Life begins at 40: the biological and cultural roots of the midlife crisis | The Royal Society
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- Опубліковано 14 тра 2019
- During the 20th century, the midlife crisis became a fashionable means of describing feelings of disillusionment with work, disenchantment with relationships, detachment from family responsibilities, and the growing fear of personal death that began to haunt those beyond the age of forty. Subscribe to our channel for exciting science videos and live events, many hosted by Brian Cox, our Professor for Public Engagement: bit.ly/3fQIFXB
Coined in 1965, the term 'midlife crisis' is often used as satire in popular culture, with numerous examples of stereotypical depictions of rebellion and infidelity. It has been a popular focus of research seeking to explain why and how middle age presents particular social, physiological and emotional challenges.
In this lecture, Professor Mark Jackson, winner of the 2018 Wilkins-Bernal-Medawar Medal, explores a rich range of historical sources to argue that the midlife crisis emerged as a result of demographic changes, new biological accounts of ageing, and deepening anxieties about economic decline, political instability, rising level of divorce, and the impact of family breakdown on social cohesion.
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Yeah so I have been going through a 20 year mid life crisis. Ah the memories and elevations of life when you can think deeply every day and figure out what’s what!
I'm just a lay person, 37 year old woman, I've been going through what you call a midlife crisis since I was about 32. I realized I was in a marriage I was completely unsatisfied with, raising two wonderful children in a relatively stable home, in a virtually celibate relationship. Well midlife crisis is being discussed as some sort of disorder, perhaps it's just a realization of the aggregated dissatisfactions stemming from a stable life. I submit to you that human beings were never meant to be monogamous, that our marriage system serves a purpose yet is contradictory to our animal nature, and that at some point it will either be dealt with gradually and sustainably, or erupt in the form of a full out crisis at which point a person must confront their unmet needs before they die. This comes across as a dysfunction because it throws off what we believe to be the logical best practice for living. I feel this comes across most often in men because they can't feel as attached to the well-being of their offspring as a female biologically does. It's just animal. We women feel this too, but probably socially feel more obligated to suppress those feelings so that we can maintain a parent says decent human beings. Jung wouldn't probably view this as the shadow of ourselves expressing itself. That shadow grows long after mid day, especially when we think of the things we didn't accomplish that morning.
@@sheenaduncan5839
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@@user-xe4jx6oh8z Интересная книга
Subscribed! Thanks for this lecture, It has been very interesting.
Life begins when you delete social media, learn who your real friends are, and learn what is important to you.
Well said
I got them all. Thank you god.
@@amanansari5567 then you are one of the few who know what life is really about and you understand the key to true happiness. May you enjoy the peace that comes with living in a world where true things matter most.
1000
So happy I learned that at 22
At 52 I started University.I will be 56 when I get my degree, but I don't care, I love learning and I'm living my dream.
This is beautiful. Congratulations to you! I wish you well.
I hope your still at it. Keep going.
That's excellent!
AMAZING! You got this!
That's wonderful! You are givin me hope, thanks!
My life started at 40 since I was in depression from age of 14 until late thirties. Depression took good part of my life and I do not want to miss a single minute any more. Have a nice day.
May I ask how you got rid of your depression? I'm so glad you're out of that dark place now!
@@bethkirky I've found my wife that was really supportive, then got a children. My wife made sure that I'm involved in their upbringing and while taking care for them my depression gradually dissapeared. I've tried with therapies prior to my marriage but it gave no result. I suppose that , for me, my children were/are the cure. Depression is highly idividual problem and I can not say that what works for me works for everyone. I'm lucky...
@@vlax12 Thank you for your detailed reply 🙏 that's amazing, you found purpose, support and love. It makes a lot of sense in terms of getting rid of your depression. I wish you and your family the best ❤
May I ask how you found out you were in a depression?
@@JordiMuntada approximately at age 23 l've had suicidal toughs I've said to my parents and they've took me to psychiatrist... Prior to that I've had lack of interest in everything in life, had no goal in life nor desire to have one. Everything seemed miningless all the time. It excalated at age 23 and after that I've been on some antidepressants. I can say that they gave me time to give up the worst possible solution for that condition. After some time I've met my wife and thins started to change for better.
At 40 I began seriously preparing for retirement funds. I took up running, something I thought I hated and couldn’t do. For the next 15 years I ran marathon, bagged 10k high peaks, did yoga, and traveled to countries by myself. I retired at 57 last year and spent the first year self learn swimming to overcome fear of water. I have been singing satb and barbershop for 2 decades, too.
Now that’s a life well lived. Charge on!
I'm 40 now and doing many of those things. I'm on track to retire around 57-60
However, I'm definitely in the messy middle!
I did learn how to swim in my 20's so there's that.
This is so inspiring. I'm 39, will be 40 in only 5 months, have no retirement savings (other than US social security, which is never much), but will have just graduated with my master's a month earlier. I envision a path similar to yours- working hard to save for retirement while living the life of my dreams, including traveling the world (by myself if I have to!) Your having retired at only 57- just 17 years after you started saving- blows my mind and gives me hope. I'd love to do the same and assumed it wasn't possible.
@@VivaLaVittoria It is doable assuming you have steady and stable employment, below average housing expenses to income ratio, and consistently living below means. I had all 3. I was a low level public servant in local municipality. I contributed heavily into retirement fund. My apartment was reasonable (i know ppl renting a room in someone’s house; the least expensive way to have shelter). I enjoyed time at home and made my own meals. I seldom dined out or hung out with ppl. When i traveled i booked group room bunk bed in hostels (lowest nightly rate). I had a large urban wilderness in my backyard so I hiked and trail ran several times a week (free). Living in a large metropolitan i saw ppl living large all the time that Never affected my resolve to work towards my goal (retired early to have freedom). I cash bought my first house to retire (from money i saved after tax). I don’t need to work part time to make ends meet. The freedom and easy living is exactly what I strived for since i was teenager.
Nice! Keep going don't give up 😉
As someone who recently turned 40, my biggest mistake was trusting others instead of myself
Yes me too
@यश कुमार more motivation just can’t do it 3 or 4 times per night anymore. Once maybe twice.
You are not only. A hard lesson I learned.
Your profile pic 😂 Tim Dillon is the best 😍
💯💯💯
You start to realize why people start to really excel in this age, also why large, multinational companies discriminate towards people over a specific age and it's because of the simple fact that they cannot be manipulated anymore.
I agree with the excelling part. I am in that time of my life and things are only getting better. Yes, aging physically can be challenging but when you have a mind/body/spirit balance of focus you have much to look forward to. If you are continually growing mentally and spiritually and staying fit I think you can avoid the mid life crisis.
Exactly 🥳 bingo my friend u nailed it! I am 48 and nobody can manipulate me ever again. Now life is beautiful zero debt zero marriages two boys from two different ladies. 2020 best year for me!!!
They tend to discriminate against anyone who they aren't already taking advantage of. That's the point.
The discrimination is not because of manipulation. Because a person with kids and loans can be manipulated much more than a young guy with no baggage. It is because of money. Young people are cheaper, and more flexible with timings.
AMEN!!!
40 is when one finally knows themselves. For me, my 20s was about making mistakes and finding my path. My 30s was about observation and learning how to make amends. My 40s is about security and standing on my own two feet. It is lessons learned and putting the wisdom from the past to good use. I'm new at this 40s stuff so here I go ...I got this 🤜🤛❤️
I am right there with you.
