I was married for 20 yrs. I did all these things and it increasingly got worse. I pray everyone has a healthy relationship where your efforts are appreciated. Many people take everything for granted and become overly critical as the decades pass. Staying curious and intentionally interested are necessary. Familiarity breeds contempt. You MUST choose each other daily. God bless your marriages. Keep God in the center and you will flourish 🙏🏽💕
@@MeetStephanSpeaks Stephan, can you talk more about how a Christian woman can find a Christian man? I have found that the churches I've attended and visited have a huge shortage of single men!
@@laurenholly1849 You have to trust God because He is the perfect match maker. The Bible says that the desire of the righteous will be granted and once you delight yourself in Him, He will give you the desire of your heart. Stephan can't help in that area.. he is not even a Christian himself
3# is not about "giving" space, it is actually about "respecting" people's space, regardless of the gender, we all need it at some point, the time with ourselves is essential for recharging and for better adapting to the environment and to the relationship 🥰
This is so true. At least, I'm like that. People act like it's only men. Are women maybe smothering men, if they think it's so strange to need space? I get to feeling crowded or something at times & just need a few days to focus on myself or whatever. It's not a big deal. "Space" isn't ghosting or disappearing w/o a phone call for 2 weeks. That's something else. That's not "needing space."
So the wife also works all day, picks up the kids, makes dinner…he walks in and wants “a breather”?!?! WTF- when does the wife get a breather? AND you want my exhausted ass to initiate sex!! NOPE!! And I was married for 30 years!
@@leahel-amin4454 and is there a point where she would want a "breather" as well? You want to go from work, to kids, to the kitchen, to your man. Plenty of women want their space too
These things should not be a secret. Men need to stop thinking women are mind readers...and vice versa...and TALK. Tell each other what you want, what you need. A closed mouth don't get fed...ijs
Please watch & Like video! many points he hits for each!🙏🏼 1. COOKING :::(cater to your partner's desire) 2. MAINTAIN (balanced) INDEPENDENCE :::(understanding the balance you need to strike) 3. SPACE :::(it's not personal, awareness of when man needs "a breather" or time alone) 4. INITIATING SEX :::(instances where sex is already being had, honesty, spontaneity) 5. SENSITIVE TO HIS FEELINGS :::(Timing) 6. LET HIM LEAD 7. KEEP LOOKING GOOD FOR HIM :::(be willing, it shows that you care) 8. APPRECIATE HIM :::(Acknowledge his value show gratitude) 9. NOT MAGNIFY HIS MISTAKES :::(keep things in perspective)
@@soundoff85then why don't you men marry the ride or dye women you all string along for years? Women will do alot of services and pay your way and birth your children only for you men to walk away.
#2 is why it's important to learn to be single and happy already before moving forward in a relationship. I'm soo content as a single woman, it scares me sometimes. I want a husband but he has to have a life outside of the relationship.
@@Gdenise and Demonica Banks remember the bible says everyone is not meant to be married. If you are ok with being single it is nothing wrong with that. Don't get in a relationship or get married, because society is telling you that what you should do. The bible actually says you can have a more fulfilling life if you aren't. I am on my second marriage and really, really contemplated, if I would do it again. He was the one pushing it, because I would of been ok with companionship every other weekend! LOL And no momma not no H! LOL
Same here. I love my space & we've been together 30 years, since high school. I truly feel giving each other space is a huge reason why. It helps to keep from growing tired of each other.
WORDS OF WISDOM: The Value of Knowing God according to God's Written Word Proverbs 4:23 Keep thy heart with all diligence; For out of it are the issues of life. God's Word will guard your eyes, ears, and mouth and will guard your life. Psalms 46:10 Be still and know I am God. The Hebrew word STILL means Submit and Trust. Let Go and Release
I've realized that I didn't want to do many of these things mentioned here with my ex, because I didn't feel his masculine energy was strong enough to awake my femenine energy. Many men want this things in a woman, but they have to realize that in order to receive a femenine woman, they need to be masculine first. Otherwise, we won't feel comfortable enough. On the other hand, I have just met who will be my future husband and I genuiely want to do this things for him without him even asking for them, because he's masculine and I truly feel protected, therefore I want to make the greatest of my efforts to make him happy.
I think your problem is communication, ask him what he wants and tell him what you want, stop listening to all these social media generalization, each individual has his/her own desires.
I think ppl don't want to hear that a woman only wants to deliver for the man she really fits with. I know many men. I have only met two who I've WANTED to cook for. 👍🏾
@@MsSnu Ikr. I love so much my husband that I cook daily for him, but he's protective, masculine and a provider, I didn't want to give my femenine attributes to men that acted like a child and only saw me as a second mother.
If a man's mother is a good cook, don't feel awkward to ask her to help you with his favourite foods! I am British, but my partner is from the US South. I went out of my way to learn how to fry chicken, make cornbread, a good bowl of chilli .... And it took a few attempts with his honest feedback to make it GOOD! I actually love cooking for him and fussing over him this way.
I need that cornbread recipe please😁. (and if corn meal is more like corn flour or corn polenta...hard to get the right ingredients outside of the states)
My MIL took me into the kitchen 2 wks before my late husband & I got married. I appreciated her for doing this & I expect myself to do the same for my future in laws
Space for each other just reminds me of the quote "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" and now I realize it means to give each other healthy space and not to play hard to get.
@@redlove2266 but sometimes going out the home is necessary depending on how the home is. I take a walk every other day when I get off work. My husband knows this is my me time n I need it to decompress from work. It's too hard to this in our home because as soon as I come home my kids will bombard me n I need that lil bit of space to clear my mind
Very nice Christian! Give each other the Gift of Missing one another… by giving each other space, and make sure you have things going on independently of one another… and when you finally get together - cook each other’s favorite food every once in a while to keep things interesting… Any, that’s my two cents. -Carlos Verde - Dating Tips
The bottom line is to be honest with each other and get to know each other's needs and preferences in everything, and be open to these differences, realizing that it is not about one preference being better than another, just different, and every couple is individual and different from others. When both people are trying to please the other in all honesty and openness, problems are easily dealt with.
i love to cook for my men, but not because i am a woman, because i love him, but i expect the same from him too. i work too. and when i came home I want him to cook for me too!! that is marriage. you take care for each other.
I love love love this! Being previously married, I can attest that each of these points are very necessary. And I just knew cooking was in there somewhere! 😂 I LOVE feeding what’s mine!!
I recognize all the aspects you mention. And I can truly say I apply every one of them in my relationship. I see how happy it makes him when I give him the credits, validation, space, love, cater on him etc. He needs it and it makes him feel like a real man. And it all comes natural for me because I do it out of love for him and I know how happy it makes him. I had to get used to the leading part tho, just like you said. Afraid to give up control but it worked out just fine. It was something I had to overcome and it had to do with me trusting him completely. And you know what: I love the fact that he leads now because I don't have to worry about certain things and it makes him feel like a real man. It feels natural now and he leads me in the perfect way. I hate the negative sound of it tho...
I have been learning so much from your teachings, but one thing that stands out most to me is your honor towards waiting until marriage for sex. Thank you so much for encouraging this. It is absolutely commendable and I believe that sex is a gift that God upholds for us to especially enjoy under His covenant. Thank you for sharing the wisdom that God pours into you. It is very much appreciated.
Keyword: Balance. We Have To Learn How To Strike A Good Balance In Relationships, This Reminds Me Of The Phrase Everything In Moderation. Not Too Much Independence And Not Too Little Of It Either! 👍
The point about having your own life and allowing him to miss you also needs to be explained to men when it comes to desire. Some men won’t leave their woman alone long enough for her to initiate anything and it can kill her desire.
Just wanted to say I've watch a ton of your videos (usually in the background while I'm doing chores lol) and you're like the big wiser older brother I never had, you talk so much common sense and it has definitely helped me apply it to my own relationships. Thanks!
Your point on leadership thoroughly explains one of the struggles I had in my failed marriage. I like how you've explained it and the lesson I've talken from it is that, it is very important for a woman to CHOOSE a man that she can TRUST to LEAD her effectively. Thank you Stephan 👏🏾☺
I trust my husband...I don't require being led. I hate how we treat women like children...not quite mature enough to make decisions or lead herself at times.
As always you are on point. These 9 things that men want are so true. As I listen to the 9 things, I thought about my marriage (divorced now) & it trigger some things that I did wrong & him too. Thank you for the detail video. You are doing amazing job for everyone. God got you!!
The more I listen to you stand on and affirm what it takes for a relationship to be healthy, successful, and forever, the more I respect and admire you as a coach, as well as a person…I don’t believe they’re separate. You appear very passionate and sincere with your heart for God, and insightful advice…then there’s that contagious belly laughter! Thank you for “walkin’ the walk” when waaaayyy too many (on this platform) are just “talkin’ the talk.” You’re a true example and the genuine article.
I fell upon your site one night and been on it every night. I've been married for 28 yrs and only had one man which was my husband. I became a widow in 2020. I'm so out of touch with dating and reacting to men. But found out that most of the quality you speak about women to have I already have them and find that men find me different. I'm kinda old school where you meet people and date, now it online meeting and boy do these guys have games with them. So thanks for your tapes and talk it really helps me. I appreciate you.
