Medieval 2 - What Your Favourite Faction Says About YOU?

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  • Опубліковано 24 лис 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 608

  • @MelkorGG
    @MelkorGG  4 роки тому +156

    Which one are you?
    Although I fit into several of these, I lean towards England and Sicily.
    And, as always, let me know if you want more : )

    • @maxgrozema1093
      @maxgrozema1093 4 роки тому +2

      Milan just to field the xX1337_Sn1p3RXx crossbow armies

    • @alexandrebirk1948
      @alexandrebirk1948 4 роки тому +4

      france andd byzanthium and hongry for me

    • @deandeathstrike9398
      @deandeathstrike9398 4 роки тому +3

      Byzantium 😎 for restoring the old roman Empire and convert western Europe to Orthodox as one and only true christian

    • @dallanmiller1714
      @dallanmiller1714 4 роки тому +3

      Egypt for sure

    • @MsSirAndy
      @MsSirAndy 4 роки тому

      spain and Eastern Rome

  • @generalknoxx8690
    @generalknoxx8690 4 роки тому +704

    Byzantium: Wants to play the romans but doesnt have Rome total war

    • @nocturnered281
      @nocturnered281 4 роки тому +56

      More like wants to play as romans but in medieval

    • @generalknoxx8690
      @generalknoxx8690 4 роки тому +3

      @@nocturnered281 sure I guess

    • @JB-xl2jc
      @JB-xl2jc 4 роки тому +39

      See, Byzantium should be allowed to make a level 3 road just like in Rome Total War. Then I’d play as them every time. I like making roads and farms.

    • @NeptuneGuy78
      @NeptuneGuy78 4 роки тому +24

      I wish the Byzantine units looked a bit more historically accurate

    • @Iason29
      @Iason29 4 роки тому +8

      When you have enough time in life for games but cant afford to buy Rome TW for 3 euros on sale, is kinda sad

  • @Claudiustheimmortal
    @Claudiustheimmortal 4 роки тому +568

    Scotland: When you're in a medieval mood, but you seriously miss your phalanx formations.

    • @Iason29
      @Iason29 4 роки тому +70

      Phalanx formations? you mean the fancy visuals that disappear the minute enemy is engaged and your pikemen fight and die like a horde of peasants

    • @RocketHarry865
      @RocketHarry865 4 роки тому +28

      Scotland: Timetravellers who can't get it in their head that it was England who sold out to Scotland and not the other way round

    • @jsy358
      @jsy358 4 роки тому +7

      @@Iason29 You can make them fight all time with the pike with a trick but they become waaay to broken

    • @christianflores3437
      @christianflores3437 3 роки тому +2

      @@jsy358 so fucking difficult I try but can't

    • @Iason29
      @Iason29 3 роки тому +4

      @@jsy358 yea i think i remember the trick you are saying. It has to do with making sure you don't have Guard mode on then they auto push the enemy with the pikes but even that is broken cause if you stop their push, even with guard mode off the pikes end up disappearing again. in general pikes only reappear only once an enemy is defeated.

  • @a.w.sawtooth9469
    @a.w.sawtooth9469 2 роки тому +153

    *Portugal*
    “Okay, people, we’re the laughing stock of this game. That’s not good! We need to think of a way to gain serious credibility among the players, cement our name in greatness!”
    *Someone stands up and suggests*
    “I’ve got it! Why don’t we conquer the Kingdom of Spain, uniting Iberian-Latin peoples into a single united front against the Muslims to our south. Then, invade Cordoba and push the Moors off our peninsula! Maybe keep pushing south to conquer and colonize the African coast!”
    *Portugal*
    “That’s completely ridiculous! I have a better idea..”
    *Invades Wales for no reason*

    • @Ryder2010G6
      @Ryder2010G6 2 місяці тому +2

      Just came from an England campaign almost done with Portugal randomly attacking Caernavron. My only interaction with Portugal had been trade agreement and map information. Nothing else, no allies, no nothing :))

    • @Subtl443
      @Subtl443 Місяць тому +2

      I'm playing a portuguese campaing right now and instead that i make an alliance with spain with a marriage, then i'm in my way to destroy the moors (i take all their settlements in Iberia and 1 in Africa), france randomly attacked me and Spain is helping me with that lol

  • @ramiromen6595
    @ramiromen6595 4 роки тому +801

    If someone´s favorite faction is Milan you shouldn't trust them

    • @dazeen9591
      @dazeen9591 4 роки тому +85

      I honestly always thought that Milan is the wildcard in the hotseats. It can pretty much choose who it murders.
      England is beating France? Just yoink the French settlements before the English.
      France is winning against England? Befriend HRE and attack France.
      Pope excommunicated you? Kill the Pope while they're fighting Venice or Sicily.
      HRE attacks you as their first target? Just negotiate with Denmark, Poland and Venice to destroy them early.
      Like idk. Milan can be a very diplomatically devious faction. It doesn't really have a clear enemy as all the other factions are too busy fighting someone else. If they want to kill Milan first when then they'll most likely have to fight a 1v2 war and others might just jump in the fray to get their own piece of the pie.

    • @Roger-ws8rj
      @Roger-ws8rj 4 роки тому +2

      Lmao 🤣 🤣 🤣

    • @The_Custos
      @The_Custos 4 роки тому +17

      @@dazeen9591 last campaign I remember, Milan decided to exterminate the Papacy. Milan, WHAT are you doing?

    • @The_Custos
      @The_Custos 4 роки тому +9

      @LordGroyperAF too right.
      Also I know a Milan player that cheated on and left his wife, so it all makes sense.