Are You 40?
My 20s was basically living in pain of my mental disorders. 30s was admitting to my mental disorders. Currently 36 and now I feel like I can start my damn life. The fears has ifted and any future fears might be in fear of who I've become.
I'm right with you too on this, I'm 39 too and can relate exactly to what you have said x
Lol you have 2 timing in life
Young adult in total prime of streighth and health: 18-50 for people with lucky genetics. 18-39 for the less lucky ones
Then you have 40/50- to when ever your last year on earth is. You will slowly just like a fruit past his prime. Rot till you collapse
So realize your dreams and goals. Enjoy life. And be in peace with yourself if you did the best you could in life. Cause not your every goal and dream will be fullfilled
It takes about 40 years to realize that almost everything you've been taught was a lie. This realization takes a toll because you think of all the time you wasted.
example would be?
@@Melly16yr10 Like how money works and how worthless it really is. Every 10 years, you lose about 50% of your purchasing power.
This is why I homeschool!!
@@EtherDotterMatterBitter this doesn’t seem to be a very good example. My purchasing power increases each year because I was taught to invest. So, I invest in assets that exceed inflation and always put money away each paycheck.
@@EtherDotterMatterBitter Every 10 years you lose 20% purchasing power, not 50%. And all you have to do is know to use high-yield savings account to prevent that. Or invest & actually grow your purchasing power over time. One thing I will say is that people on death's door often regret caring a bit too much about money and not enough about experience/enjoyment.
I am 45 years old and I am healthier than ever in my life, I improved my diet, my relationship, I changed my habits, I started a daily exercise routine. There is no secret, just take the wheels of your life, like a grown man, and do what is best for yourself and your loved ones.
Agreed! Same here!
I'm absolutely with you on that one, I have the best health, and fitness as a 44 y.o than ever. I started running ultra marathons a few months ago.
I feel after a life of struggles, those (you have described) have become my focus. :)
That's what I'm talking about!!!!!! I love it and congrats. That is inspiring. Thank you
I'm 62 and I've learnt and developed so much in just the last ten years that I feel like I'm a radically more evolved version of the man I was then. I'm also a lot more calm and content because of it. Never stop learning, never stop being open to change, try not to struggle against things you have no control over (whilst recognising that you can control a lot more than you think - you can, for example, control how you think about things). I have found that being careful about diet is enormously important (to mood and brain energy besides other fitness) - cut sugar and starchy carbs, eat fat, etc. This process of learning, development and growth continues throughout life. Also, in a very positive sense, not nihilistic (I was nihilistic, I'm not now. It caused me a serious anxiety breakdown in my late 40s), nothing really matters. Very often things that can be very difficult in life and that cause great distress and pain can, with future hindsight, be seen to be essential steps on the way to better situations and a wiser self. We need challenges to grow. Concentrate your efforts on the people you love and care about.
I am 62 years old, i feel like my life just begins each day
it also depends upon social environment. some people inherit it and some people create it.
Oh my young man good for you. I'm 82 years old and im thinking about fighting in the UFC
Go plant based. Fountain of youth.
I'm 47, I have had very rough life
I find life fatiguing ...
I'm starting to see the same cycles on repeat over & over.
The world & people in it, seem so predictable that theres a level of boredom to it.
And it's not environmental, I've lived in several countries and every state on the East Coast from Mass to Fla
Texas, Colo, Az, N.O I moved around constantly because I would get bored easily and seek new challenges.
@@Peakfreud new challenges ? Don't suppose you'd like to spar against an 82 year old cage fighter, would yah ?
An older friend once told me, “in your 20s - you don’t know what the hell you’re doing, in your 30s - you’re still figuring it out, by the time you get to 40 - you don’t give a sh*t, and by the time you’re 50 - you really don’t give a sh*t”
Turned out, at 45. I get what she was talking about. The quicker you don’t give a shhh about what other people say, the happier you are. So for all the young ones out there - learn this lesson early on and you’ll get to live a happier life for longer!
This is so true! There comes a time when you stop and ask yourself why you are doing certain things in your life. You realize which things you were doing bc you were "supposed to." When you instead start doing what makes you happy and what is meaningful to you is when you begin to find fulfillment, peace, and happiness.
I got to this stage after I had my first child at 29. When you have kids you tend to have a lower number of f&$ks to give. Your obligation to your child is utmost priority. Then you grow into that 40s “I don’t give a shhh” persona really fast. Well said!
As a 24 year old, I just realized this last year. I knew it would be easier but I didn't fully comprehend what it meant until then.
@@reyne8424That's awesome that you realized it so early. Unfortunately for me, I really didn't finally truly start being myself and making decisions based on my vision for my life until well into my 30's. By then, some extensive damage had been done, but that's life I guess.
So true.
At 55 I never felt old until I got divorced. It was heartbreaking and at times I never thought I would get through it. But it also allowed me to focus on my health. Eating right and lots of exercising has done wonders for me. I’ve never felt better physically and I’m in the best shape of my life. I did my first triathlon a few weeks ago. I just feel like I have a new lease on life. I don’t feel old anymore knowing I can outpace many of my younger peers.
Fantastic! Good for you!
What ever makes you feel good. Young people are not your food. Don’t get caught. You’ll have to start over again. They will train from tik tok and leave you in the dust.
I've got soo many examples like this through my life , that is hard for me to define why is age even part of the equation, we are out there putting as much information and experience in our brains as we can , the number of years we have survived , seems inconsequential to the final result
So true! Many younger folk are in worse shape than the older ones.
@@BTCSowhat what?
Life begins when you stop kidding yourself and trying to keep up with the society's conforming norms. It begins once you look at yourself using the tools of truth and sincerity not whether I'm right or wrong but rather what works or not. Detachment from the tribe is extremely scary but liberating to be yourself.
couldn't agree more!!! I've been so much happier since I turned 40 and did so...
Absolutely !! People are very difficult to manipulate after their mid thirties,,,, well some... but it's an awakening and a huge realization, also giving up having to living up to and line up to some unrealistic /imagines and imposed expectation that doesn't want our benefit in any sense
Yes, I agree. It's taken me so long to realise just how much we are all socialised and conditioned to behave in 'appropriate' ways and to believe the 'correct' things. It is still something that I am becoming ever more aware of as it can be hard to identify exactly which are our true beliefs and behaviours and which are just preconceptions and habitual routines we have either been trained to perform or have fallen into through life. I now really make an effort to break my beliefs down as best I can to find their fundamental basis, question everything and try to be open to alternative positions (I have found that even what I took to be the fundamentals or core principles until recently can be broken down themselves too just by asking why?).
@@adm58 yep. And all for a cleverly constructed slavery system that benefits a certain group
@@adm58 I’m glad you’re being intentional about the life you want to live rather than living by default. Growing up, our parents would enforce beliefs and ideas based on made-up narratives such as tradition, religion, and culture. It’s time to return to our core.
Here watching as a 39yo intern. Shout out to all those who start again.
Paul, I am in same boat as you are. I turned 39 a month ago.
@@sudhaunshusp best of luck to you mate!
That's courageous
what is your new field/career in? i'm 50 and my company wants me gone!!
Im 44 and this year I decided to attend school to learn programming, a complete departure from my lifelong vacation in metal fabrication. Wish me luck!!
“We have two lives, and the second begins when we realize we only have one.”
