SUPER ATTRACTIVE TRAIT that DRIVES MEN CRAZY | Signs of a good woman | What men want
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- Опубліковано 13 лип 2024
- Girltalkwithguys.com
SUPER ATTRACTIVE TRAIT that DRIVES MEN CRAZY | Signs of a good woman | What men want
Women always ask me what men want. There are many answers to that question. I always try to answer this question from the context of healthy minded men. As we all have known and met less than healthy thinkers on the subject. Men love a few character traits in women and some of them even make men want to take the plunge and commit. A woman who can handle herself appropriately in anger is definitely one of those things men are looking for. When they find it, they prefer to hold onto it. Women who’s wisdom and logic, and femininity doesn’t leave them when they are challenged or upset. Women who manage their words, tones, and actions when things aren’t going well make men feel emotionally safe and secure in relationships. Men are often waiting for the first major disagreement before they decide if they can truly trust a woman. If she handles it well, it can make a man finally trust her and commit to a future with her. If you want a man to fall for you and commit then you should have this character trait, and if you don’t, develop it. - Навчання та стиль
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You are wise beyond your years.
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If a man is not bringing out the best in me. I bow out gracefully.
@ Karen Scales..Same here.
Same here 👸❤
🙌🏾🙌🏾
Ta ta ta... obviously you all did not clearly comprehend what he said... sometimes due to our PAST hurt/ battles we can unknowingly come into new relationships ready to fight, argue or win the argument at any cost. Keep in mind to NOT make all men pay for what one or two bad men did to u in the past. Think before you speak and remember those past battles are in the past... so start anew. Ijs...
@ AFP1 you’re 100% right the whole video was speaking to me.. my life story now having trust issues I brought old baggage into a new relationship.. then he’d do things I felt was disrespectful and it just made it worse.. I’m currently trying to become a whole healthy person and get help with trusting before I even think about having another relationship.. I feel as he my ways ran him away. Although in the beginning he said he was going anywhere; now look. But his lack of of communication made me question his intentions at first now I can tell he’s done.. praying for strength and a peaceful heart!
When these videos make you realize how much of a good woman you are. 🥰
😏
Yes!! 🙌🏽🙌🏽
🙌🙆♀️😊
❤️❤️
❤️❤️
"During an argument, Both should be RESPECTFUL .Because at the end of the day, hurtful words can damage the intimacy in a relationship.
Easier said than done by most people. In anger people say many things they don’t mean
For real.
Very True
Yes and sometimes the damage is irreparable
This is very true and I honestly loose feelings fast. At this very moment am going home to break up with my bf because we argue alot and he has said alot of rude and disrespectful things to me in arguments. Those things cannot be forgotten and it keeps happening.
It’s better to leave then to let a man drag you down into abusive conflict dynamics
Absolutely. I refuse to allow a man or anyone else to affect my character...
Right cause what happens to tht woman tht has to hold it inside just to handle it in a calm matter , she’ll be burning up inside, trying to hold it together
@@renada8900 I can attest to this.
Absolutely! I treat a man according to how he treat me.
Well but if it's in fact actual "abuse" this video wouldn't apply those cases. This video as he has pointed out surrounds conflict resolution from a feminine angle versus a relationship that's about control and conquer with the ill intention to overpower her... there's no resolution in that.
This actually goes both ways, especially for mature women. There’s no bigger turn off for a woman than a man who can’t handle his anger and regulate his emotions. And that aggression does come out early on. More women need to learn to see that as a red flag and run away quick because it’s always a sign of toxicity and dysfunction for men and women who cannot regulate their emotions. It’s only gonna get worse from there.
Absolutely, such a turn off. Those emotionally unstable men and women who go from 0-100 in 6 seconds over spilled milk? Yeah, miss me with that!!
Definitely and a immature man in general
Yesss it’s your whole comment for me!!❤️❤️🔥💯
So true!
Getting into the dating scene over 40 and I am really respecting your genuine advice, please keep this up..Ladies need this..Thanks
Its called being emotionally intelligent 💜
E.I.👌🙏❌⭕
What employers also look for
Yasss💜
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This is LITERALLY what I’m looking for in a man. Men have said horrific things to me during arguments that I didn’t forget. If you don’t hate me you shouldn’t be saying just ANY damn thing to me. There are rules to arguing and hitting below the belt just hurts the relationship.
Vice versa the world was created to balance yin&yang
This has happened to me too ):
This is spot on. Your body is drained of energy when you have to keep that level of anger going. Even the Hulk chills out and returns back to David Banner💆🏾♀️
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Bruce. Bruce Banner. But other than that I totally agree!! XD
WHEW! A word 🙌🏾
I’ve read enough romance novels to know this is exactly what women are attracted to in men as well.
