Jordan Peterson - Is 40 too old to start over? What to do if you're 40 & a "failure."
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- Опубліковано 17 лис 2021
- Jordan Peterson is an outstanding psychologist and teacher - not everything he says is perfect, but he has a lot of wisdom and you'll learn a ton from him if you're open minded enough.
In this video he addresses the question what to do if you're 40 & a so called "failure." He also covers the same question in more detail in a Q&A - here's the clip if you're interested: • JORDAN PETERSON - ADVI...
43, single (can’t afford a relationship), no kids, dead end job, make just enough to cover my bills. Wasted money on partying, smoking weed, drinking liquor, lottery, and chasing women. Just got to the point where I’m tired and from this point on going to do everything in my power to make a better life for myself. I’m going to start that business, get the woman of my dreams, and have financial freedom and live life as I see fit. The best thing going for me right now is staying in the gym it helps and I feel better. 10 days without bar hopping, chasing skirts, smoking weed, and no booze. I’m trusting the process. This video really hit home. Thanks!
Man I’m 28 doing the same thing Tryna get outta of it. I appreciate you telling your truth Bruh
Start practicing yoga and meditation - its much more useful than gym.
So how’s everything going
Respect to you for being open and honest bro. All the best to you!!
40+ , unemployed, lost, I am here. I am not alone here. Reading the comments make me feel better to live.❤
40 today. Totally lost and no idea what to do.
me too . no kids, no money , only have a job
I started over at 30, then again at 50 studying psychology and now at 60 something I’m ready to start all over again. Who know what.
Keep it movin you only 40 not 80.
Me too
Try 69 Yrs. of age & OBLIVIOUS
I'm 37, battling 20 year depression, afraid to talk to people . Obviously no wife, no kid, no job. Living out of my van. At least I have a kick ass van 💪
“You can start from where you are” beautiful.
40 and having to start over. Emotions are very unstable. I need prayers
Keep your chin up brother, it seems like starting over completely but it never is - all of your experiences up to this point including the "failures" have built a foundation no one could ever have without going through those things, a unique foundation you can build an even better life on.
One foot in front of the other, one step at a time with the Logos as your guiding star, that's all you need.
"Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise" -Victor Hugo
Wowwww 😊
Wish I was 40 & able to read this message not 29 Yrs. later
Prayers Up !!!
#KeepFightingTheGoodFight
@@JoshRueff And how exactly do I build a life on two decades of apathy and anhedonia?
Nearing 42 and trying to rebound from lows. Yet to meet expectations of my wife, kid but every day I get closer to my goals. I will make it.
LETS ALL BE GRATEFUL THAT WE ARE STILL BREATHING
Agreed
It's kinda hard when I'd rather not be
41, no kids, not married, both parents have passed, health probs and a dead-end job. I don't think it will get any better to be honest because I cannot catch a break financially.
I am in exactly your position, you are not alone, believe me. Trust God, do what you can bit by bit. Take it one day at a time. If you need a friend I will be your friend.
You Got Facebook Bud?@@pazuzu126
Love from India sir ..
May God bless you and guide you .
Bro I’m 40 and just turnt… I have no kids or wife….. this is just a programming….do things that make you happy forget the things society makes you do ..
Similar boat brother. Keep that head up and keep moving
I restarted at 30 and I was scared as hell honestly. I needed a lot of change (financial, location, people) and saw my mental state slowly deteriorating. I lost over 100 pounds and will have my degree next month and yesterday promoted to reach e-6, a grade/rank where most people retire from I think. I'm currently in asia, have traveled, and speak an additional two languages. I did all of this by sacrificing and having the courage and faith in myself to start over. I still have hard days, but at least I'm stable. You can do it too. Do not think not having a wife and kids make you a failure. Trust me it doesn't and, you're not. Women and kids drain precious resources you may not have at the moment, but that's ok. Strategize a plan, stick to it because you'll be tested and don't give up.
I like that!
For many, it isn't the lack of work ethic. It's just that "life be life-ing" 😂😅. Recommit to yourself. This is your new start!
I really needed this, after going to start my new 17$ hour job with a few 24 yr olds and the position I'm in...I felt and feel like a failure as a man. Why am I on yt telling people this idk bro....but it sucks but i do feel I dig myself out of this tho.I'm 39 BTW no excuses man I've just dropped the ball . no one to blame but I pray and hope to make something of myself even in these even more difficult times then when I was younger. Godbless its darkest before through light 💯
i hope thing are better for you since you posted this comment. im struggling too. im 43 and idk..... hopefully things get better somehow
Hey Legend, thank you for the comment brother. The fact that you're watching videos like this and searching for answers means you're taking action, and that's no small thing. The fact that you're taking full responsibility sets you ahead of the pack right off the bat - every person I respect says that constantly.
