Guessing Random Things About You | ASMR

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  • Опубліковано 18 гру 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 10 тис.

  • @imafrog7666
    @imafrog7666 3 роки тому +15447

    “Are you human”
    “I think this is getting a little personal”

    • @husband-of-chinggis
      @husband-of-chinggis 3 роки тому +145

      underrated comment

    • @caoduyen9149
      @caoduyen9149 3 роки тому +25

      He thinks aliens are real tho
      I’m joking

    • @nokoanna5077
      @nokoanna5077 3 роки тому +24

      Dont vory frog.
      I am somthing else to. Since my name in translasjon is somthing else.

    • @iann.18
      @iann.18 3 роки тому +16

      Yeah I mean my species is obviously the waste of space type.

    • @user-qk1oj3kz5h
      @user-qk1oj3kz5h 3 роки тому +17

      @@husband-of-chinggis stop

  • @susgi2631
    @susgi2631 5 років тому +23227

    “is the fourth letter in your name q?”
    *Lord Farquaad shifts uncomfortably*

  • @KotaRaine-v8x
    @KotaRaine-v8x 4 роки тому +5509

    "Are you human?"
    *sweating* "Next question"

    • @Slinkycomet39
      @Slinkycomet39 3 роки тому +129

      "Do you have a soul?"
      *SWEATS PROFUSELY*

    • @cheems016
      @cheems016 3 роки тому +18

      Well, answer.

    • @iann.18
      @iann.18 3 роки тому +18

      @@cheems016 I'd rather not....°@-@

    • @jordenstrother2227
      @jordenstrother2227 3 роки тому +10

      Ah sh*t he figured it out

    • @LordChaosHavik
      @LordChaosHavik 3 роки тому +9

      Am a Ginger so I think it's a no to both.

  • @gerrityoudell2444
    @gerrityoudell2444 3 роки тому +4193

    He’s not writing, but drawing the person that would answer yes to all these questions

    • @poggestfrog323
      @poggestfrog323 2 роки тому +93

      What about the person who said no to all these answers? That would be more interesting because they would not be a human

    • @jodimills1279
      @jodimills1279 2 роки тому +20

      Aka himself

    • @sygnetshorts
      @sygnetshorts 2 роки тому +11

      He actually guessed right a lot about myself, including the name one with the number of vowels and constanants. Pretty crazy he guessed everything right about my name

    • @wellhellothere5877
      @wellhellothere5877 2 роки тому +5

      @@poggestfrog323 neither would they have a soul

    • @farithazri621
      @farithazri621 2 роки тому +1

      Асмр

  • @T_Boyd2122
    @T_Boyd2122 5 років тому +4378

    “When you were 12, did you steal a candy bar from your local convenience store”
    I plead the fifth

  • @dietcapriisun
    @dietcapriisun 5 років тому +4395

    akinator:
    rift: *IM BOUT TO END THIS MANS WHOLE CAREER*

  • @QuickFlixDae
    @QuickFlixDae 5 років тому +10777

    "Are you human?" *Zuckerberg sips water intensely*

    • @davidclout6286
      @davidclout6286 5 років тому +34

      I was about to comment this.

    • @ghost-pj9tm
      @ghost-pj9tm 5 років тому +58

      Really I was thinking inhales water but that works too lol

    • @Jimmiesmom
      @Jimmiesmom 5 років тому +12

      SHIT THARE ON TO ME

    • @generalraven9804
      @generalraven9804 5 років тому +21

      Don’t you mean zucc juice?

    • @Demon_SXZ
      @Demon_SXZ 5 років тому +1

      @@davidclout6286 to late

  • @prytz5911
    @prytz5911 2 роки тому +2272

    im going to do everything he asked here so that when i come back to this video i can finally say yes to everything

    • @asmurr3797
      @asmurr3797 2 роки тому +71

      Including cheat death out of 10 bucks

    • @jilyyyyy.
      @jilyyyyy. 2 роки тому +42

      hmmmm the birthday one??

    • @snipercat7838
      @snipercat7838 2 роки тому +39

      GOOD LUCK TO THAT BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO CHANGE THE 4TH LETTER OF YOUR LAST NAME TO Q!

    • @doomerduck1346
      @doomerduck1346 2 роки тому +32

      Send a tattoo pic

    • @CornRaked
      @CornRaked 2 роки тому +41

      @@snipercat7838 farquad

  • @Canesugar7683
    @Canesugar7683 5 років тому +3303

    Imagine Rift just guessing your phone number and address when you are about to fall asleep

    • @majintorabisu6633
      @majintorabisu6633 5 років тому +97

      Duuuuude lol I'd freak out and look out my bedroom window

    • @TYZ.AUTOMOTIVE
      @TYZ.AUTOMOTIVE 5 років тому +4

      😂😂

    • @snipa2408
      @snipa2408 5 років тому +74

      your social security number and everything 🤣

    • @ranch418
      @ranch418 5 років тому +60

      Just calmly like: 1273....

    • @1996Pinocchio
      @1996Pinocchio 5 років тому +3

      hilarious

  • @tristanmcguire4820
    @tristanmcguire4820 4 роки тому +11455

    I have the weird feeling his questions are really facts about himself

  • @thepizzatime3502
    @thepizzatime3502 3 роки тому +2865

    “Are you human?”
    “No this is Patrick”

    • @purplegirltoh
      @purplegirltoh 3 роки тому +16

      This comment is so underrated

    • @Obama3ryk
      @Obama3ryk 3 роки тому +7

      Man I think this is the most creative comment out there

    • @Obama3ryk
      @Obama3ryk 3 роки тому +4

      @@thepizzatime3502 it is not, srsly so many stupid comments I see over and over again on other videos

    • @z3dthezombie
      @z3dthezombie 3 роки тому +4

      U N D E R R A T E D

    • @toeragtoerag
      @toeragtoerag 3 роки тому +1

      @@Obama3ryk Obama, sir, What is your last name?

  • @obsessivelyobsessed5263
    @obsessivelyobsessed5263 3 роки тому +562

    Imagine the person who actually had the poetry reading one, but they were like "AWWW mate... so close.... it's not a jellyfish... it's a squid.... but everything else is spot on!"

    • @keenanlarsen1639
      @keenanlarsen1639 Рік тому +12

      If that person exists they should have it changed to a jellyfish

    • @nofwild6325
      @nofwild6325 Рік тому

      Man of war is technically not a jelly fish If I remember correctly

    • @DarthSidian
      @DarthSidian 9 місяців тому

      @@nofwild6325
      Correct. It's a siphonophore.

