Why following your dreams is ruining your life

Поділитися
Вставка
  • Опубліковано 17 жов 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 2,7 тис.

  • @betterideas
    @betterideas  2 роки тому +772

    What is one thing in your life that is immediately fixable, that would improve your overall sense of wellbeing if you dealt with it?

  • @faraway_is_close
    @faraway_is_close 2 роки тому +2306

    "I can't start dating people. This isn't the best version of me yet"
    OMG, this is so accurate, this is word by word what I used to say!

    • @vladmosiychuk
      @vladmosiychuk 2 роки тому +182

      I've been telling this myself my whole life. I'm 20 now, and I still haven't dated anyone because of this.

    • @deal2888
      @deal2888 2 роки тому +85

      ​@@vladmosiychuk Sup dude, wish you luck in overcoming that thing you probably not feeling very confident to do.
      I guess I only can tell you that most things are not as complicated and hard as you think they are, unless you are going to date a president or some shit idk.
      I felt the same way about getting a job being unexperienced or doing cold showers, jogging and whatever painful/hard excersises I do, but eventually I realised the anticipation is more painful than the "doing that thing" itself and my decision to me being afraid of such stuff was "just doing it" knowing I will/might fail, no matter how stupid, unplanned, irrational and unthought of that tip might sound. Not everything went smoothly, sometimes I fail and get frustrated, but I feel easier and happier after I've done the thing rather than before, not doing it while being afraid of it, and that's for the most things out there, I think.
      so I hope that helps somehow, good luck and know that you should use whatever helps you do that thing, even if its anger or whatever negative emotions that push you forward (wouldnt recommend that but I think you wont need them to control you as you realise that the very thing was easier to do that you thought it would be)

    • @v1d300
      @v1d300 2 роки тому +43

      @@vladmosiychuk As Gary would say at 20 you are just a baby. You have time to start the change you want today. Good luck

    • @fira3381
      @fira3381 2 роки тому +8

      YESS I even stopped video to think about it

    • @Part_121_Wannabe
      @Part_121_Wannabe 2 роки тому +6

      thats really me lol

  • @Chryslerdealership
    @Chryslerdealership 2 роки тому +496

    I actually read this poem on Pinterest today, and it was talking about how we shouldn’t force children to strive for extraordinary lives, but to teach them how to find joy in the ordinary. There was a line that specifically said, “Make the ordinary come alive for them, and the extraordinary will take care of itself.” I thought that was beautiful.

    • @destroyerinazuma96
      @destroyerinazuma96 2 роки тому +9

      Oh! I read something similar in "The subtle art of not giving a f" by Manson. I 100% agree.

    • @palesamphatsoe959
      @palesamphatsoe959 2 роки тому

      So profound!

    • @zeeq7331
      @zeeq7331 2 роки тому +4

      So beautiful, 😢

    • @zachcollette5608
      @zachcollette5608 2 роки тому +1

      I love that! Thanks for sharing it!

    • @neonflower66
      @neonflower66 2 роки тому +5

      This reminds me of a Pinterest post I read about living life like a Studio Ghibli movie. Those movies have a way of making even the smallest most mundane things beautiful. And they're right. There is extraordinary beauty in the ordinary.

  • @Rizulix
    @Rizulix 2 роки тому +2923

    "Imagine for a second that you are a horribly miserable person... Maybe you don't have to imagine"
    oof

    • @mirceatim3274
      @mirceatim3274 2 роки тому +20

      [:(

    • @sakeusberg
      @sakeusberg 2 роки тому +32

      Haha oof indeed

    • @coscorrodrift
      @coscorrodrift 2 роки тому +30

      LMFAO died at that part

    • @JK-yw2dl
      @JK-yw2dl 2 роки тому +34

      That struck like an arrow straight to my soul 😀

    • @ClumpypooCP
      @ClumpypooCP 2 роки тому

      thats the best thing you got out of this video?

  • @reimi97
    @reimi97 2 роки тому +298

    I wanted to be a filmmaker after I dropped the idea of being a space-engineer. For two-three years I leaned everything about it, went to a half year school and got jobs in the industry but I was still not happy. I had the same feeling as the guy in the film “Soul” where he asks the saxophonist after his biggest concert:
    “ What now?” and she amswers “Same time tomorrow “
    That moment hit me.
    Because then I knew why I wasn’t happy. I had this biig idea that when I made it as a filmmaker then everything will be great. I had a period where I needed to figure out what to do and now I’m in uni studying about digital culture and how information is spread. I LOVE IT! Also because I get to talk with so many people and learn about stuff I really find interesting. The most important is that I learned that dreams are not written in stones and life can be lived in many ways.

    • @federicomamone7213
      @federicomamone7213 2 роки тому +3

      Hey Ida, I'm ironically doing the same thing. Could I ask you what's your current degree title? Thanks

    • @reimi97
      @reimi97 2 роки тому +2

      @@federicomamone7213 Oh what a coincidence! I'm studying in Bachelor in Information studies.
      What about you?

    • @donyam7905
      @donyam7905 2 роки тому +2

      Very well said

    • @ellecrescent9834
      @ellecrescent9834 2 роки тому +1

      It sounds to me like you have a need for growth and connection which is awesome

    • @NEO_FromTheMatrix
      @NEO_FromTheMatrix Рік тому +2

      thank you for sharing your story ... I recommend deleting the info you shared about your location in the comments ... since you know, it's the internet.

  • @Tubbysneederful
    @Tubbysneederful 2 роки тому +51

    This is why I love the idea of to not worry about the future. Become the person you truly want to be and your best life will pan out perfectly.

  • @JasonVong
    @JasonVong 2 роки тому +1803

    This is me now. Dream job: UA-cam. I’m living my best life but I’m not “present” to enjoy it. I feel like I trapped myself in this hamster wheel of content creation that I didn’t leave any time for myself like exercising, playing games, or just exploring hobbies in general. Even making meaningful connection with people or seeing old friends I feel like I don’t have time for. I always tell myself I would work on these things but they always end up getting sidelined because I worry if I slow down doing my “dream job,” the dream would be over. It’s a toxic habit I accidentally developed and I’m trying to work through it. I now prioritize and factor in self-care into my schedule to make sure I don’t neglect it. I’m doing better but still got miles to go!

    • @redicent
      @redicent 2 роки тому +4

      I'm sorry.

    • @Cartman5101
      @Cartman5101 2 роки тому +30

      well written

    • @georgewhite553
      @georgewhite553 2 роки тому +19

      You may consider creating tiny habits that won't take too much time to go in the new direction you want. You can exercise for 5minutes every morning. Play a game for 5mins when in the bathroom or have a walk after lunch to clear your head and still be able to deliver frequent and great quality content. DM if you would like to talk more about it :)

    • @Cartman5101
      @Cartman5101 2 роки тому +12

      @@georgewhite553 Working out for 5 minutes? At that point you might as well just dont work out at all. But i get your point

    • @Part_121_Wannabe
      @Part_121_Wannabe 2 роки тому +19

      @@Cartman5101 well... you need to start somewhere, with a small goal not to discourage yourself

  • @TenSecondSongs
    @TenSecondSongs 2 роки тому +850

    I came to the realization that I used my “dream job” as my sole source of happiness and value earlier this year. Once my internet “popularity” started to die down or level out, I turned to every empty external source looking for validation, to overcompensate. I realized I starved myself emotionally and spiritually. Back in April I went to a therapist, starting working with a personal trainer and began to reinvest in myself again. Work on my relationships, and work on myself and shortcomings.
    This video really hits the nail on the head for me. You did a great job articulating what I was battling for a few years. Keep up the great work.

    • @gaston_rem
      @gaston_rem 2 роки тому +11

      Your videos were always fun and interesting. Truly revealing and humbling what you're sharing here, and it's great news you've taken the healthy route towards healing and bettering the life you got.
      Some people in your position, would have taken a more egotistical and desperate aproach when faced with the fact that the massive attention they got is flowing to the next thing. It's inspiring, thanks for sharing :)

    • @mind-blowinggames7528
      @mind-blowinggames7528 2 роки тому +4

      Thank you for sharing and talking about the dark side. Social media can be a great tool, but also like a drug - you need a bigger dose overtime to keep the high (because brains get used to the stimulus), but once you cannot get it, you feel withdrawal effects. No matter if you are a content consumer (binging, problem to concentrate) or creator (burn-out). My solution was also to concentrate on the process and reprogram brain with "Cognitive behavioral therapy."

    • @danemyburgh
      @danemyburgh 2 роки тому +5

      Love your UA-cam channel Anthony! Also love your songs from Silent Knife. "Could have been love" is an awesome song!

    • @HitokiriShin
      @HitokiriShin 2 роки тому

      You are doing it again, Anthony.
      Just kidding.

    • @camillasmarczewski238
      @camillasmarczewski238 2 роки тому

      Ele i've watch your vídeo with Violet orlandi 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

  • @faraway_is_close
    @faraway_is_close 2 роки тому +504

    "Following your dream is killing your gains" ©Jeff Cavaliere

  • @Shedshananigans
    @Shedshananigans 2 місяці тому +3

    I have to agree. The minute I gave up on my dreams I was instantly happier. I figured out that doing absolutely nothing was better than any dream. Stress is non-existent now that I’ve given up on everything. There’s nothing better than nothing.

  • @HarryJ10
    @HarryJ10 2 роки тому +30

    Just wanted to vent this here as it seemed appropriate. I studied at university for four years with the dream of becoming a car journalist. I thought it was my dream, to be paid to talk and write about cars which is my true passion.
    After applying to hundreds of jobs and waiting over a year after graduating, I finally got offered my dream job as an editor at Europes biggest car website/magazine.
    And it really sucks. Just like pretty much every job! The dream does not match the reality, and I’ve learnt that a job doesn’t define who you are. I’ll probably keep this up, but it’s what you do OUTSIDE of work that really defines you. What hobbies to you have? Are you part of any teams? What makes you unique and interesting when you’re free amongst the world?
    I don’t have any hobbies, I thought being a car journalist was all I wanted to do with my life. Now I need to start building and focusing on the things and people that really make life fantastic.

    • @gerofiore9695
      @gerofiore9695 2 роки тому

      It could be that the YOU that created the goal was the confused YOU, and thoughts, ideas that stem from this YOU are liable to go wrong, the deeper or real YOU would not have made those decisions, the real you knows what you are here for and suffers sooner or later hen you are running around on the wrong you mode and programming, the way to meet the real YOU is to meditate and calm down and slow down and stop! The wrong you will fight it and feel like its dying, but its not YOU, its dying, let it die.
      Then the veil will be gone and you'll realise the REAL YOU didnt need to be anybody, it knows who he or she is, if you still want to make goals make it from this YOU.
      Im talking more about myself here than you personally, what do you think?

  • @SadoYoutube
    @SadoYoutube 2 роки тому +1042

    I think he's saying straight up facts, getting too focused into a dream and leaving everything else will just make you feel the same even after you achieve your goal, that's why you should stop depending your happiness on that dream and enjoy the life as it is.

    • @martyboi
      @martyboi 2 роки тому +9

      Damn bro there's great wisdom in your comment ! 🙏🔥👏🙌

    • @sage-jz5ee
      @sage-jz5ee 2 роки тому +13

      i kind of agree till " Stop depending happiness on that dream" but i dont agree with the enjoy life as it" cuz that can mean ignoring all the problems that you are facing or pretending to not have any will make you miserable as well

    • @LavaCreeperPeople
      @LavaCreeperPeople 2 роки тому +2

      ok

    • @Pikastation28
      @Pikastation28 2 роки тому

      True

    • @breakthefast7005
      @breakthefast7005 2 роки тому +6

      @@sage-jz5ee I think what he means is being grateful at the very present moment of your life, that you are still living, still be able to face and fix problems. This does not mean that you are settled down, do nothing at all. Long story short, enjoy the process of facing and fixing your problem. Sorry for my bad English that I couldn't fully express my thought.

  •  2 роки тому +561

    So basically there is nothing directly wrong with following our dreams. We just can't forget to enjoy life while following them.

    • @toyesobayo924
      @toyesobayo924 2 роки тому +71

      Hustle culture has become so toxic to the point where I feel bad for enjoying my life cause they push the agenda that you gotta work all the time so much

    • @kawaiipoop3160
      @kawaiipoop3160 2 роки тому +35

      @@toyesobayo924 Honestly same, i feel so guilty to only work 30 hrs a week while it's such a great work/personal life balance and I can actually do what I want outside work.

    • @toyesobayo924
      @toyesobayo924 2 роки тому +13

      @@kawaiipoop3160 right like my birthday was last Sunday and I'm in college so I decided to go out partying with my friends, keep in mind I go to a huge party school with parties every weekend and I've only been to 1 party and that was during move-in week and I don't even drink or smoke anyway. Next morning I go on Tiktok and I see all these videos about people shaming others for partying during Halloweekend instead of grinding or working on something and I'm like wtf I've only been out twice now and I've been balancing work over play pretty well why do they gotta make me feel bad for enjoying this one weekend.

    • @raymondotoole2600
      @raymondotoole2600 2 роки тому +9

      Yeah so Gary vee isn’t the person to listen to. The dream isn’t what life should be. Life should be the dream. There’s a worlds most longest study on Happiness that suggests people who have a community and have bonded genuine connections with people, they live longer, they’re more healthy physically and mentally and depression rates were so lowww. Those who “ do it by themselves” are lonely, depressed, unwell and they deep down regret working hard on their own. sure some days you won’t have time for people but just your grind and that’s okay but when you have the opportunity to chill and enjoy company, do it !

    • @immortalized_onion
      @immortalized_onion 2 роки тому +4

      It's that but more than that, the core of your existence and your feelings won't change no matter what happens outside, UNTIL you directly work on them(thr problems) instead of thinking the magic pill of your dreams will cure everything and you'll live happily ever after.

  • @SethEverman
    @SethEverman 2 роки тому +365

    hey quick question why is this video about me personally?

  • @TheFatRat
    @TheFatRat 2 роки тому +513

    I love how many successful UA-camrs who comment here can relate to this. For me: I realized my brain is not made to be happy, it‘s made to survive. So I throw enough work at it that it has no time for brooding.

    • @bigjeff7230
      @bigjeff7230 2 роки тому +23

      Hey man love your work, keep your head up!

    • @paullooweijun5087
      @paullooweijun5087 2 роки тому +8

      Hey FatRat love your music, wish you are healthy and happy right there

    • @yeyeyeyeye2193
      @yeyeyeyeye2193 2 роки тому +8

      Fancy seeing you here lol

    • @davidliu2243
      @davidliu2243 2 роки тому

      yo it's thefatrat

    • @VaporChad.
      @VaporChad. 2 роки тому +14

      What a sad way to live life, having to work so as not to feel unhappy

  • @fabianmarcoschau
    @fabianmarcoschau 6 місяців тому +2

    This video is for people like me who already found out chasing dreams didnt work and now we are desperate. This helped me

  • @geekyprojects1353
    @geekyprojects1353 2 роки тому +757

    There is an old Russian joke:
    - What's your biggest dream?
    - To stop drinking.
    - Why won't you stop drinking then?
    - What's worth a life without dreams?

  • @gigasus77
    @gigasus77 2 роки тому +2206

    beautiful bald man only speaks fax

    • @ksauce9580
      @ksauce9580 2 роки тому +1

      Pigisus, make a video about this.

    • @Deni-td9de
      @Deni-td9de 2 роки тому

      Eyy pegasus is here yey :D

    • @Vulcannyx
      @Vulcannyx 2 роки тому +1

      you are absolutely right

    • @njay6494
      @njay6494 2 роки тому

      ayy pegasus is here

    • @GuyAAnderson
      @GuyAAnderson 2 роки тому

      He looks like Jen Psaki. That isn't beautiful.

  • @TheDhammaHub
    @TheDhammaHub 2 роки тому +76

    People always forget that any "primary goal" also has side effects. Lots of them. Everything is a tradeoff and that also applies to dreams

  • @IsmaGF85
    @IsmaGF85 2 роки тому +2

    Brilliantly put. "Follow your dreams" is one of the many lies consumerism has engrained in our brains.

  • @maurademi3006
    @maurademi3006 2 роки тому +187

    I don't think there's anything wrong with trying to chase your dream, as long as you enjoy the process. To me, it seems way harder to live without a 'goal' or dream job to work to..

    • @msfreya777
      @msfreya777 7 місяців тому +5

      I know right.

    • @earthgrazer5511
      @earthgrazer5511 5 місяців тому +8

      I am the same. I enjoy the process of following my dreams even though it can be extremely harsh sometimes.

    • @noulafrantz8589
      @noulafrantz8589 3 місяці тому

      ​@earthgrazer5511 sometimes I want to give up my dream I am going to retired at the age of 35

    • @rozilee01
      @rozilee01 Місяць тому

      Ini karena aku tidak mau dan bimbang mungkin guts ku sudah cukup

  • @xidigtarin7100
    @xidigtarin7100 2 роки тому +90

    The overall idea of "follow your dream" caused me so much anxiety, i dont have dreams so i thought it was essential for everyone to have at least one and work hard to achieve it

    • @vawnhumphrey-wilson2346
      @vawnhumphrey-wilson2346 2 роки тому +8

      Same man couldn’t agree more I feel like you have to have something your working towards otherwise what are you working towards ? I feel like everyone has something that they really want to accomplish in life but most just want to be happy I feel everyone has there own definition of happiness for some it’s achieving what they want most whatever that may be for there own status or fulfilment to say they achieved something great .

    • @thebuttersqiud8912
      @thebuttersqiud8912 2 роки тому +2

      I think you're just honest with yourself. There are other, more foundational needs to meet and fulfill before self-actualizing. Self-actualizing doesn't have to be some grandiose aspiration to achieve on a collective-scale. It could simply be to lead a happy, healthy life, have a family, and at the end, have no regrets. Your dream is your own. If you don't have one now, you will, and that's okay. It is good to have some kind of direction in life though. Aimless wandering isn't healthy either (not saying you suggested that). Just my thoughts.

    • @arunmoses2197
      @arunmoses2197 2 роки тому

      It's always fine to have a destination, but you can never live in a destination

  • @JK-cj3qe
    @JK-cj3qe 2 роки тому +733

    The only self improvement channel that tells things as it is.

    • @JK-cj3qe
      @JK-cj3qe 2 роки тому +1

      @@mateomarrero_4081 "why self improvement is a mistake " right?
      He covers every areas even if it contradicts his channels name 😁

    • @Skapo
      @Skapo 2 роки тому +2

      Nah, many channels "tell it like it is". I do appreciate his honesty and he's totally right! I've heard this same message many times over though. It's accurate, it's awesome that he is talking about this stuff and I think he is awesome for it, but he's nof the only one saying it.

    • @christix6648
      @christix6648 2 роки тому

      I guess he's telling those things because the era of this fancy concept of 'self-development' is over and everyone's had enough of it and understands it's BS

    • @Skapo
      @Skapo 2 роки тому +2

      @@christix6648 Know what's funny? Different things work for different people. Just because ome way is right doesn't by default mame the other way wrong. Also, people have different points in their journeys. Casey Neistat is a great example. He went hardcore tk the point where it was causing stress for his family, but he eventually backed down. If he hadn't focus so hard during the years that he did, he wouldn't have the same flexibility to live life as he does now.
      Everyone's journeys are different. Just saying it's not so black & white as people are making it here.

    • @9Nikko8
      @9Nikko8 2 роки тому

      I think Mark Manson does this too, his channel is worth a check

  • @Tsparkdriver
    @Tsparkdriver 2 роки тому +393

    Guess the message is: "Everything we need to be happy is already here."

    • @TheIllusionCulpritMC
      @TheIllusionCulpritMC 2 роки тому +12

      ROSÉ: "Everything I need is on the ground"

    • @ravi.jangra
      @ravi.jangra 2 роки тому +9

      @@TheIllusionCulpritMC Oxygen is in the Air.

    • @JayJayRealhiphop
      @JayJayRealhiphop 2 роки тому

      Yup

    • @MrUaliev
      @MrUaliev 2 роки тому +2

      What about the orphans growing up in war somewhere in Afghanistan? They also should be happy with what they have?

    • @butHomeisNowhere___
      @butHomeisNowhere___ 2 роки тому

      As a poor person, is there $50,000 sitting around somewhere? Cuz that shit would fix sooo many problems.

  • @vypesofficial
    @vypesofficial 2 роки тому +10

    The balance of this is something I have been struggling with for so long, and still do from time to time. Ever since I was a teen and started playing guitar I always fantasized about being in a famous band and making my mark on the music world. Years went by and I started to realize that this dream was not something easy to do. Don't get me wrong, I have been working so hard for it and putting many hours into it. I just thought that would be enough. I started beating myself up over the fact that I had not made it. I did this when I was 21, when I was 24, when I was 26 and right now I'm struggling again with this feeling of "not having made it". I have made progress, but it's so difficult to put this image of a successful life which I have had since my early teenage years aside. I do realize now that it is good to take a step back from time to time and see where you are, appreciate it, be happy with the here and now. Even though I am more able to do this than let's say 5 years ago I still struggle with the feeling of not having my dream life from time to time.
    Just wanted to put this feeling into words, since it helps dealing with it all. I wasn't expecting to find your video, but it has been very comforting hearing this through a stranger on the internet.

    • @TRESHONCURRY
      @TRESHONCURRY Рік тому

      I felt every word. Thanks for sharing with us. Best of luck in your journey.

    • @yanna6815
      @yanna6815 2 місяці тому

      I often wonder what it would be like if my dream didn't rely so heavily on external validation and beating the competition. What if I felt that fulfillment through crocheting rather than singing on a stage? How easy it would be to feel alive

  • @Ena-qy3ik
    @Ena-qy3ik 9 місяців тому +2

    I loved this! People get so stuck on the outcomes of things. ‘When I have this thing or do that thing I will be happy’. When I’m reality you won’t. I’m currently on my journey to my dream job but I’m not too focused on the outcome but I’m actually really enjoying the journey to achieving this dream job. I’m honestly really happy now even though I haven’t achieved what I have wanted yet and that’s ok. Because I know things take time. I also realised that I am currently living the dreams that my younger self had which has made me so happy. Humans have been given the ability to think in the future and the past which is a blessing but also a curse and we tend to be so caught up in the past or futures and are not even present right now. That’s what I’m trying to work on, to enjoy the present now and being happy with now. Not with my future that I have made up in my head. :)

  • @brett84c
    @brett84c 2 роки тому +147

    I finally learned in my early 30s that happiness exists where you are, it's a matter of changing your perspective on things. Jobs will change, the economy will ebb and flow, people will die, friends will move away, relationships will sometimes fall apart for things out of your control. Emotional independence is so crucial. I've seen so many people (myself included) that fall into the trap you speak of, that they can't really be happy or get life rolling until they find the perfect person, land that dream job, buy that new car... It never stops, so it's crucial to just learn to change the things you have control over and stop wasting time obsessing over the things you don't. Finally having that epiphany was incredibly liberating. Life's not perfect, but that's the point. Learn to accept life where you are, not how you want it to be, because us humans are incredibly good at pushing goalposts.

    • @brett84c
      @brett84c 2 роки тому +10

      I'm not playing this stupid game because I already know where you're trying to go with this as if someone aggressively oppressing you is something you just accept and take lying down. Stop being daft and disingenuous with trying to twist the underlying point I was trying to make.
      As far as being obese, you absolutely can eat less and try working out. Sorry if that triggers you but it's the truth. You can't put on calories you don't intake, and you can't retain calories you burn up via exercise.
      But keep playing the victim game though I get the sense you're one of those people that just loves being contrarian for the sake of being contrarian. It really is insufferable. Please stop for the sake of the people you interact with. It's exhausting for them and isn't healthy for yourself.

    • @shaquanwarren5985
      @shaquanwarren5985 2 роки тому

      @moonlapsevertigo 323 I wanna see where this goes

    • @silentmouse2136
      @silentmouse2136 2 роки тому

      @@brett84c that was a really good response to that logical fallacy

    • @brett84c
      @brett84c 2 роки тому +2

      Person I was responding to deleted their comment but for those confused, they basically asked "what do you say to sex traffic slaves, or people that are obese?". They worded it in a way you usually get from people that have a victim and accountability problem. Honestly, I genuinely hope that person can acknowledge their problem and fix it. I don't like being rude or angry, but some sometimes you can't mince words with those kinds of people. Anyways, no hate here. I want everyone to find happiness and conquer their demons.

    • @humanperson318
      @humanperson318 2 роки тому +1

      @@silentmouse2136 what was the comment they replied to? It’s gone now

  • @thegoldenhost
    @thegoldenhost 2 роки тому +110

    I kind of had this “come to Jesus” moment about this when I realized my dreams weren’t actually *my* dreams - they are what my family wanted for me and what I thought I wanted.
    Then I realized so much in life is so much more important to me - family, love, happiness in the now. I still have a dream - different now - and I’m going to work on that, but it doesn’t have to happen today or tomorrow for me to be happy. I can be happy now just enjoying the simple things while working toward my goals. This video filled in a lot of blanks for me!

  • @Pursuit_of_the_Truth
    @Pursuit_of_the_Truth 2 роки тому +23

    *”Life is a journey, not a destination”*
    I’ll put it on my whiteboard as a reminder

  • @chris.bussing
    @chris.bussing 2 роки тому +21

    I’ve definitely seen times in my life that I was so blinded by hopes and dreams that I neglected certain aspects of my life and overlooked certain risks and ultimately paid a pretty big price. I’ll always be a dreamer at heart, especially around my passions and career, but this perspective definitely resonated and is something I want to leverage to stay balanced. Thanks for the consistently thought provoking content!

  • @javojavojavojavo
    @javojavojavojavo 2 роки тому +13

    "I can't start dating people. This isn't the best version of me yet.." Hit home

  • @AntonioDal.
    @AntonioDal. 2 роки тому +172

    The goal of life is to witness life, not to chase a dream.

    • @epictubegamer
      @epictubegamer 2 роки тому +9

      Says you.

    • @wowix7546
      @wowix7546 2 роки тому +1

      Assuming there is a goal to life. Maybe life just is. And you can actually make it, not externally, but internally mean whatever you want it to mean. Shit happens, but you create the narrative.

    • @somegamer4071
      @somegamer4071 2 роки тому

      What, you amazo or something?

    • @lawrebueno5646
      @lawrebueno5646 2 роки тому +4

      We all have different opinions for me the purpose of life is to create a life I love.
      Then when I am able to do what I love life will be better for me. I'm not saying I need my dreams to be happy but man is life 30x better when you're doing what you love every single day.

    • @101elelky
      @101elelky 2 роки тому +3

      I like the concept but the goal of life is subjective from what one wants out of it.

  • @jnavasx
    @jnavasx 2 роки тому +18

    You really opened my eyes when you said "The experience of what it feels like to be me, doesn't change on what I do for a living"

  • @sawyerhartman
    @sawyerhartman 2 роки тому +238

    amen brother!! Couldn’t agree more, I as well “made it” and realized not one damn thing had changed except for a number on a screen

    • @hashh2019
      @hashh2019 2 роки тому +3

      Ha that is why I am mentally retired i guess. I guess even before living the dream, i knew it is all chasing after the wind. Life in itself doesnt have much meaning- a mirage, and the inconsiderate self-focused people in this era make it more miserable, so it is a constant struggle and hopes in something that is unreliable. Focusing on God helps and just being a kind helpful human and when possible following intellectual pursuits and knowledge (when i can carve time without having to fight with my fears of speaking up).

    • @user-qv4fp9vm8u
      @user-qv4fp9vm8u 2 роки тому +1

      And your bank account

    • @theacneclearchef2952
      @theacneclearchef2952 2 роки тому

      @@hashh2019 100%. I believe in Fate.

  • @lvn.mp4
    @lvn.mp4 Місяць тому +1

    Thank you for this video. Felt everything you said. I am indeed postponing my happiness, denying myself so many things because I'm not there yet. Made me cry, thank you.

  • @InterviewsmitallerWelt
    @InterviewsmitallerWelt 2 роки тому +3

    I have watched a ton of selfhelp videos and read even more selfhelp books, and only a few people break down the, what I think, essential values as well as you do. And the thing with the "Follow your dreams" really opened my eyes. Thank you so much for that!

  • @rustedcoin9341
    @rustedcoin9341 2 роки тому +89

    "I can't start dating people. This isn't the best version of me yet" This is literally me right now.

  • @KingShroomish
    @KingShroomish 2 роки тому +9

    “Yes, have hopes and dreams for the future, otherwise you are directionless. But do not forget to keep one foot grounded in the present moment.” Solid words.

  • @OGR-42
    @OGR-42 2 роки тому +22

    A friend of mine is currently in a miserable and depressive state. She had a rough teenhood and now she is lost and also stuck in a bad relationship, she complains that she doesn't know what she wants to do in the future. A few days ago I told her what you mentioned in this video right now, that one should fix him/herself, regardless of the time it will take, before considering pursuing something. And your video really made me happy because what you have said is what I told her a few days ago, but you brought up more details. Thanks a lot for your video, I really want to help and support her and your videos really help me to put my philosophical ideas together.

  • @jazzyparker12
    @jazzyparker12 2 роки тому +21

    I wasn’t expecting this at all. Your perspective really changed my mindset on what I’m currently going through. Thank you for this video.

    • @StrawberryLyricsWorld
      @StrawberryLyricsWorld 2 роки тому

      I disagree with this video, of course dreams are not the most important thing. This guy is basically saying that I would spend my entire life in my dreams, forgetting about my family, spiritual bla bla blah. And he is also spoiling on what it feels like after you reach your dreams. Of course people have different perspective of things. Some people are happier reaching their dreams, and some are not. If you reach your dreams and it’s not enough, then find more, find what really makes you happy. Of course don’t forget to spend time with your family, yourself, and spiritual health.
      If you didn’t read my comment, then don’t even dare to try replying to me.

    • @jazzyparker12
      @jazzyparker12 2 роки тому

      @@StrawberryLyricsWorld ok

    • @KyleGD
      @KyleGD 8 місяців тому

      ​@@jazzyparker12ok

  • @flightofthebumblebee9529
    @flightofthebumblebee9529 Рік тому +41

    This man is literally explaining why it's the journey not the destination. Yes, have goals and dreams, but never give up present day HEALTHY happiness for such things. (not fake happiness like drugs, social media addiction, porn, shopping, etc). I love this channel.

  • @greenpoprocket7965
    @greenpoprocket7965 2 роки тому +67

    Something I could do immediately: Put more work into my apartment. I rescued a coffee table that I need to refinish. I live very minimally even though I have a very good income. While I still don't need or want a lot of space, putting some direct effort into the space I have has been super healthy for my mental wellbeing. You don't always need to be in survivor mode.
    I think we're often taught to grind our way to our dreams, but that can result in working harder, not smarter. It took me until my mid thirties to realize that the trick is to live intentionally, but from a wholistic perspective. Achieving most things requires time and consistency, but that investment has to be directed correctly. Balancing your life properly frees up your mental baggage, allowing you to do exactly that.

  • @RealJamieBarclay
    @RealJamieBarclay 2 роки тому +176

    I think the deeper message here is whether or not you're focusing on your work, or focusing on having "made it".
    Studies do show that the happiest people are those who spend the most amount of time in flow state. This is easiest to do when doing something you love, and so if you make your passion your job, you'll be able to spend the most amount of time in flow state possible.
    However, what is arguably far more important, is your perspective during this process.
    If you're always waiting until you hit a certain goal to be happy, then you might find yourself waiting, forever.

    • @FutileGrief
      @FutileGrief 2 роки тому +4

      This.

    • @ranjithkumar-dm7pt
      @ranjithkumar-dm7pt 2 роки тому +5

      That's the summary.. you got it 💥💯. OP pin this comment📌. That's completely true.. the flow state is when mind is focused on one thing and time flows so fast that you lose track of time.. 1 hr feels like 10 mins.. In the opposite, if you don't like the things or it's too difficult for your current abilities/Skill level, 10 mins of work feels like 1 hr.. time drags.. so Doing activities in you flow state keeps your mind off of worries and happy..

    • @italico2792
      @italico2792 2 роки тому

      This reminds me of a book I've recently read. 'Ikigai'

    • @GoldenMushroom64
      @GoldenMushroom64 2 роки тому +1

      The nice thing about this is once you actually start doing what you need to do and make progress towards your dream or goals, you will experience positive emotion.

  • @denselbullard1484
    @denselbullard1484 2 роки тому +10

    When I was younger I asked my grandfather how to have a happy life and he told me that I just needed to do what I truly wanted to do at that time. He told me to focus on doing things that I enjoy everyday. This advice has helped me to learn what it is to be happy.

  • @thezonx354
    @thezonx354 2 роки тому +1

    I’ve been accomplishing a few different things that play a big role in achieving my life goal lately. I was working very hard, spending a lot of time working on it, and sometimes even denied my friends’ invite to a hangout. Eventually, the day came, I succeeded in my plans and I am currently moving towards my goals at a great pace. But when I look back I realize I wasn’t enjoying life and I’m not enjoying it right now either. To me everything seems like an obligation, a purposeful task that has to be done and it constantly reminds me to stay on track no matter what happens. It’s only recently that I’ve finally understood how toxic those feeling and thoughts are and finding this video really assured me that I need to change. This video talks about a rare topic and rare aspect of depressive thoughts, which is why I’m very thankful that you made it. I hope you read this and continue making great videos 👍🏻

  • @lyesyaici497
    @lyesyaici497 2 роки тому +5

    Loved this video. I heard someone said : Walk besides your dreams. Not for them. There’s so much more things that are more important than reaching that goal. It’s important to have goals too but let’s not just live for them. Inner peace is the most important thing to reach.

  • @TheRav3n
    @TheRav3n 2 роки тому +160

    This here is why I fell back on making beats… I didn’t like the process. I loved creating. I loved putting thought and flow to instrument… or DAW for my producer heads…. But I always put so much thought into what it would be like to put these beats out and sell them that I stopped having fun… I loved a fantasy that I wasn’t ready for mentally or emotionally. I’m in the gym now and it feels amazing to pick things up and put them down and I don’t have to think…. Sorry for the long post but I’m new to your vids and this one resinated with me

    • @phx-b
      @phx-b 2 роки тому +1

      Facts bro. Happy for you. Keep going!

    • @TheRav3n
      @TheRav3n 2 роки тому +1

      @@phx-b I appreciate that! Thank you!

    • @TheRav3n
      @TheRav3n 2 роки тому

      @3ViL D3AD maybe one day I’ll go back

    • @thebuttersqiud8912
      @thebuttersqiud8912 2 роки тому +10

      @@TheRav3n The music industry and a lot of other industries involving art on pretty much every level seem to be rampant with a corrupted intention of using talent and creativity to gain popularity and esteem. Creating with the intention of self-exploration and discovery is pure I think. If you want to release your art afterwards just to share your creation with others, there is nothing wrong with that either. I think the creations that come out of that energy end up more genuine and real. It's something you can be wholeheartedly proud of even if it doesn't get all the attention of the world. Who cares about the thoughts of strangers you know nothing of compared to what your children might think of your art one day, and by extension, you? Plenty of world-famous artists have sacrificed meaningful relationships for the pursuit of esteem granted by basically numbers. That doesn't bode well for your emotional well-being I think. Use creativity to sort yourself out through art if you decide to, and bring a little piece of heaven to this world. That's just my opinion though. I'm sure there are many other factors involved. I'm speaking a more general-sense.

    • @TheRav3n
      @TheRav3n 2 роки тому +3

      @@thebuttersqiud8912 I appreciate this response. About 2 years ago though, I wasn’t in that place to accept it as something I was just having fun with… I got into fitness to find something that sticks, then I actually fell in love with the process… the discipline of fitness will help me accept that making music is beautiful even if like you said, you don’t get notoriety for it

  • @zytralus
    @zytralus 2 роки тому +27

    You have expressed the exact thing I discovered recently. Throughout my childhood and teenage years I've always been fat and really asocial. Since a few years I've started working on losing some weight, however I've been focused on it and basically hating myself because I was overweight and very few friends, never had a relationship etc. Like I thought that I had to change before being worthy of other people. I'm still not there yet, I'm trying to improve the relation with myself but I have realized that I have missed on so many occasions and just prevented myself from being happy because I still had work to do. Especially on the internet I think there is this "toxic positivity" or "toxic improvement" that is easy to fall into and you just were able to words on my thoughts and feelings so thank you.

  • @flightattendantliz
    @flightattendantliz 2 роки тому +5

    I definitely needed this video a year ago! Started living in the presence recently and so much changed. Just as you said life is a journey. Loved this! Thank you

  • @EnglishOmnia
    @EnglishOmnia 9 місяців тому

    Thank you so much! Your video caught my eyes once I searched for the term "people living my dreams" and it really helped me realize things about myself and it's really gonna change the way I think. Thank you so much for this great video!

  • @DanielTitchener
    @DanielTitchener 2 роки тому +121

    I feel you! You're way ahead of me, but I think as UA-camrs we're all on this hamster wheel of maintenance and improvement and I'm realising that living life to the fullest often just requires slowing down. There's an infinite number of superior imagined alternatives for my future, but my desire for improvement only highlights my dissatisfaction for the present - a cycle of diminishing returns that never stops unless I choose to let it. Great video, Joey.

  • @jensentung
    @jensentung 2 роки тому +410

    "Process is an end in itself."
    - Sadhguru

    • @GunnerRDS
      @GunnerRDS 2 роки тому +18

      He is a cult leader

    • @lumirprejda5195
      @lumirprejda5195 2 роки тому +5

      I stil don't know what to think about this guy. He sounds smart and all but i haven't really heard anything that would be a really good advice. Besides he Saíd that He Is Always stoned So that doesn't really help him.

    • @user-ib9eb7yb3b
      @user-ib9eb7yb3b 2 роки тому +11

      He is a con artist, and a bad person

    • @asbestoz1123
      @asbestoz1123 2 роки тому +7

      @@user-ib9eb7yb3b still a good quote

    • @humanfirst11
      @humanfirst11 2 роки тому +3

      @@user-ib9eb7yb3b prove it.

  • @ahuman9031
    @ahuman9031 2 роки тому +81

    Rather than focusing on the destination, we should enjoy the journey. Because that's what matters.
    We are more than our goals and designation.

    • @bastbast6464
      @bastbast6464 2 роки тому +1

      What if you are in your 30s, single, workin for a min wage and 0 social life cause all friends works a lot too? Thats where having a dream can keep you alive and optimist

    • @mirceatim3274
      @mirceatim3274 2 роки тому

      @@bastbast6464 search also other friend! and partner> This should be it. Aply for other jobs, if something shows up go for it. If not, continue to be happy. Like watching great discussions on youtube.

  • @yy5907
    @yy5907 11 місяців тому +1

    Thank you for your message. I needed it today. Most importantly, I realised that people who have chased their dreams can understand what this video talks about, and I do as well. Lots of respect for everyone who works hard and appreciates their life.

  • @heyitsemlynn
    @heyitsemlynn 2 роки тому

    “Life is a journey, not a destination.” True words, Radiant.

  • @Nathanate84
    @Nathanate84 2 роки тому +6

    It's a form of addiction. This ONE THING will deliver me all the happiness I don't have now.

  • @esraaabd-allah1626
    @esraaabd-allah1626 2 роки тому +43

    "You're delegating responsibility to some hypothetical, you're letting go of the reins of your life and the responsibility of forging your own happiness in life as it is, you're relinquishing control...you can be hamster wheeling yourself like that right into your grave" Thank you!!!

  • @0verPar
    @0verPar 2 роки тому +13

    Following my dreams and 'purpose' set me back years. I ended up ditching them and created a vision that wasn't a 'dream' but a high status job I could realistically achieve with hard work and determination that I knew wouldn't suck. I know work that job and love it.

    • @StrawberryLyricsWorld
      @StrawberryLyricsWorld 2 роки тому

      You shouldn’t think of what will happen if you reach your dreams, it’s demotivating, specially if that didn’t happen. And dreams aren’t you’re entire purpose, unlike this man in the video is saying.
      Of course you’re not gonna spend every single second on your dream, that you forget about God and your family.

    • @StrawberryLyricsWorld
      @StrawberryLyricsWorld 2 роки тому

      People need to love their jobs more, so they can be happy, just like what you did

    • @StrawberryLyricsWorld
      @StrawberryLyricsWorld 2 роки тому

      I’m kinda scared of not reaching my dreams, do you know any tips?

    • @theacneclearchef2952
      @theacneclearchef2952 2 роки тому

      @@StrawberryLyricsWorld Love yourself.

  • @geniusandabsent-minded1390
    @geniusandabsent-minded1390 Рік тому

    Thank you so much. You are one of the few people I actually hear with my whole heart. You have an immense power of speaking and making things clear

  • @williamramos3350
    @williamramos3350 Рік тому

    This has truly been the best advice I have received and actually absorbed in the years I have been viewing UA-cam. This is truly powerful. Thank you.

  • @champloo2500
    @champloo2500 2 роки тому +6

    This is one of the realest self improvement channels out here. The things talked about here are so much more raw and honest.
    This one hits harder too. I think it’s something in the way that it’s not edited… really changes the overall tone.
    Great video as always! Definitely one of your best yet.

  • @Zhorez1321
    @Zhorez1321 2 роки тому +4

    Thank you so much!
    People really need to speak about this more.
    Everybody just brags so much about living a dream that it genuinely feels like you're a piece of waste if you don't.

  • @keepgoing6051
    @keepgoing6051 2 роки тому +12

    The issue I have with being happy with who you are is: How do I prevent myself from becoming narcissistic? What if I keep telling myself I'm really great without reality matching up to the things I keep telling myself?

    • @kimiisun0
      @kimiisun0 2 роки тому +4

      Being narcissistic is reserved for those who are incapable of being open-minded, people who refuse to believe they have flaws and never work on their weaknesses. You ARE really great!! You're strong and capable of anything. Believe in yourself. Sometimes you'll mess up, but recognize that you do have things you must work on and that way you won't become narcissistic. But usually people who are narcissistic have never worried that they will become narcissistic. You're on the other end of the spectrum, so don't worry and recognize that it's just an excuse. Give yourself the most love you can, that's my advice. Be open-minded, have a foot grounded in reality and be kind to yourself.

  • @Encise
    @Encise 2 роки тому +189

    Your videos are always so relatable for some reason

    • @jishnuravindra
      @jishnuravindra 2 роки тому +1

      for multiple reasons*

    • @StrawberryLyricsWorld
      @StrawberryLyricsWorld 2 роки тому +1

      I disagree with this video, of course dreams are not the most important thing. This guy is basically saying that I would spend my entire life in my dreams, forgetting about my family, spiritual bla bla blah. And he is also spoiling on what it feels like after you reach your dreams. Of course people have different perspective of things. Some people are happier reaching their dreams, and some are not. If you reach your dreams and it’s not enough, then find more, find what really makes you happy. Of course don’t forget to spend time with your family, yourself, and spiritual health.
      If you didn’t read my comment, then don’t even dare to try replying to me.

  • @FictionHubZA
    @FictionHubZA 2 роки тому

    Thank you. I'm working on being more proactive and not beating myself down with self doubt.

  • @somedudeinatunnel3102
    @somedudeinatunnel3102 2 роки тому +8

    It's incredibly refreshing to hear a UA-camr say that they're the exact same person as they were before they 'made it'. You're not egotistical, you just put out quality content. Good on you.

  • @EtwasMartin
    @EtwasMartin 2 роки тому +41

    I am totally with you. "Follow your dreams to become happy" only puts focus on what is missing. If you make your happiness depending on what you NOT have, you can't really see what you already got and what might be able to make you happy. You might not work in your dream job but maybe you've got awesome friends and a hobby that fullfills you. You might not live in your dream house but maybe you got the best dog ever and travel a lot.
    Find happiness in what you have to generate the energy you need to achieve what might add to that.

    • @vawnhumphrey-wilson2346
      @vawnhumphrey-wilson2346 2 роки тому

      I agree on that statement but also I feel like even when achieving the dream you may not feel happy as most that are fulfilled and achieved there dream aren’t that happy as they focused all there time in achieving a dream and working towards it that they didn’t carry there friends etcc with them to enjoy it hence why most people may feel alone and could look back at the times when chasing dream could’ve be on the backseat for a while and enjoy family friends a bit more

    • @beaconing7689
      @beaconing7689 2 роки тому

      Basically "be grateful" 🙂

  • @user-jn3zm4lz6k
    @user-jn3zm4lz6k 2 роки тому +12

    Finally someone is taking about it. I've always wanted someone to agree with me on this topic. From an experience, that's totally right. Thank you so much for making this video.

  • @slayer4810
    @slayer4810 27 днів тому

    This is absolutely true, after getting a fairly good used car a few months in I was already thinking about getting a brand new one from a dealership. So it just wasn’t enough. Now you scale this same principle to other facets of life & you pretty just summarized this video.
    Thoughts like this ruin your life and could make you feel like you’ll never be enough.

  • @Madtigerlilly17
    @Madtigerlilly17 2 роки тому

    Running constantly. When I run I feel so much better, I have more energy, and it encourages me to work on other areas of my life like my relationships, my religion, and my hobbies.

  • @Rastalavistaa
    @Rastalavistaa 2 роки тому +7

    I totally agree.
    I think the true key to succes is keeping a balance between everything.

  • @DestructorEFX
    @DestructorEFX 2 роки тому +165

    I thought to much about my future and forgot about the present. I ended up hurting the most amazing woman that I know...

    • @Bhstickman
      @Bhstickman 2 роки тому +13

      you aren't alone

    • @nombreapellido8437
      @nombreapellido8437 2 роки тому

      Join the club :(

    • @hashh2019
      @hashh2019 2 роки тому

      On the recieving end here- burnt my self-esteem seeming unworthy and unimportant and the lowest priority. I just wish that realization dawns on him atleast someday but i wish him no pain- he is gone pursuing a life he wants to live.

    • @albertokoopman2818
      @albertokoopman2818 2 роки тому

      Everything comes at a cost

    • @anti-simppill9490
      @anti-simppill9490 2 роки тому

      FUN FACT: YOU'RE GETTING BRAIN WASHED ☠️

  • @stephen-finance
    @stephen-finance 2 роки тому +12

    I love how real this video is Joey! It hits hard!
    I've been learning this lesson for the past year or so now, but I need to keep working on it. It's so easy to get wrapped up in goals that I forget to enjoy anything, and can easily feel like I'm not good enough to find joy yet anyway. I find that I put off so many things in life that really enrich and fulfill me because of this constant improvement mindset.
    I've been finding that while goals are needed, life is about balance and moderation in just about everything, and that I'll never be "good enough" because there is no such thing, so I need to just embrace life and run with it.
    This is a very needed video, especially in the personal development space!

  • @LilaicMusicOfficial
    @LilaicMusicOfficial Рік тому +1

    i LOVE this and i needed to hear it. i think it also needs to be said that it can be so OVERWHELMING to even feel the need to have big dreams and goals. i am 27 and i don't even know what my passions are let alone big dreams, my interests change like the wind, every few minutes, and every college course i've done (i'm on course 5 now 🤣) i've said ‘This is the one. THIS is my dream. THIS is going to be my life. THIS is what i love!' and everything is all rainbows and sparkles and engaging and interesting for about a month or two and then the rainbows vanish, the sparkle dulls and eventually disappears and my ‘‘dream' is just something i got bored, fed up with or lost interest in. Then I would just think to myself ‘Well, it's obviously not meant for me, something else will be that thing i am looking for, that dream, that purpose, that fire in me, i will find it out there somewhere, there HAS to be something for me, there IS something.' and so then, i would do a new college course the next year, and the same thing feelings and thoughts would begin, ‘THIS is it. THIS IS THE ONE. I really feel like this is my passion. This is going to be my career. This is my dream, like my REAL dream!!'' and then i would start to lose interest in that too and the dream would die. And what i've realized is; they were never dreams, they were never even passions, they were just MOMENTARY interests that i liked the sound of on a whim, and it was nice learning for a little while until my mind started to wander and i wanted to learn something entirely else. i'm only just learning now in January 2023 that, not everything has to lead somewhere, not everything has to be one big magical life dream and goal to fight for, some things are just meant to be softly enjoyed for a small while, put to bed and then see what else the world has in store next.
    We get so caught up in the idea of Life Dreams and chasing them and trying to hard to figure ourselves out and what fuels our fire and ignites our passion, but it's like, EXHAUSTING trying to find all that out or feel the pressure to even HAVE any of those things to begin with, it feels far too deep and trying to find dreams and chase this and that starts to just feel like anchors. Like it doesn't have to be that deep or serious. I certainly don't want it to be.
    And I'm experiencing the same thing with a course I'm studying just now, i don't feel like it's my passion, or my big dream, and i am not even sure if i want a fully fledged career out of it, i'm not sure i even want any of those things to happen, but i do like it, it's holding my interest enough and i'm having fun, and i think what i've just realized this second is, that's all things are sometimes, they don't have to be serious dreams, it's okay to just learn, keep everything light and fluffy and have fun! 💜✨

  • @sensecarter2516
    @sensecarter2516 2 роки тому +4

    Time management and procrastination. I too want to inspire others to be the best versions of themselves, but my fear of failure and other foundational factors have impeded my progress. These videos act as the real-time archetype examples to aid me in pushing forward. Keep up the good work!

  • @DeadPointDelusions
    @DeadPointDelusions 2 роки тому +20

    Dude you’re a legend I woke up this morning feeling like crap and it’s like the universe new I could use this video.

  • @gerardford9706
    @gerardford9706 2 роки тому +48

    I used to be obsessed with this girl when i was 18. Madly in love with her. Planned on living my life with her. We had a lot of bumps but after 5 years i finally managed to be with her . But what happened was i realized that i was the same, for years i would think to myself that "if i can have her, everything would be fine and dandy in my life". Things were good for a few days, after that i reverted back to being malcontent. The goals we set in life are like temporary fixes and distractions from whats aching us deep down

    • @theacneclearchef2952
      @theacneclearchef2952 2 роки тому +1

      facts! 100% :O !!!

    • @Phoenix.Sparkles
      @Phoenix.Sparkles 2 роки тому +2

      I dont think you should compare obsession over another human being with living out your passion

    • @scro0213
      @scro0213 Рік тому +2

      So a simp basically?

    • @RedLP5000S
      @RedLP5000S Рік тому +1

      My core issue is death.

  • @cactimungus9628
    @cactimungus9628 2 роки тому +8

    I'm only a junior in high school. The past few weeks were HELL for me and only recently did my girlfriend and dad break me out of it. I held myself at obnoxiously high expectations for the school year and overworked myself assuming I'd end up being an incredibly new and improved student. I followed pomodoro streams and nearly idolized those streamers that studied for 10 hours a day. It was all to "follow my dreams" but I never even gave myself time to enjoy myself, maybe play a game, or get the hell away from my desk for once and go out with my friends. I skipped school twice because I kept feeling unprepared for tests no matter how many hours I put into studying. I'd study until 2 AM, wake up at 5 AM, and just decide to not go to school. I was in a dark and toxic place and I didn't realize that I was dumping my youth away assuming that the price I was paying was worth it for this glamorous dream job I'd have in the future where I could finally enjoy myself. Because as they all say, "Hard work pays off."
    MASSIVE thanks to my girlfriend and dad, as they pulled me out of it before I nearly reached my breaking point. I stopped studying relentlessly, hell I studied for like 45 minutes the night before an English test and surprise, surprise... it was not as bad as I anticipated. I stopped following pomodoro streamers and let myself manage my own study habits and time instead of letting a streamer do it for me. I'd indulge in a well-needed break of videogames, time with my girlfriend or friends and family. I no longer look only towards the future and overwork myself out of dread. I find happiness in my day to day life and appreciate that every time I wake up, I get to enjoy another day in my life.

  • @Richard-hx6mi
    @Richard-hx6mi 9 місяців тому

    This is so useful and I truly resonate with your perspective! Especially your view on taking the cliche advice. It's all true but every situation has its own unique quirks.

  • @jinryushin684
    @jinryushin684 8 місяців тому

    This video gives me comfort in so many ways❤️

  • @georgek14
    @georgek14 2 роки тому +6

    I know I would be a lot happier from day to day if I stopped putting so much pressure on myself to constantly be busy and get things done all of the time. Juggling a job, a relationship, enough exercise and the hobbies I love doing can feel so overwhelming and causes me a lot of secondary frustration which I often take out on myself. I miss the days where I could just float through each day, maybe focusing on 3 main things and just enjoying the rest of my time. Great video once again!

  • @CrypticMoon12
    @CrypticMoon12 2 роки тому +15

    “Everyone wants you to forget you’re gonna die. Cause if they convince you you’re not gonna die you waste your time doing what they want you to do”, “And one day I’m gonna die. But before then I’m gonna live live live the way I want to live, and I hope you do too.”
    This quote from Mike Posner’s live performance of Pill In Ibiza felt pretty relevant to me. Never forget that every day is a gift and that it could be your last. If you waste your time always concerned about the destination, you’ll reach it and realize you missed out on the entire journey. It’s something I think we all have to remind ourselves of at some point or another.

  • @orangeepants
    @orangeepants 2 роки тому +5

    What you’re talking about is really similar to what a therapist of mine has been telling me to look into lately- it’s something along the lines of “radical acceptance and commitment”. Good stuff

  • @tvsontheradio
    @tvsontheradio 2 роки тому +1

    sleeping habits and my room - i’m immediately able to fix when i go to sleep/when i wake up and keep my room clean

  • @aSourGummyWorm
    @aSourGummyWorm 2 роки тому

    This video is pretty much giving one of the same messages that the power of now book does. Im still working towards breaking the mentality of waiting for the “better” version of myself or my life

  • @Mrs_Guac_and_Glock
    @Mrs_Guac_and_Glock 2 роки тому +10

    I love this! I'm a stay at home homeschooling mom. This certainly wasn't my ~dream.~ It can be a very lonely life, so I've HAD to become at peace with myself so that I didn't go insane lol. And I'm super happy with who I've become and what I've overcome. I have loads more work to do and room to grow, but I am growing and that's a beautiful thing.

    • @em945
      @em945 2 роки тому +3

      I am not a mum, but I am sure you are helping some beautiful children into the world 😊

    • @Mrs_Guac_and_Glock
      @Mrs_Guac_and_Glock 2 роки тому +1

      @@em945 Thank you, that is very kind of you ❤️

    • @EpicFamilyQuests
      @EpicFamilyQuests 2 роки тому +1

      I'm a stay at home, homeschooling mom too. My kids are what really keep me going. Of course some days aren't easy 😄

  • @therealfantasy
    @therealfantasy 2 роки тому +10

    This guy never fails on helping us. Thank you

  • @sindhusekar1
    @sindhusekar1 2 роки тому +13

    Bottom line: live in the moment and stay grounded even while dreaming of taking flight and soaring high. Great message 👍.

  • @Purpleaggie05
    @Purpleaggie05 2 роки тому

    This is so true. Find happiness where you are now. The present moment is all we have.

  • @tracypattin3746
    @tracypattin3746 6 місяців тому

    EXCELLENT! The one thing I deal with is comparing myself to others. It's a dream killer.

  • @ryanmcn1
    @ryanmcn1 2 роки тому +7

    The part of about bringing your "Resentful" self over to your new dream job is so poignant, we often forget that there is no external validation that can make us feel at home in our own life. Great message...thank you.

  • @schenkstroop1877
    @schenkstroop1877 2 роки тому +4

    take a walk every day is such a good one

  • @theelectronomer2319
    @theelectronomer2319 2 роки тому +141

    The sad part about all of this is that we spend so much time trying to *make* a living that we miss out on everything else in the process.
    I mean, we go to school for 13 years and 4-7 years for university all so we can get a job that is above mediocrity. Do we truly enjoy those years? Or are those years just a way of rushing through just so that the *later* years could be better?
    What if the average human life expectancy was even shorter than what people claim it is now? Would we have all that time to chase after our ambitions to improve the current state that we think isn't that great?
    Life isn't necessarily about making a single chapter the best. It's about making every single chapter worthwhile to read.

    • @noamflorin4554
      @noamflorin4554 2 роки тому +3

      That last paragraphe!

    • @naughti_penguin2340
      @naughti_penguin2340 2 роки тому +4

      I've been feeling that second paragraph hard. I'm a freshman studying engineering, and I like math and especially physics, but I can't shake the feeling that I'm pushing myself hard through four hard years for a safety cushion.

    • @theelectronomer2319
      @theelectronomer2319 2 роки тому +1

      @@naughti_penguin2340 Shoot... I feel you. I sometimes like to ask myself what I would do if I had... "time". So many of the things I had to quit doing in order to leave room for the more important stuff (that is, especially right now, school). I always wonder if it's possible, though. I want to do as much as I can in this day and age, but this thing we call "time" seems to prevent it. I know I can't just leave this until later on, because I know that I will "regret it". Hits hard...

    • @ctb1977
      @ctb1977 2 роки тому

      @@naughti_penguin2340 You're in a great position, at university studying engineering, 99% of the world will envy your position so stop complaining. I've already finished university and studying isn't really that hard.
      I studied Finance and I have a real passion for it, I would look forward to every class and I didn't study for some end goal or extrinsic reward, I studied Finance because I like it. In fact during my time at university I also took coding bootcamps along with my course simply for the joy of learning and using coding to enhance my Finance research capabilities.
      If you don't feel this way about engineering then I think you're studying the wrong subject. Being in full-time education is a privalige, education is self improvement, and as a student you can work full-time on self improvement. It's a case of first world problems if you are complaining

    • @rtlau-mk4di
      @rtlau-mk4di 2 роки тому +1

      @@ctb1977 "studying isn't really that hard" - engineering is really quite hard. 50% of people drop out for a reason.

  • @egodumpster
    @egodumpster 2 роки тому

    Needed this. For the past week or so I randomly got this nes dream. A dream where I'm going to work once I reach the age of 16, not spend my money, go to college, and somehow end up living in a beautiful apartment in New York. This is my dream. And I'm honestly so close to following it. I'm only fourteen years old, but I am tired of living in this place. But I'm realizing that maybe this dream of mine won't go to plan, and once I reach that point of no return, I won't feel that fulfillment that I've always wanted. It's a terrifying thought. I'm anxious. I'm struggling. I'm feeling so hopeless. But this dream of mine is the only thing keeping me going. I'm living in hope that maybe someday I'll be happy. This is my mindset right now. Maybe I have to start stepping up and helping the issues in my life. Maybe I have to think more deeply about it (Trust me, I am). Maybe I have to start living my life the way I want my future to be. That might not be living in New York or having an amazing job, but what if it's the happiness I want in the future? What if I start trying to feel content and happy with where I am now? Will it change the way I look at the future? Will it help? Probably. Thank you for this video.

  • @Bass108thatsmyfate
    @Bass108thatsmyfate 2 місяці тому

    I just wanted to let you know that I needed this video right now. I have always loved music so I decided to start a band! for fun of course, but still take it seriously. I lost my friends because of it. They became negative about every success I've had, even getting my first career. I was in no way bragging or one upping, they would ask me how my life has been lately and respond negatively while I would answer positively. While I am completely new to music, I still find a satisfaction with it. I just keep wondering if I made a mistake. However, it turns out, I have been blinded throughout our entire friendship. They are narcissists, so I left and am continuing my career and band. I just feel confused at the moment. I just keep on trying to be happy and remind myself that I am not alone. For I have a family that loves me, and accepts me for who I am.

  • @GloriaGladene
    @GloriaGladene 2 роки тому +5

    I LOVE this! This is how I grew to be in contentment for most of my days. In addition to this, as a Christian my faith and growing in that has changed everything for me 💜 thank you for sharing I am definitely sending this directly to some family members and friends 💙

    • @StrawberryLyricsWorld
      @StrawberryLyricsWorld 2 роки тому

      I disagree with this video, of course dreams are not the most important thing. This guy is basically saying that I would spend my entire life in my dreams, forgetting about my family, spiritual bla bla blah. And he is also spoiling on what it feels like after you reach your dreams. Of course people have different perspective of things. Some people are happier reaching their dreams, and some are not. If you reach your dreams and it’s not enough, then find more, find what really makes you happy. Of course don’t forget to spend time with your family, yourself, and spiritual health.

  • @mimielubek2534
    @mimielubek2534 2 роки тому +58

    Am I the only person that cried while watching this? This made me come to terms with my depression. Now I'm critically evaluating all my life choices in regards to the type of career I'd like to pursue.
    Right now I'm not entirely sure of what I'd like to do and I need to accept the fact that that's ok. What's not ok is doing nothing while trying to figure it out. Thank for making this video. It was an eye opener❤.

    • @Ad1nfernum
      @Ad1nfernum 2 роки тому +5

      I don't know if it helps at all, but the majority of people don't really like their job in any event. My husband doesn't like his job a lot of the time, but he's reframed it as something he does to buy the time and provide the resources to do the things he really wants to do. For him, that passion has always been music. For me, it's running and spending time in nature (I took up birdwatching during the pandemic and now I'm a real nerd about duck species).
      And the fact is that most people change not just jobs but careers at least once in their life. It doesn't have to be set in stone and it shouldn't define who you are. Best of luck to you. ❤️

    • @mimielubek2534
      @mimielubek2534 2 роки тому

      @@Ad1nfernum ❤❤

    • @jinryushin684
      @jinryushin684 8 місяців тому

      I'm going through things the same as you.Big hugs.

  • @DoctorMotorcycle
    @DoctorMotorcycle 2 роки тому +5

    Me at 100 subscribers "I just want 1000 maaannn, that would be soooo coool maaaann, making money from urr passionnn".
    1000 Subscribers, same deal, just want 10k now
    10k, same deal, just want 100k now
    100k, now want 1M
    On my way to 1 Million right now, I expect it to take 3-5 years. The difference is I'm no longer diluding myself into thinking "I'll be happy when" because I won't. It's in our nature to never be satisfied, that's why rich people want to be richer and your subscriber count is always weaksauce in your mind. Solid video Joey. I like the casual talking to the camera style video.

  • @heyyyitshewan4816
    @heyyyitshewan4816 2 роки тому

    one thing I can immediately do is spend less time on social media. your video about dopamine has already helped me with this

  • @DeveshKhare89
    @DeveshKhare89 2 роки тому +1

    Can't emphasise how much I needed to hear this!