In case it helps - one tool that helped me a ton was convincing myself that I deserved the success and the life I was hoping for and imagining every day (visualization/self talk - sounds like a bunch of bs, isn't) -
Not by telling myself I deserved things I didn't, but every time I took an action towards my goal, big or small - like failing miserably on a sales pitch, or trying to build a new system for my business, etc - I would think of that goal and say "I deserve that life/success/, because of what I just did. That's what the greats do, and my future self is great because of what I just did and will continue to do. Every time I "fail," I learn and improve, therefore every time I fail I succeed and get one step closer to victory."
Or, "I'm worthy of becoming that person I see in my future, because I'm doing what it takes to become that person right now. This is diligence, and the hand of diligent will prosper/the hand of the diligent will rule and not be put to forced labor" etc. Those proverbs and others like them are absolute beasts - poverty-mindset killers, whether you believe the Bible or not. They just work. There's a reason those words stuck around for so long. God bless Legend, I wish you wealth of every kind, and beyond all reasonable expectations, and that your name will become your reality sooner than you expect.
The best advice I can give you is to sell solar door to door. It will literally turn your life around. An average sales rep will make more than all of his friends combined.
Barrier to entry ? An I pad….depends on your state though.
@@JoshRueff blessings to you as well, and your words are strong and understood, thank you brother .
@@leewilson5389 How did you get started selling solar?
I’m 45 with 2 adult children starting again after an emotionally abusive marriage and feel like I’ve come out of it to a world I no longer recognise. I don’t know where I fit in and feel like I’m going through the motions every day no longer needed with no real direction and that my best years are behind me and were wasted on someone who didn’t deserve them it’s a hard pill to swallow
I'm 37 and I feel the same way..
The devil is a liar. Your best days are ahead. He was abusive and you deserve better. Besides 40 is the new 20. Go for your dreams it’s never too late unless you’re 💀
@@eternalriver7866 true enough.
I'm 41...staying with my 60 year old dad...discovering my self worth, trying to just now find direction.
I think our issue is we worry about time so much that we forget that action beats time. The more you stay positive and try to do something about your life, the faster better opportunities come.
It may seem unrealistic and delusional but I've noticed throughout history, people who don't lose hope no matter where they are at in life...can change it with the right mindset, faith in God and trying to believe in themselves....just trying is enough...and if you try, change will come.
@@jefferyboat7428 that’s a great way to see things and has given me food for thought. What you’re saying really makes sense - thank you
Turned 42 in April. Recently divorced from a 20yr marriage. No kids. 2 jobs and still barely able to make ends meet. About to move back to my hometown with my mother and sister. Feeling a bit depressed. BUT, I know it’s gonna get better. It has to. It’s not over!
Its never too late.... Im at where yall all are... Im doing ok... Didn't no one help me at all.. i just got up and grind looking for anything that pays. Now im working 2 full time jobs studio apt... Its a start
Im 43 worked a deadend job, no kids, no wife, trying to find a direction...
Thankfully, in today's age, 43 is actually still pretty young. You have time on your side still because so much can happen in just a decade, let alone 30, 40 years. (Imagine living in the 17th century - you'd be on your deathbed.)
If you write out your ideal dream/vision 3x a day (making yourself think about it without limiting yourself) until it doesn't hurt to, then speak it 3x daily, then follow your intuition and take action (it'll be risky) on where it leads you, you'd give yourself a good chance to become who you want to, and get what you want out of life as a result.
Immersing yourself in stories/movies that inspire you is helpful too. And Jordan Peterson's Self Authoring course, if you can get through it, can transform you.
Same
Whatever you're facing now doesn't have to be the end of your story - it could even be the beginning of one of the greatest underdog comebacks the world has ever seen.
Why not you?
When you make that comeback, please share the details, it helps people ( : @@ceooflonelinessinc.267
Any time is a good time to start over😊
I love that...just made my day thank you.
Amein
@@lonewolf-fq3kc of course not everyone one can do it, I became a full time student at 50, it is possible
I need more of this
Most people are looking at things all wrong. I promise you no matter your situation it could be worse. There are millions of people that have a hard time finding clean drinking water. Some countries are run by cartels, that prey on the weak. Paycheck to paycheck in the USA is rich compared to alot of situations out there.
