Can Women Have A Career And A Family? - Kristina Durante
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- Опубліковано 6 лип 2024
- Kristina Durante is a professor of marketing at Rutgers Business School and a social psychologist who studies the biology of decision-making and evolution of female psychology.
For the first time in history, many women have the opportunity to pursue a career as their primary life path. But does this prohibit them from also having a family? Do women actually want to be mothers or was it their only option? Do women actually want careers or is it just a shiny new opportunity?
Expect to learn if women have an impulse to actually have children or just to have sex, whether careers make women happy, whether the marriages of career women are more or less successful, whether women's ovulatory cycles change their preferences for badboy mates, what buying expensive bags and shoes signals and much more...
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#dating #motherhood #evolutionarypsychology
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00:00 Intro
00:24 Serena Williams’ Vogue Article
09:05 Women Deny Being the Breadwinner
18:16 Is There a Female Impulse to Have a Child
23:44 Behavioural Change during Ovulation Cycles
31:57 How Careers Disturb Partnerships
39:26 Why Women Chase Bad Boys
51:23 Female Consumer Behaviour
1:01:12 How Genetics Impact Womanhood
1:07:38 Capitalism’s Effects on Female Priorities
1:18:27 Taking the EvPsych Red Pill
1:23:20 Where to Find Kristina
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I really enjoyed these insights from Kristina. Some fascinating studies in the 2nd half too. Enjoy! Here’s the timestamps:
00:00 Intro
00:24 Serena Williams’ Vogue Article
09:05 Why do Women Deny Being the Breadwinner?
18:16 Is There a Female Impulse to Have Children?
23:44 Behavioural Change during Ovulation Cycles
31:57 How Careers Disturb Partnerships
39:26 Why do Women Chase Bad Boys?
51:23 Female Consumer Behaviour
1:01:12 How Genetics Impact Womanhood
1:07:38 Capitalism’s Effects on Female Priorities
1:18:27 Dealing with Difficukt EvPsych Insights
1:23:20 Where to Find Kristina
Sometimes I think it is good to mention where the desire to become more masculine stems from. At almost every point in history power meant masculinity. When I say power I mean influence and control. In order to gain more access to influence and control EVEN within one's own life ( a lot of women did not and do not have control over their own major decisions in life) you really do have to adopt masculine traits. Am I missing anything here?
I cannot say " I would NOT do the same"...(that's the audience "arm-chair privlage" I guess)
But...
Please provide some feedback regarding the repetitive "you know" fillers
After I discovered it... it became one of those annoying things that I could not "unhear" ...you know?
After listening to this...otherwise interesting exchange... I will try to be more mindful of doing the same.
👍🏼
I used to do the thing with the Nokias too! 330, 6210, 7210 or maybe the 8810!? 🤔
Super interesting talk, mate! Keep it up 💪
Hi Chris! Another great conversation!! The high level of knowledge and intelligence your guests have - compounded by the dynamic direction you take the interview in is amazing. To address the title of this episode takes me back to reading Warren Farrell. He pointed out that Modern Women can have it all and that looks something like traditional gender roles changing and the man being the primary child caretaker after about the first nine or so months of the child being born.
There are some alarming statistics related to this interview's subject matter that I thought were relevant. For references, see any video on UA-cam with "red pill" in the title.
Women swipe right on dating apps (positive choice) 5% of the time .
Men swipe right 50%
Women initiate divorce more often than men, 60-70%, and that goes up as high as 85-90% the more educated or successful the woman is.
I am sorry, but I had to listen to this part twice... around 12 minutes, did she really say women were not able to go to war because they had to take care of the children but men were "free" to go and do that? Are you joking right now? Yes, going off and die so you can live in freedom seems like a perfect way to spend my Sunday afternoon.
Only women are allowed to be oppressed. Female nature is always the same
Keep listening there’s a couple more gems in there
This is going to sound mean, but.... she is a woman. What did you expect? He firmware doesn't allow her to see it any other way.
Let's also ignore the fact that most women on a battlefield that is powered by muscle are just targets. The only thing that allows modern women to enter a battlefield are modern weapons systems.
It is something called victim mentality
Fascinating discussion. As a high income single father in great shape (mid life), I was struck by her mental gymnastics and ideological blocks. Chris you really could have pushed this conversation a little more (imo).
salmons breathe in water, sharks breathe in water, doesnt even have to be mentioned just like all women and mental gymnastics, unless you find one that doesnt, then please by all means
To be fair to Chris, her answers were not good to the ones she was even answering.
My thought summed up much more succinctly, LOL, well said Todd D 😀 hahaha bloody hell. I ranted on for ages. I find it's because society has conditioned women to see society and women's issues, as just that, constant issues through the lense of neo-feminism-women's movement blinkers.
Her solution to stopping hypergamy... the top men have to start taking parental leave and do housework. But in order to be a "top man" you have to work. All. The. Time. The moment you stop, someone else will take your place and women will no longer consider you a "top man" or at least consider you lower in value than before. Stay at home fathers are not valued highly by women just as career women/boss babes are not valued highly by men. (Yes I know there are exceptions, but the exception proves the rule)
And all this studying she’s done that’s her solution. You really gotta wonder
The solution is quite simple, really.
It's following religion, especially christianity.
Man and woman become one flesh, which can't be separated! You become ONE. Before God!
If you take that seriously you'll do what it takes to chose wisely and make it work.
Also, no hanky panky before marriage ensures you're bonding capability is at maximum.
And, keeping in mind our Lord loves your spouse so much, he died on the cross for your spouse too. It's very hard to be angry at each other over silly stuff, when you see a beloved child of God in his eyes.
Saint John Paul II did a wonderful theological text on this, it's called Theology of the Body. Amazing work.
When both really surrender to each other, hypergamy will have no chance. Nor will the 20year old blond secretary
@@MrsYasha1984 yeah but most females would call all that “oppression”. Again, don’t look at the men, we are good with it.
I wonder how long we'll be able to keep this ridiculous dance going. There is no other solution. We had it, and we threw it away. Enjoy the decline.
When I got to that point in the video I actually laughed out loud at that.
Wow watching this scientist dance around some of these subjects really highlights the insanity of our current societal suicide.
PhD. Smh.
What was she dancing around specially?
@@Linalinalane perhaps the fact that she skims over women and men being unhappy when the woman earns more in a relationship due to biology. And then proceeds to recommend men doing more housework (and thus probably earning less) as the solution. Literally makes zero sense, just follows what the mainstream narrative will tell you
She can’t come to the conclusion that women should exit the workforce because it’s anti-feminist, so she must awkwardly work her way around it
Babies are the most important thing in the world.
“CEO men need to really start thinking about doing more chores around the house” like... my brain hurts after hearing this.
Such a dumb thing to say. Seriously, no woman will respect or admire a man who is doing chores in the house. Other than maybe cooking which is sexy. CEOs can afford to hire a maid and should.
@@Foxie770 also if you are the house handy man does that count as house hold chores? But if you are rich you might higher that all out including servants. So you have more time for running your family and business.
@@Foxie770 I agree it was a dumb thing to say.
The best part was her saying that George Clooney was photographed doing house chores and Chris responded that he ceased immediately after the photographer left @@johnjay370
Yes. Do that if you want to destroy your relationship.
37 minutes in , how do we overcome hypergamy ? The most accomplished/desirable men need to do house work. That’s enough UA-cam for today.
Don't worry, I'm sure Bill Gates will take her advice and start doing his own laundry (when his time is worth like $10,000 a second)...
That's where I jumped off.
Disappointing guest. Thought Chris did a top job trying to bring it along but she just wasn't up to the standards we've come to expect.
It's really depressing that even the few women who understand the data and are honest about the problem, can't be honest about the solution. It's the whole women break stuff and then demand men fix it for them thing again.
@@fiveleavesleft6521 I agree, but she's entrenched in the promotion of women in business, she probably knows she's part of the problem, but won't ever admit it
@@Chogie14 nailed it
KD: "Women do more work as they move up."
CW: "What are the statistics on that? "
KD: "We asked women and they reported feeling like they do more work around the house."
