Before Cutting Someone Off LISTEN TO THIS! | Cutting People Off
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- Опубліковано 22 лип 2024
- Visit 👉 www.StephanSpeaksShop.com - Cutting someone off may be exactly what you need to do. BUT! do not take that step until you listen to this to make sure you don't overlook this important step.
You have to embrace developing healthy communication skills when dealing with people. Whether it's cutting people off, or trying to make things work...you should always be sure to fully express yourself and your concerns.
Dating gets easier when you learn how to better communicate with men and communicate with women. A lack of effective communication has created so many issues, and not allowed some to have easily fixed what they felt was broken.
By the way, if you would like more free dating advice, insight, and relationship advice, then join my VIP list today 👉 www.stephanspeaks.com/vip
"Letting go is usually not easy, but it can be extremely necessary."
This isn't just dating advice for women. This applies to men as well. Embrace taking a better and more effective approach in your dating and relationships. I'm giving you communication tips that will help you immensely, but you have to be willing to implement them.
So if you're considering letting them go, walking away from a man (or woman), and moving on from that relationship...talk to them first.
If you are asking any of the following questions or searching for:
- Letting go
- How to let go
- How to let go of someone
- Cut them off
- Cutting him off
- Letting go and moving on
- Relationship coach
- Relationship expert
- Life coach
- Dating tips
and more, well, I believe this relationship advice for women and men video will give you the clarity you need.
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I hope you enjoyed my video "Before Cutting Someone Off LISTEN TO THIS! | Cutting People Off"
Watch this video next "BEST DATING ADVICE EVER - Stop Wasting Your Time! 😲"
👉 • The HARSH TRUTH About ...
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#RealLove #BeforeCuttingPeople #CuttingPeopleOff #BeforeCuttingSomeoneOff #BeforeCuttingSomeone #CuttingSomeoneOff #CuttingOffSomeone #LettingThemGo #RelationshipAdvice #StephanSpeaks
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What of they are playing games like hot and cold with you , do you need to address it, when he doesn't talk to you and then appears acting all nice and warm , is there any case to address because you know they are not serious about anything
@@ruthkyeremateng6065 NO! If you are being played with you don't need to talk to them, and you shouldn't talk to them at all. Just cut them off out of your life forever. I think that he means that his advice applies when people have a real relationship especially a long term relationship when there's no abuse or disrespect. Someone playing games with you IS NOT A REAL RELATIONSHIP. That's some jerk inflating his ego by playing games with you.
@@bluebirdie7241 thanks that's what exactly I did
When people show you who they are, you need to believe them!
Absolutely!!
Especially when they straight out tell you! Mine told me there's alot of people that'd be happy if he was dead..... I believe it
Thank you!
John 480 thank you yesss
@@kated315 My last dude ...told me... it's not you.. I'm just an asshole.
The mistake is not cutting them off as soon as they disrespect you. Ive found talking hasn't gotten me anywhere. They just play stupid and continue disrespecting you, then act surprise when you let them go.
Exactly! Talking has made no lasting positive difference
Dudddeee..so trueee
Ammmen
👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
Exactly girl u did right
Sometimes the best conversation to have with someone is no conversation.. I’m not about lecturing adults about why they were in the wrong.. too many adults wanting to receive discipline like they are children. You’re an adult.. figure out why you’re cut off or don’t figure it out.. it’s not my problem anymore
Couldn't have said it better❤🤣😂
Amen.
Agree. What’s the point? You’re never going to see or talk to them again anyway.
That's how I see it ....I don't have anything more to say after boundaries have been crossed.
I totally agree with you!👍
If he’s a narcissistic person he wont care so it’s no talking.
Thelifeof VedaMariiee facts.... no matter what you , ain’t nothing will change
Yes they do care .... they hate you !
How dare you cut them off ect !
Right!
Thelifeof VedaMariiee So True❤️
Damn!!
Situationships should be cut off immediately! Taking my own advice
LaShonda Rochell preach
Yes!
Thank youuu👏🏽👏🏽
Amen sis! Been there, done that! 🤦🏾✌🏾🙏🏾💯
spoken like a champion!
All ppl have to do is BE HONEST. Understand rejection is fine. It means the person isn't right for you. That's fine to.
What gets me is why lie to me? How come they think I can’t handle the truth ? And if that’s how they see me, they shouldn’t be around. I can handle the truth. The fact that I give someone my time demands they at least owe me the truth if nothing Else.
Exactly
Absolutely. I even told a guy this and said if I wasn’t for him that’s fine but to continue the lie is the issue. I’m always honest
Many ppl are not emotionally mature /intelligent enough to be honest. And this statement may go over some people's heads and they won't really understand what I'm truly saying here. People who are dishonest with others are also dishonest with themselves. The goal here is to only deal with people who honor your values...that's what I've learned. Many things boil down to values.....
Exactly!! Just be honest.
Before I cut ✂my ex off I calmy let him know why, I gave him an opportunity to speak. We agreed and wished him well and let it go ✌. No drama, no negativity...The best way to go. 👋
ua-cam.com/video/3meDxBgvguo/v-deo.html .
Now you're a very intelligent young lady that's how you should handle the situation. Because if you see that person later on down the road a year two years from now you won't have hard feelings about each other. Bemature adults talked it out so if you do see each other later on down the road you'd be happy to see one another whether you or him have a relationship it's all about respect communication. you met on a positive note you ended on a positive note.
No, no, NO! Do not talk to them. THEY KNOW WHAT THEY DID! They meant to do it too! At the 1st sign of disrespect, manipulation, or disregard, cut them off! If they don't understand proper relationship etiquette by now, they never will, and its not your job to teach grown ppl what they should already know. Cut they a** off immediately, with no conversation attached.
delicate jewel 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Preach!
