even breathing let alone thinking to say stop ! And people wonder why I don't want to write a book. However, because her ' perfect ' MuDdLeD 'klass' Peasant Ukrainian Canadian 'f@miLLy' has a Gay Alcoholic Hair $tylist, she guessed and asked me if I was gay, after calling her in my 30s, as I said I ' understood ' her ' Perfect ' Nephew, David I could never accept being labelled a " Fag ! " by my brother when I was 8 and Terrified of our Mother's Violent Rage over our Father's Drinking in the ' Royal ' Canadian Airforce, as growing up Catholic, Shamed and Shunned by my Air Canada Pontiu$ Pilot of a 'brother' and Nastier Condescending Persnickety Sarcastic 'sister', who married ' up' to a Doctor , when she was 35, who also no longer contacts me since our Mother died in 2018, and who puts me down Worse than our Mother, who Beat up our Hard Working Long Suffering in Stoic Silence ' Royal ' Canadian Airforce Private - Sargeant Mechanic Airforce turned Janitor Drinking + Later Gambling Father, Mentally, Emotionally, Verbally+ Physically every second day for 60 years for being " GODD@MNED GERMANS ?, which is why you all like to FIGHT !!", however it was Ghenghis Khan's Great Great Great Great Great UNgreat Grand daughter whose Perfection Demanding Criticisms and S@RC@SM STARTED @LL The 'FiGhTs My Tough ' Love ' Virgo Leo Rising Gemini moon Mad mother often called my Father a " Stupid Goof ! " And Laughed at his Suppressed Anxiety Ridden passive Aggressive Panic or " a Goddamned Stupid Pollack !" However thanks to the internet, I have come to know that both of my parents were both Polish and my mother's ' f@miLLy' are noT really Ukr⚒️nians, until after WW I when her parents left in 1920 and Never Returned because of The Soviets and Poverty. She and her 'sister' were Born in The British Hempire of ' c🇬🇧n🍁d🇬🇧', where my Canadian BC born mother was Beaten with a Leather Strap on her then 5 year old hand for accidentally answering a Nun in Ukrainian instead of English in 1942 HeLLbErT@ and Never taught us a word of her 'f@miLLy's ' language so that none of us would know The Truth about her Abusive CPR🚂iLw🇬🇧Y 5 cents/ 12 - 16 hour day " supervisor ! " of a gr. 12 educated immigrant Ukrainian father who Beat up her gr. 1 educated mother , who at 16, had to get "..married and buried '!" This is how my Mother Talked about Marriage , which her married again mother Told her to Marry my Father 5 years after her ' Father ', Died when she was 13 She later Laughed about what lay ahead for me when I was a ' teenager', but I knew at ,8 that I would " NEVER Get Married ,!" and TOLD me as a ' teenager's and adult to " Get The Hell Out ! " of our first real ' home' 6 months after I wall papered every room in 'our' tiny home in the Dead of Winter ' Your ' Father's NOTHiNG but a GODD@MNED Alcoholic + Sex Maniac ! He shouldn't have had a dog, let alone a wife and three kids ! he should have 'lived' @LONE Like You !" , she Said after I called her again on the phone 1 month before she ballooned up with Cancer, January 2018 I always felt Dead inside, as I knew I was Doomed to HELL by our Catholic Divided 'f@miLLy '' GET THE HELL OUT OF MY FAMiLY !! Go to your 'Father's in www.wilno.com where there's So Much ' Love '.
Your story made me cry. I have a daughter who is 13 and came out to me in a note. She said that she couldn’t face me. My heart broke and I had to wait see her...school. I told her I did not care who she loved as long as they treat her with love, respect and kindness. I told her I have your back, no matter what! Then she sighed. I have a sister that is gay and she is married...I LOVE them all. I joined Free Mom Hugs....a group that helps LGBTQ and their families. Thank you for opening your life up to strangers and sharing your story. I wish I could hug you.
Your comment almost made me cry. The fact that someone’s mom took time to watch an entire 25 minute coming out story on UA-cam after her daughter came out to her shows right away what kind of mom you are and makes me so happy and proud that my video is reaching and having an impact on amazing people like you. Thank you. ♥️
@@isthatnems I think what really effected me is the fact my husband’s family is from India and my family is Catholic and from U.S. I told her that it was her story to tell , so when she is ready to tell the world I will be there cheering her now. When my daughter decided “to come out of the closet” I posted a photo of her under a rainbow flag. My family was supportive (which surprised me) but my husband’s family did not even acknowledge the post. As it turns out the Indian side, had two teenagers that came out to me, before their parents were told. I told my daughter, at least she is not living a lie, and now she can be HERSELF! 🏳️🌈♥️🌈♥️
@@kellymaganti5935 you are a great mom. We all wished we had mothers like you. I couldn’t even tell my mom I had married the man of my dreams before she passed away. I just knew it wasn’t in her to be accepting. It doesn’t mean I didn’t love her, but her upbringing was so super religious and dogmatic, that I didn’t think she could handle it. You are a role model for what a parent should do in this circumstance and I appreciate you.
@@bogdancristian6758 LOVE ALWAYS JUDGE! And RIGHTSEOULSY thereof. LOVE IS RIGHTEOUS JUDGMENT. And BIBLE never banned it: John 7:24 Judge not according to the appearance, but judge righteous judgment. Matthew 7:2 - For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again. John 15:13 - Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. The whole BIBLE is loving, because it RIGHTEOUSLY judging us and calling us all to REPENTANCE.
Part of your life goals may be to get away from that toxic environment. My husband did that- it made every difference in his life- and I am one grateful recipient of this courageous man's decision. It may be hard to realize but your decision may not only make your life happier but that of someone else as well.
💪🏽well I’ve heard several ‘coming out’ journeys using this social media platform, it’s interesting. You just told a story that is purdy much my own. I lasted till I was after I was 21, and even then I wasn’t really open about deeply guarded feelings. To this day I don’t make an issue of it one way or another, I don’t of my own initiative bring it up, I’m not compelled to ‘clear it up’, however I don’t deny or fully confirm a status. Truth is, my only real struggle that of my relationship with God, which , which is foolish to deny. I didn’t grow up with a dad, had a stepdad through high school. I woke up one night and he was in our bed room, I shared w/two bros, going from bed to bed. Long story short, when we came back to the U.S. w/in the first year divorce was in process. I didn’t hate him but it was hard to respect him. I still feel like sex and what I call private life, is just that... private, it CAN be a slippery slope. If confronted I can defend myself and who I am, but it has to come to me, I don’t wave the rainbow banner and I reserve judgment. I don’t wave the Hetero/redneck banner either, I find that to be a false narrative also. I’m not, and refuse to be an in your face “gay agenda” pusher. I’ve watched friends of mine, and the gay community transform into the very monster they set out to overcome, a sort of all or nothing militant mentality, I have a hard time respecting that too. Again, my struggle is with my understanding, and relationship with God. I appreciate the way you tell your story, it’s real, it’s true and it doesn’t demonize or condemn. I think Thats the best we can hope for in a world so widely divided, and people polarized by things that quite often don’t fully understand, and people willing to appose the search for real truth, even their own. I’ll leave it there for now. Be strong, be true...God bless you , give you peace and direct your ways🔥💜🕊
This is one of the most honest things I have ever seen,,,,I can totally relate to everything he has said…and I am a 68 year old man that experienced everything that he said! My heart goes out to you…you are wonderful!
Going on 64 and though being non binary made mine quite harder, I also feel glad when I see these youths getting out of the closet in a social environment safe enough for them to live their sexual-affective lives as due, freely.
Actually, I’m 77 yrs gay man and I enjoyed your video! I know people struggling with coming out will find your video very helpful. Thank you for your integrity, honesty and openness. Your future will be very successful. 😎
But you’re 70! You shouldn’t be afraid to come out ! Specifically at your age! I’ll be 56 I’am married! I had my first gay experience w my cousin! It was Amy! But I couldn’t find anyone else! So I thought I should get married! I miss having that sexual connection with a guy again! I see myself fantasizing about gay sex with a total stranger! Like in a public restroom! I see myself craving it even though Imt married! I even went to of those adult sty to find some!
I’m glad you are offering advice to any young man who felt the same way you did. I always thought I was in the minority feeling as I did so young. I remember feeling “different” when I was 4 as well. I knew it involved men, and I knew not to ask anyone about it. I had a rough time in school too, it wasn’t a fun adolescence. I met someone after high school and was attending a local college. I didn’t want my parents to meet my new “friend” because of the age difference, but after almost a year they forced the subject, I came out to them, and they threw me out. It was a tough time. I had to quit school, get a full time job and start my life. It was hard, especially since AIDS was just emerging in the U.S., and I had to be very careful. I struggled for a few years, dating different guys. I also attended a few funerals. I was beginning to think I’d never find what I wanted, a relationship with someone I loved, and who loved me equally. I started seeing a counselor who made me realize I wasn’t a bad guy, and to not take things so seriously. I was getting along with my parents, they still had a hard time, but I told them I already went through realizing I was gay and accepted it. Now it was their turn. When I least expected it, I met a handsome guy who asked me out. I thought maybe it still wasn’t my time, but I decided to try the relationship thing once more. We were approaching 1 year together. He became a little nervous and broke up with me. I was angry, but he called a week later asking me to forgive him. My parents really enjoyed being around him. Time went by and we were coming to our 10th anniversary. My parents asked if we’d like to go on a cruise with them to celebrate. We had a wonderful time A few years later we had to move for a new job offer for him. It was hard on my folks as well as his. It was the right choice, but our parents were still 800 miles away. His dad passed away a few years later, then both our moms died a few months apart. We decided to buy a house since our move was permanent. We also made our relationship permanent and got married in a different state. My dad was happy for us. Then a year later he passed away suddenly. It was tough. A few months after his death I was diagnosed with stage3 cancer. We had a new battle challenging us. I got through it, barely. I still have problems, but I still have my husband. We’re going on a trip this coming autumn to celebrate our 33rd anniversary. I hope you find everything you are looking for in your life. Good luck to you and Happy Pride!
Thank you for sharing your story. I remember realizing gay love is just live when my gay friends relationships started lasting longer than straight couples!
My husband is from balkan too Macedonia, but luckily he was never bullied and he is not someone who could hide it. But he was very smart and was able to get scholarship to this private turkish school where kids were not mean.He came out to his immediate family and they came to terms with it, now they just love us. I am glad you are finally able to be yourself. Enjoy your freedom ! ❤️
Your message of Coming Out was beautiful. I came out in 1976 at 21. My mom didn’t accept me but my dad who went through Nazi Germany and was in the Resistance against Hitler DID accept me and encouraged me. I live on Long Island in New York but grew up very European mentality. My dad was from Berlin. He taught me to be true to myself. I came out 7 years after Stonewall riots and many of my friends were part of the Stonewall uprising. We are all older now and stories like yours make all of our protests etc. and the AIDS crisis and losses to see the youth of today be so BRAVE worthwhile. Thank you because you make our lives worthwhile. Your extended gay family member, Kurt ❤❤❤❤🎉🎉🎉🎉
Your aura, ability to speak well was refreshing. Also, naturally a beautiful man. Im 29, came out publicly at 13. I know what rough times feel like. And so many of us post videos and share stories about our experiences. That helps people a lot who need support. So keeping the subject open really makes a difference for those who are in a dangerous situation to come our or if they are out and everyday is hell for them. A serious, raw and down to earth video like this can save lives . Ive did my videos and helping LGBT youth here in Memphis TN. You're a shining star to those in the dark or in a low time. May life continue to bless you .
Your story is compelling. I’m happy you found your own path to coming out without trauma. You are a beautiful man and you are definitely a man of maturity and self awareness. Sending hugs to you
Great video. I'm so happy that you're coming out turned out a lot to be easier than you thought it might be. I'm 70 years old and have been with my partner for 42 years and happily out with all my family and friends. But even with all the progress and acceptance our community now enjoys I believe it's everyone's personal choice when they choose to come out.
I know that what it's important here is his coming out story, but I can't stop staring at his beautiful and perfect face and the softness of his voice and charisma. 😍
Going on 64, it makes me relieved to know that even those who live in apparently more accepting societies but haven't gotten out of the closet yet finally get the courage to do so. Social pressure can still exist in very subtle ways even in our modern big cities, let alone in the hinterland of the western world. You do well sharing your story, it'll certainly help many to find their paths in life! Following your channel, giving the due thumbs-up and sharing! Have a magical New Year.😇🙏
Hvala na ovom videu! Prvi put čujem neku sličnu priču svojoj ovde i prvi put da vidim neki "coming out" video koji mi je blizak. Taj osećaj kad znaš od vrtića, a odrastaš na ovim prostorima i negiraš sebi i svima do faksa... Drago mi je što si imao priliku da odeš iz ovog okruženja bar na kratko i sam se sebi outuješ. Svaka čast tvojoj majci :)
Great video. I am 69 years old, but so much of what you said, even though your experiences were different from my own and mine was a different era...but your story resonated with me. I only came out to my parents (via a letter i sent them) when my first partner of 4 years broke up with me and i couldn't bare to let them think that he hadn't been just a friend to me for 4 years. It struck me that you have total recall of the events that led up to your coming out. Ironically, i kept a daily diary since the time i was 11 years old until the present day; and it is now priceless to me to read those daily writings of an innocent little kid (me) who for a long time didn't have a clue why my classmates would call me a "fairy" and i for a long time had to pretend to be something that i wasn't. I came out to myself on my 21st birthday by going out to the bars. It has been quite a journey of self-discovery. I am now in a very satisfying relationship with an Asian guy. I am more comfortable with him on so many levels than i ever have been with anyone else. Sometimes i think we all "peak" in terms of luck, happiness, etc at different times in our lives. If this is so, then i certainly am glad that life saved it's best for me at this time in my life. I see you posted this video about a year ago and maybe you have other videos. Thank you for a heartfelt story. I loved it! 😂😊
I'm 54 and haven't come out. My father passed away in 1999 and my mother passed away in 2020. I told neither, and I have no regrets. When I was over a month before my 4th birthday, my maternal grandfather told me that I was just like his brother Sam. His brother Sam was gay. I'm from a Catholic family, and no one talks about such things.
