I think the most depressing part of feeling like a failure is not not being where you want to be in life but feeling like there is no hope of ever getting there.
@@midsonshort Sometimes there's no hope. At 40, I would like to have kids, but I have done so many treaments, I have lost so much money, have being so depressed and physically drained. I just had to stop. Now I am trying to change my mind from being childless to being childfree...
You nailed it I never felt envy and regret until I hit 50 and lost my job since then I have been stuck financially then my wife died at 50 and that was the worst thing that ever happened to me I was broke at 30 but didn’t mind because time was on my side now my wife is gone my health is failing and I’m wondering how I will survive another 10 years I believe I the rapture so maybe I won’t have to worry about it
@@dogboy5398 There are cases though where everything goes pretty much smooth, except for some minor insecurities probably. It's called luck. It's accepting that there will most likely always be someone with more materialistic things and who is also happy, but trying to be content with what YOU have. Because only from this peacefull state of contentment, posibilities will open for YOU.
@@dogboy5398 That's what i was also trying to say ;) But... this is easier said than done because of the programs in our brain. That knowledge about what you say has to become a feeling in order for it to become a wisdom. It can take years of practice.
For me Envy is 20% but regret is a lot more... God gave me chances to move up in life. And i felt I was moving ahead with all those fancy parties and travel for work but at one point i blew those chances due to professional issues. Some were blown by Covid. Now i am stuck with a mediocre job lost my professional contacts and out of the industry i loved the most and unable to find a way back in... Envious to see my colleagues travel, fancy dinners, meetings and here i am liking their posts behind a laptop....
@@kunalarora18I understand, but your attitude is inflicting misery and pain on you, you lose dignity and aren’t moving in a good direction while thinking like that. But you can choose how you look at things and flip it around. If you look at the half-full glass, treat yourself nicely and live your life as joyfully as you can, without comparing yourself to others on social media etc., things will get better. And all what matters is your state of mind, the rest is not that important, because it follows and reflects it (even if slowly or modestly in some aspects). I hope you see what I mean. I’m basically in the same kind of situation where I’d feel like shit compared to people around me, and it requires me a constant effort not to fall (back) in that looser mindset, but it works and is really worth it. To the point where I can see and feel and experience some things which are great and wouldn’t be possible at all with the looser mindset. Hope you’ll get something out of this.
at 42 I don't have what my mates have... no career, unemployed, no family of my own, no kids, no partner, stuck as a caregiver for my disabled brother and sickly mother... but I look like I'm in my 20's, my health is great, and I'm not overweight. Unlike many of my peers, I'm not monitoring my blood pressure... so I'm okay with that trade off 🎉
Its crazy, my bf who is 43 came to me one night after coming home from work and said to me "babe you shouldnt be with me. I have nothing." But i see his decently working car and job and his adorable cat and loving family. I told him "what are you talking about? You have everything and more from what i can see!" The truth is he is super insecure being his age, not being married or "making enough money", not having a house yet, etc etc. While i totally empathize with his worries, it pains me that he would feel so low about it to the point of telling me i shouldnt be with him, even if he was half joking 💔
There is something significant about reaching your 40s and not feeling like you're in a good place. I think before I hit 40 I felt like there was still time to turn it around. Hitting 40 is like "shit, I'm probably halfway through and I still haven't got anywhere"
I kind of feel the same way. But the other day, I suddenly saw it differently. How about this: at 40 you've "only" been an adult for 19 years. If you live to 80, you still have 40 adult years ahead of you, that's twice the amount you've had! And if you suddenly turned into a newborn baby right now, just imagine what life experiences would be ahead of you to take you from baby to 40. You still have that SAME time, except you won't have to be half-conscious in diapers first! (You may just end like that, whaha.) Okay, maybe this all sounds super weird, but maybe it helps. Cheers.
I agree! I am not where I want to be at 40, but thank goodness I started to implement where I wanted to be before 40. Even so, at 40+ you still have time to do it. It's just more apparant the significance of time.
I'm 40, I live with my ex-girlfriend, i have a crap retail job like a teenager, and haven't completed anything in my life. nothing in my past makes sense - lots of avenues explored. no cohesive identity. I feel empty.
That's tough brother. If you can, move to a different house. I've lived in kitchen cuboards of crazy catladies until well in my 30s, but not having an ex-gf in my space made it quite alright.
The way I see it, by the time you’re 40 nobody around you really cares what you’re doing anyway, and it’s an opportunity to just let go and not take life too seriously anymore.
It's definitely tough at times - especially over the past year or so. But there are others out there who will support you if you reach out. Hang in there my friend, and remember that life has a way of turning around.
Did this for 13 years on and off and finally stopped got help and started to accept and change. I feel better not living in a fairy tale escape trap...the inevitable comes whether sober or not.
The only reason I’m not where I should be at 36 is because I was an alcoholic and wasted a decade of my life. After 4 years sober I’m where I should have been at 25
Thank you so much for this. I am 45 and very ashamed to disclose that I am unemployed. Have never felt so useless and pressured in my life. Honestly, the closest I felt with anyone recently is you. I am so thankful for discovering your channel. I really am. Thank you!
Thank you for sharing, I can only imagine how difficult it must be for you right now. Hang in there and know that better times are coming for you. It’s always darkest before the dawn. And at the very least know that many people out there have been in a similar situation (me included) and come through it. 🙏🏻
Love and light George 💖 their are more of us out there than you realise but it can be a lonely place.Ive found some of my tribe in recent years ..to the outside I look like I have great life,beautiful home,idyllic location but for me love and peace of mind are the most important things I'm striving for now it's seems like it's really what most important and hardest to find in your 40's ...🙏🌄💞🌠
Thanks for this. I quit my corporate life at 42 due to stress. This was followed by divorce, bankruptcy and moving from a 3 bed house to a box room in a little old ladies house so I could retrain as an actor. I'm now 50 (tomorrow), still renting a room and have multiple jobs (due to ADHD). I've done multiple small gigs on TV, Film etc none of which have lead to anything big tho. Feels like I'm getting nowhere and my ADHD is crippling my mind. I've considered quitting acting to get a "normal" job but I have suffer so much to get here I can't stand the thought of quitting now.
If you think you feel bad at 40, try 50. I've finally started doing the inner work I should've done decades ago. Just getting started taking the steps, but they're working. I'm more honest with myself now. I'm more patient and compassionate with others. It's scary in terms of how much time do I have left? I can't control that, but I'm not going to stop just because I feel fear about it. I want this for me to make my life better and to enjoy my life more. My joy in my life affects people around me. Self love is the hardest thing to learn after a lifetime of self hatred. It matters because I matter. I want to impact my corner of the world as much as possible. Now I actually can.
This is so beautiful I am now finally learning to understand what Self Love is I have been doing the inner work these last 3 years and have basically unearthed a can of worms in my family which has completely sent me back to feeling worthless again
You're not alone. I'm 27 after having a quarterlife crisis, identity crisis, existential crisis. I'm realizing too people in age 40-60 are feeling lost and behind too. They just hide it better. You're not alone.
turning 40 in 3 years and i really screwup and didn't meet my expectation. even though i have graduate degree and a job that is okay. No family, no travel . Had to understand where things go wrong. I wish i had a better family advice.
I’m 37yrs old with a masters degree, great body, excellent health, can provide basic needs but don’t have much physical cash. My friends have homes, lots of money, great careers, nice cars etc. Despite it all, I’m wayyyyy happier. The money will come. I’m not in any rush and have never been hard on myself. I just don’t focus on what others are doing or achieved. It’s ME and the world. My time will come. Great video!!!!
Dude, I’ve failed repeatedly in life!! The $hit hurt my soul during those times when I took a chance and failed miserably. However I will say it’s true what the most successful people say, “you will fail 99 times before you succeed just once” more or less. Now lifes getting really good but the road was covered in broken glass and snakes most of the times. The key is to keep pushing yourself, find that drive to keep you going when the light at the end of the tunnel is barely a spark on the horizon.
I feel the issue has to do with the society we live in. As an African adult, growing up as an only child, i have been pressured into being "better" than my parents. It's difficult particularly because my parents are some are doing particularly well according to the standards of society. But I want a much simpler life away from the city. So growing up in such an environment the people around me. Like I have been literally dragged to another country in the name of going to one of the best universities in the world. Which frankly wasn't even about me, it's like they just wanted to tell people I went abroad at a fancy school. But things happened and the school sold it's campus and I did well like I did not struggle academically, I qualified to get a scholarship but my parents didn't want me moving further away and I was cool with attending a local school. But the eye opener for me was when I sat down to ask myself what I really wanted and who am I living for. I'm not trying to demonize my parents but I realized i had no control of my choices and everything was just dictated by them. So I decided to drop out of university. And just rebel 😗😗😅 I mean I would rather fail with something I want than fail at someone else's decision for me. I'm 20 by the way.
My point is feeling good all of the sudden would be nice but a lot in society brings us well maybe just me down. Especially when you have verbally abusive parents or when everyone around you expects too much from you
I lost my belief in my religion at 40 and dropped out of my doctoral program in New Testament after seventeen years of being a minister. I felt like I had wasted the first two decades of my adult life. I had no money, investments, or property, besides my old Toyota Corolla. I scrambled and started a software engineering degree at age 43 and got my first software engineering job at age 46. It was scary, but it was either that or go back to window cleaning. Today's sense of failure can lead to tomorrow's success.
Learning never stops is a cliché ... Many of us exist within rigid narratives and learn very little at a certain point in our lives. Look around and speak to people, where are the shining examples of "learning never stops". They exist, but are a minority in my view.
@@JB.zero.zero.1 I somewhat get what you mean but I meant learning never stops in the sense that, your perception of certain things in life or your life philosophy changes over time depending on who you encounter or the type of life events you experience. For instance, my parents taught me a way of life that I followed to tea. While some of the life advice has served me I realized at some point that I had to correct a lot of their way of thinking. And just when I think I have figured it out all , I come across something else I have to deal with in life, the lessons to me are truly never-ending.