    • @ForgottenNoble
      @ForgottenNoble 3 роки тому

      😈

  • @WILLIAN_1424
    @WILLIAN_1424 4 роки тому +728

    Poland: "you want to play as russia.."
    Me and the Slavs: *Trigered*

    • @nocturnered281
      @nocturnered281 4 роки тому +26

      Exactly, fighting between slavs, its part of slav culture
      If you want to play a Rus (cough, cought Novgorod!) there should be poland nearby

    • @WILLIAN_1424
      @WILLIAN_1424 4 роки тому +10

      @@nocturnered281 true, its impossible in a strategy game to put only one slavic faction, because if they put lessa than at least two there would be no fight in the balkans and eastern and central europe

    • @nocturnered281
      @nocturnered281 4 роки тому +4

      @@WILLIAN_1424 yeah i play first turns as Novgorod and already fight for kiev and few other cities like torun and galich (i think its 32 turn) and fights just hilarious (polish royalty and boyar children with kazachs just runs back and forward trying to hit each other with different projectiles)

    • @WILLIAN_1424
      @WILLIAN_1424 4 роки тому +5

      @@nocturnered281 yeah .... i wonder why the Rus use kazakhs in the game.....

    • @nocturnered281
      @nocturnered281 4 роки тому +5

      @@WILLIAN_1424 not sure, maybe recruited from southern parts like steppe folk, but its might be better for them to be as mercenary, its would be better
      Maybe as unit which should be starting misile cavalry before kazaks

  • @CollinBuckman
    @CollinBuckman 4 роки тому +277

    I would add to HRE players: You likely have a burning hatred for Italian factions.

    • @damjan4435
      @damjan4435 4 роки тому +24

      As a byz player myself, i share their sentiment

    • @Perfectly_Cromulent351
      @Perfectly_Cromulent351 4 роки тому +15

      Fuck Milan

    • @DangeHD
      @DangeHD 4 роки тому +15

      I would add: you´re German and want to create the German Empire a little bit earlier.

    • @hyper_5pace902
      @hyper_5pace902 4 роки тому +2

      That's part of the reason yes, when I play hre I play top down by taking Scandinavia early then moving onto exterminate Milan

    • @CollinBuckman
      @CollinBuckman 4 роки тому +8

      @@hyper_5pace902 Every single time I play the HRE I swear Milan and Venice pretty much immediately attack, and then the Pope threatens to excommunicate me when I fight back and start winning against the two,

  • @MotionlessScreamer
    @MotionlessScreamer 4 роки тому +153

    I'm the angry Portuguese you're looking for.

    • @diguinho6957
      @diguinho6957 4 роки тому +4

      o gajo e bue estupido caga nisso, pensa que é so bacalhaus e nada mas. mas nos somos bons seus ingleses ingratos ahahhaahah

    • @miguelsilva1446
      @miguelsilva1446 4 роки тому +3

      Portugal is best

    • @ZecaPinto1
      @ZecaPinto1 4 роки тому

      Na na! Tu és é o presbítero!

    • @endo4137
      @endo4137 4 роки тому +2

      Here to back you up, portugal is best faction in medieval 2 . 11/10. Best Spain. Castile Spain number 0

    • @diguinho6957
      @diguinho6957 4 роки тому +1

      @@endo4137 bro so pq diz que tem pouca dichiplina... conquistadores, pavise crossbowmen, dismounted nobles, jinetes, fire arms and knigths of santiago. e isso a espanha perde no crossbowmen e na infantaria

  • @Ganonmustdie2
    @Ganonmustdie2 4 роки тому +265

    Looking at Byzantium:
    What the world sees--a declining medieval power holding onto vestiges of former glory despite intense political corruption eating it away from the inside, an outdated army, and enemies pushing in from all sides.
    What a Byzantium player sees--marble statues adorning magnificent imperial palaces surrounded by the emperor's "legions" (really just a bunch of dismounted latinkon). The emperor insists the dark ages never happened for some odd reason.

    • @directrulefromgamerchair3947
      @directrulefromgamerchair3947 4 роки тому +27

      *dismounted Byzantine Lancers
      Apart from that... LIES ROME NEVER FELL ROMA VICTOR lol

    • @ramenbomberdeluxe4958
      @ramenbomberdeluxe4958 4 роки тому +15

      Emperor: There is no war in Constantinople...
      *Meanwhile, the distant sounds of Hashashim murdering everyone can be heard.*

    • @Kbuildsmodels_24
      @Kbuildsmodels_24 4 роки тому +11

      The Byzantine roaster is alot better with the Stainless Steel Mod than Vanilla

    • @directrulefromgamerchair3947
      @directrulefromgamerchair3947 4 роки тому +7

      @@Kbuildsmodels_24 yeah. Almost every mod with the ERE in have much better units for them than vanilla

    • @TealWolf26
      @TealWolf26 4 роки тому +15

      I keep trying to play Byzantine Empire but everytime I do, Rome Total War boots up after turn ten. Anyone else having this issue?

  • @fatmanyevo6235
    @fatmanyevo6235 4 роки тому +142

    Yes, yes it has always been for the voice acting.

  • @Randomstuffs261
    @Randomstuffs261 4 роки тому +188

    0:14 *That awkward moment when Melkor Exterminates himself*

    • @napoleoncomplex2712
      @napoleoncomplex2712 4 роки тому +7

      Its alright, he'll respawn once the Holy Roman Emperor gets the One Ring to Rome.

  • @littlekuribohimposte
    @littlekuribohimposte 4 роки тому +95

    England. They taught me a valuable lessom:
    With enough longbows every battle is Agincourt

    • @alifkazeryu8228
      @alifkazeryu8228 4 роки тому +2

      try using demi-lancers. it's really fun to charge infantry using them. or should I point you why Armoured Swordsmen is rightful cheating?

    • @krvproductions6642
      @krvproductions6642 3 роки тому

      Also any knight unit with billmen/heavy billmen at the flanks is op

    • @silasgabriel4462
      @silasgabriel4462 Рік тому +2

      With enough artillery, every battle becomes Pavia.

