Can you please do a video about getting over a man that you are pregnant by or have a child with. I’m pregnant by someone I’m having a hard time getting along with consistently. I’m trying to get over him.
" You can be an amazing woman yet he might not be designed to even see your value". Great point right there 💯💯💯💯💯🕊️🕊️🕊️🕊️ Ladies let's set ourselves free 🙏🙏🙏
@@MeetStephanSpeaks I was just an option after over 14 years. That doesn't sound like much but you have to take into consideration that we each had 3 previous marriages each and lived with one another longer than we ever lived with our spouses with whom we had our children, 9 between us and only 3 we're grown when we got together. My youngest was 3 and he was like his dad because he didn't know his biological dad but he left us in Thanksgiving 2020 behind our back. I say we because it devastated me and hurt my(thought "our") son. I mean he, himself was not raised by his biological dad either. We neither one were living for the Lord when we started living with each other. We made it through him losing our home & everything materialistic in a house fire in 2015 and him having a massive heart attack which required triple bypass open heart surgery only 9 months later in April of 2016. I stayed with him during his entire hospital stay and even lost my job for doing so....... But 4 yrs & 7 months later he left out of the blue when I was going through a very difficult time We did see one another & even went to couples therapy for a while, he paid for my divorce from my estranged husband so we could be married but he just strung me along for over a year after he left I will not lie this has all shattered my world! He went from saying he loved me, wanted to marry me in the eyes of God & saying there was no other woman to telling me to give him 2 more months when I put his feet to the fire and that very night I seen where he was messaging and flirting with and exchanging pictures with a woman who was the 1st girl he ever took out on a date as a teen boy who lived 2 states away I sunk into a terrible depression because we are not even talking to one another now I hold onto the fact that I know I can trust God/Jesus and ultimately want God's will in my life! I could literally write a book but I do still love him and am still hurt badly but I cannot make him want to marry me I just thought we were solid and that we would grow old together!
As a 31 year old mother, I wish I knew these things as a 20 year old inexperienced girl. I blurred the lines between sex, lust and love, and I thought because my now ex was hitting me up, that he was actually interested in me. He was interested in my body and vagina, but not what I had to offer. We had such a toxic, abusive, roller-coaster relationship over 10 years, including bringing a daughter into our mess. All of the signs were there, blaring in my face that he wasn't really interested in me "like that," but I chose to ignore them and was hoping to change him. I was so naive and so desperate for attention, love and affection, and I was not respected, cared for or understood. We are going through a custody battle at the moment. Ladies, please don't ever settle, know your worth, have dignity and follow your intuition if things seem off or inconsistent. If a man really wants YOU and what you have to offer, he will chase you and let it be known that he wants you. A man will never confuse you, play games or only hit you up at nighttime for sex.
36 y o mother here with quite a similar story. We can make up by talking to our daughters about this subject! My mother literally always told me to keep trying to make him happy, even when my relationship became really unsafe. She wasn't there during divorce. I have learned a lot from that; my kids are getting the support they need to build healthy relationships and I will be there when they need it the most. Your post is now from a year ago, I hope you are doing well. ❤
As men and women are out there dating in hopes of meeting that special someone, we are all options in some regard. What is the most devastating and disappointing aspect of dating today, is the lack of honesty. Speak on why men would rather lie, ghost and make up false excuses than speak the truth. Dating has become a world of constant pain, heartbreak and toxicity. If you're not playing those crazy games then you will surely be hurt. If you're not guarded at all times then you will be hurt. Being single is the only way to avoid any of these traumatic experiences in dating now. I'd rather be alone than subject myself to the constant deceptive behaviors I've encountered.
I totally agree! I don’t date anymore.. it took me too long to learn how to love myself enough to enjoy me! And be alone with God. It’s not worth dating anymore..
@@MeetStephanSpeaks Thank you. I am currently in the process of healing. Your videos and book has been part of my journey. Thank you for your honest insight.
@@nicolehobson1510 You're absolutely right! Once you've learned to love yourself everything changes. I always thought dating was fun, until I got my heart and spirit broken 💔 I'll never make that mistake again. My son is off to college and I'm moving closer to the ocean to enjoy my single life. I pray you have an amazing day.
most men just waste most women’s time. Most people know right away if they want to marry them. Sometimes people just aren’t meant for each other or/and the men is just using different women at the same time and that’s when these string along situationships occur
“He wants the option of seeing you without the obligation of being with you”… whew I felt that to the core! U have a gift of verbalizing the uneasy and confusing situations
The heart will fool you, the mind will play tricks on you, the spirit will discern and never lie about the energy-T.D.Smith. when it feels confusing and not right let it go.
Some men all about words no action, ladies take care of yourselves, treat yourself to the nice things in life diamonds, cars, house, ect you work for it, why not,be that independent women, never seek a man's validation he should be the one chasing after you 🙌💯
I was in a “relationship” with my ex for 8 years, and he never came around to see me and I always found women’s clothes and condoms lying around his place. I stupidly believed his outlandish lies because I was afraid of being alone. After some soul searching, I was able to walk away, and one year later I meet a man who is everything I asked for and more. It’s incredible how we can manifest everything we deserve when we leave what is not meant for us.
and if other women would stop compromising, perhaps a few men would change their mindsets and become physically accountable...self respect for all concerned.
Perhaps we woman can and ought change the game. Since males are not serious to be exclusive, we can also hop and date around for free meals. Some guys really ask for it.
Dear Lord, I needed to hear this. I been wanting to leave this man who I’m very interested in. When you’re a conscious women it’s hard to over look someone’s lack of effort. I’m ready to chose my peace and not block my blessings. Thank you for the clarity.. I’m ready to move on.
It’s very hurtful when U know you’re a good woman and a man is not able see your true value. The rejection sucks and yes we may not be a great fit but trying to date in ur 40’s is tedious. I don’t want to settle but who wants to be lonely? No matter how confident I get there’s always that one person who walks away that makes me second guess my worth.
Yo ya abandono cualquier esperanza , voy a cumplir 53 en marzo . Creo que estaré sola el resto de mi vida , bueno con mi perrita . Te deseo suerte eres muy joven.
I have truly enjoy being single for 16 years now. I believe it is easier to be single and I’m 60. I have started to really love myself and I am the happiest I have been in 16 years, since my divorce. 👍🏼
Spot on! A man's words and actions must be in alignment. If his words and actions are inconsistent chances are he is not serious about you and he is double-minded. Another thing I always say is a person makes time and space for what is important to them. If a man cannot make time chances are you are not a priority in his life. Sure he may have a busy schedule, but then when will he have the time and why bother going after a woman if you are too busy? Do not pursue if you cannot be consistent. My time is not to be wasted🙏🏼❤️
@Barbara Canterbury, I admire you. I've been single for years and still have not truly embraced it. I am single by choice, because I refused to put up with my husband's games. But, I still wish to meet an authentic, loving man. I wish I could let that dream go, because it detracts from my own vision of my life as a solo artist.
It was the "set yourself free!", for me. So many people spend so much time trying to be everything to one person. When haven't even fulfilled what they need to be for themselves.
Completely true! And in other cases, they tend to be so focused on looking for who to date that they forget to date themselves. And the reality they mostly failed to learn too early is that, until you are able to date yourself, enjoy your own company, and can tolerate your own demons, you will never, and I repeat, never stand the chance to date someone else properly, love them in the language they understand, tolerate their person, create adjustments for their weaknesses, and learning to accept and adjust to individual differences.