― Confucius
and minutes later, he exhaled
Being as Confucianism developed in China alongside Taoism and later, Buddhism-- in a culture steeped in the belief of reincarnation-- I seriously doubt that Confucius ever said anything about having only one life.
what a quote !
stop talking in riddles, great people
Civilization tech unlocked
When I was 57 to 65 years old , I wrote 80 songs , sang , wrote and produced 8 albums . I found as a woman the older I got, the more comfortable, confident, and empowered I became . I lived all the decades of my life , being married to one man and raising four children . Joy is the word to use to live your life. I never had plastic surgery. I’ve been an athlete , hiker, runner , scuba diver . I just did things instead of thinking too much of alot of nothing . At 69 , I’m strong physically. I’m confident and ready to live to at least a hundred . Just live, eat good food , laugh, travel , mist if important, go to the gym ..repeat ..go to the gym always and always .
So inspiring.
Hell yeah Joni rock on baby
Aww this made me emotional in a happy way.. I love seeing comments like this and I’m so happy I came across yours 🙏🏽🤍🦋
Thank you !
Thank you !
Bought my harley at 38. Every year before that except for 2 i was a homless drug addict. Didnt care if i lived or died. Been clean for 3 years and i can honestly say finally my life has a purpose
Sorry you had to have that experience before finding happiness.
Well done man...i wish I can say 3 years (7months) keep on going and don’t EVER GO BACK!
Don’t know you but I believe in you. Great job
💖
Congrats! Keep up!
Don't let your memories be bigger than your dreams
That's Awesome,never heard this before,but I love it,thanks!!
Yeah well said man
Love this
I needed to hear this. I get very nostalgic for my past. It's very painful. It's hard to focus on the future, especially with COVID ruining things.
@AnubisPatron Don’t let your memories and dreams be bigger than your Now 🙏🏻
This was very interesting to me because my mother used to always tell me this. In her case, she and my father were having some of the best years of their lives, and I was actually born to my mother when she was 42 and my father 47. My mother went on to have a solid career well into her 60s, and my dad loved his work until he retired in his 70s. I am now 41 to put that into perspective.
I have much older parents too and I am about to be 41. It's a very strange place to be.
@@butterflymoon6368 Why do you feel it is such a strange place to be, to have much older parents ? How did/do you feel about it?
Your mother was 42 when you were born?!! oh my! you just gave me the biggest hope for my future since I felt so discouraged about not having children yet bc I don't find my couple at 38 almost 39!, this comment made my day, thank you.
@@clementnowak5316 It's strange because people my age aren't going through what I'm going through now (sick parent, care homes etc.). My life-stage is only shared by people who are 20 years older than me. When my parents are no longer in my life I guess it will also feel strange because then my friends/peers will be going through what I'm going through now. It's just feeling out-of-step.
@@jt7273What does that have to do with what he said?
@39, I left a long term abusive relationship and now in early 40s am going back to college. I am terrified being the age of the students' parents but I have to do it. I am also terrified of being alone but I have to take the chance and hope to find someone who treats me really well. 40s have brought the highest highs and lowest lows. It has taken me a long time to figure things out, maybe a decade more than the average person. This could be a result of conditioning via narcissistic, sexual and physical abuse but I am done with takers and haters. Your circle shrinks as you set boundaries and demand the best for yourself. I have a voice. It shakes and is scared but I'm learning how to use it. With each use, it gets louder. Let's see what happens.
I'm rooting for you. Go for it!!!!,😏😏
@@tiffanylcollins3631 🤩
You can do it! My wife is now close to the finish line in the process of getting her license (medical field) about 9 years after our marriage, while raising two kids.
I'm right there with you! I have a choice and a voice. No more crap people and sacrificing my time and dreams for them and their lies. Being me, being fit and healthy, and just enjoying my life without narcs, liars and cheaters.
I graduated with my bachelors at 38 before the pandemic and now, 41, finishing my masters. It is much easier than you think. I became friends with people all ages and the love received was so warming and welcoming. I prayed to have a great time in my college years, GOD far exceeded my expectations. One of my greatest friends is only 26 and we share bible scriptures daily, go out on friend dates, and enjoy "college life." In both degrees, bachelors and master's, people are all ages. Last semester, one of my classmates was late sixties. My very close friend is 80 and graduated last year with her PhD after teaching school over 30 years. Life gets better with age! Embrace and enjoy it!
Forty is the “old age” of youth, while 50 is the “youth” of old age😊
in general maybe, but it depends on individual trajectory too, someone gets age-related problems at 40 or 50
Beautiful!!
Yes!! 😂
True, midlife is closer to 50, not 40. Perhaps it's different in the UK, but most American researchers define midlife at 50ish, with a 45 - 50 transition. I would not consider anything earlier than 45 middle age.
There is a huge difference between someone just coming out of his 30s and someone 50 plus.
It can't be any better said. Wow,
Stay healthy. Exercise. Keep your hobbies and interact with people who see the best in you.
Good👍🏻. Well said.
Yes and do not stay 6 ft apart
@@redheadedearthchild4920 Amen! Haha :)
True, also don´t get scared or nervous of being around the people who mirroring you, teaching you always something new about you, helping you to improve...Personal observation from last months..
@Billy B hoax.?? 🙄My sister works in icu unit. Go into one some day. Tryst this is not a coax. I guess people like you want something to believe in..
I come from Michigan where we have 4 seasons and I look at life just like the seasons…1-20 is the Spring of your life fresh and new..21-40 is the Summer of your life ..prime and reproductive..41-60 is the Fall of your life where reproduction falls to the way side opening up a useful and beautiful and colorful time. The person you were before puberty emerges but with all the wisdom you gained thru the summer of your life. And then 61- on is the winter of your life where it can be also beautiful, a time for contemplation, thoughtful conversations and the warmth of your loved ones to carry you thru❤️🌎✌🏼
Here in Ontario where I experience seasons too, I am voicing my agreement with your description.
Except that many (like me, female professional) now start their families at 40ish. Mine were born when I was 38 & 42. I seem to have extended that productive/reproductive phase by about 20 years - makes the Autumn phase pretty intense. 😳
Good way to look at it. As a football fan who’s 43, I say I am in the 3rd quarter of life.
No, for me my 30s were my winter.
60+ just seems like you're wondering why you're still around, if you made investments what would you use it for at that point.
I'm 42 and having the opposite of a midlife crisis. I made a huge change in my life in 2021 that had a domino effect that made everything BETTER. I knew things would improve, but I never expected things to be THIS GOOD. I'm starting over in some aspects of life, and I welcome it because it is necessary. But I have never been happier. I am literally riding a wave of 6+ months of uninterrupted, true happiness. I have never experienced anything like this before, I have never experienced feeling THIS GOOD before. I am grateful that I have been pushing my own self-improvement for the past 22 years, because it is obviously working!!!!
That is fantastic news!!! Congratulations! 🥳
This guy stopped drinking.
@@orange555 So did I.
I'm so so happy to read your message. Keep on it.
My money says he left Canada.
This could be said in one sentence : Life begins when you start doing what YOU want ,not what other people wants you to do.
Yes, it is..
100% this guy babbles about to say nothing but that and to plug books.
@@jakesanders136 no but clearly you are
Yeah I realized it before I turned 30, it's still not that easy at some points
@@jakesanders136 If you don't mind me asking, what is your age?
Just turned 50 and starting to live a fantastic life. Life begins whenever you are ready to do so. Age is just a number. ❤
What if I'm ready to start at age 80?
@@abramlittle7102 Then start. You can't have the time back. Start now.