Very true, and rich compared to humans throughout history as well.
The problem is less material and more psychological I think - if you compare yourself to others and feel poor, you basically are, in the sense that you're experiencing all of the cortisol spikes and drops/downregulations of dopamine/serotonin that come with feeling poor -
Those chemicals are so important to be able to be confident, courageous and willing to take risks in life, to be actualized, happy to the degree that that's possible etc...
41 and just getting the hang of this thing called life. I'm living my best life now. Better relationships. Learning and experiencing new things. Be honest with yourself about everything and change it the way you want.
40 years, lost job in aug 2023
Not married, no kids, taking care of unwell family
Just be thankful you are still breathing
God bless and stay strong. Hard work and prayers could do wonders.
I think not married or having kids is a win.
Jordan Peterson is gold! I radically made it after 40, after stumbling on a secret. I’d failed so much I wanted to end it all but I’m so glad I didn’t. I actually recently talked about it in my recent post. I love posts like this.
Nice video.
Very Very true
I think the way the world is going, more and more of us will feel lost somewhat.
I'm not doing too bad but not great either, I'm about to possibly move cities but have no real reason to move or not move, and so on.
thank you...
I found myself in a situation like this after a layoff from a company that I had worked for 19+ years. 40 year old man in a 20 year olds situation, but it's so much harder at 40 to start over. You've got this life of experiences at 40. Like a lot of my life was in my old company, because I spent so many man-hours employed at the place. To look at life at 40 from a 20 year olds perspective, it's really not the same! You don't have as much time to grow when you're 40. My brother for instance, in his mid twenties he became a firefighter, now he is a captain in the fire department, and if he wanted to leave at 19 years, he'd be supported by gov, he'd get the check, etc.
I never had that opportunity when my company dismissed me.
There are no mistakes or failures, only learnings. See how much you have learnt.
Love this - gold.
I love this man
I'm 40.devorced woman.no kids, don't like my teaching job,living alone, can't earn enough money for traveling.Just lost😢
I'm sorry to hear that :( The good news is, you have to be lost before you can find/be found. If you persistently search for and aim at the Light/Logos, you'll find it and be rescued by it somehow.
It works even in the darkest of nights. Whether you're religious or not that pattern repeats, just as consistently as the pattern of geese flying south for the winter.
Be positive 🙂because there is ease after every difficulty.
Peterson is an international treasure. He helps everyone, not just the young.
Truth
This bit doesn't say anything tho.
Not really. He basically thinks all 40+ have already faltered. He said it himself.
40 today and felt like it's the saddest birthday because I feel lost. I don't feel like I can be a kid and I don't feel grown up enough. 40 feels so strange.
I got you. 41 in 5 days haven’t worked in a year due to anxiety depression self esteem and irritability around others. Top that off with a Criminal record when was 33 and voila. Age is just a number, I’ve had a good life overall to this point, just going with the flow.
47 years old. Lots of startups that failed, public firing, divorced...now broke. I guess the only way is up.
Starting over like everyone in the chat. I am happy that i am alive for one thing. To have the ability to start over. The ability ro learn and love. My job gets me nowhere. I feel happy because i take care of people for a living at a rehabilitation/nursimg unit. But financially i am broke after this custody battle my xwife.
Live your life and tell yourself it will get better. Say positive things to yourself. Do things that are new and you are not comfortable with. Its the only way to find new things you like. Learn a language or new skill. Join a martial arts class or danve class etc.
So much love for everyone here and the openesss in the chat. 🙏😁😊
I am on the journey just lile everyone here
39 bout to be 40 I wasted my 20s and 30s I truly regret it
I know the feeling. For what it's worth, I think almost everybody feels that at some point, but especially Millennials. It doesn't help much to focus on how our income/purchasing power has dropped substantially from the prior generation, but the truth's the truth.
The good news of course is that 50 is the new 30-40, depending on your health (compared to the past). Back in the day we'd be just about done lol - now, 35-40 feels (and is) young.
I was just reminded of a really cool method based on the saying "What you Think About You Bring About" (Proverbs 10:24-25) similar to "Where Attention Goes, Actions Flow, & Where Actions Flow Things Grow" - imagine a desktop in your mind.
Every time you have a negative thought pulling you down off course, visualize it, grab it and throw it in the recycling bin on the left. When you have a good thought (of self-belief, hope, courage, love, belief, etc), pull that thought over to the "Believe" folder on the right. You can say, in the first case, "that's not me, that's my old self" when you delete the thought, and for the good thoughts, "that's me, that's who I truly am, I'll keep that and use it to benefit myself my family and the world around me." Something like that.