@@WisdomDose this would be akin to accepting the whole person, which should always be the goal. Why date, why love why Marry if you refuse to keep the whole person (or, partner)? People, we make mistakes, we are human and it's our capacity to thoroughly know our whole self--our weakness,our growth and changes, our partner's--weakness, growth and changes, which will only come as a result of being totally honest with ourselves, first. Vetting yourself requires you to be comfortable with your non-negotiables and to be so consistent in character--spiritual, emotional, social, physical, mental aspects, that to betray yourself, is just not an option, it ain't gon happen! Be honest with yourself, it won't make you weak. if you know you don't want a playboy, talk is cheap, so your actions will demonstrate that you won't entertain one! 💔 everyone to personally know ourselves that when someone breaks our boundary, not just our heart, but a boundary, repeatedly, that this change must now be addressed with a choice. Also, people often loose themselves in a relationship, because they accept someone who's not meant for them. They turn and partner with someone who they believe can be improved and changed by their mere tender, love and care, not realizing that an individual has to want to change on his or her own. ❤️🎊❤️🎉
Beloveds, always look at the actions. I was always questioning my position with him until I got tired!!! He can say he will marry me and is in love, but his actions said… You don’t even like me! Thank God I WOKE UP and I have peace ♥️
Wow!! I listened for 24 minutes and learned that I was right to give up on romantic relationships. I can’t get those wasted years back, however I can focus on bettering myself for a better life. 😊
We need to stop putting our selves on clearance. If they cannot afford to be a part of our lives then it’s a “no” for now. Should we discount ourselves? Does this not lower our value? Are we not worth the time and effort? Thanks Stephen for these amazing words of wisdom. ❤️🙏🏽
You're an option because he already has a woman who is NOT optional. You're an option because he thinks he can do better but, wants to keep you as his fall-back in case he can't get the woman (or man, let's be real) he really wants. You're an option because he wants your money and adoration, but that's all. You're an option because he feels entitled to have any woman he can get something from, no matter how much he hurts you. You're an option because it makes him feel powerful to control you with the promise of a relationship he knows you will never have. You're an option because you have mutual friends and he doesn't want to look like an a**h*le for breaking up with you. You're an option because his family already knows and loves you so, now, he's stuck pretending to still be with you. You're an option because you are not enough to make him want to go all-in and treat you with the respect you deserve.
I'm very cautious about being just an option, so I tend to friend zone anyone that displays a romantic interest in anyone other than me. It's never been a bad decision, so far.
It happened to me right now. He gave me soo much attention. He started the conversation, text me n so on ... one day I introduced him to my girl friend. And the next day, he asked her to hang out with him ... I feel so betrayed. Now he doesn't even text me that often n today is the first time he doesn't reply me eventhough I have problem and he knew about it ... Well I am not his priority clearly. As much as I'm hurt. I still want to stay as friends. I know it is not a good idea. But I will take my time and distance my self first. And I will come back when I feel ok ..
@@justfit71 yes it is true. But we still meet in class. So it is kindda hard to avoid each other. I will focus on my self instead. Thank you for your concern, I actually feel that right now.
I just broke up with my boyfriend a couple weeks ago. We been on and off for 3 years. And when you said friend zone, that hit me. I haven't seen him in 3 weeks and it's been almost 2 weeks since I've talked to him. I needed to hear this, thank you.
Thank you. It's so sad the way some women would recognize that they're being treated like an option and still allow these men to continue to treat them like they're worthless. It's better to be alone than to be with a man like that.
There are certain patterns of toxicity that repeat themselves in relationships if it is allowed. If the woman allows herself to be treated as an option and not a priority that will become the foundation of the relationship. If also she pours everything in his cup and he pours little to nothing in her cup that will create an imbalance of lack in the relationship. Ultimately, the woman must decide that the only option is to leave toxicity and find someone who recognizes the value in her & her love.She must also keep her options open to know that settling for a man who undermines her greatness was never a part of God's divine plan for her life. Great points in your video, blessings & light to you.
Flip the script ladies and stop carrying! Live this life unapologetically happy flowing in your feminine energy! See how the atmosphere shift for the good. The ball is in your court and you hold the power as usual...use it wisely!💜 God is so good!
Just ended it with a Man because of his busyness he acted as if he wanted a serious relationship he actions proved otherwise and I took myself out of the equation.
Absolutely ❤️ love this topic Sometimes as single women we have to learn to make ourselves a Priority! And not settling for less ! That way we are at a high Vibration and attract a partner that sees our value and shows it 💯💯💯
FRIEND ZONE: Excellent point. This will always make you an option. As a friend, men feel that they can get the best of both worlds. He can still have full access and loyalty to you while dating others, with no guilt. I have voluntarily stashed myself in the friend zone so than I could weigh my options as well.
Well said Stephan 👏. Had a man who always skirted the discussion of commitment to avoid obligation. Hurt me alot 💔. However, I learned my lesson. When I tried dating another man, we dated 2 months before we parted. I was proud of myself because I set myself as a priority & he admitted he didn't have time. Since I didn't invest intensely, it was easier to walk away & I'm ok, no bitterness. These videos have been such a great lesson because they teach us how to vet & I applied it. Thank you. 😊
A very hurtful thing that happened to me was this man went cold 🥶 and I questioned myself did I do something wrong 😞 and when you have the guts to go up to that man and ask him if he wants to have coffee and those words come back "I'll let you know"..deep down I knew he wasn't going to do anything..I have been healing and cry maybe once a day, but this shall pass. And this video gave me the answer that what I'm doing Is the right desicion..walking away..not mad at him I wish him well but it hurts. Thank you stephan I hope you find a very beautifull lady one day.
I wish I know all this stuff when I first started dating. I was always really shy and reserved so I would just go with the flow. As a result I never got what I wanted out of dating and relationships. The goal is to get everything out on the table. Let them know where you stand and what you want. It will sift out the wheat from the chaff. Thank you Stephan!
A guy I once liked told me my legs were too heavy for him. I took these heavy legs else where and he deeply regretted saying it. I appreciate him for the honesty. I’ll never dim my light nor hide the lusciousness of my heavy legs for any man or woman.
Thank you for this Stephan. I came to this conclusion about a month ago. All your points are what I realized/noticed and I ended everything. He was in love with the idea of me but was/is not ready either spiritually, emotionally, or physically, for the reality of me and what that entails.
All these are what I'm currently dealing with, the longer u deal with these things, the more it gets worse. Thank you, your my motivation to tell my story.
Wish I saw this 2 years ago. I pulled away and was done for 7 months until he needed a date for his birthday. Telling me I am the one but he is not right. So I gave it one more week and then I walked away forever. I got a new number and never called. It’s been 3 months. He was what I called, a time waster! I was looking for someone new when I left the 1st. I found my new person 2 months ago once I go rid of the old trash.
Ughh finally the video I was looking for 🙌🏾. I just went through the whole “nice guy that won’t commit” scenario. I left him because something felt amiss (admittedly he had less free time than other men I dated but still, you too busy or too busy for me??) but then I thought of all the little reassurances he would give when I complained or went quiet and doubted if I’d given up on it too soon. Well I doubled back and told him what was bothering me 😅. If it was all a misunderstanding and my failure to communicate my needs before breaking things off let me know and maybe give it another chance, if not, well my intuition was still batting at 1000%. Ultimately, he couldn’t say it with his chest but he wasn’t ready for me to be his sole focus, so I walked away content that I can always trust my gut. Glad this video appeared though, to just give me further confirmation I made the right moves.
Oh my God! This is my favorite video. You have saved me Stephan. I walked away. I am reading your book, The man God has for you. Dating at a mature age is very difficult . Too much baggage from both. So much fear making us older adults emotionally detached. Do not stop stephan , I am with you! Thank you.
Thank you again, Stephan, for your amazing wisdom and sound advice. It is much better to be alone (with God) than to be in an abusive, loveless relationship.
That's the beauty in dating when your existence is in alignment with your authentication and allowing your needs and desires to align with the purpose of the person that's meant for you. Timing tells all and if your important to this man, he will show you that you are valued in the way he covers you.
Your first words are very important, just because someone doesn't choose us it doesn't mean there's something wrong with us, it just means we're not a match...on to the next🙂
The best advice I ever received is..never marry someone you think you can live with..marry the one you can't live without... unfortunately it was after I divorced a man who told me he didn't know what love was..I should have listened.... He was right..