@@JB.zero.zero.1Yes, that’s a certain reality, but those people are like dead inside. Those of us who manage to keep the flame lit learn everyday. Basically, it’s a choice and everyone technically has that possibility. Psychologically, it’s all but easy, though, but still… I’m 47 and I’d rather die than live with being mentally dead. So it’s vital to me to show up to life, including learning everyday (as a way of speaking, we obviously don’t learn something substantial 365 times a year 😛). I wish everyone had that understanding and that drive.
Try the 50s. We had a massive financial crash last year that has thrown us into debt (massively). Savings gone, debt-laden, and no clear way of getting out of the mess we have found ourselves in. I feel crushed. So yeah, it's a definite thing. Thanks for the video my friend.
Comparison is the thief of joy.. Be content.. wait until you have a divorce or a parental loss.. It divides a family who isn't or hasn't ever been close. It's depressing when you finally accept the reality of that. Most ppl are living in a lonliness epidemic.. It's interesting to me that we have so many ppl struggling
I'm 40. I've achieved very little. I'm enjoying the ride. I don't have time to waste on stupid shiite like regret, envy, low self ersteem, fear. Anyone who even implies I'm a looser gets sent to hell. I give negative Fs. Change my mind. I'm grateful I wake up happy, alive, healthy, have the basics and then some, have enthusiasm and fresh ideas. The most important thing is that I've resolved so much of my trauma originating from childhood. I feel like I'm light years ahead of people like this guy I've been dating who is 10 yr older, has millions, has kids from his marriage. He's so miserable with all this, zero trauma processed, health in shambles and can't enjoy what he's got. Many people I encounter who are like this. I see my life so far as me building a solid foundation. I'm grateful for that. I'm grateful for peace and no anxiety. I'm happy.
Hang in there my friend… the road ahead will bring you new adventures and exciting triumphs, but you have to keep pushing yourself to try new things! You got this 😊🙏🏻
You only fail if you give up. Just keep moving forward. I’m 40 and have felt like such a failure because of where I’m at in my career and income. I’m learning to be more thankful where God has me because it’s right where I’m supposed to be. Just keep trying to be a better person and doinng what is right. Don’t give up.
"where God has me because it’s right where I’m supposed to be" Does that equally apply to those who live on the streets in dire poverty? It's okay to give up - letting go is actually a huge relief. Being a try hard creates stress.
I feel like a failure in my fifties. People all have jobs and family and children and friends, I am sick and on disability and alone and broke. I worry I will be homeless or in prison or psychotic. It could be worse for you. You could suffer health problems. Health is the most valuable than everything above all. If you have your health nothing should matter to you. I have ten diagnosis or so ... my future looks bleak. Be happy you have your health, roof, food, family and friends.
I'm 35, about to turn 36 in a few months. I feel like the good times are behind me. My dad died a few months ago, I'm morbidly obese, struggle to find a good job and I'm single. I know I should be happy for the little things like my friends, but I just feel lost.
I’m sorry for your loss. Hang in there my friend. If you things about yourself you’d like to change, then start there. The more you work on yourself, the more likely you are to attract high quality people into your life. Wishing you all the best 😊🙏🏻
I lost my grandfather recently,I still feel lost and I have been getting help lately from psychologists and community centres etc ,and I have been going to the gym and lost over 20 kilos basically I am trying to say the climb up is slow unfortunetly but it is moving.Creating new pleasant memories takes time,I am worried this all cliched advice I am just trying to put out some of what I have been through and hope that it helps
I'm 34 about be 35 in Nov, I quit my dead end job and been unemployed since June 11 plus I'm obese just like you. You know what?, I looked at myself in the mirror and took responsibility for my life and forgave myself for my shortcomings, take everyday one step to a goal, right know I'm on 3 day water fast trying to go to 35 days. I did it before and lost 50 ibs I sure can do it again, have faith in yourself and learn to appreciate the steps even though they might not seem significant.
@@Ib90Just remember to feed your brain too man. I have seen a morbidly obese man with a lot of will power and he starved his brain. He still looked big but he lost somewhere around 100lbs I think which is impressive but he did it by not eating thinking his reserves would carry him. Ended up causing damage to his brain. It needs nutrients.
One thing to remember, is that contrary to the popular perception of young entrepreneurs, most people who start successful businesses do so in their 40s. While there are many people who do impressive things in their younger years, they are generally outliers (which is why they get a lot of attention). It's quite common for the 40s to be where many things begin.
Not this day and age, anyone at any age is starting businesses. My boomer dad started his at 28 and I started mine at 27. Also bought first rental property at 24
Will turn 52 in a couple of months. Am starting from scratch professionally as I try to reinvent and redraw my career. Hope I look back in 5-10 years and believe I have not wasted my life away. Had a decent career but last few years post covid have been rough and the only shining light is that I am still swimming and haven’t drowned in the turbulence of the past few years. Professional disruption also has effected my personal life which I am totally responsible for.
I grew up where almost all my peers got married and moved straight into their own homes. They had good jobs, meanwhile I had none of those things. People were confused about me and also judged me for it. I am learning to count my blessings and I can say that a lot of important changes have been made on the inside. I'm also glad I'm not married. I just need to forget those critical voices...
Absolutely! You have to look at the internal growth as juts as valuable as the outside changes or results! Living life in your own way and on your own path is the most important form of success. 😊🙏🏻
You both nailed it! I constantly remind myself of those things (now at 47), also being a kind of “black sheep” and weirdo. Inside, psychological and spiritual growth is quite phenomenal, and that’s huge success. I’d say embrace the uniqueness!
I'm 30 right now and for the last 8 years i feel like i've accomplished nothing, i'm stuck in a job i hate, i'm no where near my financial or social or physical goals and no matter what i do, that feeling of guilt and regret is always there. I feel like i've entered a tunnel and i can't see it's end.
Mohammed. When I was 30 I was still living at home. After a failed venture it was bad. Then after being some bad luck meeting some crazy people. It was rough. Through luck and not giving up I had some investing luck but still haven’t made it yet. As in I still need a job. Keep trying.
I started a degree at 35. Trust, me 30s young but the decade goes fast. Invest into education. 5 or 6 years worth of it, you still have 5 years to gain experience, your 40s will be sweet.also...no one knows anything in their 20s. Don't be so hard on yourself.
I'm in my 30s and I just had a terrible job interview. I recognized how loser I am at this age. This video saves me a little bit, I hope I can be both tough and kind to myself to move forward.
You’re not a loser! You’re on your own path and learning to thrive at your own pace. Remember there is no scorecard in life and you have to be supportive of yourself as you would a good friend in the same situation. Hang in there!
@@rdallas81Really? A Gym? I don’t think so. Why people think going to a gym will change the way you think about yourself? There are more to it. It’s just foolishness.
@@MLagarde0425It actually does make a huge difference to your mindset. Regularly going to the gym has completely changed my mindset from negative into much more positive. It's about telling yourself that you are willing to be uncomfortable now for rewards later. Science agrees - "meta-studies finds that exercise is more beneficial for conditions such as anxiety and depression than standard psychotherapy or medications. The new study found that essentially all forms of exercise produced significant mental health benefits"
@@MLagarde0425Hello, I've been walking for the last 9 days everyday for 10 k steps a day, when i accomplished one entire week of doing that i could easily reply to my bad self talk by saying "sure dude ive messed up my life, i didn't do my best, but you know what? At least i can walk 10k steps a day for 7 days, so shut the f up". It's helps, working out helps for shutting down the inner self talk.
I'm 46 and when I hit 40 for some reason it hit me that I was a failure. I think the main reason was before 40 I felt like I had gobs of time to succeed, but it got in my mind that being in my 40s meant since I wasn't successful I have failed in life. Admittedly I still feel that way but am realizing that it's simply not true and it's all in my head. Sometimes you need to hear it from others so I thank you for the video.
I'm 47 and I think for me atleast, 40's has been challenging due to my perimenopausal problems. Other than that I feel grateful for everything including the small joys.
I'll be 40 in 6 months. Listening to this video gives me a lot of perspective, and I will likely hear it again to remind myself of how far I've really come in my life.
Pushing 40 here, and I don't know why the heck this was in my inbox. I'm pretty much a complete and total failure, but I genuinely stopped giving a f*ck, and it's been the best thing to ever happen to my mental health. I work a hard job that pays *BELOW* minimum wage, haven't had a friend or girlfriend in years, and I have zero desire to change any of that. When I did have people in my life, they *SUCKED.* Even if they started out good, they always become sh*t after a while. Being alone isn't for everybody, and I get that, but damn it, it's been pretty freakin great for me. I don't know why I'm getting video's like this, because I intend on changing nothing, but the algorithm somehow seems to think I need to change. I'm good UA-cam. Leave me TF alone, and keep showing me Pokemon speed runs, updates from my favorite band, and the occasional ghost video. Thanks.
I'm only 29 entering 30 and I definitely feel left behind. Watching my peers around me be somewhere where I should be makes me feel lonely sometimes, but your video was absolutely comforting. Thank you. 🙏
If I may give some tips of my own experience: - You don't need to be productive all the time. Take a step back from time to time. Chill, enjoy the moment. Doing nothing can recharge your batteries. - You don't need to financial independed at your 50s or earn a lot of money. It's ok if you have a little less as long as you don't have major depths. - It's ok if your relation with your partner doesn't last. Sometimes no relationship is better then a bad one.
Wait so all that is ok for you right. The idea one does not need to do that or this or something is ok or not depends on them right? I can't tell people what is ok or not ok for them only they can say that.
I'm 36 and I have accomplished a level of education, and tried some ventures in the past in my early 30s but it failed. The feeling of the failure energy kinda comes in at times; the fact I have no kids, and not where I'm at in my career hurts at times. I'm happy to come cross your video and most of all I think trusting god is what is sustaining me. Im hoping for better
Your faith in God is the most important thing ever. "FOR what's it profit a man to gain the whole world just to lose his soul". God is far more important than even you can imagine. Faith!