For regrets, it's probably best to drag and drop in the bin, or at least use the regret to fuel actions in the opposite direction. I wish you the best of luck and every form of wealth - rooting for you!
I am 41 with a family and a house. My career hasn’t really worked out as planned. I’m about to try to restart my career. I have my plan.
Family is first, work is secondary... you've got what matters, the rest is icing on the cake
Love it. Best of luck to you! I hope you succeed beyond your highest and wildest hopes.
So much pain here.. but people life was not suppoused to be easy.. trust me I know very well. We have to improve what we can..appreciate ..pray.. its all just passing by.
i just became 40 no wife no kids and no money in my bank account .but still got a job . but i need kids , need a financial freedom . but its so hard to start over . need help
You have your freedom! No dependants and commitments, their is a massive silver lining there. You aren't beholden to anyone. The world is still your oyster my friend. You can drive your life in any direction you desire. You can potentially work abroad.
It may sound cliche but the easiest way to earn more money is to budget. A dollar saved is a dollar earned. There are ways to enjoy yourself without spending more money... especially if you live in a large country. If you can surround yourself with like minded people, the better off and happier your life will be.
quite my job 3months before . no plan how to start over again and how go ahead in career and take care of family.
31 and lost. I can't fight battle with social anxiety. I can't. I want to quit😢
About to be 37. I have big plans. Come on life, lets go!
Same here am 37 too with big plans.
38 alone on my own...2 kids i dont see but send money. No felonies, not sick but tons of bad luck all my life despite my optimism. Help others, work any job i can (b4 and after having kids), no love, 2% support (being when i have people are here or when they need me, or no where to be found)......idk what to do besides work attempt to save and better myself. Depsitr my efforts or what lil progress, a wrench gets thrown in my engine. Im ready to give it all up 🙁
Have a nephew who is soon to be 40. He has no friends no love life but he insists that gaming online is his solitude. It's a good thing he does have a job because this uncle isn't going to bail him out whatsoever
40, three kids, work overnights, mom by day…2-3 hrs of sleep. Oh God help and guide me to what I’m worth. There’s more to me, but can’t even think of what to do to be successful
I’m 35 and my knee hurts 😂
work Expirence you have, or lack of work Expirence you have its all relative. Very soon all the old jobs and professions will be obsolete. The future is arriving. AI machines higher technology ect. We will all be starting anew. Whether we live in a basement or own a great home being a doctor it will make no difference. We will all start from the bottom soon. 40 or 85 will make no odds. From grafter to dosser we can not escape progess. For some it feels like dispair all that work for nothing. But for those current society forgets it offers a new light of somesome from nothing.
What if your 69 yrs. old, should I even be listening to this message?
Any reason not to?
@@JoshRueff sounds like you know something I don't ?
@@worldview730 I actually thought your original comment was on this video: ua-cam.com/video/J5YdcxIsPXY/v-deo.html&ab_channel=TheUnconventionalCompass
With this video and JP's video here, I don't see any reason not to listen to the message, I think both could be helpful, but I don't remember every detail in the videos, so take that with a grain of salt ( :
@@JoshRueff Yes, I'm all over the place
Many would agree that 30's are quite similar to 20's if you take a good care of yourself. Then 40's are similar to 30's and even 20's because the question of the same sort arises across all these age groups including you reading this comment. "What 40's are like?" just the same way younger people are wondering what 30's are like.
I’m having to learn… what does success and greatness look like to God?
Better question- how about starting over at 65? Lost everything. Money. How do I not end up homeless? You can start from where you are. I have. But I can’t start over savings and investments again because the formula is for long term over a lifetime of planning. The biggest problems may not just be ourselves or our own choices but also how treacherous other human beings can behave in order to get what they want even at the expense of someone they claim to love. Maybe our seeking love and belonging and maybe even dangerous? And maybe Soplosky is right and there is no such thing as free will?
Despite enormous hardships, I have taught myself how to love and accept me unconditionally and to forgive my failures and shortcomings. I am concerned for my financial health and future.
Theft is a problem. And so is betrayal. We live in a world where we are vulnerable to the psychology of all humans including and especially those in our families. Life can turn into a real shit show. But, Peterson is right and one can rebuild if one takes a decisive stance to do at least one thing everyday to head in the direction of improvement. I turned my life around. It wasn’t easy. Sure I live with some pretty intense regrets. But I have a lot to be proud of and I did pretty good given everything life threw at me. We don’t all get our dreams fulfilled. And wealth, (while better than poverty) isn’t the end all. In fact plenty of wealthy people just got lucky and they also have screwed up unhappy lives.