@@Brandonson80I've learned to deal with it. I had boyfriends in grammar school and high school. Just before I started college, I told my grandmother I was giving up boys, because I had to take care of my mother. I sacrificed my own life for my mother. Honor thy father and thy mother, so I figure God will take care of me.
@@Brandonson80My first gay boyfriend was in kindergarten. He was my first crush too. I know someone who says they became gay at 17. I can't understand that. I was from 3, when I kissed and grabbed my cousin. In kindergarten I had my first crush, and I kissed him.
@@markgordon5387 That's very honorable friend. Has He? Taken care of you that is? I love in the south and always knew Something was different. I'm 43 now and still have problems accepting this as a reality.
@@Brandonson80 The two boys from grammar school never kept in touch, on one committed suicide at age 49. I high school, I had a friend at school, but I broke it off, he cried. I didn't cry until I was home... going to bed. He cried then, 1987, and I have cried regularly since. He's in law enforcement now, and lives with a boyfriend.
I have a son that is 9 that has gay tendencies. I feel like I shouldn’t tell him that I notice it. I want him to make that decision for himself because I feel like too many parents hop on the gay train with their children and say things to influence their child’s sexuality. I feel like he’ll find himself when he finds himself. And whatever he decides I’ll be there to embrace him and love him no matter what
I think that's a good way to look at it. I would encourage you to let him know in non-personal ways that you have no problem with it. For example, my parents were both professional musicians and they had dear gay friends. My mom never said bad things about it, and never talked about the fact that so and so was gay in ang "sensationalistic" ways. My dad on the other hand, seemed to have the need to talk about gay folk (in general) as people who would "recruit young people," and what he would do anyone who ever tried doing that to us. Guess which parent I felt more comfortable coming out to? 😏 Since dad had not rejected his gay friends, it wasn't like I thought he would reject me. But hearing that kind of talk from him growing up did make it scarier for me.
I personally am still not 100% out (a bit because I don't even know my sexuality 100%) but I do live in a house similar to what you described (at least from how you worded it in your mail). I will tell you the biggest barriers that made/make me more hesitant coming out in the hopes that you find some very passive way to help your son IF he wants to come out (if he is LGBTQ+ at all in the end): 1. We didn't really watch a lot of movies/shows in general, mostly because my parents aren't really into that. Because of this we never watched a single movie/show with an LGBTQ+ character in it and combined with the fact that I (and from what I know my parents) know nobody in your community that is LGBTQ+ I (even with knowing that my parents are very open/modern) never had a point of reference how they felt about that. My recommendation based on this would then be to watch a movie/series which is completely normal in any regard besides that it has a character in it that is gay/queer, so not something that is based on LGBTQ+ (no Heartstopper, Love, Simon or similar) but simply something that is normal and popular (and not focused on romance specifically) like, I know it is not age appropriate for 9 but it is the first series that comes to mind, Stranger Things. Just talk about any LGBTQ+ Character the way you would talk about any other character 2. The second BIG problem was that, because nobody in your community was LGBTQ and they didn't watch much modern media my parents are completely uneducated about LGBTQ (my mom at least didn't even know until about a year ago what LGBTQ stood for and hasn't heard it before 😂). So what I would personally suggest is to do just a bit of research (which based on the fact that you landed on this video you probably already know a lot more) and then use that knowledge like any other person would use it if this topic ever comes up in conversations (for example for us it came up in the news and my parents were completely clueless which is not very fun if you plan to come out to them at some point and all they know is gay). No need to actively start any conversation but if one comes up you seem informed and open to the topic 3. At last a tip from at least my perspective what could be A SIGN that a coming out is coming closer and that any kid/Teenager is starting to accept their sexuality (it was at least the case for me). It is simply when they start slipping in LGBTQ topics in conversations. One time it might be a character in a movie/show, a friend/person from the community that is out or has come out or the current news like book-bans in the US or similar. At least from my experience that could be testing the waters about the reactions to these topics. This is obviously less needed and less intense if they already feel at least somewhat safe how you align (as demonstrated by the points above) but even if they feel quite sure it is alright with you there will always be a bit of doubt. For this obviously point 2 is also very helpful since you can have a normal conversation with them about the topic they choose and talk about it as long as they want to without knowledge-gabs or worse, misunderstandings. Of course those are ONLY MY EXPERIENCES and based on the fact that we most likely don't even live in the same country these could still be different for you and your son (if anybody else has anything to criticize or add, feel free) but I still wanted to write them because I think any bit however simple they are help and I DO THINK going more active is not the right decision (especially for kids/teens). I really hope that both you and your son will be very close no matter if he actually is LGBTQ or not and when he decides to tell you (if he is LGBTQ) 🏳️🌈
As a mom of a daughter on LGBTQ....Love them, Support them and always be there to answer any questions and if you don't know the answer be honest. Tell him you will try to find the answers. Teach him to be proud and confident of who he is.
Not sure what gay tendencies mean. Do you mean he blushes at guys? Personality doesn’t reflect your romantic interest. I thought we broke down those stereotypes 8 years ago.
9 can be quite aware these days. When other hate, speak compassionately, never presume the meaning of "dating." "Just Friends" is about as positive an image in an accepting family that I've ever seen. I think I could have gotten the point even at 9. It's also very funny, well acted, and without a gloomy ending. I love to watch it because it help me celebrate a vicariously a youth I never had.
I am 22,gay and also from the south Balkans. It's such a big issue to get accepted there. I know how hard it is to come out,especially when you know that wouldn't get accepted. You are so brave to be so open with ur story. Greetings from Germany❤
Well if you‘re in Germany you are at least safe and you‘ll make friends who are supportive. One of my friends is from Belgrad, the hostility he faces in such a cosmopolitan city is mindblowing.
@@MFUA-cam683 All my friends were homophobic and were from the Balkans,Turkey and Middle East. I got beaten every day. My family destroyed my life and even the ordinary germans Teens insulted&bullied me in school for being gay. Nowadays the homophobia is even much worse in Germany than 10 years ago😢
My Bulgarian friend is closet gay, and says it's so difficult. Sofia, however, just had its first pride parade. Hopefully, it's a sign of things to come.
I am so happy for you that you had the courage to come out when you did. I didn't have that courage. I was raised in a conservative religious family, where being gay was not acceptable. So I did what I thought I had to do, and got married to a woman. We raised two sons together. I am now 68 years old. I was outed by a niece on my wife's side of the family, who saw me coming out of a gay bar one night. My wife passed away a year ago from altzheimer's dementia. I have lost most of the old friendships that we had because of me being gay. So I am trying to make new gay friends to relate too. It has really been hard. My one son still relates to me, but does not agree with my living my gay life. My other son has full out rejected me, which is really hard, because he and his wife has two daughters. So I cannot be in my granddaughters lives. I'm glad that you had the courage to come out and be who you really are when you are still young. I think it is starting to be easier for young gay guys to come out, than it was, but it is still a difficult thing to do.
In college, 1969-1972, I had the love of my life. Our relationship ended when we graduated. I was depressed, lonely and devastated. A gay relationship was not sustainable in those days of conservative midwest USA. I went the hetero route and married a girl....Jim did the same. I am still married to the same woman, two adult children and seven grandchildren. Jim is still married as well. No one knew or knows of our relationship. Because of so much pain in my life, I never wanted to have another gay relationship. It was 20 years before I ever saw Jim again and another 27 years before meeting again. We are in our 70s now and still harbor our secret. Life is not easy. Coming out would tear my family apart. I have had enough pain in my life and will not risk further injury. I can understand why the suicide rate is high in the gay community.
@@richardbuckwalter8571 - Genuine question for you. If a young man opened up to you about his sexuality, being raised in the same circumstances, and struggling with coming out, what would your advice be? I know society has become more accepting (although in today’s political climate it feels as if we’re taking two steps backward) so coming out in 2023 is significantly different than 50-60 years ago. I was raised in a small town in Oklahoma and am 58 y/o. My extended family is deeply, deeply religious and bigoted; I always knew how everyone felt about homosexuality. Thankfully, my coming to terms with my sexuality was not difficult for me, but I knew I had to hide who I was until I could leave OK (which was when I went to college). I came out my first year in college and I have lived my life as an openly gay man ever since. Yes, family rejected me and I lost friendships. What I find fascinating are people whom I’ve known all my life (and some of those people who initially rejected me) will now come to me because they have a child or grandchild who they suspect is gay, or is coming out to them, and seeking my advice. Living an openly authentic life is not always easy and fighting for equal rights is a constant battle, but I wouldn’t change a thing.
@@philshuster7463I was curious about trying gay sex! My cousin and I did have a sexual relationship! It was so amazing! But I guess after a while our relationship stopped! I felt I needed to get married to my who I’m still married to too! I couldn’t find that connection with any guys again! I even went to an adult store to look for someone! I still fantasized about my past. And meeting a stranger in a public restroom.! I think about these moments a lot even though I’m married ! I crave that sexual i crave that connection again!
It's crazy how many elements of your story line up with my experience coming out over 30 years ago in suburban New Jersey. The take-away is that with each step of the process you see that the world doesn't come to an end. Beautiful. Thanks for sharing:)
Well this is weird but I could relate to almost your whole story. For me the country is Mexico, I didnt talk to anyone about it, I was even afraid of UA-cam and Google algorithm if I searched for anything related. I stood out for being the foreigner, young and short guy and I didnt want any other label. I also had a girfliend in high school. I studied abroad in Australia and I still didnt tell anyone I was gay, despite Australia being more open to that. I finally told a friend at 21, and then I had a team of 10 friends in the span of a year. I even got a boyfriend at that time. This prepared me to finally tell my parents. In the end I agree with you, it was one of the best decisions of my life.
Love your story. You’re so sweet. I totally identify. TOTALLY. It’s rough. That was when I was 24 “the reveal”; and y’a I’m still here, at 53, still have my family and friends. I sent this video to my best friend in LA, who is from Croatia. So he’ll especially identify with the cultural aspect of it. Thanks for being vulnerable and telling your story. Y’a if I’d had this when I was going through it, I can’t imagine the empowerment I might have felt to be a bit more brave sooner 😊
You are a natural storyteller. I can relate to your story in so many ways and appreciate your candid sharing of your coming out. Videos like this are definitely helping lgbtq+ kids out there!
16:14 when you said 'if those are the only people who will accept me, I'm fine with that' I really liked it. Family is really what you make of it. But it's also good if your family accept you ofc
I've been watching coming-out stories on UA-cam and appreciate your unique perspective on the suppression of you own sexuality. Growing up in Jacksonville, Florida, in the 80s, where anti-LGBTQ+ violence was prevalent, I deeply buried my sexuality to avoid danger. Even as a preteen, I accepted that none of us can live forever but didn't want to die by murder. To protect myself from this, I developed self-loathing and disdain for my own community. This survival strategy is often underdiscussed, and I find that some gay friends struggle to relate. While society increasingly accepts that sexual orientation isn't a choice, they don't seem to acknowledge that the internalized self-loathing and loathing of others that develops from suppressing one's sexuality is also not a choice. Even after we come out, its residue lingers and can have lasting, damaging effects. As Gabor Mate says, "Trauma isn't what happened to you, it's what you do inside your head to survive." This self-imposed hatred persists, influencing behavior on an implicit scale. We may still feel discomfort seeing same-sex couples, substituting panic for disgust instead of feeling the liberation we deserve. To anyone struggling with this, I caution against suppressing these feelings. You can't control them by pushing them down; instead, explore and unravel their origins through deep self-reflection or therapy. This process is rarely achieved alone, and seeking help is crucial to overcome unconscious biases and nurture healthy relationships. You're never too old to do this.
You have a great story and I am glad that you found the strength/courage to share it!! I know that it could not have been easy for you (especially growing up in a conservative country)! I am also glad that you have received mostly positive responses! I know that you knew but just to reinforce it, you are so much more than the labels that were put on you (the new kid, the fat kid, the kid with glasses, etc.) and that you are becoming the person who you want to be!!! CONGRATULATIONS!!! I hope that you are happy and experiencing all that life has to offer you!! 🎉🎉
My name is Aleksandar and my parents are Serbs from Bosnia and I was born in Washington, USA. I an 27 and still in the closet and I am very thankful for this video. I really relate and am inspired. Was laughing at parts because I relate so much like when you said your cousion knew and that he felt cool that he was the first in the family to know lol. That is such a balkan family. Many blessing to you and thank you again!