Yesssssssss ❤
👏
delicate jewel no they did it ......that doesn’t mean they comprehend how you feel about what they said or did....biting your tongue knowing you don’t like how your being treated is when we wanna walk away......without proper communication
My time is precious. If you can't keep up with me, you don't deserve me. Hasta la vista baby......
I know 😂😂 especially when he's giving the silent treatment 🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️
Period!!!
Exactly 😄😄. I anit doggin any men but i call a man like that a WOT, a waste of time. If I see a man that is a WOT I say to myself "oh he's a WOT". I waste no more precious time.
Right On! :-)
Agree, if you can communicate and be patient you not ready to be in a relationship. Adios
ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS!!! Enough said📌
Can't even trust actions. A person will give you everything then take it away TRAPPING you into believing they'll go back to being the person you met when it was all a lie
Actions are lazy if a man ain't trying to change your life.... I'm not talking about a time waste
Thank you !!!!!
Real talk, I'm a action person
Tough Shit ...True...Actions & Words should be in agreement with each other!
When you have given ample time, and had several conversations that never led to progression within the relationship, then do yourself and the other person a favor by cutting off efforts of pursuit and waiting for them. Maintain a clear conscious without regret while keeping your self-respect intact.
Amen, ty
Amen
So so true
Communication is always key. Sitting down and talking. Very simple, but many can't do this still. We've gotta get better.
ua-cam.com/video/3meDxBgvguo/v-deo.html
I'm surprised how many people disagree with the video. I also disagree that you need to talk. For example if I had around 10 so called friends for 15-20 and they were kinda nice to me, but practically didn't cared about me for last 10 years... I don't see if honest communication is possible. Grown people either understand it or not.
Sometimes a relationship cannot be changed or saved. When a person is being talked "at" instead of "to", consistently, then it is time to move on.
I totally agree.
Yeeeees!... this happened to me today...when this narcissistic bastard said
"you can hang up"...this is what I did and now I'm gonna be ok...point, blank, period!
Some people are toxic. They may have been taking advantage of you for years and when you suddenly get that epiphany that this person is narcissistic and selfish. What is there to really talk about?
Letting someone go you love is one of the hardest things to do. You have to love yourself and do what’s best for you. 🥰 Thank you
ua-cam.com/video/3meDxBgvguo/v-deo.html
Amen
I’m cutting off someone I’ve been in a Situationship with for the last year. I gave him benefit of doubt because we have similar interests in lifestyle and intellectual expression. I felt we were similar types of people and felt deep comfort with him. But despite this I notice he did a lot of bad behaviors I’ve outgrown. I gave him understanding and patience, even communicating (despite having history of being ice queen Aquarius with cutting people off lol).
Im cutting him off because I don’t want to waste my positive energy as well as my loving energy. Last times we were together he was snippy with me over minor things and was acting like I annoyed him. No thanks. I don’t see you often and when I do treating me poorly is my cut off point.
some people cant tell u whats bothering them and expect u to investigate...to find out and make it better..u could ask if is anything was bothering him...if he says no...and carry on being nasty...cut off....
Same. I don't need to be snipped at and feel like I'm annoying to the person I just flew across the country to spend time with. It was humiliating. Thank you and goodbye. No explanation required. I feel zero compunction about ignoring him and his breadcrumb texts.
Part-time muse wow many things you said reminds me of my current situationship,I'm 6 months in trying to decide what to do now .
How do yall manage to last so long in a situationship? I feel that I've been in one for less than a month and I'm ready to call it quits. He's a love bug in person but dry texting me for the past 2 weeks, my insecure self can't deal with inconsistency.
I married my high-school sweetheart and got divorced a year ago. This whole dating thing is so new to me, Its exhausting. I don't wanna repeat the cycle over and over again till I find "the right one".
@@karlaromero6672 honestly girl I was dealing with having been in a relationship with someone who completely smothered me and constantly overstepped my boundaries with over possessiveness. I ended things fairly quick then met someone who was completely opposite. The polarizing experiences were overwhelming and I didn’t give myself enough time to process how I felt about both.
It was totally my own fault and I understand that now that I’ve decided to wait on giving my time to someone who doesn’t meet all my standards. Also reinforcing “mixed signals” as no signal because I don’t owe anyone my time who isn’t straightforward when I am. I have stayed true to this when in the past I would’ve let boredom put me in situations that I knew were not for me.
Can’t have a conversation with a narcissistic person. I get yelled at, called names, this person don’t like to talk, he text. So I text it to him.
Omg I can relate and I end up feeling worse than I did before it started
Latesia Thomas, Been there, I don’t want to go back to that!
I can totally relate
Sounds like somebody that don't care about/respect you.
So True, I'm in one too, He yells, And don't want to hear are care too and don't care about how you feel at all about that
I told my ex of his actions many times but he still continued with his narcissistic self. Didn't realize how toxic it was until long after.. took me a few years but I found the strength to leave him after 4 years in January. Presently, I'm the happiest I've ever been without him. Ain't God good
All the time!
I knooow that’s right narcissistic men are the worst.... I left one in 2019!!! Very bad toxic and a very big deficient not a strong asset at all!!!!
😥
Thank God you let him alone. I pray the Lord continue to give you the strength to stay away from him in Jesus name.
God is good.
I’ve learnt to walk away immediately when I see red flags, I do have the conversation first though before walking away.
Most men don't want to talk, they just stop communicating and go ghost mode. I have no choice because at that point I've given too much of my energy..