I went through this with someone I was recently dating he started off calling me and texting being consistent and asking me out , all a sudden he changed and became distant I was reaching out calling no response,then it got to point he would try see me week day nights only come down seem like sex but would avoid me weekends or asking me out.I asked him bout this he had nothing to say and didn’t seem to wanna communicate talk or work things out.He would text me I love you etc. But his actions didn’t match . He completely changed towards me treated me like option .And inconsistent.I just had to stop texting or contacting him.I let it go
I'm going through this now...3 months in, I feel like this is it where we are at. Thanks for this video, confirmed everything I was thinking. I can't be pouring my energy into someone who doesn't value or appreciate me. Maya Angelou's words ring true: "don't make someone a priority, when all you are to them is an option."
Great commentary Stephan, I am still healing from a relationship I left a month ago. But, I still listen to all your videos and almost finished your book!
Good morning real good man will sacrifice too make you happy n also be consistent n man of his word n also willing taken the burden off you ! A real man will do simple things like make should you have gas , bills paid, take you work on your off days , help make everything home is good
Goodmorning their real good men will sacrifice too make you happy , wiling do simple things keep a smile on your face , also be a man of his word , consistent , actions ! All men not the same if a man really luv you he work too bones make should you good ! I ‘ m single men I get by pass by doing this things being real man about it !
The lines have most definitely been blurred. 💯🙌 The boundaries that society has made "normal" are unhealthy and, if I'm being honest, is the root of so much confusion and hurt in the dating world. I've been on both sides and neither are easy BUT I do my best to lay clear boundaries until I know I'm ready to move to the next level. I've learned lessons the hard way that I trusted the wrong people and got hurt over & over (yes, I made BAD choices in men & yes, it was beacuse I had not healed from my childhood - so many singles today need to heal before dating. They don't realize that their wounds are toxic & contagious. Sad...). It's important to guard our heart, listen to the holy spirit & choose wisely. I enjoy watching your teachings. They are eye opening & I've learned from them. Thank you & God bless🙏🏻☺️🙌
Dealt with this option situation weeks ago and I let him go I couldn’t deal with it anymore wished I would’ve known these signs earlier… thank you Stephan 🙏🏻
If a man makes you feel confused, he is wasting your time and eroding your self esteem! 1. Know your value!!! (Do NOT doubt yourself.) 2. Take yourself and your worth seriously. You need to BE A QUEEN to be treated like one. 3. Don’t give easy access. Access to your energy should be expensive. 4. Do NOT only EXPRESS your boundaries. YOU MUST show them. 5. Always be ready to walk away. 6. Show that you are focused on actions not on words. 7. Have a healthy degree of skepticism. 8. You must be willing to say NO and you must be willing to lose the man, if needed. 9. Never EVER chase a man! A truly worthy woman, does not EVER chase a man. Giving the same energy that you're getting is key and if you don't like that energy then move on! NOW! It can be hard but that's when you need to choose yourself over the damn illusion/fantasy. A man who loves a woman will not ignore her, ever, period. So... If he ignores me I will step back and he will lose me. Simple. Simple. Non-dramatic and uncomplicated. I don’t, under any circumstance: play these childish-abusive-controlling mind games. I will only be with a man who values and appreciates me, and treats me as the Queen, I AM. (Daughter of the Most Hight; King of kings!) Because I am a beautiful and kind and divine and sexy and wise and intelligent and magical woman: who knows my worth. Period. Also, We create each moment. This moment contains, through my focus, both positive and negative... I can put my attention on what I lack, what I don't have, what traumas I do have etc... And, I can put my attention on the calm moment that I am in, NOW, the food I just ate, and the fact that my body is satisfied, the shelter I do have... (You get my idea!) Both are here... And now. For the sake of fairness, I will allow myself to cry my pains, in the moment if/when they come/arise, AND also acknowledge the beauty I still have in my life NOW. Pain? Yes. Suffering? Indeed. And, also: wonderous magical divine beauty. Blessings to you!
It's funny because I had a guy actually do all of the things you're saying guys don't usually do when they're treating a woman like an option. But although he was texting/calling me all the time , initiating the dates, bought me gifts, washed my hair , massages, he planned a couple occasions of non sexual time together without me even asking him .. however, I was STILL the side piece.
I think the guy I liked felt if he did too much I would get deeper in feelings for him. I’m not even sure at this point if he ever liked me at all, but what I do know is I just was not who he wanted. Painful reality, but it is what it is.
Thanks for the tips Stephan the first point really resonated with me because although I don’t mind initiating conversations, I am the type of woman who will sit back to see if the man I’m interested in is willing to put forth some effort. I understand that we all get busy, but if you’re truly interested in someone, you will make time for them.
Patience is what God loves, and seeking Him, overtime through all the endurance, you will see why its important to wait. Tbh haven't been in anything serious, but glad because the Most High saves you from alot when not rushing. Pray.
Wow, Stephan: Your one sentence with telling "O" words riveted me with a very spiritual light - beaming bright and fierce to guide us All. (When he wants the Option and not the Obligation to be with you) Many Thanks, with deep gratitude.
I already knew I was being treated as an Option, and I wanted to see if what I knew would line up with what you had to say, and yes, there was enough proof. Thanks for what you do.
Well, I was wrong😔I had it all wrong, now I have pie on my face. I wasn't an option, he was thinking that he was. I was speculating, he was trying to figure me out.😔
Yes it should not be one sided where the 1 partner is making all the calls and effort. Then they ghost you 👻👻👻👻and the other has no idea. What's going on! No one should have to be going through this kind of treatment . They don't follow threw . Fales hopes.
Thank u for this video, i saw it at the right time. I needed to hear this so i can have the strength to let him go and be available to the man who is ready to commit and who actually sees me as the ONLY option. I know that i am a great woman and i know what i have to offer and i will hold onto what u said at the end “you deserve better” its time to stop dealing with the nonsense 🙅🏾♀️
When you’re always apart what’s the point…just too busy. I’m trying to not let it bother me anymore and focus on the things I enjoy. Thank you for these videos ✨
They may regret losing but that doesn't mean you should take them back and give them a second chance because why should you be with someone that doesn't deserve you? Besides, they may want to be friends with you but that doesn't mean they will give you the relationship that you deserve because of their lack of self love and low self worth. Never allow a man to tell you more than once he's no good for you and be patient to wait for the man GOD has for you and you won't live with regret.
😩😩 Omg Stephan I’ve reached out to you a month ago about this EXACT situation I’m currently dealing with and needed advice then BOOM you’ve answered every thought and worry I had about this. My friend is a really nice guy, very consistent with texting everyday but that’s just IT and my spirit been telling me something is off and isn’t right! He did tell me he wasn’t ready right now and needed more time then after that, he became very awkwardly distant. To watch this and listen to you breaks my heart a little 🥺 but it was DEFINITELY needed to hear. This is my confirmation and all I needed. You spoke on this to a TEA! Thank you so much Stephen for your light and truth ❤️
Stephan I love listening to everything you say because they are so true. You open my eyes to the real way majority of men are. They want their cake & eat it too. Fall in love with a man, they tell you they love you but not showing it. You hit the nail on the head, action speaks louder than words, that is my motto. I've been there before and it hurts especially if you get your heart all tangled up in that man. It's best to be by yourself instead of getting hurt over & over by men or boys. Don't go out there looking for one, pray🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽be patient & wait on "GOD to send you your heart's desire. GOD don't make no mistakes. When he bless you it will be the best.