  • @aposapocalypse7117
    @aposapocalypse7117 4 роки тому +138

    As a portuguese i can confirm you are absololutly right.

    • @fabiocosta3830
      @fabiocosta3830 4 роки тому +11

      Only reason i ever play Spain. To unlock o melhor país do jogo!

    • @legiohysterius4624
      @legiohysterius4624 3 роки тому

      I mean I like portagul cause I like a more challenging start some times

    • @EricTheActor805
      @EricTheActor805 3 роки тому

      I love playing as Portugal, they are probably my 3rd favorite faction to play as after Venice and Scotland

    • @legiohysterius4624
      @legiohysterius4624 3 роки тому

      @@EricTheActor805 I've yet to play Scotland what makes em fun cept the accent

    • @EricTheActor805
      @EricTheActor805 3 роки тому

      @@legiohysterius4624
      They are my favorite to Crusade with
      Take over Britian and Ireland and they retake the Holy Land
      They have a interesting Unit Roster, great heavy infantry

  • @atorCibbon
    @atorCibbon 4 роки тому +52

    i was waiting for hungary and all i got was hungry joke number 784563373 FeelsBadMan

    • @MelkorGG
      @MelkorGG  4 роки тому +9

      XD They almost got cut out of the video entirely.

    • @atorCibbon
      @atorCibbon 4 роки тому +1

      @@MelkorGG atleast we didnt get dacia'd

    • @GoErikTheRed
      @GoErikTheRed 4 роки тому +2

      @@MelkorGG Very disappointed you didn't make a Sabaton reference

  • @Vektordeformacio
    @Vektordeformacio 4 роки тому +96

    The hungary joke was just so bad.

    • @zhouwu
      @zhouwu 4 роки тому +1

      I thought their battlefield assassins were pretty good. Did they have Naffatuns? I like those.

    • @dimitrifouras3505
      @dimitrifouras3505 4 роки тому +3

      That was the best part of the whole video

    • @Iason29
      @Iason29 4 роки тому +1

      yea but trust them with what? your lands and daughters perhaps

    • @danielmajor2766
      @danielmajor2766 3 роки тому +10

      As a hungarian i tired of these type of jokes anymore... And idk where these battlefield assassin's came from they are never exist in hungary. Maybe the cumans or the székely lófők was much unique units like AD1212 mod in Attila Total war

    • @legiohysterius4624
      @legiohysterius4624 3 роки тому +1

      @@danielmajor2766 of course we have record of the Hungarian assassins the were just that good. In all seriousness I'd love to hear how mideval hungary actually fought.

  • @armandicus7261
    @armandicus7261 4 роки тому +61

    I play aztecs
    But i give myself cheat ships and invade europe

  • @АлексейКозлов-щ4г
    @АлексейКозлов-щ4г 4 роки тому +64

    >Venice: establishing trade, developing characters...
    Meh, let’s take Constantinople and Rome at the same 20th or so move and have an agrarian empire with all your ports blockaded simply because you couldn’t care less about trade

  • @szczesliwekomunikacjeladow383
    @szczesliwekomunikacjeladow383 4 роки тому +50

    Poland: You're either Polish, or watched Battle of Vienna too many times

    • @boshengjones1778
      @boshengjones1778 2 роки тому +3

      Poland was my favourite back in medieval total war. Very unique strategy, turtling up and build a fleet that eventually occupy every sea square. Take opportunity to conquer Sweden and Norway, jump over to Scotland and Ireland. Medieval 1 had the best music score.

    • @PobortzaPl
      @PobortzaPl 8 місяців тому

      ​@boshengjones1778 MTW 1 and Polish Retainers. MTW 1 and conquering everything East from Poland and be able to dead stop Mongols.
      But most important part of playing Poland is being able to crush both, German and Russian factions

  • @BernatDukat
    @BernatDukat 4 роки тому +55

    Hearing that Hungary joke as a hungarian just 1 million times is be: :I :I

    • @MelkorGG
      @MelkorGG  4 роки тому +4

      XD

    • @markghostproductions3697
      @markghostproductions3697 3 роки тому +12

      There is no such thing as 'Hungary.'
      There is only
      Magyar.

    • @BernatDukat
      @BernatDukat 3 роки тому +6

      @@markghostproductions3697 Ja csak az, hogy magyar senki nem éri külföldön... nem hiába használjuk az hogy Hungary 😂

    • @markghostproductions3697
      @markghostproductions3697 3 роки тому +5

      @@BernatDukat
      I have no idea what you just said.
      I'm your Balkan neighbour BTW

    • @lewismoffat918
      @lewismoffat918 3 роки тому +7

      Well if you would just hurry up and finish Turkey we can stop making the joke

  • @juanbarbosasiguenza5883
    @juanbarbosasiguenza5883 4 роки тому +21

    Moors: you want spain, but without having problems with the pope

    • @AxelHenx
      @AxelHenx Рік тому

      f the pope, muslim nations where so much more fun without a def spiritual leader and the ability to declare holy war way to easy.

    • @Ramencat-s9u
      @Ramencat-s9u 9 місяців тому +4

      Moors: you are a moroccan nationalist dreaming about the almohads every night

  • @sld1776
    @sld1776 4 роки тому +22

    Spain: it says I like beating on weaker opponents before taking on a divided France.

  • @christos49
    @christos49 4 роки тому +39

    I pretty much fit into every stereotype. I pretty much only play Catholic Factions and the only time i havent is as byzantium to remake rome and Egypt to defend against crusades. I have never played nor intend on playing portugal as i am not a Portuguese national. A missed opportunity with Russia: these players want to create the USSR and Conquer all of Europe. I have planned on doing this but havent because i cant be botherd to spent the first 100 turns traveliing armies into distant rebel terretories. Also playing as HRE to conquer Europe for the Reich aswell.