Well.. if you have God and trusting him, tell him your plan. God can give life to a dead career. Have faith he will give you double for your troubles. Get up and tell him, ask God with faith. Tell him your plan. God is still performing miracles. He is in the business of moving mountains. What are you afraid of? Don’t let fears stopped you. God can do anything he wants. You have to ask him. He is a promise keeper. Ask him my Brother. Talk to him like a friend. You will be surprise how he will bless you. I thought I could never never achieved anything in my life, until I started asking God. Let me tell you, God given me 7times fold. No one is more happy than God himself to see you go after what’s you deserve. You supposed to ask your father. Come back and tell me what he has done for you.
I waa raised in a DOOMSDAY CULT that discouraged being financially successful & discouraged getting a college education. The END of the world was any day....finally woke up. Lost my entire social network and family. Trying to rebuild my life.
Go get a new first and last name. Move to another state and start a new family tree. Now you are all alone but a new beginning can come from you. That’s what I did
I liked what you said about how failure creates wisdom which begets prudence. I'm 36. Trauma set me back so much time has been spent overcoming this and I'm still climbing my way out. Yes, kindness. The key has been giving myself grace to go slow because shame can drive you to go too fast, take on too much and fail.
I am 43. I guess I succeeded in most of my life. The only thing I need to focus on is my financial situation. Not for social status or anything of the sort. That is meaningless to me. But because worrying if I have enough money to cover my basic needs has become really tiresome.
27, no partner or kids, no house or car or much savings, a handful of friends but just got done with a group of them. Just did an upheaval of my life thus far, and am starting again (with similar goals to before). currently living with my parents for a while before I move out again. It sure is tough.
my friend who I grew up with recently got married, I'm not jealous of her life (I know too much about it and can see that she's just going along with the flow), but in a way I am saddened by my lack of my person or my community
Hello. I stopped listening to people a long time ago. People called me names. Some of them were stupid, illiterate, book worm, nerd, the perfect one. I have lived my life the way that I want. Without friends, or any type of support. I never brag about my success, because it's my achievement. I only let the name calling affect me, because I wasn't prepared for the drastic change in my life. Since then my life has been changing every day, because I took action to make changes happen. I'm 57 years old now, and feel that only I can make changes in my life. All the name callings that I got were those names of the people that did that. There is more to name calling.😊
thank you a lot for this message; i am really falling on the edge here; i got married and joined my husband in germany; after being super successful in Dubai; i suddenly came to a country that i am worth to literally nothing;
Really needed to hear this. There is so much pressure in society that in order to be a success in life is to be on the perpetual hedonic treadmill. A quote a love from Alan Watts: if you say that getting the money is the most important thing you will spend your life completely wasting your time you'll be doing things you don't like doing in order to go on living that is to go on doing things you don't like doing which is stupid.
I was 38 newly married with a daughter on the way and 30k in debt . Living in a shitty house with $1000 in the bank . I was weeks away from being homeless with me new family . This was a very stressful time in my life . I ended up starting my company I have today . I got my contractors license for roofing and started knocking on peoples doors to find business . I built my business to 750k first year to 1.4 million my second year and now this year we will break 3 million in revenue . This year I will take home a 95k salary plus 500k bonus . My life has dramatically changed and you can do it too. Stop working for other people and get off your ass and start a business , take control of your future
Good advice ! I’ve started my own business 2 years ago and although it picked up its still very bad especially this year . I have grit but I look at my bills and ask myself When do I give up and go back to corporate 😢
I was a bright student in high school, but joined for commerce and business in school just because of friends. Failed to make it to graduation in 2003 and lost my dad in 2004, I dropped studies and left India in 2005. I sent my sister to college (she has 2 masters now) and bought a home for mom in 2014. Even without a college degree I got a job (not a career) in Dubai. I got married in 2015 and we have a baby born in 2016. In 2020 I lost my job to pandemic. Since then I have been unemployed and broke. My son is Autistic, so my wife can't get a job. The last 2 years (and still) is a hell. I don't know whether this is depression or not. But I don't feel happy at all. I am an extrovert, my social/interpersonal skills are above average. That's the only reason why I am still pushing it forward.
Problem at my 40s is not about not succeeding. At a certain point, i can accept i didn't achieved all my plans but tht's ok. Problem is about so much ppl bullshiting me, not respecting me and even more: not giving a sht about considering me a a decent human being.
I can understand Daniel because I'm close to 40, and sometimes that feeling got me deeply. Thank you Daniel for this message, it was really good and practical.
I'm 46 and feel the same as you. I'm afraid it's too late for me so I'm trying to focus on other things and enjoy the simple things in life, and try to stay positive and know that everyone has the same finish line (death). But of course it's difficult.
Knowing or feeling really strong that you may never be married, have kids, and die alone with no one to talk to on a regular basis, is a big failure for me, money is worthless in that situation!
I feel like a failure. 45 next week and in the last few years diagnosed with an neurological illness that has been a nightmare to eradicate- endless delays in treatment due to Corona happening. I'm hoping soon to get it sorted and return back to the workplace and have a little one whilst I just about still can; I've had enough. X
You will come through this time my friend. Just stay focused on the future you want, and what you have that is working. I promise better times are ahead for you!
Thanks for this. I’m 43 and feel a bit like a failure but less so after watching. My biggest regret is sometimes (often if I’m being honest) is that I spend so much time feeling like a failure that I’m not enjoying the good wonderful things like my lovely wife or beautiful daughter - I will be present but not present.
Thank you so much for sharing this. It seems near impossible for me to escape the feeling of someone else keeping score. But accepting that no one is keeping score, I can only imagine, is quite liberating.
You got it Matt! It’s a hard mindset to escape for sure. But the more you focus on the fact there is no scorecard, the more enjoyable the journey of life becomes! 😊🙏🏻
I'm turning 40 soon. I went back to College at 30 and I am now in a career field I wanted to be in. I wish I had done all this sooner. I am making good money but I still can't afford a home which is annoying. I don't have a g.f and I don't have much hope that I will find a good woman to settle down with. I thought by now I would have a home and a steady relationship. I am not so certain I would feel happier if I was married. Many of my friends don't seem happy married and many are divorced single Dads.
My mom told me that I'm ruining my life because I'm 35 without a boyfriend or children. Probably one of the worst things a parent can say to their child. I had to tell myself that I have to accept myself and tell myself that I'm good enough because in her eyes I never will be.
Thank you. I turned 40 this year and am really struggling with all of these things. There are so many things I still wish to do in life and feel so far behind.
You will get there my friend! Life is long and there is not time limit to become your best self! You are on your journey and that’s all that matters! 😊🙏🏻
Really resonated with your video, thanks for sharing your viewpoint. I’m 58, financially challenged, survived the pandemic when 95% of my business stopped overnight, am trying to change careers and having had a lifetime of success in sales and management, I am struggling to be relevant in 2022, predominantly because of ageism I believe. I’m not social media savvy or not well connected but still have the desire to succeed and thrive. I started 2 businesses, sold one and took the other to just under a million t/o in under 4 years and it failed after bank crisis so I know I can do it. I look forward to posting what actions I took to turn my life around at 58 ? Great video
Paul, it’s inspiring to hear that you are persisting despite some big setbacks! I’ve been there myself my friend, and I can relate to the situation you’re in. Keep me posted on how your journey progresses! We’re all behind you! 😊🙏🏻
Im 56. When I was about 25 yrs younger I dated an absolute bombshell. I ran into her yesterday. Shes married, they have 3 homes, Im happy for her - shes been through a true hell. I did go there - the I dont own a hm thing blah blah blah. I just was hired on to an excellent job & the boss seems like a very good guy. I need to remember to be as kind to myself AT LEAST as kind as I am to others. Timely, thank you.
I'm 39, quit my job because I couldn't stand it anymore after years of being unhappy and depressed because of it. I know I should have quit earlier, but that's in hindsight. Now, at this point in my life, I have nothing I want to do. Nothing I feel like achieving, and it's terrifying in a way. I'm experiencing a state of almost complete anhedonia and I've never felt this way before. I feel like I'm stuck and I desperately want to get unstuck from this way of thinking. The SSRI's aren't working the way they should either, so I'm kind of at a loss right now.
Thank you. This helped recalibrate my 38 year old brain at 1:30 AM after one of those days where I just felt "Wow, half my life is down the drain now and I haven't achieved THIS and THAT". Glad I found your video.
Thanks Daniel. turning 40 in two mentions. immense sense of failure in my career and in terms of romantic relationshios (lack thereof on both ends). It's nice to know I'm not alone. I'm just tired and scared but I'm gonna do my best and see what happens. god willing, i will be able to have a healthier perspective and hopefully some loving,healing, and exciting events will come into my life.
I love gratitude journals. Recently, my husband was deliberating a job in a big city, but he was holding himself back because he thought he hadn’t accomplished enough in our town. When he wrote out all his accomplishments currently, he found that he DID accomplish a lot! It really helped us decide whether to stay or to go since his thinking was really clouded with unknowns.
I really needed this video, i’m here at home (called out of my stressful, soul sucking, dead end call center job) while my significant other travels for work, my finances are terrible (rent and car payment are killing me 😞) and i have no idea what to do next or how to even do it. My family members and friends are all very successful and do not have visible financial issues and are creating great memories (vacations, events, activities) while i have trouble figuring out just getting thru an average day. Scary out look of the future but i have to be hopeful and take small steps towards something, this video among others is the first step.
40 indeed is a hell of an age, where we start questioning everything. I think it's a Universal forties crisis feeling...as stated Somewhere, 40 is the end of youth. While 50 is the beginning of old.
You don’t have as many chances as you did at 20. That’s why it hurts more. If you cut out weddings and holidays, being single is ok. I’ll survive financially but I’m lacking in social situations. I’m focusing on controlling my weight, because it’s the one thing I can control. I look younger than I did at 35. I was 275. The other regret I have is not having foot surgery faster. I waisted 10 years limping around. A surgery corrected the problem.
47 here. I had low energy vibes during my teenage and 20s. I assume this was because of shitty diet. I still did sports and was very physically active. I just couldnt concentrate at school though. The jobs I had were uninspiring mainly due to my feeling like a zombie in the mornings. (I work nightshifts now which suit my circadian rhytm better) Now my energy levels are completely different, much higher and im able to focus. We've had a food revolution the last 10 years. I could have used this in my youth. Also hearing about other peoples experiences on youtube would have helped tremendeously.