Happy birthday Nancy!
@@abramlittle7102 more the better.Now you have enough experiences ....
Have a great life.....
Have a happy and contented life ..
Find true , caring friends.. Some times our pets (Dogs,cats....)Our our best friends,we can trust them than humans...
***Gardening,live with plants and trees.....they too are very good friends than most of the time.....We can communicate with them..Plants and Trees feel us they can help us.
Good Books... reading is ... you can join the library and book Clubs.....
Help neady people and Animals.....
Join Yoga class, Laughing Therapy class,do some jogging in your neighborhood
***Join to a club ...( senior citizens) and have fun....
Do some social work...join with good genuine people.
May God bless you 🙏🙏🙏
Can't agree more. I just turned 52 and life can't be more better in terms of self confidence, inner peace. And definitely the greatest blessing is being healthy.
Happiness is not about achieving your desires, but controlling them. Thank you this was an amazing lecture!
Its about ourselves getting our basic and higher needs MET first. Nobody has a good life without that . Everyone lies about that stuff too for obvious reasons. Women haters and abortion hysterics were not wanted as children, ask them. Where ELSE does the rage come from? Happiness is no choice but we love to accuse others of that piece of "wrong thinking" There's nothing sadder than abusive parents imposing GOOD THINGS on their kids through punishment, rage and unacknowledged personal despair.
Truth. Once my "wants" we're curtailed and my needs met continuously, my life became more enjoyable.
Happiness isn’t in the attainment but rather the pursuit.
I often wonder if it's more about compromising and negotiating, rather than control per se. Just controlling it, hardly, can be draining, but if you can compromise and find a way to get and give, I think it's better overall. What do you think?
Grapes are a fun snack
At 37 im finally beginning to gain emotional maturity and untangle from the need to rescue others. Loved my childhood but this next chapter feels like its going to be amazing.
How is it so far?
How is it going now that you're almost 40?
I'm loving my 40's. Its the "I don't give a fuck" age. Loving it.
I definitely get that. More boldness and less living according to how people see me. Take me or leave me the %$÷ alone. For me it's a big fat blur between 20, 30, 40. Honestly it feels like a 10 year dream and I woke up crying. Wondering wth just happened.
where you live ? usa ?
@@mendoncaangelo i expected a better answer :p
Best comment. Lol! 🔥
My entire life has been a "don't give a fck" since I recall. I mean, I became expert in auto didacting after finding out that people around me did not had the right answers to my questions. So I ended up finding my own ones. A hell of a trip I must say but also fun. Mostly when analyzing failures on my desitions.
Came into a conclusion: "Aging is about how many fcks you give to the world by doing what you love instead of what you are told to do".
Free souls never get restrained. 😎
The life starts when you stop to please others , and start help others.
Absolutely 💯 %
Brilliant and true.
Felt this.
Not really, am 40 and somehow I was conditioned from a young age to serve others and as a result put family and friend's needs before mine until my life crumbled and I realized no one really cares about you.
Finally after much self reflection, I realized it is a stupid approach and Christianity has something to do with this. You achieve happiness when you put yourself first. When you become so selfish that your selfishness overflows out of your abundance into others, that is the point of truly helping others.
Making sense 🎉
I'll turn 40 this year and constantly feel sadness over my younger years. I had no clue about so much, but mostly my own abilities and confidence in myself was absent. Now, i feel like i can accomplish anything i set my mind to
It just takes 40 years to figure out that virtually every single thing you were ever taught to do has been completely unnecessary and destructive, and the only reason you were doing all these things was so that you could give people your money.
I'm 48 next month, and definitely wiser and more chilled than ever. But I do miss the 80s and 90's.
Oh yea!!! Lol
I’m 48 in September. I agree 100% about the 80s and 90s
90’s was it for me.
How can ANYONE be more chilled
than ever with the deliberate fear-mongering & applied psychological warfare being applied by our government(s) to promote the faux-vid psy-op? "It pulls the muzzle o'er the chin, or else it gets the hose again!".
Stick around, you'll get to miss a lot more decades...if you're lucky!
43 and in the absolute best shape and health of my life!
Whats ur exact location miss. We need to mate
Wow, really?
@@DarkoFitCoach Mating with a woman at 43 is ill-advised my friend.
Same here.Especially since starting Intermittent Fasting.
@@Kuroganemk2 i meant more plowing ballsdeep and then discarding and youtubing on my phone in my own house
Hey here i'm finding myself 2 months into my forty! I'm glad i'm stumbled upon this lecture. I had my worst anxiety moments 5 years ago and now feeling better. Gotta keep the optimism!
Life begins when you understand the value of your life, who you are, your purpose, then make introspective and relationship adjustments. This usually happens around 40.
Life begins every morning
Yes it does brother..💪🏾💯
Spot on, as long as we have breath in us, it's always a new day, filled with opportunities to take a shot at life :)
your indoctrinated life reboots every morning...
Yes 🙏
Beautiful.
I’m 45 years old, failed in business but optimistic. Last week one of my uncles passed away because of some disease. I attended his funeral last Sunday. He was a multimillionaire. But nothing he could bring with him. Just cherish your family members and true friends in your life because you don’t know when and how you leave the world……
@Apstore Login whoever informed you, or whatever experiment you tried to reach the determination that pain killers don't work....is false. Very false. Pain killers work when applied correctly. I'm 44, wanted to leave this world, and pain pills was going to be the way. They worked. It was bliss. Then I woke up. FML
It is never the intentions of making a ton of money to take it with you. It's only to continue to provide for the family when you're gone.
Sour graping, yeah
This is good advice, otherwise I found the professors lecturer quite boring and not intellectually stimulating either.
A really beautifull entry of which the contents is soberingly true. Thank you Mr Young.
I’m 60 and 40 seems so young. I became a lawyer at 42. I’m still working and enjoying it. I take good care of my health and truly that is key to aging well and gracefully.
In my mid-40s, The biggest gift of being in 40s is Im very clear of what I need and want. There are no more anxieties. Its like semi-nirvana achieved
70 is the new 40. I quit cable TV 5 years ago because of all the negativity on news/politics and meaningless content on TV shows. I've discovered programs like this one on the internet and love to learn and listen to intelligent people share their thoughts. It's like going to college learning something new everyday. I feel sorry for those still addicted to TV. We must evolve to be a better informed electorate for a better social contract.
Yeah my parents if they aren't doing chores are glued to the television 24/7.
Cable tv is absolute rubbish! Additionally cable companies have the nerve to keep adding in more commercials and cutting out more of the actual show content in order to fit them in and still charge us too much to watch these highly "cropped" programs! Cable companies are double dipping....they are just as bad as the banks....they are gaining revenue from cable subscribers who are then forced to pay to watch the commercials from advertisers who have also paid the cable companies to run their ads.
If you truly want to evolve,, you need to drop all this nonsense! There is no beginning ! And henceforth, no ending ! Birth and death are simply notions ! When the physical body falls apart and dies, whatever sustained it (energy), continues on. Energy can neither be created nor destroyed! Your physical body is transformed into something else. The person you call “you” (the me, the I ) ,, doesn’t truly exist. The statement “ I am “ is nonsensical.
At UA-cam, I decide the content. Sorry dear TV.....
I have been over cable ever since we first got a smart TV. I also don't watch the news because it's usually only bad. I don't miss it the TV that is. I never watched the news.