    • @vdre6741
      @vdre6741 2 роки тому +2

      **Play Russia**
      **Conquer western Europe**
      **Lost every eastern city to the Mongol**

  • @cuentaparacomentar8737
    @cuentaparacomentar8737 4 роки тому +33

    Venice:you are a handsome fellow, probably well gifted in all aspects of life except respecting people from the Bosphorus.
    And yeah hating Genoese is a virtue, THE virtue all things considered.

    • @addochandra4745
      @addochandra4745 2 роки тому

      How about hating Byzantium??

    • @fede98k54
      @fede98k54 Рік тому +1

      ​@@addochandra4745not hate, just business™

  • @mattgardiner614
    @mattgardiner614 3 роки тому +22

    No, seriously, what about the Moors? One of my favourite factions to play. Several easy territories to claim in North Africa, and good territories to use as a launching pad to take out Spain and Portugal.

    • @hannibalburgers477
      @hannibalburgers477 2 роки тому

      I have a burning hatred for moors as they keep attacking around mediterranean, but are not consistent enough to either conquer territories, or accept peace.
      They just attack you, you defeat them. Then send a diplomat for peace. They wont accept. You forgot about them for 30 turns, they attack you again with a smaller army. You defeat them and so forth.
      You don't want to conquer them too because of the world map and how far away the cities are

    • @mattgardiner614
      @mattgardiner614 2 роки тому

      @@hannibalburgers477 Hi Hannibal. Thanks for your reply. I've never really been troubled by the Moors unless I'm Sicily, Portugal or Spain.
      I prefer to play as a faction on the periphery of the map for defensive reasons. (England, Denmark, Moors) and nothing to the right of the Italian Peninsula so that I can avoid having to deal with the Mongols and Timurids.
      It's a different game, but your experience with the Moors in Medieval 2 reminds me of how much I detest the Egyptians in Rome: Total War. My last game I was playing as Armenia, and Egypt kept attacking me. Even when I made peace or even agreed to become their vassal, they kept doing it. Sometimes on the very next turn. All my neighbours except one were at war with me, so I had money problems, and I had to spend my limited funds on replenishing my garrisons rather than on new buildings. That being said, it's a big ask to win a Rome Campaign as anyone other than the Scipii or Brutii.
      My only 2 complaints about Medieval 2 are 1) The AI is FAR too aggressive. And 2) I think the number of territories needed for victory is a little high too. I would rather have the aggression level set to a similar level as, say, Empire: Total War.

    • @thetzar2573
      @thetzar2573 2 роки тому +1

      Yeah, I'm playing as Portugal right now, but Cordoba is easily the biggest city in the world. Followed closely by Lisbon of course. I just think that their late game units are objectively worse compared to the other Western nations.

    • @mattgardiner614
      @mattgardiner614 2 роки тому

      @@thetzar2573 Hi. Funny about the Portuguese cities: You'd think London, Constantinople, and Rome would all be bigger.
      I've started playing the Stainless Steel Mod. You can actually adjust the AI aggression levels in the set up.

  • @HistoryofAztlan
    @HistoryofAztlan 4 роки тому +14

    Who doesn’t like playing as the Turks and conquer Constantinople 400 years early with ballistas and catapults?
    With Spain, after I learned about Charles V, I wanted to recreate his Holy Roman Empire culminating with the conquest of the Americas.

  • @NikiGalabov
    @NikiGalabov 4 роки тому +36

    Byzantium, of course - because I want to reform the Roman Empire - spot on again, Melkor! :D And yes I play mostly as Byzantium in other medieval games, how did you know? :D

  • @honestlordcommissarbrighte7921
    @honestlordcommissarbrighte7921 4 роки тому +11

    I don't like being attacked so blatantly.
    So what if I pick Byzantium every chance I get. Byzantium foreveah

  • @rdemonitized3645
    @rdemonitized3645 4 роки тому +34

    when it comes to people who say milan is op i have ptsd of venice

  • @spartandud3
    @spartandud3 4 роки тому +7

    Moors: Hello I'm Mr Krabs and I like money.
    Poland: You've listened to Sabaton one too many times.
    Holy Roman Empire: Either you don't know the definitions of Holy, Roman, or Empire. Or you want to SUMMON THE ELECTOR COUNTS!
    Byzantium: Because you're not a fucking barbarian!

  • @KingOfStopMotion
    @KingOfStopMotion 7 місяців тому +2

    Poland: You wanted Winged Hussars, and were disappointed.

  • @RESIST_DIGITAL_ID_UK
    @RESIST_DIGITAL_ID_UK 7 місяців тому +1

    The first part with England before you said you were joking is actually surprisingly accurate. Whenever I say to myself that I want to get back into medieval 2, I always start out with England to get back into the groove of the game. Then after playing as England I feel tired of the game again and don’t play for a while. So it’s just an endless cycle of playing as England for me lmao.