  • @subscribersWithoutavideo-jy8uf
    @subscribersWithoutavideo-jy8uf 4 роки тому +999

    *looks at my Dog named Horse*
    Me: We’re leaving..

    • @ishrimpfortheshark7428
      @ishrimpfortheshark7428 4 роки тому +23

      I would like your comment but it has 69 likes so I am going to leave at that

    • @ishrimpfortheshark7428
      @ishrimpfortheshark7428 4 роки тому +1

      @Riley Reyes how do you know who told you, Cause your right.

    • @Tom-vu1wr
      @Tom-vu1wr 4 роки тому

      @@ishrimpfortheshark7428 420 likes from me. I hope this makes up for that

    • @Bonaparte_379
      @Bonaparte_379 3 роки тому +2

      @Riley Reyes 78 dollars that's so specific wth

  • @kierancooper404
    @kierancooper404 4 роки тому +1908

    When he said, "do u have a soul"
    Me a ginger: no?

  • @tponya
    @tponya 5 років тому +3850

    "Do you have a soul?"
    Spongebob: No but I have 62 cents

  • @Actualwendigo
    @Actualwendigo 2 роки тому +159

    I like that when he asks questions like are you tired he doesn’t say what he writes as to let the answers be universal

  • @syloboy163
    @syloboy163 3 роки тому +3576

    11:59 "when you were 12 years old, did you happen to steal a candy bar from the local convenience store?"
    "For legal reasons, my answer is no."

    • @saturnfour
      @saturnfour 3 роки тому +62

      me at 15 still stealing stuff in every store i go into: _next question-_

    • @heartofonyx9763
      @heartofonyx9763 3 роки тому +44

      @@saturnfour hey, don’t do that, it hurts sales >:T
      (This is lighthearted btw)

    • @saturnfour
      @saturnfour 3 роки тому +2

      @@heartofonyx9763 i’m sorry 😓i need to stop 🧍

    • @DoofXMachina
      @DoofXMachina 3 роки тому +31

      @@saturnfour then... just stop

    • @saturnfour
      @saturnfour 3 роки тому +4

      @@DoofXMachina bye i’m trying

  • @StaticSpark314
    @StaticSpark314 4 роки тому +29503

    Imagine the one person in the world who he got everything right about finding this video and freaking out

    • @Marwan_og
      @Marwan_og 4 роки тому +2317

      Mathematically speaking it is a very very slim chance, actually almost impossible for anyone in the world itself to get all questions correct

    • @Brae182
      @Brae182 4 роки тому +982

      @@Marwan_og cool

    • @kileywinkler5368
      @kileywinkler5368 4 роки тому +1267

      Marwan Mahmoud wow that’s so cool but i don’t remember asking...

    • @thatsprucedude5027
      @thatsprucedude5027 4 роки тому +2774

      @Marwan Mahmoud sounds like someone whos freaking out coz he got it all right would say

    • @lazershots4359
      @lazershots4359 4 роки тому +942

      @@Marwan_og I have a feeling you're 14 and you think you're the smartest person in the universe

  • @michaelpaladino2158
    @michaelpaladino2158 5 років тому +1801

    Him: "Are you human"
    Me: *short circuits and explodes*

  • @murder070
    @murder070 3 роки тому +376

    "Do you have a tatto on your left leg of a one legged victorian high back chair where sits a jellyfish reading poetry to a group of maline stalagmites which represents the ongoing struggle between parent and child as described in chapter 12 of her majestys decript of the inhabitents of the inner sanctum of the eternally finite thaumaltariums" that is the most oddly specific thing i have ever heard

    • @jehehe76tcixi
      @jehehe76tcixi 2 роки тому +39

      i have it on my right calf :/

    • @Sharpened_stick
      @Sharpened_stick Рік тому +8

      Do you have a tattoo on your left leg of a one legged Victorian high back chair where sits a jelly fish reading a poetry to a group of maline stalagmites which represents the ongoing struggle between parent and child as described in chapter 12 of her majestys decript of the inhabitants of the inner sanctum of the eternally finite thaumaltariums?

    • @pinkiefly6218
      @pinkiefly6218 9 місяців тому +2

      @@Sharpened_stickyea

    • @JustinBeaver-ne5gp
      @JustinBeaver-ne5gp 6 місяців тому +2

      How did he guess my exact tattoo the only 1 that I have Are you kidding me

    • @prucera
      @prucera 3 місяці тому

      not even AI was able to recreate this

  • @JaykuhbYT
    @JaykuhbYT 5 років тому +3011

    "Do you have a tattoo, on your left calf, of a one legged victorian high back chair in which sits a... Jellyfish... Which represents the struggle..." This question only goes on for about a paragraph, which must R E A L L Y freak out the one person in the world that may have it... Just think...

    • @asas14444
      @asas14444 4 роки тому +19

      or may not have it?

    • @northernmostrat
      @northernmostrat 4 роки тому +135

      ....man 'o' war jellyfish * Reading poetry to a group of maligned stalagmites. Which represents the ongoing struggle in between parent and child as described in chapter twelve of her majesty's decree * to the inhabitants of the inner-sanctum * of the eternally finite thamultarians.

    • @miyokotheh0e535
      @miyokotheh0e535 4 роки тому +114

      Funny story
      This girl that went to my camps dad had a tattoo like this and I asked him what was it and he gave this exact description so that creeped me out

    • @JaykuhbYT
      @JaykuhbYT 4 роки тому +2

      @@northernmostrat thanks for finishing lol

    • @sydneybrooks6038
      @sydneybrooks6038 4 роки тому +3

      Shy_foxx_gaming damn

  • @Struxion
    @Struxion 5 років тому +7556

    If you answered yes to any of the questions, you may be entitled to financial compensation.

    • @LoserSnoozer
      @LoserSnoozer 5 років тому +127

      pay up

    • @MelMelMel
      @MelMelMel 5 років тому +39

      So... all honest humans?
      Its often the dishonest ppl who are at the financial top.

    • @cat-jv2yt
      @cat-jv2yt 5 років тому +31

      TheFatalFreak this is so weird, you might find this weird but I have been here before and seen this comment, I don’t remember it but I do, it’s more than just déjà vu. I don’t know what is going on but I am extremely confused right now.