At 46, I’ve recently come out the other side of my mid life crisis. My angst had less to do with fearing death and more about being angry with myself for not achieving more. This is until I realized that no one else is watching my progress, and even if they were, it doesn’t matter. This freed me to appreciate the lasting blessings in my life like the family I invested a lot of my time in. My home, husband and kids. I’ve got nothing to prove or complain about and everything to be thankful for, plus, it’s not over yet... I’m much more chilled now and ready to enjoy whatever life has left for me. Aging can be liberating in that way.
i think you just did a better analysis of this subject than the RS speaker!
Very well said.
I agree with every word you just said.
Young people are constantly bombarded with well-intentioned themes of "Be a history-maker! Change the world! Follow your dreams!"
Then when the reality of life comes, everyone feels like they aren't living up to their potential because they aren't presidents and rock stars.
Having a regular life, a regular job, and a regular family IS a success.
I just realized this at 45.
thank you for this.
I found that a hindsight crisis I had at the age of 30 or so to be more difficult than a mid life crisis I never had. Here I sit at 49. Life is grand.
Really appreciate his opening remarks, "These together are the why and the how of my life"
"Most die at twenty-five, but are not buried til they're seventy-five". Benjamin Franklin
Wow. I never heard that. Just wrote a comment here on this video:
"Just turned 40
Been dead for 15 years
Awaiting the dark"
Benjamin was so right. At least in my case
Thanx
@@emilcioran8873 thank you. I was dead for many years. I've now come to life, and it sure feels good. A few years back I saw graffiti on a London wall which read.. "where there is love there is life". Never forgot that one. I also have nothing whatsoever to do with mainstream media, tvs and newspaper. Nothing. This is a great blessing. And only have a couple of close friends. I read Shakespeare and listen to beethoven, and write poetry. It's another universe. An infinitely better one. I like your title emil cioran. Only discovered him recently. But I do prefer Nietzsche. Kind regards, Noel 🌹
@Hinami "To live is the rarest thing of all, most just exist". Oscar Wilde 🦋
Thanks for that. Benjamin Franklin was an amazing polymath.
Yes
I'm 40 and I'm the happiest I have been and I know there is lots more to come. I am thankful everyday. I love my life.
I’m turning 30 this year and your words give me encouragement. I have always feared getting older.
@@BManStan1991 we should fear not growing. I feared becoming boring and bitter when i was little because thats what i mainly saw but it caused me to have more of a dialog with my conscience at a young age so for that i am thankful 🤗
@@briananderson1246 true. What I am afriad of is becoming weaker, duller, meaner and boring in actuality, not being an older age. Thank you for the wisdom.
Beautiful, I'll be 41 tomorrow and really don't give a damn because I'm really, really happy. When you are really happy, I'm talking tears of joy happiness the first thing that goes is age. I literally don't even think about age anymore. I was more concerned about age when I was younger.
@@BManStan1991 I will be 40 this year and I would hate to be 30 again. Don’t worry it gets better 🤗
This lecture is like a metaphor for life itself: It built up into something really interesting and then as I was really beginning to enjoy it, it ended.
Every summer and every winter is like that too.
This was a very insightful session.
I searched a lot of videos on mid life crises but this is the best informational video I found.
Thankyou for the departed knowledge. 🙏🏻
I tend to agree with Jung that the first forty years of life are just research. After that is when you start more specifically putting into action what you learned. It’s a much more empowering way of thinking about the age 40.
I turned 40 last month and this is EXACTLY how I feel!
My doctor told me the same. Research, listen, learn, change. Depression lifted a great deal after a good move to a healthier environment. I'm so thankful for therapy and meds thru my 30s. Today I like or admire the aging process and the science of it. The art of how we age helps following generations.
I am 32 and I am about at the "research" phase. I love it, it does require focus and goal-oriented behavior. Priorities tend to decorrelate day to day, so journaling and reviewing become essential to make progress.
@@jamesboulger8705 yes🙏😌
Our life is the best lesson to learn
When I was 20s , people told me life began in 30s. Now I am in 30s, you tell me life begins in 40s. Life never begins and never ends
Well, the life begins when you are born but you actually have no memories younger than 4,5 years old, life ends when you die, but many of us when dying, don't even realize, only those that commit suicide realize it.
Life begins after death bruh
@@nustaimo6755 How do you know that ?
@@gigislove3582 “you have to die a few times before you can really live” ~Charles Bukowski
@@nustaimo6755 😂
As I get older, I realised that the lesser friends you have, the better and quality is better than quantity. Also it opens up my eye to know what’s really right for me and who truly care for me and what is most important to me.
My mother always say“ It gets greater later”! I now understand what she’s talking about!
I’m 42 and life is GRAND !!😊
I'm 35 and I feel my entire life has been a midlife crisis.
Insecure jobs, debt and rapidly declining expectations of prosperity after the 2008 meltdown has made our entire generation wonder if life actually begins at all.
Wow man, I feel exactly the same thing. Im 34. Crazy.
Same. And I’m almost forty with three kids.
Graduating in 2008 was a deep pit to climb out of for sure, bunch of odd jobs for 10 consecutive years.
I feel you - 36, single (once married), unemployed (working as a freelancer), I've owned a business, lived a life but I feel that I've been going through a ten-year midlife crisis...
Same age, same thoughts!
To everyone who is experiencing a difficult situation:
To shoot an arrow you have to pull it backwards. So when life drags you back with some troubles, it means it's going to launch into something better.
I really hope you're right about that
That SOUNDS 👂🏽 beautiful; an elegant platitude . . . but whether or not it's true . . . 😒🤷🏾♂️
Thank you!
@@sarahmayarenas9730 🙏🙏
Love that metaphor
I think my son had his midlife crisis at 13. It was dark and scary for both of us. But he came out of it with realizations that I didn't have until my early 40's. He lives life on his own terms. He bucks the "system". He's now a successful entrepreneur at age 17, with a girlfriend who has a similar mindset. They don't care what anyone thinks about their paths. While others look down their noses at them, at me for " allowing it", I couldn't be more proud.
He hasnt hit midlife, therefore it's not a midlife crisis.
Let's call that an awakening or a realization. Let's hope he lives 200 years and his midlife crisis is at 100 years old!
Dude stfu..if you are 17 your brain isn't developed yet. Your kid was just Wilding out. He hasn't suffered enough. And if he has then it's not more than his age group. Don't put ur son on a pedestal.
Gen Z 🤮
Yeah, midlife crisis at 13.
He was asked to take out the trash. He refused. His phone was taken away, so he had a nervous breakdown. After being grounded from his phone for five terrifying minutes, he became a content creator and he and his 17 year old girlfriend couldn’t care less what everyone thinks.
Due to social anxiety, I completely (COMPLETELY) missed out on the teenage years and younger 20’s. At around 23, I got trapped in an abusive relationship - when I FINALLY had the chance to be my true self, she came and cancelled those plans
At about 25, I escaped, but ALL OF MY “friends” told me it was too late, I was too old. Even MULTIPLE counselors told me “no, no more play. No more fun in your definition. You need to get married. You have to. Can’t escape it. And have children. And focus on career. Those are your goals”
.
I was so depressed….but now? I finally had the courage to GO WITH MY GUT!!! And not listen to “the right thing to do.” I’m young at heart, and won’t let anybody tell me what to do, so long as I don’t harm anybody
you will be rewarded
I'm 35 and I only just now realized I need to hurry the f*ck up with finding a partner and having children.
