When To CUT A MAN OFF During The Talking Stage Of DATING!
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- Опубліковано 15 жов 2024
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When To CUT A MAN OFF During The Talking Stage Of DATING!... In this dating advice video, I will talk about the talking stage of dating and explain when to cut a man off if he goes past the talking stage of dating. Sometimes you need to cut him off on the first dates, online dating, or somewhere in the dating stage. Take heed to these dating tips, and ensure you watch the entire video.
I don’t want you to continue staying with a man when you should let him go. I want you to know when to cut a man off to be able to cut him off and create room for the man who is truly best for you. This dating advice will help you avoid dragging the dating stage past the talking stage.
Cutting a man off is necessary to avoid being played and wasting your time with a man who is not worth your time and effort. You will prevent heartaches and disappointments if you know when to cut a man off during the talking stage of dating. Embrace this dating advice for women to know the best time when to cut a man off.
As a certified life coach, relationship coach, and dating coach, I want to make dating and relationships easier for you. I pray that you find this video helpful and you will be able to enjoy dating and have a fulfilling, healthy relationship.
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and more, well, I believe this dating advice for women video will give you the clarity you need.
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I hope you enjoyed my video “When To CUT A MAN OFF During The Talking Stage Of DATING!”
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Give the-guy-a-chance has always been a motto for me when starting out and meeting someone. But for a young adult like me I have this mechanism defense I have where I brace myself to defend my romantic and emotional integrites. I don't let it up simply because my body won't let me and I am worried that it might drive a potential guy away only because I played sheriff too hard about it.. I am still new to the idea of dating only because I haven't had an opportunity to meet guys who would like my sort of girl. Nor have I dated someone who's slightly more attractive than me by far. So give the guy a chance has been my motto since watching good romantic comedy flicks since watchng television of reality t.v... but I worry that I'm possibly too easy and too safe that I may accidentally lose his intrest. What advices do you have for women new to the game who would like to date available men?
Is it true that men lose intrest in women that are 'too safe'? What are the 'date' social 💧 like? Is it cutthroat?
Your sound was a good as usual. Thanks for your 'no nonsense ' messages
i don't mean you are the one I fell now ii don't fell you for all you know I'm not internalize it, I know you are much younger I don't like anymore men in my life that's true I will quit my sister scolded me is not good.
I will just turn off its more late now its already morning. ok just good morning to you ! ok thanks!
If you follow one rule, you'll never get trapped in this: Never date a man for his potential. Deal with who he is NOW, not with who you think he could become.
Revolution 2020 you better shut up & say it again..bcause when ur there for the potential & their reality keep slapping you in the face, it becomes real REAL..& that 💯
Still not fool proof though because they lie so well. They could be completely lying about having it all together. You never know these days bc so many of them are pretending.
@@gapeach7814 People always tell you who they are if you watch carefully. Nobody can keep up an act forever. This is the benefit of taking things SLOWLY and not getting physically involved for quite awhile. Get to know him in different situations. Pay close attention to how he acts when you state a boundary; when he's angry; and when he doesn't get what he wants. Don't overinvest, because you will psychologically be driven to make the relationship work so you can get a return on that investment. Only invest as much as you're willing to lose if it doesn't work out. Then you're only there because you want to be, not because you're trying to fill a need. That's how you make sure you're always free to stay or go, as it serves you, and not get trapped in unhealthy relationships.
Yep
Absolutely!!!
“If your absence isn’t enough to motivate him, your presence never will”…..I really needed to hear this. 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
Strong impressive statement indeed! ❤
35:34 min “If your absence doesn’t motivate him then your presence never will” 👏
This was the whole eye opener for me too 😮
Ooh... Powerful...
Yes..I loved that statement too!
Facts good bye don't come back
So true
Yes that's right. Respect yourself enough to walk away from anything that doesn't grow you, serve you and make you a better person. If a man isn't willing to commit to you it's because he knows he doesn't deserve you and he hasn't done the inner work to become a better man. Take back your power and realise how great of a person you are and what you have to offer. Don't be a woman who needs a man, be a woman a man needs!
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate that ❤️
Yes indeed
I love this...especially being a woman a man needs and not be a woman who needs a man
@Tina Roberts me too
YES!! Well said!!
I agree, when you get attached to the wrong person it destroys your life.
Absolutely!
Sometimes the wrong person was actually the right person to teach us the lessons we needed to begin to heal and learn how to save our own lives from repeating negative relationship patterns.💛 Praying you find the happiness and love you truly deserve as you move forward and start anew.🙏 God bless.🕊️
@@Goldenheart2911 Right on!