  • @Volkaer
    @Volkaer Рік тому +14

    Milan's awesome for the sheer fact that pretty much ALL the units you're going to use for the duration of the campaign come from towns, and you can just convert all your castles. And your crossbowmen are on par or better than other nations' castle ranged units - all the while being flagged as militia for free upkeep.
    Also never been to Portugal, have no relations, but gonna defend them anyway as I think it's the best faction - for the following reasons:
    You get the best rounded armies overall. Every other nation ends up lacking something. England has good range but lacks spear walls and phalanxes. Scotland lacks ranged units. France lacks gunpowder infantry late game. Everyone else likewise misses something that you would want in your army composition. Portugal on the other hand gets Aventuros for their spear-wall frontline, who are second best only to Scotland's pike infantry. They get pavise crossbowmen that are max range x/bow infantry with solid defense and offense. In gunpowder age, they don't fall off like many other nations, and have access to longest range Basilisk cannons. They also get the best frontline gun infantry as Portugese Arquebuses have more armor than other nations' hand gunners - making them viable in melee, especially when supported by Aventuros - and they still have access to the long-range Musketeers for the backline. To top it all off, they get better cannon ships than other nations, and solid militia with swordsmen militia who are almost as good as dismounted knights, with pike militia support for phalanx spear-wall.
    Basically what you said about Sicily having any and all options available to them, whether you like to go infantry, cavalry, archers, gun units - Portugal does all that while giving you better options than Sicily does.
    Genuinely don't know why you WOULDN'T want to play Portugal - purely based on what they offer in their army roster selection. Would love to hear why you think otherwise though as I just don't see it. The starting position isn't as bad as any mid-European nation either - since you can conquer Spain and the Moorish cities pretty quickly, and then it's just a matter of holding that crossing down South towards Moors, while Zaragoza and Pamplona are easy to reinforce as defensive cities into Europe. My only criticism of Portugal would be reliance on Castles for Aventuros late game (if you are still using them to counter enemy cavalry) - but that's pretty much every faction with very few exceptions (refer back to Milan)

    • @badonkadonk6655
      @badonkadonk6655 8 місяців тому

      You have convinced me to play Portugal in the future lol (Still tryna finish a campaign kek)

    • @KasumiRINA
      @KasumiRINA Місяць тому

      Only reason for not playing Portugal is not having proper naval combat or exploration, though in vanilla there's at least America.

  • @shivanSpS
    @shivanSpS 3 роки тому +12

    I played Sicily for the first time last week, and i have to say that just as Milan players play for the Crossbow militia, Sicily has these very powerfull Muslim Archers, they are like a slightly worse version of the Mongol Infantry, compared to the Milan Crossbows, they are worse at range, but they are FAR better at melee. They have more attack and more morale so they do not inmidiately break. Other thing, Sicily is kinda the only Catholic faction that can ignore other catholic factions and go to africa/egypt/turks territory This was the only time that i had a good relation with the pope the entire campaign.

  • @oGoldero
    @oGoldero 3 роки тому +6

    My type of player:
    *In cavalry we trust.*

  • @alexiosviapokios3057
    @alexiosviapokios3057 4 роки тому +14

    The Byzantium one is way too accurate, I play that nation in most other medieval games too

  • @maxfifas
    @maxfifas 4 роки тому +94

    Why choose Portugal?
    Because... PORTUGAL CARALHO!

    • @FaithfulOfBrigantia
      @FaithfulOfBrigantia 4 роки тому +4

      This meme is absolutely terrible.
      Please just let it die.

    • @miguelsilva1446
      @miguelsilva1446 4 роки тому +13

      Portugal Caralho

    • @FaithfulOfBrigantia
      @FaithfulOfBrigantia 4 роки тому +4

      You do realise this meme only makes us sound like ignorant apes who cannot put together a simple argument and form coherent sentences and thus resorts to screaming louder right?
      You do realise that blind nationalism is a quintessential trait of the underdeveloped, uneducated third world right?
      Every time you post a Portugal Caralho meme, you might think you look proud and confident, but you really only look pathetic and makes us all look bad.
      Stop behaving like this, we are better than that.

    • @johanmikkael6903
      @johanmikkael6903 4 роки тому +5

      @@FaithfulOfBrigantia mood

    • @The_Custos
      @The_Custos 4 роки тому +5

      A V E N T U R O S

  • @NotlostMoon
    @NotlostMoon 4 роки тому +11

    I played Venice for the Italian militia and its instantly playable, so by the time PS, Milan, or Sicily were brought in my campaign already started.

  • @dazeen9591
    @dazeen9591 4 роки тому +13

    Papal State: you're playing a hotseat with friends and want to piss them off
    If you do this multiple times you start to wonder why you are the first faction to be destroyed everytime or that you have no friends

  • @denniseggert211
    @denniseggert211 3 роки тому +4

    I like France and the HRE the most. Kind of in the middle of Europe a lot is going on with your neighbours. They start pretty powerful but have to tend for their borders or your rivals quickly pick up on you.

  • @44theshadow49
    @44theshadow49 4 роки тому +4

    "I bet this is the faction you play the most in other medieval games as well."
    no I dont

  • @Canaris4
    @Canaris4 4 роки тому +15

    Holy Roman Empire: You want to play as Rome, but either you haven't heard of or haven't unlocked Byzantium yet. You've also never heard of Voltaire.
    Russia: You've unlocked Russia.
    The Turks: You want to play a Muslim faction but you don't want to be seen as a mummy-hugging Egyptian.

  • @jm6244
    @jm6244 3 роки тому +2

    ngl, your humour doesn't always land with me but that Hungary joke, even though it was so obvious, got me lol.

  • @Burgermeister1836
    @Burgermeister1836 2 роки тому +4

    Playing as France is what you do when all you want to do is spam knights. Once you get Chivs/Nobles it's double the recruitment pool.

  • @ricardoalmeida7805
    @ricardoalmeida7805 3 роки тому +3

    Portugal: You are a portuguese national. Truer words have never been spoken.

  • @sponge5196
    @sponge5196 3 роки тому +2

    Me a Papal States player: Excommunication is good business.

  • @ratzfatz6880
    @ratzfatz6880 3 роки тому +4

    HRE: you wanted to make Germany great before it was actually a thing

  • @Metal.Pigeon
    @Metal.Pigeon 4 роки тому +30

    Regarding Portugal, a lot of us pick them because we like Spain's roster, but prefer Portugal's colours!
    On a more serious note, Dismounted Portuguese Knights are great in PvP and the only real advantage Portugal has over Spain online.