I’m so sorry about you losing your partner. So true. I think I have a lot of these things too but I’ve struggled to find someone with the same values as me. I’m pretty old school too but my independence & speak-my-mind energy puts people off I think. It’s hard for me because I enjoy spoiling my partner when in a relationship. Most people don’t think much of these points these days. I find that relationships have become disposable. It’s such a shame because I think marriage is such a sacred & beautiful union 💖 Take your time, there will be someone for you too. God bless you 💖 lots of love
#2 I just learned how important our own space is. I am enjoying time with my girlfriends. Now I know what space is for a man. It’s really no different in women. Respect each other and watch a relationship grow. Thank you.
Your information is always on point. You have helped me tremendously on my dating journey. I am a separated woman and I find that everything you say is so true. One thing that has helped me the most is to pray before jumping to conclusions. Also realizing men do have feelings too is very important.
In Ephesians it says to love and forgive. It also says to make sure what we say is edifying only. That has been on my heart alot. But we also need to love ourselves and make sure our thoughts about ourselves are edifying and we forgive ourselves. I find that many of my past reactions have come out of my own shame or guilt or criticism of myself. Also I had to learn to trust God's love enough to trust the people God was asking me to trust.
AMEN! SO TRULY RIGHT! GREAT INSPIRING AMAZING STRONG POWERFUL POSITIVE WORDS OF WISDOM! GOD BLESS US ALL ! GOD LOVES US ALL ! SELF LOVE! BELOVED! LET YR LIGHT 4EVER SHINE BRIGHT! SMILE ALWAYS!( EVEN IN STORMS THAT U GO THRU!) HOLD ON TO GOD ALWAYS! GOD IS ALWAYS WITH US! PRAY OFTEN AND DAILY TO GOD ALWAYS! GOD IS OUR EVERYTHING! GOD CAN HANDLE ANYTHING! GOD HAS US COVERED! GOD IS WORKIN IT OUT! ON HIS GOD GIVEN RIGHT TIME! GLORY TO GOD ALMIGHTY ! TELL THE LORD THANK U FOR THIS BLESSED TODAY! AND FOR EVERYONE IN YR LIFE RIGHT NOW AND ALWAYS! BE GRATEFUL AND THANKFUL FOR ALL THINGS! AND FOR EVERYONE IN YR LIFE RIGHT NOW AND ALWAYS! GOD WILL SEE US THRU ALL THINGS IN YR LIFE RIGHT NOW AND ALWAYS! GOD WILL NEVER LEAVE U NOR FORSAKE U! PEACE AND HARMONY TO EVERYONE IN THE WORLD RIGHT NOW! YES INDEED! ENOUGH SAID! THATS IT! OCT2021
I recognized he needed space last night. His mom is going thru cancer, the distance adds extra stress however, he showers me w attention daily, so it was difficult for me to not get in my head, but I reminded myself how, when I recently needed to be left alone, he asked if I needed anything and told me to call or text him when ready. My ex of 18 yrs had a very stressful career, I allowed him half an hour after work to unwind on the patio etc, had a cold beer open/waiting for him. He didn't appreciate it.
#7 @30:00 Yesss! I dated a guy that I loved his beard, but instead of trimming it, he would shave it off completely. He did not care that I expressed liking his beard. I didn’t break up with him because of this, but I definitely felt what was said in this video. Now I am dating a guy that takes care of his beard.
I think this is a great list if this is in a healthy relationship in which both partners are getting what they need. As someone that was married for 19 years and now divorced. It is important to be flexible and understanding that If you have little toddlers at home, or if they just had a new baby some of this items on this list might need to be adjusted for a little bit. Thank you 🙏🏽❤️
Gentlemen, for a lot of women stress is a turn off. Stress can affect many areas for a woman, weight, self care, serial appetite, appreciation etc. Chronic stress can become trauma. Trauma can have unpredictable results. No telling at that point, what the man could become associated with if the woman has become traumatized by chronic stress. With ❤ guys. Thanks again for the insight.
Regarding cooking, everyone has different tastes. It may be not that she's not a good cook, but it's not cooked to his preference. If so, he needs to tell her (preferably ahead of time) what his preferences are (low salt, high pepper, meat done thoroughly or not quite done, etc.). As for space, I want space, too, and realize he needs space. But I imagine he's seeing someone else, when I think he's in his man cave. So I hang back and give him space, but I worry and imagine all sorts of things while I do that.
Understand what you are saying but I have friends who think they just don't need to cook or learn to cook because cooking doesn't make the relationship! 😅😅 Let's just say, ain't working for either of them! As a matter of fact, they all eating out together most of the time LOL While I was raised to cook and love doing it, have a good relationship! And like you said, we talk about tastes because we're from different cultural backgrounds so I make sure I adjust some meals.
@@DivaRacers I have wanted my space for several days before. Not just from a man, but from everything. Time to regroup, get some things done, focus on myself. I think this is quite normal for many people. So I wonder if some women crowd men, wanting or even demanding constant contact, almost daily. That seems to me to be insecure and stifling for another person. Even though we're together, we're still separate people. We all need our alone time at some point. But 2 weeks of "space" by a man? That's a problem. There's something going on there.
I agree totally! Give each other the Gift of Missing one another… by giving each other space, and make sure you have things going on independently of one another… and when you finally get together - cook each other’s favorite food every once in a while to keep things interesting… Anyway, that’s my two cents. -Carlos Verde - Dating Tips
or go out and have dinner instead lol..no need to cook in this day and age..there are microwave..sounds like its only men and women that are empty and have nothing to talk about ..apart from thinking about what to cook etc lol..I ll never marry any such man who want a woman to serve him so he can serve her too..lol the new tactic ;;cook me my fav meal and ill cook yours..do this and ill do this..I dont and I dont want you to cook me any favourite meals..I couldnt care less about food..my favourite meal is a biscuit LOL
I have to admit my cooking was good prior to the pandemic. It's since elevated these past 17months. I also took up baking. I now have two binders of recipes.
It is very necessary that women learn to cook/ perhaps not everything/ because the journey is all about learning. My grandma Nelly, RIP, taught me lots of things about cooking. I love cooking!
The topic of maintaining your interdependence to support the relationship versus independence which feels excluding in the relationship is thought provoking, I'm interested in hearing more about this concept 😎 Personal space is not a rejection or abandonment of your mate, It's healthy boundaries to sustain the relationship. Filling your own cup so that you are able to share yourself with your mate. Think in terms of filling your car with gas so its not running on empty but with your personal energy. Personal space is a necessity in keeping a relationship running smoothly and yet it seems to trigger insecurities instead.
As a chef, I cooked for my ex and he STILL found things to complain about. Learn from me, if you are with a man who complains about your amazing food, RUN!
Stephan you are so hilarious. I love the way how you throw your sense of humor into your videos. You be having me 😄😄😄!!!! I also the way how you keep it 💯!!! I appreciate you real talk. You are my favorite relationship coach!!! I purchase three books already. And I love them. You are the best!!!🤗😍😘
I can't wait for the longer video on #6, because my husband wants me to trust him as a leader, but any decision he's made in the past has always been detrimental to us. He even said the other day that he always makes bad decisions. So how can you trust someone like that to lead you?
Since he has admitted to making wrong decisions, I think you are on the way to having a solution. Ask him how he thinks that can be solved. Act as his therapist until the answer comes from him...
@@BrendaBaBoom Yes and it would help if he would TALK 😫🤦🏿♀️. To be honest, my relationship is almost at its end. Stephan always says how can you have a relationship with a man that won't talk. It's damn near impossible.
@@Womenswell022 Great response. I TOLD him how he could make better decisions in the future, I did not ASK him. Let's see if that helps get us any further in this conversation.
I feel that sex is definitely the top priority if not the main for most men. Reason being is that I’ve had exes that are in committed relationships that have contacted me again out of the blue. Often times after talking for a bit and catching up I find out that the sex isn’t great, repetitive, boring, etc with their current relationship. Hence their reason for ultimately contacting me. 🙄
So, they should be lined up to marry you, or maybe you've declined marriage proposals from all of them. If not, I don't get it. What makes a man marry a woman he is not sexually satisfied with? ...or is it, there are some things he values more than sex? ...or he may just want a different vajayjay after a while?
I think love is the key to every healthy relationship, when we truly love someone we are definitely willing to do whatever it takes to make the relationship work as long as it is something legal and something that won't compromise our own principles.
I feel #6 Let him Lead! I'm over here like ??? You hit the Nail on the Head! I have been MADE to be the lead and I just want to be in my feminine and allow Him to Lead. It has been my experience that allowing this (in the last 18 yrs)shit doesn't get done at all... UGH!
I've been married and then in a long-term relationship. Right now, I'm enjoying being selfish. Some people are just too dayum much work. Relationships require work for sure, but it shouldn't be like a changing puzzle every day. There are a lot of older people who are single by choice. Happy with full lives and no one to clean up after or cook for. I'm good. I still enjoy these videos. They help me to remember why I asked my dude to leave. :-) When I want someone to take care of, I go see my grands. Life is good.