@@bumblebee_ms That was a lesson I learned a few months back from a comment on a different one of Stephan's videos and it really changed so much for me as I have moved forward on my healing path. 💛
@@Goldenheart2911 I totally understand and am grateful for your comments. I also wish you the best on your healing journey. As much as it hurts to be in and out of toxicity, there is always a lesson to learn. Cheers :) xx
I prayed to god asking if I should continue talking to a man I met online. The next morning he blocked me. There was my answer!
🙏
😂 that was funny but necessary
@@POWEE00 right 🤣🤣.
I held on. I held on. I HELD ON SO TIGHT knowing whole heartedly he was never serious. Years later, I finally let go. This video hit home.
I can relate because I did the same thing until I finally let go after many years
Same. For me, it's definitely a heartache that never truly heals.
It’s lame that it takes the woman having to leave and move on to make the man realize her value to him.
It definitely isn't an easy situation, but the focus needs to be on doing what is truly best 🙏
That's what I've begun to notice from a lot of married couples who've shared their stories.
AMEN ☝️🙌🙌🙌 Sista, FA'REAL... ❤🌹
I’m not going to waste my time during the talking phase. I’m at a point in my life whereas I knows what I want and what I need…..if it’s not coming out during this phase……I gotta keep my line moving. I don’t build my hopes up on let downs. Like K Michelle said in her song “you can’t raise a man”, therefore if he doesn’t have it, I have no time to build a man…..that’s it, that’s all
Exactly!
Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate hearing from you ❤️
Yes! Im going through that now too!😊💜
I totally agree !!!
TEACH!!
I cut men off swiftly and I’m still fatigued 🤦🏾♀️😂. I’m tired of checking men, telling men off, blocking men😩😩😂😂
Sounds like me I just don't want to be bothered 🤷🏾♀️
Same
Girl yess!!! It’s ridiculous 😒
Fr I gotta put them in their place sometimes they get way besides themselves 😂
Touché
Attraction is extremely important. If I can't picture myself kissing someone and enjoying it, I can't go ahead.
Thank you for sharing. I appreciate your feedback ❤️ 🙏
@@MeetStephanSpeaks you're very welcome!
Facts
So true. I met this man he was really, nice but he is, so ugly I couldnt look him in the eye. 🙈🙈
@@wendycarty6958 attraction does matter
I’m over the constant texting and not wanting to speak on the phone and meet up. I don’t have time !
Just cut the guy off yesterday! I am so tired of the lies, not putting me as a priority, choosing drugs and alcohol over me. Sickens me
I'm sorry to hear about that and I pray that you heal from all that you have been through 🙏
Did you tell him you were done, or you just cut him off. Because I'm about to cut this guy off but I should I tell him why or just ignore him (ghost him)?
@@Nia62899 I told him I am sick and explained why then I proceeded to block him. I got him cowboys ticket games, expensive stuff, card and other things.
@@Nia62899 You don't need to explain to a man anything who is NOT YOUR HUSBAND. Or pray about it and listen closely to the direction your going.
@@Nia62899 that's sounds silly tell him for what?🤦🏽♀️🤷🏾♀️
In the intro, Stephan talked about dating fatigue or dating burnout. I've experienced this right before getting into a toxic relationship and a dead-end relationship, where I felt incredibly stuck. Thankfully, I left that relationship! Ladies, don't ever allow yourself to continously date endlessly because you think dating means getting the numbers up in meeting the right man. That ain't true! If you feel burnout from dating, then simply take a break! This will prevent you from making major dating mistakes and stop you from dating the wrong guy like I did! Taking a break from dating all together will be your saving grace!
Love this!🕊🙏🏾✨
My break has lasted 8 years 😅
This is great advice
Gurl thank you well said 🙏
Oh girl soooooo true, I dated throughout my thirties to find the man for starting a family and all I got was divorced entitled guys with an ex wife and two children in the background and the exes hand in his pockets. So I ended up with a guy who seemed like the one eyed beneath the blind - in divorce but no kids. His approach was good, he showed effort that many others never did so I decided to give him a chance although he wasn't "the one" for me. Ended in a toxic stagnation of a relationship and wasted years of my life because I felt a lot of that guilt and pity that Stephen speaks of when he came begging after he did toxic shit instead of walking away. In the end he dumped me to monkeybranch to someone else when I became too inconvenient. She did me a favor with crossing his path and I learned my lesson. Never again even if I end up as the single cat lady. I was so wrong by thinking forgiving and giving another chance is what adults do when they want a relationship to last, you have to compromise right?! I always kind of thought it was my fault when it didn't work out with the divorced dudes before him. But they were entitled, they just wanted a women without baggage of her own because they wanted me to succumb to accepting their ex and their children without a prospective family of my own.
If you have to ask a man “what are we?” You’ve already LOST. Yeah we too grown for all that.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts, I appreciate hearing from you ❤
Great tips Stephan! I agree that attraction is important, if you’re not physically attracted to the potential mate then you will end up settling and not truly being happy. Although attraction is not everything it does play a role when trying to get to know someone.