I think it's important that we get to hear stories like yours as well, because most people from western (more progressive) countries don't know how bad it is in the Balkans when it comes to the lgbtq community (or just to gender roles in general, and societal expectations). Also, seeing your video will make other gay people from that region feel less alone. It saddens me to hear that you were suppressing yourself for so long, but I'm glad you managed to break free eventually. I wish you all the best. Pozdrav iz Slovenije! ❤️
Odličan video i jako ohrabrujuć. Samo mali prijedlog: vjerujen da je i ovo bilo teško snimiti, ali mislim da bi ovo bio dobar govor na našem jeziku koji bi mnogima pomogao u manjim i konzervativnijim sredinama, recimo u Slavoniji i Zagori. Ne znaju svi dobro engleski, i drugačije je i nekako bliže i osobnije kad čuješ na svom jeziku jer takve priče su kod nas rijetke, a mnogi pate u strahu svog ormara. Bar meni bi puno značilo da sam prije desetak godina čuo iskrenu ispovijed nekog iz mog kraja. Ako ništa, bar titlove na hrv za ovaj video. Svaka čast na hrabrosti i otvorenosti :)
First and foremost is the absolute emotional and intellectual strength that he presents is awesome. He is so modest, so gentle, taking full and absolute responsibility for every act of his person, will be an amazing partner. His strength of character is to be envious . The quality of his self-awareness and introspection are mind-boggling. I predict that as a partner he will be the top of the top. Go date this extraordinary guy.
Finally a story I can relate to almost fully! For me the Balkan country is Greece. I was also the fat kid with glasses till I ended highschool. On the 1st year of university when the Pandemic hit I told I would change myself and be the one I wanted to be, I lost 30 Kgrs (it was tragically difficult) and I started wearing eye lenses. The hardest part for me was to accept myself, I grew up in a very conservative and religious environment, I wanted to die throughout my teenage years, I despised myself for being gay. Absolutely noone knew till I was 19, when I told some internet friends i had from foreign countries. Then, with their aid, I started walking the path of self-acceptance. This year shortly before I become 20 I told my best friend from highschool and she was very helpful and accepting. This summer I fell deeply in love for the first time in my life, and though it didn't go well, it helped me immensely to view things differently. Now a few of my friends know, but I have hit a dead end. Because I live with my parents, and I can't be real in my university cause it's just a 15 minute walk from home, it's too close. I can't reveal it any further. The idea that the full reveal is just one phrase away is daunting. And I'm still terrified of my parents' and extended family's reaction. It's true that Greece has made some progress as a country in this matter the last 5 years or so (barely, but still). The hardest part is watching the whole community progress, and other people being out living free and proudly not being afraid of the consequences, while you are still not able to do anything. But I can't be living a lie for ever, I wish someday I get the courage to get out fully..
How and when (or if) you decide to do that has to be your own decision. I'm not sure where you are, but as someone who lived in a very traditional place where family pressures are quite intense, I will encourage you not to bow to family pressure to get married, if that's a factor for you. I saw several friends do that in order to placate their families and and the pressure from them, but I never saw it work out well. It always just lead to more and new pressure and expectations. To say nothing of the person who gets pulled into the situation unaware and doesn't understand what's going on. (If you don't have that pressure, I'm glad, and in any case, I wish you the best.)
I’m sure you have the courage! First person I told was my mother. I kept thinking, what if one of my parents was to pass and I never shared my true self with them? It didn’t hurt that my boyfriend outed me, but you’re right it’s not easy and there are still people in my life even at 59 that I haven’t been honest with. But every person that I have come out to, I don’t regret, not a bit. I don’t wear it on my sleeve but I’ve tried to share my authentic self with the people who are most important to me in my life and I’m sure you’ll find the courage to do the same in your own time. And you’re not alone!❤
One step at a time dear ,and believe me if you feel like you’re still not ready then take your time to gather the couerage and find those who people who you can trust ❤
I came out at 34 after leading a closeted more or less un social unfriended life. My best friend gave me the courage to come out when he came out to me. I'm 71 now and with my wonderful (now) husband 32 years. Perhaps my story will do for you what my friend did for me. My life would be lonely and sad had I not lived my authentic self snd life.
I appreciate your courage and i hope i find that courage soon. I’m 20 already and i feel more and more burdened keeping this to myself all those years.😶
I read all the comments and would like to that I hope that you live your best life and be happy and the best you that you can be. Life is too short and time goes by so quickly. I hope you won’t mind if I ask you to live the life that some us couldn’t live and please enjoy your life. Thank you young man.
@@traceystokes5253 I'm 23 now and i really am living much better life now and it's only getting better and better and i'm glad that i was able to let some of my really close family know about me and everyone's been very supportive. Thank you so much for this, these little things really help and i hope you're living that life too.
I heard horror stories in school but in the end, coming out is always an individual experience and it's good to hear people whose family accept them. Still praying for the many who still have to hide who they are, especially when the price is their lives.
Being open and honest is always the best course of action, but as you rightly say, in your own time. It's important that people who are in your previous predicament get to see the reality of what's behind the cool handsome Instagram profile, and can benefit from realising what you went through, how you tackled it and how you look back on that challenging time. Thanks for sharing.
This is exactly what I wanted to hear from you. I’m always curious to know how somebody’s culture influences their path. If you keep doing this I would LOVE to hear if as a couple you have to behave a certain way where you live.
You were very wise to build support groups first where you felt safest. It's great to see a fine young man like you with quiet passion and lots of heart being generous in his concern for others. And I love how you talk with your hands!
Thank you for sharing this with us! And thank you for sharing your story with me. Growing up in a conservatice orthodox family in Romania and being gay at the same time had a very toxic effect for me. I did managed to come out to my friends and family but I am still afraid to do so in other circumstances. My parents and a few members of my family reacted very bad. My parents don't accept me even now after about 2 years since I tol them. I don't think they can do it some time soon or ever... Even though I will continue my life in truth and I hope I'll leave Romania soon after I finish my licence paper next year. I can have o great career here but no personal life, no kids, no family with another man. I related to big parts of your story and I wish I could saw it earlier but I am glad that more and more people can see it now and fell that they are not alone. Wish you all the best!
I cannot thank you enough for your bravery to post this story! I always felt cheated out of the experience you shared. A lot of people have told me that I had it easier than them because I was "brought out" instead of working up the nerve to tell my family on my own terms. I was 17 when this happened, and I felt like I was about to be punished when my mom asked to talk to me. The last couple of minutes of this video has the best advice for people. "Let them do it on their own".
You did and amazing job in relating your personal story you presented everything so smoothly and in a way that was heartfelt and yet not over-the-top emotionally. You did baby very professional job my friend. You speak English better than the majority of people living in this country all their lives. You definitely have a future in mass media of whatever kind. Congratulations. I hope to visit Croatia someday. To Zagreb and especially the Dalmatian Coast. The BALKANS have such a rich history. Certainly you are neither the guy overweight or the guy with glasses or the foreign guy. You are one handsome dude, man.
Thanks. Really thanks. I’ve been watching coming out videos for a long time now. And each one gives me a little more courage to do what I need to do. Which is come out. Thanks for sharing.
Wow, I see you as a man who can be a wonderful role model and support for other young men struggling with same sex attraction. Your calm demeanor and honesty will give much hope. Great presentation. Btw, you're freakin gorgeous!! 😍
You are completely charming. You tube is about story telling and you have just done a genius job at that. Thanks for taking us along. Please share more stories .
Thank you for sharing your story, I know it couldn’t have been easy. I’m so glad you do have some supportive family members. And I’m sending love to those who do not ❤️
Your story was beautiful. As a gay man with a similar pattern of coming out (I knew in kindergarten, I didn’t have a gay act or relationship until I was 22, etc) it always strikes how universal our stories are. Everyone considers the US as this hedonistic land where you can be whatever you wanna be and THAT IS NOT TRUE. To be who WANT TO BE, you have to be STRONG and confidant and you sharing your story publicly will hopefully give others that strength. thank you!
The vid kind of made me cry, which I haven’t cried in prob a yr tbh. I’ve been closeted forever lol , and idk if I’ll ever come out. I’ve kind of closed myself to never be in a relationship so I’ve never been with anyone publicly, yet I’ve hooked up a lot with both guys and girls secretly (mostly guys though) and sometimes I feel that sense of emptiness that I’ll never find love bc I won’t allow myself , but ig I distract myself enough with school, work, friends and family. This video kind of gave me hope, maybe one day , we’ll see. I’m studying to be a lawyer in the US, so the culture is so different from anything but hopefully, maybe, I’ll be able to change it when I have power, we’ll see. Thank you for the vid.
Sorry to here that, you are very much appreciated as the Strong queer person you are, We are a community after all. Trust me, it'll get better when you make the right moves I've been there.
Do you identify as gay? Not having a clear gay or straight label in your mind could be why you have hesitation. I think step one is to accept yourself with whatever label you need to clarify to yourself your sexuality. I notice the more someone is comfortable with themselves the less they care about how the world views them. Of course you have to be in a safe place for that to be a realistic.
You have to love yourself first to love someone else. In the end Love is all that matters so don't procrastinate in defining your desires and accepting yourself. The easiest route in the short term is almost always the most difficult path in the long run so the longer you put your happiness on the back burner the more of your precious life you will have lost forever. You only have so many chances in meeting your mate for life.
What a cool guy! Seriously, this is a wonderful video. Thank you for your clarity and honesty. I'm saving this to be able to show it to anyone I know who might be trying to understand what it is like to know from a very early age that you are gay but can't express it because of rigid cultural restrictions. Thank you, thank you. Please post more videos
The best way to come out to your family is to get them to like your boyfriend first. They'll figure it out by themselves.They accept or they don't - either way, your decision is not up to them. Thank you for your story...I hope you find a ton of happiness and someone to share it with.
I think you're strong. You came out when it was your time. Everyone has different times. But i think your mom was wrong to disclose to the family before you were ready to come out to them. My dad did the same thing and rejected me at first, but our relationship got much, much better. So you're strong. Stay strong. Thank you for you story, because it will definitely help a lot of kids still struggling to come out. ❤
It is a bit sad that still it is so hard for people to be accepted for who they are. And accepting themselves... what you mentioned about not being able to say "gay" or rejecting other men because of your fear. Congratulations on having the courage of coming out and it is great that you met your partner in the US and that all your friends and cousin accepted you. That is the change we need to happen everywhere. It should not matter what our sexual orientation is.
Luv u for this nem! I can really relate. I came out to my mama recently and she told me that it's only on my emotions and that I should not be swayed by that. But I hid it for so many years and I am ready to express my gayness to the world! I am valid!❤💙💚💛💜
Nice video. A coming out video from a new country, Croatia, got added in my list. Despite many challenges of being gay it feels amazing to think that I am a part of community that spans all countries and religions. Keep making videos and bring your boyfriend in the next one. x
Golem pozdrav od Amerika! One side of my family is from the Balkans so I was interested in hearing your story. When I was a kid I also told myself I'd never come out to my family, but now as an adult I'm in a good relationship with a guy I love, and my family invites him to dinners and holidays. Whatever other people say, however they respond to you, keep in mind your own intentions and ethical values. We can't control how others react, only what we do, say and think. Best wishes in your future endeavors!
@@sargata3054 like I will move to another city for studying. Only my grandma knows that I am gay. My mom forgets it all the time. I want distance from my family
When you talked about not wanting yet another label, it really hit home. I'm in my 50's, and didn't even come out to myself until I was 30. I buried it, it was very unhealthy for me. But I grew up catholic in the Southeastern US. I was already a comic book nerd, liberal, and increasingly atheist. Adding gay on top of that was more than I thought I had the strength to reveal. But being my real self is actually so much easier.
My story is similar, I too knew at 4 years old, over weight in middle school, then an artist, photographer, and lettering in three sports and captain of our ski team. Thanks for sharing!
We have to stop using "straight acting" and start using "straight behaving". Because some aren't acting. It's just naturally the way they carry themselves. Nice vid. The best relationships start out as friends. I think. To feel comfortable with someone first before anything else feels really nice. That's how I met my first boyfriend too. I also never used the words " I am gay ". I hate labels myself.
Thank you for your story. To be born in this time period and be able to live life without fear. Is a very good thing I am so happy for you. I was a man of the 1980s. I lost friends to HIV and there was so much stigma surrounding everything about sexuality. I’m so glad that you’re experiencing a better life than many of us when I was young. I’m so glad that you are able to feel more comfortable with your life.❤❤❤😊😊😅!
Bravo Nemanja! Great story and a happy ended. If you don’t mind, put titles for this video in our (Serbian/Croatian/Bosnian) language, so that it will encourage many closeted gays in our Balkan countries to come out! Not everyone there is fluent in English. All the best!