I’ll agree again with Peterson, bitterness is awful. Dont allow yourself to become bitter. It’s a slow creep and you can do something to intervene on your behalf by being aware of your attitude towards yourself and life. Let it all go. Forgive mostly yourself. Forgive others when it helps you personally to move on. Find what is right in each day and then build a practice of gratitude. Ignore the one asshole driver on the road who just cut you off and instead pay attention to the other 30 drivers who are doing great. Infuse some degree of joy in each day. Exercise your body on purpose, stand and walk more than sitting, choose the leafy greens and clean protein first. Limit or eliminate sugar. Take exceptionally good care of you! Do one thing everyday you think might help you attain your best life. Don’t give up.
❤
❤❤
Hm I am starting over and only God can get me through this
Be positive because there is ease after every difficulty.
46 huge debt, tax problems, no dl, no hope
Does that apply if I am 50?
I hope so! (& think so)
Starting over after 30 is nigh impossible in this day and age
Does this apply to folks over 40?( Rolls eyes)
I'm going to go with yes (:
@@JoshRueff..yes it applies?(53 here) or yes, one is screwed if over 40?
53? Yes, definitely applies. Although imagine you're, let's say 70, and you'll live to 88.
That's a hair under two decades - still plenty of time to make massive progress and transform your life into something great, but the urgency is much higher and the rut is admittedly deeper - it'll take some more deliberate and focused actions to create the habits to drive the right changes and outcomes.
@@JoshRueff ..ty sir
go beast mode and you'll be good within a year or 2 but it really depends how much of a monster you become and how much you NEED it.
Commitment, infinite amount of people don't want to let me follow my path
Death gotta be easy cause life is hard
If you're healthy be grateful to almighty God
I'm 55 and a failure
nah you're not a failure the fact that you're here means you have the drive and need to be some where. YOU'RE NO FAILURE.
That's it ^^ Truth.
I'm rooting for you Johnny you got this brother
Never quit
Same
40 no kids health problems no friends no job no money no relationship for the past 25 yrs guess I'll go back to my meatballs
The problem with these videos is that people who have the work ethic to do well don't become downtrodden by 40.
not true at all
Work ethic can be learned and bad habits can be broken if you’re desperate enough
You can have work ethic so good that you don't bother to look around and see you're digging yourself into the side of a mountain.
svaki kraj neceg starog pocetak istog neceg ljepsega.staro uzrecno.
50yrs old is too old to start over. Can't stand my job, but to be honest, I don't want another one.
At 50 ageism is real unless you're a manager
Says who? So many people are starting school again in their 50s and upward! It's never too late to change, it's inevitable :D
@@janetholmes you didn't read my whole comment. I said: I don't want another one.
@@janetholmes And how much time will they have to enjoy their new life?
@@kaczok1985 Same as the rest of us I imagine, the rest of our lives. It's all relative really, we take it one day at a time and aren't where we started. You can be defeated or victorious at any age.
An 18 years old girl drug addict died of an overdose. She was beautiful healthy and has all potential to be successful. You think you are a forty years old loser! Why God chose to give you breaths for forty years? Every morning why ? While took it from that young girl?? Think about it! Don't label yourself as something. You are everything to Allah (God) . That's what's really matters. love u❤ have a nice day❤
True because there is ease after every difficulty.
Gobbledyfuckinggobblegook, may God have mercy on all who turn to this ZioShill for wisdom!
Thanks Mulu, feedback is always helpful - anything specific you feel is wrong/suspect/gobbledyfuckinggobblegook? (solid scrabble word)
What about it was gobbledygook? He basically just said if you take it one step at a time, stay committed, stay focussed, you can make huge improvements to your life in years. Sounds like pretty solid advice to me.
I'm catholic and even I think God is a dick. Didn't the old testament paint him as a bloodthirsty warlord?
Step one, don't fall for pseudo-cults like Peterson or Tate
Peterson is a pseudo-cult?
38 alone on my own...2 kids i dont see but send money. No felonies, not sick but tons of bad luck all my life despite my optimism. Help others, work any job i can (b4 and after having kids), no love, 2% support (being when i have people are here or when they need me, or no where to be found)......idk what to do besides work attempt to save and better myself. Depsitr my efforts or what lil progress, a wrench gets thrown in my engine. Im ready to give it all up 🙁
7 years younger but same.