Beginning with my dad, I received abusive treatment. Growing up, I felt broken. Not good enough, not pretty enough, I was labeled “clumsy, hardheaded, and a million other things- I had big ears, 2 left feet and I would get so nervous trying to “do better” around my dad that often those nerves just made me feel incapable and inadequate. THIS bled over into my adult life. Smart, eager and hungry to just be seen and heard I made the wrong choices - Giving time to one user at a time and feeling even more broken. I said ENOUGH one day and began a journey that was supposed to be one year. I chose not to “date” or seek out relationships on a romantic level. I realized people didn’t understand this and took it as a challenge to “WIN” me…but I didnt budge. That ONE YEAR turned into 15. I was so free and in such a time of discovery of MYSELF, that I didn’t want to give up the contentment I found. It was the best thing I ever did. My confidence soared. It was clear that my issues were the other people, but that I was the common denominator. Thats a hard fact to come to terms with. If you seek love, first you have to find it within yourself enough to to stop those who cannot give love because they don’t first love themselves either. Today I am happily married to the man who patiently perused me. Firm boundaries were in place from the beginning as he observed me interactions with others and realized I wasn’t the “average woman”… He “saw” me-he heard me and I am so happy I took those years to love on me so that the right man would know how to love on me too.
Dating is a game I don’t want to play nor am I interested in. Too much work and lies and confusion I assume. Just seems like people enjoy lying and hurting people constantly- it is sickening! What has happened to humanity or certain cultures that “family values” just went out the door??? Oh no I’m good alone, don’t want to hurt anymore.
Great video Stephan! Really appreciate all of them! So insightful! I find myself often meeting and talking to guys who want a relationship and talk about the future etc but getting from the “talking stage” to a “commitment stage” is where I find a lot of guys so incredibly confusing. I’m ready to ask my dad to interview men and just let me know when finds the one he thinks is best 😂I’m not sure women were really intended to go through this “interview/elimination” (which we call dating) process. The Bible really just talks about marriage and betrothal (engagement). A man had to be approved and earn the woman he desired to have as a wife and Womens hearts were protected because they had a man evaluating and picking a good man for their husband. I know our society is so far from this idea on relationships/marriage but the older I get and the more I’ve experienced I see Gods design in how men and women best operate
I been married for 19 years. Before i met my husband i been through alot of hurt and pain. We as women have to recognize these signs because its definitely a red flag to move on.
When you spoke on a Man wanting the benefits of a relationship without being in one, I felt that. Recent situationship came to head real quick. He would flip flop saying we're in a committed relationship we just don't live together, then in the same breath say he not my man!! Needless to say in my Remy Ma voice " I had options he made weigh them shits" He found out quick fast. Thanks Stephen 💯
Thanks for this video. Everything you said is on point, describing my ex to a “T”. He keeps running, not willing to accept what he has done wrong, and does not show any interest that he wants to move forward and make an commitment.
@@MeetStephanSpeaks I decided that I will not communicate with him anymore. Thanks for all you do. Continue to do these videos to help us women out here.
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Well Said 💯
That's does happen
Don't lose your train of thought
You are a man with so much wisdom. Thank you for sharing!
Can you please do a video about getting over a man that you are pregnant by or have a child with. I’m pregnant by someone I’m having a hard time getting along with consistently. I’m trying to get over him.
If a man makes u feel confused, he is wasting your time.
Most definitely!
Or else we are wasting our own time. Amen.
I’m currently going through this. There’s more to this too but I don’t want to put it all on here. If I could only talk to Stephan. Smh!
When you said confused what you mean
💯
It's simple: "Always judge a person by their ACTIONS, and you will never be fooled by their words."
❤ Amen
That hit deep
‼️
Love this yes I will def: judge by actions more now- so I am not confused by his words!!
Def agree
If he treats you like an option then leave him like a choice.
I like that 🙏
Say it ma'am.
Basically
THIS THIS THIS!!!!
Exactly!!!!
Fight for a man who loves you, do not fight for a man to love you. Very powerful message in here. Thank you
🥺
Be careful
Never chase or beg a man to 💔 you , big troubles , been there
Yes!
Yes ladies, I agree. Been there. Done that. Too much. We learn. We'll, God teaches us if we are willing. God and or just life!
U can never be good enough for the WRONG
Person!!!
Amen
💯
Never beg for attention, loyalty or respect. Hold your head high.
" You can be an amazing woman yet he might not be designed to even see your value". Great point right there 💯💯💯💯💯🕊️🕊️🕊️🕊️ Ladies let's set ourselves free 🙏🙏🙏
Absolutely!
@@MeetStephanSpeaks I was just an option after over 14 years. That doesn't sound like much but you have to take into consideration that we each had 3 previous marriages each and lived with one another longer than we ever lived with our spouses with whom we had our children, 9 between us and only 3 we're grown when we got together. My youngest was 3 and he was like his dad because he didn't know his biological dad but he left us in Thanksgiving 2020 behind our back. I say we because it devastated me and hurt my(thought "our") son. I mean he, himself was not raised by his biological dad either.
We neither one were living for the Lord when we started living with each other. We made it through him losing our home & everything materialistic in a house fire in 2015 and him having a massive heart attack which required triple bypass open heart surgery only 9 months later in April of 2016. I stayed with him during his entire hospital stay and even lost my job for doing so....... But 4 yrs & 7 months later he left out of the blue when I was going through a very difficult time
We did see one another & even went to couples therapy for a while, he paid for my divorce from my estranged husband so we could be married but he just strung me along for over a year after he left
I will not lie this has all shattered my world! He went from saying he loved me, wanted to marry me in the eyes of God & saying there was no other woman to telling me to give him 2 more months when I put his feet to the fire and that very night I seen where he was messaging and flirting with and exchanging pictures with a woman who was the 1st girl he ever took out on a date as a teen boy who lived 2 states away
I sunk into a terrible depression because we are not even talking to one another now
I hold onto the fact that I know I can trust God/Jesus and ultimately want God's will in my life!
I could literally write a book but I do still love him and am still hurt badly but I cannot make him want to marry me
I just thought we were solid and that we would grow old together!
@@MeetStephanSpeaks and we both have already lived longer than we have left to live
He will be 56 Friday & I will be 53 in June
That’s a whole word! 💯💯
@@nenab1969 wow God bless you ! Leave him you deserve better than that ! Same situation.
Ladies take back your power just walk away.. Make room for the right one
You're absolutely right!
Precisely!!!!
How do i walk away, when i don't just like him anymore, that i actually fell in love? When my heart is bound to him.
As a 31 year old mother, I wish I knew these things as a 20 year old inexperienced girl. I blurred the lines between sex, lust and love, and I thought because my now ex was hitting me up, that he was actually interested in me. He was interested in my body and vagina, but not what I had to offer. We had such a toxic, abusive, roller-coaster relationship over 10 years, including bringing a daughter into our mess. All of the signs were there, blaring in my face that he wasn't really interested in me "like that," but I chose to ignore them and was hoping to change him. I was so naive and so desperate for attention, love and affection, and I was not respected, cared for or understood. We are going through a custody battle at the moment. Ladies, please don't ever settle, know your worth, have dignity and follow your intuition if things seem off or inconsistent. If a man really wants YOU and what you have to offer, he will chase you and let it be known that he wants you. A man will never confuse you, play games or only hit you up at nighttime for sex.
36 y o mother here with quite a similar story. We can make up by talking to our daughters about this subject! My mother literally always told me to keep trying to make him happy, even when my relationship became really unsafe. She wasn't there during divorce. I have learned a lot from that; my kids are getting the support they need to build healthy relationships and I will be there when they need it the most.
Your post is now from a year ago, I hope you are doing well. ❤
As men and women are out there dating in hopes of meeting that special someone, we are all options in some regard. What is the most devastating and disappointing aspect of dating today, is the lack of honesty. Speak on why men would rather lie, ghost and make up false excuses than speak the truth. Dating has become a world of constant pain, heartbreak and toxicity. If you're not playing those crazy games then you will surely be hurt. If you're not guarded at all times then you will be hurt. Being single is the only way to avoid any of these traumatic experiences in dating now. I'd rather be alone than subject myself to the constant deceptive behaviors I've encountered.