Things haven’t changed much in 50+ years since I came out. Your story could have been mine back in the day. I had the illusion back in the 70s that most Europeans were more sophisticated socially back then. The European men were much better looking and less macho generally than the men in the US. They also had more style and dressed a lot better than men in the US. I remember getting off the plane in Europe (almost anywhere) and eye candy was everywhere. How things have changed in that area - wow. Now when I come to Europe the people look like the ones in the suburbs of the US (not a good thing). Great video. - warm friendly personality.
I was a fat kid in school. And I was a gay kid too, I knew it since the age of 6. Difficult childhood, even more difficult teen years, hiding my feelings and my personality was the only thing I knew. I started living as a gay man at the age of 21. Now, 20 years later, I am a happier person, a happy gay man. Your story reminded me so much of my journey... I just wish I was the half as beautiful and handsome as you are..💕💞💜
Inspiring story. So happy it has worked out well for you. It is a bit unsettling that your mom told your whole family without your permission. Coming out is a profoundly personal experience. The story is yours to tell and on your own time-line. Hopefully, if a parent is reading these comments they will think first and respect their child's privacy. Broadcasting such a personal thing to the whole family without prior consent or at least a discussion is a violation of your trust. I applaud the intelligent way you presented your story and wish you abundant happiness. Follow your heart and be kind to yourself. 💑
Usually I don't reach the end of videos but I did now. It is clear you feel comfortable with yourself (now) maybe already before 'telling' everyone. Your video may be a relief for people struggling with their nature. You ended well by mentioning it is indeed not a choice. Have a great life!
I hope you don't remove this video and post more. I love how you talk, how you look, how you smile and everything. You are really wonderful and you are very beautiful. I hope you have beautiful days like you
I know the feeling of not being happy with who you are ,not so long ago I couldn’t imagine myself with a man and all I wanted is to be with a woman and get married and have children …but deep down I knew for sure that my linger feelings for men will never fade away I haven’t come out to anyone because I live in a very conservative country and what keeps me inside the closet is that safe and comfortable feeling ,the feeling of “fitting in” even though I know for sure that I’m the black sheep in my conservative society …..
So much of your story matches mine - I also knew first day at kindergarten aged 5 that I “liked” the boys and had no interest in any of the girls, except those who were “tomboyish” or just nice+kind. I knew I couldn’t tell anyone or show how I felt (homosexuality was a crime in my country then, and disparaging comments by everyone were just a “normal” part of everyday life) so I continued in denial all through school+college and into adult life+work. I just put my feelings into a “box” in my mind and locked it+threw away the key, convincing myself that, like you, I would find a girl and settle down, fending off relatives’ questions “Have you got a girlfriend yet?” and hating it+myself. And again, like you, a girl (colleague at work) once asked me straight out for no particular reason “Are you gay?” and I flat denied it. Of course, a straight guy would probably have played along+maybe even enjoyed it as a joke but I couldn’t do that, my denial instinct wouldn’t allow that, so she probably guessed but never pursued it. It wasn’t until my 30s that, one day, I looked at myself in the mirror, picked up that key and opened that box in my mind and said to myself: “You’re gay.” That is perhaps for many the biggest hurdle, admitting to yourself who and what you are. Your video was so honest, so direct, and your advice is so correct. You are clearly a beautiful guy inside+out, and I’m sure your story will be inspiration for gay guys at the start of their journey. Truly, I wish you every happiness in your life.
Hey just watched your video. Great attitude and good for you! You seem like a great guy. My advice, continue to be a great guy! Like your positive outlook. You are going to be fine bud! Wish you the best, just be yourself and be a good person. Everything else will take care of itself. You are brave and my hero!
I'm moving to Croatia :) if guys are that handsome! What you had it's called internal homophobia. I felt like that when I was young, because I wanted to be normal, but to no avail. I finally accepted myself when people started accepting me. Hope the best in your life.
Dear nemanja, I am proud of you to tell your story here on UA-cam, (not everyone is on Instagram, Facebook ans Co….) Since short time after the passing of my husband two Years ago I had to rearrange my Life a little, and came to LGBT movies and am now sneaking into this community. All my Life long I had sympathies for diversity, made my experiences when I was young, but I‘m a straight woman😮…here we are! I hate the words „straight and gay“! Straight to me means „ in Line…being right!…no humps and turns….no asking why or saying I don’t want to…I do it my way…“ ….gay means the opposite, „ being not in Line…being wrong….not accepted, judged as a bad person……“ This is terrible!!!! Everybody is an individual Person and has the right to love whom ever he wants, as long as no one gets hurt on body or soul! This is a God given right! God made us the way we are! ……Here is the second word that makes me furious….God….I do beliefe in God, but I and all my family left churches for many reasons. But that‘s another story. I guess you know at least a part of why yourself?! I think, we Moms and a few Dads too should have a Coming out for ourselfes. Is being straight really the better way of living? I doubt it…Asking ourselfes what we are afraid of, when a child struggles with being „different“, full of fear, not knowing who he can trust, not having someone to talk to about this struggle. Diversity is the way of sanity! Look at all those inbred ancient Kings and Pharaos! …. I Love you and wish you a happy life with lots of love with your partner! Don‘t let other people seperate you!❤ you only have this one life, make the best for you out of it!
WHAT A BEAUTIFUL BOY WITH A BEAUTIFUL STORY. Thank you for sharing your life. It shouldn't be so hard to come out, but you can thank the dear Lord that you are the age you are now and didn't have to go through this 30 or 40 years ago. It was much harder then, and people just had to abandon their family and friends if they were not accepted and start a new life all over again somewhere else. I think of all of the gay kids all over the world who have to live such stressful lives and hide who they are until they can escape their country and family. God Bless You and I wish you the happiest life ever. Remember, you're nobody until somebody loves you. You deserve to be loved.
You repressed your soul for 20 years, but you're alive now. I've repressed mine for 76 years and I've never been alive. The only power that can resurrect me is God, and if He doesn't do it, I am not, were not, and never will be, despite a life rich in acclaim, honors, success and a loving estended family. The start was molestation in the crib. Shame must be the principal circuit in my brain and I'm no electrician. The only thing I've really done for others is a technical education and an abundance of compasion. I love the world (its people) and perhaps that is life, but its a lonely life because love needs to be a two-way street. Bless you for having had the grace and courage to live.
I'm so sorry, mine was really hard and though I did came out, it didn't go easy at all, with many dark, painful moments for the decades. However, being deeply interested in all things parnormal, occult and loving many studies, it helped me a lot to survive through it all. Having had to move to a hinterland city out of work and now trying to make ends meet as a retiree without affording to move to a big city where I could possibly feel less oppressed, I can somehow relate but only know how hard it's been for you. Know that you're not alone though, we're all over the web from all corners of the planet!😇🙏🙏
@@joalexsg9741 Thank you, joal. I life in a small southern town, so I know about being "oppressed." It's why I never came out, hardly even to myself. Sometimes I feel like I've lived my life without ever saying, "Hello." The only constant in my life has been two words that came into my mind when I was 24, never since. But the words were matter of fact and very powerful, generating scalding tears and spasms in the gut and then a life of productivity, at least. There was absolutely no change in my desire for men instead of women. But I never said a word, I never said "hello." I wait on that "hello" from the Maker Himself.
so sorry to read that you were molested. I wonder if the same thing or something horrible happened to me when I was 3, after I tricycled 3 miles away on a gravel road and still don't know how I got home.
Years later, when I finally told my Tough Love ePiLePTiC mother about this, she Said, " STOP Making Up Stories !" She also Denied Ever ' Touching ' me when. I was 4 and accidentally bumped into her coffee table when we Lived in our 5th of 10 more PMQs
CFB Rivers Manitoba - Little Base on the Prairies
until I was 10, while my younger brother was chasing in me knocking her cheap ashtray off, which broke and then she suddenly grabbed, dragged and stripped me naked , beating me with her strap as I stood on my bed, not even breathing let alone thinking to say stop !
And people wonder why I don't want to write a book. However, because her ' perfect ' MuDdLeD 'klass' Peasant Ukrainian Canadian 'f@miLLy' has a Gay Alcoholic Hair $tylist, she guessed and asked me if I was gay, after calling her in my 30s, as I said I ' understood ' her
' Perfect ' Nephew, David
I could never accept being labelled
a " Fag ! " by my brother when I was 8 and Terrified of our Mother's Violent Rage over our Father's Drinking in the ' Royal ' Canadian Airforce, as growing up Catholic, Shamed and Shunned by my Air Canada Pontiu$ Pilot of a 'brother' and Nastier Condescending Persnickety Sarcastic 'sister', who married ' up' to a Doctor , when she was 35, who also no longer contacts me since our Mother died in 2018, and who puts me down Worse than our Mother, who Beat up our Hard Working Long Suffering in Stoic Silence ' Royal ' Canadian Airforce Private - Sargeant Mechanic Airforce turned Janitor Drinking + Later Gambling Father, Mentally, Emotionally, Verbally+ Physically every second day for 60 years for being " GODD@MNED GERMANS ?, which is why you all like to FIGHT !!", however it was Ghenghis Khan's Great Great Great Great Great UNgreat Grand daughter whose Perfection Demanding Criticisms and S@RC@SM STARTED @LL The 'FiGhTs
My Tough ' Love ' Virgo Leo Rising Gemini moon Mad mother often called my Father a " Stupid Goof ! " And Laughed at his Suppressed Anxiety Ridden passive Aggressive Panic or " a Goddamned Stupid Pollack !"
However thanks to the internet, I have come to know that both of my parents were both Polish and my mother's ' f@miLLy' are noT really Ukr⚒️nians, until after WW I when her parents left in 1920 and Never Returned because of The Soviets and Poverty.
She and her 'sister' were Born in The British Hempire of ' c🇬🇧n🍁d🇬🇧', where my Canadian BC born mother was Beaten with a Leather Strap on her then 5 year old hand for accidentally answering a Nun in Ukrainian instead of English in 1942 HeLLbErT@ and Never taught us a word of her 'f@miLLy's ' language so that none of us would know The Truth about her Abusive CPR🚂iLw🇬🇧Y 5 cents/ 12 - 16 hour day " supervisor ! " of a gr. 12 educated immigrant Ukrainian father who Beat up her gr. 1 educated mother , who at 16, had to get "..married and buried '!"
This is how my Mother Talked about Marriage , which her married again mother Told her to Marry my Father 5 years after her ' Father ', Died when she was 13
She later Laughed about what lay ahead for me when I was a ' teenager', but I knew at ,8 that I would " NEVER Get Married ,!" and TOLD me as a ' teenager's and adult to " Get The Hell Out ! " of our first real
' home' 6 months after I wall papered every room in 'our' tiny home in the Dead of Winter
' Your ' Father's NOTHiNG but a GODD@MNED Alcoholic + Sex Maniac ! He shouldn't have had a dog, let alone a wife and three kids ! he should have 'lived' @LONE Like You !" , she Said after I called her again on the phone 1 month before she ballooned up with Cancer, January 2018
I always felt Dead inside, as I knew I was Doomed to HELL by our Catholic Divided 'f@miLLy
'' GET THE HELL OUT OF MY FAMiLY !! Go to your 'Father's in www.wilno.com where there's So Much ' Love '.
Monday January 22, 2024
11:45 pm
so sorry to read that you were molested. I wonder if the same thing or something horrible happened to me when I was 3, after I tricycled 3 miles away on a gravel road and still don't know how I got home.
Years later, when I finally told my Tough Love ePiLePTiC mother about this, she Said, " STOP Making Up Stories !" She also Denied Ever ' Touching ' me when. I was 4 and accidentally bumped into her coffee table when we Lived in our 5th of 10 more PMQs
CFB Rivers Manitoba - Little Base on the Prairies
until I was 10, while my younger brother was chasing in me knocking her cheap ashtray off, which broke and then she suddenly grabbed, dragged and stripped me naked , beating me with her strap as I stood on my bed, not even breathing let alone thinking to say stop !
And people wonder why I don't want to write a book. However, because her ' perfect ' MuDdLeD 'klass' Peasant Ukrainian Canadian 'f@miLLy' has a Gay Alcoholic Hair $tylist, she guessed and asked me if I was gay, after calling her in my 30s, as I said I ' understood ' her
' Perfect ' Nephew, David
I could never accept being labelled
a " Fag ! " by my brother when I was 8 and Terrified of our Mother's Violent Rage over our Father's Drinking in the ' Royal ' Canadian Airforce, as growing up Catholic, Shamed and Shunned by my Air Canada Pontiu$ Pilot of a 'brother' and Nastier Condescending Persnickety Sarcastic 'sister', who married ' up' to a Doctor , when she was 35, who also no longer contacts me since our Mother died in 2018, and who puts me down Worse than our Mother, who Beat up our Hard Working Long Suffering in Stoic Silence ' Royal ' Canadian Airforce Private - Sargeant Mechanic Airforce turned Janitor Drinking + Later Gambling Father, Mentally, Emotionally, Verbally+ Physically every second day for 60 years for being " GODD@MNED GERMANS ?, which is why you all like to FIGHT !!", however it was Ghenghis Khan's Great Great Great Great Great UNgreat Grand daughter whose Perfection Demanding Criticisms and S@RC@SM STARTED @LL The 'FiGhTs
My Tough ' Love ' Virgo Leo Rising Gemini moon Mad mother often called my Father a " Stupid Goof ! " And Laughed at his Suppressed Anxiety Ridden passive Aggressive Panic or " a Goddamned Stupid Pollack !"