Men are not that simple. They can actually be quite complex creatures. I love this video because a man would know, men tickle me when they become tongue tied.☺
I have two daughters 22 and 12. I will definitely buy your books for them and myself as well. I want them to not go through the type of marriage I had.
I am in a new relationship after 2 years. I am viewing your videos to see if I can check off the boxes. Thank you so much for what you do. It is actually needed. 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
I cook everything from scratch because I like to know what I'm eating and it's healthy, but it's also time consuming and can be expensive. If he is willing to pay for the ingredients, I'll cook for him every meal of every day, no problem 😊
I like that idea - Mary! Lol Give each other the Gift of Missing one another… by giving each other space, and make sure you have things going on independently of one another… and when you finally get together - cook each other’s favorite food every once in a while to keep things interesting… Any, that’s my two cents. -Carlos Verde - Dating Tips
@@MeetStephanSpeaks you should do a video on weird ways dudes try to market themselves to women, like, it took me a really long time to realize that when my guy would try to "one up" me in conversations, he was actually trying to inadvertently communicate to me and show me that he has some great resources and will be an excellent provider. Sadly, I think this behavior also indicates said man has a hard time expressing his emotions, but like, what man doesn't have a hard time expressing their emotions in today's society 😢🤔
You articulate so well a feeling I've been struggling to put to words and name for a very long time about not feeling loved because my partner is inconsiderate about how the way he goes about doing things without regard to my feelings and what my needs are even if I think his needs are valid and I support that. He comes off as selfish most times
I hear you, Stephen, and I wholeheartedly agree. I am a Libra Monkey, also Christian and Southern AR farm girl raised. I have been adapting to men & pleasing men/people since I was born. Now how about a video for MEN.. on how to PLEASE US! Seriously. Physically & emotionally. I get it, we are entirely more intricate, insatiable creatures. I believe if men put half their drive & testosterone into solve Ig the puzzle of pleasing their women, there would be less violence, wars, better home lives for our children, happy people and political peace. Just sayin! 🙏🏻👌🏻💕
That’s one of the things I don’t get offended over. If your cooking for your husband , boyfriend you get enjoyment from them enjoying what their eating. I do ask, is it missing something because I want to make sure they are enjoying what they are eating. If it’s lacking something I would adjust for the next time. It’s important for my other half to enjoy what their eating and that applies to many other aspects in the relationship
@@MeetStephanSpeaks 7 years ago there was a guy who really wanted me but I never gave him the time of day, fast warding to this year, we started hanging around each other because my two friends are related to him so we were in the same space for a couple of times. I decided to give him a chance two weeks ago. Last night he decided to lie to me to ''protect my feelings'' regarding his baby mama and girlfriend that I found out about and we have been sexual, he says he wants to learn to love me and we was honest about loving his girlfriend. Please advice, I really to like him a lot.
Great video!!! With a lot of well needed answers! Not only being the place of peace in his life, but meeting all his true desires, needs, and wants is very important. Thanks for the a better understanding of what healthy, high quality men want and desire. Can’t wait for the next video! Be blessed Stephan🙏🏾💜
AMEN! SO TRULY RIGHT! GREAT INSPIRING AMAZING STRONG POWERFUL POSITIVE WORDS OF WISDOM! YES INDEED! GOD BLESS US ALL! GOD LOVES US ALL! SELF LOVE! BELOVED! LET YR LIGHT 4EVER SHINE BRIGHT! SMILE ALWAYS!( EVEN IN STORMS THAT U GO THRU!) HOLD ON TO GOD ALWAYS! GOD IS ALWAYS WITH US! PRAY OFTEN AND DAILY TO GOD ALWAYS! GOD IS WORKIN IT OUT! ON HIS GOD GIVEN RIGHT TIME! GLORY TO GOD ALMIGHTY! GOD WILL SEE US THRU ALL THINGS IN YR LIFE RIGHT NOW AND ALWAYS! GOD WILL NEVER LEAVE U NOR FORSAKE U! GOD IS OUR EVERYTHING! GOD CAN HANDLE ANYTHING! GOD HAS US COVERED! TELL THE LORD THANK U FOR THIS BLESSED TODAY! AND FOR EVERYONE IN YR LIFE RIGHT NOW AND ALWAYS! BE GRATEFUL AND THANKFUL FOR ALL THINGS! AND FOR EVERYONE IN YR LIFE RIGHT NOW AND ALWAYS! GOD WILL SEE US THRU ALL THINGS IN YR LIFE RIGHT NOW AND ALWAYS! GOD WILL NEVER LEAVE U NOR FORSAKE U! PEACE AND HARMONY TO EVERYONE IN THE WORLD RIGH! YES INDEED ! ENOUGH SAID! THATS IT! OCT 2021
I would say a big way to avoid attacking or being too focused on your own feelings when you have a problem or something serious you want to talk about is don't jump into the conversation you want to have with him. I will take days to a week or two to analyze the situation from my perspective, his possible perspective, I'll do research to see why this could be happening or how a man could feel or why a man could be doing XYZ (whatever the situation is) before I even bring it up. If I have a problem or situation that I want to talk about with him and I just jump into it I'm going to be talking about my emotions because I've spent no time actually figuring out what the problem is. Taking time to think before you speak goes a long way because once you've thought, put some time between the situation (don't take weeks or months to speak on it though so you're not "bringing up the past") you're less likely to be as triggered into a confrontation. Example: Say you and your partner haven't had sex or consistent sex in a while (how ever long too long is for you). You would want to bring this up BUT you should consider your lives at that point. Is he stressed or taking on a lot at work? Do you have kids? Are both of you in good health? Does he seem depressed? Is there an interest he or you. Oth have that has been taking up more of your time? What outside factors could be causing the change? Consider all these things and others before you talk to him. Once you've considered these things the conversation should be gentle and kind. Don't accuse him of stuff you have no proof that he's done. Don't talk down to him and compare him to anyone. Bringing it up might be the first time he's really thought about it and he may be embarrassing to him. If he is stressed, depressed, or too busy and tired during the day he may want to please you but hasn't had the mental or physical energy. It's hard to think that a man wouldn't want to have sex because we're so use to think men are hyper sexual machines but there can be times where he just can't so it's best to think about the situation first, try to figure out what could be going on through his point of view, find a gentle and kind way to bring it up and don't make it all about your emotions. Yes, you should voice how you feel but you need to be calm and open to hear what's going on with him too. Men have emotions too and go through stuff just like we do and they may handle things differently than we would so you have to consider that. You may both feel the same way but have different ways of handling it ❤
I think you are correct, my daughter and my son-in-law do the giving each other a day for themselves. It is a giving because if not agreed upon it would cause dissension. When you have children it is absolutely about giving each other time alone and space.
Just here to say you are incredible. And I am so sucked in.. it’s bad lmao I’ve been watching your videos non stop for the past 3 hours. But it’s all such good information I can’t stop 😭 I’m learning so much! And finding so many things I can improve on, but in an uplifting way. These videos are getting me excited to work on and better myself. Thankyou 🤍 just bought your book also, I hope it gives more insight into “feminine energy”
Thanks for sharing and even reminding us women what's important in a marriage/relationship. I have spoiled my husband. It's to the point, he work and come home to everything done and taken care of. He don't know how much our bills are. Whatever problems that may come our way. I have already dealt with it. I do talk to him about what happen or going on. I have always been this way. I don't really bother him with things, but I do let him know about things. He work 6 days a week and take care of the outside of the house. I don't bother him on his one day off. That's his relax day and I even use that day to relax after I cook. I love my space. I definitely initiate sex, rather he in the shower or bed. I'm not a perfect wife, but I'm a damn good wife. We appreciate each other
@@FleurRebelle No you sound bitter. Trust me he do a lot for me. It's harder for a man to Love you then a woman to be submissive. When i say love, i'm not talking about simple love. He will put his life on the line for me. He will go to war for me. Don't take the simple things i wrote and run with it. What works for us, is for us. What and how you chose to do in your marriage/relationship if you're in one, that's on you. Oh I/We good over here trust me. I'm this way because it's in me and i love being who i am. I'm all woman and could never label myself as a man. My HUSBAND of 18 yrs all man and handle his business like a man suppose to
@@DiamondK504 you are stay at home mom or are u working way less than him? I am only asking because if u are, then it makes sense that u want to take care of the house and the bills but if u are working as much as him and on top of that u are the only one running the household then is unfair. Anyway, whatever works for you if u are happy in your marriage that thats all that matters.
