00:00 1 YOU HAVE “LITTLE KIDS” FOR 4 YEARS 00:24 2 ENCOURAGE YOUR CHILDREN 01:20 3 CONSEQUENT OVER-PROTECTION 01:54 4 THE NOTION OF “BURDEN” 02:55 5 THE MAIN “JOB” OF A PARENT 04:43 6 LACK OF ROUGH AND TUMBLE PLAY 05:14 7 GENERATIONAL DETRIMENTAL EFFECT 06:21 8 BEWARE OF NAIVE TRUST 07:19: 9 HOW TO WIN AT THE GAME OF LIFE
Having my wife stay home has led to compromises in our standard of living. We drive older cars and don’t yet own our home. Money is often tight. But I honestly cannot imagine waking my children up at 6:00 in the morning to drop them off with strangers that aren’t able to nurture or give them one on one attention. The thought of it breaks my heart.
To play devil's advocate to your comment - you don't need to wake your child up at 6:00 a.m. to go to daycare. Daycare will take them at any stage through the day and there are also vacation daycares that do shorter days - yes they are strangers, but that is just at the beginning and also they are trained on how to look after kids and to Foster relationships with them so they are not just random people on the street - you only have to do a day or two per week, so you can still do the one on one at home - daycare also helps Foster routines in children which we know is super important for their development - this is where and how they learn what socialisation is and this is an important part of what Jordan Peterson was talking about
My mum and dad were excellent parents, I'm trying to bring my children up the same way they brought me and my sisters up. My mum is the most loving mum ever, I used to get jelous as a kid because other kids would go to my mum for comfort if they hurt themselves or just wanted a cuddle. My dad was strict and I'm so grateful, if something came on the tv where a young girl had gone missing or something he would tell me, "This is why I'm strict" and now I have my own children I agree 100%. If I can be half as good as my parents I will be happy.
My niece just had her first baby and I am so glad she decided to stay at home to raise her child. Yes it will involve material sacrifices, but as Dr. Peterson says, she will never be able to get this time back.
The first year, forced to stay at home, was the worst. Yes the first three months were nice. But afterwards I longed for a meaningful task and the connection to other people. Beeing alone with a young child is being alone as two. At one year old my son went to daycare. He's now five and always happy to meet his friends in kindergarden. And mom is happy to earn her own money and provide for the little family. And those who ask, were the father is, go out and search for him and tell me if you found him. Haven't heard from him for five years. And don't ask me why he's not interested in this wonderful child. I have no clue.
I stayed home to raise my children. I am now in my 70's and really do not remember what I gave up to be with them. Our culture is more concerned with "their wants" than they are with raising healthy responsible children. We have pushed education to the point of disfunction....woman are raised to think a career is the most important goal in life. The best job I ever had was raising my kids. You continue to learn your entire life...there is no end to it; however, there is a time frame for bearing and raising children
@@juliag7361the fact that you needed to connect with stranger adults rather than valuing and working on the connection with your own child says a lot in terms of an attachment disorder with your own mother. Sad to hear you are a single mom and the father is not interested in your child, I hope your child can heal the wounds that come with it throughout her life. I hope the best for you 2.
God gives special graces to single Moms who dont have a choice as in your case. So even though its not the ideal, the grace is there for you and your children to take on both roles because youre clearly a loving mother.
@@juliag7361 With all due respect you're the exception. Personally, biologically, scientifically and spiritually, the child needs his mother and most of all the child needs both parents. I know me and my siblings (including my father) were happy, grateful and enjoyed every minute of having mom around when we were kids. Seems like you're trying to undermine what this mother did for her child, comes off as rude and spiteful. I'm sorry for your experience but by the looks of it, it seems as if you wish you had the privilege of experiencing the same thing.
Sir, you have taught me so much over the past few years. It is healing to hear real rational truth. I am a grandmother who adores you. God bless you. Keep that truth coming. ❤
I worked in elementary schools. Don't leave them there. They need the care and love of parenting. And the bonus, parents learn a pure surrender to love
Every single day I testimony parents literally “dropping” the kids from their sliding door as school’s curb, even very earlier than school start time. Then, they left driving while texting soullessly. Unfortunately most kids around are just consequences of a night for some dumb and entitled people.
@@TanyaDavis954 Don't think of it as homeschooling. It's best to still bring them to a formal education center a few times a week/month through co ops or whatever. The reality is that elementary education is 5 days a week 8 hours a day just so that the parents can work. Kids don't need anywhere close to that much time to lean math, reading, and writing.
We are seeing the consequences of this now because the teachers are demanding more & more time off. Parents can no longer rely on institutions to look after them 8 hours a day 5 days a week. They have really lost their purpose. Now teachers in Alberta have almost 3 months off in total. They added another 2 week long breaks and pretty much only a few stretches of 2 weeks solid. In regards to what they are actually teaching in schools, it may be good. But some parents will have a hard time.
There are a lot of people who grew up in domestic violence and abuse and nevertheless as an adult you can choose to heal and break the cycle. So even if you didn’t have the best role models you can still be a good role model for your future kids. Breaking the abuse cycle is the most freeing and inspiring sensation knowing that your kids will never experience that.
Ours are 3 and 7, super fun watching them fight, and a few seconds later they playing. Evening time they sleeping all over each other in the bed, cuddling
Having children help you grow up. Most adults don't truly mature until they have kids, not necessarily true for everyone but generally speaking is true
The first rule hit me hard with my first two. I worked too hard and put too much effort in professionally rather than at home with my little ones. May God forgive me.