Seriously? Is there something more than self-reported anecdotal data on this?
Good catch.
Same stats they used to figure women do more around the house. They say they do.
Yeah, I don't buy what she said about that. I think it's more likely that these are feminist types who see themselves as superwomen and who greatly exaggerate how much they work. My mother was a career woman. She was a good mother for the most part but I was more raised by my grandmother than my mom. If a woman leaves for work at 8 am and gets home at 6/7 pm 5 days a week, how can she say she does more housework than stay-at-homes? That's obscene to say that. And quite narcissistic. Come on, there's only so many hours in a day.
@@cantbendknee all i know is living with my ex for 3 years. She'd ask me to help whenever she'd clean the floors and such on Saturdays. We'd both do our own laundry, whenever I'd run out of time and forget to remove it from the dryer, she'd freak out the next day. We'd both cook together. When it came to the "man's work" of painting, landscaping, shoveling, mowing the lawn, repairs around the house, I'd do all of it without daring to ask her for help. She'd occasionally chime in to tell me I should just be buying a new thing instead of fixing it, with my money of course.
As for the unpaid labor, I paid in full for all the vacations. Paid for the dinners out. And paid half the time for the dinners out when her family came. I swear women have some gall to talk about unpaid work. Every situation is different of course, though they are the ones picking so they get what they deserve. I ask 10 women out and am lucky if I get one. It's the opposite for them, so you want the bad boy, and get suprised he's bad at home.
@@metsfanal The unpaid labor arguments are bizarre. You're not being paid because your deflecting a cost from being incurred by your household. Also, as you mentioned, men do different kinds of work. How do you tabulate the value of being the handyman, trashman, mechanic, personal driver, bodyguard, and therapist on top of typically being the primary earner.
26 years old mom with a 1 year old son. NO. I have a job but not a career. My ability to work is around 25 hrs -30 hrs / week. It also depends, if my son is sick from daycare, then I have to take paid leave which is 80% pay. I'm happy with this unexpected change. I never wish on working more than 30 hrs a week even if my employer begs they need extra staff.
(Edit: After a year, I read comments like "why have children if the parents put them to daycare." We live in SWEDEN since my husband is Swedish. I wouldn't expect some people to understand that the quality of care and value to motherhood/fatherhood and early childhood development is higher compared to America. I would recommend to some ignorant people to do research that there are better countries than the US when it comes to balance of parenthood, children's care and work.)
Based
That's totally fine. Im against women making their job their identity, not against women working. Thats all most men want - an admission that women are more valuable when they arent wage slaves lol
Putting children in childcare is child abuse
@@filthyminges Bingo. It shouldn't be made light of - how traumatizing it can be for mothers, as well. Many women are indoctrinated to think it will be fine and cry themselves to sleep just like the children do on the first day apart. It's sad on all ends
@@filthyminges No, after they are two they have great benefit from being in a more stimulating environment.
here is something I'm doing with my wife: we are CPA's, and we started an accounting/tax providers business - she works from home, so she can get up and do something else anytime. She is not stuck to an office or a boss, etc. She gets both - it's worked quite well and we've built two incomes around her maternity needs. It can be done, just got to be smart about it.
Yeah all these guests are talking in averages/percentages and it's easy to construe this with what WILL happen. In reality these stats are just warning signs about what is on the road ahead and you have to adjust your course accordingly. If there's a bolder on the road and a sign to warn you, would you drive straight into the bolder? No you wouldn't, yet that's how people treat these stats.
I know a lot of people that do this, my brother in law repairs pools and his wife does all the book keeping and takes all the calls. Now that there kids are in school full time she has taken on a few other repair men and does their book keeping too.
most people won't be as smart, lucky and wise as you two A R. Someone still has to do the job that won't allow that kind of lifestyle.
@@serban2139 play the victim often??
this is awesome... divorce is not ideal and marriage is meant to support children, but this solution is just brilliant! God bless your family 💗🙏
When you have kids, loving them includes teaching them personal and familial responsibility, chores, and then the whole fam chips in on that "unpaid labor" transmuting that into building character, for all
All people should have life skills
@Fenwick That needs to go both ways. My experience is there are many more boys who can cook and use a washing machine, than there are girls who can change the oil in a car or use a lawn mower.
It's a feminist fantasy that before twentieth century feminism women stayed in the house doing nothing but housework. Men, women and children worked hard. The husband might be ploughing, the children might be milking cows and the wife is busy brewing ale, is a more realistic situation.
@@grannyannie2948 one only has to visit Amish country and I guarantee you the feminist creed will fall apart
@@Erykapayge the point is that chores USED to be built in to life, everyone had a part to play and ground to cover, and were all around better for it.
Perspectives have to change, the West at least is too off kilter with our humanity
She doesn’t strike me as someone that is entirely as interested or obsessed about this particular topic she is so well educated on.
She doesn’t recall previous studies she herself has conducted.
She’s all over the place and seems stumped on this topic.
Sad.
Yeah she doesn’t seem to give a 💩 it’s as if this was the chosen area to study, she studied it and concluded what most of us men concluded (because those are the facts) yet her attitude and solutions just go in the same direction as the conclusions. Only females can pull that kinda thing off
Definitely not the best Chris has had on the show to discuss this topic.
You would say that, wouldn’t you. I’ve seen the old men in here fumble as well, Chris too.
@@juneelle370 I've seen other people fumble on a particular fact, but she seems to have little memory of the subject she's ostensibly dedicated her life's work to. Of course it could just be nerves from being on camera.
You’re all right. She is a woman. She doesn’t care… her job is kids and her own research has shown it. What you are seeing, gentlepenismen, is a woman throwing in the white towel and recognising her fucking place! (her brain: ‘I am actually not interested in this subject, it’s taught me all I need to know… let me go fucj and get a babice… lick a dickice first’).
I think people forget that we are living through an experiment. Women have never had this much freedom and the younger generations are closely watching to see what happens in their relationships. Does this work? If so, does it work for a majority of people or are there only a few couples that can make this new dichotomy work?
In regards to "the haunting of traditional norms". Traditions are what they are because they work...consistently (over thousands of years!). Even in the Bay Area, where i live, it is (supposedly) one of the most liberal places in the US. Even here, women want a masculine man as a partner. They dump feminine men. No matter what narrative people want to push, women still do what women have always done. Women might *say* they support not following traditional norms, but look at their actions and they *choose* to do traditional things. So the past 20-30yrs and the entire millennial generation in this great social experiment has been moot in regards to "traditional norms"
We are not exactly living through an experiment. That experiment has been happening so se the dawn of time, we got most of the answers also. We’ve just forgot everything we learned and now we’re literally repeating history
I wonder what the younger generations are thinking, while also being indoctrinated with false narratives and faulty belief systems.
Most men have never had the freedom they do now. This is the first generation there hasn't been a draft. Men don't have to get married if they are wealthy, they can buy babies, pick the egg donor, and the surrogate womb.
@@carolynngockel3670 What are you talking about. Most men are not wealthy and/or have those options.
@@okaySam they are not false narratives
I am a married woman in the corporate world, with a family, and the statement that you can’t have it all is completely true.
About 4-5 years ago, when my children were 3 and 7, I felt a pull to focus more on my home life as a wife and mother than my career. As a result I have scaled back my career, I still work full time but I am home-based (previously I was not) and can get a lot more done around the house and be there for my children when they get out of school. My choice to go this direction has provided me with much more satisfaction and happiness than when I was focused, career-driven and serving in leadership/management roles. Looking back I would have made the switch much earlier. I love taking care of a home.
I had a very similar experience and feel no regrets stepping back from the career path (and doing freelance work from home instead) so I could spend more time at home with kids. 100% worth it for me!! 😊
💪🙌
Hence why there is a “gender pay gap” overall..
@@luke2648 All this talk about gender pay gap but they never ask "where does the man's salary go? Why are women the primary spenders? Where do they get the money?" It's demonizing men for working to give women more choices in life. Feminism is really anti-choice, "this is the way" cult-like thinking, founded by women who couldn't keep a man.