@@emabella1000 No I'm not a stay at home mom. My son is 24 and I don't work as much as him. I enjoy doing what I do. As for as the bills. I pay the bills with the money he brings in. He maintains the outside of our home and I maintain the inside of our home
Dear Jesus, I know all men are different, I know all men require different things in their relationship. God I know I have the fruit of the spirit within me, I know I have great attributes that I can give, I know I’m a loving , fun, and caring woman therefore I ask that you to let the Man for me Find Me in your Season(I pray it this year Lord 😂🙏🏽) Let me be Everything he has Prayed for and Some. Let me be what he needs and what he wants. Let me be More Than Enough in ALL things for my Future Husband, Amen 🙏🏽
It will happen - Mekia1975! Lol Ladies, Fellas - Give each other the Gift of Missing one another… by giving each other space, and make sure you have things going on independently of one another… and when you finally get together - cook each other’s favorite food every once in a while to keep things interesting… Any, that’s my two cents. -Carlos Verde - Dating Tips
@@carlosverde-datingtips7001 Hey there. Thank you for your two cents 😂 , it’s appreciated. But yes I’m a firm believer in space. It’s very necessary for adults to do that even when your really into each other every one needs that personal time. As far as cooking 🧑🏽🍳 I’m a chef just not by profession. But my man/husband will definitely be eating good all the time, I also bake as well so hummmmm definitely balance when it comes to the sweets 🍫 😂. And if he is into cocktails 🍹 I make the bomb drinks to sip and chat 💬 while enjoying each other. So yea I’m a pretty well rounded gal I’m proud to say and he will definitely be a blessed man. I can say that whole heartily . I’m just patiently waiting on God but I’m definitely in position.🙏🏽✝️❤️
Love this video!! 👏I’m sharing it and going to watch it again when I can take notes.. I’m guilty of some things and I want to improve in my next adventure . relationships would be sooo much better if EACH of us would follow this! ❤️
Physical intimacy, senses of humour Make him become hero.Tell him what is on your mind.Respect him what he wants from you. Eye contact. Thank so much for sharing this video I love it.❤️
Soooo glad my husband LOVED to cook. I HATE TO COOK!!!! I'd rather wash and detail my car than cook!!!! It's a chore, like laundry, cleaning, etc. I have plenty of time to cook, since I'm widowed; I hate cooking so much that I do meal prep once week with enough to last for entire week.....
u can always make a part 2👀👌🏾on this topic so u can have enough time🤔. THANK YOU "SSSOOOOOO MUCH" for keepin your word ON ASSISTING US MARRIED FOLK with all the awesome advice, guidance, different perception and experience you have to share 🥂. THANK YOU STEPHAN👍🏽it's truly appreciated. god bless u✌🏾.
❤ 💪 Certainly affirmative, although I could think of a couple of things that you left out that you guys truly appreciate and secretly want, yep! Nice pointers 💯
This is great advice. I was telling my friend that I love how well rounded your advice is. It's not flat out my way is the highway advice. Your advice comes with caveats and geniune wholeness. I love also that you are real about who you are and do not pretend to be perfect. Kudos. :)
Allowing men to lead means they are capable of leadership. Not every person is a leader. So its important you partner with someone you are confident with leading.
Hi Stephan ~ I just wanted to say You are awesome ~ I watch your videos & they have helped me improve my relationship with my fiance . THANK YOU SO MUCH 🥰🙌🏽🙏🏽
The part where you say men need some space, I remember hearing a clip of guy who once said "men like being alone, but not by themselves" I guess now it makes sense 😂
I tried my best to give my last boyfriend everything he asked for and demanded. I really just wanted to spend positive time with him. I was always careful to encourage him and let him know it made me happy when he was happy. My one ongoing complaint was about his mood/temper. He gave me the silent treatment and a nasty temper every few days. Despite the high cost I paid to be in this relationship, he still had complaints. My complaint was his constant complaining.
Most men I met were more complicated than me 🤣 they aren't only simple I agree haha this is really helpful and wise, as always, such a good approach xx
❤️ Get your copy of "How To Get A Man To Cherish You..." here 👉 www.becherishedbyhim.com 👈
Thank you Thank you thank you. I am a reader but usually share books..... I am buying this one for ME. great delivery
I really appreciate how you keep it real so many valid points. To God 🙏 be the glory.
So true
God bless you brother!
What is an honest mistake?
I was married for 20 yrs. I did all these things and it increasingly got worse. I pray everyone has a healthy relationship where your efforts are appreciated. Many people take everything for granted and become overly critical as the decades pass. Staying curious and intentionally interested are necessary. Familiarity breeds contempt. You MUST choose each other daily. God bless your marriages. Keep God in the center and you will flourish 🙏🏽💕
Very sorry to hear this. Your words are strong so I know you are healing.
I would love to hear his side...
You can never do enough for the wrong person
😧👏👏👏👏👏👏👏Yes!
I’m sorry to hear. One thing to bear in mind is that no matter how good you are; you will never be enough for the wrong person
#2 is something my grandfather taught us. "You had a life before meeting him and vice versa. Allow him to miss you."
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback.
That's a hole book, short and
to the point!!!!
@@MeetStephanSpeaks Stephan, can you talk more about how a Christian woman can find a Christian man? I have found that the churches I've attended and visited have a huge shortage of single men!
My man can't get enough of me 😂
@@laurenholly1849 You have to trust God because He is the perfect match maker. The Bible says that the desire of the righteous will be granted and once you delight yourself in Him, He will give you the desire of your heart. Stephan can't help in that area.. he is not even a Christian himself
3# is not about "giving" space, it is actually about "respecting" people's space, regardless of the gender, we all need it at some point, the time with ourselves is essential for recharging and for better adapting to the environment and to the relationship 🥰
Thank you for sharing your thoughts I appreciate your feedback!
This is so true. At least, I'm like that. People act like it's only men. Are women maybe smothering men, if they think it's so strange to need space? I get to feeling crowded or something at times & just need a few days to focus on myself or whatever. It's not a big deal. "Space" isn't ghosting or disappearing w/o a phone call for 2 weeks. That's something else. That's not "needing space."
That makes sense! I didn’t understand what he meant by “give him space”
So the wife also works all day, picks up the kids, makes dinner…he walks in and wants “a breather”?!?! WTF- when does the wife get a breather? AND you want my exhausted ass to initiate sex!! NOPE!! And I was married for 30 years!
@@leahel-amin4454 and is there a point where she would want a "breather" as well? You want to go from work, to kids, to the kitchen, to your man. Plenty of women want their space too
These things should not be a secret. Men need to stop thinking women are mind readers...and vice versa...and TALK. Tell each other what you want, what you need. A closed mouth don't get fed...ijs
Indeed, it really helps when we embrace that, thank you for sharing!
True
The fact that he dosen't give sincere response and just auto responds makes me lose interest in what he's saying
@@thelmathomas8414 I still love his content but I do hate the auto responses 👎🏽
People don't always know what they want, or don't want to say what they want.
Please watch & Like video! many points he hits for each!🙏🏼
1. COOKING :::(cater to your partner's desire)
2. MAINTAIN (balanced) INDEPENDENCE :::(understanding the balance you need to strike)
3. SPACE :::(it's not personal, awareness of when man needs "a breather" or time alone)
4. INITIATING SEX :::(instances where sex is already being had, honesty, spontaneity)
5. SENSITIVE TO HIS FEELINGS :::(Timing)
6. LET HIM LEAD
7. KEEP LOOKING GOOD FOR HIM :::(be willing, it shows that you care)
8. APPRECIATE HIM :::(Acknowledge his value show gratitude)
9. NOT MAGNIFY HIS MISTAKES :::(keep things in perspective)
This is precisely almost everything we as men wants well said!
A woman can give everything to a man but it's never a guaranteed that his heart will open up or he will stick around.
@@soundoff85then why don't you men marry the ride or dye women you all string along for years?
Women will do alot of services and pay your way and birth your children only for you men to walk away.
Did all of that and still was criticized all the time. Guess it wasnt my match 😅
Thanks for your time to tmtezt this all down ❤
#2 is why it's important to learn to be single and happy already before moving forward in a relationship. I'm soo content as a single woman, it scares me sometimes. I want a husband but he has to have a life outside of the relationship.
Indeed, it really helps when we embrace that thank you for sharing I appreciate your feedback!
@@MeetStephanSpeaks I really love how respectful you are. Bless you!!
Same I think I’m getting wayyyyy too comfortable here😂😂
This is soooooo me… it’s scary
@@Gdenise and Demonica Banks remember the bible says everyone is not meant to be married. If you are ok with being single it is nothing wrong with that. Don't get in a relationship or get married, because society is telling you that what you should do. The bible actually says you can have a more fulfilling life if you aren't. I am on my second marriage and really, really contemplated, if I would do it again. He was the one pushing it, because I would of been ok with companionship every other weekend! LOL And no momma not no H! LOL
I love when Stephan cracks up after something straight up. It puts a 😁 big smile on my face
Glad to hear that, thank you for your response!
Me tooooooo.
It's so adorable!
It’s very adorable, I subscribed just for that plus the content of course. 😆
I know right….his giggles are so contagious!!😃
Providing space for him has not been an issue for me especially since I want space myself.
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback.
Same here. I love my space & we've been together 30 years, since high school. I truly feel giving each other space is a huge reason why. It helps to keep from growing tired of each other.
WORDS OF WISDOM:
The Value of Knowing God according to God's Written Word Proverbs 4:23 Keep thy heart with all diligence; For out of it are the issues of life.
God's Word will guard your eyes, ears, and mouth and will guard your life.