I totally agree! I don’t date anymore.. it took me too long to learn how to love myself enough to enjoy me! And be alone with God. It’s not worth dating anymore..
I'm sorry to hear about that and I pray that you heal from all that you have been through 🙏
@@MeetStephanSpeaks Thank you. I am currently in the process of healing. Your videos and book has been part of my journey. Thank you for your honest insight.
@@nicolehobson1510 You're absolutely right! Once you've learned to love yourself everything changes. I always thought dating was fun, until I got my heart and spirit broken 💔 I'll never make that mistake again. My son is off to college and I'm moving closer to the ocean to enjoy my single life. I pray you have an amazing day.
most men just waste most women’s time. Most people know right away if they want to marry them. Sometimes people just aren’t meant for each other or/and the men is just using different women at the same time and that’s when these string along situationships occur
“He wants the option of seeing you without the obligation of being with you”… whew I felt that to the core! U have a gift of verbalizing the uneasy and confusing situations
Ladies please remember that you're not for everybody and everybody is not for you. A man not being interested in you can boil down to incompatibility.
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback.
Amen!👌😘
Wow Taisha Spot on with the Comment. Is there a Video on “Incompatibility?” Misunderstandings pile up and the Arguments can be Devastating.
You deserve more than being an option to any man. Value yourself and find the one who will see you as priority
You're absolutely right!
13min in soo on point🙌
This has got to be at the top of one's list
What if I hate the work life but am high value?
If a man is not serious, no matter how hard you try he will never stay.
The heart will fool you, the mind will play tricks on you, the spirit will discern and never lie about the energy-T.D.Smith. when it feels confusing and not right let it go.
Some men all about words no action, ladies take care of yourselves, treat yourself to the nice things in life diamonds, cars, house, ect you work for it, why not,be that independent women, never seek a man's validation he should be the one chasing after you 🙌💯
Thank you for sharing your thoughts I appreciate your feedback!
FACTS 💯
🧘🏾♀️☮🙏🏾
That’s so true!!
Totally
Definitely but I prefer when a man pursues me, not chase. Chasing to me is him running after me & I’m running away. As Stephen said a MUTUAL effort.
When he said " he wanna have the option to deal with her but not the obligation to be with her" I jumped out my seat 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
Yeah Rones, That was a reality Check for me.
Ohhh when someone REALLY wants you, they will put that WORK in!
💯 Yes!
" Never make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option". Maya Angelou hhad both poetry and truth.
Amen to that 🙏
I was in a “relationship” with my ex for 8 years, and he never came around to see me and I always found women’s clothes and condoms lying around his place. I stupidly believed his outlandish lies because I was afraid of being alone. After some soul searching, I was able to walk away, and one year later I meet a man who is everything I asked for and more.
It’s incredible how we can manifest everything we deserve when we leave what is not meant for us.
Too many men want fwb and not the relationship commitment. I'd rather be alone than to settle for that.
Love your channel ❤
I feel you, it definitely isn't an easy situation, but the focus needs to be on doing what is truly best 🙏
Yep! We have to learn to be single 👌😘
and if other women would stop compromising, perhaps a few men would change their mindsets and become physically accountable...self respect for all concerned.
Perhaps we woman can and ought change the game. Since males are not serious to be exclusive, we can also hop and date around for free meals. Some guys really ask for it.
That is just a cheapskate financially and mentally.
Dear Lord, I needed to hear this. I been wanting to leave this man who I’m very interested in. When you’re a conscious women it’s hard to over look someone’s lack of effort. I’m ready to chose my peace and not block my blessings. Thank you for the clarity.. I’m ready to move on.
It’s very hurtful when U know you’re a good woman and a man is not able see your true value. The rejection sucks and yes we may not be a great fit but trying to date in ur 40’s is tedious. I don’t want to settle but who wants to be lonely? No matter how confident I get there’s always that one person who walks away that makes me second guess my worth.
😢
Yo ya abandono cualquier esperanza , voy a cumplir 53 en marzo . Creo que estaré sola el resto de mi vida , bueno con mi perrita . Te deseo suerte eres muy joven.
i hear you. Going through this right now, :(
I have truly enjoy being single for 16 years now. I believe it is easier to be single and I’m 60.
I have started to really love myself and I am the happiest I have been in 16 years, since my divorce. 👍🏼
I'm dealing with the same right now.😢
Spot on! A man's words and actions must be in alignment. If his words and actions are inconsistent chances are he is not serious about you and he is double-minded. Another thing I always say is a person makes time and space for what is important to them. If a man cannot make time chances are you are not a priority in his life. Sure he may have a busy schedule, but then when will he have the time and why bother going after a woman if you are too busy? Do not pursue if you cannot be consistent. My time is not to be wasted🙏🏼❤️
Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate hearing from you ❤️
@@MeetStephanSpeaks You're Welcome Stephan. Likewise and Thank You as always for providing great content as well as words of wisdom 🙏🏼❤️
Yes!! 🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼
@@kaoshi_kutie Indeed🙏🏼❤️
One of the best and favorite comment!
💖💖💖
Celebrating, 26 years single, by choice. I truly don't fatigue myself with games and stuff like that. Everyone just needs to work on being authentic.
Indeed, it really helps when we embrace that. Thank you for sharing ❤
I believe in Authenticity too! Don't have the time for games! Gonna stay single for the rest of my life..
True! Turning 21 this year and still single. 🤍
Proud of you
@Barbara Canterbury, I admire you. I've been single for years and still have not truly embraced it. I am single by choice, because I refused to put up with my husband's games. But, I still wish to meet an authentic, loving man. I wish I could let that dream go, because it detracts from my own vision of my life as a solo artist.
"Boyfriend benefits used to be considered husband benefits." On point.
He acts like a boyfriend but he’s not willing to commit. That was an eye opener.
It was the "set yourself free!", for me. So many people spend so much time trying to be everything to one person. When haven't even fulfilled what they need to be for themselves.
Thank you for your feedback. You're absolutely right!
Completely true!
And in other cases, they tend to be so focused on looking for who to date that they forget to date themselves.
And the reality they mostly failed to learn too early is that, until you are able to date yourself, enjoy your own company, and can tolerate your own demons, you will never, and I repeat, never stand the chance to date someone else properly, love them in the language they understand, tolerate their person, create adjustments for their weaknesses, and learning to accept and adjust to individual differences.
@@WisdomDose this would be akin to accepting the whole person, which should always be the goal.
Why date, why love why Marry if you refuse to keep the whole person (or, partner)?
People, we make mistakes, we are human and it's our capacity to thoroughly know our whole self--our weakness,our growth and changes, our partner's--weakness, growth and changes, which will only come as a result of being totally honest with ourselves, first.
Vetting yourself requires you to be comfortable with your non-negotiables and to be so consistent in character--spiritual, emotional, social, physical, mental aspects, that to betray yourself, is just not an option, it ain't gon happen!
Be honest with yourself, it won't make you weak.
if you know you don't want a playboy, talk is cheap, so your actions will demonstrate that you won't entertain one! 💔
everyone to personally know ourselves that when someone breaks our boundary, not just our heart, but a boundary, repeatedly, that this change must now be addressed with a choice.
Also, people often loose themselves in a relationship, because they accept someone who's not meant for them.
They turn and partner with someone who they believe can be improved and changed by their mere tender, love and care, not realizing that an individual has to want to change on his or her own. ❤️🎊❤️🎉
@@kourtney101 This is deep!
Thanks for this.
@@WisdomDose 🙌🏿 🥰
Beloveds, always look at the actions. I was always questioning my position with him until I got tired!!! He can say he will marry me and is in love, but his actions said… You don’t even like me! Thank God I WOKE UP and I have peace ♥️
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback.
So true. This happened to me!
@@womenofGod52 sorry it did sis
So proud of you
Right 😊
I walked away a week ago... left him on a trip. This validated everything i chose to leave. I never spoke to him again.