However thanks to the internet, I have come to know that both of my parents were both Polish and my mother's ' f@miLLy' are noT really Ukr⚒️nians, until after WW I when her parents left in 1920 and Never Returned because of The Soviets and Poverty.
She and her 'sister' were Born in The British Hempire of ' c🇬🇧n🍁d🇬🇧', where my Canadian BC born mother was Beaten with a Leather Strap on her then 5 year old hand for accidentally answering a Nun in Ukrainian instead of English in 1942 HeLLbErT@ and Never taught us a word of her 'f@miLLy's ' language so that none of us would know The Truth about her Abusive CPR🚂iLw🇬🇧Y 5 cents/ 12 - 16 hour day " supervisor ! " of a gr. 12 educated immigrant Ukrainian father who Beat up her gr. 1 educated mother , who at 16, had to get "..married and buried '!"
This is how my Mother Talked about Marriage , which her married again mother Told her to Marry my Father 5 years after her ' Father ', Died when she was 13
She later Laughed about what lay ahead for me when I was a ' teenager', but I knew at ,8 that I would " NEVER Get Married ,!" and TOLD me as a ' teenager's and adult to " Get The Hell Out ! " of our first real ' home' 6 months after I wall papered every room in 'our' tiny home in the Dead of Winter
' Your ' Father's NOTHiNG but a GODD@MNED Alcoholic + Sex Maniac ! He shouldn't have had a dog, let alone a wife and three kids ! he should have 'lived' @LONE Like You !" , she Said after I called her again on the phone 1 month before she ballooned up with Cancer, January 2018
I always felt Dead inside, as I knew I was Doomed to HELL by our Catholic Divided 'f@miLLy
'' GET THE HELL OUT OF MY FAMiLY !! Go to your 'Father's in www.wilno.com where there's So Much ' Love '.
Monday January 22, 2024
11:45 pm
so sorry to read that you were molested. I wonder if the same thing or something horrible happened to me when I was 3, after I tricycled 3 miles away on a gravel road and still don't know how I got home.
Years later, when I finally told my Tough Love ePiLePTiC mother about this, she Said, " STOP Making Up Stories !" She also Denied Ever ' Touching ' me when. I was 4 and accidentally bumped into her coffee table when we Lived in our 5th of 10 more PMQs
CFB Rivers Manitoba - Little Base on the Prairies
until I was 10, while my younger brother was chasing in me knocking her cheap ashtray off, which broke and then she suddenly grabbed, dragged and stripped me naked , beating me with her strap as I stood on my bed, not even breathing let alone thinking to say stop !
And people wonder why I don't want to write a book. However, because her ' perfect ' MuDdLeD 'klass' Peasant Ukrainian Canadian 'f@miLLy' has a Gay Alcoholic Hair $tylist, she guessed and asked me if I was gay, after calling her in my 30s, as I said I ' understood ' her
' Perfect ' Nephew, David
I could never accept being labelled
a " Fag ! " by my brother when I was 8 and Terrified of our Mother's Violent Rage over our Father's Drinking in the ' Royal ' Canadian Airforce, as growing up Catholic, Shamed and Shunned by my Air Canada Pontiu$ Pilot of a 'brother' and Nastier Condescending Persnickety Sarcastic 'sister', who married ' up' to a Doctor , when she was 35, who also no longer contacts me since our Mother died in 2018, and who puts me down Worse than our Mother, who Beat up our Hard Working Long Suffering in Stoic Silence ' Royal ' Canadian Airforce Private - Sargeant Mechanic Airforce turned Janitor Drinking + Later Gambling Father, Mentally, Emotionally, Verbally+ Physically every second day for 60 years for being " GODD@MNED GERMANS ?, which is why you all like to FIGHT !!", however it was Ghenghis Khan's Great Great Great Great Great UNgreat Grand daughter whose Perfection Demanding Criticisms and S@RC@SM STARTED @LL The 'FiGhTs
My Tough ' Love ' Virgo Leo Rising Gemini moon Mad mother often called my Father a " Stupid Goof ! " And Laughed at his Suppressed Anxiety Ridden passive Aggressive Panic or " a Goddamned Stupid Pollack !"
However thanks to the internet, I have come to know that both of my parents were both Polish and my mother's ' f@miLLy' are noT really Ukr⚒️nians, until after WW I when her parents left in 1920 and Never Returned because of The Soviets and Poverty.
She and her 'sister' were Born in The British Hempire of ' c🇬🇧n🍁d🇬🇧', where my Canadian BC born mother was Beaten with a Leather Strap on her then 5 year old hand for accidentally answering a Nun in Ukrainian instead of English in 1942 HeLLbErT@ and Never taught us a word of her 'f@miLLy's ' language so that none of us would know The Truth about her Abusive CPR🚂iLw🇬🇧Y 5 cents/ 12 - 16 hour day " supervisor ! " of a gr. 12 educated immigrant Ukrainian father who Beat up her gr. 1 educated mother , who at 16, had to get "..married and buried '!"
This is how my Mother Talked about Marriage , which her married again mother Told her to Marry my Father 5 years after her ' Father ', Died when she was 13
She later Laughed about what lay ahead for me when I was a ' teenager', but I knew at ,8 that I would " NEVER Get Married ,!" and TOLD me as a ' teenager's and adult to " Get The Hell Out ! " of our first real
' home' 6 months after I wall papered every room in 'our' tiny home in the Dead of Winter
' Your ' Father's NOTHiNG but a GODD@MNED Alcoholic + Sex Maniac ! He shouldn't have had a dog, let alone a wife and three kids ! he should have 'lived' @LONE Like You !" , she Said after I called her again on the phone 1 month before she ballooned up with Cancer, January 2018
I always felt Dead inside, as I knew I was Doomed to HELL by our Catholic Divided 'f@miLLy
'' GET THE HELL OUT OF MY FAMiLY !! Go to your 'Father's in www.wilno.com where there's So Much ' Love '.
Your story made me cry. I have a daughter who is 13 and came out to me in a note. She said that she couldn’t face me. My heart broke and I had to wait see her...school. I told her I did not care who she loved as long as they treat her with love, respect and kindness. I told her I have your back, no matter what! Then she sighed. I have a sister that is gay and she is married...I LOVE them all. I joined Free Mom Hugs....a group that helps LGBTQ and their families. Thank you for opening your life up to strangers and sharing your story. I wish I could hug you.
Your comment almost made me cry. The fact that someone’s mom took time to watch an entire 25 minute coming out story on UA-cam after her daughter came out to her shows right away what kind of mom you are and makes me so happy and proud that my video is reaching and having an impact on amazing people like you. Thank you. ♥️
@@isthatnems I think what really effected me is the fact my husband’s family is from India and my family is Catholic and from U.S. I told her that it was her story to tell , so when she is ready to tell the world I will be there cheering her now. When my daughter decided “to come out of the closet” I posted a photo of her under a rainbow flag. My family was supportive (which surprised me) but my husband’s family did not even acknowledge the post. As it turns out the Indian side, had two teenagers that came out to me, before their parents were told. I told my daughter, at least she is not living a lie, and now she can be HERSELF! 🏳️🌈♥️🌈♥️
@@kellymaganti5935 you are a great mom. We all wished we had mothers like you. I couldn’t even tell my mom I had married the man of my dreams before she passed away. I just knew it wasn’t in her to be accepting. It doesn’t mean I didn’t love her, but her upbringing was so super religious and dogmatic, that I didn’t think she could handle it. You are a role model for what a parent should do in this circumstance and I appreciate you.
You are a good mother，my cousin and I are LGBT，We haven't told our parents yet，We don't know how to talk or how to solve this
@@shaojiecheng1343 how old are you? Are you close to one parent? Are you close to aunt or uncle?
As someone who’s still living in a conservative country, thank you for sharing this, it gives a bit of hope…
I love "Change of heart", it's beautiful😊.
@@bogdancristian6758 LOVE ALWAYS JUDGE! And RIGHTSEOULSY thereof. LOVE IS RIGHTEOUS JUDGMENT.
And BIBLE never banned it:
John 7:24 Judge not according to the appearance, but judge righteous judgment.
Matthew 7:2 - For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.
John 15:13 - Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.
The whole BIBLE is loving, because it RIGHTEOUSLY judging us and calling us all to REPENTANCE.
Same here
Part of your life goals may be to get away from that toxic environment. My husband did that- it made every difference in his life- and I am one grateful recipient of this courageous man's decision. It may be hard to realize but your decision may not only make your life happier but that of someone else as well.
💪🏽well I’ve heard several ‘coming out’ journeys using this social media platform, it’s interesting. You just told a story that is purdy much my own. I lasted till I was after I was 21, and even then I wasn’t really open about deeply guarded feelings. To this day I don’t make an issue of it one way or another, I don’t of my own initiative bring it up, I’m not compelled to ‘clear it up’, however I don’t deny or fully confirm a status. Truth is, my only real struggle that of my relationship with God, which , which is foolish to deny. I didn’t grow up with a dad, had a stepdad through high school. I woke up one night and he was in our bed room, I shared w/two bros, going from bed to bed. Long story short, when we came back to the U.S. w/in the first year divorce was in process. I didn’t hate him but it was hard to respect him. I still feel like sex and what I call private life, is just that... private, it CAN be a slippery slope. If confronted I can defend myself and who I am, but it has to come to me, I don’t wave the rainbow banner and I reserve judgment. I don’t wave the Hetero/redneck banner either, I find that to be a false narrative also. I’m not, and refuse to be an in your face “gay agenda” pusher. I’ve watched friends of mine, and the gay community transform into the very monster they set out to overcome, a sort of all or nothing militant mentality, I have a hard time respecting that too. Again, my struggle is with my understanding, and relationship with God. I appreciate the way you tell your story, it’s real, it’s true and it doesn’t demonize or condemn. I think Thats the best we can hope for in a world so widely divided, and people polarized by things that quite often don’t fully understand, and people willing to appose the search for real truth, even their own. I’ll leave it there for now. Be strong, be true...God bless you , give you peace and direct your ways🔥💜🕊
This is one of the most honest things I have ever seen,,,,I can totally relate to everything he has said…and I am a 68 year old man that experienced everything that he said! My heart goes out to you…you are wonderful!
Ditto .., at 61 years old
Going on 64 and though being non binary made mine quite harder, I also feel glad when I see these youths getting out of the closet in a social environment safe enough for them to live their sexual-affective lives as due, freely.
Actually, I’m 77 yrs gay man and I enjoyed your video! I know people struggling with coming out will find your video very helpful. Thank you for your integrity, honesty and openness. Your future will be very successful. 😎
But you’re 70! You shouldn’t be afraid to come out ! Specifically at your age! I’ll be 56 I’am married! I had my first gay experience w my cousin! It was Amy! But I couldn’t find anyone else! So I thought I should get married! I miss having that sexual connection with a guy again! I see myself fantasizing about gay sex with a total stranger! Like in a public restroom! I see myself craving it even though Imt married! I even went to of those adult sty to find some!
As someone from the Balkans, I'm glad everything turned out to be good for you. Pozdrav!
I am proud to ❤ Pozdrav
I’m glad you are offering advice to any young man who felt the same way you did. I always thought I was in the minority feeling as I did so young. I remember feeling “different” when I was 4 as well. I knew it involved men, and I knew not to ask anyone about it. I had a rough time in school too, it wasn’t a fun adolescence. I met someone after high school and was attending a local college. I didn’t want my parents to meet my new “friend” because of the age difference, but after almost a year they forced the subject, I came out to them, and they threw me out.
It was a tough time. I had to quit school, get a full time job and start my life. It was hard, especially since AIDS was just emerging in the U.S., and I had to be very careful. I struggled for a few years, dating different guys. I also attended a few funerals. I was beginning to think I’d never find what I wanted, a relationship with someone I loved, and who loved me equally.
I started seeing a counselor who made me realize I wasn’t a bad guy, and to not take things so seriously. I was getting along with my parents, they still had a hard time, but I told them I already went through realizing I was gay and accepted it. Now it was their turn. When I least expected it, I met a handsome guy who asked me out. I thought maybe it still wasn’t my time, but I decided to try the relationship thing once more. We were approaching 1 year together. He became a little nervous and broke up with me. I was angry, but he called a week later asking me to forgive him. My parents really enjoyed being around him. Time went by and we were coming to our 10th anniversary. My parents asked if we’d like to go on a cruise with them to celebrate. We had a wonderful time
A few years later we had to move for a new job offer for him. It was hard on my folks as well as his. It was the right choice, but our parents were still 800 miles away. His dad passed away a few years later, then both our moms died a few months apart. We decided to buy a house since our move was permanent. We also made our relationship permanent and got married in a different state. My dad was happy for us. Then a year later he passed away suddenly. It was tough. A few months after his death I was diagnosed with stage3 cancer. We had a new battle challenging us. I got through it, barely. I still have problems, but I still have my husband. We’re going on a trip this coming autumn to celebrate our 33rd anniversary. I hope you find everything you are looking for in your life. Good luck to you and Happy Pride!