Very true 😂😂😂😂😂these romance novels eh
@Ashley basically, neither men or woman…or anyone, responds to anger…..unless you are insecure and hate yourself, then you usually will try to prove yourself to that person (or you’ll match their anger and try to bowl them over with equal weighted emotions).
Good Advice. I just saw some dysfunction from a man I met recently. He started babbling on making assumptions about me. I didn't have the energy to respond, but if I had it would have cut his ego very quickly. Taking my queue to exit the situation.
Jacob ur cute
@Ashley that's so sweet.
Self control is very important, walk away and love thyself.
This is so true. I had two long term relationships in my twenties and nothing came of it.. honestly thank God for that. I was very emotionally unstable, argumentative, and disrespectful. Though they were immature as well I had to look at myself. Once I gave my heart to the Lord and changed I found my husband. A complete 180, and I am now emotionally stable, and submissive.
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i love this for you. im currently in my 20s going thru a breakup bc of the same issues you were dealing with. However I know the only way to grow through this is to look within myself and do the work!
@@delainacorin you got this 💪🏽
That was perfectly said 👏
I have been married over 6 years and my husband has always said he loves how I still treat him so well regardless of out disagreements. Great advise sir.
Been married 30 yrs, and if there isn’t mutual respect even during a disagreement, it’s gonna be rougher.
I am a " naturally soft spoken woman" I however am also passionate in many areas. You do not neccesarily have to be " loud" to get your point across. For example a few years ago a friend of mine shared a video of a young native woman named Sacheen Littlefeather accepting an award on behalf of Marlon Brando while shining a light on Hollywoods treatment of Indigenous culture. Her voice was full of conviction and clarity even though she was speaking above a whisper.
Love this answer. Especially regarding Marlon Brando who exposed how Hollywood exploits us indigenous ppl. I have seen him (now deceased)on Dick Cavit show speaking truths regarding the Aborigines of America and the employees of the show trying quietly/sly to shut him up.
I get what you're trying to say, but it's also problematic (not you, but society in general) to have an expectation of women either speaking at a submissively low volume or being perceived as "too loud/outspoken".
@@MsZephyra The ultimate thing we have to remember though is how do human beings in general respond to being yelled at? I get that we need to not subject ourselves to sexism but we also have to remember what does and doesn't bode well with humans in general.
@@MsZephyra Right. Fannie Lou Hamer demanded to be seated at the Democratic National Convention to talk about voting rights for Black people. Human beings typically respond to aggression. Non-violent communication is unnatural, which is why it's a tactic because it does not work in every situation.
Look up who Sacheen Littlefeather really was.
If you think about it, this tells you that men like to feel emotionally safe too. Being able to handle conflict well, allows the man to express himself in the same way. It’s like, when you call someone in their bullshit in a loving way that doesn’t pin them down to absolute condemnation, but allows a path to reconciliation and redeeming of self (what a good leader does, I think) makes anyone feel emotionally safe. It’s not that men or women can’t have emotions. It’s that allowing those emotions to destroy connections between people because they are used to be absolutely right (without allowing space for any other emotions to be expressed other than your own righteous indignation) rather than it is used to be understood and to understand the other person.
AMAZING.