15:58 15:59
Wow!! I listened for 24 minutes and learned that I was right to give up on romantic relationships. I can’t get those wasted years back, however I can focus on bettering myself for a better life. 😊
We need to stop putting our selves on clearance. If they cannot afford to be a part of our lives then it’s a “no” for now. Should we discount ourselves? Does this not lower our value? Are we not worth the time and effort? Thanks Stephen for these amazing words of wisdom. ❤️🙏🏽
❤️ 🙂 Thank you for watching, I appreciate your feedback!
You're an option because he already has a woman who is NOT optional. You're an option because he thinks he can do better but, wants to keep you as his fall-back in case he can't get the woman (or man, let's be real) he really wants. You're an option because he wants your money and adoration, but that's all. You're an option because he feels entitled to have any woman he can get something from, no matter how much he hurts you. You're an option because it makes him feel powerful to control you with the promise of a relationship he knows you will never have. You're an option because you have mutual friends and he doesn't want to look like an a**h*le for breaking up with you. You're an option because his family already knows and loves you so, now, he's stuck pretending to still be with you. You're an option because you are not enough to make him want to go all-in and treat you with the respect you deserve.
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate that ❤️
Thats exactly what heppened to me with my ex...
This one hurt😂
Wow this 💯
You said it all!
The last bonus sign made me cry.
It’s the actual realization and having to accept that this is actually what it is.
I'm very cautious about being just an option, so I tend to friend zone anyone that displays a romantic interest in anyone other than me. It's never been a bad decision, so far.
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback.
This is helpful. This comment helps me .
It happened to me right now. He gave me soo much attention. He started the conversation, text me n so on ... one day I introduced him to my girl friend. And the next day, he asked her to hang out with him ... I feel so betrayed. Now he doesn't even text me that often n today is the first time he doesn't reply me eventhough I have problem and he knew about it ... Well I am not his priority clearly. As much as I'm hurt. I still want to stay as friends. I know it is not a good idea. But I will take my time and distance my self first. And I will come back when I feel ok ..
@@masayuangelanggraini6144 if you stay friends you will cause yourself more emotional damage, you have to let it go.
@@justfit71 yes it is true. But we still meet in class. So it is kindda hard to avoid each other. I will focus on my self instead. Thank you for your concern, I actually feel that right now.
I just broke up with my boyfriend a couple weeks ago. We been on and off for 3 years. And when you said friend zone, that hit me. I haven't seen him in 3 weeks and it's been almost 2 weeks since I've talked to him.
I needed to hear this, thank you.
Glad I could help 🙏
@@MeetStephanSpeaks ❤️❤️
Your not his mother sis , sorry , Scary Spaghetti 🍝
Thank you. It's so sad the way some women would recognize that they're being treated like an option and still allow these men to continue to treat them like they're worthless. It's better to be alone than to be with a man like that.
It isn't an easy situation but the focus should be on doing what is truly best 🙏
There are certain patterns of toxicity that repeat themselves in relationships if it is allowed. If the woman allows herself to be treated as an option and not a priority that will become the foundation of the relationship. If also she pours everything in his cup and he pours little to nothing in her cup that will create an imbalance of lack in the relationship.
Ultimately, the woman must decide that the only option is to leave toxicity and find someone who recognizes the value in her & her love.She must also keep her options open to know that settling for a man who undermines her greatness was never a part of God's divine plan for her life. Great points in your video, blessings & light to you.
❤️ 🙂 Thank you for sharing and may you be blessed as well 🙏
@@MeetStephanSpeaks Your welcome. & continued success 🙌 to you always.🙏
Flip the script ladies and stop carrying! Live this life unapologetically happy flowing in your feminine energy! See how the atmosphere shift for the good. The ball is in your court and you hold the power as usual...use it wisely!💜 God is so good!
Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate hearing from you ❤️
The stronger that I get within myself, I no longer initiate, I give the same option. I'm the prize, not an option!
When a man tells me he is busy, he has just insulted my intelligence! It's a total turn off.
Just ended it with a Man because of his busyness he acted as if he wanted a serious relationship he actions proved otherwise and I took myself out of the equation.
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback.
I always knew I was an option to him. So I told him I'll choose a land rover over him. He was shocked because he loved me
Absolutely ❤️ love this topic
Sometimes as single women we have to learn to make ourselves a Priority! And not settling for less ! That way we are at a high Vibration and attract a partner that sees our value and shows it 💯💯💯
❤️ 🙂 Thank you for watching, I appreciate your feedback!
Factamundo queen!!!!!
Yes ma’am! High Vibration!!!
When his actions don’t match his words, please adjust your actions towards him to match his actions too 💅🏾
Thank you for sharing your thoughts I appreciate your feedback!
If these men stop looking at all these Instagram models and just choose a normal everyday real woman. They wouldn't be so confused
Yes I agree 👍
Thank you for sharing your thoughts I appreciate your feedback!
Rachel Phillips then they Probably ain’t looking like nothing
@@victorianorris1916 exactly.
Yes!
Stop wondering if you are good enough for them. If they don’t value you, they are not for you.
💙UA-camr That Helps People Overcome Toxic Relationships
Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate hearing from you ❤️
I walked away from a man like that. I don't regret it.
🙏
FRIEND ZONE: Excellent point. This will always make you an option. As a friend, men feel that they can get the best of both worlds.
He can still have full access and loyalty to you while dating others, with no guilt.
I have voluntarily stashed myself in the friend zone so than I could weigh my options as well.
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback.
Well said Stephan 👏. Had a man who always skirted the discussion of commitment to avoid obligation. Hurt me alot 💔. However, I learned my lesson. When I tried dating another man, we dated 2 months before we parted. I was proud of myself because I set myself as a priority & he admitted he didn't have time. Since I didn't invest intensely, it was easier to walk away & I'm ok, no bitterness. These videos have been such a great lesson because they teach us how to vet & I applied it. Thank you. 😊
I'm happy the videos have been helpful to you and don't forget to share so that others can receive love and healing 🙏 ❤
We all need that ONE Lesson. I had my first and TRUST ME I learned big time. I will NOT invest my emotions so fast on ANYONE.
I had the same scenario so true
I’m giving up on love, tired of all the games.
Before you give up on dating try changing your focus from dating to learning and you will start to see positive results in your dating experiences!
Here here 🍷....I jus QUIT 🙆
Never give up on Love ❤️. God is Love ❤️.
A very hurtful thing that happened to me was this man went cold 🥶 and I questioned myself did I do something wrong 😞 and when you have the guts to go up to that man and ask him if he wants to have coffee and those words come back "I'll let you know"..deep down I knew he wasn't going to do anything..I have been healing and cry maybe once a day, but this shall pass. And this video gave me the answer that what I'm doing Is the right desicion..walking away..not mad at him I wish him well but it hurts. Thank you stephan I hope you find a very beautifull lady one day.
I'm sorry to hear about that, I pray that you heal from all that you have been through, and be able to keep moving in faith 🙏 ❤️
I wish I know all this stuff when I first started dating. I was always really shy and reserved so I would just go with the flow. As a result I never got what I wanted out of dating and relationships. The goal is to get everything out on the table. Let them know where you stand and what you want. It will sift out the wheat from the chaff. Thank you Stephan!
"Go with the flow" is the kiss of death.
Exactly
Facts I do not chase ,I attract!!
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate that ❤️
So nice to have a partnership with a man who wants to plan and have goals for a future together.Thank you for this content.
My pleasure ❤️
A guy I once liked told me my legs were too heavy for him. I took these heavy legs else where and he deeply regretted saying it. I appreciate him for the honesty. I’ll never dim my light nor hide the lusciousness of my heavy legs for any man or woman.
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate that ❤️
I was an option, you hit every situation that was going on with this no future relationship of 6 years, thank you for the break-down. I am free!