Beautifully Broken, do you think feminism lies to women?
Am I an idiot for thinking child care is a full time job? Please someone tell me.
It's sad to see so many people arguing over who *has to* stay at home. It's a privilege to work less and teach your own children.
I'll gladly be a stay at home dad. High earning ladies are welcome to slide in my DMs.
Yes you are. Full time child care isn’t a job. It’s a DUTY. It’s a RESPONSIBILITY as a PARENT. Looking at the raising of one’s children as “unpaid labor” is indicative of just how narcissistic society has become.
@@U4ia28 Infants under three experience abandonment in daycare leading to permanent emotional problems. It's easily seen in young adults today.
@@U4ia28 agreed! Very well said
It's definitely a full-time job especially from the time they're born until their earlier teens. Anyone who questions whether or not it's a full-time job is utterly ignorant of what it's like to raise a family. It's beyond full-time. It's 24/7
Can ye breast feed? 😂 No? Your not qualified man.
I wouldn't call being able to go to war a luxury.
😂 mental gymnastics
Look at it this way, you wouldn't have to listen to women like this if you died. That must mean something!
All in all, I think past conversations (in mainstream culture) around sex and relationships minimised/downplayed the influence biology has on human behaviour.
Personally... I believe that the more we understand our internal drivers (why we want what we want), the better we are at getting what we want out of life!
Not to mention, you get to decide which tradeoffs (if any) you’re going to accept into your life vs. having life (or biology) force your hand.
Which makes for a much simpler, happier existence.
As always, great conversation Chris!
Not so sure about it. We are with all this knowledge going in a downward spiral. We are not doing better and are less happy then previous generations. Maybe the next generation will be better.
I'm a big fan of the podcast and I love discussions around gender dynamics but I have to say that this episode was a little underwhelming.
The guest was a little all over the place - she couldn't remember her own studies, she made very unlikely inferences and she seemed unsure of her results. Her solution to increased hypergamy was to have the high value men start taking parental leave and do laundry. Um.... have you ever met high value men?? They value their time at like $1000 an hour. That's how they became high value and high status men. They don't have time to do laundry and if they did have the time, they certainly wouldn't spend it by doing laundry.
It just felt like she didn't do her homework or she was afraid to speak openly about these issues because of backlash from certain groups. But having said that, it was definitely an interesting topic to discuss about and we need more of such discussions. Chris was brilliant as usual.
Yes, agree, she's not up there with the level of guests I'm used to
yes, its like women want the "high value " man for his resources.... but...also to spend all of his time helping at home. this is impossible for either spouse...u cant work 80 hrs at the office and 180 hrs at home.
The reason you get paid for your work is because you are doing something that you wouldn't choose to do if you weren't being paid. harsh statement , but actually a fact.
unless you're lucky and the things you like, the things you are good at and the things you get paid for just happen to line up
I'm forever saying most men and women don't have fulfilling careers. They have jobs.
"Women have to make a tradeoff that men don't have to make."
Or another way to look at it: Women have the privilege of having a choice between having a career and having children. There's a significant cohort of men who will never match with a woman and therefore never have children of their own; or if the guy does match and his partner gets pregnant, she may decide unilaterally to terminate the pregnancy. So guys don't have as much of a choice when it comes to carreer or kids.
There are lots of childless women, who want to become mothers, but can't find a trustworthy partner to procreate with. But I partly agree. It's even worse for men
No? Bc we if the man leaves us we will be poor and have nothing. The man can always go for a younger woman. There is no stability
I've read that women also have an easier time re-entering the workforce after having kids. Everyone expects them to take time off, so a four year gap (or more) isn't looked down on as much. It shows she is conscientious.
Women have to sacrifice one for another one. Look at Elon Musk, he has 9 kids and he's 50 years old, he didn't have to sacrifice his career to have kids. Women can't do this biologically.
@@madonebo9249 Ursula von der Leyen has seven children
I severely doubt the claim made at 3:22. Working women may seem like they do more housework because since nobody is doing the maintenance of daily housework, it piles up and the working woman has to tackle the build-up and make an event of it. Whereas the stay at home mother manages the little things constantly and generally prevents such event worthy build up in occurring in the first place.
Actually about a quarter can afford to have maid service to clean their homez
Not only that, but if it's the man's role to take care of the dirtier, more physically demanding jobs (tending to the yard, taking out the trash, repairing things, etc...) it really does even out in the end. It's just that in one case the work may be more constant at a low level, and in another it's higher intensity for a shorter amount of time.
"They just don't make em like they used to."
@@impudentdomain
With 2 toddlers?
@@okaySam
Ya they quit
hmmm... I doubt very much that women don't go to war because if they did "the babies would die." I think it's more to do with the fact that the men are better suited for that kind of thing, and that even then it was clear that men were expendable since sperm is plentiful and cheap, but eggs are more costly to make and a woman can only do one pregnancy at a time... whereas a man can go around and get a bunch of women preggo at once.
Not to mention that men never had a choice, as you were either punished by law or shamed.
I'm pretty sure women didn't go to war because it was illegal until 2013 when women were allowed to serve in direct combat roles. Talk to your lawmakers and give women a choice. Those socialist countries like Sweden, Norway, etc that allow 2 years maternity leave also mandate women be included in their military drafts.
agreed... so now that half of women at age 30 have zero kids and many want zero kids ever... i guess they should all be going to help with the war effort. right? after all "going to war is a privilege right" something we are " free to do". please make it make sense or stop saying it.
"Woman have to make a tradeoff"? Most men don't even get a seat at the reproduction table! I don't even bother dating anymore because the woman I encounter are all after the guy who is making more than me. The relationship starts fine, but they are always one foot back in the game (dating apps) for the better option.
They are always thinking about the next guy " hypergamy "
sounds like you're a few steps ahead of me and you're struggling? I quit trying NOW as well, thanks for the heads up lol
@@serban2139 I think I was struggling when I was trying to play the useless modern dating game. At my age (50s), I'm not really interested in spending every waking moment to be in the top 10% of men, just to attract a hyper-masculin woman who gives me constant headaches. I'm content with friends and hobbies.
Keep being strong n growing
Where I live many women project their hypergamy with gaslighting. The man is an oppressor for enforcing any kind of boundary.
There is no such thing as “you must do it this” way in life. I’m married , husband ❤️, kids , we have a home and we have our careers. it’s not for the weak . 😂 Figure out what you want and go for it . Great conversation and guest
As a stay at home dad who raised three under three, men don’t have to be a spare part. Obviously I couldn’t breast feed but there was precious little that I couldn’t do. A lot of mums almost need to be the primary. Evaluate your own situation and organise your family accordingly.
So true, even holding the baby is a ton of relief for the mom and that’s the bare minimum a man can do.
Yes I agree and have experience with that too. Men can do everything that a female can do, except the biological bit. This idea that an infant needs a female is misleading. Infant needs “mothering” not a human female/male.
All humans should be conditioned to take care of an infant. It’s like the most basic test of your character.
Exactly! My dad worked while my mum was a home with 6 kids but he would get up at night for us as well if my mum was tired and he never once complained about it.
It depends on the adults personality and how they were raised. My uncle raised 7 children while his wife worked. She has a horrible temper but his patience is limitless.
@@carmelmulroy6459 I think that was covered with “ evaluate your own situation “, but patience is indeed a virtue. 🙏🏻
"The more women gain status, the more discord happens in their marriage." I find this absolutely fascinating, and extremely uncomfortable, because I also believe that the more women gain status, the more discord happens in their society. I think that is an extremely unfortunate and unfair but irremovable property of our species. The future is interesting.
He isn’t denigrating females he’s just pointing out facts. Women aren’t raised to be respectful of power. They don’t have the fear of physical violence to make them watch what they say or do growing up. They just aren’t brought up like guys are, so their ability to wield power is a bit immature. Since they can’t act out physically, (and they will, if they want to, without penalties incurred by men) so they just get a phd in emotional backstabbery.
It’s like spare the rod, spoil the child. Except, spare the toil, spoil the girl
Now that is denigrating. ^
@@monikagolab8892 It isn't denigration.