Exactly.. they stop communicating when they were texting you like crazy day & night
@@alihaqqani6205 not a good trait to posses because your ego is in your way of finding true happiness. Karma is what you put out to the Universe. You get it back ten folds. Be more aware of how we treat people. Never know you could be entertaining an Angel.
ua-cam.com/video/3meDxBgvguo/v-deo.html
@@intuitiveempath7315 need a suggestion from you. Actually I have a guy friend who just removed me 2 days ago. I really liked that guy and I was pretty sure that he liked me too but we never talked about it. The only source of communication was snapchat from which I have been removed now because I sent him my brother's snap but he didn't know that he is my brother and right after watching my snap he removed me. I thought he took it wrong. He was a shy guy I know because he never tried flirting with me and I think he thought that the guy in snap( who is actually my brother) is someone special of mine. He just walked away like this which is really hurting me. I removed him as well when I got to know that he removed me but still I miss so badly. What should I do? I don't want to initiate because he removed me without even thinking for a sec. I am just hoping that he comes back.
@@sparklinggirl3016 baby girl the way I see it if he was so quick to just go ghost like that to remove you rather I wouldn't even worry about it because that was too easy for him he got his guards up he's been hurt before really bad from what Im getting,, I would just keep moving on with my life and not worry about and don't stress yourself up by trying to wonder and worry about what's going on with him and why he hasn't reached out,, yet he removed you for his own personal reasons it's nothing you did wrong so don't beat yourself up okay. You are a beautiful soul that deserves real love. You may be like me, it's meant for me to be a free bird and fly high and spread my Empathy Energy to all God's creatures bog or small..Keep your head up💗 your emperor awaits. Love yourself and the rest will follow...
This video popped up as I am thinking off cutting them off sooner rather than later..
Just typed this precise thought a few minutes before I saw yours
Right me to i was about to do the same thing yesterday.
For me I was about to do it now lol
I was like is UA-cam reading my mind now?
Same thing with me but that doesn’t mean is a sign or whatever not to do it. Imma still cut him off lol I can’t keep doing this shit no more 💔
Self worth is a serious weapon, you only need to show me once your true colours, I don’t need to give you an explanation, your narsasistic self knows what you’ve done. Nexxxtttt!
Lady J 💅🏿👉🏿💃🏿
Yes!
💯💪
beautifully said
Exactly!!! With me it only takes ONE TIME meaning I will only express myself one time and in a effective manner
Some years ago I was madly in love with a guy who apparently had the same feelings. He even used to tell people that I was the one. However, he had strange behaviours, sometimes would just disappear and not answering my messages and than would come back several days/months without giving me an explanation. So I decided to cut him off when one day he just disappeared again. It was really weird and hurtful. So I made an agreement with God. If God would heal me from that pain I would never, never contact him again. It has passed 5 years already and he keeps texting me without getting a response.
He lost one!😁
hey liz
Way to go, Sister! No one is worth your relationship with God. 🙏💙🙏💙🙏
Block him. His messages and calls should not even be able to reach you. Very proud of you.💜
This is exactly what happened to me months ago..... I cut him off after several disappointments........II did the right thing.....
Everybody CAN'T be replaced. Some people are acually one of a kind.
Please
Its just makeup😂
@@yeahthatsme921 I wouldnt knw because I dont wear makeup *shruggs*
Everyone can be replaced by someone who is better for you.
Everyone can be replaced! That is why we should not take each other for granted. 🙏💙🙏💙🙏
People don’t respect each other anymore enough to have conversations #sosad
Facts im not having conversations with single mothers that's settling 💯😂
Some do and some don't!
Hope Wilson exactly
Marisa Peer I am enough you tube videos
Uani P 🙏
It’s a delicate situation! Most women are willing to give 1000 chances and most are over communicators and so for many that cold turkey cut-off is the only way they can move on to a healthier self and relationship. When you always comeback to communicate your next action it gives that person a window to tell you what you “need to hear”.A temporary “promise” until it fades out again! The best thing an ex ever did to me was cut me off lol while I wasn’t the toxic one I was able to heal and live without him (he thought he was punishing me) and when he tried coming back I was so over and had a clear vision of things!!!
Yep. I had to do this with my ex. Helped me move on easier. Best decision I ever made after 5 years 💜
Same here ..... didn't cut off when I should have .... Did have the talk after ... However I did not want to get back with him
bonnet I wasn’t tryna punish I knew I wasn’t gonna do right & I didn’t wanna continue to hurt her because I still wanted to fuck around
@@sheloves3663 Yes I can relates
Same thing happened to me. He cut me off cold turkey with no explanation, no closure. Just ghosted me after 2 years in a relationship with him. He got married, and has a kid. Guess what?? He came back after 3 years of no contact trying to be FRIENDS. Yeah right! I ignored him, and of course he didn't have no remorse and acted innocent. Sorry not sorry but this door is 🔒. Move on!!! ✌🏾🙏🏾💃
There's only so much we can take, I've expressed myself more than once.. Gave him second with all red flags but still actions never aligned with his words.. What's best for me is to work away and focus on myself.
ua-cam.com/video/3meDxBgvguo/v-deo.html .
I agree. I see a lot of people saying there is no point in talking, & that sounds like a big defense mechanism. Just because you talked to someone doesn't mean that effective communication occurred.. A soft tone & kind words doesn't mean effective communication has occurred. Another good point is honesty. A lot of people can barely be honest with themselves these days. 🤷🏽♀️
You don't need to talk with the person. This will just give the person the way back to you, great manipulators can turn everything you said in their favor.