I am so glad that this video came in my feed! I was just talking about this to my wife yesterday for the nth time. This video was an excellent reminder that at 44, I have a lot more living to do!
You’re still here because you’re on the path of growth and development. The reward is in the journey and the evolution we experience because of the setbacks! Hang in there my friend! 😊🙏🏻
Daniel, your video came into my feed today, titled feeling like a failure at 40, your content and explanation of feeling a lack of accomplishment is very insightful and helpful. We sometimes have unrealistic goals and expectations of life outcomes. Life can be a mix of successes and massive failures, one of the biggest life charging principles is knowing your limitations and maintaining good self care boundaries. Keep up the good work Daniel!
Hang in there my friend! I’ve been there myself. These things turn around and you will look back on this time as a period of growth and development that took you to the next level. It’s not easy right now, but I promise it will get better. 😊🙏🏻
The worst part is when others ask you what happen to stay where you are. It is also true thst even when you try hard and have all the requirements, you will still need to be given the opportunity!
Daniel, for some reason you popped up on my feed today and your words are just what I needed to hear. Thank you so much mate! You seem like a genuinely good person 👍🏻
Great video! Been feeling this way a lot lately! Got let go from my job last year in the worst way possible. I was so loyal to the company & for them to let me go the way they did made me feel like I don't matter. I'm making much less money now, but one area I'm grateful for is even though my new job is harder on my body, I clock in & clock out at the end of the day. I leave work at work, I didn't do that at my higher paying job. My health insurance at my new job is 10x better, has more coverage than last job. I think I constantly compare myself to others being farther ahead in some areas of their lives. But we are all struggling with something. This video was just what I needed! 🎉
So easy to feel like a failure but we forget about the importance of being a decent human being, being surrounded by family and friends and making ourselves happy by doing things that interest and fulfil us. fulfil
I feel like a failure cuz I’m doing same minimum wage job for like 12 years almost and not going forward because high jobs seem too hard for me and me having learning problems makes me freak out even doing any high job and getting fired
I’m 48 and I’ve accomplished SO much! I am still feeling it! I appreciate this video! Single mom and now my son is almost 17 and I’m just looking at myself again…
You are spot on mate! I am saving this video for reference later. I am 40 now and yes I get those same feelings that you talk about mainly around my career. Like most I am guilty of comparing my career with my friends some of whom are very successful from a career point of view. But then I tend to ignore the personal success I have had despite the failures. I guess it's about perspective and as you said being kind and supportive to myself. More importantly it's about taking the steps that are necessary to keep building towards improving the aspects that I feel as failures.
I love Biaaa Biaaaaaaa. She raps different, she actually got bars, always dripped down in fly shit, face card never declines & she has a unique voice where it sounds like she is raspy whispering & she has a trademark way to say her name Bia Biaaaaa ❤❤❤❤❤
Thanks for sharing your thoughts and honest feeling with us Daniel. I love the point you raised "there is no scorecard in life". Sometimes we need to go easy on ourselves and understand that success & happiness is all subjective. As long as we are improving in some ways everyday, it is all that matters :)
Failed medical school after 5 years in my 20s and I cant stomach starting over for school. Now Ive had nothing but dead end low-skill jobs and break even monthly. Im 40 in a year and already am having a midlife crisis. I feel school is only way to success, but cant stand the thought of going back. I feel like such a loser. Thanks for advice and this video.
Im 39, turning 40 in three months. Cant believe it and accept it. I have just started working on my career... No kids, no partner. Only big brain and no hopes. Just hard work and doing it finally consciously... Finally. Where have i been all these years?
Finding yourself? You know what is ironic? I'm 29 and about to earn my bachlor in mechanical engineering, i was so slow fought depression for YEARS, and trying to get by, so there i am ruminating feeling this black hole in my chest, when it''s about my self i'm like "yo dude you suck just end this misery" but when i read others ( like you) i'm like "Bro/sis big hearth for putting yourself out there". That's interesting. I think we should our selfs as "external people". It's ironic how hard we are to our selfs, but with others is always much better. Typed this because i can relate with you, i'm about to start my career too. And trust me if not at 25 like everyone else the feeling of being "late" is the same both as 29 and at 39.
I remember talking to a prisoner, who's serving a life sentence, about his release date. He's been in prison since his mid 20s and was in his mid 40s at the time of our conversation. How to convince someone in that position to keep going? We're raised to believe that we are something we're not, then we form our identities around that part of ourselves be it our jobs, looks, status etc.. but those things change and then who are we? When I get down and feel like a failure I am usually desiring love or approval externally and to compare or selves to others or to pursue happiness is a fast track to misery. How many wise people have echoed that sentiment? I'm a weirdo, my ideas aren't popular and at 39 I'm earning close to minimum wage. The truth is, I've never wanted to engage with society, I hate having a job, but love to work on my own projects. My dream is to reinspire people, undo the negative programming and encourage them to let go of self limiting BS... (belief systems). Most misery is self inflicted whilst seeking the approval of people we don't even like, gain status in a society which doesn't serve us and work towards a goal someone else set for us. Besides, How many 'successful' people are unhappy? We've seen what can happen.. There is a spiritual essence within all of us all, a point of unique energy which only we as individuals can express and once it has gone it will never occur again. Everyone is so traumatized from childhood, school, media, technology, loss of connection, consumerism and so on that we've forgotten our true selves. We're here so briefly, to live and learn. There is no great reveal, no first prize, I only hope to have had positive impact and to have learnt to give and recieve love to the best of my ability, reduce suffering in others and to be at peace when my life comes to an end. You can keep the trinkets and crumbs of the unconscious life I want to live consciously, fearless and free.
You are a great man. Im genuine, i would gladly become your internet friend, if you want (my offer Is there). (I dont know how ti befriend someone from internet).
I think the most depressing part of feeling like a failure is not not being where you want to be in life but feeling like there is no hope of ever getting there.
There is always hope! Just try a new way or change courses. The only failure is I’m not continuing to try! 🙏🏻
@@midsonshort Sometimes there's no hope. At 40, I would like to have kids, but I have done so many treaments, I have lost so much money, have being so depressed and physically drained. I just had to stop. Now I am trying to change my mind from being childless to being childfree...
100% The lack of hope is the real destroyer. That's REAL depression.
I’m sorry about that
I really hope things get better for you
@@elsacouto209 Not taking your situation lightly, is adoption not an option?
The hardest part for me is Envy and Regret.
You nailed it I never felt envy and regret until I hit 50 and lost my job since then I have been stuck financially then my wife died at 50 and that was the worst thing that ever happened to me I was broke at 30 but didn’t mind because time was on my side now my wife is gone my health is failing and I’m wondering how I will survive another 10 years I believe I the rapture so maybe I won’t have to worry about it
@@dogboy5398 There are cases though where everything goes pretty much smooth, except for some minor insecurities probably. It's called luck.
It's accepting that there will most likely always be someone with more materialistic things and who is also happy, but trying to be content with what YOU have.
Because only from this peacefull state of contentment, posibilities will open for YOU.
@@dogboy5398 That's what i was also trying to say ;) But... this is easier said than done because of the programs in our brain. That knowledge about what you say has to become a feeling in order for it to become a wisdom. It can take years of practice.
For me Envy is 20% but regret is a lot more... God gave me chances to move up in life. And i felt I was moving ahead with all those fancy parties and travel for work but at one point i blew those chances due to professional issues. Some were blown by Covid. Now i am stuck with a mediocre job lost my professional contacts and out of the industry i loved the most and unable to find a way back in... Envious to see my colleagues travel, fancy dinners, meetings and here i am liking their posts behind a laptop....
@@kunalarora18I understand, but your attitude is inflicting misery and pain on you, you lose dignity and aren’t moving in a good direction while thinking like that. But you can choose how you look at things and flip it around. If you look at the half-full glass, treat yourself nicely and live your life as joyfully as you can, without comparing yourself to others on social media etc., things will get better. And all what matters is your state of mind, the rest is not that important, because it follows and reflects it (even if slowly or modestly in some aspects). I hope you see what I mean. I’m basically in the same kind of situation where I’d feel like shit compared to people around me, and it requires me a constant effort not to fall (back) in that looser mindset, but it works and is really worth it. To the point where I can see and feel and experience some things which are great and wouldn’t be possible at all with the looser mindset. Hope you’ll get something out of this.
at 42 I don't have what my mates have... no career, unemployed, no family of my own, no kids, no partner, stuck as a caregiver for my disabled brother and sickly mother... but I look like I'm in my 20's, my health is great, and I'm not overweight. Unlike many of my peers, I'm not monitoring my blood pressure... so I'm okay with that trade off 🎉
Glad your content bro
Its crazy, my bf who is 43 came to me one night after coming home from work and said to me "babe you shouldnt be with me. I have nothing." But i see his decently working car and job and his adorable cat and loving family. I told him "what are you talking about? You have everything and more from what i can see!" The truth is he is super insecure being his age, not being married or "making enough money", not having a house yet, etc etc. While i totally empathize with his worries, it pains me that he would feel so low about it to the point of telling me i shouldnt be with him, even if he was half joking 💔
There is something significant about reaching your 40s and not feeling like you're in a good place. I think before I hit 40 I felt like there was still time to turn it around. Hitting 40 is like "shit, I'm probably halfway through and I still haven't got anywhere"
I kind of feel the same way. But the other day, I suddenly saw it differently. How about this: at 40 you've "only" been an adult for 19 years. If you live to 80, you still have 40 adult years ahead of you, that's twice the amount you've had! And if you suddenly turned into a newborn baby right now, just imagine what life experiences would be ahead of you to take you from baby to 40. You still have that SAME time, except you won't have to be half-conscious in diapers first! (You may just end like that, whaha.) Okay, maybe this all sounds super weird, but maybe it helps. Cheers.
@@arbierix Brilliant!
I agree! I am not where I want to be at 40, but thank goodness I started to implement where I wanted to be before 40. Even so, at 40+ you still have time to do it. It's just more apparant the significance of time.
@@arbierix I never looked at it that way. Thanks for sharing that, it really helps me.
@@LinkRocks That makes me happy! Have a great journey!!