I agree, but what if I was the one that was calm in the beginning of the relationship and trying to be that peace even though I've been through some stuff very prior to being with him which my ex already has anger issues, is a broken person and dealing with his own issues before me where I've been very good to this guy the best he ever had. He had told me plenty of times that he saw me in his future blah blah but I would always have my fears of being hurt and insecurities got the best of me, which led him to cheat on me back in June and broke up with me over a month ago. He would always tried and reassure me that he cares, and wants to be with me but it always gets to a point where he will raise his voice at me, get easily annoyed, never wants to hear what I have to say because he thinks addressing something bad is going to lead to a argument, which then it starts to frustrates me a lot, which would. I'm a highly sensitive and very emotional person so when it happens all I want to do it cry, not yell and talk it out. But yes there was times I've yelled out of frustration because to me it seems like I was always getting shut off when I wanted to resolve a issue or if I've feeling like I'm being personally attacked by the way he would come at me a all of the times because he will always compare me to what others did to him in his past. I only wanted to understand which again leads to being shut off but yes also understood not in a aggressive way but in an annoying way as in I could talk alot. The only time I came at him very harshly was when he cheated and told him I wanted to kill him because I was hurt by him not because of my past situations but was calm knowing about it and didn't want to argue, but it did got me feeling pissed off about it after wards. His reasoning to breaking up with me is that we kept going back and forth with I guess it has to do with the cheating situation and me always trying to find something and always reassuring me that he cares, wants to be with me etc. And by the way how we always would argue is by texting, but together we were mostly fine. I heard that he's looking for that GOOD woman, which Im so confused about, because at times it makes me feel like I wasn't good enough when I know I am and I know what areas I need to work on, while always trying my best with him by always wanting to have better communication with him and understanding and to just find ways to make it right. Mind you Im never the one if I had baggage like to carry it over to someone else to suffer with I also told him several times that we were rushing the relationship and that I didn't want my emotions to affect him that I wanted to start as friends and take it slow and grow from there but we would always get caught up with our feelings. So him seeing and knowing all of this but breaks up with me and wants to find a good women is very hurtful. I get what kev is saying about a women that has baggage and has anger issues and decides to carried over to a new relationship where the man is strong mentally and emotionally, I get that but in my situation my ex makes me feel like I am that angry, hurting person that wants to always fight, which I am not. I guess Im looking for reassurance on my situation. Sorry if this is long, which I mention I could go on and on..lol
@@0000ericam your insecurities didn’t make cause him to cheat on you. That’s a choice HE made by his own volition. That’s all I have to say right now.
@@0000ericam this is more for you to assess yourself (whether or not you identify with anyone of these types), not that he is a narcissist. It seems like you feel powerless at the moment. Hopefully this will help you get a little self knowledge. Oh! Also, check out the book, “The Disease to Please.” That book was a life changer for me.
@@seymorepencilart No I dont feel that I identify with those types cause I'm a patient, and calm person and have respect for how other ppl feel its only when I have to repeat myself or my feelings arent being taken serious like my feelings doesn't matter. But thanks for your help
I been learning to ask God to lead and guide me on what to say..when and how..and when to give space🙏🏽
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That’s a good prayer 🙏🏾
Being diplomatic in sitautions is hella attractive
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I like the phrase, “Love in such a way that the other person feels free.”
This is exactly what I did 3 years ago. I started dating this guy and we got in our first disagreement and I didn't curse I just stated why I was upset in a calm but stern tone. Right after that he said I love how you handled that!!! He's still my boyfriend today. This is true stuff Kev thank you so much for sharing!
I know exactly what you mean. I combined my feminine and masculine energy to address an issue I had with a guy. I spoke firmly, with clarity and soft but it that moment it was so grounded that he felt the seriousness of my message. Needless to say we never had such issue again. I felt good about it because I didn't lose my power in rage. I directed with a clear message. He respected that.
As Kev said, “handle it with grace” and not just with men, with all of your relationships. To learn to hold patience and control when certain situations arise - practicing mindfulness. I can count a number of bridges I’ve burned in the last few years, due to exactly the things he stated in the video. This is why I contribute to his Patreon each month. Would say, “wish I heard this a few months ago” but everything happens at the perfect time.
“You will not be punished for your anger. You will be punished by your anger.” - Siddhārtha Gautama
my name is siddhartha too and i am working on my anger too
Asè
Does arguing in a drive thru with a person in another vehicle count? 🤦🏾♀️I lost my cool on this lady today when she tried to use her van as a battering ram...and she honked her horn at me, all while my little impatient girl waited in the passenger seat. I lost my stuff on her. Then she tried to play victim. I told her no you don't. You don't get to play victim. You lose.
@@tanyataylor5310 I would call that standing up for what is right! Anger when protecting your child & yourself is totally different and sounds like you did the right thing to me!!
@@SR-rz9uj I am so glad someone can understand my indignation. I get it that men want peace but what makes them think women don't? 🤷🏾♀️
This makes sense. Emotional maturity.
Being able to handle conflict and having grace is my super power. I’ve noticed that because of this men tend to take me very seriously and are more willing to listen when I bring up a concern because he knows I won’t flip out over something trivial in the first place. I manage my emotions and take thought in my actions. Its on purpose.
I’m great at handling conflict and I’m still soft spoken even when I’m upset. I feel like I’m single because I rarely find men who are good at handling conflict as well as I do. And the ones that do speak well aren’t interested in me! Sigh… I guess I’ll have to keep looking till I find the right match. Cause some problematic men tend to hang on when you’re “difficult” or mean.
I agree with your last sentence. Some toxic men actually like 'difficult' women.
@@madonnauchehara7755 something about being a challenge makes the chase even more thrilling, right? But once they have u, they get bored. I no longer care if a guy isn’t interested because I’m too nice. An actual good guy would appreciate me.