    • @endermage77
      @endermage77 5 років тому +6

      Financial compensation for answering yes to any of the questions?
      Well darnit

    • @kxmode
      @kxmode 5 років тому +11

      Open your window and yell, "It's my money and I need it now!"

  • @songofsolomon5677
    @songofsolomon5677 5 років тому +5330

    “Is the fourth letter in your name q?”
    Me with three letters in my name: *yes*

    • @mikeyyyv3640
      @mikeyyyv3640 5 років тому +79

      Susie Sheep I bet you 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 ur name is Mia

    • @iLxnk0
      @iLxnk0 5 років тому +25

      Mike Vaknansky or Ian

    • @kao7ic13
      @kao7ic13 5 років тому +106

      Are u joe?

    • @yeetonmyfeet6548
      @yeetonmyfeet6548 4 роки тому +127

      @@kao7ic13 wHo'S JoE?

    • @Struxion
      @Struxion 4 роки тому +184

      @@yeetonmyfeet6548 *Inhales*
      JOE MAMMA

  • @gelatopurple
    @gelatopurple 2 роки тому +119

    Plot twist: he's trying to find out our social security number but he's asking other questions so we don't find out

  • @jchau_
    @jchau_ 5 років тому +615

    Rift: do you have a soul?
    Me, a university student: I used to

    • @notaveragecr6041
      @notaveragecr6041 4 роки тому +24

      Me a male nurse: I used to... *cries in endless work and risk of virus*

    • @BeanKatz
      @BeanKatz 4 роки тому +9

      @@notaveragecr6041 I salute you, you brave soilders

    • @havynandabby
      @havynandabby 4 роки тому

      We all used too

  • @cara_melly
    @cara_melly 5 років тому +1103

    “Do you have a slight limp in your right leg because you were struck by a tree?”
    **VIETNAM FLASHBACKS**

    • @doodboi7106
      @doodboi7106 5 років тому +26

      **FORTUNE SON PLAYS IN THE BACKGROUND INCESSANTLY**

    • @IsabruhMoment
      @IsabruhMoment 5 років тому +15

      THE TREE WAS ASKING FOR IT

    • @skullman728
      @skullman728 5 років тому +9

      CHARLIE IN THE TREES

    • @thomasnolastname8734
      @thomasnolastname8734 5 років тому +8

      WAR
      *WAR NEVER CHANGES*

    • @kartoffel112
      @kartoffel112 5 років тому +2

      I hear the Hueys
      They are going to save us
      But f*** no there is a Grind

  • @squirrel9301
    @squirrel9301 4 роки тому +2446

    him: can you run fast enough to get away from the police
    me, in my wheelchair:

    • @connorfields1809
      @connorfields1809 3 роки тому +85

      You could ride fast enough😂

    • @Businessgoose123
      @Businessgoose123 3 роки тому +92

      If you go down a hill then yeah

    • @asquirrel7757
      @asquirrel7757 3 роки тому +56

      Bro u needa get one of em formula 1 wheelchairs the police scrubs will never catch up, godspeed, literally

    • @insertrandomusernamhere4209
      @insertrandomusernamhere4209 3 роки тому +6

      @Adolf Hitler donate him a panther :)

    • @pancakes8816
      @pancakes8816 3 роки тому +14

      Question, how do you slow down when going down a hill? Or like if you accidently pick up a shit ton of speed, how would you stop?

  • @aidanaidan4773
    @aidanaidan4773 2 роки тому +306

    most people see these as questions, i see a bucket list.

    • @autisticgooos
      @autisticgooos Рік тому +6

      A true pioneer of thought this man is

    • @colemoore5007
      @colemoore5007 Рік тому +4

      Ah yes, acquire social security number 0

    • @cherri-sage
      @cherri-sage Рік тому +3

      @@colemoore5007 I will do what I must, no matter the cost!

    • @aidanaidan4773
      @aidanaidan4773 Рік тому +2

      @@colemoore5007 watch me pal

    • @SplendidFellow
      @SplendidFellow Рік тому

      Good luck with that tattoo I bet it'll be interesting

  • @khostie
    @khostie 3 роки тому +3756

    “Are you human?”
    No, I’m a drawing on a sticky note named montee

  • @PINE_333
    @PINE_333 4 роки тому +6659

    He’s writing “I can’t believe I get paid for this shit” over and over again

    • @slickryder
      @slickryder 4 роки тому +212

      that was a good joke i actually laughed at that :)

    • @aquivan2564
      @aquivan2564 4 роки тому +122

      I don’t think he does but if so, that’s absolutely hilarious and I can relate.

    • @themidnightview7943
      @themidnightview7943 3 роки тому +18

      Lol i know right

    • @haydenborowy5749
      @haydenborowy5749 3 роки тому +56

      I desperately want that to be true

    • @bethbragancia955
      @bethbragancia955 3 роки тому +15

      I’m in control of the 666, at the current moment.

  • @jasminm9971
    @jasminm9971 5 років тому +1909

    “Is metal your favorite music genre?”
    *headbangs aggressively*

  • @jonathan6703
    @jonathan6703 3 роки тому +117

    “When you were 12 yrs old did u steal a candy bar from a local convenience store?”
    My lawyer informs me to remain silent.

  • @sensitivebb3592
    @sensitivebb3592 4 роки тому +2146

    Rift: “it’s completely confidential”
    everyone in the comments: *let’s share answers*

    • @barkside3012
      @barkside3012 4 роки тому

      you are dumb.

    • @sensitivebb3592
      @sensitivebb3592 4 роки тому +41

      @@barkside3012 It’s clearly satire, I didn’t ask for your comment 🤗

    • @asher.222
      @asher.222 4 роки тому +32

      Barkside bro u ok there-

    • @benguin5522
      @benguin5522 4 роки тому +19

      @@barkside3012 you good man

    • @twistedanna9441
      @twistedanna9441 3 роки тому +22

      @@barkside3012 who hurt you :|

  • @alessandroboscheri7654
    @alessandroboscheri7654 5 років тому +1333

    "Are you human" *UA-cam algorithm starts sweating*

    • @SamiTheCreativeGenius
      @SamiTheCreativeGenius 5 років тому +12

      @@darksu_yt3976 self promoting is only gonna drag your channel down.