Everyone older than 30 already learn everything he could about himself and internalized behaviors, he was already called out about that thing by their ex. Block and bye
AMEN
A honest conversation not just a conversation, discern
Facts...when a person show you who they are by their toxic actions...say goodbye!
Simple😂
@@snowblacc369 agree. The difference in your type of conversation might, just might help them, even if you don't continue in the relationship.
I did this a lot. I rejected them before I got rejected. Yes, communication is key.
I just cut someone off. Not even 1 month. Im not dealing with someone that's ok with ignoring and ghosting me in the beginning. I will be the one that suffers if I keep it around. He served his purpose i suppose but if I ok him treating me like that in the beginning it'll only go downhill in the future! I let him know why as well. I was nice about it
I'd rather not cheat. I leave! Straight up💯
Especially when I've tried my part to make things work and the other party wont cooperate.
I figured that how a person treats you says a whole lot more than what they tell you.
Words are cheap! Anybody can afford them.
Words are cheap! Anyone can afford them. Great insight!
So many of us lack patience. When it comes to communication, learn to not be defensive. Affirm your spouse or significant other feelings.
Amen
Amen.🙌🏻
The best comment
Well said! We're too quick to throw in the towel. We're constantly looking for perfection from others when we ourselves are not perfect.
I actually am going to cut someone off. You can have the conversation and the person can say they hear you, make some adjustments, but still doesn't get that some of their actions are just not acceptable. You cannot keep giving chance after chance to someone who clearly just wants to waste your time! Value yourself first! If they really wanted it to work out, there would be some direction, a goal, i.e. dating with a purpose! Amen!
Amen
Blunt honesty. Exactly to the letter of what he was saying. Discernment of healthy and unhealthy whateverships goes a long way. Keep making mistakes. Unhealthy straight off. These are sadly the places where more give there most energy to. It's the heathlier ones people tend to cut off too soon in fear of it becoming unhealthy.
"Abandon sincere communication when communicating with the insincere"
Whewwww
Love this dang!
Too many people are afraid of having that talk or a serious conversation.
That's me - I was quick to cut a guy off but I'm learning how to properly resolve issues and even in that it doesn't mean the person is meant for me...vulnerability is necessary right but not every man is worthy of it.
Agreed Communication is Everything!
You judge yourself by your intentions. Others judge you by your actions. Communicate so there is nothing to wonder about.
It's a hard lesson to learn, to be willing to confront the thing even if you think that it's all clear. Misunderstandings are also so easy to happen.
I respectfully disagree with this entire video. I have to say this is an example of the limitations a man sometimes have when offering advice to women. They do not have a woman’s intuition. I’m sure it’s well intentioned, but it’s not healthy/sound advice. When a woman is at the point of cutting someone off that she is with or hopes to grow with/has interest in, it is typically past due and well deserved. Most relationship books agree that women are more communicative about their needs than men - especially when they still care. When a woman goes silent it’s because it’s a wrap and we’re tired of the wasted energy. Ladies, follow your intuition and do what’s for your highest good. Block can be your best friend for your own emotional and mental health. We KNOW when miscommunication is happening because the person does not care enough to change the behavior. If you continue to engage, be prepared for a Ferris wheel of confusion, anxiety, stagnation, and game playing. Cutting someone off is most likely to preserve your dignity and self respect. Don’t force what doesn’t fit! #divinefeminine
msjreneful Sis I agree with everything you’ve just said. If my intuition is screaming at me that something’s off, something is off and I ain’t sticking around to find out what that is. What is sent by God for me will find a way to remain in my life.
Yes, this hits it perfectly ❤❤
Well said... Men know what they want and will act right when they want it. If you have to constantly struggle with them for respect, you are wasting time, mostly yours cause he may already have other options. Move on with your head held high.
UA-cam video Marisa Peer I am enough
I get everyone's point. I agree. But what Stephen is saying is learning to communicate your truth before you leave. That's all. If he doesn't allow you too then no problem. But at least communicate. That's all he's saying. He's actually encouraging people to leave. This depends on how much abuse or toxicity was involved or course but everyone has been hurt to different degrees so everyone will cut someone off their own way. But Stephen is teaching a principle. Learn to communicate as your foot is out the door.
My biggest pet peeve is explaining myself to someone and before I'm finished talking they build up an idea of what they think I'm going to say and cut me off then go in a totally different way. listening is a skills that everyone should practice, even if you don't agree with what there saying, let him/her talk without interrupting, that's the key for successful relationship
When a woman has been in a cycle of toxic relationships for most of her relationship life then she finally breaks free from the cycle, It can be challenging at times to not cut off some people with certain "familiar" toxic traits but like Stephan said, when communication has been acted upon and the person still behaves the same way, you need to CUT IT.
That's my survival tool especially if I see the signs...but I probably blew a couple good things too jumpin the gun with the cutoff
Agreed!! Definitely something I have had to be mindful of!!
well said, sister!
That is a great point!
This is me after I had a narcissistic relationship I left. I dont let no man play with me idc. If you playing with me in anyway you gotta go.
Yes communication is the key but when you’ve told that person how you’ve felt daily and how to try to change it and they don’t listen then what else is their left to talk about? I was in a relationship like that that I had to leave even tho I didn’t want to cuz I loved him but I told him til I was blue in the face how I felt but he didn’t listen. He talked to me demanding and put me down and used me financially. So you can try to communicate but sometimes it just doesn’t work🤷🏼♀️
walk away sis... he isn't matching your energy, no reciprocation.
there are men out there who are willing to not only match but supersede your expectations.
I feel you on this.
I just got out of a toxic relationship and presently looking for a mature lady to be with.. Maybe we should get to know each other.