Every time she says "you know" you do one shot.
Not even seasoned alcoholics can survive that
sadly, i found when she said "you know" what she actually meant was..."i dont want to say what i know to be true...so i will just infer " how about an honest discussion with lots of stats to back up assertions...instead if lots of " i feel....therfore"
Here's a what I heard her say: "Men need to curb their natural proclivities, so that women don't have to worry about the fact that they are curbing their natural proclivities" or more bluntly: Men need to act like women so that women don't have to worry about acting like men.
“CEO men need to really start thinking about doing more chores around the house” like... my brain hurts after hearing this.
Spot on, women are being told that men’s dreams and desires will make them happy. Then women find they aren’t happy because nature has other plans, and who do they blame? Men 🙄
i wish that is what i heard her say. what i heard was "men need to work harder to make money and at the home so that women can work less..and choose what they prefer..and not share their time , effort and earnings" seems pretty fair...where can i sign up. lol
This topic of housework always makes me laugh 😅 women CHOOSE what level of work they do in the house, they always set the standard then complain about it 🤣🤣🤣 I care full time for my 2 sons and I never had a problem doing washing, cooking, cleaning etc. It's such easy work, complaining about it is pathetic
I actually enjoy doing dishes, washing clothes, cooking and keeping the flat clean. It doesn't take much of my time, it reduces stress and it feels like doing something of importance. But I do do it my way. If my wife complains, I tell her to do it herself. We have 3 sons
Thanks for your anecdotal take but that’s all it is! Most men turn their nose up at having to do dishes or pick up after themselves.!
@@Nah-ah ah so you object that I'm giving an anecdote, by using your own anecdote, in which you complain about other people not adhering to your own arbitrary personal standard. Thank you for being a precise example of exactly what I was talking about 🤣🤦💁♂️
If she ain't complaining, she ain't happy!
@@Nah-ah Maybe you shouldn't get into relationships with slobs. Most men I know know share domestic duties and know how to make a cake for birthdays
Please Chris W viewers, help me with this. For me I found this interview quite interesting and I’d like your comments if my opinion was observed by others or if it was just me. First, it seemed to me that this interviewee was quite nervous and cautious and I couldn’t figure it out until she said, “I’m all for women finding financial independence because it gives them more freedom.” Not the exact quote but very close. Then it all hit me. She has her biased agenda to promote. When Chris would ask a question or a comment that was a fact and it didn’t follow her agenda, she seemed very uncomfortable. It seemed as if she didn’t want to answer the question with unbiased, accurate data. Also, one thing she kept on stating was that men don’t do enough to “take care of children”. Men and women bring up children completely differently. Male and females play completely different roles in the upbringing of children. I also found that when Chris would state, “women do this….” and that “this” was unflattering, she would say that’s because it’s ingrained in a woman’s subconscious, they are wired that way so it’s not their fault.
Overall, I found her thoughts very biased, not based on the factual differences in male and females. She had a specific agenda throughout.
My thoughts - let me know if I’m way off.
I completely agree with your assessment!
I completely agree. She said a lot of stuff was ingrained into us women by society when in actuality there are hundreds of studies that show boys and girls as young as 12 weeks old show drastic differences in interests. Girls are much more responsive to faces and people and can tell the difference between family faces and strangers faces whereas boys are more likely to be interested in toys and shapes and as a toddler r better at finding a lost toy in a room. If anyone is interested in all this behaviour stuff, read the book ‘Men don’t listen and women can’t read maps’ it’s great and packed full of scientific research
True, it's hard to listen
Fully agreed. It got to the point I was not sure what the topic was meant to be. It all came of a word salad prepared at Cosmo, or Vogue or something. It was a waste of time
Yeah I totally agree, the point where I really went 'oh ok then I see what this is' was when she recommended that male celebrities pose doing the dishes in order to get blokes to help with the housework
I work with 3 full time moms who have multiple kids and my answer is NO(to the title) simply based on that experience of mine. Now 3 isn't enough to make such a generalisation, but I can't IMAGINE a chronic burnt out stressed mom NOT underperform in child care, but hey, what do I know? I'm a man, right?
Burn out is very real.
Full time moms? ...do some take a break from it? :D
@@juls5347 yes they do, it’s called child neglect. It happens everyday in broken homes. Smh
I love that you grasp the concept of chronic burnout. In my community we're expected to do literally EVERYTHING. Had no choice but to jump the fence!!
This is why more and more women don’t want kids. The challenge of taking care of kids and working full time job is insane if you aren’t born rich.
So getting higher education to get higher high paying job is the only to afford a good lifestyle without kids.
Competent, attractive, male seeking high status high earning female so I can be a stay at home dad, cook the meals, do the laundry and throw the dishes in the automatic cleaning machine while listening to podcasts and going baby curls all day while you take on the government and corporate tycoons. Think twice before abdicating this to men 🥰😂
I look forward to being an old woman.
I am grateful that I grew up in church and was surrounded by inspirational women who understood the integral role they were playing in civilization and strong, traditional men who were completely satisfied with their role in supporting and uplifting their wives and children.
I started a family very young in a time when young women were being warned about the dangers of sacrificing their "education" and freedom to support a husband and children.
And now, as my children get older and more capable (I am incredibly proud of them) I look forward to a time not so far away, where I will be free to explore even more opportunities outside the home.
But I was also a "nerd" in high school. And being religious as well, I was keenly aware how dangerous is it to lose yourself in your biological mechanisms and societal expectations.
I feel terribly sad for the women who live in regret because they directed their magic to all the wrong places.
Yet look around and most married people are miserable
@@wyleecoyotee4252 There are plenty of healthy, happy marriages.
The video highlighted how women, exclusively, carry the responsibility of life giving. How our drive to proliferate is in conflict with our desire for autonomy. The human race exists because uncountable ancestral women cooperated with their instincts and with men enduring both resignation and unfathomable joy.
@@wyleecoyotee4252 Same goes for most single people. It has nothing to do with being married or not, it has more to do with a lack of fulfillment in life, and having children is very fulfilling for the majority of women, as it gives them a continued purpose in life. When people feel they have no purpose in life and don't know what they want, that is when the mental health issues kick in.
In other words, the happiest people in the world are the ones who know what they want, have worked to achieve those things, and feel fulfilled as a result. The people who want certain outcomes in life but aren't willing to work to achieve them or have failed to achieve them, they are the ones who end up depressed and miserable.
@@sarahahmad9891
Statistically only 16% of marriages are happy
Agree it’s not about married or not married. But I can tell you the way it’s set up now is a disaster to everyone. You can’t have 2 working parents stretched thin thinking you can raise healthy children to the best of your capability. Having women enter the work force was the biggest scam in the world. I’m not saying women should not enter the workforce absolutely not because to be human is to express your own agency and live your fullest. The issue is pushing the agenda that you must work under the guise of this so called oppression. We know how it’s working out. The next generation including females will see how this has not worked out and will not follow suit. It’s not about who’s better, it’s about nature, harmony and order. First and foremost the sanctity of the nuclear family unit.
Most career women hire other people to run their households. Women with money in very high positions are less at home, they’ve gone past the guilt stage of trying to do it all.
My son gravitates to me more since he’s been born. The child will want whoever provides the majority of its needs. This can lead to gravitating to the dad if the dad does a lot of bottle feeding early on and has paternity leave.
Listened on spotify. She seemed to be winging it on every answer
Of course they can, how dare you ever question that they can’t have everything and be deliriously happy. If they have any issues doing this the laws will be changed to make it possible. Childless women and men will just have to work more hours for free to achieve this noble objective. After all as we all know and are told endlessly its a man’s world and the gender pay gap is horrendous.
Women not wanting to tell studies they’re making more money is on all them.
They’re embarrassed for themselves about not having a higher value male than them,
What I’m saying is it a reflection of a lower quality woman.
No woman o know is making more than her man, that’s just me though
A woman pretending her man is making more money is like a man pretending his woman is hotter than she really is. I love academia just like the next nerd. But a lot of this stuff is really not that deep....