I'm 40, I live with my ex-girlfriend, i have a crap retail job like a teenager, and haven't completed anything in my life. nothing in my past makes sense - lots of avenues explored. no cohesive identity. I feel empty.
Damn me too 😢
That's tough brother. If you can, move to a different house. I've lived in kitchen cuboards of crazy catladies until well in my 30s, but not having an ex-gf in my space made it quite alright.
The way I see it, by the time you’re 40 nobody around you really cares what you’re doing anyway, and it’s an opportunity to just let go and not take life too seriously anymore.
Very true!! 😊
I can see why people turn into alcoholics. When you feel hopeless the bottle seems like your only friend.
It's definitely tough at times - especially over the past year or so. But there are others out there who will support you if you reach out. Hang in there my friend, and remember that life has a way of turning around.
Codeine
Did this for 13 years on and off and finally stopped got help and started to accept and change. I feel better not living in a fairy tale escape trap...the inevitable comes whether sober or not.
The only reason I’m not where I should be at 36 is because I was an alcoholic and wasted a decade of my life. After 4 years sober I’m where I should have been at 25
@@jak2828going through this EXACT thing now, was just living in the moment and not thinking about the future
Thank you so much for this. I am 45 and very ashamed to disclose that I am unemployed. Have never felt so useless and pressured in my life. Honestly, the closest I felt with anyone recently is you. I am so thankful for discovering your channel. I really am. Thank you!
Thank you for sharing, I can only imagine how difficult it must be for you right now. Hang in there and know that better times are coming for you. It’s always darkest before the dawn. And at the very least know that many people out there have been in a similar situation (me included) and come through it. 🙏🏻
Love and light George 💖 their are more of us out there than you realise but it can be a lonely place.Ive found some of my tribe in recent years ..to the outside I look like I have great life,beautiful home,idyllic location but for me love and peace of mind are the most important things I'm striving for now it's seems like it's really what most important and hardest to find in your 40's ...🙏🌄💞🌠
Action to grow
Truck driver 5 to six figures $
Options trader
Uber eats $200- $300 a day
Go back to college become a doctor, lawyer, engineer
Thanks for this. I quit my corporate life at 42 due to stress. This was followed by divorce, bankruptcy and moving from a 3 bed house to a box room in a little old ladies house so I could retrain as an actor. I'm now 50 (tomorrow), still renting a room and have multiple jobs (due to ADHD). I've done multiple small gigs on TV, Film etc none of which have lead to anything big tho. Feels like I'm getting nowhere and my ADHD is crippling my mind. I've considered quitting acting to get a "normal" job but I have suffer so much to get here I can't stand the thought of quitting now.
when you are trained to be a server.. you likely end up a servant.
yes we see stories about the stand out, but thats WHY we hear stories.
If you think you feel bad at 40, try 50. I've finally started doing the inner work I should've done decades ago. Just getting started taking the steps, but they're working. I'm more honest with myself now. I'm more patient and compassionate with others. It's scary in terms of how much time do I have left? I can't control that, but I'm not going to stop just because I feel fear about it. I want this for me to make my life better and to enjoy my life more. My joy in my life affects people around me. Self love is the hardest thing to learn after a lifetime of self hatred. It matters because I matter. I want to impact my corner of the world as much as possible. Now I actually can.
Keep at it
This is so beautiful
I am now finally learning to understand what Self Love is
I have been doing the inner work these last 3 years and have basically unearthed a can of worms in my family which has completely sent me back to feeling worthless again
I'm 56. My sorry Incel ass is cooked
You’re on the right track. I’m rooting for you.
I'm 50 tomorrow and feel the same way.
Turning 40 in two months and not much to show for it. I actually do keep a gratitude journal, which does help. A grateful heart is a happy heart.
I believe your experience and wisdom is the most valuable thing you carry with you. Keep at it, and you will find the path for you. 🙏🏻
You're not alone. I'm 27 after having a quarterlife crisis, identity crisis, existential crisis. I'm realizing too people in age 40-60 are feeling lost and behind too. They just hide it better. You're not alone.
turning 40 in 3 years and i really screwup and didn't meet my expectation. even though i have graduate degree and a job that is okay. No family, no travel . Had to understand where things go wrong. I wish i had a better family advice.
I am old, tired and useless. I failed in life.
Ja Stellano may I ask what you have or not achieved? Can you let us know your situation?
I’m 37yrs old with a masters degree, great body, excellent health, can provide basic needs but don’t have much physical cash. My friends have homes, lots of money, great careers, nice cars etc.
Despite it all, I’m wayyyyy happier. The money will come. I’m not in any rush and have never been hard on myself. I just don’t focus on what others are doing or achieved. It’s ME and the world. My time will come.
Great video!!!!
Thank you for sharing! Glad you are finding the right path for yourself! 😊🙏🏻
I love your mindset. While you waiting, Try to including God in your plan. He will give you double.
I said the same thing in my 20s. I'm 41 in 2 days and still without a career despite trying and it sucks
Im 31 and I´ve been feeling like a failure since my 20s. Im grateful for finding your channel. Greetings from Mexico!
Samehere
Im 30 and fele this too. Your not alone. We all suck lol but keep learning
Same here I'm 29 😞
Yes 😢
I've been feeling like a failure since year 0
Dude, I’ve failed repeatedly in life!! The $hit hurt my soul during those times when I took a chance and failed miserably. However I will say it’s true what the most successful people say, “you will fail 99 times before you succeed just once” more or less. Now lifes getting really good but the road was covered in broken glass and snakes most of the times. The key is to keep pushing yourself, find that drive to keep you going when the light at the end of the tunnel is barely a spark on the horizon.
Most of us tend to feel like a failure EVERY decade! I say we rebel and start feeling like a badass instead!!
Indeed! I’m with you 🙏🏻
I feel the issue has to do with the society we live in. As an African adult, growing up as an only child, i have been pressured into being "better" than my parents. It's difficult particularly because my parents are some are doing particularly well according to the standards of society. But I want a much simpler life away from the city. So growing up in such an environment the people around me. Like I have been literally dragged to another country in the name of going to one of the best universities in the world. Which frankly wasn't even about me, it's like they just wanted to tell people I went abroad at a fancy school. But things happened and the school sold it's campus and I did well like I did not struggle academically, I qualified to get a scholarship but my parents didn't want me moving further away and I was cool with attending a local school. But the eye opener for me was when I sat down to ask myself what I really wanted and who am I living for. I'm not trying to demonize my parents but I realized i had no control of my choices and everything was just dictated by them. So I decided to drop out of university. And just rebel 😗😗😅 I mean I would rather fail with something I want than fail at someone else's decision for me. I'm 20 by the way.
My point is feeling good all of the sudden would be nice but a lot in society brings us well maybe just me down. Especially when you have verbally abusive parents or when everyone around you expects too much from you
Yaaaaaaasssss!🤸
Sign me up 🎉
I lost my belief in my religion at 40 and dropped out of my doctoral program in New Testament after seventeen years of being a minister. I felt like I had wasted the first two decades of my adult life. I had no money, investments, or property, besides my old Toyota Corolla. I scrambled and started a software engineering degree at age 43 and got my first software engineering job at age 46. It was scary, but it was either that or go back to window cleaning. Today's sense of failure can lead to tomorrow's success.
very inspiring!
Needed to hear this, thank you!
My God!
I don't know how true this is, but that's got to be one of the most motivational story I've heard
Thank you for sharing! 🙏🏽
My parents are in their late 50’s and they seem like they are still figuring it out. Learning never stops.
Learning never stops is a cliché ...
Many of us exist within rigid narratives and learn very little at a certain point in our lives.
Look around and speak to people, where are the shining examples of "learning never stops".
They exist, but are a minority in my view.
@@JB.zero.zero.1 I somewhat get what you mean but I meant learning never stops in the sense that, your perception of certain things in life or your life philosophy changes over time depending on who you encounter or the type of life events you experience. For instance, my parents taught me a way of life that I followed to tea. While some of the life advice has served me I realized at some point that I had to correct a lot of their way of thinking. And just when I think I have figured it out all , I come across something else I have to deal with in life, the lessons to me are truly never-ending.
@@samgk1614That’s it, you learn everyday and it never stops, and that makes life being not boring. I’m 47.
@@JB.zero.zero.1Yes, that’s a certain reality, but those people are like dead inside. Those of us who manage to keep the flame lit learn everyday. Basically, it’s a choice and everyone technically has that possibility. Psychologically, it’s all but easy, though, but still… I’m 47 and I’d rather die than live with being mentally dead. So it’s vital to me to show up to life, including learning everyday (as a way of speaking, we obviously don’t learn something substantial 365 times a year 😛). I wish everyone had that understanding and that drive.
@@brunosco 100% . Glad I’m realizing that early!
Try the 50s. We had a massive financial crash last year that has thrown us into debt (massively). Savings gone, debt-laden, and no clear way of getting out of the mess we have found ourselves in. I feel crushed. So yeah, it's a definite thing. Thanks for the video my friend.
Comparison is the thief of joy..
Be content.. wait until you have a divorce or a parental loss..
It divides a family who isn't or hasn't ever been close.
It's depressing when you finally accept the reality of that.
Most ppl are living in a lonliness epidemic..
It's interesting to me that we have so many ppl struggling
40 is here, no family, struggle with unstable job, parents worried about me... very different than my 20-35; but kept working out all throughout 29-40
Working out from 29 to 40 Is worth it?
Cuz im about to start hitting the gym, want to build muscle and stenght
I'm 40. I've achieved very little. I'm enjoying the ride. I don't have time to waste on stupid shiite like regret, envy, low self ersteem, fear. Anyone who even implies I'm a looser gets sent to hell. I give negative Fs. Change my mind. I'm grateful I wake up happy, alive, healthy, have the basics and then some, have enthusiasm and fresh ideas. The most important thing is that I've resolved so much of my trauma originating from childhood. I feel like I'm light years ahead of people like this guy I've been dating who is 10 yr older, has millions, has kids from his marriage. He's so miserable with all this, zero trauma processed, health in shambles and can't enjoy what he's got. Many people I encounter who are like this. I see my life so far as me building a solid foundation. I'm grateful for that. I'm grateful for peace and no anxiety. I'm happy.