Thank you for sharing. I appreciate your feedback ❤️ 🙏
I pray that God will continue to give u wisdom in your endeavors Stephan. Your video”why he keeps coming back” I don't remember the exact title anymore. This video Helped me 2 years ago to leave my 3 decades bondage. I will forever grateful🤴. Met the 👹 @ 17 & finally had the courage to leave @50. Thank you & God bless u🤴. I'm 52 now & @ peace🙏
Sad thing is as I got older I settled because I was lonely . Big mistake .
@@teresapetersen1690 same. It ended a week ago after 7 years. Although I was late I could have found my real mate instead of wasting time for nothing
Attraction part is real. People say all the time that "men are visual creatures","men like beauty" but WOMEN DO TOO !!! i have settled for men that have let themselves go and don't workout and told myself I'll motivate them to workout, IT DOESN'T WORK. they start and then get lazy and stop. I was always fixing them up in my head. I've always gave the chance and thought I'll get over it because people tell you you can't have everything on your list but dammit ima get close next time
Thank you for sharing your experience! Hopefully, it will help others learn from it. I appreciate that 🙏
"A good guy isn't the right guy"
Absolutely!
“Give this guy a chance, he’s a nice guy, Blah blah blah..” that is how it always goes !! 😂 Thank you Stephan for saying it like it is !! 😂😂😂
Indeed and guys should stop asking for chances lmao if they think they don’t have one don’t go there
Hes a nice frog lol. I need to be attracted to him periodT
That’s how I got my trauma 😅
"If your absence is not enough to motivate him, your presence never will."
If the man tells he doesn’t want a relationship or kids, that’s exactly what that means. It’s the same thing when a woman says to a man, I’m not interested. There’s no confusion there. Someone I know is waiting on their “soulmate” it’s been over fifteen years. The man is married to someone else and not talking of a divorce, not making moves for a divorce, and she is still waiting on him. Don’t do this to yourself. It will come together if that person is meant for you. Don't force something that isn't working. God Bless you Stephan. ❣
Thank you very much, and may God bless you as well 🙏
You know you can want a relationship but not kids? It's perfectly OK.
@@renatika thanks but that's not what I meant by the statement my dear. If both parties are not wanting the same thing, it will not work. 💓 It's about being on the same page.
@@goddessoflight74 im not your dear, no need for a protectional tone here, this how you set a sentence.
@@renatika Happy Holidays
After 8 years of being single and celibate since becoming a Christian, I gave one person a chance and went on a date last Monday. He wants to spend all the time with me and I already have dating fatigue. I already pinpoint he’s not the one and not sure what to do. This video was right on time! I’m shy how to even bring up the conversation.
Check out the 5 best ways to make your cut-off game strong here 👉 ua-cam.com/video/SSn0SNUqJkU/v-deo.html
Hello Fern how are u
Stephan, I truly wanted to appreciate you from the bottom of my heart for all the help you've been providing to us through your videos. A few months ago, I did go through a heartbreak that left me very miserable. Watching your videos would comfort me and give me hope. Thank you, a lot!
I'm happy that the videos have been helpful to you. I appreciate your feedback 🙏
A 100% SIMP REPLY.
Same here. Stephen saved me from heartbreak when I truly felt like I was drowning. Now I try to us what I've learned to help other ladies and prevent them from going through what I went through.
Everybody needs therapy at this day and age. *saying this while healing in therapy myself* I totally reccomend it. I've never felt so weightless before, as big & beautiful I am. Stephan I love you brother. Thank you for your videos & your work! Much respect
Healing is definitely key. Thank you for sharing, I pray that you heal from all that you have been through 🙏
My silence is louder than any word I could ever speak.
Absolutely!
You always come out with a new video at the right time in my life 😂😂
Glad to hear that. Thank you for your response!
1. If you're not attracted to him
2. When you're only moving forward out of pity (if you feel bad leaving him)
3. When you realize you don't want the same things (one person doesn't want anything serious or long-term)
4. If there is any kind of abuse (physical, emotional, verbal)
5. When you've addressed a concern or issue, but it's dismissed or goes uncorrected
6. When you've presented yourself fully, but there's still no relationship (if he's struggling to decide how he feels or what he wants, don't keep pestering him, coming back to him, or giving him "girlfriend" benefits)
7. When your intuition tells you to
You are speaking facts 💯! We can’t make ppl change. It’s sometimes a hard pill to swallow but listen to what the person says and not what you think they want or don’t want.
You're absolutely right. Thank you for sharing 🙏
Omg i have done exactly that, felt he is wrong date 1, but pushed along, out of guilt and fear of being alone, he kind of gave me all the right words. 4 yrs of pain. Great lesson. Was never right for me, at all from day 1....
I'm sorry to hear about that. I pray that you heal from all that you have been through and be able to keep moving in faith 🙏 ❤️
Stalking is a real problem for me , no matter how clear and kind I am they get all worked up , the ego monster seethes and then I'm worried about my safety :(
Hey, I was wondering. What are the red flags, to a potential stalker?
@@StarFire-fk9jr after experiencing this many times, it tends to be the less attractive " nice " ones , they feel entitled to a " payback" for their " niceness" [ longest stalker was 3 years, currently dealing with a 6 monther ] . A guy who's sucessful/ good looking or a jerk upfront generally has better things to do and is too self involved to pay attention to you for extended period of time so if you're not interested they move on fast.
I think the main thing that would make me cut someone off, if everything seems to be lining up, is no progression past a certain point. Like, if I've made it obvious I like you and could see us dating, and there is no reciprocity, I'm wasting my time.
Thank you for sharing. I appreciate your feedback ❤️ 🙏
I sort of agree... I think sexual attraction can grow as you get to know a person, get to know their facial expressions, body movements and what they mean. But you do know that that possibility exists. However, if you find someone repulsive, and the more you talk to them, the more hesitant you find yourself to move forward, don't push yourself. You don't owe anybody any answers. Even your own self. It may be something that you're picking up on, but can't verbalize yet.
Boy that attraction thing is definitely important. It doesn't change... 🙄. I agree.
A soul tie can be formed through a kiss, so be careful with whom you lock lips.
Thank you for sharing. I appreciate your feedback ❤️ 🙏
@@MeetStephanSpeaks - My pleasure⚜️
I didnt know that 😳
Totally experienced this too
The universe telling me I did the right thing on Friday. Just stinks that it stings. 😕
🙏
YES WHEN I SAY TIMING OF THIS
Me to on Saturday 🙄
Same! We got this ladies!!
Yes. I told him it was over. But it hurts like hell
The video is spot on because I am dealing with this issue right now. I have allowed this person to waste my time and I gave more to him and didn't get anything in return. I am learning the hard way and from your videos. Your advice and insight is helping me day by day.
Thank you Stephan. When I was younger in my teens I was always told he is nice give him a chance and it never worked out. At my age now I just rather be alone then with the wrong person. Thank you for being here for everyone! ❤️ You are a blessing!BIG HUGS!
Glad I could help 🙏
I want to thank you for providing the insight you have. You have helped me tremendously in both not being in my head too much and acknowledging that "give the guy a chance" is not necessarily a recipe for a healthy, happy marriage.
I'm happy this has been helpful to you 🙏
God bless you. This message came right on time for me. I had to walk away from a situation where not enough effort was made and I wasn't truly happy. Thank you
I'm happy this has been helpful to you 🙏
My dreams are finally coming true. I am growing. Facing challenges with persistence and grace alone has made me stronger in certain areas and a struggle in others. I appreciate your concern for women like myself. Your guidance makes it easier through the struggles and at a time when most needed!
Glad I could help 🙏
Amen, keep going !
I wish I could like this 100 times. Thank you so much for this!!!!! Dating is so confusing and difficult for me and I do end up staying too long. This is SO helpful.
Intuition is everything
Always important to listen to your intuition
Thank you , Stephen. I have been doing this song and dance with him for three years. I have finally cut all communication with him.
I pray that you heal from all that you have been through and be able to keep moving in faith 🙏
Thank you I needed this. Was married 23yrs until death came for my husband. This dating stuff is all new to me. I've been widowed 2yrs now.
I'm happy this has been helpful to you 🙏
35:35 ...I really needed to hear this tonight ...I have cried & wept all day long but I need to move on. If my absence doesn't motivate him then at least I know I've make the right choice to move on! Its not easy and my heart aches but I won't force myself on a guy and beg for him to do the things I need him to do for me just for some basic happiness ...I wasn't even asking for much.
we are crying with you
I feel this way about this guy I wasn't even in a relationship with. It's been about 9 months dealing with him but it hurts to let it go even though I know I need to.
I'm going through this at the moment...it's hard.
It’s very hard, harder than I knew it would be, and it boomeranged on me. I thought I would just go with this and he would change, but that was a NO. Let’s hold each other up continue to pray for Gods help, peace, and self love.
I hear you sis, just moved on from a situation ship and wasting my time.
You covered everything. I'm proud of the work you do 💯.
every woman who is in pursuit of the wrong man doesn't know her identity or she keeps ignoring it ✊🏿.
Also, Genuine love gets mocked by those who cannot attain it
Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate hearing from you ❤️
I had to do a lot of work on myself over the years and am still learning. I finally decided to date someone after 3 years and the difference in how I reacted and responded to it is amazing. I decided to end the connection after the first date for these reasons: 1. No attraction, I tried to picture myself with him intimately and the look on my family's face. 2. Covering up an alcohol addiction, I can smell it through his cologne. I like the smell of a man's natural body. 3. Calling and texting too much, I've only known him for 48 hours. As soon as we have a complete conversation, he texts me long paragraphs about how good of a man he is. 4. Talks about his ex more than once. 5. He had unnecessary conversations on the phone while on the date. 6. He is a smoker, I don't like kissing, However, if I did, I wouldn't kiss him. 7. When he picked me up, he had a chicken bone in his car with ashes all over the place. I could imagine an ashtray with multiple butts and the smell of heavy smoke in his home. 8. He complained on the date about the seating in the restaurant and I had to step in to straighten out the situation.
The list goes a little further. I let it go in a mature way this time. I normally will just cut it off abruptly. He claimed to want an immediate commitment and said he wanted to guide me. I felt as though he may be controlling in a way. Or a smotherer. My instincts kicked in and warned me that this man's emotions may not be balanced, very impatient or entitled, a drug or alcohol addict and needs a lot of self work to heal. It is a possibility he is abusive in one way or another. His hygiene is poor. Secretly really wants a casual relationship. He seems to be trying too hard to convince me how good of a man he is.
That was discernment.God bless you for cutting it off as soon as you did. It could have gone worse. You knew something was off and that could have ended badly
Not a chicken bone😂😂😂
@@Nothingisnewunderthesun Yes, a freaking chicken bone 🤣
Omg you hit it Right On The Head! Thank you!! Intuition, dreams and the Holy Ghost I got ‘em all. I’m in a relationship that started 3 weeks ago. We met on a dating site & we’ve met on 1 date. Though I’ve shared that I’d prefer more phone & in person contact he says we have plenty of time & we don’t have to rush. We’re in our 60’s!!! Time may or may not be on our side 😂😂😂. Our 2nd date is scheduled in 3 days, I’m going to make it clear I’m not with this “schedule”, of his and it’s either great or duces✌🏾.
Thank you for sharing your experience! Hopefully, it will help others learn from it. I appreciate that 🙏
good job!
YES!!
I’m sorry not to rude or anything an I hope you don’t get offended!! But it saddens me to know at your age 60 men still cannot get it together!! I’m only 30 and I don’t know what else to do.
@@tiffyfittaz6550 I’m also a woman of a certain age, I just told this guy that we could be friends, he looked confused, his dental hygiene was the problem and his immaturity and the list goes on . So I said he’s not ready for me . I decided to move on, be careful of dream killers,and those on assignment from the enemy. I’ll wait on God.
Everything Stephan said is true !💯👏🏾 Each and everyone of us have to pray to God for the spirit of discernment, knowledge and understanding in every area of our lives. Amen 🙏🏾
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate that ❤️
Stephan, my dad always said to me when I was younger that the only time you can successfully change a man is when he's in diapers. I told him I can only think of two times in a man's life that happens Baby-hood and Senior-hood. My dad laughed, I said wait until you get to be a Senior, he'll be 79 this coming year still no diapers and active and strong everyday.
30:48 was the turning point for me. He said he wanted to pause with a weird excuse and I said nope it's a stop so there will not be anymore intimate talk. The hard part is having this same energy/strength when he comes back saying I changed my mind or things changed!
I have been listening to u and u are so intuitive and I’ve been walking on eggshells for so long and I finally think I am ready to exit regardless what others think. Life is for the living and I’ve been in the dead zone for way too long.
Amen me too 😭
Wow… this video just pop up right after I was done talking with someone! The last part about “when your intuition tell you” that’s very truth! I experienced it and learned from it now.
Thank you Stephan 🙏🏼
Ty for posting this comment. I just ended a month long thing w/ a guy bc my gut and intuition were screaming at me for something I can’t explain. Part of me is questioning myself, thinking to reach out but I know not to. Easier said than done.
You spoke to me in this one ! I feel so bad when I'm not attracted to the short nice guy. I really try to give kind hearts a chance ; but if it isn't clicking after 3 dates it never does for me :(
Thank you for sharing I appreciate your feedback ❤
There's short and then there's petit men... petit man are a no for me - i can't help myself.
Don’t feel bad a lot of short guys use nice to manipulate. I mean they know they can’t start off being anything but nice. I had one that kept asking for sex in “nice ways” 1 when u gonna let me love on you 2 can I come over and cuddle with u. He’s basically asking to fu**k but it’s supposed to be ok cause he says it in a nice way.
You are an example of a man to die for. I have three daughters left not married I pray my daughters find a man like you. One daughter says she doesn’t have time for a relationship. She is ALL about her career and her money. The other two are doing well in their careers just have not had the right man to cross their paths. Listening to your sessions gives so much sound knowledge to relationship. I pray that God’s awesome woman for you, your paths will cross soon.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts, I appreciate hearing from you ❤ 🙏
Maybe b/c Im the only child I have no problem cutting ppl off🤷🏽♀️ and use to being by myself anyway. I do not like anything outside of my comfort zone especially if its unhealthy✂️
Thank you for sharing. I appreciate your feedback ❤️ 🙏
A huge thanks from bottom od my heart , for supporting my decision through videos. I cut off already but you are helping me understanding better that i did right . 🙂
I'm happy this has been helpful to you 🙏
I tried to give a man that I wasn’t that attracted to and who was over weight a chance. I will never do that again
Thank you for sharing. I appreciate your feedback ❤️ 🙏
Same
I recently decided to cut communication with any enmeshed relationships in preparation for the marriage and relationship I want. I even purged my contacts on my phone.
I pray that you heal from all that you have been through and be able to keep moving in faith and receive the relationship that is truly best for you, the relationship God has for you 🙏 ❤️
@@MeetStephanSpeaks amen. Thank you.
Same!
@Stephan I was trying so hard not to laugh even though I know you were being serious some of the things that you were saying were so on point but this is the first time I can say that I found it humorous because we as women do these things and for some reason I don't think we know that men know we're doing them. Thank you so much for putting this out there
My pleasure ❤️
You are so calming and grounded. Thank you for all your help 🤍
This is exactly what I needed right now. I am struggling with dating fatigue. Here I thought that Mercury was in retrograde for dating too, not just tech. 😂 You are so helpful. I appreciate you!
I'm happy this has been helpful to you 🙏
😂😂😂😂 at this point even mercury is over it lol
Take some time for yourself! You don't have to date now. Rest in God!
Thank you, Stephan. I just did this with a guy who lacks a substantial amount of maturity. I learned that my personality was a signal that he realized he could not project his insecurities and control. I deleted a block his number. You are so right that it is best to focus on what you want and not settle for trash and wasted time.
Thank you for sharing your experience! I pray that you heal from all that you have been through and receive the man who is truly best for you, the man God has for you 🙏
If your absence will not motivate him your presence never will 😮 slap on the face and so true!
So glad I came across this video. It confirms for me that i did the right thing in cutting a guy off. I met a guy off a dating site & I was initially physically attracted to him upon seeing him and after our first date. After that, I struggled with my attraction because the way he dressed turned me off, as well as a few other things (he started to get boring). Other than that tho, he was a really nice/sweet guy and treated me well. For that reason alone, I debated whether or not to continue seeing him. My thought process being - he’s a good guy, he treats me well, there was some attraction initially. I figured I could give him a chance to grow on me. But that fell apart pretty quickly. He would make plans, and I just wasn’t motivated to put in the effort to see him. That’s when I knew I should just let it go/cut it off before it went further. I didn’t want to waste his time. He deserves someone fully into him.
I appreciate these tips you have shared ultimately it’s about being healed as a woman to attract the right Man you seek and laying out your expectations and standing by them, if the Man doesn’t care to meet those expectations then wish him well on his journey to the next…no point in wasting each other’s time. Can’t wait to see you in Detroit next month bought my ticket months ago I’m so excited 🙌🏾😃
Steph speaking real. Speaking All Facts!!!
Hope these ladies will take heed. FR
Stephan, this video and your advice is invaluable. Next relationship I’m in…if my man and I are not setting each others’ souls on fire, I don’t want it. No more settling. I bought your book about making a man cherish you and realize it’s for married women. I’m divorced but will still read it to see if I learn anything from it. Thank you for keeping it real. I appreciate you and am thankful I found your videos (and books).🙏🏻
Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate hearing from you ❤️
I’m so blown away since last night when I found you Stephan. God lead me to you! I went for years not believing in Him…I know he was always here.
Thank you does not begin to express my gratitude to you.
You’ve moved me to tears. Happy ones.
Welcome aboard, and don't forget to subscribe and click on the notification bell to be notified each time I release a new video ❤ 🙏
Walking on. Thanks. He’s dragging it out and I am not sure he is the one. If he decides and comes back we’ll see. Time to connect and energize my non profit, great place to focus. Thank you Stephan!
My pleasure ❤️
Attraction is a must! Whether mentally or physically 💯💯💯
Couldn’t help but notice how crisp this video is. Camera quality or lighting, either or, has this video quality at 💯! Tips are always amazing per usual! Thanks Stephan!
He lied to me about his age, telling me he was 32 when he was actually 37. I’m 26. We’re no longer speaking due to him having an “identity crisis” which he hinted at feeling inadequate in his life being 37 not at the stage his friends and sister are at. Luckily we only spoke for a month (def within the talking stage), but here I am still detaching and it sucks bc of how women are socialized to internalize failings as our fault. Ugh hoping this video helps someone else like it did me
I'm happy this has been helpful to you and don't forget to share so that others can receive love, healing, and clarity ❤ 🙏
I met a man who lied about being 40 when he was 46. Insisted he looked 28🤦♀️
Realised that he had way more issues than just age, passive aggressive when he encountered a situation he didn't like and super manipulative and played victim. 2 dates and I was done. Still single but never regretted it
I had that situation too a long time ago. This guy who I met online lied about his age - saying that he’s 28 when he was almost 40 at the time. I went on a date with him bc he like me. I said to myself I can’t do this. I cut him off bc he use manipulation tactics to get with me.
@@kwm9315 lucky you. I had someone who lied about age...TWICE!!! He ended up being my first!! 18 years my senior. He ruined my young years, being abusive & stalking I wish I never met him.
Hii Stephan!! I just wanna say thank you soo much for this video. I'm literally going through this exact problem with the pity situation and no attraction towards the person and really needed to hear this😩😭God bless you 🙏🏽 New subscriber here!❤
I'm happy this has been helpful to you. Welcome aboard, and don't forget to click on the notification bell to be notified whenever I release a new video ❤🙏
23:59 I think another reason people normalize and rationalize verbal abuse is because we think how people can have bad days and say things they regret. It gets tricky knowing when it’s not just a bad day especially if you’ve been through that in childhood.
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate that ❤️
This is all how i feel, with two long term relationships little attraction, no emotional connection but they were both great guys and did alot for me..i stayed hoping my feelings would change, they won't and you hurt people big time. Analyze why you are in or continuing a relationship, it should be because you're attracted and genuinely like them alot, hes right you cant give in the relationship to sustain it anything,else is settling and you will pay for it
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback 🙏
Yes this is true...especially on the he did alot but we had no emotional connection in all those years we were just functioning never really close or fun together, we genuinely really weren't compatible smh...I couldn't take it anymore cuz u just still feel lonely even in a relationship...it's like u just roommates and he's a necessity a handyman (using each other basically) smh smh 😭
@@lala5061 yes! Attraction physically and emotionally is needed, a handyman thats how I feel . You can be attached to someone but not romantically and its still hard to get out
Woah first minute in and I needed this message so much to give me some confirmation on my current path. Thank you!
My pleasure ❤️
This is sooooo timely! Thanks for putting this out, Stephan
Stephan you are spot on!! You give the best relationship advice out there, thank you! Would love to hear about how important a persons "Attachment Style" can affect relationships... God Bless you and so appreciative of your wisdom!! Xoxo
Great suggestion, I will add it to my list to get it done!
Red flags are a deal breaker
Thank you for confirming for me that I did the right thing but I also realize I ended it the wrong way. I was 6 months in and I ignored the HUGE red flag that he still loves his ex wife. I gave my feelings and emotions fully to him, no sex though. He kept his walls up even after I nicknamed him Jericho, no change so I was out. He wasn’t in head space for a relationship. I feel like I was just a placeholder 😔 I thought he would change. I called his behavior “underwhelming” and that was it. ✌🏽
I'm sorry to hear about that. I pray that you heal from all that you have been through and be able to keep moving in faith 🙏 ❤️
I so appreciate these videos and your work Stephan. I tried to look beyond my lack of attraction for a gentleman because he was "nice", epic fail. When things didn't work out, the resentment was intense because I felt like I settled for a man that I wasn't even attracted to. It wasn't fair to him or me. There has to be a degree of mutual attraction and this isn't something I'm willing to compromise on again.
Excellent points made.
Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate hearing from you ❤️
Stephan, I want to give you a blessing today. Less than two weeks ago I was going through some of the darkest feelings, ready to reject my faith in Christ and give in to the world. I saw a “random” clip of you on UA-cam one night. I fully believe that God brought your videos to my attention in the nick of time. I can’t express enough how grateful I am that you are following your calling and touching so many lives with truth. You have spoken life in to me. I’m halfway through your book, Love After Heartbreak and I plan to follow it to the letter. This unhealed trauma has been the root of my problems, both in my previous marriage and now as a single mother. I’m rambling here I know but I can not say enough, thank you. Thank you for giving of yourself to the Lord and to me. May the Lord bless you and keep you, may His face shine upon you, may He be gracious to you, and give you peace. ❤
Wow…the intern analogy for him to decided to pursue you was spot on!! 🙌🏾
❤️ 🙂 Thank you!
Yesssss, suffering from chronic dating fatigue right now! 😒
However, I don't think it's cos I'm drawing things out unnecessarily. I can certainly relate to "feeling bad" for not giving guys a chance if there's not an initial attraction, especially when families are involved in introducing us, but attraction is more than just looks, it's energy, so I'm letting that be my guide.
Also, I do tend to cut the "men" loose (I use that term loosely) if they're rude, disrespectful, only after sex, inappropriate, insecure, immature or just plain weird. It's more the quantity of odd bods that I find myself sifting through just to get to 1 who's "normal", and even then it's questionable. 🙄 That's what's emotionally exhausting.
I completely relate to what you said what causes the emotional exhaustion.
EXCELLENT TEACHING!!! If you're honest with yourself starting at #1, the rest doesn't have to be experienced.
Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate hearing from you ❤️
Stefan, this is the absolute best video I have ever heard on this topic. And believe me, I’ve been listening. To anyone who is watching this video looking for relationship advice, this one is excellent, definitely listen.!
The physical attraction thing is real! I tried to not pay so much attention to that and it was not a good ending. Lol. I was thinking, "Well... if even my pastor said it's important... I should have listened!" 🤣🤣
Thank you for sharing your experience! Hopefully, it will help others learn from it. I appreciate that 🙏
I’m just in the beginning of this video and it’s already making a lot of sense 😩👏🏽💗
Thank you I'm glad to hear that ❤
Cutting someone off is one thing, actually getting to that stage is another, with so many high standards and preferences out there, people are struggling to get together in the first place 😊
It definitely isn't an easy situation, but the focus needs to be on doing what is truly best 🙏
Saw Mr. Speaks at the restaurant Rock Steady the other night and he is genuinely a nice guy.. thank you for your expertise MR. Speaks. We value your opinion because dating is hard, especially in Atlanta.. too many fake people with ill intent. We appreciate you
In my experience I don't ever underestimate the power of attachment, anymore, that develops even when you initially not attracted to him or there were red flags or just things missing that make you turned off, attachment is a real thing ha and sort of takes control and then it's harder to leave, not because of your actual connection but purely because of attachment. I took the advice to not go for guys based on looks and I'm average in attractiveness and yes chemicals kick in, but there was a part of me that simultaneously felt put off and kind of repelled (just being honest), I just allowed that to take the back seat. I've taken the advice to let attraction build even in personality trait wise and I'm so done with that because it completely negates my intuition, my natural connection and compatibility. I know the areas that need exercise for a healthy relationship (trust, communication, etc ) but there are many things that really should be there without effort. There is so much biased bad advice based on people's own opinion like the ones I listed. so I appreciate Stephans more practical and real advice... finally people are calling things as they are. Ain't no shame in not being attracted to certain people. I know I'm not everyones cup of tea and I wouldn't want to be.
Spoke a lot of sense and wisdom in such sequence right from point no 1. Thank you Stephan!
My pleasure ❤️
You are incredible! Your videos are so helpful!!! 🙏🙏🙏 I just ordered one of your books. Can't wait to read it!!
Glad to hear that, I hope you'll enjoy the read ❤ 🙏
Taking time to heal is key before entering into any relationship. Once you have done the inner work and taken time to heal you look at things much differently in every aspect of your life. You understand that you are in control of the partners you pick and decide to pursue a relationship with. As a result you take pride and respect the choices you make. If you decide to enter a relationship with someone where there is no physical attraction, you are being disrespected, talked down or are ignoring red flags ask yourself... Why are you tolerating this? What are you looking to have come out of this relationship? Only you can answer these questions and many others like these; and only you have the power to do something about it. 💛 Self love, trust, respect and letting your intuition be your guide will help you develop a healthy relationship with yourself and in turn with others as well. 🙏♥️🕊️
Stephan thank you.That would be a great film, the "pity lady" who ended up married for 10 years. Another danger of getting involved with a man you're not attracted to is that he can end up pursuing you just to make a point to his own ego. This happened to me. As soon as he had proved his point i.e. I had became attached, he ended it. He later confirmed that he was determined to make me attracted to him after the first date when I was straight with him that I only wanted a friendship. You live and learn!!!!
I'm sorry to hear about that, and I pray that you heal from all that you have been through 🙏
@@MeetStephanSpeaks Thank you.
A lot of women get attached in the interest stage and that’s where they get let down early. I have boundaries set up to know the true intention of someone. When they don’t get something they want they usually stop talking me which is fine because I didn’t waste time.
Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate hearing from you ❤️
Thanks Stephan! I wish I’d met you long time ago. Now my rabbit hole is super big we have relationship and now marriage and kid it has been almost 20 years. I met someone that we both like each other so much but couldn’t be together it was a big hit to me. I donno how to walk away anymore since me and hub are staying for the kid and family. However we have addressed all the issues he changed a lot and I changed a lot. There is no hard feelings anymore. I think we both are happy now. I still feel regretful I dragged so long.
I'm sorry to hear about that. I pray that you heal from all that you have been through and be able to keep moving in faith 🙏 ❤️
wow this is so informative and well needed advice thank you.
My pleasure ❤️