Or an instinct to protect husband's dignity since they are aware the world is judgmental and unkind when they fall outside the typical.
@@elibennett6168 that could be part of it, but when it really comes down to it, it shows a woman who couldn’t get a man she wanted since by nature women practice hyergamy.
Women want a man that in their eyes is superior to them someone they can look up to,
@@JDmix123 I would say that is rather blunt reasoning - hypergamy does not explain all male-female dynamics and there are plenty of other proven patterns at play.
An N=1 here. I was working in corporate America in my early 30's. Ran back into an old flame from my mid 20's and it was on baby! We were both finally mature enough to settle down and mature enough to know that it was time to get out of the rat race of singledome. He is very handsome and a hard worker. He's an electrician now but was still working on figuring out what he wanted to do when he grew up back then. With the pressure of a woman and potential family - he got serious and went into the trades. Not a high status world but they get paid good money and with that I was able to quit work and stay home to raise our kids. Now my oldest is a freshman in high school and youngest is a 6th grader but I am still really involved in their lives and don't plan of changing that. No I am not a helicopter parent but I support my kids development and they feel that safety net! My husband and I delineate the labor around the house by traditional gender roles and it works out great! I have so much freedom now to pursue my intellectual interests and do all my workouts and other spiritual activities. I am a well balanced woman who sacrificed making my own money in the corporate world but hit the actual jackpot in terms of living a good life. We have a very good marriage and two happy kids. We look forward to when the kids are gown and he's retired (hopefully by the age of 60) and we can both live this blessed life.
"woman who sacrificed making my own money in the corporate world", i sacrificed in my life too instead of being CEO of Microsoft by not being CEO of Microsoft, the only thing i didnt get was another person to pay/ support for everything i need. Another success in a dual mating strategy , making it 2 already on this video, and looky here she did him such a massive favor long past 30 hitting that magic geriatric pregnancy age 35, and like magic, poof a husband appears. This has been working for quite some time, probably for several 100's of years unbeknownst to men, it will less and less in the future, but congrats on capturing your prey.
Sure they can, but you have to rearrange the title. It’s FAMILY then CAREER. Modern society put career first to destroy the nuclear family
"Men are free to go to war" is an odd statement. In major conflicts, there is a mass mobilization (i.e., the draft) and hesitate to claim that this is an act of freedom. Women were lucky to have the choice that men did not.
Yeah, she’s a idiot. War is no big deal. Being a mom… that requires outsourcing. Lol 🎉
She’s about women’s happiness but doesn’t know 50% of women globally are married by 18.
And immediately she takes the frame that half of the women waited to be married.
NO, that’s not what’s fascinating. What’s fascinating is 50% are married by 18.
She also seams slightly sweaty and maybe micro dosing on mushrooms.
They didnt even have a choice lol. They couldnt even if they wanted to lol. Not that any of them wanted to
Yeah which is why is extremely overdue for women to register for the Selective Service when they turn 18 like all men in this country have done. Equal rights means equal responsibility.
Don't know why the government keeps dragging its feet on implementing this fair requirement. You can't cherry pick your rights and responsibilities.
@@pointblanksMen are more physically capable in combat from a biological perpspective. I think we should either just have conscription for all males, or require every war to have a national vote after congressional vote. Direct democracy for all defense matters. Also make the rich men go, and require all male politicians under 40 and their male sons over 18 have to go to war.
@@pointblanksThen tax the extreme rich and corporations at 90%, bring back labor unions, nationalization the majority of public utilities, defense sectors, etc. go after corruption, bureaucracy, and graft, ban politicians from taking donor money, and ban all lobbies, bring in a social safety net. With that we get universal healthcare, education, housing, etc. and paid maternity leave for moms and paternity leave for dads, and the ability to have a single income household if they choose. Make the CEOs and investors pay more. A wallstreet tax/monthly fee tied to investment as well. Shorten the work week to 4 days, and 6 hours, but keep pay the same. Readjust the economy. More worker controlled workplaces as well, with voting for management. The state needs to regulate the market, and we also need things like rent control, wealth ceilings/caps.
Perhaps the most la-la land interview you've had in awhile. This tells you how much the data was written to seem PC in these college texts the past 40 years. PhD. SmH.
Good conversation. If anyone has the patience to tally up how many times “ya know” was stated in this discussion, I’ll appreciate you.
I'm 3mins and was looking for someone commenting on 'ya know'
I had to stop listening, it drove me mad.
I had the same problem. There was also a few « you know , we don’t know ». I admit i have not checked her papers. I suppose she writes quite differently then how she speaks.
many , many , many times. just substitute in the phrase " i dont want to answer the question honestly as it might upset the feminist crowd...so i will just say "you know" to infer instead.
She lost me at, “marriage is set up, it highly benefits men..”
Well, it probably does...
Until divorce, obviously....
This could have been a fascinating interview if she didn't keep saying 'I don't know, that's a tough one'.
I was born with a kitten on my shoulder. I didn’t ask for it, I don’t want it there and without a doubt, if I could get rid of it I would. That being said, the satisfaction involved in watching this kitten grow and evolve is the most satisfying thing I have ever experienced.
I also don’t ovulate in case you were wondering
My two cents on the title, everything has a trade-off. If you prioritize your career or job, then your family life will suffer and vice versa. Most people have jobs, and a lucky few get careers. At the end of the day, most people will be expendable to your employer, not so much with family.
Family is equally expendable
@@impudentdomain
'I wish I could have had a more lucrative job to be able to live how I want to." Yes
The suggestion that men need time off work to load a washing machine is hilarious.
I have a friend who is a plumber. He reads quantum physics for fun and also has a successful real estate business (he can do all repairs himself, and enjoys working with his hands.) He has been married to a surgeon for about 15 years now. Having a blue collar job / not going to college is not a reflection on intelligence.
Physicist plumber real-estate moguls are probably the exception, not the rule.
In Australia this is quite common. Many university educated women do marry tradesmen and view it as marrying up. Ofcourse they have to compete with pretty young shop assistants and hairdresser's to do so. Tradesmen in my country are often very well paid, $200 000 + and enjoy a large degree of independence. Choosing a trade over a fluff degree in a saturated market is in itself a sign of intelligence.
Probably comes down to his interests outside of work that sparks their connection. I dont think a surgeon is going to be attracted to a plumber who in his spare time goes down to the pub every evening and plays darts with the boys.
Exceptions doesn't change the statistics they covered.
Depends on the company at the pub. A good watering hole will have docs, techbros, business people, and artists.
most women got no career, just corporate jobs
I'm kind of struggling with this guest. The topics are really interesting but I don't feel like she can really say something representative about those topics. That is in contrast to let's say the podcast with william costello where to any question you would get a firm and clear answer which was scientifically backed. Many of her answers feel wishy washy and more based on feelings rather then science imho. With some questions I felt like Chris had more to say then her.
Endless choices, and yet just a limited number of options
We women forget that we have equal value but different roles. The beauty of our lives is that we can choose a career or stay at home but you can’t (as a rule) do both at once. Your family will suffer or your job will suffer.
I agree in part though many women don’t have a choice but to work despite having kids.
I disagree. As a man, I feel women are valued much more than I am. Like we aren't even in the same league. Men are liabilities and women are assets, that's how we're treated
Also, women can technically "choose career" - but the statistics show that those who do end up severely depressed by age 35-40. It's nice when you're still young and attractive, but once the men stop looking and you realize your boss doesn't care about you, it can be pretty depressing not having a family
This is false, I know plenty of women who can have both. It all depends on how you go about it and what types of careers you pursue.
@@xraceboyex this is because you’ve been demoralized.
Men have invented almost everything you’ve ever seen.
Yet we men don’t talk about it…
It’s simply demoralization . Build up your self esteem and you’ll feel valuable again.
Guys climb up on the roof and fix it. Chicks pick up the phone and complain about it.
Yes women are valuable… and today they are hyper inflated in value.
It’s not good for them nor good for us. It’s not a us / them dichotomy… but elites have agenda.
The Century Of Self by Adam Curtis shows how elite men have manipulated Americans and women to stimulate the economy.