Thank you for sharing your story. I remember realizing gay love is just live when my gay friends relationships started lasting longer than straight couples!
Oops love not live! 😮
My husband is from balkan too Macedonia, but luckily he was never bullied and he is not someone who could hide it. But he was very smart and was able to get scholarship to this private turkish school where kids were not mean.He came out to his immediate family and they came to terms with it, now they just love us. I am glad you are finally able to be yourself. Enjoy your freedom ! ❤️
Your message of Coming Out was beautiful. I came out in 1976 at 21. My mom didn’t accept me but my dad who went through Nazi Germany and was in the Resistance against Hitler DID accept me and encouraged me. I live on Long Island in New York but grew up very European mentality. My dad was from Berlin. He taught me to be true to myself. I came out 7 years after Stonewall riots and many of my friends were part of the Stonewall uprising. We are all older now and stories like yours make all of our protests etc. and the AIDS crisis and losses to see the youth of today be so BRAVE worthwhile. Thank you because you make our lives worthwhile. Your extended gay family member, Kurt ❤❤❤❤🎉🎉🎉🎉
Your aura, ability to speak well was refreshing. Also, naturally a beautiful man. Im 29, came out publicly at 13. I know what rough times feel like. And so many of us post videos and share stories about our experiences. That helps people a lot who need support. So keeping the subject open really makes a difference for those who are in a dangerous situation to come our or if they are out and everyday is hell for them. A serious, raw and down to earth video like this can save lives . Ive did my videos and helping LGBT youth here in Memphis TN. You're a shining star to those in the dark or in a low time. May life continue to bless you .
Your story is compelling. I’m happy you found your own path to coming out without trauma. You are a beautiful man and you are definitely a man of maturity and self awareness. Sending hugs to you
Great video. I'm so happy that you're coming out turned out a lot to be easier than you thought it might be. I'm 70 years old and have been with my partner for 42 years and happily out with all my family and friends. But even with all the progress and acceptance our community now enjoys I believe it's everyone's personal choice when they choose to come out.
I know that what it's important here is his coming out story, but I can't stop staring at his beautiful and perfect face and the softness of his voice and charisma. 😍
Same! He's gorgeous and he seems like a really intelligent, sweet guy. I wish him tons of joy in his life!
Going on 64, it makes me relieved to know that even those who live in apparently more accepting societies but haven't gotten out of the closet yet finally get the courage to do so. Social pressure can still exist in very subtle ways even in our modern big cities, let alone in the hinterland of the western world. You do well sharing your story, it'll certainly help many to find their paths in life! Following your channel, giving the due thumbs-up and sharing! Have a magical New Year.😇🙏
Hvala na ovom videu! Prvi put čujem neku sličnu priču svojoj ovde i prvi put da vidim neki "coming out" video koji mi je blizak. Taj osećaj kad znaš od vrtića, a odrastaš na ovim prostorima i negiraš sebi i svima do faksa... Drago mi je što si imao priliku da odeš iz ovog okruženja bar na kratko i sam se sebi outuješ. Svaka čast tvojoj majci :)
Great video. I am 69 years old, but so much of what you said, even though your experiences were different from my own and mine was a different era...but your story resonated with me. I only came out to my parents (via a letter i sent them) when my first partner of 4 years broke up with me and i couldn't bare to let them think that he hadn't been just a friend to me for 4 years. It struck me that you have total recall of the events that led up to your coming out. Ironically, i kept a daily diary since the time i was 11 years old until the present day; and it is now priceless to me to read those daily writings of an innocent little kid (me) who for a long time didn't have a clue why my classmates would call me a "fairy" and i for a long time had to pretend to be something that i wasn't. I came out to myself on my 21st birthday by going out to the bars. It has been quite a journey of self-discovery. I am now in a very satisfying relationship with an Asian guy. I am more comfortable with him on so many levels than i ever have been with anyone else. Sometimes i think we all "peak" in terms of luck, happiness, etc at different times in our lives. If this is so, then i certainly am glad that life saved it's best for me at this time in my life. I see you posted this video about a year ago and maybe you have other videos. Thank you for a heartfelt story. I loved it! 😂😊
I didn’t think I will watch this for 25 min. Straight!! You're amazing
Probably the BEST and the most relatable coming out video in UA-cam
Thank you so much! ♥️
I'm 54 and haven't come out. My father passed away in 1999 and my mother passed away in 2020. I told neither, and I have no regrets. When I was over a month before my 4th birthday, my maternal grandfather told me that I was just like his brother Sam. His brother Sam was gay. I'm from a Catholic family, and no one talks about such things.
You okay?
@@Brandonson80I've learned to deal with it. I had boyfriends in grammar school and high school. Just before I started college, I told my grandmother I was giving up boys, because I had to take care of my mother. I sacrificed my own life for my mother. Honor thy father and thy mother, so I figure God will take care of me.
@@Brandonson80My first gay boyfriend was in kindergarten. He was my first crush too. I know someone who says they became gay at 17. I can't understand that. I was from 3, when I kissed and grabbed my cousin. In kindergarten I had my first crush, and I kissed him.
@@markgordon5387 That's very honorable friend. Has He? Taken care of you that is? I love in the south and always knew Something was different. I'm 43 now and still have problems accepting this as a reality.
@@Brandonson80 The two boys from grammar school never kept in touch, on one committed suicide at age 49. I high school, I had a friend at school, but I broke it off, he cried. I didn't cry until I was home... going to bed. He cried then, 1987, and I have cried regularly since. He's in law enforcement now, and lives with a boyfriend.
I have a son that is 9 that has gay tendencies. I feel like I shouldn’t tell him that I notice it. I want him to make that decision for himself because I feel like too many parents hop on the gay train with their children and say things to influence their child’s sexuality. I feel like he’ll find himself when he finds himself. And whatever he decides I’ll be there to embrace him and love him no matter what
I think that's a good way to look at it. I would encourage you to let him know in non-personal ways that you have no problem with it. For example, my parents were both professional musicians and they had dear gay friends. My mom never said bad things about it, and never talked about the fact that so and so was gay in ang "sensationalistic" ways. My dad on the other hand, seemed to have the need to talk about gay folk (in general) as people who would "recruit young people," and what he would do anyone who ever tried doing that to us. Guess which parent I felt more comfortable coming out to? 😏
Since dad had not rejected his gay friends, it wasn't like I thought he would reject me. But hearing that kind of talk from him growing up did make it scarier for me.
I personally am still not 100% out (a bit because I don't even know my sexuality 100%) but I do live in a house similar to what you described (at least from how you worded it in your mail).
I will tell you the biggest barriers that made/make me more hesitant coming out in the hopes that you find some very passive way to help your son IF he wants to come out (if he is LGBTQ+ at all in the end):
1. We didn't really watch a lot of movies/shows in general, mostly because my parents aren't really into that. Because of this we never watched a single movie/show with an LGBTQ+ character in it and combined with the fact that I (and from what I know my parents) know nobody in your community that is LGBTQ+ I (even with knowing that my parents are very open/modern) never had a point of reference how they felt about that.
My recommendation based on this would then be to watch a movie/series which is completely normal in any regard besides that it has a character in it that is gay/queer, so not something that is based on LGBTQ+ (no Heartstopper, Love, Simon or similar) but simply something that is normal and popular (and not focused on romance specifically) like, I know it is not age appropriate for 9 but it is the first series that comes to mind, Stranger Things. Just talk about any LGBTQ+ Character the way you would talk about any other character
2. The second BIG problem was that, because nobody in your community was LGBTQ and they didn't watch much modern media my parents are completely uneducated about LGBTQ (my mom at least didn't even know until about a year ago what LGBTQ stood for and hasn't heard it before 😂). So what I would personally suggest is to do just a bit of research (which based on the fact that you landed on this video you probably already know a lot more) and then use that knowledge like any other person would use it if this topic ever comes up in conversations (for example for us it came up in the news and my parents were completely clueless which is not very fun if you plan to come out to them at some point and all they know is gay). No need to actively start any conversation but if one comes up you seem informed and open to the topic
3. At last a tip from at least my perspective what could be A SIGN that a coming out is coming closer and that any kid/Teenager is starting to accept their sexuality (it was at least the case for me). It is simply when they start slipping in LGBTQ topics in conversations. One time it might be a character in a movie/show, a friend/person from the community that is out or has come out or the current news like book-bans in the US or similar. At least from my experience that could be testing the waters about the reactions to these topics. This is obviously less needed and less intense if they already feel at least somewhat safe how you align (as demonstrated by the points above) but even if they feel quite sure it is alright with you there will always be a bit of doubt. For this obviously point 2 is also very helpful since you can have a normal conversation with them about the topic they choose and talk about it as long as they want to without knowledge-gabs or worse, misunderstandings.
Of course those are ONLY MY EXPERIENCES and based on the fact that we most likely don't even live in the same country these could still be different for you and your son (if anybody else has anything to criticize or add, feel free) but I still wanted to write them because I think any bit however simple they are help and I DO THINK going more active is not the right decision (especially for kids/teens). I really hope that both you and your son will be very close no matter if he actually is LGBTQ or not and when he decides to tell you (if he is LGBTQ) 🏳️🌈
As a mom of a daughter on LGBTQ....Love them, Support them and always be there to answer any questions and if you don't know the answer be honest. Tell him you will try to find the answers. Teach him to be proud and confident of who he is.
Not sure what gay tendencies mean. Do you mean he blushes at guys? Personality doesn’t reflect your romantic interest. I thought we broke down those stereotypes 8 years ago.
9 can be quite aware these days. When other hate, speak compassionately, never presume the meaning of "dating." "Just Friends" is about as positive an image in an accepting family that I've ever seen. I think I could have gotten the point even at 9. It's also very funny, well acted, and without a gloomy ending. I love to watch it because it help me celebrate a vicariously a youth I never had.
I am 22,gay and also from the south Balkans. It's such a big issue to get accepted there. I know how hard it is to come out,especially when you know that wouldn't get accepted. You are so brave to be so open with ur story.
Greetings from Germany❤
Well if you‘re in Germany you are at least safe and you‘ll make friends who are supportive. One of my friends is from Belgrad, the hostility he faces in such a cosmopolitan city is mindblowing.
@@MFUA-cam683 All my friends were homophobic and were from the Balkans,Turkey and Middle East. I got beaten every day. My family destroyed my life and even the ordinary germans Teens insulted&bullied me in school for being gay. Nowadays the homophobia is even much worse in Germany than 10 years ago😢
My Bulgarian friend is closet gay, and says it's so difficult. Sofia, however, just had its first pride parade. Hopefully, it's a sign of things to come.
@supervivo7069 yes I am from Macedonia originally and in all balkan countries the first prades were made✌️😍
I am so happy for you that you had the courage to come out when you did. I didn't have that courage. I was raised in a conservative religious family, where being gay was not acceptable. So I did what I thought I had to do, and got married to a woman. We raised two sons together. I am now 68 years old. I was outed by a niece on my wife's side of the family, who saw me coming out of a gay bar one night. My wife passed away a year ago from altzheimer's dementia. I have lost most of the old friendships that we had because of me being gay. So I am trying to make new gay friends to relate too. It has really been hard. My one son still relates to me, but does not agree with my living my gay life. My other son has full out rejected me, which is really hard, because he and his wife has two daughters. So I cannot be in my granddaughters lives. I'm glad that you had the courage to come out and be who you really are when you are still young. I think it is starting to be easier for young gay guys to come out, than it was, but it is still a difficult thing to do.
Hope you find a wonderful community of people to be with.
@danielfrancis3736 Thank You, I have been working on that.
In college, 1969-1972, I had the love of my life. Our relationship ended when we graduated. I was depressed, lonely and devastated. A gay relationship was not sustainable in those days of conservative midwest USA. I went the hetero route and married a girl....Jim did the same. I am still married to the same woman, two adult children and seven grandchildren. Jim is still married as well. No one knew or knows of our relationship. Because of so much pain in my life, I never wanted to have another gay relationship. It was 20 years before I ever saw Jim again and another 27 years before meeting again. We are in our 70s now and still harbor our secret. Life is not easy. Coming out would tear my family apart. I have had enough pain in my life and will not risk further injury. I can understand why the suicide rate is high in the gay community.
@@richardbuckwalter8571 - Genuine question for you. If a young man opened up to you about his sexuality, being raised in the same circumstances, and struggling with coming out, what would your advice be? I know society has become more accepting (although in today’s political climate it feels as if we’re taking two steps backward) so coming out in 2023 is significantly different than 50-60 years ago. I was raised in a small town in Oklahoma and am 58 y/o. My extended family is deeply, deeply religious and bigoted; I always knew how everyone felt about homosexuality. Thankfully, my coming to terms with my sexuality was not difficult for me, but I knew I had to hide who I was until I could leave OK (which was when I went to college). I came out my first year in college and I have lived my life as an openly gay man ever since. Yes, family rejected me and I lost friendships. What I find fascinating are people whom I’ve known all my life (and some of those people who initially rejected me) will now come to me because they have a child or grandchild who they suspect is gay, or is coming out to them, and seeking my advice. Living an openly authentic life is not always easy and fighting for equal rights is a constant battle, but I wouldn’t change a thing.