@@shibear19 Exactly! Sometimes, men don't even know what they want. So why change from a loving, gentle person to please a man who is unsure of his preference? Just be you, girl.
Thank you for bringing this to light. I'm always telling women that our feminine nature is our power! We are the peace, the calm, and that energy is all a situation could need sometimes. 👏👏👏
WELL SAID
🤣🤣🤣
Absolutely, but not if you live with a narcissist or abuser!
@@goddessunivers3122 No Love, Especially if u live with a narc abuser. They feed that demonic spirit off of such anger, frustration, confusion, negative energy. That's why u r gaslit & felt to never be right, 2nd guessing urself. Try not reacting emotionally un front of them. If u get upset let it out in private. Ur CALM is their downfall. It's Kryptonite.
James 4:7
"So humble yourselves before God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you."
B blessed & b patient with urself. It took time to hook u in this unGodly snare of emotions, it will take time to get unhooked from the snare as well.
Smile & laugh ur way out while working ur plan. Peace
@@lizswanson426 , thank you for your wisdom words ❤🙌I absolutely agree with what you are saying!I will laugh again and will get myself back little by little! I can't while he is under one roof, trust me! And today is the first day of our separation/divorce! Looking forwards for new me, healing first etc.🙌
I agree but we get a free pass when we’re on our monthly cycle. 😂
Lol. True
Ya cuz I’m not thinking straight then😂
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You're not lying. I have been with mine going on 15 years. I was the type that lets things build, then explode. I had everything else right. It happened once a year. That was what was holding him back, my temper. How to get a hold of my emotions. Now that I listened to him and how he told me that held him back, I am working on it. A year later ,I have it under control. Think about what I say, how I say it. Put myself in his shoes and how I would feel if reversed. Fast forward, we're now engaged and getting married July 30th 2022. I fixed it with the help of counseling and my love for myself and him. It's like he's a different person and me. I have never felt so close or so much love from this man. All because I worked on myself and the one issue that was holding him back and myself.
Not throwing gasoline on a fire that's already raging is not only endearing, but smart. Controlling the tongue is often difficult , but wise. Good one Mr. Hicks!
This is so true!!! I love this… I am a big proponent of taking a time out when needed and never speaking disrespectfully to my man. I actually cringe when I hear women emasculate men or talk disrespectfully. The same of course is true for men and their communication with women. I try to live by the standard of not being in attack mode but when a situation is heated to stay level headed and even letting my partner know I need to walk away to gather myself rather than saying something or doing something I would regret
I love this Sis!!!you have spoken sooo so well!!!!A big thumbs up to u 👍 Erica!!!!
My dear some men are jst triggers. Their none stop aggression or need to show assertion can be a lot to deal with esp when you’ve already experienced something similar. Sigh 😔 it takes work. All you can do is try
@@MegaLadylove2012 you are right. It’s so important to remove these type of toxic men from your life. If I am around someone with those toxic behaviors I remove myself from them. They don’t get the pleasure of my presence.
Exactly! However, every time I tried to walk away, HE FOLLOWED ME! How frustrating and annoying is that?? I'm trying to calm myself, and you keep bothering me and asking questions. Make it make sense
My sentiments exactly ☺️
I LOVE BEING SINGLE ❤️
Rule1: Don't cook more than twice. He'll start expecting it.
Rule2: Commit to you business. It will never break your heart.
Rule3: The most important relationship you are in, is the one with yourself. You'll have to decide. Chase fairly tales or be your own hero. Where are you going to live when you are old??? Stop waiting for HIM, commit to your future. He will find you. Serious women, don't have time for toxic energy or drama. We have too much to lose ✨
Love this‼️❤️
💯
Yes!! So true Kev! Be angry but sin not. Be angry but still do what is right. Don’t gotta be going off and fighting, being vindictive. Emotional intelligence is very important.
I'm a woman, who loves men and I'm telling you what you mentioned is an attractive trait in a person period. I had a friend who was a girl, and I had to stop being friends with her because she would throw temper tantrums like she was a spoiled child. She was crazy! And my life is so much better without her in it.
Damn. I had one of those type of friends as well sis and you're right! Your life is so much better without that crazy taxic behavior.
Did the same with my sister...verbally and emotionally abusive, cruel, nasty. Don't care that she's a sibling either.
@@sjay19babybaybay93 You got that right...doesn't matter if they're a relative...toxic people. No one needs that crap in their life.
Yes indeed, calmness-steadiness, pragmatism and optimism is a big turn on for a man.
This makes me realize that sadly, I have not met stable, healthy men that appreciate this from a woman.