True , the person knows,there is nothing left if there is no change but to just cut them off
Ever Kings hi there
I disagree with this video advice for many of the reasons here. I love these comments as it reminds me that I am not a sheep. If something doesn't fit right. Don't follow it. Trusting my intuition. I owe no one a conversation. If I decide enough is enough. That's enough.
That's the truth.
There's a song with Barbara Streisand and Donna Summer, titled, "Enough is Enough." And, that song helped me through many failed relationships in the '80's.
As a matter of fact, I am going to put that song on my playlists!
@@b.k.r.doggielover5449 😅 Lovely ..
I haven't heard that song for years...I'm gonna listen now 💃🏽...very timely
I listened to that song, over and over last night. It's the 8 minute version. I put it on as loud as it would go! That song is very healing. And, those 2 powerful voices, Donna Summer and Barbara Streisand, bring about strength to let go of toxic relationships. At least, for me it does.
I put that song, "Enough is Enough," on all 4 of my playlists.
I can't believe I didn't think of that song, until I read your comment!👍
And, it's very strange how that came about. I'm glad it did. Your comment came just in the nick of time, for me.
Thank you, again, for your comment. ❤🥰
I believe it depends upon how serious the issue is. If it is something like he said that can be corrected and they're not willing, then I would not discuss anything further with them. But sometimes it is a misunderstanding and communication styles. I do try to talk things out with a person regardless of the type of relationship or friendship. Then if they engage in the dismissive behavior of my feelings then they're gone.
I disagree with these comment for many good reason here. I love the Bible as it reminds me the difference between people with god and people without god know as godless. People need to ask god for advice instead of listening to they’re evil opinions and beliefs of others that’s are godless
Sharing how you feel is very different from blaming! That is an important factor for sure. Do not blame others for how you feel
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate that ❤️
@@MeetStephanSpeaks ✌😁
Just my opinion....You cant force someone to talk...if they are not willing to be open and transparent once you put all your cards on the table then it's in your best interest to walk away.
Jacquet Scarbrough ain’t that the darn truth!!
Ain’t that the truth!!
Exactly. It can be dangerous too. I thank God he told me many things and kept me safe.......... 🖤
I wish only I've listened earlier.......... I know the pain doesn't compare to the joy God has promised is coming.....
Thank you for the beautiful community too💙🌈
I agree with this
Communication is everything, how you feel about talking to someone and telling them everything that is wrong on both ends and you still get no results so all you can do is cut them off. I like to talk in person not thru text and I feel in my last situation I can’t blame her for what I allow myself go thru . I saw the red flags and chose to deal with it.i hate things didn’t go good because I know deep down she’s a good woman but she have scars and that I can’t help her heal and in the process I was cutting myself creating scars. So I agree communication is the key and if that don’t work just break up , heal and move on.... it’s not just women who go thru this we men go thru it a lot especially dealing with a woman who have so many scars from her pass
We talked and I let his indiscretion slide once but I made it clear..... if anything like this comes up again I'm gone forever. 8 months later he forced me to keep that promise.
Communication is key, but its all dependent on the person you are dealing with as to how they perceive what you say to them. Especially if they are narcissistic.
Not because they hear you, mean they listen to you.
Quick to respond, slow to reason.
Unapologetic for lies, allergic to the truth.
Cut them off!!!
You couldn't have said these words any better..we as women fall victim to our heart and emotions, that's how we allow the wrong man in opening us up for more heartbreak!
dang .. right on time .. i do be cutting people off with no hesitation so i guess i can try to express myself and see if anything changes . platonic or romantic . thanks for this 💚🌱 namaste
Yes girl. You never know what people are going through and how that relationship can change after a heart to heart.
Justine Mfulama most def . growth is a process and i’m certainly learning more to become a better person and handle things more healthier
Sounds to me like you’re talking about people who don’t love themselves. People are out here looking for someone to fill them up and make them feel loved and they don’t even love themselves. They’ll spend more time, energy, and resources on the other person then themselves. I think it’s easier to know when it’s time to cut someone off when you love yourself, have healthy boundaries, and are grounded.
Powerful video .. I am the Queen of cutting things off deleting and blocking and not giving it a second thought. This is really making me evaluate if I ever want something to work out
ua-cam.com/video/3meDxBgvguo/v-deo.html Cutting people out of your life is necessary, a lot of people wait until it's too late
I used to be “queen” too. Then one day I was vulnerable, not sexually, but you know. I allowed myself to let someone in; I got hurt 😢. That was a couple days ago…🤫
The current situation in the country and world should be a major eye opener; if he/she isn’t a ride or die person in a time of uncertainty, say au revoir.
Robin D. That’s right my lesson I’ve learned from that ride or die chick shit , I ride with a ninja for 23 years he’s broke and when he got on his feet he was gone , showed him how to build his credit became a truck driver and left. Please don’t be that ride or die chick . Smh change your mindset. Frfr
has always been like that in human history
Communication is key!!! and 'Express your thoughts.' ' to bring about a understanding.. which equals peace between 2 people. . .
👏👏👏👏👏👏yes. Constantly moving on before communicating effectively. U get a new person. That person got a different problem
Thank you for sharing your thoughts I appreciate your feedback!
ua-cam.com/video/3meDxBgvguo/v-deo.html Cutting people out of your life is necessary, a lot of people wait until it's too late
When the man is immature and I did talk to him. There was still no change. I raised 1 son and I can't raise an grown boy who's supposed to be an grown man.
ua-cam.com/video/3meDxBgvguo/v-deo.html .
Damn. Woke up to this today, when I say it came at the right time... I'm probably still cutting somebody off but I have a lot more to think about first. Appreciate this.
Wow your video has Divine timing! I literally was going to my GF house to cut her off. I love her dearly but I know deep within my heart it was only a season. I didn’t talk to her due to ignoring phone calls but I did pay her back all the money she lent me plus interest. It sucks but life is about growth. Thanks for your Content. God Bless Bro!!
I totally agree with the points he made. Most people react more than they respond and because of that the message the person is trying to deliver is not received. I would like to add that before a person cuts someone off and decides to engaged in a conversation, I think it’s best to go into the conversation with no expectations. Most people don’t communicate well because they’ve communicated with themselves how the conversation will go before it even happens. And because of that, you can block the possibility of a great outcome. But when you go into the conversation not expecting anything, not bad or good, then there is an opportunity for open dialogue or even a mutual agreement to walk away from one another peacefully. Also I think most people approach communication with a “you’re wrong, I am right” mindset rather than understanding it might just be a difference of opinion and understanding. I think as humans we have to stop thinking that the people in our life can read our minds and understand life the way we see it, regardless of how long we’ve been with or known each other. Because the truth is thats what can makes any relationship blossom; it’s in the difference of how we see and view life. We were created to be in harmony with one another rather than be at odds. And the more we are at odds with one another, that’s the Devil just clapping at his hands at what he is doing. Lastly I believe having the conversation before you cut the person off, comes from a place of respect. Respecting them enough to be vulnerable just as much we claim to respect ourselves and be honest with ourselves. But that’s just my two cents. I’m done now. Exiting left 🚶🏾♀️
Good points!
This needs a part two! This is a deep and serious topic! We often let go of what God has for us and chase what we believe we deserve then decades later realize otherwise. Too many of us 60+ still trying to figure out why we’re still single or later realize the one we wanted was not the one we thought. Often times we unknowingly chase what we want and reject what God has. Blessings to those that understand the marriage vows... because many of us believe we are marriage material.
Stephan, I have HAD that talk...MULTIPLE TIMES....he's always got his phone in his hand and on FB (I have to literally tell him to put it down), then when I tell him What hurts...he says okay and goes right back to his FB scrolling and being the narccistic verbal and emotional abuser. Then he seems to get worse..I MAKE IT CLEAR EXACTLY WHAT I DON'T LIKE...and he still does it more. I dropped his tail...cut all ties and I don't really care to hear crap!!! And IF I saw him on the street or in passing..I promise I wouldn't acknowledge his presence. HE'S GOING TO KNOW S GOT REAL.
Good for you girl !!!! He was NEVER going to change. So you had to do what you had to do!
@@iridescencebyelle2020 THANK YOU QUEEN...OH BUT HE IS ACTING THE DERANGED MAN NOW..TIME TO GET THE PO...HE'S NOT TAKING IT TOO WELL...HE DIDNT BELIEVE ME WHEN I SAID I WASN'T COMING BACK...I LEFT ON THE 4TH AND HE USED THE FIRST FEW WEEKS TO PARTY, WHATEVER..NOW HE'S BORED AND CONTACTING ME..AND HE'S NOT LIKING MY REPLIES...HE SENT A TOTAL OF 97 EMAILS...I DIDNT SLEEP THAT NIGHT..WAS MONDAY
@@charlenemoody4496 you be careful Sis. Any update? How are things now??
Maybe you chose poorly to began with
@@2delicious57 I don't choose. He chose me...but I'm definitely the wrong one.
If I distance myself from someone I do it knowing I've explained why and I do it calmly, maybe too calmly, because I don't strive to make someone understand but hope they would just listen to how I am feeling because I try to do the same when someone is sharing how they feel. I do agree with everything you said and there may be some situations where a person does not take what you say to heart until you make a move.
I most definitely agree with cutting folks off that are negative. It’s no need to keep them in your lives 💯
Thank you for posting this video. i recently got into a heated argument with a childhood friend of mine and i honestly wrestled about cutting it off. Rebuilding my self image from trauma as a kid has been one of my major undertakings as a man to evolve and become better and he made me feel those exact feelings of lesser than. After watching your video, I wrote a detailed letter to him describing how i truly felt without attacking him and why i felt that way. He completely understood, apologized, and moving forward we have a better understand/respect for each other as friends.
Because of you, I was able to keep and reconcile with one of my best friends. Grateful is an understatement. Thank you once again sir.
Many blessings,
Anthony
ua-cam.com/video/3meDxBgvguo/v-deo.html Cutting people out of your life is necessary, a lot of people wait until it's too late
I def think conversations should be had when determining who should and who shouldn’t be in your life. But in order to do so effectively there has to be 1)mutual understanding of & respect for one another & 2) compatible communication styles. Not the exact same, just compatible. As much as you can, verify these two things *prior to* becoming emotionally attached. If not communication will be moot & the relationship will drag & drain. Here to tell you it’s a painful experience needing to cut ties w/ someone you’re attached to who never understood, respected or knew how to communicate with you in the first place. Don’t do it - choose wisely & make sure y’all fit, up front.
Thank you. I needed this exact message
This is the Absolute truth! Talk through your feelings, because the person may not know they made you feel a certain way. I always say this. This whole message!!!whew! 💯
I’m 27 in a relationship with a 42 year old . He’s a great person very good heart but I cannot have intellectual deep conversations about life with him. We don’t have interests in common , we never argue or fight but it’s good vibes . It’s been hard for me to like tell him I don’t see this being a long term stable thing . I want someone that fires my flame every day mentally and physically
ua-cam.com/video/3meDxBgvguo/v-deo.html .