Love ur comment!!
I'm 31 this year and I'm clueless where I'm going, I feel stuck and useless. This video gives me hope. All the way from South Africa
Hang in there my friend… the road ahead will bring you new adventures and exciting triumphs, but you have to keep pushing yourself to try new things! You got this 😊🙏🏻
I feel 31 yet am actually 32. Try that!
Action to grow
Truck driver 5 to six figures $
Options trader
Uber eats $200- $300 a day
Go back to college become a doctor, lawyer, engineer
You only fail if you give up. Just keep moving forward. I’m 40 and have felt like such a failure because of where I’m at in my career and income. I’m learning to be more thankful where God has me because it’s right where I’m supposed to be. Just keep trying to be a better person and doinng what is right. Don’t give up.
"where God has me because it’s right where I’m supposed to be"
Does that equally apply to those who live on the streets in dire poverty?
It's okay to give up - letting go is actually a huge relief.
Being a try hard creates stress.
I feel like a failure in my fifties. People all have jobs and family and children and friends, I am sick and on disability and alone and broke. I worry I will be homeless or in prison or psychotic. It could be worse for you. You could suffer health problems. Health is the most valuable than everything above all. If you have your health nothing should matter to you. I have ten diagnosis or so ... my future looks bleak. Be happy you have your health, roof, food, family and friends.
I don’t have friends
God bless you❤
I'm 35, about to turn 36 in a few months. I feel like the good times are behind me. My dad died a few months ago, I'm morbidly obese, struggle to find a good job and I'm single. I know I should be happy for the little things like my friends, but I just feel lost.
I’m sorry for your loss. Hang in there my friend. If you things about yourself you’d like to change, then start there. The more you work on yourself, the more likely you are to attract high quality people into your life. Wishing you all the best 😊🙏🏻
I lost my grandfather recently,I still feel lost and I have been getting help lately from psychologists and community centres etc ,and I have been going to the gym and lost over 20 kilos basically I am trying to say the climb up is slow unfortunetly but it is moving.Creating new pleasant memories takes time,I am worried this all cliched advice I am just trying to put out some of what I have been through and hope that it helps
I'm 34 about be 35 in Nov, I quit my dead end job and been unemployed since June 11 plus I'm obese just like you. You know what?, I looked at myself in the mirror and took responsibility for my life and forgave myself for my shortcomings, take everyday one step to a goal, right know I'm on 3 day water fast trying to go to 35 days. I did it before and lost 50 ibs I sure can do it again, have faith in yourself and learn to appreciate the steps even though they might not seem significant.
@@Ib90Just remember to feed your brain too man. I have seen a morbidly obese man with a lot of will power and he starved his brain. He still looked big but he lost somewhere around 100lbs I think which is impressive but he did it by not eating thinking his reserves would carry him. Ended up causing damage to his brain. It needs nutrients.
Thanks will do 🙂
One thing to remember, is that contrary to the popular perception of young entrepreneurs, most people who start successful businesses do so in their 40s. While there are many people who do impressive things in their younger years, they are generally outliers (which is why they get a lot of attention). It's quite common for the 40s to be where many things begin.
Think and Grow Rich
Not this day and age, anyone at any age is starting businesses. My boomer dad started his at 28 and I started mine at 27. Also bought first rental property at 24
@@MonkofthecaribbeanYou ‘bought’ your first property at 24? Was with all your own money? If so then fair play, but that’s extremely rare by comparison
It’s necessary to feel behind so you push harder. Never satisfied.
thanks man...its been dark lately definitely got lost in my thoughts
So glad that this video could bring you some solace! Wishing you all the best on your journey. 😊🙏🏻
Will turn 52 in a couple of months. Am starting from scratch professionally as I try to reinvent and redraw my career. Hope I look back in 5-10 years and believe I have not wasted my life away. Had a decent career but last few years post covid have been rough and the only shining light is that I am still swimming and haven’t drowned in the turbulence of the past few years. Professional disruption also has effected my personal life which I am totally responsible for.
I grew up where almost all my peers got married and moved straight into their own homes. They had good jobs, meanwhile I had none of those things. People were confused about me and also judged me for it. I am learning to count my blessings and I can say that a lot of important changes have been made on the inside. I'm also glad I'm not married. I just need to forget those critical voices...
Absolutely! You have to look at the internal growth as juts as valuable as the outside changes or results! Living life in your own way and on your own path is the most important form of success. 😊🙏🏻
You both nailed it! I constantly remind myself of those things (now at 47), also being a kind of “black sheep” and weirdo. Inside, psychological and spiritual growth is quite phenomenal, and that’s huge success. I’d say embrace the uniqueness!
I'm 30 right now and for the last 8 years i feel like i've accomplished nothing, i'm stuck in a job i hate, i'm no where near my financial or social or physical goals and no matter what i do, that feeling of guilt and regret is always there. I feel like i've entered a tunnel and i can't see it's end.
Mohammed. When I was 30 I was still living at home. After a failed venture it was bad. Then after being some bad luck meeting some crazy people. It was rough. Through luck and not giving up I had some investing luck but still haven’t made it yet. As in I still need a job. Keep trying.
This is me at 31, sighs😢
I started a degree at 35. Trust, me 30s young but the decade goes fast. Invest into education. 5 or 6 years worth of it, you still have 5 years to gain experience, your 40s will be sweet.also...no one knows anything in their 20s. Don't be so hard on yourself.
@@Asme1111-t8hI have 10 years of studying behind me and I am struggling. I feel like studying won’t help anymore.
You are done
I'm in my 30s and I just had a terrible job interview. I recognized how loser I am at this age. This video saves me a little bit, I hope I can be both tough and kind to myself to move forward.
You’re not a loser! You’re on your own path and learning to thrive at your own pace. Remember there is no scorecard in life and you have to be supportive of yourself as you would a good friend in the same situation. Hang in there!
Go to the GYM.
You will be pleased at how it changes your life.
How you feel inside is far more important than how you think others feel about you.
@@rdallas81Really? A Gym? I don’t think so. Why people think going to a gym will change the way you think about yourself? There are more to it. It’s just foolishness.
@@MLagarde0425It actually does make a huge difference to your mindset. Regularly going to the gym has completely changed my mindset from negative into much more positive. It's about telling yourself that you are willing to be uncomfortable now for rewards later. Science agrees - "meta-studies finds that exercise is more beneficial for conditions such as anxiety and depression than standard psychotherapy or medications. The new study found that essentially all forms of exercise produced significant mental health benefits"
@@MLagarde0425Hello, I've been walking for the last 9 days everyday for 10 k steps a day, when i accomplished one entire week of doing that i could easily reply to my bad self talk by saying "sure dude ive messed up my life, i didn't do my best, but you know what? At least i can walk 10k steps a day for 7 days, so shut the f up".
It's helps, working out helps for shutting down the inner self talk.
I'm 46 and when I hit 40 for some reason it hit me that I was a failure. I think the main reason was before 40 I felt like I had gobs of time to succeed, but it got in my mind that being in my 40s meant since I wasn't successful I have failed in life. Admittedly I still feel that way but am realizing that it's simply not true and it's all in my head. Sometimes you need to hear it from others so I thank you for the video.
I'm 47 and I think for me atleast, 40's has been challenging due to my perimenopausal problems. Other than that I feel grateful for everything including the small joys.
GLASS HALF FULL - Great attitude. Failure is absolutely necessary and nothing grows you faster. Jump in make mistakes and Apply the lessons.
I'll be 40 in 6 months. Listening to this video gives me a lot of perspective, and I will likely hear it again to remind myself of how far I've really come in my life.
Glad it was valuable for you! 😊🙏🏻
Pushing 40 here, and I don't know why the heck this was in my inbox. I'm pretty much a complete and total failure, but I genuinely stopped giving a f*ck, and it's been the best thing to ever happen to my mental health. I work a hard job that pays *BELOW* minimum wage, haven't had a friend or girlfriend in years, and I have zero desire to change any of that. When I did have people in my life, they *SUCKED.* Even if they started out good, they always become sh*t after a while. Being alone isn't for everybody, and I get that, but damn it, it's been pretty freakin great for me. I don't know why I'm getting video's like this, because I intend on changing nothing, but the algorithm somehow seems to think I need to change. I'm good UA-cam. Leave me TF alone, and keep showing me Pokemon speed runs, updates from my favorite band, and the occasional ghost video. Thanks.
do you live alone? coz i live alone and it really sucks for me...
@@neihomai8 I do. I saw your video. I'm sorry about your situation, and I sincerely hope that it gets better if it hasn't already.
@@TheSixthSLoT it hasn't gotten much better, but thank you my brother
@@neihomai8 I'm sorry for the hard times 🙏
I'm only 29 entering 30 and I definitely feel left behind. Watching my peers around me be somewhere where I should be makes me feel lonely sometimes, but your video was absolutely comforting. Thank you. 🙏
So glad it was valuable for you Erika! Wishing you all the best for the best decade! 😊🙏🏻
@@midsonshort Thank you so much! - especially for taking the time to personally reply. 😌
I'm 42.
Full head of hair, shredded to the bone and have to run from 20 year old woman..
Life sucks.
@rdallas81 man it would be so nice if it was the truth... But lets be real, they prefer their peers
God bless anyone reading this.
May you have good health & Happiness & treat others the way you want to be treated.
Kindness goes a long way.
If I may give some tips of my own experience:
- You don't need to be productive all the time. Take a step back from time to time. Chill, enjoy the moment. Doing nothing can recharge your batteries.
- You don't need to financial independed at your 50s or earn a lot of money. It's ok if you have a little less as long as you don't have major depths.
- It's ok if your relation with your partner doesn't last. Sometimes no relationship is better then a bad one.
Wait so all that is ok for you right. The idea one does not need to do that or this or something is ok or not depends on them right? I can't tell people what is ok or not ok for them only they can say that.
God bless you for coming into my life lots of love.