I have no job, zero experience with dating, no friends, yet I do have two sellable skills thus plenty career options.
What age are you and what exactly did "going with your gut" bring you?
Is it and has it been everything you will ever want out of life?
@@SuspiriaX well… I have zero interest in having children, and don’t really care to get married, so…I feel less rushed, no longer having the pressure to “try to get it out of my system before marriage.” And I’m doing better with career now than I was when I felt like I “had to work hard for the sake of working hard”
Life begins when u find urself..it doesn't matter at what age.
@@Dajjalee 23 as well just watching this and making sure I don't end up like the people he talks about in the vid
Life is life, song title
Yes, yes, yes....
@@theinte11igent1 24 myself lol
Agreed. Still, it does seem to happen later in life.. as if there’s a requirement for more ‘testing’ ..?
I mean a response at 20 is rarely replicated at 50. Just because you’ve lived long enough to LEARN MORE about yourself- and it doesn’t stand still.. 👍
I'm 38. As a teen I looked forward to my twenties. In my twenties, I looked forward to my 30's because I felt like I could be more myself. Now I look forward to my 40's. I have never hidden my age. I am always reinventing myself, but true to my core. The older I get, the less I have tried to fit the box others try to put me in and the more I just do as I please. I'm going to be a very ornery old lady...and I will love that too.
And at 38, i have long lost both parents, most of my family, my kids are nearly grown and I am divorced. I don't want to go back to my maiden name, i don't want to keep my married name. This year I am changing my legal last name to something completely my own. It symbolic of my new self. This is a great time in life. Enjoy it and do whatever the hell you want!
I just turned 31, no kids, never divorced, and am not married to my long time partner. That said, I’ll also be changing my legal surname to something of my own choosing this year. I do not want my family’s name, my father’s name, or my partners name. I initially wanted to do it as a teenager, and despite all the growth and change and departure from so much bullshit, that desire for a symbolically new me in the form of my own name has never subsided. So I’m right there with you.
😊
Oh, I love this idea! I was also once thinking about it. It’s not that difficult, is it?
That's so cool!
May the most High guide us towards the straight path.
Life begins at 40, the main content begins at @4:00
26yrs old and am extremely grateful to have come across this wisdom 🙏
As a 40 year old, I agree. From birth to present I was being fashioned to play my role. Now I am fulfilling my purpose: an endurance race.
100% same here
Did you watch the video? The presenter is questioning the premise that "life begins at 40", he is not defending it.
This lecture makes a world of sense... I just turned 40 & I'm about to quit my job of 16 yrs & start working for myself.... what's the worst that can happen. Me getting a better paying job if all else fails... I have a burning desire to change my life
Wishing you luck in your new endeavor.
I can relate. I had worked at a company for 14 years and didn't leave for a long time due to fear of change and the unknown. Finally, 8 years ago I left and it was a great decision. I should've left 8 years before I eventually did. Anyway, I feel I'm on a much better path now.
How's it going, two years on?
@@mistercuttslol I’m wondering the same thing. This life in your 40s sucks! Arrgh
Did you change it!? How’s it going so far?
Thank you so much for sharing this incredible presentation! It helps a lot with understanding our human nature 😊
What a wonderful captivating speaker. This should be mandatory watching for everyone turning 40.
i am gobsmacked at the amount of energy i gave to worrying over the years. no more, from now on, i wont even let death phase me.
🥂❤️🙏
It is truly rejuvenating when you learn to let the worry go and start living your life. Amazing.
I'm 44, and I am thankful to be here.✨
No doubt, Inner-city.
I'm 39+ and a hetro sexual unmarried woman listening from Sri Lanka. I am not worried about my biological clock ticking although in my culture and society people ask all sorts of questions why a woman is single at my age. It's easier for me I think because my biological parents and sibling have accepted me for who I am. I no longer worry about what people think about me and definitely not worried about convincing others about who I am and don't try to please others anymore. I no longer look for others to make me feel happy about my self. However, I try to empathise and support people who go through mid life crisis to love themselves more because it brings a sense of purpose to my life too.
hope you find someone who makes you feel better
Did you decide you don't want kids or do you do want them but decided that worrying isn't really going to help with that anyway?
Thank you to everyone in the comment section. I haven’t even started watching this video yet & I’m already feeling more positive & appreciating all of your wisdom ❤
STOP CONSUMING MEDIA.
Stop choosing sides..
Life is RIGHT NOW.
RIGHT IN FRONT OF US.
Don't let the distractions of Politics & the Media define us of who We are.
💯
I AMMMMMMMMM BIGGUS DICKUS! ADMIRAL OF THE FOOL'S NAVY!
In dat order period
How do you know if Life is real or not?
As if you can resist a good political spin
My forties were no crisis!
Most productive time of my life!
Where you stop giving two Fs about society’s expectations...
Dose that apply to men only or women as well?
@@Melly16yr10 I don’t see why not. It’s up to the individual…
Thank you for this, I heard this before that life begins at 40, I also heard before that men reach mental maturity and stop being confused at 40, life is about finding out who you are, what your good at, and what you love in life, life is about setting healthy boundaries and saying No to many different things and people to say Yes to a few good ones, Life is about avoiding and preventing Drama and Conflict and loving and respecting yourself and others, Life is about helping yourself, doing the right thing, helping others, and having a purpose if you can, Life is Amazing and it gets better with Age and you figure alot of things out when you get older, some things in life are more relative but other things are more absolute, aging, growing up, developing becoming mature, learning and becoming wise is one of those things thats more absolute and correlates with age and physical / mental / emotional development, you don't know what you don't know in life and people should listen to their family and friends but also think for themselves and make their own judgements and decisions and do what they love in Life, some people say 18 or 25 is a great age but I always thought 40 is a good and beautiful age and I can't wait to get there one day ( 27 now as of June 2023 ) Thank You everyone
Morpheus:
What if I told you life begins the day you’re born. Not what someone on the internet told you YOUR life should begin.
Mid-life crisis is waking up the reality of life. It's disenchantment, it's weariness... It's understanding we've fooled ourselves with the collective mirages and lies.
As a 43yo, I pity you. That you've allowed yourself to become so nihilistic. Granted, I don't know your path. But that's not a good way to live.
I am 23 and going through the worst crisis ever. It may seem bizzare to you folks I ended up here, but I feel exactly how 40-somethings describe. Just that I still didnt go through all the BS like failed marriage and career one didnt want in the 1st place. It just hit me 20 years earlier. Maybe its for the best.
Since I dropped out of University at 19-20 I worked a few jobs where I mostly hung out with people in their late 30s to 40s, and realized that we are mostly the same. Those were men, some with wives and kids, some without, but in the end men who werent really content with their lives and I actually saw myself in them even though they were older ; still yearning for all kinds of different experience but stuck where they are, especially those who had families.
30-somethings... I was astonished when I realized how we're are not that much different. Only they had more experience in certain areas so they could offer advice. But basically I saw no major difference between them and myself. Both them and myself would crack jokes about funny looking people who would visit our store, both them and myself would turn adound to look at that hot girl that just passed by...I realized this is it, this is where I am now and its the best it is ever going to be. So make the most out of it, why wait for physical deterioration.
This, aside from casually watching American sitcoms as a teen, made me realize I dont want the so-called ordinary life. It makes me depressed thinking about it.
So yeah, while i technicallt didnt start "dying" yet, I feel my youth slipping away...big time. And I know the 2nd best time (best time was when I was 21) to do the things I want to do is now, no more postponing.