Psalms 46:10 Be still and know I am God. The Hebrew word STILL means Submit and Trust. Let Go and Release
GOD'S GRACE IS THE ANSWER TO EVERY FALLING THING IN THIS WORLD!
WORD OF WISDOM:
FAITH grants access to GOD in our lives. FEAR grants access to Satan in our lives. Now you choose.
You said sex is like cooking. That is so true, both are requested at a time when I am tired and don't feel like it.
Lmao 🤣 that is hilarious!
@@KP_FruitsoftheSpirit Let him tell it... he can't!
Lol
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Hot Topic,
You're right! You had me laughing so much 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Btw, you made a mistake and wrote tried instead of TIRED 🤣
I've realized that I didn't want to do many of these things mentioned here with my ex, because I didn't feel his masculine energy was strong enough to awake my femenine energy. Many men want this things in a woman, but they have to realize that in order to receive a femenine woman, they need to be masculine first. Otherwise, we won't feel comfortable enough.
On the other hand, I have just met who will be my future husband and I genuiely want to do this things for him without him even asking for them, because he's masculine and I truly feel protected, therefore I want to make the greatest of my efforts to make him happy.
I think your problem is communication, ask him what he wants and tell him what you want, stop listening to all these social media generalization, each individual has his/her own desires.
@@meancombat877 And I think your problem is assuming others people's problems. I don't know what you're even talking about.
I think ppl don't want to hear that a woman only wants to deliver for the man she really fits with. I know many men. I have only met two who I've WANTED to cook for. 👍🏾
@@MsSnu Ikr. I love so much my husband that I cook daily for him, but he's protective, masculine and a provider, I didn't want to give my femenine attributes to men that acted like a child and only saw me as a second mother.
This is so true for men who aren’t masculine I had no desire to any of these things.
If a man's mother is a good cook, don't feel awkward to ask her to help you with his favourite foods! I am British, but my partner is from the US South. I went out of my way to learn how to fry chicken, make cornbread, a good bowl of chilli .... And it took a few attempts with his honest feedback to make it GOOD! I actually love cooking for him and fussing over him this way.
Thank you for sharing your experience! Hopefully, it will help others learn from it. I appreciate that ❤️
Thank you 😊
I need that cornbread recipe please😁. (and if corn meal is more like corn flour or corn polenta...hard to get the right ingredients outside of the states)
That’s so sweet! I love it, God bless you! 💖
My MIL took me into the kitchen 2 wks before my late husband & I got married. I appreciated her for doing this & I expect myself to do the same for my future in laws
Space for each other just reminds me of the quote "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" and now I realize it means to give each other healthy space and not to play hard to get.
SPACE TO ME IS GO IN THE MAN CAVE NOT OUT THE HOME
@@redlove2266 but sometimes going out the home is necessary depending on how the home is. I take a walk every other day when I get off work. My husband knows this is my me time n I need it to decompress from work. It's too hard to this in our home because as soon as I come home my kids will bombard me n I need that lil bit of space to clear my mind
Agreed!
@@redlove2266kids don’t always respect boundaries
haha i love it when you laugh and be light hearted. that energy is so contagious. im laughing throughout the video
Glad to hear that, thank you for your response!
Love
Love
Love the delivery
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her,” Ephesians 5:25
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback.
🙄
Very nice Christian!
Give each other the Gift of Missing one another…
by giving each other space, and make sure you have things going on independently of one another…
and when you finally get together - cook each other’s favorite food every once in a while to keep things interesting…
Any, that’s my two cents.
-Carlos Verde - Dating Tips
Would be nice if more men felt this way.
Yes that us truth & God word never change
The bottom line is to be honest with each other and get to know each other's needs and preferences in everything, and be open to these differences, realizing that it is not about one preference being better than another, just different, and every couple is individual and different from others. When both people are trying to please the other in all honesty and openness, problems are easily dealt with.
Indeed, it really helps when we embrace being honest with each other. Thank you for sharing ❤
Exactly, they should just know that relationship isn't one sided. Communicate.
i love to cook for my men, but not because i am a woman, because i love him, but i expect the same from him too. i work too. and when i came home I want him to cook for me too!! that is marriage. you take care for each other.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts I appreciate your feedback!
I AGREEMENT 💯
Agreed 💯💯
I love when he says” I just have to say this because it’s hitting my spirit “
I love love love this! Being previously married, I can attest that each of these points are very necessary. And I just knew cooking was in there somewhere! 😂 I LOVE feeding what’s mine!!
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate that ❤️
I love you! we need more men like you in this world! ❤!
I recognize all the aspects you mention. And I can truly say I apply every one of them in my relationship. I see how happy it makes him when I give him the credits, validation, space, love, cater on him etc. He needs it and it makes him feel like a real man. And it all comes natural for me because I do it out of love for him and I know how happy it makes him. I had to get used to the leading part tho, just like you said. Afraid to give up control but it worked out just fine. It was something I had to overcome and it had to do with me trusting him completely. And you know what: I love the fact that he leads now because I don't have to worry about certain things and it makes him feel like a real man. It feels natural now and he leads me in the perfect way. I hate the negative sound of it tho...
Submit to a RIGHTOUS man. Not just any man.
@@deshunallen8486 to me he’s the right man and the love of my life❤️
I did the same thing and ended up being neglected and taken for granted. You can't be giving and loving with a narcissist.
I have been learning so much from your teachings, but one thing that stands out most to me is your honor towards waiting until marriage for sex. Thank you so much for encouraging this. It is absolutely commendable and I believe that sex is a gift that God upholds for us to especially enjoy under His covenant.
Thank you for sharing the wisdom that God pours into you. It is very much appreciated.
*The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.*
😂❤🥂🫦🥵. Yes!!!!
Thank you for speaking to both genders equally and finding the right balance to reach, teach & make us aware about one another.
My pleasure ❤
Btw, 5 years without a home cooked meal is sad on so many levels.
💯
Makes sense. I agree. But men should learn how to cook Emeril and Wolfgang Puck are chefs!
I could not imagine that! I cook every other day because I meal prep 🤦🏽♀️
Why didn't he cook or show her how to cook his favourite meal?
Yeah cause he should have led by example and cooked some meals and asked her to cook with him.
Keyword: Balance. We Have To Learn How To Strike A Good Balance In Relationships, This Reminds Me Of The Phrase Everything In Moderation. Not Too Much Independence And Not Too Little Of It Either! 👍
You're absolutely right , thank you for sharing ❤
The point about having your own life and allowing him to miss you also needs to be explained to men when it comes to desire. Some men won’t leave their woman alone long enough for her to initiate anything and it can kill her desire.
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate that ❤️
Yes, sports time is off limits. Bring him snacks and drinks and leave or enjoy the game with him. He will reward you later 😊
You're absolutely right!
I watch sports so this pertains to me. bring me snacks and or leave and enjoy the game with me. It goes both ways.
@@falisha1979 exactly. Me too!
Exactly 💯💯💯💯
Just wanted to say I've watch a ton of your videos (usually in the background while I'm doing chores lol) and you're like the big wiser older brother I never had, you talk so much common sense and it has definitely helped me apply it to my own relationships. Thanks!
Glad you find them helpful ❤ don't forget to share so that others can receive love and healing
Your point on leadership thoroughly explains one of the struggles I had in my failed marriage. I like how you've explained it and the lesson I've talken from it is that, it is very important for a woman to CHOOSE a man that she can TRUST to LEAD her effectively. Thank you Stephan 👏🏾☺
I trust my husband...I don't require being led. I hate how we treat women like children...not quite mature enough to make decisions or lead herself at times.
As always you are on point. These 9 things that men want are so true. As I listen to the 9 things, I thought about my marriage (divorced now) & it trigger some things that I did wrong & him too. Thank you for the detail video. You are doing amazing job for everyone. God got you!!
Your point of view is so refreshing.
You are one of a kind, Stephan ❤️🙌
Thank you very much I'm happy to hear that 🙌
Letting him lead and believing in him. It will be of a better benefit to both the Lady and guy while he leads. Ladies, keep looking good for your man.
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate that!
Thank you Stephan🤗
How can I let a man lead me if I'm the one responsible for all the finances? This is not possible.. right?
The more I listen to you stand on and affirm what it takes for a relationship to be healthy, successful, and forever, the more I respect and admire you as a coach, as well as a person…I don’t believe they’re separate. You appear very passionate and sincere with your heart for God, and insightful advice…then there’s that contagious belly laughter! Thank you for “walkin’ the walk” when waaaayyy too many (on this platform) are just “talkin’ the talk.” You’re a true example and the genuine article.
Thank you very much, I appreciate that!
I fell upon your site one night and been on it every night. I've been married for 28 yrs and only had one man which was my husband. I became a widow in 2020. I'm so out of touch with dating and reacting to men. But found out that most of the quality you speak about women to have I already have them and find that men find me different. I'm kinda old school where you meet people and date, now it online meeting and boy do these guys have games with them. So thanks for your tapes and talk it really helps me. I appreciate you.