I'm 36 and I have accomplished a level of education, and tried some ventures in the past in my early 30s but it failed. The feeling of the failure energy kinda comes in at times; the fact I have no kids, and not where I'm at in my career hurts at times. I'm happy to come cross your video and most of all I think trusting god is what is sustaining me. Im hoping for better
Your faith in God is the most important thing ever.
"FOR what's it profit a man to gain the whole world just to lose his soul".
God is far more important than even you can imagine.
Faith!
Well.. if you have God and trusting him, tell him your plan. God can give life to a dead career. Have faith he will give you double for your troubles. Get up and tell him, ask God with faith. Tell him your plan. God is still performing miracles. He is in the business of moving mountains. What are you afraid of? Don’t let fears stopped you. God can do anything he wants. You have to ask him. He is a promise keeper. Ask him my Brother. Talk to him like a friend. You will be surprise how he will bless you. I thought I could never never achieved anything in my life, until I started asking God. Let me tell you, God given me 7times fold. No one is more happy than God himself to see you go after what’s you deserve. You supposed to ask your father. Come back and tell me what he has done for you.
Having just recently turned 40 and feeling like a complete failure this video has helped me a lot.
Glad to hear it was helpful Alistair! Hang in there my friend, things will turn around 😊🙏🏻
Don't feel so bad.
I am 42 and have to tell woman half my age I am married. (I AM not married nor do I plan on it)
@@rdallas81You are a liar then. Carry on.
@@MLagarde0425 Go get some exercise lard ass.
I waa raised in a DOOMSDAY CULT that discouraged being financially successful & discouraged getting a college education. The END of the world was any day....finally woke up. Lost my entire social network and family. Trying to rebuild my life.
Go get a new first and last name. Move to another state and start a new family tree. Now you are all alone but a new beginning can come from you. That’s what I did
I liked what you said about how failure creates wisdom which begets prudence. I'm 36. Trauma set me back so much time has been spent overcoming this and I'm still climbing my way out. Yes, kindness. The key has been giving myself grace to go slow because shame can drive you to go too fast, take on too much and fail.
I am 43. I guess I succeeded in most of my life. The only thing I need to focus on is my financial situation. Not for social status or anything of the sort. That is meaningless to me. But because worrying if I have enough money to cover my basic needs has become really tiresome.
27, no partner or kids, no house or car or much savings, a handful of friends but just got done with a group of them. Just did an upheaval of my life thus far, and am starting again (with similar goals to before). currently living with my parents for a while before I move out again. It sure is tough.
my friend who I grew up with recently got married, I'm not jealous of her life (I know too much about it and can see that she's just going along with the flow), but in a way I am saddened by my lack of my person or my community
I was the same at 27
You’re still young don’t worry
you only feel behind if you compare yourself to others. Life is a journy and it's your jounry, not anyone elses. Focus on yourself.
Hello. I stopped listening to people a long time ago. People called me names. Some of them were stupid, illiterate, book worm, nerd, the perfect one. I have lived my life the way that I want. Without friends, or any type of support. I never brag about my success, because it's my achievement. I only let the name calling affect me, because I wasn't prepared for the drastic change in my life. Since then my life has been changing every day, because I took action to make changes happen. I'm 57 years old now, and feel that only I can make changes in my life. All the name callings that I got were those names of the people that did that. There is more to name calling.😊
This guy has the best advice that ive seen here in youtube. Awesome man!
Ahhh cheers man! I wouldn't take anything I say as advice, rather just perspectives that life has taught me. Wishing you all the best! 🙏🏻
@@midsonshort thanks for replying to my comment my dude. Yoh are awesome!
@@hax0rbugan670 Ahhh shucks man, right back at ya! 🙏🏻
thank you a lot for this message; i am really falling on the edge here; i got married and joined my husband in germany; after being super successful in Dubai; i suddenly came to a country that i am worth to literally nothing;
Really needed to hear this. There is so much pressure in society that in order to be a success in life is to be on the perpetual hedonic treadmill. A quote a love from Alan Watts: if you say that getting the money is the most important thing you will spend your life completely wasting your time you'll be doing things you don't like doing in order to go on living that is to go on doing things you don't like doing which is stupid.
I was 38 newly married with a daughter on the way and 30k in debt . Living in a shitty house with $1000 in the bank . I was weeks away from being homeless with me new family . This was a very stressful time in my life . I ended up starting my company I have today . I got my contractors license for roofing and started knocking on peoples doors to find business . I built my business to 750k first year to 1.4 million my second year and now this year we will break 3 million in revenue . This year I will take home a 95k salary plus 500k bonus . My life has dramatically changed and you can do it too. Stop working for other people and get off your ass and start a business , take control of your future
Good advice ! I’ve started my own business 2 years ago and although it picked up its still very bad especially this year . I have grit but I look at my bills and ask myself When do I give up and go back to corporate 😢
I am watching this at 23, because I feel like a failure :D. But gosh this was one of the most wholesome things I have watched this day .
Hey, thank you! I don't think I've ever been called wholesome before, but I will take it 😁
@@midsonshort man your chanel is really unappreciated
@@filipbolco7501 ahhh cheers man, I just hope that it brings something of value to those who find it 🙏🏻
U still young I wish I have taken life more serious at ur age am 31 and nothing to show for
@@victortoll9392
31 isn't old though
What a great video, I wonder how this came across my algorithm. I appreciate your vulnerability in sharing this.
You got it! Glad it was valuable for you! 😊🙏🏻
I was a bright student in high school, but joined for commerce and business in school just because of friends.
Failed to make it to graduation in 2003 and lost my dad in 2004, I dropped studies and left India in 2005.
I sent my sister to college (she has 2 masters now) and bought a home for mom in 2014.
Even without a college degree I got a job (not a career) in Dubai.
I got married in 2015 and we have a baby born in 2016.
In 2020 I lost my job to pandemic. Since then I have been unemployed and broke.
My son is Autistic, so my wife can't get a job. The last 2 years (and still) is a hell.
I don't know whether this is depression or not. But I don't feel happy at all.
I am an extrovert, my social/interpersonal skills are above average.
That's the only reason why I am still pushing it forward.
I hope things are better for you now 🙏🏾
You’ve already achieved a lot.Just hit a bad patch,with your track record and attitude I’m sure it’ll come good again for you!
The pandemic messed a lot of us up. Not your fault, man.
Problem at my 40s is not about not succeeding. At a certain point, i can accept i didn't achieved all my plans but tht's ok. Problem is about so much ppl bullshiting me, not respecting me and even more: not giving a sht about considering me a a decent human being.
I wish everyone love and happiness! ❤You’re not alone.
I can understand Daniel because I'm close to 40, and sometimes that feeling got me deeply. Thank you Daniel for this message, it was really good and practical.
I am turning 40 today and I don't have the life I wished for. I wanted a family and children so bad. 😢
I'm 46 and feel the same as you. I'm afraid it's too late for me so I'm trying to focus on other things and enjoy the simple things in life, and try to stay positive and know that everyone has the same finish line (death). But of course it's difficult.
You can still find it. I believe in you
@@GoldenMushroom64 Thank you. 🙏
Oh wow.. people still want children?
if you can, try to adopt children, and a dog
Knowing or feeling really strong that you may never be married, have kids, and die alone with no one to talk to on a regular basis, is a big failure for me, money is worthless in that situation!
I feel like a failure. 45 next week and in the last few years diagnosed with an neurological illness that has been a nightmare to eradicate- endless delays in treatment due to Corona happening. I'm hoping soon to get it sorted and return back to the workplace and have a little one whilst I just about still can; I've had enough. X
You will come through this time my friend. Just stay focused on the future you want, and what you have that is working. I promise better times are ahead for you!
What pisses me off the most is I'm wiser and smarter at 40, and the 30 year old asshole me had more money
Thanks for uploading this. So many people fall into the fallacy of sunk costs. As long you’re still alive, you can always start improving yourself.
Thanks for this. I’m 43 and feel a bit like a failure but less so after watching. My biggest regret is sometimes (often if I’m being honest) is that I spend so much time feeling like a failure that I’m not enjoying the good wonderful things like my lovely wife or beautiful daughter - I will be present but not present.
Thank you so much for sharing this. It seems near impossible for me to escape the feeling of someone else keeping score. But accepting that no one is keeping score, I can only imagine, is quite liberating.
You got it Matt! It’s a hard mindset to escape for sure. But the more you focus on the fact there is no scorecard, the more enjoyable the journey of life becomes! 😊🙏🏻
I totally agree with you
I didn’t get real motion in life til about 38 😂 never give up is literally all I can say. And know you will never have EVERYTHING perfect.
I'm turning 40 soon. I went back to College at 30 and I am now in a career field I wanted to be in. I wish I had done all this sooner. I am making good money but I still can't afford a home which is annoying. I don't have a g.f and I don't have much hope that I will find a good woman to settle down with. I thought by now I would have a home and a steady relationship. I am not so certain I would feel happier if I was married. Many of my friends don't seem happy married and many are divorced single Dads.
My mom told me that I'm ruining my life because I'm 35 without a boyfriend or children. Probably one of the worst things a parent can say to their child. I had to tell myself that I have to accept myself and tell myself that I'm good enough because in her eyes I never will be.
Thank you. I turned 40 this year and am really struggling with all of these things. There are so many things I still wish to do in life and feel so far behind.
You will get there my friend! Life is long and there is not time limit to become your best self! You are on your journey and that’s all that matters! 😊🙏🏻
@@midsonshort Thank you, sir, much appreciated!
Really resonated with your video, thanks for sharing your viewpoint. I’m 58, financially challenged, survived the pandemic when 95% of my business stopped overnight, am trying to change careers and having had a lifetime of success in sales and management, I am struggling to be relevant in 2022, predominantly because of ageism I believe. I’m not social media savvy or not well connected but still have the desire to succeed and thrive. I started 2 businesses, sold one and took the other to just under a million t/o in under 4 years and it failed after bank crisis so I know I can do it. I look forward to posting what actions I took to turn my life around at 58 ? Great video
Paul, it’s inspiring to hear that you are persisting despite some big setbacks! I’ve been there myself my friend, and I can relate to the situation you’re in. Keep me posted on how your journey progresses! We’re all behind you! 😊🙏🏻
Im 56. When I was about 25 yrs younger I dated an absolute bombshell. I ran into her yesterday. Shes married, they have 3 homes, Im happy for her - shes been through a true hell. I did go there - the I dont own a hm thing blah blah blah. I just was hired on to an excellent job & the boss seems like a very good guy. I need to remember to be as kind to myself AT LEAST as kind as I am to others. Timely, thank you.