I can relate.
This is one topic that everyone in a relationship has been through. The comments are eye opening. Please Stephan give us a bigger and balanced version of it.
ua-cam.com/video/3meDxBgvguo/v-deo.html
You were spot on in this video especially the part when you starting to really care or love them , it’s little for error
Thank you for this video! It's called RESPECT! Not only respect to the person, but yourself. Walk away with dignity not like a toxic person. Respect, love one another we're all God's children.
I have tried so many times to talk and now I feel like I'm chasing, when he wants to talk he knows where I stay but I'm not waiting for anyone.
If people don't treat you with kindness or respect I don't think you need to have a chat because people refuse to look at their behaviors.
ua-cam.com/video/3meDxBgvguo/v-deo.html .
Thank you! You’ve confirmed some things for me and helped me realize and know that I’ve exhausted all avenues. I appreciate the wisdom. Be blessed!
Exactly right, I’m so happy I’ve done allllll these steps before I made my decision and I’m thankful I made the right one. I headed on out 💯💪🏻
I appreciate honesty and would love to communicate with someone who is willing to communicate with me. I am a firm believer in communication being the key and you should be able to talk about anything and everything. I live in positivity and I would never cut someone off without expressing my needs and desires.
Therapy definitely helped me improve communication skills, listening skills and set boundaries. I think one of the biggest problems with people today is they let things pile up instead of calmly telling you what bothered them in the moment or soon. Don’t smile in someone’s face if they’re doing something you don’t like. Don’t let shit accumulate for months, lash out and then cut them off. Communicate sooner than later. Secondly, you have to be willing to deal with feelings of discomfort and shame when communicating because being wrong doesn’t feel good, that’s why we deflect and get defensive, we want that awful feeling to go away. Communication doesn’t always fix things but it does allow you to make your feelings known, whether or not the other person understands where you’re coming from and that should always be the goal. It should be a release for YOU, first and foremost. Get it out, so you can get on with life. Say your piece so you can have peace. At the end of the day, no one can take your truth away from you.
ua-cam.com/video/3meDxBgvguo/v-deo.html .
Imma just stay single no one has time for this
Amen 🙌🙌
Amen
🤣😩
Amen
Lmaaaaao 😂😂😂 love this energy
Cool video!! I'm fine with talking to someone before I cut them off, but because I'm in the 40+ group....you still getting cut the hell off!! Why? Because if you 40+ and still playing child hood games with your life....sucks to be you. Time waits for no man. 😗
Vera M I agree. There are so many out here with childish ways. Men can get stuck in a place where they’re not growing and evolving into adulthood emotionally and mentally.
Vera M Everything you said!
Yup my guy is 42. Either got ghosted or something happened to him. I have sent messages trying to talk (called as well)
I wouldn’t be so overly confident if I were you, you possess some childishness in yourself. Most important if you don’t have god in your life, you as in the same level as that person, sucks to be you. Think before you judge. 😏
Communication is key in all relationships. Thanks for the words of wisdom. Definitely needed to hear this right now. Stay safe.
Thank you for sharing I appreciate your feedback and stay safe as well!
Is it unhealthy that I hold the undefeated title of “ Thee Cut Off Queen “? 👸🏽
I don’t have time, energy, nor am I trying to put in the effort to explain to an Adult...how to get their self in check... I’m gone ✈️
Period i think the same way
Not unhealthy i do the same
lucky charms 😉
Not unhealthy at all. I am the Notorious Cut Off Queen and proud of it. Don’t have time for BS and foolishness.
U right Queen & if u hve some of ur magical power to spare please sprinkle some of that my way! Thnk u
Definitely a great reminder for communication.
Great advice. Effective communication and transparency are keys
Theory v. practice has been my experience. A man will say "Communication is important.", but when you communicate "You run your mouth." or "I'm not perfect." or some other justification for hurtful or confusing behavior. People would rather demonize another than proper self examination for improvement.
ua-cam.com/video/3meDxBgvguo/v-deo.html
I got cut off for “being too negative” when I was clinically depressed. Now, I was never negative to my friends, just to myself, but I guess that doesn’t matter. I didn’t understand why they all just stopped talking to me one day. I finally had a conversation with my “best” friend, who stood there telling me I was toxic while I choked back sobs because I didn’t know and they never told me. I understand that some people don’t want to talk or listen, cut them off, but please give some people a chance if they ask for it.
Agreed. A conversation should be had or (an attempt) prior to the cut. Let people know why, then move on. I’m guilty of not having the conversation because I always assume they know why they’re getting the axe.
Don't be scared to cut people out of your life ua-cam.com/video/3meDxBgvguo/v-deo.html
If you love yourself and know your worth it can save you a lot of heartache. And I definitely agree; a letter is one of the best ways a person can express themselves to their full capacity while getting things off their chest. It offers a sense of therapy during the healing/forgiving process too.
ua-cam.com/video/3meDxBgvguo/v-deo.html
Around 6 minutes makes things PERFECTLY clear....it's alot easier to go with the easy toxic than who you're truly in love with that is great for you! COMMUNICATION is always key I've learned along the way!
You hit the mail on the head once again! This happened to me-my ex cut things off abruptly on the phone after 1.5 yrs, and he was so emotionally shutdown that he couldn’t have a real conversation. He left things in an extremely negative and unresolved place with no attempt to talk through or resolve what amounted to a lack of communication and a lot of negative assumptions. He cut me off and projected everything onto me because he was afraid to have the hard conversations, to be vulnerable, and uncomfortable. It’s so extremely important to cut someone off for the right reasons and to do it in a respectful manner. Doing it out of fear is always the wrong reason, and it causes unnecessary hurt and sabotages relationships that could have worked. Plus, if you think the same thing won’t happen in the next relationship, you’re fooling yourself. No relationship can survive avoidance of hard conversations.
Communication is key. No time for a toxic relationship. Good information.
This is very solid advice, especially in this day and age. No one wants to truly communicate. Thank you for encouraging this. God bless you
Your wisdom is priceless… You’ve helped me so much I have to think about and ponder about my situation which you hit on today
I’m going to lean towards your POV with this. In our generation I’ve found, to protect ourselves from rejection or being told we crazy for feeling ‘a type of way’, the easier alternative is to cut that person out cold turkey. An endless cycle. I’m trying to personally work on this because if I’m noticing that my inner peace is disturbed and clearly there are things that need to be brought up to surface, should be should. And the concept around what’s the worst that can happen from me doing that puts me at ease.
I've met someone a few months ago I thought was a keeper. We hit it off really well, had our eyes focused in the same direction or it would seem so. Confinement came up and he chose to stay with his mom (red flag 1) instead of with me. Ok, maybe too early to be living together, so I brushed it off. But at some point, we had a huge discussion about how we see the future. I know perfectly well what I want from life, where I want to stand, what type of relationship I want, so I laid that on the table once again, as I already did previously. We were clear that since he doesn't want to get married and that doesn't matter to me it's ok; we were clear that we both want kids, but he suddenly changed his mind from "having one child" to "meh, if it happens or not, it doesn't matter", to "I'm not sure I want any at all" (red flag 2). He also changed his mind from "looking for my life partner" to "I don't know where I will be in 5 years" (red flag 3). So I got a bit pissed, but decided to keep a straight face and keep the conversation. I did say that it doesn't work for me, as I'm looking for a long term relationship and not just changing the guy every few years. I told him that if he thinks he's going to enter and exit my life whenever and however he wishes, I'm not the right person for him. And then he flipped the coin to "I've just never had this long term example as I never had a dad" and "my previous relationship was 8 years and we still separated" and "I'm willing to give it a try, but I can't promise anything". So I decided to just let it sit for a bit and maybe I scared him off. But the following week, he would withdraw more, distance himself from me, no more cute names, no more "how's your day going", etc. So I asked him if he's losing interest. He acted all surprised at that question so I explained why it looks that way. On top of the distancing, he would constantly make remarks on whatever subject I'd talk to him about as if he knows it all and I'm this stupid retard who has no idea about anything. So we had another long conversation, but this time it was super hard - exchanging long messages for about 3 days. I honestly tried to discuss and clear out everything, but when you have an immature stubborn philosopher ahead, there's nothing you can discuss - no matter what you say, you're wrong! He would twist my words, put words in my mouth, misunderstand stuff or not listen/read at all... He said that I'm dull and boring for having a plan for my life and wanting what I want. He said he can't do without passion and love and spontaneity, which I honestly don't know how having a plan means that you're not passionate or loving or spontaneous. I felt like he was just trying to make me leave, so I wished him well and told him I wish he finds his princess, but this Queen is gone. And that's it. I can't deal with people who don't know they need to grow up; who question why they need to grow up. People who would get into a relationship with the idea that it's all lost and we're going to break up eventually- tomorrow, in 5 months 10 years or 30 years, but we're going to break up - that's how he thought. And I need EF-in stability! I need to know that my 100% is paid back with 100%! We've discussed that on our first date - reciprocity, equality, stability, security, team effort! He doesn't know what "team" is if solving a problem means "withdrawal, distance and let's see if she gets it" - that's childish! So, sure! Let's discuss! But when you have a 12-year-old as a debate opponent, who can't possibly see far beyond his nose, you're wasting your time and energy you could have been investing in someone who knows what they want and what's important.
Good point! Tone is everything, communicating effectively and understanding. However making it clear about what's best for me. Having the gift of goodbye is good too.... Every experience is growth, self development and getting in tune to self and learning healthy relationship skills .
I am so so glad I listened to this video before making an irrational decisions. It’s eye-opening and very calming. I want to treat all people with love and respect a d this is the best way. You’ll be surprised about how many people care of how your feeling 🥰
🥺We can but they have to want to hear it sometimes people don’t want to hear it so that’s why it’s hard to talk to somebody sometimes😌
Well I just recently cut someone off bc he stated I wasn't letting him be a man and that wasn't true , I've talked to him about and he was the one acting like a kid with goodbye so I let him be.
Thank you for this one. I always feel better when I’m writing my feelings out. Because if we are talking it out, and I’m yelling and they are yelling, neither one of us is saying what we really want to say.
ua-cam.com/video/3meDxBgvguo/v-deo.html
Well said. Stephan I have tried that way you stated not in a relationship aspect, but with a friendship, my friend Pearl and I were friends since childhood 6-7 years. Both of our fathers were cold and abusive men to our respective moms who were quiet, hardworking gems, back then Pearl and I had a lot in common except financially her family had, mines didn't but that was never an issue to me. I was just concern and happy with us being friends, to make a long story short as we grew into young women she kept making poor choices in men and I kept talking to her about that and my hubby and I kept picking up the pieces when she fell, we helped her in everyway possible. Despite being a good friend to her over the years in her eyes she found "the tables had turned" and that my life was flourishing and prospering more than hers so she became jealousful and resentful toward me. She acted unreasonable and insensitive in my presence and always looked for a reason to be upset with me..the story is much much more than this I'm just scratching the surface here with this. So one day when she said we are not friends anymore I just let it be it was useless trying to talk to her.