This chick is part of that system and is not aware of it. She’s all about female freedom.
This was the tool used to get women to start smoking 😂😢😮 in the 1900’s early…
Over and over again freedom is used to teach women to be separate from men, families and husbands.
The man will tell her no, don’t buy that purse, don’t smoke that cigarette, don’t buy $200k in college debt.
Men are the ones who tell their women no. The elites don’t like that.
Watch the documentary as it’s aimed to share advertising tools used to manipulate.
It’s not pro men nor pro women. But you can see how it shaped most everything around us.
You know
Edit: don’t mean to be toxic but literally could not keep listening.
I hope this observation makes me more aware of the chosen words I use when speaking without a script
I have 4 kids, wife is stay at home mom, homeschools them, and hangs out with other moms. She's happy, but she always "knew" she wanted to be a mom because we both grew up Mormon.
She did work as a Dental Hygienist for a number of years before we had kids but ask soon as we had kids she logged out the "paid" workforce.
It is more costly to pay for child care both financially and psychologically than you can earn working out of the home.
@@monikagolab8892 In the US we've mostly phased out pensions, people save money while they're working to fund their own retirement.
@Fenwick It is! In the US, it's 2 years of university with an expected starting salary about $75,000 per year.
It's also come in handy many times knowing more about dentistry and other dentist.
@@cogit8able Unfortunately if you don't plan on having a spouse stay home then what happens is lifestyle becomes to big for only one income, thus it becomes much more difficult to scale down your lifestyle to live on one good income.
@@monikagolab8892 What country is that? Yes, governments give incentives for having both parents work outside the home.
Of course if there are strong families then we wouldn't need as much government is my opinion, so they are acting in their own self interest!
Most women I have worked with happily gave up their career to raise a family. A few sacrificed family for career, and some (like my mother) put it on hold for a time. Every woman should be supported for whatever choice they make.
Well said
Not every decision should be supported.
No, more women need to go into the workplace so my stocks can go up.
I find motherhood more challenging and draining than work.
@@Nah-ah me too
On the question of why women want men who earn more: Because money in most people's cases is simply a measurable outcome of skills, status, and competency. Women want a more skilled, higher status, and higher competency man. The bottom line representation of that is money.
"women couldn't go off to war because then children would die. Men were free to go to do that" Lucky men, we truly are privileged. Imagine having to stay at home with the kids that you love instead of dying in a trench or getting chopped to pieces by strangers.
Yes. The idea that men are 'free to...' and have no trade-offs to make is incorrect. If we want a mate, chances are we have to choose a career that wouldn't otherwise be our first choice. If we want kids, chances are we have to work longer hours at the cost of less time with them. Etc. At least women have a choice. For men, there are only three: work, work, or more work. Difference is, we generally don't complain about it!
This is how you stay attractive to high earning women without making more money: Focus on being hyper masculine, ie lift weights and be as physically strong as possible, work with your hands and be able to fix things around the house. Be passionate about something healthy and keep improving over your life. That’s it. Money isn’t everything. If you were to look at the men these high earning women divorced I guarantee their ex lost his masculinity or never had it. This is very hard to do after marriage because men no longer have to maintain their masculine edge to chase the woman. I see it over and over in my married friends and family. There are a few disciplined outliers.
Yeah, sounds right. I am a man in my early 40s and since I have been a stay-at-home das for some time I have had time to work out a lot. I have noticed more women paying attention to me, especially around my age and even older. I don’t seem to attract younger women as much. Maybe that’s because I just don’t get the signs or maybe it’s because they are just not into masculine dudes as much.
Im 45 and date career women. They are confused and lost not unlike incels. When you ask 'can women be incels?' I would say career women are the rough equivelent.
add passive aggressiveness to that, with a hint of depression.
Incels are involuntary celebate. If you're dating them and having sex with them they're not incels.
What are they confused about?
@@charlieweaver6322 why masculine men aren't attracted to our intense energy and value our accomplishments as much as our parents did.
@@SourceLeadership
In my country most women work and it's not even an issue.
She says unpaid labor pursuits at home???
So laundry costs how much?
Fixing the washing machine costs how much?
Both parties kinda ignore the work of the other, but these days… she laughed and said the “manly” jobs around the house.
Imagine a man laughing and saying “womanly things like laundry” then laughs scoffingly.
There is no respect and don’t let the laugh be just a laugh… it’s actually confusion and despair.
It’s scoffing at not being able to the job the man does or not want to do it cus it’s yucky.
She’s very pro women and not pro family.
Guys go off to war and women couldn’t really outsource child care at the time… 😢
Okay. Loving your kids, building your family… that’s kinda problematic, being attacked in war?? Not a big deal.
Mmmmm-k-Ultra.
Chris made a great point that we don’t think as a society we need to make a progressive correction for men having more of a sex drive than women. But for “disadvantages” to women, which are usually just biological and evolutionary realities, we think we need to make a progressive change to society. Great point Chris!
The corporate job environment is not normal for anybody. Two thousand years ago everyone worked in the family group - the husband, the wife, their children who were able to work with the parents, and different family tasks were split between men, women and children based on their ability to do them. Beyond the family, there was the extended family and the small tribal/village group. The key thing was that the family stayed and worked together except in certain cases where men needed to go out on a hunting expedition or to herd animals, while women stayed with children. The difference now is that if they work, men and women work outside the family. The corporation replaces the family, and colleagues replace friends, and this happens before you have a family, but the corporation is not your family and colleagues are mostly not your friend. Men have less of a problem with this than women because the corporation and colleagues somewhat resemble hunting groups or groups formed to wage war. Women have more problems adapting because the corporation and colleagues are less like female relative peer groups because they do not have your interests in mind in the same way an extended family or small tribal group might. Home working or a husband and wife business in which they are able to allocate tasks flexibly (as opposed to husband and wife working in different businesses of fixed roles in their joint business) might overcome this problem.
The other problem is the typical relative ages of husband and wife where historically, the husband was typically 7 years older than the wife, wnd this age gap has now disappeared. Men are about a year slower in development than women, and women are hypergamous, and men are attracted by young women. The reason for this is that human children require a huge amount of effort to bring up since children take 18 years to develop and they require an immense amount of attention to bring up to adulthood and teach and instruct to become functional adults. This requires two parents working together and the man is required to support the woman while she is pregnant and bringing up younger children, and both parents are required to train their respective genders for adulthood after that. Hypergamy in women is deeply embedded by evolution because they needed to secure a man who would be able to support them and their children while they were being brought up. To meet this requirement, men For men needed to accumulate resources, status etc. and this took time to do. Therefore men got married later and men's fertility lasted until much later in life than women. Women used to get married as soon as they were able to do so, and built a work role and family resources after they had children (in late motherhood or as a grandmother) but they are now pressured to build status (careers) and resources in the same timeline as men, and this clashes with their more limited fertility window. The solution to this would be for women to marry older men with resources and status who are capable of supporting them and their children right away, and have the opportunity to delay their careers so they can take a break to have children, and then to build their career after they have had their children and they are attending school/nursery.
A lot of these studies seem to be specifically based around the US perspective. Having spent a lot of time overseas, I'm not certain the ideas of success, confidence, and purpose line up the same if you start including cultures outside the US.
I agree, even in other countries of the anglosphere.
I agree. I'm from Northern Europe. The basic concepts and topics are the same here as well, but the society here is culturally a lot less conservative and gender roles are less strict
@@HerrMikael That may change. I'm Australian and our gender roles were always like that, even in the early days women were praised for being good with guns and horses etc. However forced government intervention into transgender children has completely changed that. Nolonger is it safe for little girls to wear jeans and tee shirts to play in, they constantly wear party dresses, and parents punish children for playing with toys that don't match their sex, in an effort to protect their children from gender reassignment drugs and surgery.
A man can make 100k easy and his wife can work, but if he wants to get the 200k or 250k+ and upwards he needs a wife to take care of all the home duties. A stay at home wife/mom is potentially worth $150k plus for the family.