I'm sorry to hear about that and I pray that you heal from all that you have been through, and be able to keep moving in faith 🙏 ❤️
W-hatsap him⏬⏬⏬⏬⏬
➕2349133269124♻️♻️🎦🚻如何讓你的前任回來д
He will definitely help you he have solutions to all problem
Thank you for this Stephan. I came to this conclusion about a month ago. All your points are what I realized/noticed and I ended everything. He was in love with the idea of me but was/is not ready either spiritually, emotionally, or physically, for the reality of me and what that entails.
Thank you for sharing your experience! Hopefully, it will help others learn from it. I appreciate that ❤️
Yeah, youre right.
We all desire true love and companionship. However, God's love and self-love will ward off many of these shenanigans. Then, the right one will see us.
❤ 🙏
“Then, the right one will see us” that’s the one ! Only God can make it happen !
All these are what I'm currently dealing with, the longer u deal with these things, the more it gets worse. Thank you, your my motivation to tell my story.
Wish I saw this 2 years ago. I pulled away and was done for 7 months until he needed a date for his birthday. Telling me I am the one but he is not right. So I gave it one more week and then I walked away forever. I got a new number and never called. It’s been 3 months. He was what I called, a time waster! I was looking for someone new when I left the 1st. I found my new person 2 months ago once I go rid of the old trash.
Ughh finally the video I was looking for 🙌🏾. I just went through the whole “nice guy that won’t commit” scenario. I left him because something felt amiss (admittedly he had less free time than other men I dated but still, you too busy or too busy for me??) but then I thought of all the little reassurances he would give when I complained or went quiet and doubted if I’d given up on it too soon. Well I doubled back and told him what was bothering me 😅. If it was all a misunderstanding and my failure to communicate my needs before breaking things off let me know and maybe give it another chance, if not, well my intuition was still batting at 1000%.
Ultimately, he couldn’t say it with his chest but he wasn’t ready for me to be his sole focus, so I walked away content that I can always trust my gut. Glad this video appeared though, to just give me further confirmation I made the right moves.
Oh my God! This is my favorite video. You have saved me Stephan. I walked away. I am reading your book, The man God has for you. Dating at a mature age is very difficult . Too much baggage from both. So much fear making us older adults emotionally detached. Do not stop stephan , I am with you! Thank you.
Thank you again, Stephan, for your amazing wisdom and sound advice.
It is much better to be alone (with God) than to be in an abusive, loveless relationship.
💯 Yes!
God bless you, Linda. 🤍
I like these information sessions.They are healing and they help us to stop blaming anyone for the choices we make.
I'm happy this has been helpful to you, don't forget to share so that others can receive love and healing ❤ 🙏
That's the beauty in dating when your existence is in alignment with your authentication and allowing your needs and desires to align with the purpose of the person that's meant for you. Timing tells all and if your important to this man, he will show you that you are valued in the way he covers you.
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback.
@@MeetStephanSpeaks thank you for all you do. It's been years of a great journey . Your bay area tour changed my life. 🥂
Your first words are very important, just because someone doesn't choose us it doesn't mean there's something wrong with us, it just means we're not a match...on to the next🙂
The best advice I ever received is..never marry someone you think you can live with..marry the one you can't live without... unfortunately it was after I divorced a man who told me he didn't know what love was..I should have listened....
He was right..
If you have ask yourself if youre wasting your time you absolutely are
Thank you for sharing your thoughts I appreciate your feedback!
I went through this with someone I was recently dating he started off calling me and texting being consistent and asking me out , all a sudden he changed and became distant I was reaching out calling no response,then it got to point he would try see me week day nights only come down seem like sex but would avoid me weekends or asking me out.I asked him bout this he had nothing to say and didn’t seem to wanna communicate talk or work things out.He would text me I love you etc. But his actions didn’t match . He completely changed towards me treated me like option .And inconsistent.I just had to stop texting or contacting him.I let it go
I'm sorry to hear about that, I pray that you heal from all that you have been through, and be able to keep moving in faith 🙏 ❤️
Typical behavior of married man
I'm going through this now...3 months in, I feel like this is it where we are at. Thanks for this video, confirmed everything I was thinking. I can't be pouring my energy into someone who doesn't value or appreciate me. Maya Angelou's words ring true: "don't make someone a priority, when all you are to them is an option."
@@richricogranada9647 typical behavior of any man when you give up the goods.
I’m single 💯%. No strings or drama attached💝 I just simply enjoyed this video and learned a lot💜
I'm happy this has been helpful to you 🙏
GAMES, Games and more GAMES!
That’s why I stay single.
It isn't an easy situation, but the focus needs to be on doing what is truly best 🙏
I no....I jus QUIT ✌
this is how i feel with my wife . its not just men do this it has been one sided for most of our relationship
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback.
Great commentary Stephan, I am still healing from a relationship I left a month ago. But, I still listen to all your videos and almost finished your book!
Glad to hear that, thank you for your response and I pray that you heal from all that you have been through 🙏
Thank you sweetie
Good morning real good man will sacrifice too make you happy n also be consistent n man of his word n also willing taken the burden off you ! A real man will do simple things like make should you have gas , bills paid, take you work on your off days , help make everything home is good
Goodmorning their real good men will sacrifice too make you happy , wiling do simple things keep a smile on your face , also be a man of his word , consistent , actions ! All men not the same if a man really luv you he work too bones make should you good ! I ‘ m single men I get by pass by doing this things being real man about it !
The lines have most definitely been blurred. 💯🙌 The boundaries that society has made "normal" are unhealthy and, if I'm being honest, is the root of so much confusion and hurt in the dating world. I've been on both sides and neither are easy BUT I do my best to lay clear boundaries until I know I'm ready to move to the next level. I've learned lessons the hard way that I trusted the wrong people and got hurt over & over (yes, I made BAD choices in men & yes, it was beacuse I had not healed from my childhood - so many singles today need to heal before dating. They don't realize that their wounds are toxic & contagious. Sad...). It's important to guard our heart, listen to the holy spirit & choose wisely.
I enjoy watching your teachings. They are eye opening & I've learned from them. Thank you & God bless🙏🏻☺️🙌
❤️ 🙂 Thank you for watching and your feedback! Healing is definitely key 🙏
I kinda of love your spirit. I pray you get healed as fast as possible!
Hey Hey 👋 I’m 👋 I’m in I I iiiiih
👋 iiviiovomito my
Ijuice vhiii
It seems like singleness is bliss atp
He did that to me after I had breast cancer I was married to him 22 years
Dealt with this option situation weeks ago and I let him go I couldn’t deal with it anymore wished I would’ve known these signs earlier… thank you Stephan 🙏🏻
🙏
If a man makes you feel confused,
he is wasting your time
and eroding your self esteem!
1. Know your value!!! (Do NOT doubt yourself.)
2. Take yourself and your worth seriously. You need to BE A QUEEN to be treated like one.
3. Don’t give easy access. Access to your energy should be expensive.
4. Do NOT only EXPRESS your boundaries. YOU MUST show them.
5. Always be ready to walk away.
6. Show that you are focused on actions not on words.
7. Have a healthy degree of skepticism.
8. You must be willing to say NO and you must be willing to lose the man, if needed.
9. Never EVER chase a man! A truly worthy woman, does not EVER chase a man.
Giving the same energy that you're getting
is key
and if you don't like that energy
then move on! NOW!
It can be hard
but that's when you need to choose yourself
over the damn illusion/fantasy.
A man who loves a woman will not ignore her, ever, period.
So...
If he ignores me
I will step back
and he will lose me.
Simple. Simple.
Non-dramatic
and uncomplicated.
I don’t,
under any circumstance:
play these childish-abusive-controlling
mind games.
I will only be with a man who values and appreciates me,
and treats me as the Queen, I AM.
(Daughter of the Most Hight; King of kings!)
Because I am a beautiful and kind and divine
and sexy and wise and intelligent and magical woman:
who knows my worth.
Period.
Also,
We create each moment.
This moment contains,
through my focus,
both positive and negative...
I can put my attention on what I lack,
what I don't have,
what traumas I do have etc...