@@philshuster7463I was curious about trying gay sex! My cousin and I did have a sexual relationship! It was so amazing! But I guess after a while our relationship stopped! I felt I needed to get married to my who I’m still married to too! I couldn’t find that connection with any guys again! I even went to an adult store to look for someone! I still fantasized about my past. And meeting a stranger in a public restroom.! I think about these moments a lot even though I’m married ! I crave that sexual i crave that connection again!
It's crazy how many elements of your story line up with my experience coming out over 30 years ago in suburban New Jersey. The take-away is that with each step of the process you see that the world doesn't come to an end. Beautiful. Thanks for sharing:)
Well this is weird but I could relate to almost your whole story.
For me the country is Mexico, I didnt talk to anyone about it, I was even afraid of UA-cam and Google algorithm if I searched for anything related. I stood out for being the foreigner, young and short guy and I didnt want any other label. I also had a girfliend in high school. I studied abroad in Australia and I still didnt tell anyone I was gay, despite Australia being more open to that. I finally told a friend at 21, and then I had a team of 10 friends in the span of a year. I even got a boyfriend at that time. This prepared me to finally tell my parents.
In the end I agree with you, it was one of the best decisions of my life.
Kinda scary how similar our stories are 😳
Who’s laughing now handsome? Awesome video, awesome story and very relatable even at 59. You’re very brave. ❤
Bravo, Nemanja! Hvala ti puno na tvojoj iskrenosti i otvorenosti! Thanks a lot for your sincerity and openness!
Love your story. You’re so sweet. I totally identify. TOTALLY. It’s rough. That was when I was 24 “the reveal”; and y’a I’m still here, at 53, still have my family and friends. I sent this video to my best friend in LA, who is from Croatia. So he’ll especially identify with the cultural aspect of it. Thanks for being vulnerable and telling your story. Y’a if I’d had this when I was going through it, I can’t imagine the empowerment I might have felt to be a bit more brave sooner 😊
You are a natural storyteller. I can relate to your story in so many ways and appreciate your candid sharing of your coming out. Videos like this are definitely helping lgbtq+ kids out there!
16:14 when you said 'if those are the only people who will accept me, I'm fine with that' I really liked it. Family is really what you make of it. But it's also good if your family accept you ofc
I've been watching coming-out stories on UA-cam and appreciate your unique perspective on the suppression of you own sexuality. Growing up in Jacksonville, Florida, in the 80s, where anti-LGBTQ+ violence was prevalent, I deeply buried my sexuality to avoid danger. Even as a preteen, I accepted that none of us can live forever but didn't want to die by murder. To protect myself from this, I developed self-loathing and disdain for my own community.
This survival strategy is often underdiscussed, and I find that some gay friends struggle to relate. While society increasingly accepts that sexual orientation isn't a choice, they don't seem to acknowledge that the internalized self-loathing and loathing of others that develops from suppressing one's sexuality is also not a choice. Even after we come out, its residue lingers and can have lasting, damaging effects.
As Gabor Mate says, "Trauma isn't what happened to you, it's what you do inside your head to survive." This self-imposed hatred persists, influencing behavior on an implicit scale. We may still feel discomfort seeing same-sex couples, substituting panic for disgust instead of feeling the liberation we deserve.
To anyone struggling with this, I caution against suppressing these feelings. You can't control them by pushing them down; instead, explore and unravel their origins through deep self-reflection or therapy. This process is rarely achieved alone, and seeking help is crucial to overcome unconscious biases and nurture healthy relationships. You're never too old to do this.
You have a great story and I am glad that you found the strength/courage to share it!! I know that it could not have been easy for you (especially growing up in a conservative country)! I am also glad that you have received mostly positive responses! I know that you knew but just to reinforce it, you are so much more than the labels that were put on you (the new kid, the fat kid, the kid with glasses, etc.) and that you are becoming the person who you want to be!!! CONGRATULATIONS!!! I hope that you are happy and experiencing all that life has to offer you!! 🎉🎉
My name is Aleksandar and my parents are Serbs from Bosnia and I was born in Washington, USA. I an 27 and still in the closet and I am very thankful for this video. I really relate and am inspired. Was laughing at parts because I relate so much like when you said your cousion knew and that he felt cool that he was the first in the family to know lol. That is such a balkan family. Many blessing to you and thank you again!
I think it's important that we get to hear stories like yours as well, because most people from western (more progressive) countries don't know how bad it is in the Balkans when it comes to the lgbtq community (or just to gender roles in general, and societal expectations). Also, seeing your video will make other gay people from that region feel less alone. It saddens me to hear that you were suppressing yourself for so long, but I'm glad you managed to break free eventually. I wish you all the best. Pozdrav iz Slovenije! ❤️
Odličan video i jako ohrabrujuć.
Samo mali prijedlog: vjerujen da je i ovo bilo teško snimiti, ali mislim da bi ovo bio dobar govor na našem jeziku koji bi mnogima pomogao u manjim i konzervativnijim sredinama, recimo u Slavoniji i Zagori. Ne znaju svi dobro engleski, i drugačije je i nekako bliže i osobnije kad čuješ na svom jeziku jer takve priče su kod nas rijetke, a mnogi pate u strahu svog ormara. Bar meni bi puno značilo da sam prije desetak godina čuo iskrenu ispovijed nekog iz mog kraja.
Ako ništa, bar titlove na hrv za ovaj video. Svaka čast na hrabrosti i otvorenosti :)
First and foremost is the absolute emotional and intellectual strength that he presents is awesome. He is so modest, so gentle, taking full and absolute responsibility for every act of his person, will be an amazing partner. His strength of character is to be envious . The quality of his self-awareness and introspection are mind-boggling. I predict that as a partner he will be the top of the top. Go date this extraordinary guy.
Finally a story I can relate to almost fully!
For me the Balkan country is Greece. I was also the fat kid with glasses till I ended highschool. On the 1st year of university when the Pandemic hit I told I would change myself and be the one I wanted to be, I lost 30 Kgrs (it was tragically difficult) and I started wearing eye lenses.
The hardest part for me was to accept myself, I grew up in a very conservative and religious environment, I wanted to die throughout my teenage years, I despised myself for being gay.
Absolutely noone knew till I was 19, when I told some internet friends i had from foreign countries. Then, with their aid, I started walking the path of self-acceptance. This year shortly before I become 20 I told my best friend from highschool and she was very helpful and accepting. This summer I fell deeply in love for the first time in my life, and though it didn't go well, it helped me immensely to view things differently.
Now a few of my friends know, but I have hit a dead end. Because I live with my parents, and I can't be real in my university cause it's just a 15 minute walk from home, it's too close. I can't reveal it any further.
The idea that the full reveal is just one phrase away is daunting. And I'm still terrified of my parents' and extended family's reaction.
It's true that Greece has made some progress as a country in this matter the last 5 years or so (barely, but still). The hardest part is watching the whole community progress, and other people being out living free and proudly not being afraid of the consequences, while you are still not able to do anything. But I can't be living a lie for ever, I wish someday I get the courage to get out fully..
I’m Greek too. From Cyprus
@@konstantinos9398 Have courage then, we don't have it easy!
I'm 30 and I still hide my true feeling from everyone. It's not easy to come out I'm not sure i have a courage. 😭😭
Babysteps. One thing at the time makes it easier
How and when (or if) you decide to do that has to be your own decision. I'm not sure where you are, but as someone who lived in a very traditional place where family pressures are quite intense, I will encourage you not to bow to family pressure to get married, if that's a factor for you. I saw several friends do that in order to placate their families and and the pressure from them, but I never saw it work out well. It always just lead to more and new pressure and expectations. To say nothing of the person who gets pulled into the situation unaware and doesn't understand what's going on. (If you don't have that pressure, I'm glad, and in any case, I wish you the best.)
I’m sure you have the courage! First person I told was my mother. I kept thinking, what if one of my parents was to pass and I never shared my true self with them? It didn’t hurt that my boyfriend outed me, but you’re right it’s not easy and there are still people in my life even at 59 that I haven’t been honest with. But every person that I have come out to, I don’t regret, not a bit. I don’t wear it on my sleeve but I’ve tried to share my authentic self with the people who are most important to me in my life and I’m sure you’ll find the courage to do the same in your own time. And you’re not alone!❤
One step at a time dear ,and believe me if you feel like you’re still not ready then take your time to gather the couerage and find those who people who you can trust ❤
I came out at 34 after leading a closeted more or less un social unfriended life. My best friend gave me the courage to come out when he came out to me. I'm 71 now and with my wonderful (now) husband 32 years. Perhaps my story will do for you what my friend did for me. My life would be lonely and sad had I not lived my authentic self snd life.
THANK YOU for sharing your story … you sound like an amazing guy and so appreciate your perspective and transparency
there is something so safe and incredible about your storytelling style
😭♥️♥️♥️
I appreciate your courage and i hope i find that courage soon. I’m 20 already and i feel more and more burdened keeping this to myself all those years.😶
C'mon g'rl everyone knows-lol
Maybe you can find some support so that you're not so isolated
@@thomasrokos5433 even if everyone knows they will still force him to live life of straight man... That's the big issue
I read all the comments and would like to that I hope that you live your best life and be happy and the best you that you can be. Life is too short and time goes by so quickly. I hope you won’t mind if I ask you to live the life that some us couldn’t live and please enjoy your life. Thank you young man.
@@traceystokes5253 I'm 23 now and i really am living much better life now and it's only getting better and better and i'm glad that i was able to let some of my really close family know about me and everyone's been very supportive. Thank you so much for this, these little things really help and i hope you're living that life too.
I heard horror stories in school but in the end, coming out is always an individual experience and it's good to hear people whose family accept them. Still praying for the many who still have to hide who they are, especially when the price is their lives.
Being open and honest is always the best course of action, but as you rightly say, in your own time. It's important that people who are in your previous predicament get to see the reality of what's behind the cool handsome Instagram profile, and can benefit from realising what you went through, how you tackled it and how you look back on that challenging time. Thanks for sharing.
Love you man! Thanks for making the world a better place 🖤
Thank you those are big words 😭
Beautiful, heartfelt testimony.. much appreciated. And so handsome and sensitive. Truly husband material!
This is exactly what I wanted to hear from you. I’m always curious to know how somebody’s culture influences their path.
If you keep doing this I would LOVE to hear if as a couple you have to behave a certain way where you live.
You were very wise to build support groups first where you felt safest. It's great to see a fine young man like you with quiet passion and lots of heart being generous in his concern for others. And I love how you talk with your hands!
What an honest and genuine post! I wish you nothing but the best. I went through similar experiences myself.
Thank you for sharing this with us! And thank you for sharing your story with me. Growing up in a conservatice orthodox family in Romania and being gay at the same time had a very toxic effect for me. I did managed to come out to my friends and family but I am still afraid to do so in other circumstances. My parents and a few members of my family reacted very bad. My parents don't accept me even now after about 2 years since I tol them. I don't think they can do it some time soon or ever... Even though I will continue my life in truth and I hope I'll leave Romania soon after I finish my licence paper next year. I can have o great career here but no personal life, no kids, no family with another man. I related to big parts of your story and I wish I could saw it earlier but I am glad that more and more people can see it now and fell that they are not alone. Wish you all the best!
I cannot thank you enough for your bravery to post this story! I always felt cheated out of the experience you shared. A lot of people have told me that I had it easier than them because I was "brought out" instead of working up the nerve to tell my family on my own terms. I was 17 when this happened, and I felt like I was about to be punished when my mom asked to talk to me. The last couple of minutes of this video has the best advice for people. "Let them do it on their own".
You did and amazing job in relating your personal story you presented everything so smoothly and in a way that was heartfelt and yet not over-the-top emotionally. You did baby very professional job my friend. You speak English better than the majority of people living in this country all their lives. You definitely have a future in mass media of whatever kind. Congratulations. I hope to visit Croatia someday. To Zagreb and especially the Dalmatian Coast. The BALKANS have such a rich history. Certainly you are neither the guy overweight or the guy with glasses or the foreign guy. You are one handsome dude, man.
Thanks. Really thanks. I’ve been watching coming out videos for a long time now. And each one gives me a little more courage to do what I need to do. Which is come out. Thanks for sharing.
Wow, I see you as a man who can be a wonderful role model and support for other young men struggling with same sex attraction. Your calm demeanor and honesty will give much hope. Great presentation. Btw, you're freakin gorgeous!! 😍
You are completely charming. You tube is about story telling and you have just done a genius job at that. Thanks for taking us along. Please share more stories .
Thank you for sharing your story, I know it couldn’t have been easy. I’m so glad you do have some supportive family members. And I’m sending love to those who do not ❤️
Your story was beautiful. As a gay man with a similar pattern of coming out (I knew in kindergarten, I didn’t have a gay act or relationship until I was 22, etc) it always strikes how universal our stories are. Everyone considers the US as this hedonistic land where you can be whatever you wanna be and THAT IS NOT TRUE. To be who WANT TO BE, you have to be STRONG and confidant and you sharing your story publicly will hopefully give others that strength. thank you!
The vid kind of made me cry, which I haven’t cried in prob a yr tbh. I’ve been closeted forever lol , and idk if I’ll ever come out. I’ve kind of closed myself to never be in a relationship so I’ve never been with anyone publicly, yet I’ve hooked up a lot with both guys and girls secretly (mostly guys though) and sometimes I feel that sense of emptiness that I’ll never find love bc I won’t allow myself , but ig I distract myself enough with school, work, friends and family. This video kind of gave me hope, maybe one day , we’ll see. I’m studying to be a lawyer in the US, so the culture is so different from anything but hopefully, maybe, I’ll be able to change it when I have power, we’ll see. Thank you for the vid.
Sorry to here that, you are very much appreciated as the Strong queer person you are, We are a community after all. Trust me, it'll get better when you make the right moves I've been there.
Do you identify as gay? Not having a clear gay or straight label in your mind could be why you have hesitation. I think step one is to accept yourself with whatever label you need to clarify to yourself your sexuality. I notice the more someone is comfortable with themselves the less they care about how the world views them. Of course you have to be in a safe place for that to be a realistic.
Date someone for a little longer and figure out if you wanna be with that person for the rest of your life.
You have to love yourself first to love someone else. In the end Love is all that matters so don't procrastinate in defining your desires and accepting yourself. The easiest route in the short term is almost always the most difficult path in the long run so the longer you put your happiness on the back burner the more of your precious life you will have lost forever. You only have so many chances in meeting your mate for life.
What a cool guy! Seriously, this is a wonderful video. Thank you for your clarity and honesty. I'm saving this to be able to show it to anyone I know who might be trying to understand what it is like to know from a very early age that you are gay but can't express it because of rigid cultural restrictions.
Thank you, thank you. Please post more videos
The best way to come out to your family is to get them to like your boyfriend first. They'll figure it out by themselves.They accept or they don't - either way, your decision is not up to them. Thank you for your story...I hope you find a ton of happiness and someone to share it with.
I think you're strong. You came out when it was your time. Everyone has different times. But i think your mom was wrong to disclose to the family before you were ready to come out to them. My dad did the same thing and rejected me at first, but our relationship got much, much better. So you're strong. Stay strong. Thank you for you story, because it will definitely help a lot of kids still struggling to come out. ❤
You are a great story teller and courageous. Have a happy life.
Thank you! ♥️
What an inspirational video. Personally loved your story and thank you very much for sharing it with us!
Great story Nems. I’m happy that you are happy. Good for you. ❤
It is a bit sad that still it is so hard for people to be accepted for who they are. And accepting themselves... what you mentioned about not being able to say "gay" or rejecting other men because of your fear. Congratulations on having the courage of coming out and it is great that you met your partner in the US and that all your friends and cousin accepted you. That is the change we need to happen everywhere. It should not matter what our sexual orientation is.
Luv u for this nem! I can really relate. I came out to my mama recently and she told me that it's only on my emotions and that I should not be swayed by that. But I hid it for so many years and I am ready to express my gayness to the world! I am valid!❤💙💚💛💜
first time seeing him. he seems genuine n honest. n that's what the world needs more of.
omg we need a 'how did u and luka meet' vid :>
there is, its in their patreon account.
@@mister_toasterzzz8910 what's that
Nice video. A coming out video from a new country, Croatia, got added in my list. Despite many challenges of being gay it feels amazing to think that I am a part of community that spans all countries and religions. Keep making videos and bring your boyfriend in the next one. x
Your story is intense and very relatable in many ways, even though I am more than twice your age. Thanks for sharing!
23:48 this really hit home. i remember doing something similar so i'd see what "gave it away"!
Golem pozdrav od Amerika! One side of my family is from the Balkans so I was interested in hearing your story. When I was a kid I also told myself I'd never come out to my family, but now as an adult I'm in a good relationship with a guy I love, and my family invites him to dinners and holidays. Whatever other people say, however they respond to you, keep in mind your own intentions and ethical values. We can't control how others react, only what we do, say and think. Best wishes in your future endeavors!
Same,I am from Macedonia,so it was so hard for me to enjoy my life without fear to come out😢
@@Bielefeld123 How are things for you now?
@@sargata3054 like I will move to another city for studying. Only my grandma knows that I am gay. My mom forgets it all the time. I want distance from my family
@@Bielefeld123 I see. Good luck, I hope everything will turn out well for you! Све најубаво 🙏
@@sargata3054 mnogo blagodaram. I hope everything will go well. Where are u from?^
When you talked about not wanting yet another label, it really hit home. I'm in my 50's, and didn't even come out to myself until I was 30. I buried it, it was very unhealthy for me. But I grew up catholic in the Southeastern US. I was already a comic book nerd, liberal, and increasingly atheist. Adding gay on top of that was more than I thought I had the strength to reveal. But being my real self is actually so much easier.
Your authenticity is amazing ! Proud of you. Huge Hugs 🤗
My story is similar, I too knew at 4 years old, over weight in middle school, then an artist, photographer, and lettering in three sports and captain of our ski team. Thanks for sharing!
We have to stop using "straight acting" and start using "straight behaving". Because some aren't acting. It's just naturally the way they carry themselves. Nice vid. The best relationships start out as friends. I think. To feel comfortable with someone first before anything else feels really nice. That's how I met my first boyfriend too. I also never used the words " I am gay ". I hate labels myself.
Exactly
Thanks for sharing
Thank you for your story. To be born in this time period and be able to live life without fear. Is a very good thing I am so happy for you. I was a man of the 1980s. I lost friends to HIV and there was so much stigma surrounding everything about sexuality. I’m so glad that you’re experiencing a better life than many of us when I was young. I’m so glad that you are able to feel more comfortable with your life.❤❤❤😊😊😅!
As an oldie I recognize your stories. Thank you for sharing this.All the best greetings from Utrecht Netherlands.
Good for you! I visited Croatia and Slovenia before. Both beautiful!
Bravo Nemanja! Great story and a happy ended. If you don’t mind, put titles for this video in our (Serbian/Croatian/Bosnian) language, so that it will encourage many closeted gays in our Balkan countries to come out! Not everyone there is fluent in English. All the best!
Clear, concise, from a beautiful man. Bravo! 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
This is a terrific video. Genuine and natural and detailed and insightful. Great advice too. Wonderful vibe….❤️❤️❤️
Things haven’t changed much in 50+ years since I came out. Your story could have been mine back in the day. I had the illusion back in the 70s that most Europeans were more sophisticated socially back then. The European men were much better looking and less macho generally than the men in the US. They also had more style and dressed a lot better than men in the US. I remember getting off the plane in Europe (almost anywhere) and eye candy was everywhere. How things have changed in that area - wow. Now when I come to Europe the people look like the ones in the suburbs of the US (not a good thing). Great video. - warm friendly personality.
I was a fat kid in school. And I was a gay kid too, I knew it since the age of 6. Difficult childhood, even more difficult teen years, hiding my feelings and my personality was the only thing I knew. I started living as a gay man at the age of 21. Now, 20 years later, I am a happier person, a happy gay man. Your story reminded me so much of my journey... I just wish I was the half as beautiful and handsome as you are..💕💞💜
The best coming out video I have seen in almost 30 years of watching. (I had access to computers very early in my life)
Inspiring story. So happy it has worked out well for you.
It is a bit unsettling that your mom told your whole family without your permission. Coming out is a profoundly personal experience. The story is yours to tell and on your own time-line. Hopefully, if a parent is reading these comments they will think first and respect their child's privacy. Broadcasting such a personal thing to the whole family without prior consent or at least a discussion is a violation of your trust.
I applaud the intelligent way you presented your story and wish you abundant happiness. Follow your heart and be kind to yourself. 💑
Usually I don't reach the end of videos but I did now. It is clear you feel comfortable with yourself (now) maybe already before 'telling' everyone. Your video may be a relief for people struggling with their nature. You ended well by mentioning it is indeed not a choice.
Have a great life!
I hope you don't remove this video and post more. I love how you talk, how you look, how you smile and everything. You are really wonderful and you are very beautiful. I hope you have beautiful days like you
Beautiful/handsome say you have very lovely hands - I love that great story too Bless you!
Very powerful and relatable story.
On a side note, your accent is very cute. It’s a cocktail of different accents/inflections 👌🏻
What accent? He sounds like he is from the US
@@jeffreyanderson1851 lol he’s clearly not.
I know the feeling of not being happy with who you are ,not so long ago I couldn’t imagine myself with a man and all I wanted is to be with a woman and get married and have children …but deep down I knew for sure that my linger feelings for men will never fade away
I haven’t come out to anyone because I live in a very conservative country and what keeps me inside the closet is that safe and comfortable feeling ,the feeling of “fitting in” even though I know for sure that I’m the black sheep in my conservative society …..
So much of your story matches mine - I also knew first day at kindergarten aged 5 that I “liked” the boys and had no interest in any of the girls, except those who were “tomboyish” or just nice+kind. I knew I couldn’t tell anyone or show how I felt (homosexuality was a crime in my country then, and disparaging comments by everyone were just a “normal” part of everyday life) so I continued in denial all through school+college and into adult life+work. I just put my feelings into a “box” in my mind and locked it+threw away the key, convincing myself that, like you, I would find a girl and settle down, fending off relatives’ questions “Have you got a girlfriend yet?” and hating it+myself. And again, like you, a girl (colleague at work) once asked me straight out for no particular reason “Are you gay?” and I flat denied it. Of course, a straight guy would probably have played along+maybe even enjoyed it as a joke but I couldn’t do that, my denial instinct wouldn’t allow that, so she probably guessed but never pursued it.
It wasn’t until my 30s that, one day, I looked at myself in the mirror, picked up that key and opened that box in my mind and said to myself: “You’re gay.” That is perhaps for many the biggest hurdle, admitting to yourself who and what you are.
Your video was so honest, so direct, and your advice is so correct. You are clearly a beautiful guy inside+out, and I’m sure your story will be inspiration for gay guys at the start of their journey. Truly, I wish you every happiness in your life.
Hey just watched your video. Great attitude and good for you! You seem like a great guy. My advice, continue to be a great guy! Like your positive outlook. You are going to be fine bud! Wish you the best, just be yourself and be a good person. Everything else will take care of itself. You are brave and my hero!
Thank you for posting such an honest and necessary video about your coming out. It was very engaging and heartfelt!
I'm moving to Croatia :) if guys are that handsome! What you had it's called internal homophobia. I felt like that when I was young, because I wanted to be normal, but to no avail. I finally accepted myself when people started accepting me. Hope the best in your life.
Thanks for your story. Very honest, very courageous, and very wise. I wish you well with the future.
A superb presentation. You are such a beautiful person, thank you for this interesting and reflective account of your experience.
Dear nemanja, I am proud of you to tell your story here on UA-cam, (not everyone is on Instagram, Facebook ans Co….) Since short time after the passing of my husband two Years ago I had to rearrange my Life a little, and came to LGBT movies and am now sneaking into this community. All my Life long I had sympathies for diversity, made my experiences when I was young, but I‘m a straight woman😮…here we are! I hate the words „straight and gay“! Straight to me means „ in Line…being right!…no humps and turns….no asking why or saying I don’t want to…I do it my way…“ ….gay means the opposite, „ being not in Line…being wrong….not accepted, judged as a bad person……“ This is terrible!!!! Everybody is an individual Person and has the right to love whom ever he wants, as long as no one gets hurt on body or soul! This is a God given right! God made us the way we are! ……Here is the second word that makes me furious….God….I do beliefe in God, but I and all my family left churches for many reasons. But that‘s another story. I guess you know at least a part of why yourself?!
I think, we Moms and a few Dads too should have a Coming out for ourselfes. Is being straight really the better way of living? I doubt it…Asking ourselfes what we are afraid of, when a child struggles with being „different“, full of fear, not knowing who he can trust, not having someone to talk to about this struggle.
Diversity is the way of sanity! Look at all those inbred ancient Kings and Pharaos! ….
I Love you and wish you a happy life with lots of love with your partner! Don‘t let other people seperate you!❤ you only have this one life, make the best for you out of it!
You have a beautiful soul, go with peace and live your life, I salute you.
WHAT A BEAUTIFUL BOY WITH A BEAUTIFUL STORY. Thank you for sharing your life. It shouldn't be so hard to come out, but you can thank the dear Lord that you are the age you are now and didn't have to go through this 30 or 40 years ago. It was much harder then, and people just had to abandon their family and friends if they were not accepted and start a new life all over again somewhere else.
I think of all of the gay kids all over the world who have to live such stressful lives and hide who they are until they can escape their country and family.
God Bless You and I wish you the happiest life ever.
Remember, you're nobody until somebody loves you. You deserve to be loved.
Not this being the video I requested, and probably many others. Thank you for this
Thank you for sharing your story ❤️