    • @tamimyaseen6013
      @tamimyaseen6013 5 років тому +5

      @@darksu_yt3976 no offense but self promoting is stupid and makes thehings worse

    • @ImJustDani
      @ImJustDani 5 років тому +5

      BMC_DarkSu_ YT imagine being a fortnite channel that leeches off of other peoples videos asking for subscribers lmao.

    • @alessandroboscheri7654
      @alessandroboscheri7654 5 років тому +4

      @@ImJustDani Sorry to break it to you but I never played Fortnite in general

    • @ImJustDani
      @ImJustDani 5 років тому +2

      Killer The Chiller sorry to break it to you but that was directed to the other guy promoting as well as all the other messages.

  • @ΒίκτωρΚιρόσκα
    @ΒίκτωρΚιρόσκα 5 років тому +8797

    Think about it, in some universe, there is is probably some guy that relates to every single one of his questions and he is just staring creeped out on his screen.

    • @pussyrestorer4370
      @pussyrestorer4370 5 років тому +662

      In some alternate universe some guy is nervously holding a gun, shaking while looking out his window

    • @Cintivii
      @Cintivii 5 років тому +260

      But someone cant be born in January and September at the same time

    • @Sphagetti__
      @Sphagetti__ 5 років тому +527

      @@Cintivii In some universe this is possible

    • @toyamonee753
      @toyamonee753 5 років тому +47

      Did u just assume the gender?!!?? XD

    • @lukacrnomarkovic8172
      @lukacrnomarkovic8172 5 років тому +11

      I dont relate to any

  • @FragmentOffline
    @FragmentOffline 3 місяці тому +5

    3:02 I genuinely got so exited when he said this. IT ISSSSSSSSS 😭😭😭 nobody ever mentions it in a positive (or even neutral), light, outside of the community, and I am so very happy.
    Also, loved the Napster reference.

  • @nightshine_
    @nightshine_ 5 років тому +673

    "Are you ready?"
    "No."
    "**writes down** They are ready."

  • @rosmostdedicatedsoldier3187
    @rosmostdedicatedsoldier3187 5 років тому +137

    “Can you run fast enough to run away from the police”
    “Well shit i did when I was 12”

  • @salomedl
    @salomedl 4 роки тому +2256

    “does your full name have 14 letters total?”
    me: *sweats in latinamerican*

    • @ashenamber2305
      @ashenamber2305 4 роки тому +28

      hey at least it isnt a dumb name

    • @rileyd07
      @rileyd07 3 роки тому +79

      @Barry Mcockiner she meant her real name is long because she is Latin American

    • @evilturtle6767
      @evilturtle6767 3 роки тому +34

      (Conner from cyberlife) 28 LETTERS IN YOUR NAME

    • @felicitymarisol
      @felicitymarisol 3 роки тому +1

      cries in 25 letters

    • @brenteeckhoudt4187
      @brenteeckhoudt4187 3 роки тому +6

      14 here

  • @mothmitchell7774
    @mothmitchell7774 3 роки тому +14

    I come back to this video because the way he describes his actions as he does them when he asks “do you like this sound”, like saying that he is putting his clipboard down and leaving the pen open and all that makes me feel safe in a way

  • @miszclz
    @miszclz 5 років тому +753

    "Are you feeling tired?"
    Everyone at 3 am trying to sleep
    Yeaghh

  • @abyss9171
    @abyss9171 4 роки тому +5158

    “Do you have a soul?” Me, a ginger: “Well no sir, I don’t believe so”

    • @masongeiger3075
      @masongeiger3075 4 роки тому +90

      U do since u stole it

    • @v4mpire.culture
      @v4mpire.culture 4 роки тому +21

      I don't get the joke gingers dont have souls? I'm not a ginger and I dont have a soul?

    • @domada8738
      @domada8738 4 роки тому +22

      @@v4mpire.culture Search for "gingers do have souls" it's an old meme

    • @Bailinator
      @Bailinator 4 роки тому +38

      holy shit this reminds me of that one episode of southpark lmaoo😂😂

    • @whatamidoingwithmylife3229
      @whatamidoingwithmylife3229 4 роки тому +8

      AS A FELLOW GINGER I COULD NOT AGREE MORE

  • @juanic7947
    @juanic7947 3 роки тому +1011

    “Are you human?”
    “I must speak with my lawyer first to answer this question”

    • @dr.doctor9123
      @dr.doctor9123 2 роки тому +19

      "I invoke the fifth 🤚"
      -Law by Mike

    • @elliotrex9167
      @elliotrex9167 2 роки тому +12

      Hi I'm Saul Goodman, did you know that you have rights?

    • @blagoevski336
      @blagoevski336 2 роки тому +4

      @@elliotrex9167 constitution says you do

    • @greativity0
      @greativity0 2 роки тому +1

      @@blagoevski336 And so do i

    • @blagoevski336
      @blagoevski336 2 роки тому

      @@greativity0 yup

  • @dubloomcarried552
    @dubloomcarried552 2 роки тому +19

    Some of these questions feel more like a psychic evaluation.
    "do you have an obsession with fire"
    well, that depends on what you're gonna do with that information, doc

  • @Scrffy
    @Scrffy 5 років тому +2032

    Him: are you tired
    Me: *hasn't slept in 23 hours*
    No I'm fine

    • @yellowivy5846
      @yellowivy5846 5 років тому +4

      Subscribe to me for no reason Pshhhh,weakling!Ive pulled 3 all nighters in a row!

    • @Tewemeh2ter
      @Tewemeh2ter 5 років тому +6

      Yellow Ivy *dumbass sarcastic smiley voice*
      That’s fatal.

    • @xxpeachflowerxx4423
      @xxpeachflowerxx4423 5 років тому +4

      Want me to call jesus to help you sleep

    • @SemihG22
      @SemihG22 5 років тому +1

      Just 23? Pathetic

    • @thomasnolastname8734
      @thomasnolastname8734 5 років тому +1

      What is sleep?

  • @joshuakilpatrick7824
    @joshuakilpatrick7824 4 роки тому +4840

    "Are you an intellectual?"
    *Everyone:*
    *Me, an intellectual:* "Yes."

    • @e.6z1
      @e.6z1 4 роки тому +75

      take my like and get this dad joke outta here!

    • @focalpoint._
      @focalpoint._ 4 роки тому +56

      No no, it’s all wrong. You should say “I am very greatful of your act of asking if i, the person you are asking, is a person who is a more intelligent individual than most average persons. To answer that very good question indeed, my good acquaintance is that i am the type of person who will say... Of course.”

    • @randomspartanhoe4501
      @randomspartanhoe4501 4 роки тому +8

      r/technicallytruth

    • @mataco7073
      @mataco7073 4 роки тому +11

      @Sandosam ??? 5

    • @spicedmoonlight7703
      @spicedmoonlight7703 4 роки тому +4

      here go ahead and have 666 likes-

  • @jamesrollison1599
    @jamesrollison1599 5 років тому +1366

    "can you play the violin?"
    *Well, I beat the devil once*

    • @adelaide2890
      @adelaide2890 5 років тому +56

      James Rollison *Steve Rogers voice* I understood that reference!

    • @dannyboy6132
      @dannyboy6132 5 років тому +53

      Heard about that were was it Georgia I think?

    • @brandonfield3993
      @brandonfield3993 5 років тому +7

      He literally asked that right as I was reading your comment. That was weird haha 😂

    • @enuskosinua2133
      @enuskosinua2133 5 років тому +6

      Dont wanna anger anyone or sound like an idiot or anything.. but could anyone explain me this thing? Just intrested :p

    • @cmae6
      @cmae6 5 років тому +7

      Dolppi fry from futurama beat the devil with his own hands in one of the episodes to win back Lila

  • @portcitypersona
    @portcitypersona 3 роки тому +22

    I am so alone and lonely and in despair with depression. I just started trying out various ASMR's and I typed ASNR conversations because I need so bad to feel like someone cares. Thank you I enjoy this and subbed to your channel. I also enjoy the lightheartedness too. Though I cried but that's just me.

  • @CV20K
    @CV20K 3 роки тому +891

    “Are you human?”
    *he’s onto me*

    • @toeragtoerag
      @toeragtoerag 3 роки тому +3

      R u n

    • @alexissinclair
      @alexissinclair 3 роки тому +2

      We gotta run or in my case fly!

    • @DRGONDO
      @DRGONDO 3 роки тому +2

      or in my case just cry

    • @alexissinclair
      @alexissinclair 3 роки тому

      @@DRGONDO no pls dont cry its ok come with me and we can watch some sponge bob

    • @thegrimneereaper6715
      @thegrimneereaper6715 3 роки тому

      @@alexissinclair i know you weren't talking to me, but I'm down if you got some extra room

  • @gnomeboi3718
    @gnomeboi3718 5 років тому +1341

    I’m genuinely thinking about getting that tattoo

    • @tuskwilliams716
      @tuskwilliams716 5 років тому +27

      D o
      N o t

    • @goodguybjorn
      @goodguybjorn 5 років тому +48

      Do
      It.
      Also, get this guy 69 likes. He needs it. 420 even better.

    • @Seven-lt6yi
      @Seven-lt6yi 5 років тому +4

      I will not like this I respect whatevs gaming and refuse to like this comment

    • @sylasgarrett5364
      @sylasgarrett5364 5 років тому +1

      Jack Williams why not

    • @shrewkit
      @shrewkit 5 років тому +2

      Samee

  • @lucie5117
    @lucie5117 4 роки тому +1172

    "Do you have a tattoo on your left calf of a one-legged Victorian high back chair in which sits a Men O' War jellyfish reading poetry to a group of maligned stalagmites which represents the ongoing struggle between parent and child as described in chapter 12 of her majesty's decree to the inhabitants of the intersanctum of the eternally finight thameltarians?"
    **HOW DID YOU KNOW?**

    • @AcidRiotGaming
      @AcidRiotGaming 3 роки тому +21

      Tripped up on "finite" hehe

    • @LordZipThe3rd
      @LordZipThe3rd 3 роки тому +1

      I KNOW RIGHT!!

    • @sig_enthusiast
      @sig_enthusiast 3 роки тому +13

      I'm actually amazing how you didn't edit this but instead just memorised it instead

    • @LotFrat
      @LotFrat 3 роки тому +4

      @@sig_enthusiast or maybe he did that on a PC

    • @frankastisk
      @frankastisk 3 роки тому +5

      I was like "Omg I have two!!"

  • @K0NG
    @K0NG 2 місяці тому +3

    I love how the subtle cut at 24:37 indicates Rift was thinking for so long he had to cut it out of the video

  • @kendrajohnson4006
    @kendrajohnson4006 5 років тому +1418

    “Did you eat a carrot today without peeling it?”
    Why...would I peel it?
    “Okay.”

    • @minethink1442
      @minethink1442 5 років тому +103

      Peeling a carrot is completely normal bro

    • @death.9297
      @death.9297 5 років тому +2

      Minethink 144 is it? XD

    • @minethink1442
      @minethink1442 5 років тому +50

      @@death.9297 it's to clean them, carrots are grown in the ground, the ground is dirty.

    • @bambino9235
      @bambino9235 5 років тому +42

      Minethink 144 i don’t peel my skin off when it’s dirty, i just wash it. See no reason the same can’t apply to carrots

    • @sakus2866
      @sakus2866 5 років тому +11

      I peel carrots every time beafore I eat them

  • @nickguziak5405
    @nickguziak5405 5 років тому +506

    “You have a soul.”
    Me: *slams hand on table* DAMN HE’S GOOD

    • @dedxz2475
      @dedxz2475 5 років тому +21

      Uh Chanka, Lord of the CIA, this is the fifth desk you broke this week Sir, may I remind you that we are having a uh, monetary deficit and we would love it if you could bring the maximum desk breaking to 2 per week. This is so our numbers could be a bit more manageable.

    • @N.atalia.-
      @N.atalia.- 2 роки тому +1

      Hahah @Nick Guziak good one x'D Where is your surname from btw? Poland?

    • @nickguziak5405
      @nickguziak5405 2 роки тому +1

      @@N.atalia.- yep

  • @taragroves9083
    @taragroves9083 5 років тому +1848

    him: "is your favourite colour quinacridone magenta"
    me, an intellectual: "I like blue"

  • @asianhero1034
    @asianhero1034 Рік тому +24

    his voice is so clear even when whispering 😳

  • @misslyntheena
    @misslyntheena 4 роки тому +3336

    Imagine being able to answer „yes“ to the tattoo question.

    • @SparglesCo
      @SparglesCo 3 роки тому +136

      It will become so in time.

    • @jimmithy7570
      @jimmithy7570 3 роки тому +106

      I feel bad for you all. He guessed it for me.

    • @chloe-roll
      @chloe-roll 3 роки тому +74

      I'll be able to answer yes in 2 years

    • @Yfhjdbnkkfdxb
      @Yfhjdbnkkfdxb 3 роки тому +19

      Someone will get it

    • @charlieisgay6567
      @charlieisgay6567 3 роки тому +20

      @@chloe-roll i’ll be waiting here.

  • @marcushouse6436
    @marcushouse6436 5 років тому +310

    I love how oddly specific these questions are

    • @shaileytrahan7320
      @shaileytrahan7320 5 років тому +2

      Marcus House ikr I just got to the tattoo on the left calf😂😂

    • @Y4k3
      @Y4k3 5 років тому

      I was expecting a normal video and question then do you have a tattoo of....

  • @jackhatch3444
    @jackhatch3444 5 років тому +513

    Er: do you call earth your home?
    Me: No
    Er: ‘proceeds to write the Declaration of Independence’

  • @commando_barrage501
    @commando_barrage501 3 роки тому +51

    “Can you run fast enough to get away from the police.”
    Me: Depends

  • @jankohout2856
    @jankohout2856 5 років тому +1356

    "Were you born on Monday?"
    Yeah... Just coincidence probably
    "In the afternoon?"
    Yeah... Wtf man...
    "At 2 pm?"
    I'm moving some place safe rift got me...

    • @UltimateDudeGuy
      @UltimateDudeGuy 5 років тому +12

      Jan Kohout no escape

    • @diogoc1541
      @diogoc1541 5 років тому +26

      @@UltimateDudeGuy no russian

    • @UltimateDudeGuy
      @UltimateDudeGuy 5 років тому +1

      @@diogoc1541 ?

    • @joshuagraham5750
      @joshuagraham5750 5 років тому +13

      Diogo c
      *Loads Machine Gun with malicious intent*

    • @diogoc1541
      @diogoc1541 5 років тому +3

      @@UltimateDudeGuy it's a call of duty reference

  • @oliverkey1435
    @oliverkey1435 3 роки тому +2177

    "Do you live on a street called 'street road'?"
    Yes...
    "Do you live in house number 47?"
    Yess...??
    "Is your room the 3rd bedroom?"
    Yes.......?!
    "Do you feel safe?"
    *Hears faint screaming outside an abandoned warehouse

    • @shocknaw
      @shocknaw 3 роки тому +30

      *hears knocking*

    • @A.I.Mmusic
      @A.I.Mmusic 3 роки тому +50

      And the “Do you feel safe?” Comes from the dark doorframe to your room.

    • @IPartyonGames
      @IPartyonGames 2 роки тому +9

      @@A.I.Mmusic just hide under the bedcover

    • @oliverkey1435
      @oliverkey1435 2 роки тому +7

      @Crack dealer I legit just looked behind me until I read this is fake XD

    • @Shy-RG
      @Shy-RG 2 роки тому

      @Crack dealer lmao

  • @alexanderpfeiffer9817
    @alexanderpfeiffer9817 5 років тому +1465

    Him: Do you have a pet dog named horse?
    Me: No but I have a pet horse named dog.

    • @pigeondercringelord5053
      @pigeondercringelord5053 5 років тому +29

      I Have Dog called Parallelogramm

    • @finnii1022
      @finnii1022 5 років тому +20

      No joke, my friend has a goat named dog.

    • @noobtooby
      @noobtooby 5 років тому +13

      Chill dude, you gonna break the matrix...

    • @Raven-Marie25
      @Raven-Marie25 5 років тому +1

      My friend has a horse named cat

    • @reaperkill2255
      @reaperkill2255 5 років тому +1

      My dogs name is Riley

  • @dragonboss274
    @dragonboss274 2 роки тому +12

    He seems so into it and joyful and it awesome and he came up with so many questions it’s amazing and his hairstyle is actually pretty damn cool

  • @darknight9886
    @darknight9886 5 років тому +920

    "Do you swallow your gum after you finish chewing it"
    I heard something a little different

  • @Caucasian_sensation17
    @Caucasian_sensation17 5 років тому +1352

    What I kinda wish happened
    "Do you like this sound"
    * Screams *

    • @haztetv7226
      @haztetv7226 5 років тому +11

      Logan Broxson laying beneth my covers, and kek’d at this comment, thank you

    • @adrianshilling1878
      @adrianshilling1878 5 років тому +3

      And you have you head set all the way up lol

    • @Newgodofwar
      @Newgodofwar 5 років тому +3

      RIP headphone users.

    • @dylanmcfiggins5816
      @dylanmcfiggins5816 5 років тому +4

      i want that to happen in a ASMR video. just in the middle of the video they scream just out of nowhere.
      Just stilling there relaxing. and then... ( *SCREAMS* ) :-P

    • @UniverseCorn
      @UniverseCorn 5 років тому

      Hazte TV im literally doing the same thing

  • @WhatAmIDoing1818
    @WhatAmIDoing1818 2 роки тому +44

    "are you ready"
    "Man I hope these get easier"
    "Are you comfertable"
    "Come on give me an easier one"
    "Are you tired"
    "Now that better be retorical why else am I here"
    "Are you human"
    "Oh come on back to the impossible ones"

  • @nathanielhong9663
    @nathanielhong9663 5 років тому +587

    "Were you born in the month of.... September?"
    Me: DO YOU REMEMBER? THE TWENTY FIRST NIGHT

  • @barkzr
    @barkzr 5 років тому +3628

    "Are you human?"
    Jesus Christ: well yes but actually no

  • @zen-sq9jf
    @zen-sq9jf 4 роки тому +275

    "Do you have a soul?"
    Hades: many.

  • @Grayskull317
    @Grayskull317 8 місяців тому +9

    "Do you have a tattoo on your left leg of a one legged victorian high back chair where sits a jellyfish reading poetry to a group of maline stalagmites which represents the ongoing struggle between parent and child as described in chapter 12 of her majestys decript of the inhabitents of the inner sanctum of the eternally finite thaumaltariums" *me sweating* uh......yes

  • @elijahg4839
    @elijahg4839 5 років тому +413

    “Do you play the kazoo?”
    Kazoo Kid: Starts to sweat intensely

  • @coltonhurlbrink3659
    @coltonhurlbrink3659 3 роки тому +624

    My favorite quote:
    “Can you run faster than the police?”

  • @mateienciu8847
    @mateienciu8847 4 роки тому +1508

    2:49 - My friend after I kill his Minecraft dog

  • @cUnTTlol
    @cUnTTlol 2 роки тому +6

    This is actualy the only asmr video that puts me to sleep anymore.

  • @justingonzales1820
    @justingonzales1820 5 років тому +6033

    "Do you have a soul?"
    *Gingers start sweating profusely*

    • @dillonwiley9530
      @dillonwiley9530 5 років тому +196

      Shit I’m caught

    • @lucbrisebois767
      @lucbrisebois767 5 років тому +100

      That or the synthetic space Jews

    • @thomasmathias1667
      @thomasmathias1667 5 років тому +19

      @@lucbrisebois767 or robot space pirates, whatever go fuck yourself

    • @vioricadragos5354
      @vioricadragos5354 5 років тому +16

      Oh my soul îs gone for a long time... now it's just a deep void

    • @astro7884
      @astro7884 5 років тому +40

      I’m a fellow ginger but find this funny 😂😂

  • @charmer_
    @charmer_ 4 роки тому +435

    all the traits that he mentioned would make a pretty cool character

    • @drewhowlett4245
      @drewhowlett4245 4 роки тому +21

      @perla *pulls out a pen and paper in character designer*

    • @drewhowlett4245
      @drewhowlett4245 4 роки тому +2

      @Jimaroc hell yeah it is

    • @iamkrazy19
      @iamkrazy19 4 роки тому

      69th like, thought I should mention

  • @oscollective
    @oscollective 4 роки тому +539

    Alternate title: "Psychic fails final exam whist casually trying to steal your identity".

    • @paperbag6310
      @paperbag6310 3 роки тому +3

      Oooo that's a good one 🤣👌

    • @elk1827
      @elk1827 3 роки тому +1

      *whilst?

  • @Ray-dl5mp
    @Ray-dl5mp 2 роки тому +2

    One of the best asmr videos ever. This and #2. There is something so calming about this structure.

  • @Toxeed
    @Toxeed 5 років тому +1455

    Can we just respect the amazing camera quality

    • @ilikeyourfunnywordsmagicma8328
      @ilikeyourfunnywordsmagicma8328 5 років тому +11

      So good you could even ee his sweat

    • @ghostlord2110
      @ghostlord2110 5 років тому +10

      A *LOT* better than pewds

    • @Vylo44
      @Vylo44 5 років тому +5

      Yeah I mean 4real.... u can see every crease in his skin.

    • @skink04
      @skink04 4 роки тому +1

      Can we just no

    • @huntterra
      @huntterra 3 роки тому +5

      in all my years of existence, never would i have expected to find my go-to plane crazy tutorial guy in a completely unrelated ASMR video's comment section. tis a small world

  • @coffeebean8233
    @coffeebean8233 3 роки тому +1137

    I like answering back with even more absurd answers while being completely unshocked by his questions.

    • @gilles466
      @gilles466 3 роки тому +88

      Him : Do you have a soul?
      Me : I think I left it in the fridge at my old house

    • @Eliminator_Grim7
      @Eliminator_Grim7 3 роки тому +64

      Him: Can you play the kazoo
      Me: no I play with the vocal cords of my passed victims

    • @zeke3746
      @zeke3746 3 роки тому +20

      please continue this thread it’s making me giggle

    • @BlackBarackObama
      @BlackBarackObama 3 роки тому +2

      @@zeke3746 dp yp

    • @musewolfman
      @musewolfman 3 роки тому +31

      Him: do you own two belts? One is black, the other is brown.
      Me: I own 7 belts. 2 black, 3 khaki, 1 gray, and one purple with rhinestones.

  • @carlycampbell96
    @carlycampbell96 4 роки тому +5640

    “Do you have an irrational fear of not having any milk in your fridge to dip your cookies in?”
    Well now I do, thanks uncle rift

  • @CelticLove98
    @CelticLove98 3 роки тому +27

    “Are you human?”
    “Negative. I am a meat popsicle.”

  • @victormila-berg2423
    @victormila-berg2423 5 років тому +268

    "Do you have a soul"
    Yes but actually no

  • @wikern7010
    @wikern7010 5 років тому +788

    23:15 No, My name consists of 16 ampersends and a Chuck'E'Cheese logo

  • @cookieking725
    @cookieking725 5 років тому +786

    What normal people write: yes
    What this intellectual writes: according to the answer I have collected from my client, the solution to this dilemma is that this gentleman has a favorite flavor, which being the flavor of birthday cake.

    • @wynn6240
      @wynn6240 5 років тому +46

      When you really want to get everything out of your law degree

    • @elhyper4232
      @elhyper4232 5 років тому +2

      Wat

    • @trollbas6850
      @trollbas6850 5 років тому +18

      My language arts teacher be like

    • @kao7ic13
      @kao7ic13 5 років тому

      My answer NO!!!

    • @saff1257
      @saff1257 5 років тому

      it wasn’t necessarily birthday cake you unintellectual

  • @amelia7960
    @amelia7960 2 роки тому +6

    Him: "is your favourite number 39,074,211.8004435^8?"
    Me: *yes*

  • @henrypinner1670
    @henrypinner1670 5 років тому +337

    Somewhere out there there is a person who was born on a Monday at 2:03 pm

    • @TheMrriyadh07
      @TheMrriyadh07 5 років тому +2

      Yeah me .. not really

    • @billie3014
      @billie3014 5 років тому +5

      I was born on a Sunday at 2:04 pm 🤨

    • @CBCsolar
      @CBCsolar 5 років тому +1

      Ninth of September at 15:57
      Or this:. 02-09/09 . The ninth of September 2002.

    • @waelo246
      @waelo246 5 років тому +1

      10:47

    • @larslego3638
      @larslego3638 5 років тому

      Motivat0r :5 me too but 9 hours earlier xD

  • @theplayfullnut4862
    @theplayfullnut4862 5 років тому +212

    00:30 "writing down" , it is confirmed that asmartists just scribble as they telepathically commute with one another and have no need for writing

  • @fortnite-lt8dv
    @fortnite-lt8dv 5 років тому +315

    E.r: Do you own a dog?
    Me: *Snores*
    E.r: Ok, *pen tapping intensifies*

  • @vampy5071
    @vampy5071 3 роки тому +7

    Erm actually.. 8:44 this really is my favourite colour 👀
    Always was my fav, i painted my bedroom this colour and put black vinyls up of crows flying and a tree with leaves blowing across the side of my wall

  • @and_a_cask7277
    @and_a_cask7277 4 роки тому +496

    "Are you tired?"
    Me at 2:16 a.m on a school night binge watching stranger things:.................Yes.

    • @ofeliaaaa
      @ofeliaaaa 3 роки тому +4

      Dude, it's so relatable... I just watched whole series and i don't have anything else to do (except actually sleeping)

    • @chadhayes4945
      @chadhayes4945 3 роки тому +5

      I just pulled up on this comment at precisely 2:16 AM.. Also, happens to be a school night... That's so freaky

    • @elenavazquez6574
      @elenavazquez6574 3 роки тому +1

      Bro same I’m rewatching stranger things at 3 in the morning AGAIN

    • @thepizzatime3502
      @thepizzatime3502 3 роки тому

      Soooo youre watching stranger things and answering asmr questions at the same time? you have issues

    • @rhwlol
      @rhwlol 3 роки тому +1

      I watched like 20 min of stranger things (s1 ep1) until they got to a hallway in the laboratory thingy and got too scared and like 2 months ago my friend says haha yes let's watch strangers things together so we did and skipped to the same scene and i thought I could watch it but nah 2 seconds in i stopped watching

  • @Iggypop-th5qs
    @Iggypop-th5qs 5 років тому +293

    02:36
    Mark Zuccerberg: *sweats profusely*

    • @saintpansy
      @saintpansy 5 років тому +3

      Iggypop4200 *sweats profusely*

    • @Roorb
      @Roorb 5 років тому +1

      @@saintpansy *pweats srofusely*

    • @cyn1103
      @cyn1103 5 років тому +4

      @@Roorb my high ass self just read that in scoobies voice

    • @mrtjm1152
      @mrtjm1152 5 років тому

      Sweats coolant

    • @SlyShadow
      @SlyShadow 5 років тому

      *epicly dies*

  • @panflip
    @panflip 5 років тому +613

    “When you where 12 years old did you happen to steal a candy bar from your local convenience store”
    me:(gulp) um yes
    My door:bang, bang, bang FBI open up

    • @panflip
      @panflip 5 років тому +1

      What why does this have likes

    • @Tewemeh2ter
      @Tewemeh2ter 5 років тому +4

      KGB, OPEN UP

    • @Ben-----
      @Ben----- 5 років тому +4

      Me: *opens door" there's no one here
      My door: ha ha, gotcha! LOL
      Me: ha you're so funny door

    • @finalgenesis430
      @finalgenesis430 5 років тому +1

      Fuck this is literally me...Oh Lord...Too real...But damn is it funny!😂

    • @ambernight2774
      @ambernight2774 5 років тому +1

      Woah, your door can talk? That’s so cool bro

  • @nameless.greyceo
    @nameless.greyceo Рік тому +3

    This is my favorite please do more of this question ones, wish every asmr did this

  • @philipkoch7570
    @philipkoch7570 3 роки тому +598

    This could be an amazing drinking game.
    Everytime he guesses something about you right you drink.

    • @rachaelhopko2606
      @rachaelhopko2606 3 роки тому +38

      I’m guessing no one would drink on the extremely specific tattoo question lol

    • @ForgetLily
      @ForgetLily 3 роки тому +10

      @@rachaelhopko2606 I mean 3.3 mil views about 0.0002% chance

    • @Jjshort
      @Jjshort 3 роки тому +7

      Lord farquad is dead

    • @avenlmfao
      @avenlmfao 2 роки тому

      That one person who has most of them right would die

    • @APNifty
      @APNifty 2 роки тому +3

      @@ForgetLily how did you get that number?

  • @callumo5912
    @callumo5912 4 роки тому +402

    Rift: “Do you gave a healthy obsession with fire”
    Me: Fireball count?

    • @pixelking4182
      @pixelking4182 4 роки тому +7

      Dnd or whiskey

    • @ItMeBob
      @ItMeBob 4 роки тому +2

      Fireball is the end all be all to any confrontation

    • @pixelking4182
      @pixelking4182 4 роки тому +1

      @@ItMeBob and to a party's trust

    • @kingarthur605
      @kingarthur605 3 роки тому

      So you re subscribed to Logan Paul.......
      Embarrassing

    • @benjammin5328
      @benjammin5328 3 роки тому +2

      1st rule of D&D: Fireball doesn’t solve every problem.
      2nd rule of D&D: Follow rule one.
      3rd rule of D&D: Ignore rules 1 and 2 if you play a Chaotic Evil, Tefling, Warlock/Wizard Multiclass.

  • @cthulhu5702
    @cthulhu5702 5 років тому +565

    "Are you tired?"
    I just woke up from a million year sleep...

    • @Berserker9_Games
      @Berserker9_Games 5 років тому +25

      Cthulhu sexy af 🍆 💦💦 💦

    • @directorincognito636
      @directorincognito636 5 років тому +11

      How's Narlepoteth going?

    • @cthulhu5702
      @cthulhu5702 5 років тому +21

      @@directorincognito636 We haven't spoken in millennia, not since he last stopped by R'lyeh.

    • @elitecompany51
      @elitecompany51 5 років тому +8

      SCP-2662 what are you doing out of containment chamber I'll be notifying MTF unit Tau-5

    • @cthulhu5702
      @cthulhu5702 5 років тому +3

      @@elitecompany51 Oh no...

  • @tacosauce6234
    @tacosauce6234 Рік тому +8

    time to go get that tattoo specifically

  • @dr.tuxedo6702
    @dr.tuxedo6702 5 років тому +665

    “Do you have a pet dog?”
    Me: oh yes, I do-
    “Named.... horse?”
    Me: oh...

    • @OllieB2001
      @OllieB2001 5 років тому +7

      I have a pet cat named Minnow

    • @iMRM-ez8of
      @iMRM-ez8of 5 років тому +6

      hilariously enough, I do

    • @a.josland6155
      @a.josland6155 5 років тому +2

      Liz Shae no one asked

    • @OllieB2001
      @OllieB2001 5 років тому +4

      @@a.josland6155 Yeah but I was just thinking a type of pet named after other animals...

    • @jaydonhines6017
      @jaydonhines6017 5 років тому +4

      I have a pet wenis and his name is wick