I'm 35. I tell younger people that there's nothing better than being a parent. They are troublesome and challenging but there is simply nothing more rewarding than rearing children.
Exactly, my baby is 8 months old and another baby is on the way. She needs siblings, she needs to play and grow up with someone and have a best friend for life. So best is to give her a brother or sister…
We have several of our 9 that are 15-18 months apart. It was physically difficult in the beginning bc they need you for EVERYTHING, but those particular pairs of siblings are very close as they have gotten older.
no, millions of children are left in nurseries and we pretend they are socialising. it’s a convenient lie to make mothers feel better about ditching them there in favour of working in an office.
I would love children but life hasn't been ideal and I'm getting old. I was a parentified child starting at the age of 4. It's hard being a child raising yourself and raising your adult parent and trying to keep the house and bills together and go to school. Lots of my mother's friends would say I was well behaved and an old soul. Every adult around me told me being an adult was harder then being a child. I remember everyone couldn't wait to be older but me. Adults lives are harder and my life was already hard. Not only did I have the parenting experience of raising myself but I raised my mother. Later an old childhood friend from beginning of primary school reflected that I seemed more the adult. Because I was. The plus to this was I was ready to enter the real world graduating not long after my 17th birthday. The idea people in my country should be elevated of their student debt annoys me. At 17 I was doing full time higher eduction and full time in hospitality which hospitality is great for that if your a student particularly the kitchen end of things. I started as a dishy and worked my way to cook. At one point I had it so fine tuned inwas doing double full time study and overtime hours at work with a 2hr daily social life with my friends and I partied on the weekends and showed up for work which work on the week ends was a split shift meaning I didn't have to start super early. During summer holidays 2.5months I worked 2 jobs 18hrs days and 7days a week I was earning 1.5k on a bad week and 2.5k on a good week back in 2008. I paid for all my education as I went. I never had a debt. I did 7yrs 2006 to 2013. I had one kid asking for help in trying to fit a part time job with his fulltime education. So I told him I'd give him the formula to have his cake and eat it too. He responded I'm not a machine. Neither was I. It's just called being efficient and time management it doesnt happen immediately practice. Read the other day someone had a debt of 38k my 3yr bachelor so without distinction cost me 55k and I paid for it as I went. I never had a debt. These people have debt because they wanted the easy way out and are lazy. If you can't afford the education then maybe it's a luxury and you should focus on your paying job and how to increase that pay then go get an education. You're a responsible adult. Jobs give you money. You need money for things. You don't have money for things then you don't get things because you've mismanaged yourself and finances. If they get their debt paid off for them do I get back the money I paid for my education? Why not? It's the same thing except I was more responsible about it. Why should I suffer because I was more responsible. People need to stop coddling adults. Too many adults are still children.
My friend. Sighs gently. Im 40. I got 8 children and a 20 month old. I wish I would have had a childhood like yours tbh. It was a rough upbringing. Don't let anything cheat you out of the fulfillment of watching your children grow. Watching your influence and your name carry on and branch. Its my way of making the world a better place. God bless you and good luck.
I I was raised in fairytale.. apparently.. then life wind took me to materialistic world and still i didn’t know there were evil people in the world.. I woke up in reality of life at age 50 and started learning life over… I was shocked to realize how hurt I had been because no one taught me that life is not just good people
I was raised by my grandparents who are very principled. No lying, and not taking advantage of people. It was really hard for me to accept that it's so easy for other people to lie to me; and because of this I was taken advantage of and betrayed and for decades I was hoping that it would change. But I realized, very few people are honorable, dignified and honest
I never clean up when they were napping I always cleaned up and worked on things when there awake so that they could see me doing that and that it was normal. Life is not a Disney move were problems just magic fix them self’s.
I love this ❤ The most difficult part for me is inviting the witch to the party.... But it makes sense. They need to be prepared. Thanks for all the advice.
If you're not living it they won't care. You have to be these things first. If you're already these things then you can explain why you're doing something in a particular way: for what benefit you're doing something that seems unintuitive. If they're inquisitive then wait for them to ask questions. Interrupting their day for a meeting where you lecture them would be annoying, and they wouldn't listen or care. If you're not living out these things you'll be hypocritical, and they'll lose respect for you AND the ideas themselves.
5:40 I disagree with him that parenting is “in your bones”. Motherhood is learned! I can personally attest to that. I think the better you can “do the job” the more confident and fulfilled you’ll be in that role. Finding role models is true but it doesn’t have to be your own parents…
What you say is true. What he says is also true. It is much more likely that you will be a good parent if you were parented well. It doesn't HAVE to be this way, but it's much more likely. That's why it's so important to be a good parent to your children, because you are setting them up to be great parents for their own children eventually.
very powerful, thank you very much for sharing. I definitely am that overly empathic and caring father mentioned in the video. Any suggestions on how to undo or mitigate the damages to my child's confidence and courage while it is still possible?
@DinosaurForTheWin i think this is not a good advice. I observed it myself in my own and my child's behavior, nobody else told me. The video just expressed what I was already aware of.
Dinosaur for the win, why are you here listening to "a grifter". Why not listen to those who are on the same page as you? Maybe you should go your own way and not listen to Dr. Peterson.