The percantage of men who make 250k is unsignificant for the subject. I'm guessing 6 figures i still quite rare as well
Very good segment. Like you said, the people who need to see this information won’t ever get this information.
45:27 - re: sex ratios. Kristina's observation is "When there are no men around, women become more competitive" How does this affect male/female dynamics in light of the fact that in many universities, women outnumber men 2:1 or more, but the outside world is far closer to 50/50? I feel there's insight to be researched and discovered in her comment and the current reality. Is that part of the problem today - the presumed fact that the ratios are different in the 'campus bubble' vs life outside once you graduate? Can it be that there's a massive disconnect between the ratios in universities and the outside world, maybe young women are having trouble reconciling the two worlds as they transition from one to the other?
In a long time I have not listened person who does not belevie in words as they are coming out from her mouth, this was a great exercise in delusion, great one Chris
I am a working mom of two kids. I have 2 well-paying jobs and my husband is a stay at home dad; we are perfectly happy.
Ive been a stay at home dad for 4 years; my wife works full time. It works out well for us also. Would you say you have a more masculine personality? More competitive & disagreeable? My wife works IT, very focused on things and her own projects. Not a people person at all. Probably more disagreeable than most women. Conversely I'm probably more agreeable than most other men. I wonder if those less common personality differences may explain why it works for us.
You guys get support with childcare and either have work from home jobs?
It works because in your system, one parent is still the homemaker, caretaker, able to stay home and protect the family while the other (yourself) provides.
@@serban2139 My wife works from home. Childcare was mostly on me until our son was about 3, then started part time daycare for the socialization.
@@KingRyanoles I am very introverted and family-oriented. I would not describe myself as masculine in any way, I very much enjoy being a wife, mother, and caretaker. My husband is a very masculine man in opposite of me, he definitely is the man of the house. Being a man is not about how much money you earn, being a man is far far more than that, just like being a woman is much more than being a mother or an accessory to a man. I work in Instructional Design and Technical Writing, while training in computer analytics and programming. It just made more sense for me to be the financial supporter for us as I can work from home rather than him be away from the family all the time to bring home less money. My husband is an amazing man who does so much for me and our family, anyone who see's stay at home dads as anything less than wonderful is a fool.
The question in the west is no longer can women have a career and a family. It’s that nowadays women have to have a career, and some get to have a family. Most men do not make enough to support their family comfortably, at least to the standards and values of modern life. As well as the judgement and jealousy women face from other women, if they currently are, or aspire to be, housewives…
Thanks
Thank you Rosslyn!
The bottom line is success and hypergamy DONT MIX for women. They are opposing forces. Womens overall attraction criteria and dating strategy isn’t conducive to also being successful career women. We as men date down by default of women expecting us to be better than they are and have more than they do. So our dating pool will always be big in relation to our level of success. Women trying to be hypergamous while successful is shooting themselves in the foot.
Agreed. Well said. Like oil and water. Doesn't mix.
But will you want a woman who earns more than you and who is more successful than you?
@@Ugnele Of course not. For what? So she can inevitably look down on me and resent me later? It’s a waste of both my time as well as hers. If women were capable of GENUINELY loving and respecting a man who is less successful than her then most men wouldn’t care about being less successful than their women. But we all know and understand that women aren’t capable of doing that so we move accordingly.
This is a problem that is bigger in the US than in Europe, mostly due to free time, which is next to non existent if you're employed.
And subsidized child care
@@carl9901 It's almost like there are more efficient ways to organize societies
Very very interesting
It’s really intuitive that you see how women become the default parent of young children.
I have a newborn and no matter what, there are things my husband cannot do. He cannot feed the baby. He cannot always soothe the baby. Whether he admits it or not, he also doesn’t see the baby’s cues as readily.
When I had my first, I was in graduate school, thinking my husband and I would split the labor equally and it just is not possible - especially with breastfeeding.
America was Never about the family, from its foundation till now-but they certainly liked the idea of it. America and many other developed countries prioritized 'financial elevation' and 'working hard', drilling it into the minds of men and women. As a country, now, you are MUCH more privileged than others because of it- but at the cost of 'families'. While other countries that are not as developed, prioritized the family with the cost of horrible economies and still weak family units. No number of women staying at home, and men going to work will change the culture that made America 'AMERICA' and that's held in the heart of every American. So, the question should be, "Can America have it all?"
Stop wasting your time writing comments if you’re not going to say much.
As a lesbo, I can say that I definitely behave differently if a high-status man is around. Whether that is high status in looks or another area. I am hyper aware of this subjective experience because as I mentioned I am a lesbo lol and for a verrryyy long time I questioned if I was even really a lesbian or couldn't get a high-status mate in the male department. Yeah, but I do behave differently around these men but just no sexual tension or sexual desire to do anything but much more attentive to them than I guess "average" men. I hate being human ;(
Interesting! Instinct of hypergamy is still there. I also find it interesting that most lesbians are below average in attractiveness compared to gay guys. I wonder if that has a part to play in the sexual orientation?
Your DNA doesn’t care your personal preferences, dreams, what you want from life or religious beliefs. It’s programmed to give you the best chance to reproduce healthy surviving offspring. It’s why good Christian men in committed happy monogamous marriages will toss religion money and culture to bang the plain Jane secretary.
So you’re a typical woman in some regards but not others
That's not that different from a straight guy. When there's an exceptional man, they can definitely have an aura and you can definitely want to follow them around, like that Seinfeld episode where George has a man crush on the "cool guy."
It's not so bad. By talking about this stuff and bringing the subconscious into conscious discussion and making it intuitive, you become more ahead of the curve than you think. There is wisdom in truly knowing thyself as they say.
Great podcast, you know, I don't know :p
Yes. Yes, I do know.
Yes but it can wear a woman out if she isn't careful. Burnout is very real. Balance is key 🔑 I was working full-time night shift as a single mother while going back to school online program to climb up corporate ladder. While taking care of my precious baby daughter. I ended up burning out my candle on both ends 🕯 I got sick and worn down so I finally let go of school and cut back my work hours to per diem which was basically work one 12 hour shift a week. I'm grateful for the tremendous support of my parents. I couldn't had made it without them. Truly grateful
The "POWER COUPLE" was always a DESTRUCTIVE concept
I wish Kristina was asked why she describes motherhood as "unpaid labour".
I'm aware stay-at-home mothers speak of being devalued, by other women, for that choice instead of a professional career.
I'm also aware most feminists think motherhood is a service fathers should pay for like one would pay a live-in, housekeeping nanny.
I'm curious which of these two Kristina was referring to.
And it's an outmoded stereotype to think mothers are more nurturing or protective of the children than fathers. Clinical studies have shown this to be not true.
“Men were free to go off to war-“ 🙃
“Women can’t go to war because they need to look after children”, without saying that women will just lose in 90% of formats of combats in a war, is delusional at best
In my experience,
Watching the women that work in my life..
House work is a stress relief for most the part, cleaning when not needed to the point where they need to have somebody say it’s not necessary.
It really grinds my gears to still hear people talk about how men give up nothing for a family, as if having to work all the time to support those you care about while not being able to actually be with them is "giving up nothing". Most men don't get to pick the job or hours they'd prefer, using a small handful of those at the top as indicative of the rest is insane and always has been.
I just work from home. I am in college full time and do that from home as well. I've never felt like I was choosing a career over my family. My husband works outside the home. I stay home and have a 3 and 5 year old. We do homeschooling with them. I worked 60 hours last week and got alot done. My kids do their school work at my feet.
I've had my job for 6 years. I've been in college for 3 years. I just have the kids do school work when it's convenient. They are used to our daily schedules.
Beautiful.
I am happy working on an as needed basis. I do get satisfaction from working BUT when I want. I don’t want to HAVE to work.
I am happier being provided for by my husband and taking care of my children in their formative years. Children from ages 1-5 require a lot of attention, and I want to be present for it.
34:45 you build wealth WITH your husband. That’s the whole point of a TEAM strategy & effort!!! 🤦🏼♀️ Creating legacy for your FAMILY & future generations.
saying "you know" too much, I couldn't stay focused towards the end. but awesome content.