I'm happy the videos have been helpful to you, don't forget to share so that others can receive love and healing ❤ 🙏
I’m so sorry about you losing your partner. So true. I think I have a lot of these things too but I’ve struggled to find someone with the same values as me. I’m pretty old school too but my independence & speak-my-mind energy puts people off I think. It’s hard for me because I enjoy spoiling my partner when in a relationship. Most people don’t think much of these points these days. I find that relationships have become disposable. It’s such a shame because I think marriage is such a sacred & beautiful union 💖 Take your time, there will be someone for you too. God bless you 💖 lots of love
#2 I just learned how important our own space is. I am enjoying time with my girlfriends. Now I know what space is for a man. It’s really no different in women. Respect each other and watch a relationship grow. Thank you.
Your information is always on point. You have helped me tremendously on my dating journey. I am a separated woman and I find that everything you say is so true. One thing that has helped me the most is to pray before jumping to conclusions. Also realizing men do have feelings too is very important.
I love cooking for my man . He appreciates it so much . Tbh he’s the better cook but he love for me to cook for him 😂🥰
Glad to hear that, thank you for your response!
In Ephesians it says to love and forgive. It also says to make sure what we say is edifying only. That has been on my heart alot. But we also need to love ourselves and make sure our thoughts about ourselves are edifying and we forgive ourselves. I find that many of my past reactions have come out of my own shame or guilt or criticism of myself. Also I had to learn to trust God's love enough to trust the people God was asking me to trust.
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate that!
AMEN! SO TRULY RIGHT! GREAT INSPIRING AMAZING STRONG POWERFUL POSITIVE WORDS OF WISDOM! GOD BLESS US ALL ! GOD LOVES US ALL ! SELF LOVE! BELOVED! LET YR LIGHT 4EVER SHINE BRIGHT! SMILE ALWAYS!( EVEN IN STORMS THAT U GO THRU!) HOLD ON TO GOD ALWAYS! GOD IS ALWAYS WITH US! PRAY OFTEN AND DAILY TO GOD ALWAYS! GOD IS OUR EVERYTHING! GOD CAN HANDLE ANYTHING! GOD HAS US COVERED! GOD IS WORKIN IT OUT! ON HIS GOD GIVEN RIGHT TIME! GLORY TO GOD ALMIGHTY ! TELL THE LORD THANK U FOR THIS BLESSED TODAY! AND FOR EVERYONE IN YR LIFE RIGHT NOW AND ALWAYS! BE GRATEFUL AND THANKFUL FOR ALL THINGS! AND FOR EVERYONE IN YR LIFE RIGHT NOW AND ALWAYS! GOD WILL SEE US THRU ALL THINGS IN YR LIFE RIGHT NOW AND ALWAYS! GOD WILL NEVER LEAVE U NOR FORSAKE U! PEACE AND HARMONY TO EVERYONE IN THE WORLD RIGHT NOW! YES INDEED! ENOUGH SAID! THATS IT! OCT2021
So true! Thanks for sharing.
A chef met a chef - win win.. Oh, and we're both good in the kitchen. ♡
Glad to hear that, thank you for your response!
@@MeetStephanSpeaks - Absolutely. Thank you as well🖒🏾
One of you or both come to my kitchen
@@fayecoleman9384 - LMAO. I love you.
@Jan J
Praying for that as well for my future. Thank you for sharing.
I recognized he needed space last night. His mom is going thru cancer, the distance adds extra stress however, he showers me w attention daily, so it was difficult for me to not get in my head, but I reminded myself how, when I recently needed to be left alone, he asked if I needed anything and told me to call or text him when ready. My ex of 18 yrs had a very stressful career, I allowed him half an hour after work to unwind on the patio etc, had a cold beer open/waiting for him. He didn't appreciate it.
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate that!
#7 @30:00 Yesss! I dated a guy that I loved his beard, but instead of trimming it, he would shave it off completely. He did not care that I expressed liking his beard. I didn’t break up with him because of this, but I definitely felt what was said in this video.
Now I am dating a guy that takes care of his beard.
I think this is a great list if this is in a healthy relationship in which both partners are getting what they need. As someone that was married for 19 years and now divorced.
It is important to be flexible and understanding that If you have little toddlers at home, or if they just had a new baby some of this items on this list might need to be adjusted for a little bit.
Thank you 🙏🏽❤️
Yes and a good man will understand this. A good man will step in and cook and clean.
Gentlemen, for a lot of women stress is a turn off. Stress can affect many areas for a woman, weight, self care, serial appetite, appreciation etc. Chronic stress can become trauma. Trauma can have unpredictable results. No telling at that point, what the man could become associated with if the woman has become traumatized by chronic stress. With ❤ guys.
Thanks again for the insight.
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback.
Regarding cooking, everyone has different tastes. It may be not that she's not a good cook, but it's not cooked to his preference. If so, he needs to tell her (preferably ahead of time) what his preferences are (low salt, high pepper, meat done thoroughly or not quite done, etc.). As for space, I want space, too, and realize he needs space. But I imagine he's seeing someone else, when I think he's in his man cave. So I hang back and give him space, but I worry and imagine all sorts of things while I do that.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts I appreciate your feedback!
Understand what you are saying but I have friends who think they just don't need to cook or learn to cook because cooking doesn't make the relationship! 😅😅 Let's just say, ain't working for either of them! As a matter of fact, they all eating out together most of the time LOL While I was raised to cook and love doing it, have a good relationship! And like you said, we talk about tastes because we're from different cultural backgrounds so I make sure I adjust some meals.
A day off or 2 weeks. More than a day is ghosting. Or am I tripping!
@@DivaRacers I have wanted my space for several days before. Not just from a man, but from everything. Time to regroup, get some things done, focus on myself. I think this is quite normal for many people. So I wonder if some women crowd men, wanting or even demanding constant contact, almost daily. That seems to me to be insecure and stifling for another person. Even though we're together, we're still separate people. We all need our alone time at some point. But 2 weeks of "space" by a man? That's a problem. There's something going on there.
It doesn’t hurt a man to say, “common…let’s make…together” that way both can enjoy the dinner! 😉
You would think... at least not the right men
Amen.
I agree totally! Give each other the Gift of Missing one another…
by giving each other space, and make sure you have things going on independently of one another…
and when you finally get together - cook each other’s favorite food every once in a while to keep things interesting…
Anyway, that’s my two cents.
-Carlos Verde - Dating Tips
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate that ❤
or go out and have dinner instead lol..no need to cook in this day and age..there are microwave..sounds like its only men and women that are empty and have nothing to talk about ..apart from thinking about what to cook etc lol..I ll never marry any such man who want a woman to serve him so he can serve her too..lol the new tactic ;;cook me my fav meal and ill cook yours..do this and ill do this..I dont and I dont want you to cook me any favourite meals..I couldnt care less about food..my favourite meal is a biscuit LOL
@@MeetStephanSpeaks No problem - my pleasure!
I have to admit my cooking was good prior to the pandemic. It's since elevated these past 17months. I also took up baking. I now have two binders of recipes.
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback.
Xigt
It is very necessary that women learn to cook/ perhaps not everything/ because the journey is all about learning. My grandma Nelly, RIP, taught me lots of things about cooking. I love cooking!
The topic of maintaining your interdependence to support the relationship versus independence which feels excluding in the relationship is thought provoking, I'm interested in hearing more about this concept 😎
Personal space is not a rejection or abandonment of your mate, It's healthy boundaries to sustain the relationship. Filling your own cup
so that you are able to share yourself with your mate. Think in terms of filling your car with gas so its not running on empty but with your personal energy. Personal space is a necessity in keeping a relationship running smoothly and yet it seems to trigger insecurities instead.
I agree, it makes me think of all the mistakes I have made for decades. Unknowingly.
As a chef, I cooked for my ex and he STILL found things to complain about. Learn from me, if you are with a man who complains about your amazing food, RUN!
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback.
@@MeetStephanSpeaks Cheers.
Stephan you are so hilarious. I love the way how you throw your sense of humor into your videos. You be having me 😄😄😄!!!! I also the way how you keep it 💯!!! I appreciate you real talk. You are my favorite relationship coach!!! I purchase three books already. And I love them. You are the best!!!🤗😍😘
Glad to hear that, thank you for your response!
I can't wait for the longer video on #6, because my husband wants me to trust him as a leader, but any decision he's made in the past has always been detrimental to us. He even said the other day that he always makes bad decisions. So how can you trust someone like that to lead you?
Fake to agree with him. But deep down be alert incase something goes wrong
Since he has admitted to making wrong decisions, I think you are on the way to having a solution. Ask him how he thinks that can be solved. Act as his therapist until the answer comes from him...
Obviously good decision making isn’t his niche. You have a lot to talk about & work through.
@@BrendaBaBoom Yes and it would help if he would TALK 😫🤦🏿♀️. To be honest, my relationship is almost at its end. Stephan always says how can you have a relationship with a man that won't talk. It's damn near impossible.
@@Womenswell022 Great response. I TOLD him how he could make better decisions in the future, I did not ASK him. Let's see if that helps get us any further in this conversation.