Not sure if you've read Raising Mentally Strong Kids by Dr Daniel Amin. It's an amazing book. The biggest mistake we do as parents is trying to solve everything for our kids and not letting them be uncomfortable and figuring things out themselves.
How do you learn to play with your kids if your parent didn’t or played “wrong” with you as a kid? I struggle with this a lot. My mom didn’t know how to play with us as a kid and my dad only played tickling games in which he would jot stop until you were beyond crying and not begging or pleading would get him to stop. I want to play with my children (3/4/6years currently ), and i sit down to play with them and find I simply cannot begin. I can organize toys, or read books, but beyond that I’m lost. I was called imaginative all my life, but now I’m realizing it’s not actually true.
I remember hearing someone say, “watch your child play for a while, and then join in.” Maybe that idea will help. And read books to them sitting together on the couch. Take them to the playground and push them on the swing. If you’re in a cold climate, go sledding with them in winter - sit on the sled and ride down the hill with them. I hope that helps 😊 I think you know better how to play with them than you think!
Also your children are mobile so you can introduce them to older kids games like hide and seek, tag you’re it etc. but watch them play and then join in.
I think that sometimes we should just follow the lead of our kids..they often like simple things like dressing up barbies, making puzzles or crafts. Even having them help you bake or cook can build fun memories together. Maybe try to observe what they are playing with or what they like and jump and follow their play.. Or ask them what they would like to play..and try not saying 'no" :) I feel your struggle and sometimes feel the same like you. Good Luck!
Playing pretend is so much fun. Let them take the lead and don’t try to manage or control or correct. Do the old improv technique of “yes, and”. The floor is lava. Make a pretend zoo - get their stuffed animals and pick out a “cage” for each one. Let them lead if you’re not sure. Like, the lion stuffy “cage” is his bed. The pillow is his cave, the blanket over there is his pool to swim in. Now the dresser drawer is the aquarium for the whale… etc. Drive around the house in a pretend train (or whatever they’re into. Maybe you’re riding a unicorn) and go on an adventure!
Start by speaking to them and go from there, ask them... What do you want me to play as in this game? What are we making, what do you want me to make? Once you know roughly what they want, go beyond that so they can learn from you 👍
Wow thank you dr Peterson. Im listening to this and my 2 year old yells out Hansel and Gretel!!! And then when he talks about the candy house “oh candy, I want some of my candy” 😂
Let's not forget, how the relationship between the parents and their individual behaviour affects the children. Faking behaviour to your kids teaches them to fake to others... but maybe that's a social strategy nowadays.
My mother always left me on the floor when I was an infant and now I have a flat head. They've always been broke and made terrible decisions in life, including deciding that we didn't need friends. Having children should be illegal for some people.
I don’t want children because my mom was such a child, and now that she’s finally out of my life, I get to be my own person. I might not be quite as mature for my age, but honestly, I feel twice as old, because It feels like my mother and I switched places. Children age you. Parents who never grew up age you too. Jordan Petersen just doesn’t get it. If I’m not mature enough to have children, then I’m fine with that. Because my parents weren’t either.
Sounds like you had a narccistic mother that drained the life out of you, and now that you are finally free you want to enjoy life. one day when you have healed and taken time for yourself you might want children.
Babies and pre-schoolers need their parents the most. Unless absolutely necessary, please do not put your kids in daycare. No matter how great those teachers are, they’re no substitute for mom or dad. Play dates can be arranged, neighbor kids can become friends, cousin time, etc - lots of ways to socialize while avoiding daycare completely!
I disagree a good bit. 5 years ago, before kids, I would have agreed completely. But our oldest had a large speech delay that led us to try daycare for long-form socialization around 3, but I've been blown away by how much both children have learned. And they've been exposed to kids that aren't as kind, giving them some hardiness. There's plenty of time for relationship building in early evening and weekends. I wouldn't have wanted to send them earlier than 2-3, but 0 regrets- it has been a blessing.
@@TheChrysalis83 the daycare system in the US is so overwhelmed, and can be ridiculously expensive. Some parents spend their entire income on daycare costs which just doesn’t make financial sense. I’m glad your child was able to get into a good program and find the help they need. That would qualify as “absolutely necessary” in my opinion (an opinion doesn’t matter at all, you do what’s best for your own kids! 😉) but too many parent stress their budgets and the system unnecessarily - their kids can get the same benefits or better from intentional parenting.
People are not afraid of disciplining but more like lazy to discipline their kids. Then when the kid starts acting up the way they have been raised by the lazy parent, the stupid lazy parent gets upset then blames the child
I do think being a mom is different now. I think it's lonelier. Families are more spread out. Sometimes it's hard to find a cohort of the same age for your kid to play with. With my first kid we were so isolated and I really struggled as a young, inexperienced mom.
Great advice, but if you have 3 kids, that’s a minimum of 15 years, not 4. And 15 years of your working life can be half if you work 30 years. 4 years out of 80 let’s say isn’t much, but 15 out of 30, that’s half. Most people really can’t do that. And I think the most important point that he misses, is some parents don’t want to stay at home. And a stay at home parent that really doesn’t want to be there, that’s not any better and probably worse than daycare.
Each child requires 6 months off work, then part time work until age 3, so really with your 3 kids you "lose"(it is not losing, it is not being physically present) about 5 years total
My son is doomed. At 4,5 years, there's already so much missing from this list, I'm not a good mother, never was, never will be (not saying that to be complimented, it's the bare, sad and shitty truth), no father, no siblings, depressed joyless mother, rejected by so many already, because he likes to be in total control (no surprise there), I don't see hope for him, he will not have a good standing in life.