  • @GoErikTheRed
    @GoErikTheRed 4 роки тому +11

    Denmark: Embrace my heritage
    England: Our arrows will blot out the sun
    Scotland: Eternal Highland Charge
    HRE/France: Will I face a challenge if I'm surrounded by enemies? No.
    Milan: I want to conquer 8 settlements in 15 turns, and not slow down after that. Convert everything to cities and spam crossbows
    Venice: If it doesn't have a port on the Mediterranean, I don't want it
    Sicily: I own 1 city and 5 castles. How did this happen?
    Spain: Christianize all the kingdoms
    Moors: The first faction I eliminate when playing as Spain
    Portugal: Who?
    Hungry/Poland: THEN THE WINGED HUSSARS ARRIVED!!!
    Russia: The secret is to have more men than they have arrows
    Byzantines: Reminds me of Rome Total War
    Turks: I want to play as steppe hordes but can't be bothered to follow To Nerd is Human's guide on modding in the Mongols
    Egypt: Come at me bro
    Papal States: I watched Legend of Total War's let's play
    Rebels: Rebels in Rome Total War was a blast, figure I should try it here. *takes one look at projected income and starts deleting soldiers

  • @trygveplaustrum4634
    @trygveplaustrum4634 4 роки тому +11

    Wait, no,
    the Russia Short Hard campaign was the *EASIEST* campaign I've ever played.
    Don't go east, just go west. Poland and Hungary will declare war on you anyways,
    and by then you have way too much of an army to care about them. Easiest, and fastest, campaign I ever had.

  • @DarkKing009
    @DarkKing009 4 роки тому +15

    I like the Moors that means the Re-Reconquista

  • @karanacharya7689
    @karanacharya7689 2 роки тому +2

    Scotland: Because I do not want to face the Mongols or Timurids. Lol🤣

  • @Chuck12312
    @Chuck12312 3 роки тому +4

    its france for me. I guess I'm generally a francophile

    • @randomguy2023
      @randomguy2023 3 роки тому +2

      Yeah, when I was a kid I always played France.

  • @gutman7807
    @gutman7807 4 роки тому +3

    Trurly this was really fun video. But in Poland it's more you want to fight any imaginable front. In the west you have HRE, at the south Hungary in the east Russia (and Mongols sometimes) and sometimes Denmark will atack you. At least this is my opinion. Sorry for my english.

  • @americohagim1131
    @americohagim1131 4 роки тому +3

    I just love Venice because I just like rebuilding the Roman Empire

    • @ukaszzawadka2678
      @ukaszzawadka2678 4 роки тому +2

      I did play them once too with the same goal. Their western type heavy infantry, especially "Lanze Sezzate" dismounted knights and Venetian infantry resemble legions from RTW, and with some help of "auxilia": crossbowmen and heavy cavalry are able to beat any oponent. You are far from the Mongols and You can freely develop your cities and build impressive navy to control whole Mediterranean.

    • @KasumiRINA
      @KasumiRINA Місяць тому

      @@ukaszzawadka2678 Venice is actually very similar to England in army composition so a good pick as second game for conservative players who want to play it safe and familiar (as English are beginner's "default" faction). Venetians also have heavy infantry equivalent to English bills, pretty good archers and some cavalry as support tho not main focus.

  • @Cajvklavesnici
    @Cajvklavesnici 4 роки тому +11

    HRE was my first fraction i ever played in TW (after Norman prologue), i played it on normal/normal and it wasn't chalanging for me, it was never ending war in Italy but i lost only one starting settlement if i remember and conquered maybe 70% of map, i even planned to kick Timurids and their 8 armies from Jerusalem but my HDD died so i lost that save file

    • @borecmigulas7806
      @borecmigulas7806 3 роки тому +2

      Super jméno, konečně někdo z Čech kdo to hraje taky!

    • @Uragan00829
      @Uragan00829 3 роки тому +1

      Já taky začínal se Svatou říší římskou! Akorát jsem dobil celý svět i s Aztéky. Sice mi to trvalo asi 180 hodin, ale byla to sranda!

  • @SergeantPsycho
    @SergeantPsycho 2 роки тому +1

    Apachean Tribes; You like skirmishing to hell and back for like the first third of the Campaign.

  • @estiux9183
    @estiux9183 4 роки тому +1

    Good video but I was hoping that:
    -With HRE ; Russia or Poland make a joke about append or conquering Poland
    -With Sicily a tipical Mob joke
    -With Spain a comment or thought about the Reconquista

  • @doomcooper9549
    @doomcooper9549 4 роки тому +19

    Me: waits for Melkor to talk about the Hungarians as they're my favorite
    Melkor: makes meta-joke instead
    Me: bre
    All jokes aside, this just made me want to boot up M2TW again and get addicted! Keep up the good work!

    • @vicePVic
      @vicePVic 4 роки тому +1

      How come that Hungary is your favorite?

    • @doomcooper9549
      @doomcooper9549 4 роки тому +2

      vicePVic I like them because their starting position has a lot of options, I find their spearman to be cool, and something about their cavalry attracts me to them

    • @vicePVic
      @vicePVic 4 роки тому +3

      @DoomCooper thank you for the quick answer, combining horse archers with one of the best heavy cav is just amazing, I thought only Hungarian favor Hungary lol

  • @afterfall8133
    @afterfall8133 3 роки тому +1

    It seems Denmark has high armor piercing to repel a SKYNET INVASION

  • @itsquiet9620
    @itsquiet9620 4 роки тому +3

    I picked HRE the very first time i played game and i didn't even tried other factions yet.

  • @AdmiralSpaceballs
    @AdmiralSpaceballs 2 роки тому +2

    With venice is the first and only time i was interested for long enough to conquer the whole map.

  • @normanharrison8215
    @normanharrison8215 3 роки тому +2

    that's so true. medieval greeks tried to make their distinct identity for their own but yet nobody cared, and nobody cares even now. they're always overshadowed by traditional Roma or classical greek states like Sparta, Macedonia, Athenai.

    • @KasumiRINA
      @KasumiRINA Місяць тому

      Not if you're from Ukraine, then Byzantines are the guys your ancestors looked up to, then pillaged them, nailed a shield to Constantinople's wall, sent your viking retinue Harald into Varangian guard, laughed as he robbed the treasury and blinded an emperor. Good times! AS the games don't have Kyivan Rus' some for bizarre reason, Byzantine Empire is the closest faction to "home". Meanwhile, we see the actual Rome as just... gypsies.

  • @MiketheTzar
    @MiketheTzar 3 роки тому +2

    Norway "oh you have armor, that's cute"

  • @yourtotalwarmaster3635
    @yourtotalwarmaster3635 4 роки тому +4

    Niceee. Was waiting for this

  • @jlima5509
    @jlima5509 4 роки тому +7

    Heeeey, we like moors bcs we like easy gold from timbuktu

  • @BluePhoenix_
    @BluePhoenix_ 4 роки тому +3

    Portugal: When you want to play as bad spain.
    HRE: When you wanna be the punching bag of the whole of Europe. And have the worst final cav upgrade in the world.

  • @Emperor.Penguin.
    @Emperor.Penguin. 3 роки тому +2

    I never realized this before but the Scottish General VA is Graham McTavish

  • @PhoenixAlaris93
    @PhoenixAlaris93 2 роки тому +2

    Mongols: So you did it. After all these years of pondering how to do it, you finally managed to make the Mongols playable from the start and figured out how to give them a settlement at the start, just so you can unleash the horde upon Europe.
    Timurids: Same as Mongols, but now with elephants

  • @TheMovieDoctorful
    @TheMovieDoctorful 4 роки тому +2

    As a Hungary player, I am most disappointed at the lack of mention of horse archers.

  • @SuchALizard
    @SuchALizard 2 роки тому +2

    My favorite factions for the basegame are milan and poland. But the stainless steel mod really kept me playing and i enjoy playing the crusader states or the teutonic order.

  • @landrylongacre6391
    @landrylongacre6391 9 годин тому +1

    I played the fuck out of the HRE as a kid because that name sounded so badass to me, that is literally the only reason.

  • @simonepazsimon7219
    @simonepazsimon7219 2 роки тому +1

    "Hungary, yes I am"
    Me: "Would you look at that! me too"

  • @sligacheese6470
    @sligacheese6470 8 місяців тому +1

    I take Danes and make lots of Vikings.

  • @The_Custos
    @The_Custos 4 роки тому +4

    Not Portuguese, buuut love the aventuros, jinete, and knight of Santiago armies. Very interesting campaigns as well.

    • @The_Custos
      @The_Custos 4 роки тому +1

      @rui carvalho
      🇵🇹
      HRE
      🇪🇸
      🇵🇱
      🇭🇺
      Sicily
      🇫🇷
      HRE gets second, because of its fascinating campaign. Poland can go very differently as well, but they are so strong at cav spam I rate them lower.

  • @vangoghsseveredear
    @vangoghsseveredear 2 роки тому +1

    My first medieval 2 campaign, I played England and didn't get super far.
    My second Medieval 2 campaign was the HRE, and it was the first and only total war campaign I've ever completed. I expanded insanely fast, taking everything, and had finished the campaign before the plague broke out and before timurids appeared.
    I had one successful campaign in Cairo somehow, and I won as the mongols were currently shit kicking Egypt right next to me. I had so. Many. Wars. Going on

  • @trygveplaustrum4634
    @trygveplaustrum4634 4 роки тому +5

    I've finished Hard Short campaigns as Portugal, Russia, and Denmark.
    I posit that Portugal is amazing: *JINETES! JINETES! JINETES!*
    Yes, I am that guy. But not a Portuguese nationalist.

    • @GoErikTheRed
      @GoErikTheRed 4 роки тому

      Spain has Jinetes as well. Literally Portugal is just Spain with a slightly smaller roster and worse starting position

    • @miguelsilva1446
      @miguelsilva1446 4 роки тому

      @@GoErikTheRed sad Portuguese noises

    • @12345Granada
      @12345Granada 4 роки тому +1

      @@GoErikTheRed portugal has AP heavy infantry, better pikes, better guns and the best light infantry Skirmishers. Spain has better heavy cav and more heavy infantry options but no AP heavy infantry and better city units.

  • @LiLTizzle151
    @LiLTizzle151 2 роки тому +1

    He’s right, Milan and Sicily were my favorites but I never played em more than the other factions. I enjoy them all. I even play Russians as much as Sicily.
    Thanks for the videos Melkor.

  • @dedeferreira98
    @dedeferreira98 2 роки тому +3

    As a Portuguese i can confirm this. NO ONE is allowed to to talk shit about Portugal xD

    • @AxelHenx
      @AxelHenx Рік тому

      now i want to. but i have been there and i agree it's great. good food nice people beautifull country. but i still want to talk shit about it now because i feel challenged :(

    • @dedeferreira98
      @dedeferreira98 Рік тому

      @@AxelHenx fair enought 😂

    • @AxelHenx
      @AxelHenx Рік тому

      @@dedeferreira98 when i find i thing i don't like there i will get back to this post ;) :D

  • @kanalisationerstellen
    @kanalisationerstellen 2 роки тому +2

    I love HRE, Portugal, Scottland so far the most - i think the other factions are too easy. But then it is easy too xD

  • @shadowwarriorshockwave3281
    @shadowwarriorshockwave3281 4 роки тому +3

    As A Scotland main I just want more independence bridge battles and PIKES PIKES PIKES POINT STICK PIKE MILTIA STRONK

  • @nocturnered281
    @nocturnered281 4 роки тому +2

    Just start new compaign, and now see this vid,
    I think ar-adunaim might said same thing but..
    Thanks Melkor

  • @crocworks
    @crocworks Місяць тому +1

    If you're a Moors player, you think the Timbuktu city is the most OP location in the world and chase after it first every time.

  • @paulvontarsus729
    @paulvontarsus729 2 роки тому +1

    You sound like Grumio from Plebs. Nice video btw.

  • @modernrelic7092
    @modernrelic7092 2 роки тому +1

    Just revisiting an old favorite video.
    Hope you're doing well, Melkor.

  • @RRW359
    @RRW359 4 роки тому +2

    I (an American) actually like playing Portugul, at least in Short Campaign. It's pretty easy to surround Spain so you can take them out and focus on the Moors without worrying about excommunication. As Spain Portugul can just retreat into France.

  • @adammcmillan5843
    @adammcmillan5843 2 роки тому +1

    Welsh: have long bows
    English: conquer Wales
    Scottish: procide to beat them back to Yorkshire with extremely long pointy sticks and a very tall man

  • @TealWolf26
    @TealWolf26 4 роки тому +2

    Byzantium: Ha ha ha. I'm in danger. 🙂
    Russia: Don't worry, I'm coming.
    Russia: Oh. You're dead.

  • @winndypops
    @winndypops 4 роки тому +3

    Tried to go on a hunt for all of the Scottish Voicelines after this, need to reacquaint myself with a lot of it.

  • @zhouwu
    @zhouwu 4 роки тому +1

    My favourite faction to play is Venice and the reasonings he gave was all spot on! Hooray!

  • @wolfieee71
    @wolfieee71 2 роки тому +2

    5:53 wow, I take that as an offence.
    Also, I never played Hungary while being a hungarian (lel).

    • @Вейн-э5б
      @Вейн-э5б 2 роки тому +2

      Hungary was my second campaign after finishing one FOR THE RUSSIA MOTHERLAND.

  • @omicroneridani7456
    @omicroneridani7456 2 роки тому +1

    I find this bloke's (who must be from northern Britain, methinks) voice rather mesmerising... and the final pun rather hilarious, if a bit cheesy. Yes, further pun intended :-D

  • @FaithfulOfBrigantia
    @FaithfulOfBrigantia 4 роки тому +3

    As a Portuguese player, I don't play as Portugal, and i don't pretend its a better faction than what it is.
    I just spend an obscenely amount of time complain about Portugal's innacuracies online 😃

    • @12345Granada
      @12345Granada 4 роки тому

      Portugual has one of the best roosters in the game.

    • @FaithfulOfBrigantia
      @FaithfulOfBrigantia 4 роки тому

      @@12345Granada
      Its solid and well rounded.
      They don't have any particular advantages or disadvantages.

    • @FaithfulOfBrigantia
      @FaithfulOfBrigantia 3 роки тому +1

      @rui carvalho
      And it makes sense considering the performance of Portuguese pikemen against Castilian and French heavy cavalry in the 14th century.
      What I don't like about them is the design. They were made to represent some sort of explorer/conquistador, which is silly for the Medieval period, and doesn't even make sense in the late game since they don't even have India/Indonesia in the game.
      Besides, pikemen didn't play a key role in the Portuguese conquests in the East, it was mainly their gunnery.
      The Portuguese elite pikemen unit should be based on those used in the 1383-85 interregnum war, and they should also have elite crossbowmen (since Portugal was one of the first European kingdoms establishing professional standing regiments of Crossbowmen).
      In all medieval games, Portugal suffers from a severe case of "the Discoveries" stereotypes.
      People realise Portugal has +600 years of Medieval warfare content before the discoveries were a thing right?

  • @zord1352
    @zord1352 4 роки тому +7

    Portuguese: You want to play a pike and shoot at all cost!
    Milan: All you want is money!
    Hungary: Love horse archers more than any. You just want to raid everything.
    Morroco: "Lol, they have christian knights. Let's make a jihad with them LMFAO!"

    • @ilias-qt1so
      @ilias-qt1so 2 роки тому

      Last one is pretty fun hahaha

  • @antonsarz
    @antonsarz 4 роки тому +3

    That description of Byzantium hahahahahaahah
    Totally accurate...

  • @specioustest4321
    @specioustest4321 2 роки тому +1

    Came out on mobile so I now get to get in on the fun! Only played England so far haha… so England is my favorite!

  • @ayatcha7928
    @ayatcha7928 4 роки тому +6

    Glory to Venice!

  • @RandomPerson-zy5pr
    @RandomPerson-zy5pr 4 роки тому +6

    3:40 It's more similar to Apaches

  • @way2tehdawn
    @way2tehdawn 3 роки тому +2

    I always find playing as Russia you get into war with Poland and Hungary quite quick. Take the rebel settlements around the Baltic, then if it’s still available take Kiev, Caffa, Sarkel and maybe Tblisi (even Trebizond if it’s available) get that Black Sea trade money. Once you start earning good money send a general with about 9 units of Kazakhs to secure the miscellaneous rebel settlements to the east (they are pretty worthless though). Only thing I found those settlements good for was packing full of armoured spear militia for when the Mongols come. Even in less fortified towns with a decent amount of militia you can take down at least a stack or two of mongols. In the west focus on quality armies to take out Poland and Hungary. HRE, Byzantium and Turks are good choices for allies.

  • @reallyFrogman
    @reallyFrogman 4 роки тому +1

    "Who the fuck likes Denmark"
    - Me, a Swede

  • @ericnstuff
    @ericnstuff 3 роки тому

    I love that you were snickering as you stood up.