I feel that sex is definitely the top priority if not the main for most men. Reason being is that I’ve had exes that are in committed relationships that have contacted me again out of the blue. Often times after talking for a bit and catching up I find out that the sex isn’t great, repetitive, boring, etc with their current relationship. Hence their reason for ultimately contacting me. 🙄
It definitely isn't an easy situation but we need to focus on doing what is truly best 🙏
So, they should be lined up to marry you, or maybe you've declined marriage proposals from all of them. If not, I don't get it. What makes a man marry a woman he is not sexually satisfied with? ...or is it, there are some things he values more than sex? ...or he may just want a different vajayjay after a while?
Why are you even entertaining your exes 😂 They're obviously hitting you up because they know you're easy access.
@@smarielynn8420 ooooo you mad? 😂 i guess your man must have hit up some other woman…
@@bnb0510 Hahaha! Not even close! I'm single 😂😅 But good try tho. You must also be one who's easy access. Lmaooo
In love with this man 😍 so real, so unbiased and all about balance! 🤩
I think love is the key to every healthy relationship, when we truly love someone we are definitely willing to do whatever it takes to make the relationship work as long as it is something legal and something that won't compromise our own principles.
Absolutely!!! Love is the answer.☺️
If love were enough, I wouldn't be divorced. Love cannot stand alone.
Love is not enough, attraction and desire is also needed
I feel #6 Let him Lead! I'm over here like ??? You hit the Nail on the Head! I have been MADE to be the lead and I just want to be in my feminine and allow Him to Lead. It has been my experience that allowing this (in the last 18 yrs)shit doesn't get done at all... UGH!
🙏 I hope he reaches the point of truly doing what is best!
We set the pace. The man sets the tone. Including leading in the relationship or not. Alpha vs Beta. Which are they?
I've been married and then in a long-term relationship. Right now, I'm enjoying being selfish. Some people are just too dayum much work. Relationships require work for sure, but it shouldn't be like a changing puzzle every day. There are a lot of older people who are single by choice. Happy with full lives and no one to clean up after or cook for. I'm good. I still enjoy these videos. They help me to remember why I asked my dude to leave. :-) When I want someone to take care of, I go see my grands. Life is good.
Men are not that simple. They can actually be quite complex creatures. I love this video because a man would know, men tickle me when they become tongue tied.☺
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback
You're so right Sis. They truly are complex and sometimes very hard to please.
I have two daughters 22 and 12. I will definitely buy your books for them and myself as well. I want them to not go through the type of marriage I had.
Relationships have become like games. Your actions do not always determine the expected outcome. These only work if the partner is at committed as you
Thank you for sharing your thoughts I appreciate your feedback!
I am in a new relationship after 2 years. I am viewing your videos to see if I can check off the boxes. Thank you so much for what you do. It is actually needed. 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
I'm happy the videos have been helpful to you and I pray that you heal all that you have been through 🙏
I cook everything from scratch because I like to know what I'm eating and it's healthy, but it's also time consuming and can be expensive. If he is willing to pay for the ingredients, I'll cook for him every meal of every day, no problem 😊
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback.
@@MeetStephanSpeaks ❤🙏
I like that idea - Mary! Lol
Give each other the Gift of Missing one another…
by giving each other space, and make sure you have things going on independently of one another…
and when you finally get together - cook each other’s favorite food every once in a while to keep things interesting…
Any, that’s my two cents.
-Carlos Verde - Dating Tips
@@carlosverde-datingtips7001 I think I'm too independent sometimes 😅😂🤣 I'm working on it though. Love and light!
@@MeetStephanSpeaks you should do a video on weird ways dudes try to market themselves to women, like, it took me a really long time to realize that when my guy would try to "one up" me in conversations, he was actually trying to inadvertently communicate to me and show me that he has some great resources and will be an excellent provider. Sadly, I think this behavior also indicates said man has a hard time expressing his emotions, but like, what man doesn't have a hard time expressing their emotions in today's society 😢🤔
You articulate so well a feeling I've been struggling to put to words and name for a very long time about not feeling loved because my partner is inconsiderate about how the way he goes about doing things without regard to my feelings and what my needs are even if I think his needs are valid and I support that. He comes off as selfish most times
🙏 I hope he reaches the point of truly doing what is best.
I hear you, Stephen, and I wholeheartedly agree. I am a Libra Monkey, also Christian and Southern AR farm girl raised. I have been adapting to men & pleasing men/people since I was born.
Now how about a video for MEN.. on how to PLEASE US! Seriously. Physically & emotionally. I get it, we are entirely more intricate, insatiable creatures. I believe if men put half their drive & testosterone into solve Ig the puzzle of pleasing their women, there would be less violence, wars, better home lives for our children, happy people and political peace. Just sayin! 🙏🏻👌🏻💕
Thank you so much for this! I totally agree with having your own independence, we are individuals first.
Indeed, it really helps when we embrace that.
That’s one of the things I don’t get offended over. If your cooking for your husband , boyfriend you get enjoyment from them enjoying what their eating. I do ask, is it missing something because I want to make sure they are enjoying what they are eating. If it’s lacking something I would adjust for the next time. It’s important for my other half to enjoy what their eating and that applies to many other aspects in the relationship
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate that!
How sweet! 💗 your man is very lucky!
I really want to establish a 24 hour period at least once a month where we can have alone time away from each other and everything.
You got this 🙏
@@MeetStephanSpeaks 7 years ago there was a guy who really wanted me but I never gave him the time of day, fast warding to this year, we started hanging around each other because my two friends are related to him so we were in the same space for a couple of times. I decided to give him a chance two weeks ago. Last night he decided to lie to me to ''protect my feelings'' regarding his baby mama and girlfriend that I found out about and we have been sexual, he says he wants to learn to love me and we was honest about loving his girlfriend. Please advice, I really to like him a lot.
Great video!!! With a lot of well needed answers! Not only being the place of peace in his life, but meeting all his true desires, needs, and wants is very important. Thanks for the a better understanding of what healthy, high quality men want and desire.
Can’t wait for the next video!
Be blessed Stephan🙏🏾💜
Thank you very much I'm happy to hear that 🙌 and may you be blessed as well!
@@MeetStephanSpeaks Thank you ☺️💜
AMEN! SO TRULY RIGHT! GREAT INSPIRING AMAZING STRONG POWERFUL POSITIVE WORDS OF WISDOM! YES INDEED! GOD BLESS US ALL! GOD LOVES US ALL! SELF LOVE! BELOVED! LET YR LIGHT 4EVER SHINE BRIGHT! SMILE ALWAYS!( EVEN IN STORMS THAT U GO THRU!) HOLD ON TO GOD ALWAYS! GOD IS ALWAYS WITH US! PRAY OFTEN AND DAILY TO GOD ALWAYS! GOD IS WORKIN IT OUT! ON HIS GOD GIVEN RIGHT TIME! GLORY TO GOD ALMIGHTY! GOD WILL SEE US THRU ALL THINGS IN YR LIFE RIGHT NOW AND ALWAYS! GOD WILL NEVER LEAVE U NOR FORSAKE U! GOD IS OUR EVERYTHING! GOD CAN HANDLE ANYTHING! GOD HAS US COVERED! TELL THE LORD THANK U FOR THIS BLESSED TODAY! AND FOR EVERYONE IN YR LIFE RIGHT NOW AND ALWAYS! BE GRATEFUL AND THANKFUL FOR ALL THINGS! AND FOR EVERYONE IN YR LIFE RIGHT NOW AND ALWAYS! GOD WILL SEE US THRU ALL THINGS IN YR LIFE RIGHT NOW AND ALWAYS! GOD WILL NEVER LEAVE U NOR FORSAKE U! PEACE AND HARMONY TO EVERYONE IN THE WORLD RIGH! YES INDEED ! ENOUGH SAID! THATS IT! OCT 2021
I would say a big way to avoid attacking or being too focused on your own feelings when you have a problem or something serious you want to talk about is don't jump into the conversation you want to have with him. I will take days to a week or two to analyze the situation from my perspective, his possible perspective, I'll do research to see why this could be happening or how a man could feel or why a man could be doing XYZ (whatever the situation is) before I even bring it up.
If I have a problem or situation that I want to talk about with him and I just jump into it I'm going to be talking about my emotions because I've spent no time actually figuring out what the problem is. Taking time to think before you speak goes a long way because once you've thought, put some time between the situation (don't take weeks or months to speak on it though so you're not "bringing up the past") you're less likely to be as triggered into a confrontation.
Example:
Say you and your partner haven't had sex or consistent sex in a while (how ever long too long is for you). You would want to bring this up BUT you should consider your lives at that point. Is he stressed or taking on a lot at work? Do you have kids? Are both of you in good health? Does he seem depressed? Is there an interest he or you. Oth have that has been taking up more of your time? What outside factors could be causing the change? Consider all these things and others before you talk to him.