I nearly died of severe infection a year and a half ago...I see no more reason to postpone anything.
Time we have is so limited. I was 18 just last week, a young man, on the beginning of a journey.
Wake the f up folks. Why wait until we start physically deteriorating??
I understand if your goal is to see your grandkids then you should try to keep yourself alive until old age, but if that is not your goal...what is the point? We aint getting out of this game alive anyway.
In the end, if I manage to do everything I want to do in the next 10 years and then pass away, is that worse than doing a mere quarter of that but living another 40 years?
I remember few years ago I had a surgical procedure done. I vividly remember old folks (roughly 70s I would say) who just had a stroke lying there on their beds right there at the hospital admission (state owned hospital yay). I was absolutely horrified by it and said under no circumstances will I ever end up in this situation.
Look at it this way life seems like an ever-changing present moment...until its not anymore. So obviously the purpose of life is the experience itself. In the here and now. Or at the very most planning for a future here and now to be spectacular, so that you can experience it.
One day it will be lights out...memories wont be there anymore, so really its the present moment that counts. There will be absolutely nothing left. We are going back to where we were before we were born. Is that nothing? Cant be. We were "nothing" for the eternity before we were born, yet we are here. Will it happen again? Why not, if it already did? The eternal "self" , the observer, goes on, as the forms through which it can experience itself (the Universe) are plentiful. But it will be a completely different perspective, totally unrelated, thats for sure. Hence this perspective we got right now is unique, gotta make the most out of it.
How ever bad it may seem, i certainly am not looking forward to an experience of a pig in a slaughterhouse. What we got going right now is pretty "high level" I would say.
Too much rambling. I hope at least some of it may be of interest to you guys. Cant sleep anyway.
@@f4ucorsair153 yeah man get after it.
@@RTWGraphics Don't be so judgmental. Why don't you take a good look at your own life, i bet your problems are there, you just choose to be asleep.
@@vangielee7929 Of course I have problems. I'm just not a negative Nancy like the OP or you apparently.
My experience is do meditation and also find an exercise pattern and push yourself, and then you will find direction and purpose suddenly. Don’t overthink your happiness and purpose. I’m 44 and I find myself changing from the crisis to fulfilment through this method.
Yeah, i do support meditation too to find out who you are, specially meditation into spirits realm.
I'm also 44 and I'm just starting to do this 🙏
I am in eternal crisis.
Hope meditation will do something.
@@shibu.matrix it will
@@neil_spirits2072 any books or video on this subject?
Life starts at 40, absolutely agree! Because you wake up, you are aware of who you really are, what matters to you, who cares and who don't and the most important thing, what you makes you happy and shape your path in life. You are most free than ever and you have yourself!! How important is that? This is the key for succeed!
What a superb lecture! Now I can rationalise why I often need to pause when people ask for my age. Usually I have to make a mental calculation before I can tell them I am 56. To me, my age is just not important. It is like what the professor alluded to, sometimes we calibrate our lives not based on age but on the milestones in our lives. I have been busy raising my family and did not have the time for any mid-life crisis. Now that my youngest has left home, I am fully aware that I am entering a new phase of life. Uphill or downhill - it’s my choice. Though I have always been pretty introspective, I am glad the lecture has given me a greater perspective of the state I am going through. I don’t call it a mid-life crisis. More a point of inflexion, where we slow down, take stock before we continue life’s journey.
YOU PAUSE WHEN PEOPLE ASK YOUR AGE BECAUSE YOU"RE THINKING HOW IGNORANT THEY ARE TO DARE ASK! It's NON OF THEIR BUSINESS. IT IS USED TO SIZE YOU UP - PUT YOUR DOWN (in some cases). Or else you would feel safe to answer..
I had a crisis at my 40th birthday
No life, no real friends, no relationship present or past, realised it's too late to get married and have kids, pathetic useless job that made me miserable, didn't know what I wanted to do, not even relatives actually cared, waiting to grow old and die alone. Ended up on drugs. Things got even worse on drugs but it woke me up and things started to change for the better
Skipping a long story and how I got better, I now do whatever I want and I have rejected the convention life
@@mug8865 I did swing to and fro between blaming others and blaming myself or just blaming circumstances. Nowadays I don't blame anyone, all I know is that I didn't have what I needed for well being for a long time and this happens to millions of people.
Shit just happens, but a lot of people will not accept this truth because its too scary and unpredictable and smashes their illusion of complete control. Until you "wake up" your screwed, and if you don't get what you need in order to wake up, your screwed
Another way of putting it is you need to know yourself, and un til then your screwed
Its better to live than exist. Glad to hear you are now living. There is so much you can achieve from now onwards just enjoy each day. Find a hobby or something you are passionate about and try to be the best that you can at it....oh yeah on the bad days just be grateful that you have made it this far in life because there are many children that do not see adulthood.
@@mug8865 I'm glad life has improved for you and that you are trying to be a better person thats what its about m8. keep your head up.
@@streetfashiontv9149 When I realised I was better off dead than just living the same way against my will, that was a catalyst for change.
Build wealth, work on your fitness, become red pulled and get out there John!!!!
You got this get yourself a pretty 30 yr old
I am 43 but feel like 25 in energy terms. Good food, excersise, rest, no drugs and you will be fine. Of course God in your heart.
Yeah sure you do!
For a reality check, ask a 25 year old if they think that when they see you.
Agreed!
I am 43 too and I feel younger and more energetic than when I was in my 30s
Why add “god in our heart”? Many are far happier shedding that particular myth along with all its baggage.
Let me just leave this here for my future self that I'm 29 and can already relate with all that was discussed. 11 years to go!! ✊🏼
I had my midlife crisis at 29 and hit the reset button on everything I worked for during my 20’s. I feel like I entered retirement at 30 and I haven’t really aged during my 30’s … still look early 20’s-
I'm 41 and from the age of 30 I went to back school 3 times. It's been a lot of hard work because I was dealing with my alcoholism at the same time. Now I have a great job and actually like going into work. Everything is a mental battle and it's hard to push through but it just makes you stronger and more confident.
Congratulations on taking the reins of your life and getting a job you enjoy doing! 👏
I am proud of you 👌🏾❤
So fucking happy for you !
Congrats Dirk!
I know how you feel to be an alcoholic. You did a great job!
Keep the good work!
All the best!
I’m going back to school aged 40. Studying new things and changing my life
For women, post 40 we lose interest in what society thinks of us and start enjoying who we actually are. I love my 40s and look forward to being a lovely old cat lady someday.
I though it was that for women post 40, society no longer thinks of you at all.
@@MM12684 That's rude
I am 32 I want to be lovely cat lady now...I don't have nothing but I want to be get cat next year when I get place to live myself
@still_here...I love it!!!!!
I'm 29 and I AM the lovely cat lady NOW! I have 10 cats, 4 adopted and six who just joined the club and I kept them 😁😁😁🥰🥰🥰👍 just be yourself ❤
Stop counting your years. Just make the most of each day you have on earth😊
Exactly... that's how the wise think
Life begins at 40….I’m 40 and I’m done with Life🥺 I’ve experienced so much evilness in this world I just want to hide from everyone and shut myself from this cruel world.
what you see as evil is just jaded people who've been through bad experiences protecting themselves from another one. People are inherently good but age / experiences make them cynical. Don't lose hope, there's lots to live for! :)
You're not alone
Life has peaks and valleys
Find the balance
Find your peace
Look within and help others
I'm a social worker and I find that my remedy lies in helping others
It's my purpose
They say there are two important days in life
The day we're born and the day we understand why
Wishing you strength and peace
Every decade of my life has been a crisis. It's just that this one has a name.