And,
I can put my attention on the calm moment that I am in, NOW,
the food I just ate, and the fact that my body is satisfied, the shelter I do have...
(You get my idea!)
Both are here...
And now.
For the sake of fairness,
I will allow myself to cry my pains, in the moment
if/when they come/arise,
AND
also acknowledge the beauty I still have in my life NOW.
Pain? Yes.
Suffering? Indeed.
And,
also:
wonderous magical divine beauty.
Blessings to you!
It's funny because I had a guy actually do all of the things you're saying guys don't usually do when they're treating a woman like an option. But although he was texting/calling me all the time , initiating the dates, bought me gifts, washed my hair , massages, he planned a couple occasions of non sexual time together without me even asking him .. however, I was STILL the side piece.
Exactly this is rare but it definitely happens. Some men will truly value their other woman.
I think the guy I liked felt if he did too much I would get deeper in feelings for him. I’m not even sure at this point if he ever liked me at all, but what I do know is I just was not who he wanted. Painful reality, but it is what it is.
Thanks for the tips Stephan the first point really resonated with me because although I don’t mind initiating conversations, I am the type of woman who will sit back to see if the man I’m interested in is willing to put forth some effort. I understand that we all get busy, but if you’re truly interested in someone, you will make time for them.
Most definitely!
Patience is what God loves, and seeking Him, overtime through all the endurance, you will see why its important to wait. Tbh haven't been in anything serious, but glad because the Most High saves you from alot when not rushing. Pray.
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback.
Yes❤️👍🏾
Wow, Stephan: Your one sentence with telling "O" words riveted me with a very spiritual light - beaming bright and fierce to guide us All. (When he wants the Option and not the Obligation to be with you) Many Thanks, with deep gratitude.
My pleasure ❤️
I already knew I was being treated as an Option, and I wanted to see if what I knew would line up with what you had to say, and yes, there was enough proof. Thanks for what you do.
Well, I was wrong😔I had it all wrong, now I have pie on my face. I wasn't an option, he was thinking that he was. I was speculating, he was trying to figure me out.😔
Yes it should not be one sided where the 1 partner is making all the calls and effort. Then they ghost you 👻👻👻👻and the other has no idea. What's going on! No one should have to be going through this kind of treatment .
They don't follow threw . Fales hopes.
Thank u for this video, i saw it at the right time. I needed to hear this so i can have the strength to let him go and be available to the man who is ready to commit and who actually sees me as the ONLY option. I know that i am a great woman and i know what i have to offer and i will hold onto what u said at the end “you deserve better” its time to stop dealing with the nonsense 🙅🏾♀️
Glad to hear that, thank you for your response!
You and me ....I need a partner not just an companionship
When you’re always apart what’s the point…just too busy. I’m trying to not let it bother me anymore and focus on the things I enjoy. Thank you for these videos ✨
They may regret losing but that doesn't mean you should take them back and give them a second chance because why should you be with someone that doesn't deserve you? Besides, they may want to be friends with you but that doesn't mean they will give you the relationship that you deserve because of their lack of self love and low self worth. Never allow a man to tell you more than once he's no good for you and be patient to wait for the man GOD has for you and you won't live with regret.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts I appreciate your feedback!
😩😩 Omg Stephan I’ve reached out to you a month ago about this EXACT situation I’m currently dealing with and needed advice then BOOM you’ve answered every thought and worry I had about this. My friend is a really nice guy, very consistent with texting everyday but that’s just IT and my spirit been telling me something is off and isn’t right! He did tell me he wasn’t ready right now and needed more time then after that, he became very awkwardly distant. To watch this and listen to you breaks my heart a little 🥺 but it was DEFINITELY needed to hear. This is my confirmation and all I needed. You spoke on this to a TEA! Thank you so much Stephen for your light and truth ❤️
I'm happy this has been helpful to you and I pray that you heal from all that you have been through 🙏
Stephan I love listening to everything you say because they are so true. You open my eyes to the real way majority of men are. They want their cake & eat it too. Fall in love with a man, they tell you they love you but not showing it. You hit the nail on the head, action speaks louder than words, that is my motto. I've been there before and it hurts especially if you get your heart all tangled up in that man. It's best to be by yourself instead of getting hurt over & over by men or boys. Don't go out there looking for one, pray🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽be patient & wait on "GOD to send you your heart's desire. GOD don't make no mistakes. When he bless you it will be the best.
Beginning with my dad, I received abusive treatment. Growing up, I felt broken. Not good enough, not pretty enough, I was labeled “clumsy, hardheaded, and a million other things- I had big ears, 2 left feet and I would get so nervous trying to “do better” around my dad that often those nerves just made me feel incapable and inadequate.
THIS bled over into my adult life. Smart, eager and hungry to just be seen and heard I made the wrong choices -
Giving time to one user at a time and feeling even more broken.
I said ENOUGH one day and began a journey that was supposed to be one year. I chose not to “date” or seek out relationships on a romantic level. I realized people didn’t understand this and took it as a challenge to “WIN” me…but I didnt budge. That ONE YEAR turned into 15. I was so free and in such a time of discovery of MYSELF, that I didn’t want to give up the contentment I found. It was the best thing I ever did. My confidence soared. It was clear that my issues were the other people, but that I was the common denominator. Thats a hard fact to come to terms with. If you seek love, first you have to find it within yourself enough to to stop those who cannot give love because they don’t first love themselves either. Today I am happily married to the man who patiently perused me. Firm boundaries were in place from the beginning as he observed me interactions with others and realized I wasn’t the “average woman”… He “saw” me-he heard me and I am so happy I took those years to love on me so that the right man would know how to love on me too.
Dating is a game I don’t want to play nor am I interested in. Too much work and lies and confusion I assume. Just seems like people enjoy lying and hurting people constantly- it is sickening! What has happened to humanity or certain cultures that “family values” just went out the door??? Oh no I’m good alone, don’t want to hurt anymore.
I have been the initiater often. And often I did not like it. Eventually I move on feeling hurt and disappointed. But I eventually get over it.
Great video Stephan! Really appreciate all of them! So insightful! I find myself often meeting and talking to guys who want a relationship and talk about the future etc but getting from the “talking stage” to a “commitment stage” is where I find a lot of guys so incredibly confusing. I’m ready to ask my dad to interview men and just let me know when finds the one he thinks is best 😂I’m not sure women were really intended to go through this “interview/elimination” (which we call dating) process. The Bible really just talks about marriage and betrothal (engagement). A man had to be approved and earn the woman he desired to have as a wife and Womens hearts were protected because they had a man evaluating and picking a good man for their husband. I know our society is so far from this idea on relationships/marriage but the older I get and the more I’ve experienced I see Gods design in how men and women best operate
It definitely isn't an easy situation, but the focus needs to be on doing what is truly best 🙏
I really appreciate this insight!
The most pleasurable time of the day is when I take my rescued Dog for a walk, and he never stress me, but gives lots of joy. He is my date!
I been married for 19 years. Before i met my husband i been through alot of hurt and pain. We as women have to recognize these signs because its definitely a red flag to move on.
When you spoke on a Man wanting the benefits of a relationship without being in one, I felt that. Recent situationship came to head real quick. He would flip flop saying we're in a committed relationship we just don't live together, then in the same breath say he not my man!! Needless to say in my Remy Ma voice " I had options he made weigh them shits" He found out quick fast. Thanks Stephen 💯
Thanks for this video. Everything you said is on point, describing my ex to a “T”. He keeps running, not willing to accept what he has done wrong, and does not show any interest that he wants to move forward and make an commitment.
🙏 I hope he reaches the point of truly doing what is best.
@@MeetStephanSpeaks I decided that I will not communicate with him anymore. Thanks for all you do. Continue to do these videos to help us women out here.
I really needed this message. It was right on time. Thanks.
My pleasure ❤️
@@MeetStephanSpeaks nñbbbnnbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb