Signs of Emotional Maturity - Know Who's Worth Your Time & Who Isn't!
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- Опубліковано 30 вер 2024
- Emotional maturity is the NUMBER 1 predictor for success in any relationship. Being able to assess whether or not other people are emotionally mature, will save you A LOT of headache and heartache! No more investing in the wrong people, wasting your time, or beating your head against the wall!
00:58 Humility
02:11 Self-Awareness
03:36 Empathy
04:21 Self-Regulation
05:27 Accountability
06:36 Reliability
07:36 Flexibility
08:32 Humor
Hello!
My name is TyaCamellia (Tya) Stone, LMFT -- Licensed therapist in the states of California & Nevada (CA 112207 & NV 2779-R).
Welcome to Tips From a Therapist! I post videos to offer tips and tricks to improve your relationship with yourself, and other people. Be sure to subscribe to this channel for more Tips From a Therapist!
*Website:
www.rootsrelat...
**To see my full series of Blogs for Better Relationships, visit:
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***This video is not intended as individualized professional or legal advice. Be sure to seek the services of a professional if you are in need of them.
1. Humility - collaborative not defensive
2. Self - awareness - what we are feeling and how we reflect. Not overly critical. Not blaming others
3. Empathy - social awareness, validate and respond to others
4. Self-regulation - manage stress in the moment, and not overindulge in your emotions
5. Accountability - advocate for our needs, accept our duty to address, team effort. Articulate your emotions
6. Reliability - trustworthy and predictable in a positive way.
7. Flexibility - come up with creative solutions to problems and can deal with what is.
8. Humor - life isn’t too serious, room for play, not too sensitive.
Thank you for summarizing and helping others digest the material!
Sometimes it's hard to spot; my ex was a good talker and persuaded me that he's all the good qualities you listed, but at the end, it's all fake. It damaged me to the core. Only time can tell the truth.
Same. Now my focus is on behavior and actions. Don’t care what they say cause I’m apparently so gullible 😮
So true! There will always be liars and manipulators in the world, and others can put on a good performance in the beginning. Going slow and watching carefully is the way!
I’m sure an emotional mature person would never talk about himself stating threse qualities.
Absolutely! They would demonstrate with their actions.
@kistelwalton3141 Yes, focusing on behavior! And it sounds like you're a less gullible than you used to be😊
Such things come up later in relationship, at first people show their best side. So there is no way not to waste the time and emotions.
So true! There will always be liars and manipulators in the world, and others can put on a good performance in the beginning. Going slow, not attaching too soon, and watching carefully is the way! Hopefully this video helps people know what to look out for! Thank you for watching!
Very helpful :-) I used to date older women hoping they had the emotional maturity I seek. Holy smoke was I wrong. Apparently personality attributes such as emotional maturity does not improve beyond about age 30. People can learn to work with what they have after that, if they want, but the fundamentals are locked in at that point. You are correct, if someone has zero self awareness, then there is no hope of them changing. Move on.
I'm so glad you found it helpful! Thank you for watching!
The clips add some lightness and entertainment value for me. Would be even better if some clips were quick examples of great emotional responses; such as demonstrating humility or self regulation. 😊
Great idea! I appreciate your feedback!😊
Very helpful, concise video. The hard part with some avoidant and emotionally immature people us they can put on a good front at the beginning of a relationship. They seem secure... the WHAM... everything you thought was real comes crashing down. How can we tease this out early?
So true! There will always be liars and manipulators in the world, and others can put on a good performance in the beginning. Going slow, not attaching too early and watching carefully is the way!
Wow, I’m not perfect but this helped me see my ex had a lot more maturing to do. The greatest gift she gave me was divorce papers. Thank you!
I'm so glad you found it helpful, and I wish you well on your journey forward!
Very good thanks, but the last one is unclear to me. Because emotionally immature people can just have a good sense of humor and a good sense of humor is not built upon those blocks before in my opinion. And I would also be careful with the term "too sensitive". It needs a lot of nuances. Emotionally immature people can be too sensitive in a certain way and indeed not safe to play with. But "too"(?) sensitive people are not necessarily immature people. Nor they are unsafe. It depends. For instance on their awareness about their sensitivity and how they use it and go about it.
And when is it sensitive or too sensitive? An artist or a therapist couldn't do without this quality. This is a difficult category.
Yes, I see what you mean. People can absolutely have humor without the other signs of maturity. I added humor as the final piece because I notice a pattern in the therapy realm where emotional maturity is only about identifying "safe" people to have relationships with -- Safety is a minimum! To have a great relationship, they need play as well! The other building blocks create a firm foundation where play can thrive.
And yes, I believe sensitivity can be a superpower! The world absolutely needs sensitive people! To me, the threshold for “too sensitive” is when people can’t tell when someone is playing in an appropriate way; like their default perception is overly skewed towards the negative.
I liked the message you're giving, but all the little screenclips were pretty distracting and disruptive to my thought process. Not sure if others feel the same way, but personally I'd prefer your videos without screaming and weird voices coming out of no where.
Thank you for the perspective! I learned how to add clips thinking it would make the info more entertaining. Once I figure out how to do a poll, I'll see if this is a common experience and adapt accordingly.
@@tipsfromatherapistI second the opinion that the clips are unnecessary and distracting. I'm certain that, just like music and changing the zoom, all those things are supposed to make content more professional or appealing, I guess it depends on the audience you want.
Yes, I am still learning the audience I'm most helpful to!
"Emotionally immature people are reckless with their emotions." 💯 Words and actions too. 🎯 Such an insightful video. Loved the clips. 👍🏾😊
@enojelmeli Thank you for your kind words and for watching!😊
How to become less emotionally mature? I want to date much younger.
We appreciate humor on this channel 😊
But I guess people with CPTSD will have difficulty to maintain these things, and although they may have the will to change themselves there can be hugh obstacles on their way.
Yeah, trauma (especially complex) can really derail our emotional growth. All the healing and self-awareness in the world, and a trigger can pull us right back into it.
What does C-PTSD have to do with what she said? She's describing immature people (who lean towards narcissism). People with C-PTSD are very aware, conscience, caring although yes putting up boundaries is more difficult due to the negative responses we usually encounter from the type she's describing. I think you generally don't understand C-PTSD or have the wrong diagnosis.
Absolutely! The journey can be harder for some than others, though the ultimate destination is the same! And what a worthwhile pursuit!
@@zenawarrior7442 Not only CPTSD, every mental disorder or issues have something to do with having a mature state. And also, it is not right to tell unknown people (without knowing them) that they don't understand the topic or they have wrong diagnosis. These things can hurt people.
This was a very simple and concise video on how to human lol
I'm so glad you found it helpful! Thank you for watching!
And learn how to identify avoidants
Yes this is helpful as well! They usually struggle with the self awareness, empathy, accountability and reliability portions.
Very excellent video I really enjoyed that. It got me taking notes of the eight different emotional maturity checkpoints very good. I think it was a very good self-help video.
@stevencichy I'm so glad you found it helpful! Thank you for watching😊
Interesting video content, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her
I feel you. Also been there. And I understand why you've written your comment. You probably suffer like hell. Don't hate yourself for not being able to stop thinking of her. It's been just a month. Your brain is in emergency mode. From a neuroscientific perspective it possibly interprets your situation as life threatening. No wonder it constantly pushes reflections of your relationship into your mind. It wants to make sense of everything and then either fix it or make sure to keep yourself away from repeating this threatening experience in the future. What really helps to take a step back and to reestablish some clarity is counseling. Having a neutral, professional, well-meaning person assess you and what happened can help tremendously. I personally even did a lengthy depth psychology therapy to find out what really happened and what my role was in all of this.
It will get better. You will find peace again, I promise. But you have to go the whole way, process all emotions and thoughts. Face your fears. There's no magic teleport from A to B. But it's worth it. You'll emerge from the other end of the dark tunnel as a better, stronger, more self aware and emotionally reliable person. You got this!
@bartholetbayana9198 I wish you well on your journey forward!
@WatchMysh Thank you for being so kind and encouraging to others!
I liked the movie clips, they break it up and help accentuate the different qualities, made me laugh a couole times and are short enough, if you dont like them, should be easy to get over it. Adds a little play to her professional and concise delivery.
Thank you for your kind words and appreciating my sense of humor! I feel so seen 😊
first 10 seconds; Oh a meme kind of format, this will be fun AND interesting! after 5min; I feel attacked.
Your comment made me laugh 😂 Thank you for watching!
@@tipsfromatherapist 😂🤣
You're so beautiful and your channel is so professional and lovely❤😊
@Bobjamz3.0 Thank you for watching and for your kind words!
Would you mind creating a part 2 with action tips?
Great idea, I'll see what I can do! Thank you for watching!
I’m gonna start calling Sunday afternoons coffee with “T” since usually have a hot cup and watch your uploads. Thank you for your content!
I love that! I’m so glad you’re here ☺️
Good points. Difficult to find folks with all these qualities haha, yes no one will change unless they truly want to. Thank you🌸
I'm so glad you found it helpful! Don't be discouraged, difficult isn't the same as impossible! There are good people out there, they just aren't as loud and obvious as others.
@@tipsfromatherapist I did and true. Am sure there are good ones, just hard to find. I am weary of the quiet ones...you have to run after them & pry things or they offer little, not reciprocal. Will try not to give up...thx!😊
I wish you well on your journey forward😊
@@tipsfromatherapist Thank you✨️
All excellent points except no mention of trauma, adhd or autism. All can hide within maladaptive behaviour.
Thank you
Yes, this is true! The path towards emotional maturity is different for everyone and it's harder for some than others. Though the ultimate destination of skill development is the same. No singular 10 minute video can cover all possible diagnoses.
Great vid. Wish i saw it 2 marriages ago!
Third time's the charm!
@@tipsfromatherapist Lord i hope so
I know of one person who definitely needs to see this. He is all of the above and then some. I had to ghost him because he thought I was his personal psychiatrist. Always living in his past telling me every wrong every person ever did to him. Overreacted over the smallest of things. He had no one to speak to except for me. I felt sorry for him and tolerated him for far longer than I should have. I always felt miserable after our conversations.
I'm so glad you saw the signs and ran! Good for you!
I feel it...I really do
Thanks for this very insightful list! :) Chapters would have been great in that type of video, though.
I'm so glad you liked it! I'm not sure how to add chapters yet, so I'll try to figure that out!
@@tipsfromatherapist thanks for the reply! It's quite easy. :) Just add time stamps in the description and that's it.
Wow thank you so much @WatchMysh! 😊
Thank you for speaking clearly and concisely. You truly are a wonderful communicator.
I think your audience may take you more seriously/professionally without the movie clips
Cheers, from a fellow mental health professional~
Max
I appreciate feedback from a colleague! I recently learned how to add in the clips thinking it would help make the information more entertaining 😅 The majority of my videos don't have clips in them. I'm thinking of pivoting and learning how to make on-screen visuals instead. I'm quite ignorant to UA-cam and content creation, so I'm learning as I go. Stay tuned!
Very detailed video. Thank you. I want to note one thing - if you can, try not to add so many cut outs.. I understand it is supposed to be funny but it is actually annoying. Also, many of those short videos are people screaming and as a viewer I do not expect those and it is kind of scary and unpleasant. Thank you again.
@tamarsoper4864 Thank you for the feedback! I've been experimenting with video editing and am learning what people like and don't like.
@tipsfromatherapist Good luck! Regardless my comment above - it is a pleasure to listen to you 😊 🫂
@tamarsoper4864 Thank you, I'm so glad you're here😊
Mm, the content is so good that it stands up on its own!
I think a lot of people consume this kind of content without watching, more like radio, so it can be interesting sometimes having this salient psychology punctuated by these kinds of clips.
Excellent information for both self and others. I saw plenty of red flags on both sides of my experience. 😅
Thank you for watching and for your kind words! I'm so glad you found it helpful!
you are beautiful and i am emotionally meture enough to compliment you and not get jealous
@jenandbarrys5580 Thank you for watching and for your kind words
Looks like I've got some work to do.
In my last relationship I was generally good at this stuff but there was some behavior from my partner that became very exhausting after a few weeks. Unfortunately I snapped and behaved immaturely.
They broke up with me. I'm gonna try my best if I ever get into another relationship
@Muhluri None of us are perfect, and we don't need to be perfect to deserve love. I'm glad you have a desire to better yourself, and wish you well on your journey forward!
I love the information, but the clips are distracting. ❤
Agree
Thank you for the perspective! I learned how to add clips thinking it would make the info more entertaining. Once I figure out how to do a poll, I'll see if this is a common experience and adapt accordingly.
I actually enjoyed them lol made me feel that you have a sense of humor which i hear is good for the spirit ❤@tipsfromatherapist
@Luna-ky3jl Thank you for your kind words and for watching!
It depends on the words and tone of voice and body language as to the way the message is received. Plus mood enters into it.😊
Yes absolutely!
I'm enjoying your channel 😃 thank you so much
@QCDoggies I'm so glad you found my videos helpful! Thank you so much for watching! I'm glad you're here!
Very helpful!
I'm so glad you found it helpful! Thank you for watching and for your kind words!
Yes i did, thank you.
You're so welcome! Thank you for watching!
Good, informative video!
I'm so glad you liked it! Thank you for watching and for your kind words!
Thank you 🙏
You’re so welcome 😊 Thank you for watching!
Thank you for summing all this up so well
I'm so glad you found it helpful! Thank you for watching!
2:46 I needed to hear that
@danc5870 I'm so glad you found it helpful! Thank you for watching😊
So good 😌
the clips in between 💎💎😂😂 I agree on these signs!
ok I just read some comments saying the opposite 😅 well, it's impossible to make everyone happy, I personally loved them (I'm 39 and still have a sense of humor, it seems others not so much 😋)
btw just got to the point where you talk about humor 🫢 points for me 😜
Thank you for your kind words and for watching! I'm so glad you're here!😊
😂 I'm as shocked as you are! Our sense of humor isn't for everyone
YES! 🙌
Good content. Very annoying presentation. Those little clips. Ugh. Stop.
👍👍👍
I appreciate your feedback! Most of my videos don't have them. I recently learned how to add in the clips thinking it would help make the information more entertaining 😅 I'm thinking of pivoting and learning how to make on-screen visuals instead. I'm quite ignorant to UA-cam and content creation, so I'm learning as I go. Stay tuned!
One more thought about the clips, which I find so annoying. The very best channels don't rely on stunts like this, they let the content speak for itself.
I appreciate your feedback! Most of my videos don't have them. I recently learned how to add in the clips to help make the information more digestible for a younger audience, as this is a popular format for them. I'm thinking of pivoting and learning how to make on-screen visuals instead. I'm quite ignorant to UA-cam and content creation, so I'm learning as I go. Stay tuned!
I think she's just having some fun which is needed these days. Maybe all the clips don't work but I appreciate her being creative and trying something new.