Hahahah love and relate to this comment 😘
Well said!
Meanwhile I'm in my 60s and still waiting on a "crisis filled" decade...it hasn't happened yet!
I'm a father, farmer, and contractor and apparently I've been too busy to worry about this stuff. I'm weatherbeaten, dirty half the time and exhausted the rest...I like it. Turn off your phone and go for a run.
But how can I track my run distance with my phone if it's off... Haha
I love your comment.Thank you for speaking sense!
I'm childfree by choice, making art and loving life, - I like it! ^_^
You've actually lived. The people who get a mid-life crisis are people who haven't fully lived yet because they've been on the hamster wheel of societal expectation.
Your comment reminded me of that old dude who lives alone on an island in south america. Grows his own food, takes care of his own cattle, brews his own beer, freezes his ass off during winter, yet one of the happiest and serene people I've seen. He still reads the news and is even aware of the latest discovered exoplanets and shit.
This video popped up in my YT feed just a couple of days before my 40th birthday. Damn, thank you, Google for taking care of me.
I'm 44 and find myself thinking "Is this it?" Mind you, I'm established and successful. I've had travels and adventures in the military, started a family and have children, bought a house, completed a BS and MBA, started a career and I'm currently smack in the middle of middle management. I have a little autonomy, I'm compensated well, and I'm bored to tears.
I get a few hours a day where I'm not beholden to some responsibility to someone. I get an hour or so in the morning to exercise... I get an hour or so at night... And, a few minutes before I fall asleep.
Recently, I've found myself wandering the streets of my city before I go to the office... No particular path, just walking streets aimlessly.
I realize now that the first 40 years of my life were spent getting my bearings so to speak
Just turned 40 today and over the last few months have figured out that I've been living how others have told me. I'm in the process of fixing all of this.
Belated 40th birthday. I have been doing the same. Will be 40 soon.
"midlife crisis" , seems to me happens to those who live someone else's life rather their own ... Ones who totally lost track of their individuality and who they really wanted to become rather than what society expected from them ..
Life I think begins when ur "free" of all insecurities, jealousies, comparisons, need for approval and attention, letting go of being materialistic and pretentious, arrogant , ignorant, stop seeking identity from things you own or what you do for a living etc
It's like taking flight, once you get rid of all the garbage that's holding you down you can transform from being a "caterpillar", living at the bottom in the dark and dirt and become like a "butterfly" and start living free of all the BS , seeking happiness outside of self rather than within is a mistake!
Best to all ❤️🙏
Probably the best comment here. Thanks. Life begins when we find and nurture our true selves. Life begins when we remove all narcissistic voices(from individual, society etc.) from our head and start following our own voice.
@@sharif50077 oh wow thank you for this wonderful comment , it's rare in this day and age especially on social media. Much appreciated.
I think you said it much better than me , more to the point and simple , which is best and more easily understood and takes less time ..
Iv always had a problem with simplifying my words. Perhaps one of the reasons, besides not knowing the technique, is that language often creats misunderstandings ! So I always feel I have to keep explaining etc
Thanks again you made my day ur energy came right through. I hope the people around you recognize and appreciate what a wonderful human being they associate with.
Many blessings laughter and joy to you and all your loved ones
🙏✌️🌹
@@kakooly We need explanation that you described, you explained it well and thanks again for that. You have a great understanding of life. Your explanation just resonated with what I have learned from lectures of Professor Sam Vaknin in youtube on narcissism and narcissistic abuse.
Have a wonderful, happy and healthy day. 🙏
@@sharif50077 thank you sir much appreciated 🙏🌹
I am in Erik Ericksons last stage of life....Generativity.. And it is glorious I feel very fulfilled by my life. At age 30 I thought I was old...at 74 I have everything and everyone one in my life I always wanted...what I strove for...what I sacrificed for...I have been reaping the rewards since 50...I have done alot of work on myself...I have lived an examined life all the way through...I acheived SO MUCH more than I could ever have neñeived possibñe from where I started...careerwise but more importantly in my relationship.with my self and those I love.
Sybil Francis PhD clinical and developemental psychologist, researcher and professor since 1979
I went though hell and back. That was a crisis on its own. Surprisingly , the life after crisis turned out to be a lot brighter! We may be slightly damaged after the crisis. But that experience makes us brave, open for challenges, fearless, excitable and appreciative. Hugs to all people currently going through a bad time. 🤗
Virtual hugs being sent from Mississippi.
I restart my study at age of 40 after 20 years pause. Currently I am studying Msc in Advanced Accounting. I am enjoying studying every opportunity. I have also full-fledged family. Indeed life at 40 is so blessed.
Thanks for this. I'm 40 and making big changes in my life. Nice to maybe slow down a bit and enjoy myself more, rather than putting pressure on myself to try and be what my mind's 40 year old me is supposed to look like.
This guy presents so well. Respect
"disillusionment with work, disenchantment with relationships, detachment from family responsibilities, " - Bloody hell this describes my 20's.
😂😂
My 40’s 😣😢
Well hell, you're in for a real treat then.
lol
That was my 20's also, 20 years ago. In my 40s now and life is absolutely magical for me. I have accomplished everything I wanted. Much more than anyone I know and life is very easy and secure, because I was able to get through those feelings. I think all people should have the crisis in their 20s, but this society keeps people from maturing. Modern people remain children for far too long. Your best years are AFTER you conquer your existential crisis. So throw off everything that holds you. Cut yourself loose from false realities. Conquer the beast. Climb the mountain. Slay the dragon. Tell them to shove their rules up their asses. Live your life as you see fit. Heaven lies beyond.
I'm 32 and and honestly think I went through my midlife crisis from 28-31. This happened when I finished school (20's) and entered the corporate environment where I witnessed people who had been working in the same building for 35 years. This resulted in moving across the country, starting a new job, and funding a lot of creative hobbies with my day job.
That is not a midlife crisis, this is what I call comming down from your goals conclusion or lifes chapter conclusion. People can hit this plateau when planning weddings, birth of a child, a serious long term illness. I have been asked several times specifically when it comes to weddings for me, why am I depressed after my wedding, should be happy. My answer is its natural to feel "let down" it's a whirlwind of work and then nothing. I tell them plan your next small gathering to ease from the total withdrawal. This can apply to anything short term that takes alot of brain power and commitment and then suddenly ends. School can also for into this category especially when you finally arrive at your potential career, like you were saying. It's like reading a story book, and you've hit the end and unless it is a series collection, you need to open a new story to enjoy its content. Like the bride planning a small party to come down from wedding planning blues, you needed to find the next real job to come down from your college lifestyle.
I am 28 and have been feeling that, but only after I got married and joined a rather conservative church. All of sudden it was like my value was based on my ability to birth children and since I wasn't the blushing 22 year old bride people began to make comments and make me feel small for being the age I am. This talk is so good. It gave me comfort I hope it did for you too
It's called a quarter-life crisis
still more to come...it gets better ,too :)
In Astrology your Saturn return is at 29 but starts and ends the two years on either end. Saturn defines the structure of your life.
That was very nicely put, especially the conclusion was very convincing and fact-based as to what factors go in for any behavioural pattern prevalent in any era and how that might shape our Present!