Also "so"
The future will be a shorter working week. There is no way around it.
Understanding women just makes me hate women. Obviously there are exceptions and i don't speak about every single one but look, i had a relationship and in that relationship i actually ended up ditching my job to support my gf to get a really good job that was paying enough for both of us. I actually carried our relationship on our back and at the very end when we found an opportunity to get really far ahead i took that opportunity and what do you know? After a few months she lost attraction to me and ditched me in the middle of the winter when she knew i had no income whatsoever. After watching this podcast it makes sense but it doesn't sting any less and i don't blame her any less for not being more loyal and for not having more willpower and fighting the worst parts of her nature.
It's completely unfair that women get to "shop" for men in dating apps and have any and all choice and can just pick between whatever features they want while men have to face never-ending rejection and at this point it's complete luck based if you get into a relationship or not. If anything, the least luck-based path for a man is to just make money which means you're not even supposed to focus on women but on playing social game and the game that is life.. and this game is rigged as hell. Corporations, wokeism, garbage and corruption everywhere and yet the best way to be a desirable partner is to jump into this garbage chaos. Incels are a byproduct of society. If you cut your hand do you blame the cut or do you blame yourself for cutting your hand? The cut is just the byproduct of your action but your action is what caused it. Incels are a byproduct of ridiculous standards imposed on men. Male suicide and depression statistics are the way they are because women are ruling society.. 45% of all women being single and childless (another thing i learned from this channel) by 2030 is also a byproduct of society and rather of women getting to rule the way they do.
Why do you think so many men are into Japan? Cus anime portrays Japan like a land with a lot of traditionalism where girls are more feminine and are actually encouraged to approach men through various and different cultural festivals and norms. It isn't just because anime girls come from asia (since anime girls and actual asian girls have little in common), it also has a lot to do with the dream of a "trad wife"
It's obviously not all on women btw. A lot of this has to do with parenting and we live in a parenting crisis. Trash parents that cant teach their girls to look for the right values in a man and to teach girls to control their impulses and their power. With great power comes great responsibility? The person that's strong/powerful has to carry, this is a common knowledge in any team video game that you play. Power has shifted from men onto women but women don't know how to use this power and that's a huge problem and i would say "men pay for it" but it seems like its not only men that are unhappy with relationships but everyone is.
In the past week i've seen so many different podcasts about women, their psychology and hormones and what do you know? They get so many advantages but if they let themselves be controlled by their impulses and their feelings, without actually moderating or controlling those feelings in any way, we get the society we live in today. Being a female in 21th century is truly a blessing and is truly the easiest life anyone could wish for. Sure you have to go through pregnancy and give birth but guess what? Billions of people have done it before you. Sure it has its risks but life has risks in general, other than this one big issue being a woman is much better. Higher life expectancy, higher salary, more opportunities and dating is a walk in the cake. Lmao. Fuck this.
Dont fall for the meek asian anime trope, one will skin you faster in 10secs than 100 western women will take over 10 years.
@@kmc1872 i meant /we/ had an opportunity to get ahead with a job that i pushed her to take and she was eventually accepted and we had to relocate city (obviously she had no money+ we were on my income) but she would make much more money than me with a much easier job so from an /us/ standpoint it made sense for us to move as i could just find a new job afterwards if needed
at the start i was doing everything and towards the end i was supporting her with her fancy job, by my country's standards
@@eddie-ni5ox good point, im not really buying into it but a lot of people are buying into it for the idea alone
@@ipeeontheworld Alot of men think being speared in the eyes isnt too painful, you should let them experience it firsthand to remove all doubt
Thank you Chris, really enjoy these videos and all of these are topics I find interesting 👍😄
My wife punches a time card and we have charge lines for each task she accomplishes throughout the day. At the beginning of each year, I look through house cleaner ads and I give her the average wage. At the end of each month, I charge her rent which includes half of the mortgage + 20% for incidentals. Mind you, this is all tax free income that I bear all of the risk for. She often fails to even pay her share of the bills but i always let her know that I’ll put up with that because of how in love, we are.
When she talks about bad boys, looking at her facial expressions it's clear as day that she has copulated with a lot of them back in the day and is still craving them.
You just love that eh?
Indeed it's very clear.
That’s crazy that she made men going to war and dying for their country sound like a privilege that women would take if they had the chance. Has she heard of a country called Ukraine?
What makes you say that? There's women voluntarily going into the armed forces ever since 1948 when it became legal.
@@stephaniemcdowell1010 how many relative to men? Enough to say that women really are upset they don’t get to go to war? Most men wouldn’t want to if necessity didn’t force the issue.
@@kevincampbell7588 but the OP said that women didn't want to voluntarily go, if they had the chance. Ratios weren't brought up in his comment. There have been thousands of women in the Vietnam war, the Persian Gulf war, etc. I think over 700,000 women who served in post-9/11 is nothing to scoff at. In 1948 women pushed to be a part of the armed service after WWII because women felt like it was their war as well. If women didn't want to go to war voluntarily then why was it written into law because of other women's voices? Not every woman or man wants to. What's there to argue about? 🤷♀️
@@stephaniemcdowell1010 volunteering and being drafted are quite different.
Men in this country are required to register for the Selective Service when they turn 18 in case the draft ever gets reinstated. It should be mandatory that women register alongside men when they are equal.
@@pointblanks that's cool and very interesting, however I repeat, the original post said women wouldn't voluntarily join if they had a chance. No where did it mention being drafted for US women and men. If you'd like to lump in other countries, Israel requires both men and women to serve at least 2 years in the military unless pregnant or have specific religious beliefs.
A bill is trying to pass now to change whether women are required to register. The current law prevents women from requiring it so the equal rights bit you mentioned is nice but kinda prevents that from happening.
Also regarding being drafted, it's used as more of a formality now. You'd think it would be used more and more since the US has been involved in numerous wars since Vietnam, when it was executed.
Does anyone have any videos on the last topics that he spoke about the effects of learning more evolutionary psychology and redpill such as seeing people as people and for me personally facing difficulty in watching movies or any series cz you can see right through the female nature openly which is honestly quite hard to watch knowing how they work.
Let me know if there is more research done on this
Evo psych is alot of conjecture and falls in the middle and thats generous between hard and soft science, this isnt physics or chemistry where its right or wrong, no subjectivity.
I'm sorry but the constant "you know", "so" made this difficult to listen and understand. :(
Not saying I would not do the same...(that's audience privlage I guess)
But...
Please provide some feedback regarding the repetitive "you know" fillers
After I discovered it... it became one of those annoying things that I could not "unhear" ...you know?
I'm 7 min in and you just ruined the rest of the video for me hahaha
@@TokenTupperware hahaha sorry 😞
😄
Be careful comparing incels to femcels; they're not the same thing. Incels are guys who want to have sex but can't because they're undesirable in some way. Femcels can usually find a man to have sex with because men are more likely to be willing to couple with a woman below himself to have an urge met. Femcels are actually women who are unable to secure a man for a long-term relationship. Usually because they're difficult, have dark triad traits, etc. They are not good options for a long-lasting, stable, and happy relationship.
In a previous ep they talked about this & an interesting perspective came up.
Might be an obvious statement that cross-sex mind reading is very off. It comes back to us not being the same & our perspective are vastly different.
The argument was something like: men underestimate how biologically disgusted women feel about having sex with someone they're not into. So having "something" is not a net-positive but rather a big negative for women. Where as men's perspective on having sex is almost always a net-positive. ( Even with post-nut clarity. )
@Fenwick Haha, I'm going to assume you're addressing the original comment.
Although, I'd point out that the passive aggressiveness of your comment is detracting from your arguments quite a bit.
I'd also like to discuss that I so often encounter women dismissing men's suffering. You'd have to be willfully blind to not see how men are talked about the last decade.
Where is even an ounce of compassion for incels who, like Quasimodo are a sad bunch of brothers. They really need some responsibility & Jordan Peterson in their lives. I thought the last ep about these guys was great. Can highly recommend it. :]
@@VertexCarver
Wow your last paragraph, from your first response, is right on.
Finally someone comprehends this.