Same here
Honestly, this level of emotional intelligence is usually reached through SPIRITUAL AWARENESS and EFFECTIVE COUNSELING.
I agree with being emotionally mature very much. I remain so calm in my interactions with my specific person that he asks, "Are you mad at me?" He becomes puzzled that I just remain calm and serene. We hardly ever disagree, but when we do, I simply say what I have to say, we come to an agreement to resolve the issue, and then I drop it. It was actually sweet that he thought my kind, soft demeanor meant I was upset. I wasn't... He's never seen me angry. Ever. Not staying that it's not in me to roast and toast that azz when I do get upset. I'm just making a conscious decision not to 🚫
Unfortunately I learned this the hard way :( am usually the sweetest person when everything is going well but I handle conflict so badly. I lost the love of my life because of the hurtful things I said to him. I wanted to hurt him just as much as he hurt me but I over did it. I said things that I can never take back and God knows I didn't mean a single word but it's too late now
You are human and should not beat yourself up over what has already happen. Easier said than done. However, this is a lesson you have learned hopefully. You are now able to see that you made mistakes that you can’t fix and I bet your ex did as well, but you can work on yourself for next time. You have to decide that you will do things differently. Once you do it a couple of times, it becomes easier with each time you do. Put the time and effort into yourself and know you are worth it. If you don’t know your worth, then you won’t work to make changes for yourself.
Let me also add that if you and your partner can never have a discussion without fights, that’s not healthy. You and your partner should be able to discuss anything without their always being some big drawn out argument. At times it may happen but should never be a regular occurrence. I’m now 35, I wasn’t always this mature. Lol. So, know you deserve great things and amazing people, but work on yourself. Stop dwelling on the past because you can’t change it and start focusing on improving you.
Maybe instead of talking to him you should show him how you are changing(if), while being clear about exactly why you said those things.
Because those words have to originate from somewhere right? He might come back if you admit to him that you were saving his insecurities to hurt him. Men respect women who tell them the truth about themselves no matter how harsh it is. But he might not come back, at least you will have a sense of a closure.
Ur human… and u meant Every word u said. Probably been holding it in for a long time
Maybe he'll give it another try. I'll pray to the Lord, that he will.
Mastering *Emotional Intelligence* is the key "I" had to master and also leaving my lower vibrational frequency. Now, at my higher self? I handle things with grace. Thanks Kev for posting this video. ❤️💯
Same here
Go girl! I’ve been working on raising my vibration too and its working. I wish you well 😀
Kev - you sound like my ex 🤣🤣 frfr I wish I had known this when I was younger it would have saved me a lot of stress. I learned “rage” response from my mom & didn’t know any better until I started working on myself💔
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@@sneakytreats love is something that you don't give on you to give it another chance to grow ok dear.@@@###💗💗💗💗💗💗💗
@@sneakytreats trust me you won't regret ever going back to him after the help ok.@@##💝💝💓💓💓💝💝
I love this man he is so graceful in his delivery
I’ve heard some men with “issues” are extremely attracted to rage in women, I guess we’ll never understand 🤣
It's true. Abusive men or broken men love women who start a lot of drama. It strokes their ego.
This gives me hope for rage women and men with issues 😂😂😂
Thts why I smirk at women calling themselves good women
Yeah my ex was like that. When I’d get mad, he said it was “exciting”. No joke. I recently had drama with this guy at work who is a former suitor & the outcome was horrible yet he still wants me...even more than he did before.
@@sigmasiren777 some people thrive on drama and low vibrations because that’s where you meet them at and it’s “exciting”, yes.
The insight Kev’ Hicks makes known in plain words and realistic scenarios is one reason I enjoy listening and reflecting. Calm, cool and collected is maturity that commands respect. Seeking help to improve is better than seeking help to fix out-of-control anything.
Working issues out peacefully and respectfully is always best with everyone. Thank you Kevin for an excellent video once again.
I get what you’re saying kev that’s why I Refuse to continue to repeat myself or yell and scream at any man that don’t care about how he treat me or
If he’s not on my level. If he’s not willing to Listen and work with me to change anything that’s a conflict in the relationship I m not wasting my time with him.
The same thing works for women wanting this in men
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I was looking for this comment. A woman can only take so much. When you see a man that is consistently emotionally unhealthy………leave! He will eventually drag you down with him and then blame you because “you’re always angry.”
@@Shae_3 , right there 👊❤
Kev..I LOVE how you get right to it!! You simply name the steps and proceed to give clear-cut,straight to the point examples and solutions..it keeps me wanting more,as opposed to developing ADD from listening to some (not all) of these other influencers that could learn a thing or two from you on how to WRAP IT UP!!!
Very true!! You have to control your emotions and think about the relationship, in the long run. At the end of the day, men want peace and solve problems logically. Ladies we have so much power!
Hello if you need help coaching you in getting over your ex, get back your ex, and relationship advice.
±12563672256⏯⏯⏯⏯⏯????????
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@@sanantonio3326 ok is still available
I met this man recently and one of the first few questions he asked me was "what are you like when you're angry...how do you respond when you get really really angry?" No one's ever asked me that before. We had our first misunderstanding a few weeks later and I was ready to go from 0 -100 as I'm accustomed to doing ready to be argumentative...but he was so calm and and reasoned with me so gently, I've never had that before. The situation was resolved so easily and effortlessly...my heart opened up to him soo much more....
I’m learning this, what helps me is not caring so much. Some things just aren’t bringing up, women can be a nag sometimes. Not everything deserves your reaction but when it does, learn to handle it with grace. I watch Chinese historical dramas to learn this
I’m working on this currently, my temper and frustration levels are very high when triggered And it’s due to how passionate I am with everything. I’m a water sign and it’s a constant fight to control my emotions😔
Same
same. pisces moon here.
My Significant other & I had this conversation & he said that thru my calmness/quietness even when he's pissed me off its taught him to do the same thing as well as acknowledging my feelings while also being able to see other perspectives. Healing is important because you're not triggered or when you are you can verbalize without being verbally abusive, self validation your feelings are important but also keep in mind that no one needs to agree with your feelings!
This is so true!!!!! I have learned this in my current relationship! I almost lost the love of my life being the opposite of this! Learning how to love your spouse through the eyes of source (the most High) and having respect for my King blessed me with change in me.
Yes!!! I've learned that it's a red flag for me if a dude goes from 0-100 out of nowhere. I am a slow build. LIke baseball, I give you three strikes where I've responded or reacted with respect, understanding looking to resolve and de-escalate the situation. Sometimes that's walking away and saying nothing. So if a man just jumps up out of nowhere and is a hothead, then I just ride out. "It was nice meeting you. I don't think we're a match but I hope you find the person for you." And Scene! I'll quote her again and again, "When people show you who they are...beileve them." - Maya Angelou. Now i've learned to trust myself and my instints, without questioning it. If my spidey sense starts tingling, it's time to make a move. Thanks Kev for all your wise words. It's been super helpful.
Great and true advice… it’s a hard pill to swallow sometimes, no lie!
Even the toxic and narcissistic men who regularly fight and yell told me this 🤦🏻♀️
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such men deserve what they give you. no need to be calm and collected for them
I just ruined a relationship with a beautiful man because of my immaturity in this department. He wont come out and tell me he's not interested anymore due to my temperament but the signs are evident. My heart is tore to shreds and I'm so disappointed in myself but I realize I caused it all. 😔 😢 Gv thx for sharing keen advice. Lesson learned.
I understand what he said about "being scorned". I have developed good conflict management skills, but recently had the unfortunate experience of being with an abusive man. His anger and scorn has affected me, I have some healing to do, now that I'm on the other side. I hope to find a quality man to spend some time with soon, to get myself back on track and be reminded how reasonable, good-minded people treat one another 🙏🏽
Same here! You can't let man ever be disrespectful and abusive towards woman!
@@goddessunivers3122 🙏🏽
@@freshstrt3140 ❤
Yes,a healthy minded woman is in control of her emotions, it can be learned behavior..plus it takes two to argue, if you don't engage,the other person can't argue with themselves lol
I bow out gracefully. Not worth my energy. Period
Getting a handle on emotions is a challenge! Trust me, I'm bipolar and have learned the hard way about stepping away from aggression lol
The key to handle bipolar outbursts is to identify what things cause you stress. And, I'm talking about practicing this at all time. Just observe. Stress leads to anxiety, anxiety leads to depression, depression leads to bipolar disorder. Kill the root.
One of my younger brothers just confirmed everything you stated here. Great message!
When Kev said, “Oh my god”, he’s god damn right.
lol .. I felt the sincerity in it too. if that omg didnt say everything
Hi jacob
@4:24 I agree! Yes you are better off leaving instead of evolving for a man who is still emotionally unhealthy and disrespectful. Now you’re scorned because you did so much changing for the wrong man instead of just leaving and finding a healthier man.
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You did a great job of describing the view point from the male especially when you said You see our feminity in how we handle conflict with you as compared to our feeling protected by you in distress.... that makes sense because if you try to imagine how a man views it, he comes to the woman for his place to fail and he doesn't need to be cussed out he needs to be comforted.
You are 100% accurate. And I’m grateful for how you’ve said it. I’ve heard this before and struggled to change it. Hearing you say it has helped reinforce it for me. Thank you very much.
Now I'm in my 30s I finally adhere to this advice..it works in every way. You either sustain his respect or you keep your dignity. Its a win win.
Oohhh weee this video! I used to be that girl who would go for the jugular when I was mad or hurt. I’d talk about ya dead dog or ya dead granny. Giving no second thoughts about it. I am so very grateful to God for the growth and healing I’ve experienced over the past few years. I have more peace in my life now. 🧘🏾♀️ 🙏🏽
GOOD 4 U
LOL when you said ya dead dog and ya dead granny I fell out 🤣. I'm glad you dont go there anymore lol🙏🏾💕
Exceptional advice Kev!. I’ve blown up the bridge many times with a potentially good relationship because of my self respect turning into pride and Ego, But do keep in mind; this is dynamic is meant for a healthy relationship with a normal individual….. unfortunately I’ve had some narcissistic relationships in the past and they get under your skin in such a way that it just makes you just want to run for the hills and avoid any confrontation !! I don’t know how graceful that is or not, but with this personality type, there is no reasoning! You run as fast as you can and don’t ever look back.
There’s too many Darren jaxns on UA-cam and women are falling for it. You are a BREATH OF FRESH air, thank you Kev! 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽
Hello Kevin,
Thank you for this video! I agree with you 💯 percent. There are many women who stay grounded, pick their battles and speak their truth without yelling or demeaning a person. And, I like the fact that many have done the work on themselves, have taken accountability, and are better to their partner. Bravo all.👏 Wishing everyone much love and light. 💖
Kev, that is one of if not the most beneficial and distinctly relevant pieces of advice I've heard in a long time. For someone who has struggled through unimaginable abuse and also a psych major, I appreciate this pearl of wisdom. Thank you so much, God bless.
Kevin you are brilliant. I hold you in high esteem. Thank you for your advice and words of wisdom. I’ve shared your channel with many.
Dear sir, let me say, this is GOLD. I have seen this, it is truthful, especially when dealing with a good, powerful man. Thank you!!!!
I so agree. You have a profound way with words. You don't just know what you're talking about, but your delivery is so impactful and wise.. You are gifted, Thank you.
>> 2021's edition of "women aren't allowed to be angry". When i get mad i take a nap.
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😂😂🙏
@ L. Fox I have to agree, at least with the way it’s currently presented.
The Angry, Therefore, Unattractive™️ stereotype has been used to shame women-and especially black/brown women-into silence and compliance for hundreds of years.
Women are still gaslit, in a myriad of micro- and macro-aggressions daily throughout our lives, that any anger from us renders us undateable, at best. And at worst? The price for what is actually justifiable anger will be death.
While I think Kev is his usual caring and wise self in his intent with this one, his impact is quite tone deaf.
I call bull. Having done a lot of my personal work to be a healthy partner, I feel these are things we all hope Men look for in women. I see most men in SoCal choosing "the crazy chick" because they love that hot/cold dynamic. I think Men need this Coaching just as much as women.
You're so right. Thank you very much. I'm watching this happen in my relationship currently! Give thanks👏🏾🙌🏾🧘🏾♀️🙏🏾.
Every word is always so perfectly articulated. Thank you so much brother Kev, you are changing lives trust me 🙏🏼
This is good!!! These are things I can take to God to make sure I’m healed from things of my pass, so that I don’t take any toxic behavior in my new relationship.
Let the truth be told, Kev! This video contained great advice and information for us women who are desiring to work on becoming a ‘better version’ of ourselves regardless! Thanks, Kev!
Loyalty is everything for a man. Women should consider that before coming together. Peace ✌️…..
This is gold, y’all. He is speaking the truth, ladies. This is key if you want a good, worthy man to take you seriously! I’ve seen it first hand myself!👌🏻
I bring the fire when I feel constantly disrespected... Great advice though healthy relationships will flow this way!
Me too
But what defines handling conflict appropriately? While the obvious things not to do are screaming, fighting, namecalling, etc... what is the line of handling conflict appropriately vs. being submissive? How do we know what is standing up for ourselves and expressing our feelings vs. letting things slide or not communicating enough? It would be good to see the nuances explained a bit more on this subject
It takes one time. Meaning if you have never you should and if you have, don't.
Personally, it's not conflic avoidance (letting things slide, not communicating, etc)
Effective conflict handling is putting across your view, opinion, or feeling in a calm, logical manner. Expressing those thoughts clearly and directly in a respectful, non-emotional, non-accusatory, and solution-minded manner.
While having the understanding/wisdom that this other person thinks & believes differently (because of their values, upbringing, environment, etc), and not dismissing that person's feelings/opinions/thoughts as false, unworthy, or wrong.
Sometimes, you agree to disagree. Other times, how one puts forth their point of view can influence the opposing party to change his/her mind.
Think of how you could be called to a CEO's or Senator's office to discuss a matter that they/you disagree with. We'd be professional in how we articulate our POV whilst respectfully disagreeing with their POV.
If we exercise such emotional restraint in professional settings, then we should be able to bring those skills into our relationships.
And it's also knowing which issues need escalating (to discussion level) and which battles are not worth an argument.
Eg discussions about where to live, when to have children, what house to buy, etc should be had.
But hubby wearing the same jacket or cap everyday is not something I'd pick an argument on or nag him about. I'd just buy him more jackets/caps of the same style (and even color😂) so he's got alternatives. It's not an area where my opinion of the jacket should matter more than his feelings/attachment to it.
The same way he'd not nag me about my bright eyeshadow or wig because he sees it's important to me or something I like.
@@lexussykes What????
I really need answers to this as well.
@@NazarofGod well said
Thank you so much for this, Kev. Extremely enlightening.
The pop-up of "The context here is healthy- minded non-abusive men" DAMN. You have my subscription, following, respect, and appreciation!
Wusah, Numyohoarangankohhh!!🤣
Thanks for the video Kev, loved the perspective n yes it did make a whole lot of sense especially when it comes to conflict management n if it's required to acquire a new skill set which will only make you a better person and also a very level- headed cool, and calm woman with that amazing feminine energy, that will balance and compliment with the masculine/male energy, then why not?!
Helpful n very thought provoking
❤️😇🤗
Assertiveness is important.
Kev Hick…your common sense, insight and direct communication are a breath of fresh air ❤️
💯 accurate,
Thank you, Kev! I need to take you class cause now I have some more questions I need clarity on! Preach my brother! ✊🏼👏🏽👏🏽
I am a broken person and I did so many bad things in life. Now I am trying to change my behaviour by slowly becoming unbothered by things. Thank you for this advice.
Same
This is how I ruined my first relationship when I was young❤️ Glad I learned
I love your humbleness Kev. You out here giving women hope. I know good men exist. We appreciate you brother!
TRUTH! I almost fell into the trap of having yet another argument filled and sometimes volatile relationship. I immediately noticed it and started being more rational now. It has caused my bf of 8 months to respond differently and become more affectionate. He gets argumentative too but more so when confronted with aggression. I expressed that I refuse to participate in destructive agreements ever again. I'd sooner leave the relationship then get caught in that cycle. He wholeheartedly agrees and we're happy.
This is true, and it took me a very long time to get this. My dude actually complimented me on how I handle myself when I’m upset. But this applies to all situations in life. I realized that acting like that, just wasn’t getting me anywhere, and I ran off a lot of men.
Haven’t watched Kev in a while and I’ve missed my big brother ,you changed my love life and made me a better woman ,said it before and I’m saying it again I love how your content empowers generally
As for “don’t appear as a scorned woman who’s trying to set everything around her on fire “😹😹😹😹😹😹✋🏻✋🏻✋🏻 I can’t
I love how real you keep it in this channel.
Why is this video not viral yet? OMG Kev you put out some exceptional to the point content but this video is one of the most important videos I've watched. This trait is SUPER SUPER important to making a relationship work. BF & i just had a fight over something dumb (my bad) and after we made up, he checked me that i was talking a little more aggressive and that i didn't need to in order to get point across. I apologized for unknowingly hurting him and thanked him for reminding me to "fight fair and kindly because we value each other". Thanks for your intuition and ability to communicate with us to understand the importance of this trait. 🙏👏
That analogy re the value of a woman handling conflict provides a man the same feeling that a woman receives when she is protected by a man...🔥🔥🔥🔥. Understood your point from a logical and reasoned perspective, I.e. No one wants to engage in a loud screaming match with someone they care about; but that analogy allowed me to FEEL the relief a man has. For a woman, that emotional connection allows me to see it more clearly. Bars.
Emotional intelligence is one of the skills I had been able to acquire... everything you are saying is true
Well said, thank you for explaining this 🙏🏽🥰❤️👏🏼
That's what I did well I believe during our first conflict and I needed to hear this again. Thanks Kev .
Not raggedy!!! I hear you💪🏾😎💕