The number one thing that will define the future for your child is instilling a growth mindset. That change starts with you. You haven’t been a good mother, you aren’t a good mother today. Your child is struggling with interacting within the social construct right now. People learn, grow and change.
Stop speaking these things into your child and yourself! Your words have power. You might not FEEL like you’re a good mother but guess what? You can CHANGE, you can GROW, you CAN be INTENTIONAL about becoming a better mother to your child. Be the mom you never had, be the one person you needed the most to your child.
Most of things Jordan says I agree. But I disagree that having a children makes you a grown man. You just need to look around and see how many assholes have kids. Many people have kids and are selfish narcissists. It is just objectively false.
He didn’t say that. He said being a good parent that cares more for their kid than their own interest will force you to become a mature person. Listen to the first few minutes again. He doesn’t say narcissist will change and become good people just because they have kids.
I’m a new and single mom since she was 6 months old because I grew up and put her first and “dad” did not and his narcissistic selfishness literally almost got us killed… so, at least the truth came out early, we survived and are no contact with that mess (for now.) I still struggle with the what if’s of the future, his potential involvement in her life if he can truly ever mature and put her first, but mostly, my heart aches because I lost my bio dad before I was born to a car accident and my “dad” and mom split up when I was 11 & we barely talk anymore and I never wanted that for her… what will I say when she is old enough to ask where her dad is when I have processed through my CPTSD enough to give her a healthy answer and not perpetuate the generational trauma of raising my narcissistic mother who also has PTSD and BPD? For now, I’m just grateful I can be with her in these beginning moments. 11 months old and she is my whole world…
This video is so awkward to watch, the tone used is so off putting. Advice: just enjoy spending time with your kid, just enjoy it. Create memories, don’t have these goals… looks like crazy parenting and not genius relations, then you create competition monster, narcissistic children
@ o he is not. Sorry you need to grow up. This American society of always competition is what is so fucked up in this country. Get out there you will see other nation are more genuine with their relationship.
He is an amazing, intelligent, rational human being. He is an amazing father. He has taught me so much. A brave man, who is not scared to speak up. Maybe read his advice, then you do not need to hear the voice? ❤
00:00 1 YOU HAVE “LITTLE KIDS” FOR 4 YEARS
00:24 2 ENCOURAGE YOUR CHILDREN
01:20 3 CONSEQUENT OVER-PROTECTION
01:54 4 THE NOTION OF “BURDEN”
02:55 5 THE MAIN “JOB” OF A PARENT
04:43 6 LACK OF ROUGH AND TUMBLE PLAY
05:14 7 GENERATIONAL DETRIMENTAL EFFECT
06:21 8 BEWARE OF NAIVE TRUST
07:19: 9 HOW TO WIN AT THE GAME OF LIFE
Having my wife stay home has led to compromises in our standard of living. We drive older cars and don’t yet own our home. Money is often tight.
But I honestly cannot imagine waking my children up at 6:00 in the morning to drop them off with strangers that aren’t able to nurture or give them one on one attention. The thought of it breaks my heart.
Some sacrifice is necessary and even needed. Bringing a better work ethic.
To play devil's advocate to your comment
- you don't need to wake your child up at 6:00 a.m. to go to daycare. Daycare will take them at any stage through the day and there are also vacation daycares that do shorter days
- yes they are strangers, but that is just at the beginning and also they are trained on how to look after kids and to Foster relationships with them so they are not just random people on the street
- you only have to do a day or two per week, so you can still do the one on one at home
- daycare also helps Foster routines in children which we know is super important for their development
- this is where and how they learn what socialisation is and this is an important part of what Jordan Peterson was talking about
“It’s very hard to grow up, if they don’t have children.” Until you have someone else that matters more than yourself.
My mum and dad were excellent parents, I'm trying to bring my children up the same way they brought me and my sisters up. My mum is the most loving mum ever, I used to get jelous as a kid because other kids would go to my mum for comfort if they hurt themselves or just wanted a cuddle. My dad was strict and I'm so grateful, if something came on the tv where a young girl had gone missing or something he would tell me, "This is why I'm strict" and now I have my own children I agree 100%. If I can be half as good as my parents I will be happy.
What an excellent comment! Thanks for sharing it with us 😊
I got to stay home with mine for 14 yrs! The best time in my life raising them
Why didn't you work though?
@@johnwalker3614depending on the number of kids(+3) why would she?
Would you not consider that valuable and challenging work?
@dominicives2624 sure let's all have kids and quit our jobs forever
@@George-zt5ll true
Really one of the only people I would take parenting advice from.
My niece just had her first baby and I am so glad she decided to stay at home to raise her child. Yes it will involve material sacrifices, but as Dr. Peterson says, she will never be able to get this time back.
The first year, forced to stay at home, was the worst. Yes the first three months were nice. But afterwards I longed for a meaningful task and the connection to other people. Beeing alone with a young child is being alone as two. At one year old my son went to daycare. He's now five and always happy to meet his friends in kindergarden. And mom is happy to earn her own money and provide for the little family. And those who ask, were the father is, go out and search for him and tell me if you found him. Haven't heard from him for five years. And don't ask me why he's not interested in this wonderful child. I have no clue.
