Tom! Love your content. I'm always just checking in on your videos and think... "I used to work with him" (what an honor that was, even before all your successes). Love how you've taken your success and using your wealth to make the world a better place. Thank you!
I'm really disappointed with you @TomBilyeu I'm not sure when you took such a weird direction in your content.But it's just not the positive vibe that you gave when I first ran across you. I wish you the best of luck, but I'm out.
US Government, US Business no longer attracts top caliber men. Sicne 1970s ruling class of the American caste system are the Ashkenazi Jewish class people, from Bill Gates to Elon Musk to Mark Zuckerberg to Larry Ellison and so on these are the money richest people on paper. Elon has three kids with the musician girlfriend Grimes, twins with tech executive Shivon Zilis and five children, a set of twins and triplets, with his ex-wife, Justine Wilson. The White Anglo Saxon Protestants #Christian class have been dethroned. This is #capitalism.
I haven’t watched Tom or this channel in a while. It’s incredible how he’s only gotten better at interviewing, breaking down complex and nuanced subjects, and all with incredible reasoning. Forget why I loved this channel in the first place.
The entire passage where she speaks about the need of a private life being congruent to a public like really hits the nail. That’s a mantra for happiness, right here. Thank you for that 🙏
"The toxicity comes from the inability to walk away." I believe this is so true... for both men and women. I think Sadia is at the heart of something deep in all relationships.
@AugustoAlmeida-ll4pz While I don't disagree with you, I think your abuser stance is one-sided. My comment was intended to be broad. For example, a healthy relationship can become toxic, not from abuse, but from an overdependence. What makes it toxic is the failure to maintain personal boundaries and individual growth. Toxicity isn't limited to abusive behavior; it can also stem from unhealthy dynamics that stifle both parties.
@@tooljack4439 it's not just abuse. Things likely became very toxic before it got to the point of abuse, and the inability to walk away at the point of toxicity creates a more toxic envirment that leads to abuse.
Tate says the exact same things. In the modern West, walking away is the only true leverage any man ultimately has. And when you say you will after she is disrespectful, you must follow through.
That's really true. Unfortunately nobody taught us anywhere, and we found out through heartbreaks and failures. But at this point, it seems it's becoming difficult to have a heartbreak in the first place
This is one of the greatest discussions on this topic I’ve heard in a long time. And I agree with it all. Who cares if somebody hates you as a result of it… this needs to get out in the open. And even as good as it is, it is probably the tip of the iceberg. Keep it going and I’d love to join your cause- this needs to get out into the masses. It’s too important. 😊
Peace over pleasure only goes to people who understand true gratitude gracefully so if you can find a partner who can be vulnerable, loyal and strong at the same time then and their character aligns with you long term and you can have fun together then, you’ve hit gold!.
I am obsessed with this woman. I love how once she learned more. She changed her opinion. And she apologized about it!! WOW!! She is the queen of Prospective!!!
@fillupbanks7885: Uh, duh. The ONLY way anyone can POSSIBLY ever LEARN anything is to: 1. Be open minded (cuz otherwise you already know it all)... (as in, a new, different explanation of something); 2. After you've heard something new, to be able to incorporate it into your "worldview" or working knowledge. So, essentially... Learning: That's the definition of changing your perspective. 😮
I can't speak for all men, but I've never been attracted to promiscuous women, and I don't think I'm the only one. It's a turn-off, even for a casual encounter, so a long-term relationship is definitely out of the question.
@@leeanne1457Culturally to whom? Which culture? American culture? Western countries collective cultures? I agree that there is truth to what you're saying but I don't think it is the entire world because not everyones behavior in the world reflects that. I think that was an error in the video. There were generalizations about "men" and "women" as if everyone behaves a certain way when there should have been a mention of which people they are discussing specifically.
@@leeanne1457 The Majority of men WOULD be in a long term relationship with a woman IF a woman did not end the relationship. This is a statistical fact.
Love Sadia, she is so fun to watch. She speaks candidly and from experience. Aware of her own limitations and bias. Agree with her more than disagree. 👹
I’m not so sure… she seems quite awkward and uncomfortable. This may come from a couple of things but she isn’t relaxed in a conversation, and that is part due to the fact that she has 0 facial expressions (work done & Botox) speaks REALLY FAST (somewhat erratic) and also wants to give a response even though the interviewer has either moved on or hasn’t finished the question.
Love her. She may not say what many want to hear, but she's pretty accurate for the kind of relationship most of us are going for but often make excuses and lower standards when we can't find it.
I think she says some truths but the more I listen to her podcast appearances it’s very odd because she also seems to have a surface level knowledge. It’s a like she has a ton of surface level knowledge but not a ton of deeper understanding
Yeah I never thought about it like this. After listening to her, I gotta agree that us men share a lot of the blame for the falling standards in women we complain about. It's the behaviour we men reward in women. Right from a younger age, most of us get attracted to the more shallow, hotter and promiscuous type of girls instead of girls who are more traditional and maybe have more substance.
its absolutely terrifying to know that marriage and kids will lead to a significantly decreased sex life. I would love to have kids some day ... but this makes me think twice.
That isn't the case for all.. especially if this points are brought in conversation as to how to stay connected. It's up to the couple to not become lazy with or without kids. Perspective is everything.
I believe it's mostly during the breast feeding phase (hormones), but afterwards I think it may be because of exhaustion. I think that if people manage to survive the baby stage and then put in the work to create chemistry, like before children, the sex life can be satisfying. But there just won't be as much time and energy to work on it, as if you don't have kids, so that's indeed something to think about.
I have two children and never stopped having sex. Always had more sex drive than my partners. To te last day of pregnancies we had it 2-3 times a day and no interruptions after that. Why should we? If your house is big enough it's fine. You not being a provide male - THAT'S WHAT KILLS HER PASSION FOR YOU! NOT CHILDREN!!
I have watched her a couple of times now and I have to say that nothing she says makes any sense to me. What I see is not men with unrealistic expectations so much as I see decent, kind, attractive men getting rejected by entitled women. To me, that's as much the reality as gravity.
Only men criticize her, that’s the proof that she is right in most of her viewpoints, classic men and their ego can’t accept anything real coming from a women. 🙄
I agree that a lot of what she says only makes sense if you have a surface level knowledge on the topic (Whig is confusing since she’s propped up as an authority on this subject) however I also believe what you’re saying is short sighted as well. Being decent and kind doesn’t attract women, being attractive helps attract women but confidence, purpose, responsibility, etc. are what really attracts women. It’s not to say that a woman doesn’t desire decent kind guys but if that’s all you bring to the table then you’ve failed to understand what attracts women.
online dating and Instagram has ruined women for men. And porn has ruined men for women. I don't know how to fix this problem. All I know is that relationships will never be the same moving forward
@@bhfanaticosiI think people who want to consume porn will always find away, but I think there should be more information provided to the general population about what the medical community has known for a while about how porn literally changes the brain in ways that make it very difficult to enjoy sex. Google “pornography induced erectile dysfunction” to see just the tip of the iceberg.
Facts man especially the porn and undisciplined-weak men has fucked up this world there’s to much gay TikTokers, this is the softest era known to mankind
She’s speaking for god??? Or promoting a narrow perspective of what a group of humans promote by their limited beliefs or limited understanding. Two wives?? Although she has some valid points….She also appears to speak from both sides of her mouth & hypocritical toward living up to her own belief system….???
1:30 secs in, I didn’t know if I would listen to this podcast, but when she said guys assume things bc the guy picked her without her earning it, is spot on! 💯 🎯 ✍️
You are SO RIGHT! My son is blind and clueless? Horrifying to watch. He refuses to believe anything I tell him I see. He puts her on a pedestal and it’s outrageously naive!!!!
Ehhh…I can understand some of her viewpoints however I can tell she is very biased towards her own side and even admitted to sounding very different than her first time on IT. She kinda comes off as not sure or confused about her thoughts and experiences which I can understand to an extent as this subject is complex. Mostly sounds like she talking in circles but is trying to blame men for a lot of problems when it’s more of cultural and societal issues which Tom thankfully teases against what she is saying. And her belief of hypergamy as she stated early in the interview I think is kinda backwards….smh. All in all, this was a great interview.
@@coffeeandflowerz …exactly the point…while she wasn’t a great interview, the interview itself and Tom’s questions and perspectives is what made it a great interview as it parsed out all the BS and showcased the bias while pointing out the actual underlying issues influencing those biases.
@@grunge4ever08I felt a lot of that is that she is jaded by her clients. I saw that at times she was uncomfortable as though there was something else going on with her. (Perhaps anxious or another internal concern bothering her) I can tell her clients have changed her perspective. Yet, her clients are 1% of all men on earth so that in of itself is flawed, because the 1% are not reflections of all mens behaviors. I hope she takes a few regular men for the sake of seeing balance and remembering there is more of a Spectrum of the behaviors men are dealing with as they relate with women and it isn't just wealthy men who seem to have behaviors that are off putting.
@@jacobclayton2954 Point well taken with her being jaded especially the male clients she had gotten were of the upper echelon of all men who are likely able to afford her premium fees as opposed to average men. Often times people with a lot more resources at their disposal have an inflated ego and skewed outlook on life and the opposite sex. Like 1st world problems…it’s seems from their worldview perspective it would be considered “the top 1% problems”….i agree that she should take a few regular men to broaden her perspective and recognize there is a spectrum. In doing this she would be able to be more effective in her efforts to make a positive impact.
@@jacobclayton2954 Her Clients are the wealthy men of Dubai who can afford for $2000 a hr session with her. As Dubai has no social programs for mental health/well being outside of religion the only men going to her in a financially extreme country like that are men with excess wealth and time to spend. She is not having sessions with the guys who live in cages that built that city thats for damn sure. Even when she said $50 hr clients are different than $1200 an hour clients while yes she is right but BOTH of those clients are going to be in the 100k+ club living in dubai and using a psychiatrist at all. you know when the guy who makes 48k a year see's a pyschiatrist? when the hospital offers one for free and bills his Healthcare provider.
I think she's very aware but her blaming men and porn as the primary driver for unrealistic expectations is BACKWARDS. Women have FAR more options then men due to online dating, social media, etc. So the moment they get bored or frustrated, they move on. It's sad she can't see this is the primary driver. In this day and age, to use her example, ugly or fat women all think they can get a top tier man. No guy I know that's average thinks he can get a top tier girl "because of porn".
Its not exactly backwards. I hear you on the last bit but the first bit she explained that there are far more men glorifying sex then woman. There could be 100,000 pornstars but theres hundreds of millions of men who watch them. The ratio is the problem, women are just capitalizing
I think it's often a lack of self discovery towards personal values, how to make sure there is compatibility, good communication skills and willingness to compromise (without dropping ones values). And considering 50% of us walk around with attachment issues, unresolved trauma and more. It's no wonder it doesn't work out. Lack of self love. Can't truly love anyone else fully without loving ourselves first. Oh, and our society breeds narcissistic traits like fruit flies. @@bonnie1097
Sadia ! Thank you for taking a bold stand on the critical importance and significance of having a moral compass reliably based on God. Amen sister 🙏 🙌 ❤️
Such an interesting topic. It's appears that men and women are becoming more and more at odds with their goals and what they value. While I agreed with most things both of you said, the one thing I was very disappointed to see get brushed over was when Sadia continued to fervently ask why men are "obsessed with vagina?" It felt personal and shameful. It is however, just biological preprogramming. They can help it no more than women's obsession with romance and "cuddling". I sure hope she comes back. I feel I have more questions than answers. Tom, I feel like you hinted at some of these inconsistencies but pulled some punches. Great work as always.
I noted a few times where he very gently but directly and indirectly shared that she may want to look inside herself for how she is thinking and take a deeper look at what she is saying. I loved how he focused on connecting with her rather than being right.
Hi Tom, I've been following you since 2016 and i trully adore Lisa! She is so inspiring woman and she help me to remind myself that good, inteligent and nice women still exist in this world. She was an example of female quailities I was looking for in a potential wife. Thank you both! BTW: you should reactivate relationship theory
What men need to be/ have :- self control, leadership, virtuous, god loving, valuing commitment, high self esteem, financially well of, fit, tough mind(able to do right thing is situation favouring the wrong choice), fit, goal Oriented, delayed gratification. Not impulsive or in control of impulses. Have values & principles in place to make the right choices, have a 3rd person perspective, self respect, have the ability to walk away. FOR WOMEN( what a man who is having all the above traits wants from his partner : Ambitious, strong values and principles, only available to her partner, no male friends, god loving, understanding, accountable, less body count((no one wants to deal with a woman with trauma - due to her past) - I believe it's same for men as well, hence I belive men should only have sex with women who they consider to marry only period. Understand :- commitment, how the game works, both of them are a unit ( us against the world not each other). Understanding kids, is empathetic. To be very honest : both need to keep in mind :- what would happen if someone did this to me. Become oneself better for his/her partner that's the gift, grow together. Both need to have urges in control : stop giving these foolish dumb excuses to yourself that this is how men are designed or women are designed: u need to be responsible and make yourself to become better. Both should be brutally honest with each other. Both need to understand envy in this world and learn how to stay unaffected. Both need to firstly keep oneself in check then their partner asap anything slips. It's both. I say it again :- STOP giving excuses, stop being on the leash of your impulses, emotions : it means you are weak and there is no difference between you and an animal. Cultivate your ability to do the right thing. Be a person whom you would want to be with.... Don't say she did what he did, men are like this women are like this don't let anyone's betrayal, indeed, poor decision making, lack of intellect affect you as a person. Stick up to your moral, standards grow into it always stick by it irrespective of what others do, be a righteous partner, person, husband, wife. Date to marry. Date for intimacy, choose wisely, love is the answer. Question your beliefs, make them better. Keep yourself open to other people's opinions and understand what he/she wants to achieve or gain is there any agenda is the reason right, wrong act accordingly. Become the change you want to see in this world.
Her comment about capitalism is wrong. She is describing corruption, not capitalism. Corruption in any system will cause problems like the ones she stated.
You are right, but You forget, that capitalism is the corruption in democracy. It is capitalism that influences our choices in democratic votes, choices in romantic Partner and choices of the goods You buy.
Cause she’s only telling the truth when she’s taking the man’s side, right? Notice how she’s holding both genders accountable. And you can’t stand that.
“Science” can be very subjective and bias as well. How many things were “proven” by science only later to be disproven by “science”. Science for a lot of things is a asking 1k a serious of questions and all of a sudden its congruent across its entirety. Look the plandemic and science proving “misinformation” only later that it wasnt misinformation…. Get a couple “experts” in a field agreeing on a subject and thats the truth all of a sudden…. “Insults” are often seen that way because they true and people cant admit it….. Like calling someone overweight that is……. Is an insult???? Thats truth homie
Her knowledge base seems to be sourced from warped online attention seeking dynamics of both men and women, not actual interpersonal dynamics. The conclusions she draws are really bizarre as a result, for example: “Low self esteem men don’t really care if they are wanted by a woman.” I would argue it’s their number one desire. It seems like she is basing her conclusions on the army of simps showering attention and resources in purely one way interactions and concluding that’s the final state these guys are really hoping for, that they don’t care if she wants them back. Instead of a desperate, ineffective, short sighted and dumb approach to try to get a woman to want them. She’s backwards on many conclusions.
She doesnt get that the attention these low self esteemd dudes buy with tools like OF are the only way they can get love. The underlying reality is that she doesn’t accept is that millions of men like that are not preselected as potential partners. Since they are human they have a natural desire for love too and I think as they get dtarved of it by women’s expectations (which doesnt consider average men as date worthy let alone lower status males) it as if they patching their wounds by spending money for love
My advice is listen to your better judgement, especially when it comes to women. But, understand that there is an obstacle in the way. If the needs of the "boys" are unmet, the "boys" will conspire against a man's better judgement. It is difficult for a man to listen to his better judgement over the incessant chatter of his disgruntled "boys". They turn into great lawyers on the side of poor judgement. Paying direct for box quiets the incessant chatter of the disgruntled "boys" and helps provide mental clarity. It is easy to not care about rejection or losing a woman that is no good for you, when you know without a doubt that your needs will be met. Just remember to always wrap it up.
Місяць тому
***THIS IS ONE OF THE BEST SHOWS ON THIS BECUASE BOTH HAVE SO MUCH TO SAY WHICH IS RELEVANT HERE, WOW, AMAINH SHOW. XO**
Done @ 1 hr 55, when she said there's no such thing as narcissist's, just people who choose to be abused ? i beg your ??????? pardon .. what ? I had no choice, i was adopted by a pair of alcoholic,, narcissist child abusers. I can assure you they exist. & what you both thought that was funny ? un subbing
Wow! Narcissism is a very real personality disorder, and I’m VERY sorry you grew up that way! I encountered it in a man I luckily never got too serious with (because of the red flags), and wow, what a nightmare I could foresee it would be. I hope you are now surrounded by healthy minded people who love and value you! ❤
@@tc59932 It would be nice if channels would better vet their guests though. She seemed suspicious to me, so I visited her channel yesterday, and just seeing how she responds to comments and throws insults like she’s in high school was shocking and is enough evidence to not take her seriously, and she’s not a real psychologist. :/ Maybe she is controlled opposition. I actually unsubbed due to this show also, because it’s not the first time he introduced me to a guest of this caliber, and I don’t want to be exposed to these types of people anymore. :/
Cheaters cheat because of the pleasure principle which is the natural desire for more pleasure and less pain. The addiction to dopamine serotonin or oxytocin. When a relationship is boring and lacking, people will cheat. We do whatever is pleasurable to do. We are faithful if it feels good to be and unfaithful if it feels good to be. We are constantly bouncing from one end to the other because discipline is not a natural thing but the desire for pleasure is all natural
We cheat because we're animals. The constraints of a relationship is a false abstract connection. We're pretending to be something we're not. Sure you can chose not to cheat but that's individual choice. By nature we're still animals.
@@jeffreycharles5144 I think what your saying is partially correct but not universal. It's more nuanced and balanced in that there are situations where it is purely out of pleasure and other situations where it is out of unmet need. It really depends on each person's particular dynamics.
@@anthony212459Agree completely. Also there are no real conversations about each person's desires initially so that if you're a person who would say, choose not to be with other partners or lovers, you align more with someone who would be a better fit. Also we aren't naturally monogamous despite monogamy being sold as the norm
It’s funny how people take sound bites out of these conversations and try to extract a black or white truth. She doesn’t truly believe that narcissists don’t exist. It’s a statement made as a part of an entire conversation and that conversation is made around two individuals bodies of thought. When you strip away the context from any statement you can make anybody sound bad.
times have changed. men and women have both changed. 1 thing to keep in mind is that we are in an incredible moment where young men are more lost and lacking direction than before so point being is less competition.. assuming you’re wanting to enter the competitive word as a man ;)
I always enjoy and disagree with (frequently) Dr. Khan. First, on the communism versus capitalism debate. Imagine there is one pie, equally divided according to socialist rules. A capitalist bakes two new pies. One of the pies is equally distributed among the holders of the first pie, according to the rules. The capitalist keeps the second pie all to himself. Everybody has twice as much pie as they had before, but the GINI coefficient has gone up - the capitalist has way more pie than the others. Second, Dr. Khan describes a sexual market place (I won't say endorses) that is brutally capitalist. The top 10% of men fcuk 100x as many girls as the "middle class" of men, and the "poor" men of the sexual market place, starve. Should female sexuality be distributed according to Marxist principles?
Sadia is gorgeous but her arguments have taken a turn for the worse in the last year. One great takeaway is "Don't fall in love with her face, but with the way she treats you" ..words to live by.
And i'm sorry , but I think your psychologist is only sharing a certain viewpoint. Because I can tell you right now. I've never gone into a relationship thinking that the man is going to cheat automatically. And I can tell you multiple times that my friend's partners and even my own husband has gone into it, assuming that the female is going to cheat. So I feel like her perspective is only true for about 50% of people.Because I've definitely seen the other 50%.So anytime that any group assumes that the other group is always coming at something from a certain perspective.You're going to miss half of the information and half of the accuracy.
She isn't a psychologist. She has zero medical training. In the USA this would be considered fraud... you're not allowed to impersonate a doctor. I think she holds residency in Dubai so I'm not sure how this applies in her case.
@@CaitlinWoodstock She does have a bachelors in psychology and even a masters degree in education and developmental psychology. You got upset about something she said and now you are trying to discredit her.
newsflash: SHE IS NOT A PSYCHOLOGIST. Psychologist is a protected title across the board, not just those who are in clinical practice. Her Masters is not even in Psychology, it's in Education which means she is not even eligible to do a PhD program in Psychology thus making her ineligible to acquire a license as well. SHE IS MISREPRESENTING HERSELF IN A HUGE WAY. Don't get me wrong, I can see that some of the things she's saying might make sense but please be aware that it's not a clinical judgement but rather just a mere opinion. She can talk all she wants but she needs to be honest about her qualifications and respect those who are legitimately in the practice.
21:00 that statement “men need to have sex to feel loved is false”, what about virgin couples that are together in love for years without sex, then get married (I know a lot of them).
When she said Men are only going for the most beautiful you already knew this is looking at the top 5% of men in the world who some are living in dubai. The Average man finds the AVERAGE woman sexually attractive The Average woman DOES NOT find the average man to be sexually attractive she attributes to all men what the top 5% of men do even basic statements like "these men spend 10k on a OF model" this CANNOT be the average American man... who is making 48k a year the #1 vice in America is Alcohol (its really fast food but w/e) the average man spends $4800 a year on alcohol which is oddly 10% of his yearly income... again the Idea that the average man sends 10k to a OF model is absurd and impossible. The man who spends that much on "porn" is making 150k+ a year and is nowhere near the "average" for men.
@@jasonu3741 💯 I think in the end it will be 20% men and women fighting for the 20% of the opposite sex, everyone else will have sex robots for better or worse.
If she’s treating men who want to get better she can’t have contempt for them otherwise her work won’t be as successful. The men will feel the contempt. This is not rewarding nor feels good. She really should have more gratitude for the men she’s treating because these are the people who actually want to change. They seeked her help out. She only has gratitude when she’s talking to men who are already there like Tom. I really hope she works on this.
I don't know what this woman's qualifications are but she is talking about men and women I know nothing about. I really don't think she knows all that whomever gives her credit for. No thanks for this advice...
She really thinks she knows it all 😂 there are folks that will surprise you in the best way possible. Looking for love in the wrong places is the folks she's talking about.
You are right in that she has no clinical training. I don't understand why she doesn't just say that... lots of coaches have no clinical training... they don't pose as doctors... which is what a clinical psychologist is... someone with a PhD in Clinical psych, has passed their boards, and is licensed.
You’re NOT NEGATIVE! Both genders have opened up and have been honest with you and you’re responding accordingly. Others haven’t gotten so close to the truth on a regular basis. Don’t you Dare apologize for revealing what is hidden to many
Ok so like 2 + hours in… I’m 50 +. Have a stunning angelic wife. I don’t feel like I need to find an outlet because she won’t. Seriously, stop fucking generalizing. There are are real committed men out there who love their women without benefits. Would die for her. Love her to the end. Please please stop generalizing. So so bad for our generation!!!
She completely disqualified her own on viewpoint.. First half of the interview she talked about men and women in general.. Then the second half she admitted she raised her prices and focuses on rich dudes and trophy wives.. So her subjects/data points/view points are not of average people anymore, meaning she is not speaking on behalf of regular people. She needs to clarify that from the get-go, otherwise all this talk is pointless and misleading..
I'll add that the "boring and mundane" of 50 years ago is a lot different than today. The "average" woman 50+ years ago was fit and relatively healthy. That "average" woman today is overweight, unhealthy, and covered with tattoos. And it's as if you have to dial down your expectations even lower than you thought they were. I came across a forum where the tall, wealthy, and average looking men can't even get anything from the bottom of the barrel. And why would they when the bottom of the barrel is getting hundreds of likes or views on dating sites and instagram.
Thought provoking relationship ideas, but distorted view of capitalism and scary acceptance of authoritarianism. Side note, I wish we would distinguish more between ownership and earnings. The wealthiest have that insane valuation because they own something that became very valuable. That isn’t cash or income unless or until they sell. And if they sell, they potentially lose controlling interest in what they likely had a hand in making so valuable.
I watched the whole thing and realized how jealous women(including this lady) are towards men who are dating with a much younger women, this is something that they can never keep up with and that's what they are jealous about, I've always experienced this in my life and regardless, this is my personal experience that when you get older, something unknown to me(whether it's social status or maturity) tends to attract much younger women towards you , It's really out of our control, it only happens time to time!!
I couldn't hang in there until the end, too much subjectivity, shaky arguments and stereotyping. I am starting to think that any serious conversation on this topic needs to take into account that what men and women "want" varies based on many factors, but especially depending on what stage of life they are in. I would like to see studies where the data is stratified by age. Even with this level of analysis, you can't really measure maturity or personal development, so it's still difficult to get a good overall picture. We look for VERY different things in a girlfriend/boyfriend as compared to a wife/husband. People are very capable of doing a 180 when their mindset changes, and they start thinking about settling down. It is extremely difficult to try and generalize with such a dynamic at play. Much more nuance is required if we are ever to get to the bottom of this.
I was enjoying the interview until she said she didn't understand communism, but chose to talk poorly about capitalism. Enjoy your channel, keep up the great work.
I strongly recommend Sadia to read the book Basic Economics by Tomas Sowell. As good as she is on relationships, she knows very little about the economy.
I agree with Sadia on hypergamy. Women will initially fall for a man who's superior to her in a general sense, meaning she's not able to manipulate him on a psychological level. He's "alpha" from an interrelational perspective. However, we should not forget that, according to evolutionary psychology, both men and women have two dating/mating strategies: short term and long term. And a woman who's in it for the short term has some VERY different desires in a man than one who has a long term strategy. Sadia's point rings most true when the woman has a short term strategy (casual sex, having fun, flirting, etc). Though, when the woman is looking for the father of her children, she will be more hypergamous in the traditional sense where he should not only be smarter than her, but also more successful/higher status.
Bro. Sadia literally described communism with the banana and monkey analogy thinking it was about capitalism. Wowza. Stick to men/woman dynamics love. More people died under communism than any other form of govt
I love this woman! While I do disagree with some of her opinions on politics, and some of her other views, her core values are spot on. I have enjoyed your interviews with Sadia. Also, Tom, I like Lisa, but I could see why some others don’t, she has a strong personality, and she seems over the top at times. I think you’re all awesome!💪🏿
The primary logic for most women is based in caution (not exactly fear). The primary logic for most men is based in aggression (not exactly anger). The two navigate this among everything else hopefully reaching a center point or middle ground. Both seeking peace a security with each other. Complimentary forces. Her rewarding bad habit analogy is a chicken or the egg argument. I think it was a great follow up to challenge it with the human tendency to capitalize on convenience and needs.
majority of things she says are just her vision, also influenced by living in Dubai, which is very much different from the rest of the world. Cute girl, few good thoughts, but believe me, if I will talk for 2,5 hours, I will be able to make more sense 🤣🙈 And saying that narcissism doesn’t exist…. That is just like to say: earth is flat. She needs to study phycology. All personality disorders are listed in DSM-6.
And real men do NOT need a community. Honestly. Wtf!! Real men thrive individually. Please please watch some films made by men. Or read some books. Written by men.
WARNING: I will never ask for your contact info in the comments section, that is someone impersonating me!
Tom! Love your content. I'm always just checking in on your videos and think... "I used to work with him" (what an honor that was, even before all your successes). Love how you've taken your success and using your wealth to make the world a better place. Thank you!
I'm really disappointed with you @TomBilyeu
I'm not sure when you took such a weird direction in your content.But it's just not the positive vibe that you gave when I first ran across you.
I wish you the best of luck, but I'm out.
She over values the value men have in his woman’s desire. Genuine desire is fleeting, like love… and oxytocin will force desire.
hahaha
US Government, US Business no longer attracts top caliber men. Sicne 1970s ruling class of the American caste system are the Ashkenazi Jewish class people, from Bill Gates to Elon Musk to Mark Zuckerberg to Larry Ellison and so on these are the money richest people on paper. Elon has three kids with the musician girlfriend Grimes, twins with tech executive Shivon Zilis and five children, a set of twins and triplets, with his ex-wife, Justine Wilson. The White Anglo Saxon Protestants #Christian class have been dethroned. This is #capitalism.
The power of leaving the table when respect is not served, is real
I haven’t watched Tom or this channel in a while. It’s incredible how he’s only gotten better at interviewing, breaking down complex and nuanced subjects, and all with incredible reasoning. Forget why I loved this channel in the first place.
The entire passage where she speaks about the need of a private life being congruent to a public like really hits the nail.
That’s a mantra for happiness, right here.
Thank you for that 🙏
"The toxicity comes from the inability to walk away." I believe this is so true... for both men and women. I think Sadia is at the heart of something deep in all relationships.
Left me speechless when I heard that
@AugustoAlmeida-ll4pz While I don't disagree with you, I think your abuser stance is one-sided. My comment was intended to be broad. For example, a healthy relationship can become toxic, not from abuse, but from an overdependence. What makes it toxic is the failure to maintain personal boundaries and individual growth. Toxicity isn't limited to abusive behavior; it can also stem from unhealthy dynamics that stifle both parties.
@@tooljack4439 it's not just abuse. Things likely became very toxic before it got to the point of abuse, and the inability to walk away at the point of toxicity creates a more toxic envirment that leads to abuse.
Fortunately I had the ability to walked away, and I agree with you!
Tate says the exact same things. In the modern West, walking away is the only true leverage any man ultimately has. And when you say you will after she is disrespectful, you must follow through.
Thank you for having me Tom. Loved this
Why are you afraid to debate Rollo and Michael Sartain if you're convinced in what you say?
I just love u
You did so good. You ruffled feathers and spoke actual truths.
@@julieterrell1973Yoh 😮😮
Enjoy listening to you 😊 People hurt because you're speaking truth.
Having boundaries changed my relationship game.
That's really true. Unfortunately nobody taught us anywhere, and we found out through heartbreaks and failures. But at this point, it seems it's becoming difficult to have a heartbreak in the first place
Women used to play hard to get but now they are hard to want.
This is one of the greatest discussions on this topic I’ve heard in a long time. And I agree with it all. Who cares if somebody hates you as a result of it… this needs to get out in the open. And even as good as it is, it is probably the tip of the iceberg. Keep it going and I’d love to join your cause- this needs to get out into the masses. It’s too important. 😊
Peace over pleasure only goes to people who understand true gratitude gracefully so if you can find a partner who can be vulnerable, loyal and strong at the same time then and their character aligns with you long term and you can have fun together then, you’ve hit gold!.
Confidence comes from competence and the byproduct is self esteem. Nothing artificial implemented will match because it misses authenticity.
I am obsessed with this woman. I love how once she learned more. She changed her opinion. And she apologized about it!! WOW!! She is the queen of Prospective!!!
@fillupbanks7885:
Uh, duh.
The ONLY way anyone can POSSIBLY ever LEARN anything is to:
1. Be open minded (cuz otherwise you already know it all)...
(as in, a new, different explanation of something);
2. After you've heard something new, to be able to incorporate it into your "worldview" or working knowledge.
So, essentially...
Learning:
That's the definition of changing your perspective.
😮
I can't speak for all men, but I've never been attracted to promiscuous women, and I don't think I'm the only one. It's a turn-off, even for a casual encounter, so a long-term relationship is definitely out of the question.
That's great but that doesn't negate the fact that culturally men have moved towards preferrimg promiscuous women.
@@leeanne1457men like women who are promiscuous for THEM.....
That's not a new or hard concept
@@leeanne1457 yes, they forget that, otherwise OF wouldn't exist.
@@leeanne1457Culturally to whom? Which culture? American culture? Western countries collective cultures? I agree that there is truth to what you're saying but I don't think it is the entire world because not everyones behavior in the world reflects that. I think that was an error in the video. There were generalizations about "men" and "women" as if everyone behaves a certain way when there should have been a mention of which people they are discussing specifically.
@@leeanne1457 The Majority of men WOULD be in a long term relationship with a woman IF a woman did not end the relationship.
This is a statistical fact.
Love Sadia, she is so fun to watch. She speaks candidly and from experience. Aware of her own limitations and bias. Agree with her more than disagree. 👹
I’m not so sure… she seems quite awkward and uncomfortable. This may come from a couple of things but she isn’t relaxed in a conversation, and that is part due to the fact that she has 0 facial expressions (work done & Botox) speaks REALLY FAST (somewhat erratic) and also wants to give a response even though the interviewer has either moved on or hasn’t finished the question.
Weak men create hard times. I saved you 3 and half hours.
I see why you said what you said now lol
😂
😂😂😂
Watch Dan Bacon.
I saved you love life.
You're welcome.
Sure but how do you become a strong man? You don't become a strong man by reciting I'm a strong man 12h a day. There has to be more to it.
Love her. She may not say what many want to hear, but she's pretty accurate for the kind of relationship most of us are going for but often make excuses and lower standards when we can't find it.
I think she says some truths but the more I listen to her podcast appearances it’s very odd because she also seems to have a surface level knowledge. It’s a like she has a ton of surface level knowledge but not a ton of deeper understanding
Yeah I never thought about it like this. After listening to her, I gotta agree that us men share a lot of the blame for the falling standards in women we complain about. It's the behaviour we men reward in women. Right from a younger age, most of us get attracted to the more shallow, hotter and promiscuous type of girls instead of girls who are more traditional and maybe have more substance.
True
I am pretty and take care of myself and I have substance as well.
@@helloiamthechosenone Sad for me we didn't meet sooner :(
I think it’s surface level true but when you dive deeper I believe it’s completely falsifiable.
@@helloiamthechosenonehi ❤️👋
its absolutely terrifying to know that marriage and kids will lead to a significantly decreased sex life. I would love to have kids some day ... but this makes me think twice.
Don't do it man, I'm telling you, nothing is more valuable than your piece of mind and more important... your freedom!!!
That isn't the case for all.. especially if this points are brought in conversation as to how to stay connected. It's up to the couple to not become lazy with or without kids. Perspective is everything.
I believe it's mostly during the breast feeding phase (hormones), but afterwards I think it may be because of exhaustion. I think that if people manage to survive the baby stage and then put in the work to create chemistry, like before children, the sex life can be satisfying. But there just won't be as much time and energy to work on it, as if you don't have kids, so that's indeed something to think about.
I have two children and never stopped having sex. Always had more sex drive than my partners. To te last day of pregnancies we had it 2-3 times a day and no interruptions after that. Why should we? If your house is big enough it's fine. You not being a provide male - THAT'S WHAT KILLS HER PASSION FOR YOU! NOT CHILDREN!!
Great idea sharing and pushback, both are great back and forth. Great debating with respect!
This auto played, but as i started to listen I became hooked. What an incredible conversation.
I have watched her a couple of times now and I have to say that nothing she says makes any sense to me. What I see is not men with unrealistic expectations so much as I see decent, kind, attractive men getting rejected by entitled women. To me, that's as much the reality as gravity.
Good point man
Only men criticize her, that’s the proof that she is right in most of her viewpoints, classic men and their ego can’t accept anything real coming from a women. 🙄
Doubt it!
I agree that a lot of what she says only makes sense if you have a surface level knowledge on the topic (Whig is confusing since she’s propped up as an authority on this subject) however I also believe what you’re saying is short sighted as well.
Being decent and kind doesn’t attract women, being attractive helps attract women but confidence, purpose, responsibility, etc. are what really attracts women. It’s not to say that a woman doesn’t desire decent kind guys but if that’s all you bring to the table then you’ve failed to understand what attracts women.
@@TheVeillin I don’t disagree. In fact, that’s part of what I’m saying.
online dating and Instagram has ruined women for men. And porn has ruined men for women. I don't know how to fix this problem. All I know is that relationships will never be the same moving forward
I love this comment! Thank you for talking about both sides of the equation.
Make porn illegal?
@@bhfanaticosiI think people who want to consume porn will always find away, but I think there should be more information provided to the general population about what the medical community has known for a while about how porn literally changes the brain in ways that make it very difficult to enjoy sex. Google “pornography induced erectile dysfunction” to see just the tip of the iceberg.
Very accurate and I personally think that the only remedy to this situation is to detoxify society and go back to how things worked 100 years ago
Facts man especially the porn and undisciplined-weak men has fucked up this world there’s to much gay TikTokers, this is the softest era known to mankind
Tom, PUSHING BACK in an interview it's a great idea! Debate nicely. It's so much better then any podcast where nobody gets challanged
Yes, noticed this also! Let’s her finish a thought then brings it up later for civilized conversation. People in politics need to take notes 😂
She’s speaking for god??? Or promoting a narrow perspective of what a group of humans promote by their limited beliefs or limited understanding.
Two wives?? Although she has some valid points….She also appears to speak from both sides of her mouth & hypocritical toward living up to her own belief system….???
1:30 secs in,
I didn’t know if I would listen to this podcast, but when she said guys assume things bc the guy picked her without her earning it, is spot on! 💯 🎯 ✍️
Thank-you for arguing your points so well Sadia
LOVED THIS
I love sadia, she is a force of good. Great example of what good women look like (ideals, values, etc) for those that haven't grown up around them.
I spent 3 hours plus listening to this conversation because it was very interesting and informative.
The debate was great too!
Same here
You are SO RIGHT! My son is blind and clueless? Horrifying to watch. He refuses to believe anything I tell him I see. He puts her on a pedestal and it’s outrageously naive!!!!
Can you show him through example? Like do you have examples you can share with him that might help him? Any men in your sphere who can educate him? 🙂
She was so much smarter than him while being polite
He was trying to act like he knows shit , but she just laughed and let him think he was smart
Ehhh…I can understand some of her viewpoints however I can tell she is very biased towards her own side and even admitted to sounding very different than her first time on IT. She kinda comes off as not sure or confused about her thoughts and experiences which I can understand to an extent as this subject is complex. Mostly sounds like she talking in circles but is trying to blame men for a lot of problems when it’s more of cultural and societal issues which Tom thankfully teases against what she is saying. And her belief of hypergamy as she stated early in the interview I think is kinda backwards….smh. All in all, this was a great interview.
you literally just gave several reasons why she wasnt (a great interview)
@@coffeeandflowerz …exactly the point…while she wasn’t a great interview, the interview itself and Tom’s questions and perspectives is what made it a great interview as it parsed out all the BS and showcased the bias while pointing out the actual underlying issues influencing those biases.
@@grunge4ever08I felt a lot of that is that she is jaded by her clients. I saw that at times she was uncomfortable as though there was something else going on with her. (Perhaps anxious or another internal concern bothering her) I can tell her clients have changed her perspective. Yet, her clients are 1% of all men on earth so that in of itself is flawed, because the 1% are not reflections of all mens behaviors. I hope she takes a few regular men for the sake of seeing balance and remembering there is more of a Spectrum of the behaviors men are dealing with as they relate with women and it isn't just wealthy men who seem to have behaviors that are off putting.
@@jacobclayton2954 Point well taken with her being jaded especially the male clients she had gotten were of the upper echelon of all men who are likely able to afford her premium fees as opposed to average men. Often times people with a lot more resources at their disposal have an inflated ego and skewed outlook on life and the opposite sex. Like 1st world problems…it’s seems from their worldview perspective it would be considered “the top 1% problems”….i agree that she should take a few regular men to broaden her perspective and recognize there is a spectrum. In doing this she would be able to be more effective in her efforts to make a positive impact.
@@jacobclayton2954 Her Clients are the wealthy men of Dubai who can afford for $2000 a hr session with her. As Dubai has no social programs for mental health/well being outside of religion the only men going to her in a financially extreme country like that are men with excess wealth and time to spend.
She is not having sessions with the guys who live in cages that built that city thats for damn sure.
Even when she said $50 hr clients are different than $1200 an hour clients while yes she is right but BOTH of those clients are going to be in the 100k+ club living in dubai and using a psychiatrist at all.
you know when the guy who makes 48k a year see's a pyschiatrist? when the hospital offers one for free and bills his Healthcare provider.
I think she's very aware but her blaming men and porn as the primary driver for unrealistic expectations is BACKWARDS. Women have FAR more options then men due to online dating, social media, etc. So the moment they get bored or frustrated, they move on. It's sad she can't see this is the primary driver. In this day and age, to use her example, ugly or fat women all think they can get a top tier man. No guy I know that's average thinks he can get a top tier girl "because of porn".
Islam is right about women. Its men's fault for being weak and allowing a matriarchical society flourish in the west to begin with.
Its not exactly backwards. I hear you on the last bit but the first bit she explained that there are far more men glorifying sex then woman. There could be 100,000 pornstars but theres hundreds of millions of men who watch them. The ratio is the problem, women are just capitalizing
Absolutely Correct Jarenb…
Women hold ALL of the cards in most relationships and manipulate men because they can.
Choose quality. That takes time that most people aren't willing to invest in.
I think it's often a lack of self discovery towards personal values, how to make sure there is compatibility, good communication skills and willingness to compromise (without dropping ones values). And considering 50% of us walk around with attachment issues, unresolved trauma and more. It's no wonder it doesn't work out. Lack of self love. Can't truly love anyone else fully without loving ourselves first.
Oh, and our society breeds narcissistic traits like fruit flies. @@bonnie1097
Sadia ! Thank you for taking a bold stand on the critical importance and significance of having a moral compass reliably based on God. Amen sister 🙏 🙌 ❤️
Such an interesting topic. It's appears that men and women are becoming more and more at odds with their goals and what they value. While I agreed with most things both of you said, the one thing I was very disappointed to see get brushed over was when Sadia continued to fervently ask why men are "obsessed with vagina?" It felt personal and shameful. It is however, just biological preprogramming. They can help it no more than women's obsession with romance and "cuddling". I sure hope she comes back. I feel I have more questions than answers. Tom, I feel like you hinted at some of these inconsistencies but pulled some punches. Great work as always.
I noted a few times where he very gently but directly and indirectly shared that she may want to look inside herself for how she is thinking and take a deeper look at what she is saying. I loved how he focused on connecting with her rather than being right.
Hi Tom, I've been following you since 2016 and i trully adore Lisa! She is so inspiring woman and she help me to remind myself that good, inteligent and nice women still exist in this world. She was an example of female quailities I was looking for in a potential wife. Thank you both!
BTW: you should reactivate relationship theory
What men need to be/ have :- self control, leadership, virtuous, god loving, valuing commitment, high self esteem, financially well of, fit, tough mind(able to do right thing is situation favouring the wrong choice), fit, goal Oriented, delayed gratification. Not impulsive or in control of impulses. Have values & principles in place to make the right choices, have a 3rd person perspective, self respect, have the ability to walk away. FOR WOMEN( what a man who is having all the above traits wants from his partner : Ambitious, strong values and principles, only available to her partner, no male friends, god loving, understanding, accountable, less body count((no one wants to deal with a woman with trauma - due to her past) - I believe it's same for men as well, hence I belive men should only have sex with women who they consider to marry only period. Understand :- commitment, how the game works, both of them are a unit ( us against the world not each other). Understanding kids, is empathetic. To be very honest : both need to keep in mind :- what would happen if someone did this to me. Become oneself better for his/her partner that's the gift, grow together. Both need to have urges in control : stop giving these foolish dumb excuses to yourself that this is how men are designed or women are designed: u need to be responsible and make yourself to become better. Both should be brutally honest with each other. Both need to understand envy in this world and learn how to stay unaffected. Both need to firstly keep oneself in check then their partner asap anything slips. It's both. I say it again :- STOP giving excuses, stop being on the leash of your impulses, emotions : it means you are weak and there is no difference between you and an animal. Cultivate your ability to do the right thing. Be a person whom you would want to be with.... Don't say she did what he did, men are like this women are like this don't let anyone's betrayal, indeed, poor decision making, lack of intellect affect you as a person. Stick up to your moral, standards grow into it always stick by it irrespective of what others do, be a righteous partner, person, husband, wife. Date to marry. Date for intimacy, choose wisely, love is the answer. Question your beliefs, make them better. Keep yourself open to other people's opinions and understand what he/she wants to achieve or gain is there any agenda is the reason right, wrong act accordingly. Become the change you want to see in this world.
Thoughtful, wise advice. TY🙏
god loving? no thanks, i want my partner to be grounded in reality. it's really important.
@@phoenixfire8226so X out the spirit.. got it.
Her comment about capitalism is wrong. She is describing corruption, not capitalism. Corruption in any system will cause problems like the ones she stated.
You are right, but You forget, that capitalism is the corruption in democracy.
It is capitalism that influences our choices in democratic votes, choices in romantic Partner and choices of the goods You buy.
She seems to be narcissistic herself 😁
Oh she totally is narcissistic and delusional, and will not let her gender take any accountability for the mess dating is.
Exactly
Why because she is spectacularly beautiful and intelligent and articulate at the same time? Perhaps you are intimidated
@@boutiquelove5391 With all that make-up and potential surgery?
@@Asrajzz64 sounds like cope bro. she's beautiful right down to the bone structure.
She mix bs with truth so elegantly
No counter points. Just huffing and puffing away in a dark room in your home in a forested, inbred area of Arkansas. Lol
Cause she’s only telling the truth when she’s taking the man’s side, right?
Notice how she’s holding both genders accountable. And you can’t stand that.
@@us5freaak nah she just attributes the behaviours and actions of the top 5% of men to ALL men
stop watching her if you're gonna be so useless in your criticism
@@jasonu3741 Is that not what we do for women as well?
People are triggered that’s how you know she is telling some truth
LOL
She has many haters 😂
I made a comment on one of her videos and got crushed by low confidence guys
“Science” can be very subjective and bias as well. How many things were “proven” by science only later to be disproven by “science”. Science for a lot of things is a asking 1k a serious of questions and all of a sudden its congruent across its entirety. Look the plandemic and science proving “misinformation” only later that it wasnt misinformation…. Get a couple “experts” in a field agreeing on a subject and thats the truth all of a sudden…. “Insults” are often seen that way because they true and people cant admit it….. Like calling someone overweight that is……. Is an insult???? Thats truth homie
People say "triggered" because they foolishly think it makes them look intelligent.
@@Madagascar2024Yet, Chad still wants nothing to do with you.
A really great conversation here.
This is like taking advice on how to hunt from a deer. 😆
👌🏻
Only men criticize her, classic!
Her knowledge base seems to be sourced from warped online attention seeking dynamics of both men and women, not actual interpersonal dynamics. The conclusions she draws are really bizarre as a result, for example:
“Low self esteem men don’t really care if they are wanted by a woman.”
I would argue it’s their number one desire.
It seems like she is basing her conclusions on the army of simps showering attention and resources in purely one way interactions and concluding that’s the final state these guys are really hoping for, that they don’t care if she wants them back. Instead of a desperate, ineffective, short sighted and dumb approach to try to get a woman to want them.
She’s backwards on many conclusions.
She doesnt get that the attention these low self esteemd dudes buy with tools like OF are the only way they can get love. The underlying reality is that she doesn’t accept is that millions of men like that are not preselected as potential partners. Since they are human they have a natural desire for love too and I think as they get dtarved of it by women’s expectations (which doesnt consider average men as date worthy let alone lower status males) it as if they patching their wounds by spending money for love
I was kinda coming down on Saudi a few times but man…. I get her side too. Guys, this was a great interview! Ty
My advice is listen to your better judgement, especially when it comes to women. But, understand that there is an obstacle in the way. If the needs of the "boys" are unmet, the "boys" will conspire against a man's better judgement. It is difficult for a man to listen to his better judgement over the incessant chatter of his disgruntled "boys". They turn into great lawyers on the side of poor judgement. Paying direct for box quiets the incessant chatter of the disgruntled "boys" and helps provide mental clarity. It is easy to not care about rejection or losing a woman that is no good for you, when you know without a doubt that your needs will be met. Just remember to always wrap it up.
***THIS IS ONE OF THE BEST SHOWS ON THIS BECUASE BOTH HAVE SO MUCH TO SAY WHICH IS RELEVANT HERE, WOW, AMAINH SHOW. XO**
Is this the bottom Tom?
A interesting conversation. I’ll listen too this again.
Watching from Zimbabwe
do they youtube there
Yes absolutely. Where you from?@Marc-hn4eg
@KingMinos316 haha I think you have a lot of travelling to do .
@KingMinos316 wth is a rhodesian desktop????????????
Not at all the Version of Zimbabwe you have has since been buried a long time ago.@@marcusdelictus
Done @ 1 hr 55, when she said there's no such thing as narcissist's, just people who choose to be abused ? i beg your ??????? pardon .. what ? I had no choice, i was adopted by a pair of alcoholic,, narcissist child abusers. I can assure you they exist. & what you both thought that was funny ? un subbing
Wow! Narcissism is a very real personality disorder, and I’m VERY sorry you grew up that way! I encountered it in a man I luckily never got too serious with (because of the red flags), and wow, what a nightmare I could foresee it would be. I hope you are now surrounded by healthy minded people who love and value you! ❤
Unsubscribe from the guests channels, not the hosts channel here lol.
@@tc59932
It would be nice if channels would better vet their guests though. She seemed suspicious to me, so I visited her channel yesterday, and just seeing how she responds to comments and throws insults like she’s in high school was shocking and is enough evidence to not take her seriously, and she’s not a real psychologist. :/ Maybe she is controlled opposition. I actually unsubbed due to this show also, because it’s not the first time he introduced me to a guest of this caliber, and I don’t want to be exposed to these types of people anymore. :/
Some clouds have a silver lining.
Cheaters cheat because they lack integrity and are lead by their Feelings not their conviction to be a honorable honest person. SELFISH
Wrong, cheaters cheat because they want to stay in their relationships despite being treated like a step child.
Cheaters cheat because of the pleasure principle which is the natural desire for more pleasure and less pain. The addiction to dopamine serotonin or oxytocin. When a relationship is boring and lacking, people will cheat. We do whatever is pleasurable to do. We are faithful if it feels good to be and unfaithful if it feels good to be. We are constantly bouncing from one end to the other because discipline is not a natural thing but the desire for pleasure is all natural
We cheat because we're animals. The constraints of a relationship is a false abstract connection. We're pretending to be something we're not. Sure you can chose not to cheat but that's individual choice. By nature we're still animals.
@@jeffreycharles5144 I think what your saying is partially correct but not universal. It's more nuanced and balanced in that there are situations where it is purely out of pleasure and other situations where it is out of unmet need. It really depends on each person's particular dynamics.
@@anthony212459Agree completely. Also there are no real conversations about each person's desires initially so that if you're a person who would say, choose not to be with other partners or lovers, you align more with someone who would be a better fit. Also we aren't naturally monogamous despite monogamy being sold as the norm
This Gal knows her stuff!!
She studies thoroughly in evolutionary of human history!!
It’s funny how people take sound bites out of these conversations and try to extract a black or white truth. She doesn’t truly believe that narcissists don’t exist. It’s a statement made as a part of an entire conversation and that conversation is made around two individuals bodies of thought. When you strip away the context from any statement you can make anybody sound bad.
This woman is beyond judgmental. Seeking joy is all we have. Her rigid rules around relationships is what’s wrong with this world.
Best relationship conversation ever!
times have changed. men and women have both changed. 1 thing to keep in mind is that we are in an incredible moment where young men are more lost and lacking direction than before so point being is less competition.. assuming you’re wanting to enter the competitive word as a man ;)
I always enjoy and disagree with (frequently) Dr. Khan. First, on the communism versus capitalism debate. Imagine there is one pie, equally divided according to socialist rules. A capitalist bakes two new pies. One of the pies is equally distributed among the holders of the first pie, according to the rules. The capitalist keeps the second pie all to himself. Everybody has twice as much pie as they had before, but the GINI coefficient has gone up - the capitalist has way more pie than the others. Second, Dr. Khan describes a sexual market place (I won't say endorses) that is brutally capitalist. The top 10% of men fcuk 100x as many girls as the "middle class" of men, and the "poor" men of the sexual market place, starve. Should female sexuality be distributed according to Marxist principles?
I like the way Sadia is engaging. after her response, she ends with a question for the host
You don't ask fish how to catch fish.
You ask an experienced fisherman instead.
You don't ask a fish anything, cause they don't even speak English
Sadia is gorgeous but her arguments have taken a turn for the worse in the last year.
One great takeaway is "Don't fall in love with her face, but with the way she treats you" ..words to live by.
Hi Tom. Pls can we set a call where i can give u an alternative view. This is such a one sided view and I believe there is so much more to this
This girl has no idea what she’s talking anout
I learn so much from this, this is excellent content!
She is the psychologist of Onlyfanz models lol
Pornhub?
@HoneyHoops-ig9ws that's a lie. the right guy is an imaginary unicorn they will never find lol
haha welp.. they need help too? 🤷🏽♂
i love what she says, its all true
@@pllthetrgrrr2825 They accumulate baggage for the bags...who has time
And i'm sorry , but I think your psychologist is only sharing a certain viewpoint.
Because I can tell you right now. I've never gone into a relationship thinking that the man is going to cheat automatically. And I can tell you multiple times that my friend's partners and even my own husband has gone into it, assuming that the female is going to cheat.
So I feel like her perspective is only true for about 50% of people.Because I've definitely seen the other 50%.So anytime that any group assumes that the other group is always coming at something from a certain perspective.You're going to miss half of the information and half of the accuracy.
She isn't a psychologist. She has zero medical training. In the USA this would be considered fraud... you're not allowed to impersonate a doctor. I think she holds residency in Dubai so I'm not sure how this applies in her case.
@@CaitlinWoodstock She does have a bachelors in psychology and even a masters degree in education and developmental psychology. You got upset about something she said and now you are trying to discredit her.
newsflash: SHE IS NOT A PSYCHOLOGIST. Psychologist is a protected title across the board, not just those who are in clinical practice. Her Masters is not even in Psychology, it's in Education which means she is not even eligible to do a PhD program in Psychology thus making her ineligible to acquire a license as well. SHE IS MISREPRESENTING HERSELF IN A HUGE WAY.
Don't get me wrong, I can see that some of the things she's saying might make sense but please be aware that it's not a clinical judgement but rather just a mere opinion. She can talk all she wants but she needs to be honest about her qualifications and respect those who are legitimately in the practice.
She is assuming that both men/women, are judging one another by the same criteria. Not true.
21:00 that statement “men need to have sex to feel loved is false”, what about virgin couples that are together in love for years without sex, then get married (I know a lot of them).
As a man. Sex is a major factor.
@@esporter5721 Marriage first, no fornication.
@@Asrajzz64so what’s your point?
@@esporter5721 Marriage first, no fornication...?🤨
@@Asrajzz64 so? You have to find a woman and get married. As if you’re actually saying anything useful? Mind ones business is also a principle
Dr. Khan can’t hide the contempt she has for the men she treats. It seems living in Dubai has truly jaded her views on men.
I believe that to be accurate.
When she said Men are only going for the most beautiful you already knew this is looking at the top 5% of men in the world who some are living in dubai.
The Average man finds the AVERAGE woman sexually attractive
The Average woman DOES NOT find the average man to be sexually attractive
she attributes to all men what the top 5% of men do
even basic statements like "these men spend 10k on a OF model" this CANNOT be the average American man... who is making 48k a year the #1 vice in America is
Alcohol (its really fast food but w/e) the average man spends $4800 a year on alcohol which is oddly 10% of his yearly income... again the Idea that the average man
sends 10k to a OF model is absurd and impossible. The man who spends that much on "porn" is making 150k+ a year and is nowhere near the "average" for men.
@@jasonu3741 💯 I think in the end it will be 20% men and women fighting for the 20% of the opposite sex, everyone else will have sex robots for better or worse.
If she’s treating men who want to get better she can’t have contempt for them otherwise her work won’t be as successful. The men will feel the contempt. This is not rewarding nor feels good. She really should have more gratitude for the men she’s treating because these are the people who actually want to change. They seeked her help out. She only has gratitude when she’s talking to men who are already there like Tom. I really hope she works on this.
@@aaroncabrera9955these men are betas, just the fact that they go to ask to a w0m@n how to be a man 👨 that tells you everything!
Sadia is the best ❤️
I don't know what this woman's qualifications are but she is talking about men and women I know nothing about. I really don't think she knows all that whomever gives her credit for. No thanks for this advice...
She really thinks she knows it all 😂 there are folks that will surprise you in the best way possible. Looking for love in the wrong places is the folks she's talking about.
She has a fake degree posted on her website so I’m going to assume she doesn’t have any credentials lol
You are right in that she has no clinical training. I don't understand why she doesn't just say that... lots of coaches have no clinical training... they don't pose as doctors... which is what a clinical psychologist is... someone with a PhD in Clinical psych, has passed their boards, and is licensed.
You’re NOT NEGATIVE!
Both genders have opened up and have been honest with you and you’re responding accordingly.
Others haven’t gotten so close to the truth on a regular basis.
Don’t you Dare apologize for revealing what is hidden to many
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 she's giving her biased opinion. 80% wrong , 20% right
You're proving her point
Looks like someone’s taking it personally here 🙄
This is why I live a Stoicism Lifestyle. I manage what I can control & accept what I can't. Living isn't rocket science.
I wonder what's wrong with Tom.
Why?? 😂😂
If you are referring to the guests lately, I get you
Same
Spot on .. evils rests in all of us!
Wow. Tom get better people to interview! This is a caricature of reality, talk about painting life with a huge brush
My take is preserve your seed, you will preserve your relationship.
No, the first 4&1/2 minutes makes no sense.
Ok so like 2 + hours in… I’m 50 +. Have a stunning angelic wife. I don’t feel like I need to find an outlet because she won’t. Seriously, stop fucking generalizing. There are are real committed men out there who love their women without benefits. Would die for her. Love her to the end. Please please stop generalizing. So so bad for our generation!!!
She completely disqualified her own on viewpoint.. First half of the interview she talked about men and women in general.. Then the second half she admitted she raised her prices and focuses on rich dudes and trophy wives.. So her subjects/data points/view points are not of average people anymore, meaning she is not speaking on behalf of regular people. She needs to clarify that from the get-go, otherwise all this talk is pointless and misleading..
I mean, inherently pointless seeing as her viewpoint only applies to around 1% of the audience 🤦♂️
I've always thought she's full of shit. I don't like her.
I'll add that the "boring and mundane" of 50 years ago is a lot different than today. The "average" woman 50+ years ago was fit and relatively healthy. That "average" woman today is overweight, unhealthy, and covered with tattoos. And it's as if you have to dial down your expectations even lower than you thought they were.
I came across a forum where the tall, wealthy, and average looking men can't even get anything from the bottom of the barrel. And why would they when the bottom of the barrel is getting hundreds of likes or views on dating sites and instagram.
Thought provoking relationship ideas, but distorted view of capitalism and scary acceptance of authoritarianism.
Side note, I wish we would distinguish more between ownership and earnings. The wealthiest have that insane valuation because they own something that became very valuable. That isn’t cash or income unless or until they sell. And if they sell, they potentially lose controlling interest in what they likely had a hand in making so valuable.
I watched the whole thing and realized how jealous women(including this lady) are towards men who are dating with a much younger women, this is something that they can never keep up with and that's what they are jealous about, I've always experienced this in my life and regardless, this is my personal experience that when you get older, something unknown to me(whether it's social status or maturity) tends to attract much younger women towards you , It's really out of our control, it only happens time to time!!
I couldn't hang in there until the end, too much subjectivity, shaky arguments and stereotyping. I am starting to think that any serious conversation on this topic needs to take into account that what men and women "want" varies based on many factors, but especially depending on what stage of life they are in.
I would like to see studies where the data is stratified by age. Even with this level of analysis, you can't really measure maturity or personal development, so it's still difficult to get a good overall picture. We look for VERY different things in a girlfriend/boyfriend as compared to a wife/husband. People are very capable of doing a 180 when their mindset changes, and they start thinking about settling down. It is extremely difficult to try and generalize with such a dynamic at play. Much more nuance is required if we are ever to get to the bottom of this.
I agree. Nothing is ever black and white.
I was enjoying the interview until she said she didn't understand communism, but chose to talk poorly about capitalism. Enjoy your channel, keep up the great work.
I strongly recommend Sadia to read the book Basic Economics by Tomas Sowell. As good as she is on relationships, she knows very little about the economy.
I agree with Sadia on hypergamy. Women will initially fall for a man who's superior to her in a general sense, meaning she's not able to manipulate him on a psychological level. He's "alpha" from an interrelational perspective. However, we should not forget that, according to evolutionary psychology, both men and women have two dating/mating strategies: short term and long term. And a woman who's in it for the short term has some VERY different desires in a man than one who has a long term strategy. Sadia's point rings most true when the woman has a short term strategy (casual sex, having fun, flirting, etc). Though, when the woman is looking for the father of her children, she will be more hypergamous in the traditional sense where he should not only be smarter than her, but also more successful/higher status.
Then why are there so many dating dating bad boys who end up single mums. I think we give too much credit to " intuition"
Yeah, we all learned about this on Jerry Springer and Maury Povich. Why are women not required to register for The Draft? Equality Now!
Sadia Khan is fascinating to listen to, Masha Allah
She’s marvelous! And beautiful!!
Bro. Sadia literally described communism with the banana and monkey analogy thinking it was about capitalism. Wowza. Stick to men/woman dynamics love. More people died under communism than any other form of govt
I love this woman! While I do disagree with some of her opinions on politics, and some of her other views, her core values are spot on. I have enjoyed your interviews with Sadia.
Also, Tom, I like Lisa, but I could see why some others don’t, she has a strong personality, and she seems over the top at times. I think you’re all awesome!💪🏿
Excellent interview
The primary logic for most women is based in caution (not exactly fear). The primary logic for most men is based in aggression (not exactly anger). The two navigate this among everything else hopefully reaching a center point or middle ground. Both seeking peace a security with each other. Complimentary forces.
Her rewarding bad habit analogy is a chicken or the egg argument. I think it was a great follow up to challenge it with the human tendency to capitalize on convenience and needs.
She learned a new phrase “in this day and age” and keeps repeating that in every other sentence…
Sadia seems to be much better looking and intelligent than you.... going by your toxicity. Lol
She seems like a narcissist to me.
Yep...sex is easy. Most ppl aren't worth relationships tbh
majority of things she says are just her vision, also influenced by living in Dubai, which is very much different from the rest of the world.
Cute girl, few good thoughts, but believe me, if I will talk for 2,5 hours, I will be able to make more sense 🤣🙈
And saying that narcissism doesn’t exist….
That is just like to say: earth is flat.
She needs to study phycology.
All personality disorders are listed in DSM-6.
And real men do NOT need a community. Honestly. Wtf!! Real men thrive individually. Please please watch some films made by men. Or read some books. Written by men.