I'm 39, quit my job because I couldn't stand it anymore after years of being unhappy and depressed because of it. I know I should have quit earlier, but that's in hindsight. Now, at this point in my life, I have nothing I want to do. Nothing I feel like achieving, and it's terrifying in a way. I'm experiencing a state of almost complete anhedonia and I've never felt this way before. I feel like I'm stuck and I desperately want to get unstuck from this way of thinking. The SSRI's aren't working the way they should either, so I'm kind of at a loss right now.
Same 😢
can you give us an update on how things are for you now? thank you
@@neihomai8 I haven't been able to turn it around yet, unfortunately.
Thank you. This helped recalibrate my 38 year old brain at 1:30 AM after one of those days where I just felt "Wow, half my life is down the drain now and I haven't achieved THIS and THAT". Glad I found your video.
I’m so glad it was able to help you! Rest assured a LOT of us feel the way you do and are still finding our way! 😊🙏🏻
Best element of this great video is your honest eyes...Thanks a lot 💞
Thankyou! I appreciate that! Glad it was valuable for you 😊
Thanks Daniel. turning 40 in two mentions. immense sense of failure in my career and in terms of romantic relationshios (lack thereof on both ends). It's nice to know I'm not alone. I'm just tired and scared but I'm gonna do my best and see what happens. god willing, i will be able to have a healthier perspective and hopefully some loving,healing, and exciting events will come into my life.
I love gratitude journals. Recently, my husband was deliberating a job in a big city, but he was holding himself back because he thought he hadn’t accomplished enough in our town. When he wrote out all his accomplishments currently, he found that he DID accomplish a lot! It really helped us decide whether to stay or to go since his thinking was really clouded with unknowns.
I really needed this video, i’m here at home (called out of my stressful, soul sucking, dead end call center job) while my significant other travels for work, my finances are terrible (rent and car payment are killing me 😞) and i have no idea what to do next or how to even do it. My family members and friends are all very successful and do not have visible financial issues and are creating great memories (vacations, events, activities) while i have trouble figuring out just getting thru an average day. Scary out look of the future but i have to be hopeful and take small steps towards something, this video among others is the first step.
40 indeed is a hell of an age, where we start questioning everything. I think it's a Universal forties crisis feeling...as stated Somewhere, 40 is the end of youth. While 50 is the beginning of old.
You don’t have as many chances as you did at 20. That’s why it hurts more.
If you cut out weddings and holidays, being single is ok. I’ll survive financially but I’m lacking in social situations.
I’m focusing on controlling my weight, because it’s the one thing I can control.
I look younger than I did at 35. I was 275.
The other regret I have is not having foot surgery faster. I waisted 10 years limping around. A surgery corrected the problem.
47 here. I had low energy vibes during my teenage and 20s. I assume this was because of shitty diet. I still did sports and was very physically active. I just couldnt concentrate at school though. The jobs I had were uninspiring mainly due to my feeling like a zombie in the mornings. (I work nightshifts now which suit my circadian rhytm better) Now my energy levels are completely different, much higher and im able to focus. We've had a food revolution the last 10 years. I could have used this in my youth. Also hearing about other peoples experiences on youtube would have helped tremendeously.
So glad to hear you are finding ways to feel better Olaf! Wishing you all the best 😊🙏🏻
I am so glad that this video came in my feed! I was just talking about this to my wife yesterday for the nth time. This video was an excellent reminder that at 44, I have a lot more living to do!
So glad to hear it was useful for you! Yes I agree - you have a WHOLE life ahead of you! Go enjoy it and live it to the fullest! 😊🙏🏻
63. Complete failure. But still here for some reason.
You’re still here because you’re on the path of growth and development. The reward is in the journey and the evolution we experience because of the setbacks! Hang in there my friend! 😊🙏🏻
Daniel, your video came into my feed today, titled feeling like a failure at 40, your content and explanation of feeling a lack of accomplishment is very insightful and helpful. We sometimes have unrealistic goals and expectations of life outcomes. Life can be a mix of successes and massive failures, one of the biggest life charging principles is knowing your limitations and maintaining good self care boundaries. Keep up the good work Daniel!
40 and i was in the sweet spot for 15 years. Divorcing now and im at my lowest ever...
Hang in there my friend! I’ve been there myself. These things turn around and you will look back on this time as a period of growth and development that took you to the next level. It’s not easy right now, but I promise it will get better. 😊🙏🏻
The worst part is when others ask you what happen to stay where you are. It is also true thst even when you try hard and have all the requirements, you will still need to be given the opportunity!
Daniel, for some reason you popped up on my feed today and your words are just what I needed to hear. Thank you so much mate! You seem like a genuinely good person 👍🏻
Hey thanks Adam, I have my moments but I generally like to feel like I’m a good person. Glad the video resonated for you. Thanks for the kind words 🙏🏻
Great video! Been feeling this way a lot lately! Got let go from my job last year in the worst way possible. I was so loyal to the company & for them to let me go the way they did made me feel like I don't matter. I'm making much less money now, but one area I'm grateful for is even though my new job is harder on my body, I clock in & clock out at the end of the day. I leave work at work, I didn't do that at my higher paying job. My health insurance at my new job is 10x better, has more coverage than last job. I think I constantly compare myself to others being farther ahead in some areas of their lives. But we are all struggling with something. This video was just what I needed! 🎉
40s? I had hope all through my 40s. I'm a 56 year old woman now so I know I failed in life.
pls don't say that... you made it to 56, so that's something.
So easy to feel like a failure but we forget about the importance of being a decent human being, being surrounded by family and friends and making ourselves happy by doing things that interest and fulfil us.
fulfil
So very true! Thank you for the reminder! 😊🙏🏻
I feel like a failure cuz I’m doing same minimum wage job for like 12 years almost and not going forward because high jobs seem too hard for me and me having learning problems makes me freak out even doing any high job and getting fired
I’m 48 and I’ve accomplished SO much! I am still feeling it! I appreciate this video! Single mom and now my son is almost 17 and I’m just looking at myself again…
You are spot on mate! I am saving this video for reference later.
I am 40 now and yes I get those same feelings that you talk about mainly around my career. Like most I am guilty of comparing my career with my friends some of whom are very successful from a career point of view. But then I tend to ignore the personal success I have had despite the failures. I guess it's about perspective and as you said being kind and supportive to myself. More importantly it's about taking the steps that are necessary to keep building towards improving the aspects that I feel as failures.
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Thanks for sharing your thoughts and honest feeling with us Daniel. I love the point you raised "there is no scorecard in life". Sometimes we need to go easy on ourselves and understand that success & happiness is all subjective. As long as we are improving in some ways everyday, it is all that matters :)
Amen! Keep on your own path and measure ‘success’ by your own standards. Thanks for your comment and glad it was insightful for you 😊
#FACTS
Failed medical school after 5 years in my 20s and I cant stomach starting over for school. Now Ive had nothing but dead end low-skill jobs and break even monthly. Im 40 in a year and already am having a midlife crisis. I feel school is only way to success, but cant stand the thought of going back. I feel like such a loser. Thanks for advice and this video.
Im 42, i can relate to this. Thank you for this video. It helped a lot
So glad to hear that Gracie! Wishing you all the best! 🙏🏻
Im 39, turning 40 in three months. Cant believe it and accept it. I have just started working on my career... No kids, no partner. Only big brain and no hopes. Just hard work and doing it finally consciously... Finally. Where have i been all these years?
Finding yourself?
You know what is ironic?
I'm 29 and about to earn my bachlor in mechanical engineering, i was so slow fought depression for YEARS, and trying to get by, so there i am ruminating feeling this black hole in my chest, when it''s about my self i'm like "yo dude you suck just end this misery" but when i read others ( like you) i'm like "Bro/sis big hearth for putting yourself out there".
That's interesting.
I think we should our selfs as "external people".
It's ironic how hard we are to our selfs, but with others is always much better.
Typed this because i can relate with you, i'm about to start my career too. And trust me if not at 25 like everyone else the feeling of being "late" is the same both as 29 and at 39.
I remember talking to a prisoner, who's serving a life sentence, about his release date. He's been in prison since his mid 20s and was in his mid 40s at the time of our conversation.
How to convince someone in that position to keep going?
We're raised to believe that we are something we're not, then we form our identities around that part of ourselves be it our jobs, looks, status etc.. but those things change and then who are we?
When I get down and feel like a failure I am usually desiring love or approval externally and to compare or selves to others or to pursue happiness is a fast track to misery. How many wise people have echoed that sentiment? I'm a weirdo, my ideas aren't popular and at 39 I'm earning close to minimum wage.
The truth is, I've never wanted to engage with society, I hate having a job, but love to work on my own projects. My dream is to reinspire people, undo the negative programming and encourage them to let go of self limiting BS... (belief systems). Most misery is self inflicted whilst seeking the approval of people we don't even like, gain status in a society which doesn't serve us and work towards a goal someone else set for us. Besides, How many 'successful' people are unhappy? We've seen what can happen..
There is a spiritual essence within all of us all, a point of unique energy which only we as individuals can express and once it has gone it will never occur again. Everyone is so traumatized from childhood, school, media, technology, loss of connection, consumerism and so on that we've forgotten our true selves. We're here so briefly, to live and learn. There is no great reveal, no first prize, I only hope to have had positive impact and to have learnt to give and recieve love to the best of my ability, reduce suffering in others and to be at peace when my life comes to an end. You can keep the trinkets and crumbs of the unconscious life I want to live consciously, fearless and free.
Thank you for sharing your insights. It sounds like you are really walking your own path in life and doing things your way. Wishing you all the best!
You are a great man. Im genuine, i would gladly become your internet friend, if you want (my offer Is there).
(I dont know how ti befriend someone from internet).
Thee best advice !! Wow 🤩
Thank you for this video
You got it, my friend!