I stayed home to raise my children. I am now in my 70's and really do not remember what I gave up to be with them. Our culture is more concerned with "their wants" than they are with raising healthy responsible children. We have pushed education to the point of disfunction....woman are raised to think a career is the most important goal in life. The best job I ever had was raising my kids. You continue to learn your entire life...there is no end to it; however, there is a time frame for bearing and raising children
@@juliag7361the fact that you needed to connect with stranger adults rather than valuing and working on the connection with your own child says a lot in terms of an attachment disorder with your own mother. Sad to hear you are a single mom and the father is not interested in your child, I hope your child can heal the wounds that come with it throughout her life. I hope the best for you 2.
God gives special graces to single Moms who dont have a choice as in your case. So even though its not the ideal, the grace is there for you and your children to take on both roles because youre clearly a loving mother.
@@juliag7361 With all due respect you're the exception. Personally, biologically, scientifically and spiritually, the child needs his mother and most of all the child needs both parents. I know me and my siblings (including my father) were happy, grateful and enjoyed every minute of having mom around when we were kids. Seems like you're trying to undermine what this mother did for her child, comes off as rude and spiteful. I'm sorry for your experience but by the looks of it, it seems as if you wish you had the privilege of experiencing the same thing.
Sir, you have taught me so much over the past few years. It is healing to hear real rational truth. I am a grandmother who adores you. God bless you. Keep that truth coming. ❤
Just so you know, this isn't his channel, this is some random person using his footage for views.
I worked in elementary schools. Don't leave them there. They need the care and love of parenting. And the bonus, parents learn a pure surrender to love
What do you suggest? Homeschooling
Every single day I testimony parents literally “dropping” the kids from their sliding door as school’s curb, even very earlier than school start time. Then, they left driving while texting soullessly.
Unfortunately most kids around are just consequences of a night for some dumb and entitled people.
@@TanyaDavis954 Don't think of it as homeschooling. It's best to still bring them to a formal education center a few times a week/month through co ops or whatever. The reality is that elementary education is 5 days a week 8 hours a day just so that the parents can work. Kids don't need anywhere close to that much time to lean math, reading, and writing.
We are seeing the consequences of this now because the teachers are demanding more & more time off. Parents can no longer rely on institutions to look after them 8 hours a day 5 days a week. They have really lost their purpose.
Now teachers in Alberta have almost 3 months off in total. They added another 2 week long breaks and pretty much only a few stretches of 2 weeks solid.
In regards to what they are actually teaching in schools, it may be good. But some parents will have a hard time.
There are a lot of people who grew up in domestic violence and abuse and nevertheless as an adult you can choose to heal and break the cycle. So even if you didn’t have the best role models you can still be a good role model for your future kids. Breaking the abuse cycle is the most freeing and inspiring sensation knowing that your kids will never experience that.
❤❤❤
Yes!!! ❤️❤️❤️
1 is not easier than 2 infact 2 is easier than 1 from when they are both above 3 years old its total bliss.
Ours are 3 and 7, super fun watching them fight, and a few seconds later they playing. Evening time they sleeping all over each other in the bed, cuddling
I definitely agree. Having kids helps you grow up
Not necessarily, I have had parents on youth trips that were more childish than the kids they were supposed to be chaperoning.
Having children help you grow up. Most adults don't truly mature until they have kids, not necessarily true for everyone but generally speaking is true
I wish I had heard these tasks when I was young with my children.
The first rule hit me hard with my first two. I worked too hard and put too much effort in professionally rather than at home with my little ones. May God forgive me.
One of my biggest regrets in life is having only one child.
Good to know
It is great to know. Young people need to read that commen. Next to following Christ, having six kids is my best decision.
I'm 35. I tell younger people that there's nothing better than being a parent. They are troublesome and challenging but there is simply nothing more rewarding than rearing children.
Why
For point #9, my favorite example that illustrates this is the film "Little Miss Sunshine".
It shows so much at so many different levels of life!
Sometimes, in some things, Jordan is so on the mark. Other things of his I’m not so sure about. But this I think he nails it. Dead on.
I don’t have any children but raised one who didn’t have a father man enough to do it himself.
🍪
So you are a father then. God bless you.
Pick better men to sleep with
Loved this...Thank you for doing this video ...I shared it with my kids and family...who have just become parents.❤
You're very welcome 😊 🙏 Glad you enjoyed it!
Exactly, my baby is 8 months old and another baby is on the way. She needs siblings, she needs to play and grow up with someone and have a best friend for life. So best is to give her a brother or sister…
my body wouldn't handled that so fast. Great you can :D. I hope with 3,5 years apart it will be also fine :)
We have several of our 9 that are 15-18 months apart. It was physically difficult in the beginning bc they need you for EVERYTHING, but those particular pairs of siblings are very close as they have gotten older.
Every kid is different you will know when they are ready to move from interacting only with parents to interact with other kids.
no, millions of children are left in nurseries and we pretend they are socialising. it’s a convenient lie to make mothers feel better about ditching them there in favour of working in an office.
I would love children but life hasn't been ideal and I'm getting old. I was a parentified child starting at the age of 4. It's hard being a child raising yourself and raising your adult parent and trying to keep the house and bills together and go to school. Lots of my mother's friends would say I was well behaved and an old soul. Every adult around me told me being an adult was harder then being a child. I remember everyone couldn't wait to be older but me. Adults lives are harder and my life was already hard. Not only did I have the parenting experience of raising myself but I raised my mother. Later an old childhood friend from beginning of primary school reflected that I seemed more the adult. Because I was. The plus to this was I was ready to enter the real world graduating not long after my 17th birthday. The idea people in my country should be elevated of their student debt annoys me. At 17 I was doing full time higher eduction and full time in hospitality which hospitality is great for that if your a student particularly the kitchen end of things. I started as a dishy and worked my way to cook. At one point I had it so fine tuned inwas doing double full time study and overtime hours at work with a 2hr daily social life with my friends and I partied on the weekends and showed up for work which work on the week ends was a split shift meaning I didn't have to start super early. During summer holidays 2.5months I worked 2 jobs 18hrs days and 7days a week I was earning 1.5k on a bad week and 2.5k on a good week back in 2008. I paid for all my education as I went. I never had a debt. I did 7yrs 2006 to 2013. I had one kid asking for help in trying to fit a part time job with his fulltime education. So I told him I'd give him the formula to have his cake and eat it too. He responded I'm not a machine. Neither was I. It's just called being efficient and time management it doesnt happen immediately practice. Read the other day someone had a debt of 38k my 3yr bachelor so without distinction cost me 55k and I paid for it as I went. I never had a debt. These people have debt because they wanted the easy way out and are lazy. If you can't afford the education then maybe it's a luxury and you should focus on your paying job and how to increase that pay then go get an education. You're a responsible adult. Jobs give you money. You need money for things. You don't have money for things then you don't get things because you've mismanaged yourself and finances. If they get their debt paid off for them do I get back the money I paid for my education? Why not? It's the same thing except I was more responsible about it. Why should I suffer because I was more responsible. People need to stop coddling adults. Too many adults are still children.
My friend. Sighs gently. Im 40. I got 8 children and a 20 month old. I wish I would have had a childhood like yours tbh. It was a rough upbringing. Don't let anything cheat you out of the fulfillment of watching your children grow. Watching your influence and your name carry on and branch. Its my way of making the world a better place. God bless you and good luck.
I I was raised in fairytale.. apparently.. then life wind took me to materialistic world and still i didn’t know there were evil people in the world.. I woke up in reality of life at age 50 and started learning life over… I was shocked to realize how hurt I had been because no one taught me that life is not just good people
Jordan Peterson has said that’s the definition of PTSD
I was raised by my grandparents who are very principled. No lying, and not taking advantage of people. It was really hard for me to accept that it's so easy for other people to lie to me; and because of this I was taken advantage of and betrayed and for decades I was hoping that it would change. But I realized, very few people are honorable, dignified and honest
I never clean up when they were napping I always cleaned up and worked on things when there awake so that they could see me doing that and that it was normal. Life is not a Disney move were problems just magic fix them self’s.
My kids are teenagers now and i have stayed home with them since birth.
No one regrets the fact of having spend too much time with their kids!
During my son’s primary socialization years 4-6 was when the pandemic hit.
Check out Gordon Neufeld for attachment! So well done!
It was so taugh for the kids
Me too and I see the difference between him and his older brother ( 5 years between)
mine too but other than a few weeks of lockdown what difference did it make? i think it was worse for kids who were teenagers at that time
@@theFortuneTales Tough. Shows that nobody should take these shitty UA-cam vids for advice. Can't even master the English language.
I would like to meet this man he is highly intelligent
Briiliant advice and so true!
Thanks
You're Welcome 🙏😊
Thanks Jordan 😍
All I thought about when he talked about winning was Michael Jordan
Bravissimo, Dr Peterson!
Very good compilation, thanks
Glad you enjoyed it
I love this ❤
The most difficult part for me is inviting the witch to the party.... But it makes sense. They need to be prepared. Thanks for all the advice.
You're very welcome 😊 🙏
Agree.
What to do with older kids or teens? Is there a way to help them to develop these qualities?
Have conversations
If you're not living it they won't care. You have to be these things first. If you're already these things then you can explain why you're doing something in a particular way: for what benefit you're doing something that seems unintuitive. If they're inquisitive then wait for them to ask questions. Interrupting their day for a meeting where you lecture them would be annoying, and they wouldn't listen or care.
If you're not living out these things you'll be hypocritical, and they'll lose respect for you AND the ideas themselves.
Thank you for taking the time to make this compilation. Really useful
Glad it was helpful! 🙏😊
This is fantastic advice. Thank you for sharing
You are so welcome!
I concur 💯 Thanks!!!
You're welcome!
Top rules
5:40 I disagree with him that parenting is “in your bones”. Motherhood is learned! I can personally attest to that. I think the better you can “do the job” the more confident and fulfilled you’ll be in that role. Finding role models is true but it doesn’t have to be your own parents…
Then why do blacks have much higher rates of infant and child abuse?
He said ...IF you've been mothered properly. Gosh
What you say is true. What he says is also true. It is much more likely that you will be a good parent if you were parented well. It doesn't HAVE to be this way, but it's much more likely. That's why it's so important to be a good parent to your children, because you are setting them up to be great parents for their own children eventually.
Thank you very much!!!! Kid are the most beautifull thing in life!
very powerful, thank you very much for sharing. I definitely am that overly empathic and caring father mentioned in the video. Any suggestions on how to undo or mitigate the damages to my child's confidence and courage while it is still possible?
Yeah, don't worry about this grifters bullsh*t and go your own way.
@DinosaurForTheWin i think this is not a good advice. I observed it myself in my own and my child's behavior, nobody else told me. The video just expressed what I was already aware of.
Dinosaur for the win, why are you here listening to "a grifter". Why not listen to those who are on the same page as you? Maybe you should go your own way and not listen to Dr. Peterson.
Not sure if you've read Raising Mentally Strong Kids by Dr Daniel Amin. It's an amazing book. The biggest mistake we do as parents is trying to solve everything for our kids and not letting them be uncomfortable and figuring things out themselves.
@@theFortuneTales i must have heard of it, thanks for a reminder, I will try to get the book !
false smiles
the worst💔❤️
Excellent points! I really enjoyed the video, some things I already knew but some I never really thought about in this way.
Glad you enjoyed it!
How do you learn to play with your kids if your parent didn’t or played “wrong” with you as a kid?
I struggle with this a lot. My mom didn’t know how to play with us as a kid and my dad only played tickling games in which he would jot stop until you were beyond crying and not begging or pleading would get him to stop. I want to play with my children (3/4/6years currently ), and i sit down to play with them and find I simply cannot begin. I can organize toys, or read books, but beyond that I’m lost. I was called imaginative all my life, but now I’m realizing it’s not actually true.
I remember hearing someone say, “watch your child play for a while, and then join in.” Maybe that idea will help. And read books to them sitting together on the couch. Take them to the playground and push them on the swing. If you’re in a cold climate, go sledding with them in winter - sit on the sled and ride down the hill with them. I hope that helps 😊 I think you know better how to play with them than you think!
Also your children are mobile so you can introduce them to older kids games like hide and seek, tag you’re it etc. but watch them play and then join in.
I think that sometimes we should just follow the lead of our kids..they often like simple things like dressing up barbies, making puzzles or crafts. Even having them help you bake or cook can build fun memories together. Maybe try to observe what they are playing with or what they like and jump and follow their play..
Or ask them what they would like to play..and try not saying 'no" :) I feel your struggle and sometimes feel the same like you. Good Luck!
Playing pretend is so much fun. Let them take the lead and don’t try to manage or control or correct. Do the old improv technique of “yes, and”.
The floor is lava.
Make a pretend zoo - get their stuffed animals and pick out a “cage” for each one. Let them lead if you’re not sure. Like, the lion stuffy “cage” is his bed. The pillow is his cave, the blanket over there is his pool to swim in. Now the dresser drawer is the aquarium for the whale… etc.
Drive around the house in a pretend train (or whatever they’re into. Maybe you’re riding a unicorn) and go on an adventure!
Start by speaking to them and go from there, ask them...
What do you want me to play as in this game?
What are we making, what do you want me to make?
Once you know roughly what they want, go beyond that so they can learn from you 👍
Wow thank you dr Peterson.
Im listening to this and my 2 year old yells out Hansel and Gretel!!! And then when he talks about the candy house “oh candy, I want some of my candy” 😂
Great compilation, thank you!
Thank you 🙏 so much 😊
Let's not forget, how the relationship between the parents and their individual behaviour affects the children.
Faking behaviour to your kids teaches them to fake to others... but maybe that's a social strategy nowadays.
💯 %
All in the book of proverbs. Nevertheless this was a helpful reminder 🙏
💯 % true
You sound like bob odenkirk
Haha. 100% true
!!MY FAV MAN IN WORLD
LOVE THIS CLIPS
Awesome 😊 🙏 Thanks
My mother always left me on the floor when I was an infant and now I have a flat head. They've always been broke and made terrible decisions in life, including deciding that we didn't need friends.
Having children should be illegal for some people.
Jesus loves you so so much ❤
I don’t want children because my mom was such a child, and now that she’s finally out of my life, I get to be my own person.
I might not be quite as mature for my age, but honestly, I feel twice as old, because It feels like my mother and I switched places. Children age you. Parents who never grew up age you too. Jordan Petersen just doesn’t get it. If I’m not mature enough to have children, then I’m fine with that. Because my parents weren’t either.
Sounds like you had a narccistic mother that drained the life out of you, and now that you are finally free you want to enjoy life. one day when you have healed and taken time for yourself you might want children.
Kids don't listen to what you say... they do what you do. 😱
So putting your child into daycare early is a good thing? Sure not too early either, babies need their parents.
Babies and pre-schoolers need their parents the most. Unless absolutely necessary, please do not put your kids in daycare. No matter how great those teachers are, they’re no substitute for mom or dad. Play dates can be arranged, neighbor kids can become friends, cousin time, etc - lots of ways to socialize while avoiding daycare completely!
I disagree a good bit. 5 years ago, before kids, I would have agreed completely. But our oldest had a large speech delay that led us to try daycare for long-form socialization around 3, but I've been blown away by how much both children have learned. And they've been exposed to kids that aren't as kind, giving them some hardiness. There's plenty of time for relationship building in early evening and weekends. I wouldn't have wanted to send them earlier than 2-3, but 0 regrets- it has been a blessing.
@@TheChrysalis83 the daycare system in the US is so overwhelmed, and can be ridiculously expensive. Some parents spend their entire income on daycare costs which just doesn’t make financial sense.
I’m glad your child was able to get into a good program and find the help they need. That would qualify as “absolutely necessary” in my opinion (an opinion doesn’t matter at all, you do what’s best for your own kids! 😉) but too many parent stress their budgets and the system unnecessarily - their kids can get the same benefits or better from intentional parenting.
Amen 🙏🏻
People are not afraid of disciplining but more like lazy to discipline their kids. Then when the kid starts acting up the way they have been raised by the lazy parent, the stupid lazy parent gets upset then blames the child
Unfortunately we don't support mothers in those years so they can be their best for their kids.
I agree moms cannot shelter kids too much.
100% agree
I do think being a mom is different now. I think it's lonelier. Families are more spread out. Sometimes it's hard to find a cohort of the same age for your kid to play with. With my first kid we were so isolated and I really struggled as a young, inexperienced mom.
Having one child is MUCH harder than having two!!
How so?
Huh?! I have 4 children and when I had one it was the easiest so..
Have I failed as a parent if my child still misbehaves at 4 she has autism an difficulty learning she's happy but easily distracted
Yeah but how?
Great advice, but if you have 3 kids, that’s a minimum of 15 years, not 4. And 15 years of your working life can be half if you work 30 years. 4 years out of 80 let’s say isn’t much, but 15 out of 30, that’s half. Most people really can’t do that. And I think the most important point that he misses, is some parents don’t want to stay at home. And a stay at home parent that really doesn’t want to be there, that’s not any better and probably worse than daycare.
Each child requires 6 months off work, then part time work until age 3, so really with your 3 kids you "lose"(it is not losing, it is not being physically present) about 5 years total
Be Rich! Or it'll be bloody painful Buddy!
wtf is that kid spraying on that bike wheel. It hurts my eyes.
How many children does he have?
Jordan Peterson has 2 kids , Mikhaila and Julian Peterson, 31 and 28
9:21 Floyd Mayweather
My son is doomed.
At 4,5 years, there's already so much missing from this list, I'm not a good mother, never was, never will be (not saying that to be complimented, it's the bare, sad and shitty truth), no father, no siblings, depressed joyless mother, rejected by so many already, because he likes to be in total control (no surprise there), I don't see hope for him, he will not have a good standing in life.
The number one thing that will define the future for your child is instilling a growth mindset.
That change starts with you. You haven’t been a good mother, you aren’t a good mother today. Your child is struggling with interacting within the social construct right now.
People learn, grow and change.
Stop speaking these things into your child and yourself! Your words have power. You might not FEEL like you’re a good mother but guess what? You can CHANGE, you can GROW, you CAN be INTENTIONAL about becoming a better mother to your child. Be the mom you never had, be the one person you needed the most to your child.
Can't trust a dad who teaches his son to hold a fishing pole and guitar upside down 😂
😊👍♥️😂
What about the father? 😢
Fun to play with and soccer from 2 to 4??? Is this serious? I have never seen little kids of max 4 years play soccer
I play often soccer with my 2 year old. And we go to training every Sunday. So y it is possible. But they play more like max 30 min if you are lucky.
Plastic sheet on the couch. What is this, a Portuguese recording?
Most of things Jordan says I agree. But I disagree that having a children makes you a grown man. You just need to look around and see how many assholes have kids. Many people have kids and are selfish narcissists. It is just objectively false.
He didn’t say that. He said being a good parent that cares more for their kid than their own interest will force you to become a mature person. Listen to the first few minutes again. He doesn’t say narcissist will change and become good people just because they have kids.
This ☝️
@@ScottM117 He doesn't have to say it - it is implied.
I’m a new and single mom since she was 6 months old because I grew up and put her first and “dad” did not and his narcissistic selfishness literally almost got us killed… so, at least the truth came out early, we survived and are no contact with that mess (for now.) I still struggle with the what if’s of the future, his potential involvement in her life if he can truly ever mature and put her first, but mostly, my heart aches because I lost my bio dad before I was born to a car accident and my “dad” and mom split up when I was 11 & we barely talk anymore and I never wanted that for her… what will I say when she is old enough to ask where her dad is when I have processed through my CPTSD enough to give her a healthy answer and not perpetuate the generational trauma of raising my narcissistic mother who also has PTSD and BPD? For now, I’m just grateful I can be with her in these beginning moments. 11 months old and she is my whole world…
@@LmntalBliss Make better life choices, hun
This video is so awkward to watch, the tone used is so off putting. Advice: just enjoy spending time with your kid, just enjoy it. Create memories, don’t have these goals… looks like crazy parenting and not genius relations, then you create competition monster, narcissistic children
He is RIGHT. Your job is to form your kid, to be pantners with him, he is not yet made.
@ o he is not. Sorry you need to grow up. This American society of always competition is what is so fucked up in this country. Get out there you will see other nation are more genuine with their relationship.
@ WRITING IN CAP JUST SHOW HOW DUMB YOU ARE!
@@AdamD-o8v I have frown up, and raised three lovely kids, the eldest is over 30. I am from another nation. Peterson is right.
@ i had 9 kids. You are wrong.
Hope these next 4 years go by quick lol 😅
I’m curios to know how good is this guy to his kids. Just hearing his voice is soooooooo annoying 😂
😊 He seems to have a great relationship with them. His daughter Mikhaela and him often do podcasts together!
He is an amazing, intelligent, rational human being. He is an amazing father. He has taught me so much. A brave man, who is not scared to speak up. Maybe read his advice, then you do not need to hear the voice? ❤
His kids are grown now, they adore him.
Rule #1 Don't listen to Jordan Peterson
I can almost guarantee that you read the title, clicked on the video, left this ignorant comment, and clicked off the video.
@JJ-rq1mb I can almost guarantee you need to clean your room, Bucko