Once you've considered these things the conversation should be gentle and kind. Don't accuse him of stuff you have no proof that he's done. Don't talk down to him and compare him to anyone. Bringing it up might be the first time he's really thought about it and he may be embarrassing to him. If he is stressed, depressed, or too busy and tired during the day he may want to please you but hasn't had the mental or physical energy. It's hard to think that a man wouldn't want to have sex because we're so use to think men are hyper sexual machines but there can be times where he just can't so it's best to think about the situation first, try to figure out what could be going on through his point of view, find a gentle and kind way to bring it up and don't make it all about your emotions. Yes, you should voice how you feel but you need to be calm and open to hear what's going on with him too. Men have emotions too and go through stuff just like we do and they may handle things differently than we would so you have to consider that. You may both feel the same way but have different ways of handling it ❤
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate that!
These are the 9 things women should be bringing to the table . Nicely done . Thank you for the heads up 👍🏽
This is good as long as there is a foundation of a genuine connection. If that is lacking this is not sustainable.
You're absolutely right!
I think you are correct, my daughter and my son-in-law do the giving each other a day for themselves. It is a giving because if not agreed upon it would cause dissension. When you have children it is absolutely about giving each other time alone and space.
Don’t take for granted. Wanting to and choosing to do all these things for one another is what love is. Like, the actual definition. 😎
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback.
Just here to say you are incredible. And I am so sucked in.. it’s bad lmao I’ve been watching your videos non stop for the past 3 hours. But it’s all such good information I can’t stop 😭 I’m learning so much! And finding so many things I can improve on, but in an uplifting way. These videos are getting me excited to work on and better myself. Thankyou 🤍 just bought your book also, I hope it gives more insight into “feminine energy”
Glad to hear that, thank you for your response!
Thanks for sharing and even reminding us women what's important in a marriage/relationship. I have spoiled my husband. It's to the point, he work and come home to everything done and taken care of. He don't know how much our bills are. Whatever problems that may come our way. I have already dealt with it. I do talk to him about what happen or going on. I have always been this way. I don't really bother him with things, but I do let him know about things. He work 6 days a week and take care of the outside of the house. I don't bother him on his one day off. That's his relax day and I even use that day to relax after I cook. I love my space. I definitely initiate sex, rather he in the shower or bed. I'm not a perfect wife, but I'm a damn good wife. We appreciate each other
This sounds like a sad marriage...like you married to yourself hun. You the wife and the husband. What does he DO FOR YOU
@@FleurRebelle No you sound bitter. Trust me he do a lot for me. It's harder for a man to Love you then a woman to be submissive. When i say love, i'm not talking about simple love. He will put his life on the line for me. He will go to war for me. Don't take the simple things i wrote and run with it. What works for us, is for us. What and how you chose to do in your marriage/relationship if you're in one, that's on you. Oh I/We good over here trust me. I'm this way because it's in me and i love being who i am. I'm all woman and could never label myself as a man. My HUSBAND of 18 yrs all man and handle his business like a man suppose to
@@DiamondK504 amen 🙌🏿
@@DiamondK504 you are stay at home mom or are u working way less than him? I am only asking because if u are, then it makes sense that u want to take care of the house and the bills but if u are working as much as him and on top of that u are the only one running the household then is unfair. Anyway, whatever works for you if u are happy in your marriage that thats all that matters.
@@emabella1000 No I'm not a stay at home mom. My son is 24 and I don't work as much as him. I enjoy doing what I do. As for as the bills. I pay the bills with the money he brings in. He maintains the outside of our home and I maintain the inside of our home
You killin me lol I love how you explain everything without being judgemental
❤ 🙂 Thank you!
Dear Jesus, I know all men are different, I know all men require different things in their relationship. God I know I have the fruit of the spirit within me, I know I have great attributes that I can give, I know I’m a loving , fun, and caring woman therefore I ask that you to let the Man for me Find Me in your Season(I pray it this year Lord 😂🙏🏽) Let me be Everything he has Prayed for and Some. Let me be what he needs and what he wants. Let me be More Than Enough in ALL things for my Future Husband, Amen 🙏🏽
Amen 🙏
Lol... 😂😂😂 cute....I pray its this year too for you 👍😁
@@beefaye6861 Thank You 😊 🙏🏽
It will happen - Mekia1975! Lol
Ladies, Fellas - Give each other the Gift of Missing one another…
by giving each other space, and make sure you have things going on independently of one another…
and when you finally get together - cook each other’s favorite food every once in a while to keep things interesting…
Any, that’s my two cents.
-Carlos Verde - Dating Tips
@@carlosverde-datingtips7001 Hey there. Thank you for your two cents 😂 , it’s appreciated. But yes I’m a firm believer in space. It’s very necessary for adults to do that even when your really into each other every one needs that personal time. As far as cooking 🧑🏽🍳 I’m a chef just not by profession. But my man/husband will definitely be eating good all the time, I also bake as well so hummmmm definitely balance when it comes to the sweets 🍫 😂. And if he is into cocktails 🍹 I make the bomb drinks to sip and chat 💬 while enjoying each other. So yea I’m a pretty well rounded gal I’m proud to say and he will definitely be a blessed man. I can say that whole heartily . I’m just patiently waiting on God but I’m definitely in position.🙏🏽✝️❤️
Love this video!! 👏I’m sharing it and going to watch it again when I can take notes.. I’m guilty of some things and I want to improve in my next adventure . relationships would be sooo much better if EACH of us would follow this! ❤️
I know GOD is up to something! I needed this! Again you are spot on. Thank you for helping me grow and mature even more! GOD BLESS YOUR HEART!🙏🏽❤️
Physical intimacy, senses of humour
Make him become hero.Tell him what is on your mind.Respect him what he wants from you. Eye contact. Thank so much for sharing this video I love it.❤️
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback.
@@MeetStephanSpeaks you welcome ❤️😊
Soooo glad my husband LOVED to cook. I HATE TO COOK!!!! I'd rather wash and detail my car than cook!!!! It's a chore, like laundry, cleaning, etc. I have plenty of time to cook, since I'm widowed; I hate cooking so much that I do meal prep once week with enough to last for entire week.....
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback ❤️ 🙏
I had to watch this again! Great video!
Thank you, Stephan! Blessings sent your way!❤️
Compassionate women know how to please their men!💯
❤️ 🙂 Thank you for watching once again. I appreciate your feedback!
Thank you for such eye- opening talks . Becoming more & more open-minded. Thanks again ☺Appreciated ❤
I'm happy this has been helpful to you, be sure to share so that others can receive love and healing!
u can always make a part 2👀👌🏾on this topic so u can have enough time🤔. THANK YOU "SSSOOOOOO MUCH" for keepin your word ON ASSISTING US MARRIED FOLK with all the awesome advice, guidance, different perception and experience you have to share 🥂. THANK YOU STEPHAN👍🏽it's truly appreciated. god bless u✌🏾.
Lol!! I love Stephan constantly encouraging us to wait til marriage 😂😂 No one is doing that! We're not getting married at 14 anymore! 😂
❤ 💪 Certainly affirmative, although I could think of a couple of things that you left out that you guys truly appreciate and secretly want, yep! Nice pointers 💯
This is great advice. I was telling my friend that I love how well rounded your advice is. It's not flat out my way is the highway advice. Your advice comes with caveats and geniune wholeness. I love also that you are real about who you are and do not pretend to be perfect. Kudos. :)
Thank you so much Stephan for teaching me! I’m applying it to my life right now!
BLESSINGS COMING YOUR WAY! THANK YOU, JESUS IN ADVANCE!🙌🏽❤️
❤ 🙏
Allowing men to lead means they are capable of leadership. Not every person is a leader. So its important you partner with someone you are confident with leading.
Hi Stephan ~ I just wanted to say You are awesome ~ I watch your videos & they have helped me improve my relationship with my fiance . THANK YOU SO MUCH 🥰🙌🏽🙏🏽
Glad to hear that, thank you for your response!
The part where you say men need some space, I remember hearing a clip of guy who once said "men like being alone, but not by themselves" I guess now it makes sense 😂
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback.
I thought I was knocking it out of the park and doing awesome until you got to number 9! 😬Thanks for the good advice!
My pleasure ❤️
His wife also didn’t get a minute to breath with a full time career, kids, housework, and more! It’s not an excuse for the husband to rage neither.
Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate hearing from you ❤️
OMG that space is crucial for me. I don’t like ANYONE around me all of the time. It does become annoying no matter how much I love them.
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback.
The way to a man's Heart is his Stomach😆✌️Nice One Stephan 👌👏👏Much Love ♥️🙏
❤ 🙂 Thank you I appreciate your feedback!
I tried my best to give my last boyfriend everything he asked for and demanded. I really just wanted to spend positive time with him. I was always careful to encourage him and let him know it made me happy when he was happy. My one ongoing complaint was about his mood/temper. He gave me the silent treatment and a nasty temper every few days. Despite the high cost I paid to be in this relationship, he still had complaints. My complaint was his constant complaining.
❤️ 🙂 Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback and pray that you heal from all that you have been through 🙏
I totally understand number three from my Dad’s perspective/seeing it!💯
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate that!
A good list, but I'll just add, everyone has his/her individual and personal Desires. Communication is key.
Feels like I'm the first here for once, so let's dig into these food for the soul, thank you Stephan
My pleasure ❤
Most men I met were more complicated than me 🤣 they aren't only simple I agree haha this is really helpful and wise, as always, such a good approach xx
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback.